The remainder of the day, Zuko and Elyrie talked no more than was absolutely necessary. Whenever one of them was in the cabin – which, of course, was only made up of one room - the other seemed to have haste to find food, water, or even feed Zuko's ostrich-horse that returned. Both of them knew that the other was avoiding them, but neither felt the need to initiate the conversation.
Now that they were both convinced that Uncle was going to make it, there was a tension between that was so thick, they could cut it with a knife.
Elyrie was too nervous to start talking, since it was never established that Zuko was planning to stay with them. For the first time since she they had reunited– or for the first time ever, now that she thought about it – she didn't know what to say to him.
He doesn't have the luxury you have. You knew, despite everything, that you were loved.
Uncle had explained it to her and for weeks, she had waited for the moment Zuko would reappear again, so she could comfort him and assure him that he was loved. That he would never be alone in the world, that there were people that cared for him. That she cared for him.
And she had no idea how to do that.
All those years, they had simply been together and that seemed enough. They were friends and always found each other when one of them had a problem. It happened after five years of being apart. Even as refugees, she had the idea that she showed her love and concern, only Zuko never picked up on it apparently. So what was she to do? Just straight out tell him? That didn't sound like her at all. There were moments she did, but she wasn't the type to flat out tell someone she cared for them. If she did that now, Zuko would only be freaked out.
Just like I would be, she said to herself.
Besides, she might care for him but that didn't mean she had forgiven him for just leaving them when things were hard. The fact that he almost attacked Katara for wanting to help Uncle only fuelled her frustration with his selfishness. Yes, she knew he was confused and he was hurt, but why should she take his feelings into consideration when he so clearly disregarded hers?
As the night fell, she decided that everything would look better in the morning. She lit the few candles in the cabin for light as she checked on Uncle the last time. If Zuko wants to talk, he'll talk, she told herself as she wetted a cloth and wrung it out again. With a careful touch, she wiped away the sweat from Uncle's brow.
As for Zuko, he had been struggling with his words as well. He had never been a man who enjoyed chitchat, or talking at all for that matter. But with Elyrie, conversation had always been easy. Her cheerfulness and fast chatter was enough for him to join. The fact that Elyrie wasn't the one to initiate the conversation made it all the more difficult.
Now that night had fallen – and that they had enough food or water to last three weeks -, Zuko couldn't do anything beside watching how Elyrie nursed Uncle Iroh.
Leaning against the wall on the other side of the cabin, he looked at the girl. She was thinner than he had ever seen her. He could see her collarbones moving under the wide shirt. It had been a bit too large when she first wore it, but now it looked as if she was drowning in the clothing. While the light had dimmed now, in the sunlight her face seemed flushed as the red colour spread across her cheeks and nose. She had been sunburned, but unsurprisingly her skin was just as fair as always. It was as if her skin just refused to tan.
Elyrie wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. As she did this, she felt the roughness of sand and dust that left a fine layer on her skin. She sighed as she let her other hand go through the knots in her hair. After the long day, she hadn't taken the time to bathe or even so much as wash her face. She threw her head back to assemble her loose hair and tied it together in a small bun in her neck.
Zuko let his own hand go through his hair when he saw her do that. Just like his hair had grown, so had hers. It was hanging past her shoulders now. The front locks were still too short to put in a bun, so they hang loose around her face. The dust from the battle was still stuck in her hair, which made it look dull instead of her usual shiny hair.
Without all the soaps, oils and make up she normally used, he now saw how the past weeks had taken a toll on her. Her hair was tangled, her skin red and burnt and her nails were broken. The day had been long for her as well, because he saw the dark circles under her normally vibrant eyes. If even she looked like this, he wouldn't even want to know how he looked.
Elyrie's vision became blurry with exhaustion. She rubbed her eyes, which were itchy and bloodshot. She felt dirty and tired. In one day, she was captured, paralysed, saved from a psychopath, whom she had fought and now she to take care of a wounded older man and a broody younger man. Enough is enough, she decided.
"I can't stay awake for much longer." she said, her voice breaking the silence that was hanging thickly in the air. Zuko looked up in surprise, but nodded to her.
"Sleep then." he answered in a voice that was rough from the dust as he saw her wipe her forehead again. She gave him a half smile before she folded her arm under her head and laid down on her side on the wooden floor. She pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes.
Zuko said nothing as he saw that sleep took over her in less than minute. Her steady breathing was soft, but it was the only sound to break the silence of the night.
"We can't stay here forever." Zuko mumbled as he saw his Uncle stir in his slumber. The cabin was so old that it didn't even have a proper door. Instead, it had a gaping hole in the wall which functioned as a door. The rotten wood and damaged roof would not offer much shelter if the weather decided to change, but for now it worked.
Hoping he didn't wake up, Zuko followed Elyrie's example and wiped the sweat from his Uncle's forehead. He placed a new cloth on his Uncle's forehead so he would at least be a bit cooler for the remainder of the night.
When he was sure both Uncle and Elyrie were asleep, he allowed himself to lie down on the hard floor and closed his eyes.
He didn't fall asleep as fast as Elyrie. Instead, he thought about Azula and her threats. About her frightening skill and her precision. He finally dozed off when sleep took over, but not because his mind was at peace.
He might have dreamed about the day's events when he woke up in cold sweat, but he couldn't remember anything. Through the holes in the wall, small patches of sunlight peaked through to signal the start of a new day.
Zuko went out to gathered some plants and leaves for tea. When he returned, he saw that they were still asleep, so he started brewing the tea in silence. He did his best to remember his Uncle's lessons, so the tea would be to his liking.
Surprisingly, Elyrie woke not long after he'd returned. She opened her eyes and he greeted her with a swift nod, but did not miss the look of surprise in her eyes.
"I found this for his skin?" Zuko suggested as he saw Elyrie's eyes move to Uncle's sleeping figure. He showed her the plant he had found that morning when he was searching for herbs to put in the tea.
Elyrie took the thick leaves and saw that It were the leaves of an aloe vera plant. "Yes, that is perfect for him." She answered since it was indeed what they needed to soothe Uncle's burnt skin.
"And for you?" Zuko said as he pointed to her face. Elyrie's hand flew to her face and softly touched the skin on her cheeks. It was hot to the touch and she felt the glowing. She sighed when she felt her skin protest against the movements.
"Thank you." she said as she took the knife to cut out the gel-like substance and carefully applied it to her skin. The freshening coolness of the plant made her immediately feel better. If she was to stay out of the sun for a couple days, she was sure her skin would heal properly.
Zuko watched how she let out a sigh of relief when the cool substance coated her skin. Her blue eyes met his and her lips parted in a smile. Zuko opened his mouth and just as he was about to say something – anything – to her, a small moan broke the silence.
"Uncle?" Zuko said as he bowed over Iroh. His voice was filled with concern and his look softened when he took the wet cloth from his head.
Elyrie and Zuko both let out a sigh of relief when the amber-coloured eyes of Iroh opened at last.
"Uncle," Zuko said again as Iroh pushed himself up, "You were unconscious. Azula did this to you: it was a surprise attack."
"Somehow, that is not so surprising." Iroh groaned, his voice hoarse. He grasped his chest in pain, but was surprised when he saw he was wrapped in bandages.
"Don't touch it!" Elyrie said as she gently grabbed his wrist, "The skin still needs to heal."
"Only the skin?" Iroh asked her with a frown. He doubted that Azula's attack had been that light. Elyrie nodded and shot him a knowing look as her fingers subtly went to her lower arm. With her slender finger, she followed the line of her veins.
Iroh furred his brow, but then he suddenly understood: the arm that the young waterbender had healed on the North Pole when she had been wounded. So the waterbender had healed him as well.
Elyrie lightly shook her head to signal that he shouldn't ask more and Iroh nodded.
"I hope I made it the way you like it." Zuko said as he handed his Uncle a cup of tea, oblivious to the silent conversation between Iroh and Elyrie.
Elyrie took the other cup as she watched Uncle take his first sip. His eyes immediately widened and he masked his cry of disgust.
"Good." Iroh grimaced as he swallowed down the bitter moisture, "It is very, ehm, bracing."
Elyrie said nothing as she smoothly put her cup aside. Uncle's look was enough to make her courage falter to take a sip from whatever it was Zuko had made.
"So Uncle, I've been thinking." Zuko continued as he poured another cup of tea and handed it to Iroh. Elyrie stifled a laugh when she saw Uncle throwing it over his shoulder.
"It's only a matter of time before I run into Azula again." Zuko hadn't noticed it. "I'm going to need to know more advanced firebending if I want to stand a chance against her. And I know what you're going to say:" Zuko waved his hands dismissively as if he wanted to counter that point, "that she's my sister and I should be trying to get along with her."
"No. She is crazy and she needs to go down." Iroh said, and now Elyrie let out an actual laugh. Both men turned to her, one with a smile and the other with a frown. "I couldn't agree more." She said with a mischievous look in her eyes.
"Then it is time to resume your training." Iroh said as he stood up, suppressing the moans of pain as he looked at the two firebenders in front of him. "For both of you."
An hour later, both Zuko and Elyrie sat cross-legged across Iroh. He had brewed a new pot of tea – which was much needed before they began their practice.
"Lightening is a pure expression of firebending." Iroh began as he poured the tea, "without aggression." He emphasized the last word as he looked at his nephew. "It is not fueled by rage or emotion the way other firebending is. Some call lightening the 'cold-blooded fire'. It is precise and deadly, like Azula."
He handed Elyrie the first cup as he continued: "To perform the technique requires peace of mind."
"I see." Zuko said while taking the other cup, "That's why we're drinking tea - to calm the mind."
"Oh yeah, good point!" Iroh responded jovially. Elyrie let out a small chuckle as he retook himself, "I mean, yes."
They drank their tea in silence, trying to achieve the peace of mind Uncle had instructed.
"Are you ready to try?" Iroh asked Zuko when he put his empty cup down. "Yes." He answered immediately.
"As for you," Uncle turned to Elyrie, "Do you want to learn it? Since you only started properly practicing a few months ago?"
"I want to try." She said, her tone firm.
"Then follow me." Iroh said while standing up, "Because we are going to need some space for this."
At the top of the hill, he stopped as he looked over the destroyed town in the valley. This was an excellent spot to practice: the open air and empty space were all a beginning bender could wish for.
"There is energy all around us," Iroh began his lesson as he placed his palms together, "The energy is both yin and yang." He held up to fingers to signal the difference between the two. "Positive and negative energy. Only a select few firebenders can separate these energies."
"It has been reserved mostly for the inner circles of Fire Nation royalty and high-ranking officers, correct?" Elyrie asked curiously.
"Indeed." Iroh nodded, "It is incredibly difficult to separate the energies because it creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance and in the moment the positive and negative energy come crashing back together," he clasped his hands together to signal it, "You provide release and guidance, creating lightning."
Iroh motioned for the two to step back as he prepared for lightening generation. Letting the energy flow throughout his arms, he circled his arms in a steady circular motion. The sparks flew almost immediately from his stretched fingers, before he shot a lighting bolt in the open sky.
"I am ready to try it!" Zuko said eagerly as he watched the power release from his Uncle's fingertips.
"Remember," Iroh said, "Once you separate the energy, you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide."
Zuko mimicked the motions his Uncle showed and tried to generate lighting. He tensed his muscles as he felt the energy flow through his body. He exhaled and stretched his fingers, but instead of a lighting bolt, an explosion launched him back with immense power.
"You okay?" Elyrie asked Zuko when the black smoke had disappeared. He had blasted himself back at least three metres and fell hard on his back.
"I am fine." Zuko grunted as he pushed himself back up. He looked more embarrassed than anything else, so Elyrie returned her attention to Uncle.
"Elyrie, try it." Iroh instructed her as he took a few steps back.
Elyrie inhaled deeply as she placed her palms against each other. She focussed on the energy flow in her body. No emotion, she repeated in her head as she exhaled. She made the circular motions Uncle showed and stretched her arm, aiming her middle and index finger.
If she expected a big lightening bolt, she was sourly disappointed. But at the same time, it wasn't the explosion Zuko created. What she created was… nothing actually. All she managed to generate were two faint sparks from her fingers.
She pulled her hand back to study her fingers in disbelief. "That's it?" she asked incredulously. She had seen bigger sparks when she had created static electricity as a child.
This is going to take a lot of work, Iroh thought as he both of them instructed to try again. But neither of them seemed to improve.
After the fiftieth attempt, Zuko let out a frustrated cry.
"Why can't I do it?!" He yelled, "Instead of lightening it keeps exploding in my face. Like everything always does."
Elyrie didn't say anything. While her attempts could be called miserable at best, at least she wasn't knocked over every time she tried it. Then again, nothing happened when she tried it.
"I was afraid this might happen." Uncle said to Zuko, "You will not be able to master lightening until you have dealt with the turmoil inside you."
"What turmoil?!" Zuko snapped.
"Zuko," Iroh said patiently, "You must let go of your feelings of shame if you want your anger to go away."
"But I don't feel any shame at all." Zuko answered, his voice now calmer, 'I'm as proud as ever."
"Prince Zuko," Iroh said again, purposefully using his title, "Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame."
"Wel, my life has been nothing but humbling lately." Zuko answered in a voice that was barely louder than a whisper.
"As for you," Iroh moved his gaze to Elyrie, "You can only succeed if you let yourself be open to it."
"But I am open-," she began her protest, but Iroh cut her off by raising his hand.
"I can only tell you where to look, I can't tell what you need to see."
Ah proverbs, Elyrie mused as she lowered her hands, as clear as ever.
The disappointed looks on both their faces made Iroh feel a bit guilty. "I have another idea." He said, "I will teach you a firebending move that even Azula doesn't know, because I made it up myself."
"What is it?" Elyrie asked as Iroh motioned for them to sit down in front of him.
"Let me show you something." Iroh said cryptically as he took a stick from the ground.
"Fire is the element of power." He began as he started drawing the familiar insignia of firebending in the sand, "The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy to drive and achieve what they want."
He paused for a moment before he moved his stick above the firebending insignia and started drawing the angular symbol of earthbending. "Earth is the element of substance," he continued, "The people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse and strong. They are persistent and enduring."
He moved the stick to the left of the firebending insignia and formed the circular symbols of the airbending insignia. "Air is the element of freedom." He explained as he finished the third symbol, "The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and found peace and freedom. Also, they apparently had pretty good sense of humour!"
He saw a smile tug at Elyrie's lips, but Zuko didn't react at all. He shook his head as he finished the final element. "Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribe are capable of adapting to many thing. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything."
Elyrie felt a sting in her chest when Uncle said that and missed her newfound family even more. One day, I can return, she told herself as she started turning her ring around her finger.
"Why are you telling us these things?" Zuko asked as he stared at the four emblems in the sand.
"It is important to draw wisdom from many different places." Iroh explained, "If you take it only from one place, it becomes rigid and stale." To strengthen his words, he divided the four insignias into separate sections. "Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole." He finished as he drew a circle around all four elements, combining them as one.
"All this four elements talk is sounding like Avatar stuff." Zuko grumbled impatiently.
"It is the combination of the four elements in one person that makes the Avatar so powerful." Iroh answered, ""But it can make you more powerful too. Elyrie?" Uncle said as he moved his stick to the sitting girl, "Would you please demonstrate?"
Elyrie shot him a puzzled look. She had been paying attention, but what did she need to demonstrate? Zuko was far better in firebending than she had ever been.
"But I don't-," she began uncertain. "Just humour me." Uncle said with a wink as he extended his hand to her to lift her up.
"Now," he said as she took her stance, "Block my attack."
"Uncle, I really don't know-," she tried again. She had no idea what he wanted to see from her.
"Don't worry," Iroh answered in a reassuring tone, "Just follow your instinct."
She sighed and retook her stance. Iroh aimed a fireblast at her and she bended the fire around herself in a circular motion, creating the circle of flames around her as she shot the fireblast back to him in small forms.
"Exactly!" Uncle cried out as she extinguished the ring of flames, "That is what I meant!"
"I don't understand?" Elyrie said again and she looked at Zuko for reassurance. He shook his head, signalling he didn't understand what his Uncle meant either.
"Dear," Iroh elaborated as he saw her confused face, "What you just showed us was no ordinary firebending form. The main disadvantage for firebenders is that we depend too much on attack instead of defence. Waterbending is the opposite with more defensive methods. You redirected the flames as your defence and used it as your own offence, like a waterbender would. Your defence is better than most firebenders, precisely because you studied the waterbending techniques. And the technique I am about to teach you, is one I learned by studying waterbenders as well."
"Ah, I see." Elyrie nodded enthusiastically as she finally grasped the concept. She also felt just a tiny bit proud he praised her like that.
"Like Elyrie showed, a waterbender lets their defence become their offence, turning their opponents' energy against them." Iroh said to Zuko, "I learned a way to do this with lightning."
"You can teach me to redirect lighting?" Zuko asked.
"That's what you did with Azula!" Elyrie said, remembering how Uncle had moved the lightening away from them, "And during the storm!"
"You have an excellent memory." Iroh praised her before he he lined out out the path of the energy, "If you let the energy in your own body flow, the lighting will follow it. You must create a pathway from your fingertips, up your arm to your shoulder, then down into your stomach." His hand followed the path he described. "The stomach is the source of energy in your body; it is called the sea of chi. Only in my case, it is more like a vast ocean." He tapped his rotund belly with a laugh.
"From the stomach, you direct it up again and out the other arm." Iroh continued as he finished the motion, "The stomach detour is critical. You must not let the lightning pass through your heart, or the damage could be deadly." He touched Zuko's chest right where his heart was. Elyrie visible swallowed at the idea, but Zuko didn't even flinch.
"You both may wish to try a physical motion to get a feel for the pathway's flow," Iroh said as he demonstrated the motion, "Like this."
Elyrie and Zuko followed his movements. Down one arm, to the shoulder, into the stomach, out the other arm.
"Now, are you focusing your energy? Can you feel your chi flowing in, down, up, and out?" Iroh asked when they tried it again.
"I think so." Zuko said carefully as he made the motion another time.
In, down, up and out. Elyrie kept repeating it in her head, making her body follow the words.
"Come on," Iroh said as he made extravagant flowing moves with his arms, "You've got to feel the flow."
The two young benders repeated the motions over and over again, until Elyrie was sure she could feel her chi following the path she created.
"Excellent!" Iroh said when he saw them move simultaneously, "You've got it!"
"Great!" Zuko exclaimed, "I'm ready to try with real lightening!"
"What, are you crazy?" Elyrie asked in disbelief.
"Zuko, lightening is very dangerous." Iroh said with raised eyebrows.
"I thought that was the point!" he answered as he shot Elyrie an annoyed look, "Teaching me to protect myself from it!"
"Yeah, but I'm not going to shoot lightening at you!"Iroh yelled, frantically waving his hands in the air, "If you're lucky, you will never have to use this technique at all."
"Well, if you won't help me," Zuko barked as he turned around to untie his ostrich-horse, "I'll find my own lightening." His gaze went to the mountains in the distance, where the sound of thunder rumbled.
Elyrie's jaw dropped when she saw him ride off. Not this again, she wanted to yell after him in her anger. What is it with that man that makes him want to get hurt so badly? Stubborn, selfish, pig-headed… her thoughts trailed off as she turned around to walk back to the cabin.
Iroh reacted quickly, placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "Elyrie, you cannot- " he began before Elyrie interrupted him.
"Don't worry," she answered with a passive gesture of her hand, "I know better than to chase him and convince him to return. If he wants to leave, he can." Her tone was bitter, as was the look in her eyes.
Iroh didn't say anything as she kicked the sand in front of her away, but in her eyes he could read the disappointment, the confusion and most of all: frustration.
For as long as he had known both of them, he had never seen them so distant with each other as this day. Elyrie acted cold and Zuko purposefully avoided to look at her. A lot of the turmoil inside of them would be resolved a lot quicker if they just talked to each other, Iroh mused as he moved his gaze to the retreating figure of his nephew.
Well, maybe hers, he mentally sighed as he watched the first stroke of lightening split the sky in the distance, but his is going to take a lot more than that.
The thunder roared like a ferocious dragon. Lightening split the sky around the top of the mountain, far more powerful than Azula ever could generate. The pouring rain was like a waterfall, cold and unforgiving in its force.
On the top of the mountain, Zuko stood surrounded by all this violence of nature.
"You've always thrown everything you could at me!" he yelled as loud as he could at the dark clouds in the sky, "Well, I can take it, and now I can give it back!"
Lightening struck around him, but not where he was standing. The rain whipped his face, as if the universe was taunting him.
"Strike me!" He cried out, "You never held back before!"
But even now, it seemed like the universe was unwilling to grant him his wish. Zuko looked up at the grey clouds as the lightening and thunder rolled through the sky. It sounded like a laugh, a deep, sadistic laugh at how miserable his life was.
He fell down on his knees as his tears blended with the rain and streamed down his cheeks.
And finally, he screamed at the top of his lungs at everything in the world.