Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.

A/N: As always, I want to thank everyone who left a review on the first chapter. I also want to thank a guest that left me a very nice review on chapter 1 and another one of my stories. I feel you, being on the front lines in a certain way too since I'm in our health offices for a hospital. Time for us is so hard to come by and I'm glad that my stories give you a small break from it.

Adam woke up in a cold sweat. Another night meant another nightmare but this time, it was his own screams that woke him up. He ran his hands up his face and through his hair, trying to regain control of his breathing. He listened to the darkness for any sign that Mackenzie had woken up when the silence remained, he dropped his upper body against his mattress with a sigh. He looked at his alarm clock and with less than an hour before it was meant to ring, he swung his legs against the side of the bed and grabbed his things for a shower. The fact that the master bedroom had an en-suite made it easier for him to get ready while Mackenzie got her much needed sleep. He shivered under the hot mist and when he closed his eyes another memory assaulted his sense. He could hear his two favourite girls laughing when he walked down the stairs on the morning his whole world turned upside down. He found the two of them making breakfast and he had kissed Mackenzie first and then pulled Rebecca in for a proper morning kiss. The memory was interrupted by a knocking on his bedroom door.

"Kenzie baby? You okay?" He opened the door and poked his head out.

"Can I sleep in your bed daddy?" He could already hear her climb into his bed.

"Always." He waited for the silence to return before going back into the shower. She had a habit of doing it almost every morning since Rebecca died and he never had the heart to stop her from doing it. He took his shower and quietly padded through the room and pulled on a pair of jeans on and a t-shirt and went to get their day started. He started the coffee machine, knowing he'd need a strong dose to kickstart his body into shift. He did her lunch and put everything in the fridge and he simply leaned against the kitchen counter with his cup in one hand, his left thumb playing with his wedding band. He watched the sun get up as he finished it and that was his cue to go wake his daughter up. When he opened his bedroom door, he found her curled up in a ball on his side of the bed, her mother's pillow against her chest. She looked peaceful and he was glad that she was adjusting to life without her mother, as best as she could anyways. He sat down against the mattress and rushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Wake up sweet girl." He kissed her temple. Rebecca would wake her like that every morning, and it was something he wanted to keep going even though she was gone.

"Mmm mommy." She mumbled in her slumber.

"No baby, it's daddy. Time to get up." He rubbed his nose against hers.

"Five more minutes dad." She grumbled without real anger to it.

"You sleep five more minutes and we'll both be late." She scrambled as much as she could under the little weight Adam had on her.

"I'm awake daddy." She kissed his cheek and ran out of his room while he chuckled. It always made her hurry up to get ready so he went downstairs while she dressed to make her lunch so they could eat breakfast together before he had to go in for his second shift. He had some eggs and toast for her by the time she came down.

"Where's the bacon daddy?" She looked at him puzzled.

"Not today baby, we're all out." She pouted, stuffing some eggs in her mouth. "But uncle Kevin and uncle Jay are coming over this week-end and I'll have bacon for you."

"What about uncle Tonio? Will he come too?"

"Sorry miss Joy, Antonio is going to be out of town this week-end." She gave her displeasure in the form of a grunt that made him laugh. "Eat up, we're leaving as soon as you're done eating."

"Yeah." She finished her plate, putting it in the dishwasher. Adam watched her bounce towards the fridge, knowing what she was going to do but she stopped in her tracks when she opened the door. "Why is my lunchbox in the fridge?" She looked genuinely puzzled.

"Because it's already done." He smirked over the rim of his last sip of coffee.

"But I usually do our lunches." She frowned.

"I told you that it was my job to take care of us, not yours and that's what I'm doing. Come on, teeth, we have to go." He watched her go as he grabbed his things quickly and they were out the door. He dropped her to school and headed for the district. The front lobby was dead quiet, so Adam went to change out, finding Barnes there already. "Morning." He walked past him to the back of the locker room.

"Ruzek." He acknowledged him. "Ready for number two?"

"I'm ready." He set his bad down and started to change out of his clothes and into a blues.

"Good. I'll wait for you by the front desk."

"I'll be right there." He sighed as soon as the door closed behind him. He really missed going upstairs and the work that they did. He finished changing, slipping into his vest and heading up front. He walked to get his daily dose of Platt and he bumped into someone as he tied the bottom left of his vest. "Sorry man."

"Not used to putting that on, on the go huh?" He recognized the voice and looked up to the owner of the voice.

"It's been a while." He agreed with a chuckle.

"How's miss Joy?" It had been a few days since they had seen Jay.

"Looking forward to Sunday's brunch with uncle Jay and uncle Kev, bummed Tonio can't be there though." Barnes looked up as Adam spoke to Jay and he simply listened quietly while he waited.

"Looking forward to it too. I've got a little something for her."

"You gotta stop doing that Jay, she's only going to expect loot from you every time she sees you."

"Now's not the time to make this more than it is Ruz." He clapped on his shoulder and moved to Platt as Al made his stealthy entrance.

"I miss you up there kid." Al gave him a lopsided grin, patting his cheek.

"Miss you guys too."

"How's she doing?"

"Better than me it seems. I'm trying really hard to get back to normal."

"You'll get there." Al promised. "We're there for the two of you. Being back down here doesn't make you any less family."

"I know, thanks Al." In a rare show of affection, Al pulled Adam into him for a hug.

"You're doing good kid." Adam gave him a genuine smile. "Who's your new partner?" Al pointed to the officer leaning against the front desk.

"Jim Barnes, meet Alvin Olinsky. I learned everything I know from this guy."

"It's an honour Detective." They shook hands. "Hoping I can have half of your career and I'd be golden."

"It takes a lot of work."

"I'll keep at it. You trained one hell of a partner though so thanks."

"Anytime." Al smiled at Adam. "Time to go up, keep your nose out of trouble Ruzek."

"I'll try." Adam chuckled. Keeping his nose out of trouble was not what he was known for. "You be careful up there."

"Always am." Adam was sure Al had more than nine lives, but he hated not being able to back him up like he used to. "You'll have to come over with Mackenzie, Meredith would love to have you guys."

"I'll keep you posted." Al nodded and he and Jay made their way to the bullpen. "Come on, the streets of Chicago won't keep themselves safe." His partner nodded and followed him out.

"Close group that unit."

"They're family." He smiled to himself as he took shotgun today. "I'm lucky to have them." He mused. Today still wasn't the day for him to spill his secrets and it would probably take a while before that happened still.

"That's good." Barnes looked at Adam but didn't say more.

"You got a girl Barnes? Kids?" Adam changed the subject, wanting to know a bit more about his partner.

"A girl no but I have a son, Riley, he's seven and he's the best thing that ever happened to me. I got split custody of him."

"My daughter is six, changed my whole world."

"Could be fun to get them together some day."

"We'll have to see what we can set up." Adam smiled at him. He knew that Mackenzie would like a new friend and it would give her another reason to have her thoughts occupied.

They were treated with another slow day and Adam was longing for a case like Intelligence got on a daily basis. Barnes could see that Adam was jittery, ready to get on some action.

"This is Chicago, something is bound to jump up." As if on cue, they were called to a domestic disturbance. "Told you." He smirked.

"Looks like I got my wish." Following the domestic disturbance, they were called as back-up in a youth center where a brawl had started between four young basketball players. They got a small break by the time lunch came around, but they barely had time to finish their lunch before they were called to a squabble between two neighbours.

"Still wish something would jump?" Barnes chuckled as they left the scene.

"I'm used to days like this, keeps the job interesting."

"I'll give you that. It definitely keeps us on our toes." Barnes got behind the wheel. The rest of the afternoon was as uneventful as the beginning of the day but one hour before they were scheduled back at the district, their radio crackled to life, calling them to a multi vehicle accident. "You ready?"

"Always ready." The drive was short but as soon as they got out of the car, Adam was hit by a serious déjà vu.

"Hey, you okay Ruzek?" Barnes quickly noticed that Adam was frozen in his spot.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good." He took a deep breath and got his head back into the game. They walked towards the firefighters that were on the scene. "Where do you need us?" Adam asked them.

"Ruzek, good to see you." Severide asked him.

"Good to see you too. What do we have?"

"Minivan rammed on the driver's side. The other driving is high on something."

"Got it, we'll take care of him." Adam motioned for Barnes to follow him and Adam made his way to the front of the wreck. He eyed the mini-van and Squad working on getting the door opened but when he looked in the front seat of the van, he had to do a double take and air immediately left his lungs. The woman had long blonde hair and her head was knocked against the steering wheel.

"Ruzek, buddy, you okay there?" Barnes asked him. Something about the scene was spooking him. "Ruzek?" Adam suddenly started having trouble breathing and couldn't catch his breath. "I need a medic here." Barnes yelled and both paramedics from the house was there, setting Adam on a gurney, removing his bulletproof vest and putting an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. "I'll be right back." Adam nodded and the paramedics promised they'd take care of Adam while Barnes went to the other car where the young driver he found had alcohol on his breath and clearly he had taken drugs of some kind. He was easily removed from the car and his injuries assessed before he was put in the back of their cruiser. Barnes returned to Adam to see how he was doing.

"He's good to go." The paramedic that read Brett on her coat said. "I suspect it was a panic attack."

"I'm fine Sylvie." He insisted, taking his vest and standing on his two feet.

"Just take it easy please."

"I will."

"Keep an eye on him until the end of shift." Sylvie asked Barnes.

"Will do." Adam gave Sylvie a smile and returned to the cruiser and they drove towards the district. They got the young man booked and they both returned to the front desk to hand over their keys and radio.

"Daddy." Adam turned and was surprised by Mackenzie flying in his arms.

"What are you doing here baby?"

"We're supposed to have dinner together daddy." He closed his eyes. He had totally forgotten about dinner with her and when he opened his eyes, he saw Kevin come down the stairs from the bullpen. When their eyes met, Kevin knew something had gone wrong today.

"How about you and me go for some dinner, let daddy go take a few drinks with his partner?" Kevin asked her.

"Uncle Kevin." She squealed, wiggling out of her dad's arms.

"Kenzie Joy." He hoisted her in his arms. What do you say?"

"Is it okay with you daddy?"

"Absolutely. I'll come pick you up later okay?"

"Okay daddy."

"Perfect, let's get going." Adam mouthed a thank you to Kevin and turned to face Barnes.

"Dinner and drinks at Molly's on me."

"Sure." Barnes nodded and the two of them changed out and headed separately to Molly's. Adam found a booth in the back and ordered two beers and a couple of burgers while he waited for Barnes that appeared only minutes later. "First time I come here." He commented as he sat down.

"Great place. Run by a few firefighters from 51."

"Even better. Listen Adam about today." He started but Adam cut him.

"I owe you an explanation." If he wanted their partnership to work, he needed to be honest so he needed to tell his story.

"You don't." He insisted. "I got your back."

"Actually, I do so I need to tell you about why I'm back on patrol and no longer working under Sargent Voight in Intelligence."

"Alright." Barnes couldn't argue with him. If he needed to take it off of his chest, he would let him.

Adam took a long pull of his beer and took a deep breath before he started spilling his guts to Barnes.

"We were working this case. They had taken three tender aged girls and we had done a bust, saving the three but we weren't able to take their whole operation off the board. We worked for days and still we hadn't gotten anywhere close to cracking it wide open." He took another pull of his beer and got lost in thought as he played with the label of his bottle. "We knew that it was only a matter of time before it all went south. "Then I got a call over the radio when we got a break. That call would change everything."

"What kind of call?" He hated having to ask the question, but something told him that Adam needed to get it out.

"My wife had been in a car accident." He exhaled. "When we got there, Firehouse 51 was already on the scene and there were cop cars forming a perimeter around the crash. I pushed through all of them and I laid eyes on her." Tears were clouding his vision. "I can remember the small of blood and her limp body, blood everywhere. The fire that had originated under the hood was out and they were pulling her from the car and I all but lost it. I started compressions as soon as she had been set on the gurney and I couldn't understand why they wouldn't do anything to help her, but she was dead on impact." He ran the back of his hand against his eyes, tears now spilling out. "I was so out of my mind with grief that it took both Lieutenants from 51 to pull me away from her. Mackenzie, our daughter, was in the back seat and she was hurt, and she was crying. She needed medical attention and I could barely do anything for her. They wheeled her to Med to get checked out. They had to keep her a few hours for observation, and they had a police detail to her room, which I was thankful for."

"It's a good thing you were there for her though."

"Except I wasn't." He downed the rest of his beer and ordered a whiskey neat that he downed as soon as it was set in front of him. "As soon as she was settled, the cop part of me took over and I was out of Med before anyone could stop me. I knew where the team was headed, and I wanted it done with, so I drove there and went in."

"Please tell me you weren't stupid enough to go in there without back-up."

"Without back-up, without a vest. I only had my gun. I stormed in there before the team could back me up and I got hit with two GSW to the chest. Left lung collapsed and I was taken to Med where a trauma surgeon had to open me up. I coded twice on the table and almost left my daughter orphaned that day." Anger rose to his chest now when he thought about it, but he was working hard to get back to normal. "I'm lucky to even be sitting here, grabbing a drink with you." He only had to open the top two buttons of his shirt for Barnes to catch a glimpse of the scar on Adam's chest, the two bullet holes not visible.

"I'm glad that you're here and thank you for trusting me with your story. I've got your back if you need anything."

"Thanks." He raised his new filled glass. "I think this is going to be one hell of a partnership."

"I'll drink to that." Barnes chuckled and they kept talking while they drank.

"I'm going to call it a night, gotta pick Mackenzie from Atwater's." Adam slipped his hand in his pocket for some cash, but Barnes stopped him.

"Tonight's on me, don't sweat it."

"Thanks." Adam nodded. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Bright and early"

"Night." Adam walked through the crowd at Molly's and headed to Kevin's place. The lights were dinned so he knew the whole brood was asleep so he knocked not to wake anyone.

"Hey brother, she's asleep on the couch." Kevin let him in.

"Coming here always tires her out." He chuckled. "She and Carley feed off each other's energy."

"She needs that right now."

"I know. Thanks a lot for looking after her tonight." He was leaning against the living room doorframe.

"Anytime, glad I can help. Are you okay Adam?"

"Tired but I'm good, getting there at least. Today was a setback for sure."

"You need something, say the word."

"Promise I will." He walked into the living room and kneeled down next to the couch. "Kenzie, baby." He shook her lightly.

"Is it time to go home?"

"Yeah." She wrapped her arms around Adam's neck. He scooped up and Adam settled her against his hip.

"Thank you, uncle Kevin." She leaned her head against her dad's shoulder.

"My pleasure miss Kenzie Joy." He kissed her forehead. "Be good for your daddy and I'll see you at brunch on Sunday." She nodded and fell back asleep.

"I'll catch you this week-end." They shared a modified version of their handshake and Adam brought his daughter home. He didn't even bother to change her out of his clothes when he put her into bed. He went back downstairs and grabbed himself a beer before heading for his back porch. He sat in her favourite chair and took a pull of the amber liquid.

"Today was rough." Adam said into the night. "It was just so vivid." He leaned his head against the back of the chair. "It's so hard without you baby." He took another pull of his beer. "Please give me a sign that it'll be okay." He leaned his elbows on his legs while he finished his beer. He was met with more silence and he knew that he was alone, so he downed the rest of his beer and went to bed. He'd have to schedule himself a session with his counselor, so he kept that in mind as he went to bed, hoping that the night would give him a little bit more clarity.

A/N: So Adam had a moment that left him paralyzed on the job but his partner got his back and he finally confided in him about his life altering injury. He's in need of something to make him turn a real corner but how long will he have to wait for it? I really hope you liked this chapter and please take a few seconds to review before you go, your thoughts mean the world to me. - Sarra