I forgot to mention that I had to take this training back in February and the plot bunnies were hopping afterward. Sadly enough, I didn't get paired with anyone who looks like Edward lollll
Tinkering was had! Thanks to my gals for their help. And thanks for reading, y'all.
2
The moment we're given a five-minute break, I leave the conference room to use the bathroom.
I don't actually need to use it, though. I just need a minute away from Cullen. Need to get my head straight before we start the hands-on portion of this training. Because if my body reacted to him that way over such small contact, what the fuck is going to happen when he's full-on touching me?
I breathe.
Rose walks into the bathroom, and it startles me.
She laughs when I jump and asks, "Jesus, what?"
I wait for her to walk into a stall and start peeing.
"Cullen kissed me."
My voice echoes off the tile.
"What?" she blurts. "When?"
I stare at myself in the mirror. "When we were out last weekend."
"Spill, girl."
"We were standing outside, sharing a cigarette. Everyone else had gone back inside the bar, and it was just us, and…"
The toilet flushes, and she walks out to wash her hands, a wide grin on her face.
Instead of passing me the cigarette at one point, he held it to my lips. With his eyes on my mouth, I inhaled. Exhaled. The moment the smoke disappeared into the night air, his lips crashed with mine.
"He kissed me," I admit. "Of course, I kissed him back."
I'd fisted his shirt, and I think I moaned, too.
Rose dries her hands. "Was it good?"
It was the best.
Like all of our flirting and sexual tension finally had an outlet.
But one kiss wasn't enough, and I knew that.
I scoff. "Look at him, Rose! Of course, it was good. The guy was born to kiss," I reply, sounding entirely too wound up over him. "Fucker," I add as an afterthought.
Rose laughs. "What's the problem?"
I give her a look. "He has a girlfriend."
"Oh, right." She seems conflicted now. "But she's hardly ever around. And he rarely talks about her."
"That's not true. You probably just don't pay attention when she comes up because you're not as aware of him as I am."
Again, I realize how far gone I sound.
It's pitiful, really.
I list off everything I know about his girlfriend, Charlotte. She's twenty-five, one year older than us. She works in advertising, too, but for a different company and not in the creative department like we do. They met through family friends three months ago at some barbeque he attended out of boredom because I was out of town.
"Wait. You, like, actually like him?" Rose asks, as if she's just now catching on.
I want to stomp my foot. "Yes!"
"Aw, Bella. I just thought you wanted to fuck the guy," she says, her words crass but tone sweet. "Why don't you tell him how you feel?"
"Because I'm not a homewrecker? I don't know. And there's a fraternization policy in place."
"So? That didn't stop me and Emmett. Also, Cullen's not your boss, and you're not his. Problem solved."
Angela walks into the bathroom then, so Rose and I shut up.
When we walk out, Cullen and Emmett are lingering in the hallway, talking. Their conversation abruptly ends when they see us.
"Gossiping about us again?" I joke, holding Cullen's green gaze.
He smirks. "You wish."
When I pass by him, he pulls my hood up over my head. I scoff, pulling it off and pushing at his hard stomach before knocking off his hat so it falls to the floor.
Rose rolls her eyes and keeps walking. "Save the altercations for the training, children."
When we walk back into the conference room, the chairs are stacked in the corner, so we can all spread out.
"Okay, everyone. Partner up," Peter instructs.
Rose stares expectantly at me.
"What?" I ask.
"We're partners."
"Sorry, Rose, she's with me," Cullen tells her, hooking an arm around my shoulder.
He smells so fucking good, but I shove him away.
"Finally staking your claim?" Rose provokes.
Cullen looks at her strangely, and I just discreetly shake my head, mentally willing her to shut the hell up.
Peter announces once more to find someone to work with.
We glance around. Everyone else has naturally paired off, leaving just Emmett.
He waves at Rose, and I can tell from his face that he's eating this up.
"I'm not going to be with him," Rose snips.
The instructor comes over.
"I do suggest challenging yourselves to be with someone who isn't similar in size," Peter says, indicating Emmett is the perfect partner for Rose.
She groans.
"Don't get any fucking ideas," she mutters to Emmett, who merely holds up his hands in defense.
"All right. We'll get started with the first few disengagement skills," Peter begins. "Please stand across from your partner." He gives us all a few seconds to spread out a little more. "The purpose of disengagement is to keep yourself and others safe from injury when you are confronted with risky behavior. Don't forget the key principles—position, posture, and proximity."
My eyes drift to Cullen. He raises his brows, and I fight a smile.
"We'll start with some simple strikes. Decide which one of you wants to begin, and that person will pretend to strike while the other dodges it. Then switch, and the person who was striking will do the dodging."
"You want to pretend to punch me first, Swan?"
I smile. "It would be my pleasure."
"Oh, I'm sure it will be your pleasure." He says it low and teasing. Just for me to hear. I throw a jab next to his smug face. He moves away just in time. "Jesus. You're lethal, Swan."
I grin. "Don't worry. I won't actually mess up your handsome face."
He dodges my jab once more, smiling widely. "You think I'm handsome?"
Another jab.
I ignore him.
After a few more practice runs, we switch.
Peter walks around, assessing all of us.
"Great." He claps his hands together. "Let's practice if someone were to grab hold of your clothing. Remember, whoever is being grabbed first, you're going to use the push/pull method that we saw in the videos to remove the person's hand from your clothing." I blank because my attention was fucked during the videos, but I decide to just go with it.
"Come at me," Cullen taunts.
I step closer and fist his shirt, purposefully letting my fingers brush his hard body underneath the cotton. He places one hand on my wrist, while the other tries to disengage my grip. I hold on for dear life, not wanting to let go.
"Damn, Swan." He struggles a little. "You really got a hold on me."
His stupid sexy smile distracts me, and he's able to release my grip.
When it's his turn to grab hold of my clothing, he hesitates. With his hands on his waist, he assesses me.
"You're barely wearing anything. What am I supposed to grab?"
"Oh, fuck off!" I hiss, laughing.
He laughs, too, but it's breathy, and a little nervous. Removing his hat, he runs a hand through his hair before sliding it back over his head.
"Come at me," I say, repeating his words.
He steps forward and reaches for the shoulder of my sweatshirt. He's right, I guess, since my hoodie is cropped and fitted, there isn't much extra material to grab. Which means when he bunches the material in his fist, the hem of it rises and shows off some of my skin.
His eyes immediately dart to my exposed torso, which gives me an advantage because I'm able to grab his wrist and disengage his hold.
"Goddammit," he mutters while I smile triumphantly.
"Good job," Peter says to the group. "Does everyone feel ready to move on to the next disengagement?" We all murmur our agreement. "Next we will focus on biting."
Peter keeps speaking, but Cullen looks at me.
"Do you bite, Bella?"
His words are laced with lust, and it makes arousal creep in.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Maybe I do," he says too quietly, his throat bobbing with a swallow.
I pretend like I didn't hear that, or the softness in his tone.
Everyone starts to practice the next disengagement. Cullen and I watch for a second because we completely missed what we were supposed to do. Most are pretending to bite people's arms, which is more appropriate than what I was going to go for—his fucking neck.
"All right. Bite me," he says, a twinkle in his eyes.
I lean over and grab his forearm, my face near his bicep as I pretend to bite.
I mean, it's tempting to actually put my teeth on him. Just a little graze wouldn't hurt. I open my mouth and let my teeth touch his warm skin. He hisses, bringing his large hand to the back of my head.
He doesn't try to pull me off right away though. He lets me linger there.
"By now I would've ripped through your tendons, Cullen," I mumble, my lips brushing his arm as I speak.
I can feel his body shake with soft laughter, and then he gently pulls me back, so I'm standing straight.
"You don't play fair," he murmurs, wiping his arm on his shirt.
I just smile because neither does he. "Your turn."
He leans over and dips his head, burying his face in the crook of my elbow.
"That's the weirdest place to bite someone," I criticize.
He straightens, scowling. "I can bite you where I want."
"That's where you want to bite me?" I taunt.
He laughs dryly, swallowing again. "Fucking… killing me, Swan."
I don't get a chance to respond before he grabs my arm and leans over, his face near my bicep. Which means he's close to my boob.
Peter comes over to us then, waiting for me to disengage Cullen.
"Umm… I forgot what exactly I'm supposed to do," I fumble, my mind is going fucking haywire.
"First, remove his hat. That will make this easier," Peter instructs. With Cullen's face still close to me, I take off his hat and let it drop to the floor. "Okay, so if he was biting you, what you'd want to do is take your left hand and place it on the back of his head, making sure the length of your arm is down his back."
I try to do what he said, my fingers brushing the back of his hair, but Cullen is too tall for my forearm to be in the right position.
"Bend your knees a little," Peter tells Cullen, so we're closer to the same height. "Now that your arm is in the correct position, you'll want to push him closer to you."
"Closer?" I blurt. I don't know if closer is possible… or safe.
"Yes. Pulling away is not ideal, and it can hurt you more. But if someone were actually biting you, pushing them closer to your body would make them uncomfortable, and they would likely let go on their own."
"I dunno, I'm pretty damn comfortable," Cullen mumbles, but thankfully, only I hear him.
"Shut up." I laugh and push Cullen's head even closer to me, and I swear the fucker angles his head a bit so his warm breath is on the side of my fucking boob. Meaning his mouth is right fucking there.
My pulse quickens at the sensation, and it sends a shock to my core.
"Great," Peter says. "Now that you've pushed him closer, you should have the ability to pull him away."
I do as Peter says, and Cullen straightens as we break apart, scrubbing a hand over his mouth, hiding a smirk.
"Good job, you two. You're naturals."
Peter walks away, and I bend over to grab Cullen's hat.
"You don't play fair, either," I accuse, and he just fucking grins.
When I hand him his hat, I don't let go right away. He tugs on it harder, bringing me with it. I stumble toward him, but he catches me, a hand lingering on my waist before he lets go.
"I think we're ready to move onto the next disengagement," Peter says aloud. "How to safely remove yourself while being strangled."
"This training is kinky as hell," Emmett says loudly, and everyone laughs.
"It's all very appropriate, I assure you," Peter counters. He was the only one who didn't find Em's comment funny.
"Em's not wrong," Cullen whispers in my ear.
"What—is erotic asphyxiation something you and Charlotte are into?" I blurt, just loud enough for him to hear.
He looks scandalized for a second. Shocked. Like me mentioning his girlfriend just put a damper on our playful moment.
I guess it did. Because no matter how much we flirt, it's an unspoken rule that we never mention the elephant in the room. That he's taken. That he belongs to someone else. But being with him this way—being physical and touching him more than I ever have—has just confirmed how much I do fucking want him.
It just confirms how much I hate that he's not mine.