"No, I don't think I-"
"Yes, you can! Just try it one more time."
Hearing the voice of his nephew, Iroh turned around and was surprised to see two children sitting at the other end of the garden. Zuko didn't often bring people to the garden of the Royal Palace. Aside from feeding the turtleducks with Princess Ursa, he wasn't much the type to sit outside.
Iroh watched with fascination as he saw the auburn-haired girl – Elyrie, he remembered - close her eyes and focus on her breathing as she extended her small, trembling hands. A small flame, like one belonging to a candle, appeared in her small palm.
She quickly opened her eyes again and shook her hands to make the flame disappear.
"Very good!" Zuko exclaimed enthusiastically. Iroh smiled at his nephew, who was sitting across from the girl on the soft grass in the garden. In the shadow of the cherry blossom tree, Zuko had apparently shown Elyrie a simple firebending form.
"I don't want to try anymore." Elyrie said, her hands still shaking as she made sure the fire was completely gone from her hand and fingers.
"But you are a firebender! You should try and practice more!" Zuko answered as he lit up his own palm to show her again.
"But you've had real training." Elyrie answered as she crossed her arms and swept a loose curl out of her face, "Papa and Mama don't think it is something that's good for me."
"You don't have to become a master," Zuko said to his new friend, "But don't you think it is fun to see what you can do?"
"No! I don't want to, please," the six-year old girl answered, "Fire is dangerous."
"Only if you loose your control." Zuko said, mimicking the words of his Uncle, "You have to be focused to learn." Good to know he does listen to my lessons, Iroh thought to himself as he smiled inwardly.
"But Papa and Mama told me that I didn't need to practice firebending," Elyrie said with a pout as she tugged on her long, reddish-brown hair, "That studying and learning was as valuable as any bending."
"But don't you want to try?" Zuko asked as he stood up and extended his hand to the little girl. Iroh saw that to him, it was unfathomable that a firebender wasn't constantly practicing to get better.
"Yes, but what if I can't do it?" Elyrie said, her blue eyes wide.
"But that's why you have to keep trying! You should never give up!" Zuko said to her, smiling as he placed her hands together, "Now, let's try it again."
"Uncle, table three wants one chamomile and one lychee tea, please."
Blinking his eyes, Iroh looked up. Elyrie – now at least fifteen years older than the girl he remembered that afternoon in the garden- handed him an order. She smiled at him, raising an eyebrow when he didn't respond right away. "Are you alright?" she asked tentatively.
"Yes, yes." He answered quickly, "Lost in thought for a moment."
She nodded with an understanding smile before she turned around again to help the other customers.
As she turned around, Zuko returned from a round of clearing tables, a full tray in his hands. On her way back, Elyrie brushed past him and murmured a quick 'excuse me', to which Zuko didn't even react. Instead, he walked straight to the kitchen without even looking at her.
Iroh could see the sadness in Elyrie's eyes, obviously the result of his nephew's distant behaviour. It was only for a moment before her stoic mask slipped back into place and she carried on with her work.
He let out a long sigh as he poured the new order of tea. How he longed for the easier times, where they played together as children without a care in the world.
Dealing with one complicated youngster was a difficult job. But managing two, both vastly different in character, was nearly impossible. What made it even more frustrating, was that all could be solved if they only talked to each other. If he was to make a guess – and he knew it was a very, very good guess – he thought about the situation:
Zuko had realised his budding feelings for Elyrie, but was too afraid to say anything about it. Instead, he avoided her as much as possible so that he didn't need to be confronted with it – or with her.
As for Elyrie, that was a bit more complicated. He had a pretty strong feeling that she was afraid as well and even more closed-off. More importantly, she was denying the possibility so she could continue to live on as she had before.
And now Iroh was ready to hit them both over the head with the kettle, because – for Agni's sake – the heat that was radiating from the two was almost palpable. Ever since they entered Ba Sing Se, the lingering tension was everywhere they went.
With a sigh, he brought the order of tea to the table. As he placed the cups on the table, he smiled at the customers. "Enjoy your tea!"
To him, wisdom was like tea: the key is proper aging. And with two in their early twenties, they would think they have all the time in the world. But one day, they would realise how precious the time is on this earth. We have such limited time here that we are almost obliged to make the most of it, he thought to himself. It was easy for him to tell them what they should do, but he knew it wouldn't work. They would be too stubborn to listen to him anyway.
"So," the customer said, forcing him out of his thoughts, "You're the genius behind this incredible brew. The whole city is buzzing about you! I hope Pao pays you well."
The man smiled at him, but Iroh only humbly bowed his head. "Good tea is its own reward." He answered, which was partly true. Pao paid him, Zuko and Elyrie enough to life moderately comfortable in the city, which was enough for now.
"But it doesn't have to be the only reward," the man continued as his smile widened even further, "How would you like to have your own tea shop?"
Own teashop? Iroh was convinced he heard him wrong. "My own teashop?" he repeated in amazement, "This is a dream come true!"
Iroh crossed looks with Elyrie, who had walked over to them with large eyes. Pao had heard it too and quickly tried to intervene. However, the investor seemed to be determined to convince him.
"I'll provide you with a new apartment in the Upper Ring; the tea shop is yours to do whatever you want: complete creative freedom!"
"I even get to name the shop?" Iroh asked excitedly.
"Of course!" the investor answered.
That sealed the deal. Iroh handed Pao his pot of tea and bowed to the man, agreeing to the terms. Elyrie immediately hugged Uncle in excitement.
"Your life is about to change for the better, young lady." The man smiled at her, before he turned to Zuko who walked by, "As is yours, young man."
"I'll try to contain my joy." was Zuko's sarcastic answer as he walked outside and slammed the door shut behind him.
The man, who introduced himself as Quon, continued to talk about the arrangements they had to make if they wanted to move out tomorrow, but Iroh only listened with a half ear. His gaze went to Elyrie, standing beside him with a smile plastered on her face that didn't reach her eyes.
He patted her hand in a reassuring manner, as if to convince her that everything would turn out all right in the end. And maybe it would, if he could convince Zuko that happiness can come in small forms.
Or in this case, in the form of a lovely blue-eyed firebender.
He chuckled inwardly as he listened to Quon and his plans. Yes, everything would turn out alright.
"Ah!" Zuko said sarcastically as Elyrie entered the apartment later that afternoon, "So glad you can join this tea party as well!"
Elyrie only raised her eyebrows, just as Zuko turned away to face the window. She had just come back from Roman to tell him the good news of today – and of course to pick up a new book. She had expected to come home and find them busy packing for their move tomorrow. Instead, she saw Zuko being obviously agitated and Uncle looking disappointed.
"Can you explain this?" Elyrie asked Iroh while pointing at Zuko's tensed back.
"He is in Ba Sing Se." Iroh answered solemnly, before he perked up and exclaimed: "The Tea Weevil!" But he immediately shook his head after that, "No, that is stupid."
To an untrained ear, this might have sounds like a nonsense answer, but it took Elyrie only a few moments to grasp the whole situation when her eye fell on the flyer on the table.
She picked it up and quickly read the information. Apparently, Aang and his friends were in Ba Sing Se in search of Appa. The feeling of excitement to see them again was quickly subdued when she realised what effect this news had on Zuko. She quickly folded the flyer and placed it between her new book, out of sight.
As she took in the news, she started twisting the ring around her finger. The first thing she had done once she heard of their plans to move, was take out the leather bag of her closet and place the sapphire ring on her finger again. She felt whole again, happy things were looking brighter for them.
Zuko didn't seem to share that sentiment, though. After a few moments he walked past her without saying a word and slammed the bedroom door shut.
Iroh sighed deeply. "I'm going to meet with Quon and the investors," he said as he turned to Elyrie, "And you should finish packing. We're leaving for the new apartment tomorrow morning."
Elyrie only nodded. After Uncle had left, she started cleaning up the small living room. She had been in such a good mood today, only for it to be spoiled by Zuko. Why was he being so selfish? She couldn't comprehend why he wasn't able to be happy, or at least enjoy the good things that were happening to them. Why did he need to start stirring trouble now?
As she started washing the last plates and cups, she tried to think of other things. Of the new apartment in the Upper Ring and of the possibility for her to take courses at the University of Ba Sing Se. Now that she would earn more money, she could afford it. She would be able to attend a few lectures, Uncle had told her so himself.
As she was drying the plates, she heard the bedroom door open again. With a sigh, she placed the last plate on the sink as she turned around. "Okay, spill it." Elyrie said as she threw the wet towel in the sink.
Zuko looked at her with a frown, obviously as angry as he had been before. "Spill what?" he grunted as he made his way to the door, but Elyrie wasn't about to let him off that easily.
"You know perfectly well what." she simply said as she crossed her arms.
"I don't want to…" he began, but she broke him off.
"You don't want to?" She asked while emphasising the first word in an angry tone. She felt the fire coursing through her as she looked at him. For some reason, she had little patience with him today. "Have you ever thought about what Uncle wanted? Do you think he wanted to travel the world in blind search of the Avatar? To leave the comfort of the palace? He did it for you, because he loves you. Don't you think you owe it to him to realize his dream?"
Zuko stopped in his movement, as he was surprised at her fervent reaction. "I want more from life than serving tea! I want my dest-"
Before he was able to fully finish that sentence, Elyrie had grabbed her book from the table and hurled it at him with impressive force. The book hit him right on his forehead. He looked bewildered at her, not even feeling pain. She threw a book at him? She? A book?!
"What the…?" He managed to exclaim before he dodged another object, which was the wet towel.
"You egotistical..," she began as she searched for another object to throw, "disrespectful," she continued as she threw a plate, which he deflected. It slammed against the wall with a loud shattering noise.
"Self-centred.."
He dodged another book.
"What do you think, you little know-it-all,-" he spat back as he ducked for the cup she flung at him
"Ungrateful,-" She ignored his question as she hurled a pillow.
"High and mighty,-" he sneered as he caught the pillow and threw it aside.
"Delusional,-," she continued as she got closer to him, throwing another plate.
"Repressed,-"
"Insufferable,-"
"Alright, enough!" Zuko yelled as he grabbed her wrists and forced her arms beside her body. He had dodged and reflected almost all objects she managed to throw in his direction, but he wasn't waiting for the moment she would pick up something heavier to hurl at him.
She was panting from the excitement and struggled to get free, but he held her arms in an iron grip so she couldn't move away. She looked at him with an angry expression that he had seldom seen in her. He had never seen her lose her temper, not with him or with anyone. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he said between gritted teeth as she stopped resisting after a few moments, but he didn't let go of her just yet.
"Wrong with me?!" she hissed as his face was inches from hers, sparks flying from between her lips, "For once in your life, think about someone else than yourself!"
Zuko pushed her away in frustration, which surprised her as she stumbled backwards. She quickly found her balance again, but she apparently wasn't done with him.
"Uncle worked hard for this, it's his dream! Why can't you be more supportive and help him with this?"
"I want more of my life than a nice apartment and a job serving tea," Zuko answered, his jaw clenched.
"I want more too, but I'm willing to wait for it!" Elyrie said.
"Wait for it?!" Zuko yelled, stepping in her direction until he was but a few centimetres away from her face, "Easy for you to say: it has not even been six months for you! I have been waiting for nearly six years until I finally can start my life again!"
"Your life didn't stop!" Elyrie said, as he arched her neck to look him in his eyes, "It changed its course."
"It did stop," he insisted, "And if you could just look past your own spoiled outlook, you can see that too."
"Spoiled outl-" Elyrie began, indignantly planting her hands on her hips to give him hell, but Zuko cut her off. "Yes, spoiled." He repeated as he looked intensely at her, "You are spoiled rotten. You say you want change and that you want more, but you sit around passively waiting for things to magically solve itself."
"I don't-"
"Yes, you do." Zuko cut in, "You always do because everything has always solved itself if you only waited long enough. But in case you hadn't noticed: I don't have that luxury!"
"No, you want your so-called destiny," she answered, her cheeks now red from frustration, "But it doesn't matter to you who gets hurt in the process of getting it! I don't understand how you can be so selfish!"
"That's because you, once again, get everything without doing anything for it," he snarled, "It is mighty easy for you to say that I shouldn't be selfish while everything works out for you, isn't it?" Smoke came out of his nostrils, but neither of them was even the least bit worried that someone should see their displays of firebending.
Elyrie was sure that if she were able to conjure lightning, she would have shot a bolt of lightning at his thick skull. "Believe me," she said while inhaling through her nose, "This isn't what I want. None of this is what I want."
"Then what is it you want? Go back to the North Pole? To the Fire Nation? What?" Zuko said in an angry tone, obviously out of patience.
"I-, I.." Elyrie began before she thought about what he said, but her mind refused to form coherent thoughts. Zuko was standing so close to her, their bodies almost touched. She felt her cheeks heat up again, but she wasn't sure it was out of frustration.
She forced herself to look into his golden eyes as she thought about what he had said; what was it that she wanted? She had lived day by day, wanting more than this simple life but never once stopped to think what it actually was that she wanted.
Surprising herself, she closed her mouth again and looked away from Zuko. Even in his agitated state, she couldn't deny that she was comforted by his presence.
She actually did know what she wanted: she wanted him to bend forward and kiss her. She abruptly turned away from him and bend down to pick up the pieces of the plate she had thrown.
Zuko arched one eyebrow when she didn't immediately answer his question. It wasn't like her to falter, to not know what to say. What the hell was the matter with her today? "Elyrie!" he said, "Why don't you answer me?"
Elyrie stopped in her motion when he used her full name. She hated it when he did that. He called her 'Lily', always Lily. 'Elyrie' was formal, distant. 'Elyrie' was patronising. 'Elyrie' was what he used to call her as if he wanted to say 'listen, I know better and this is how it works'.
"Just leave me alone." She said as she clenched her jaw, trying to ignore the fire that was again building up from under her skin.
"Elyrie," Zuko said again, his voice impatient as if he was talking to a child.
"I said: leave me alone!" Elyrie yelled, turning around and raising her hands as fire sprung from the tips of her fingers, "Go and find your precious destiny, but leave me alone!"
Zuko was surprised and shocked at her fervent reaction. He gritted his teeth as she looked at him, her eyes almost daring him to push her even further over the edge. Even in the fog of his anger, he knew that was a bad idea.
But he wanted to tell her that she didn't understand. She would never understand. He hated it. She didn't care for his birth right, or for him. All she wanted was her easy life.
If she didn't care, she would not have reacted like this. His inner voice – which sounded suspiciously like Uncle – whispered to him when he took another look at her almost decomposed look. She looked like volcano, ready to explode again if he as so much dared to open his mouth. No, a snow-covered volcano, he thought as he looked at the pale skin and the blue eyes. The cool exterior was hiding the fiery spirit within, which she so seldom showed. Like a volcano, the pressure builds over time: it can take years for it to erupt but once it does, you better hide.
He looked at her, wanting to be angry as he let his eyes go over her. Her blue eyes were filled with fire, her curls were sticking out and her face was flushed from the excitement of throwing all imaginable objects at him. Her lips were pressed together in a line and she looked at him defiantly.
Oh for Agni's sake, why did he have to look at her like that? He'd rather have that the anger and feeling of injustice came back, because everything was better than this touching feeling of knowing that she did care.
Without saying another word, he turned around and walked out of the apartment. He slammed the door in anger as hard as he could, hoping the wood would splinter and break into a thousand pieces. Of course, it didn't. Even that can't go right today, Zuko thought as he ran down the stairs into the streets of the Lower Ring.
On the other side of the door, Elyrie picked up the book she had thrown at Zuko in her frustration. The spine had cracked and some pages had folded when it had collided with his impossible thick skull, but the damage was not too bad.
She sat down on the floor as she tried to straighten the pages, heating up the tips of her fingers to generate warmth to straighten them out.
She perked her ears, listening to the sounds in the stairwell. Then, she finally heard Zuko descended from the steps and into the street. Now that he was gone, she stood up and placed the damaged book on the table. She would have to buy it from Roman, but that would be alright.
As she leaned on the table, she looked around the room. Scatters of her outburst were visible everywhere. She couldn't think of the last time she had exploded like this, yelling and throwing things. It was just that Zuko made her so angry, she wanted to strangle him.
"Spoiled." She murmured as she felt her anger resurface. She pursed her lips together in an annoyed manner: she hated that Zuko called her spoiled. Hadn't she just travelled all across the Earth Kingdom with little to nothing? She was just as much of a refugee here as he was!
It is not that kind of spoiled and you know it, the little voice inside her said. She sighed as she picked up an empty cup that had survived the whole ordeal. She let it turn in her hands as she though about what Uncle had once said to her: you knew that, despite everything, you were loved.
Love. The one thing Zuko never was able to take for granted from the people around him, because he didn't knew that safety. And it was true: she had never doubted that people were good and would take care of her.
She bit her lip in frustration but her father always told her that if critique bothers you, there is some truth in it. Zuko is right, she thought. Everything came to her because there were always people willing to help her and to love her, to make her feel safe. Even here, Roman offered her a place of refuge in a foreign city. Uncle was offered a new tea shop, but Zuko had nothing of his own, nothing at all.
And now, with Aang in the city…
She let the cup dangle between her fingers, hating the feelings of uncertainty and frustration. She looked around and the damage around her was proof enough that there was something inside her that there wasn't before.
She forced to admit to herself that she knew exactly why she was so frustrated. There was no need to overthink what was happening to her. She could say she had conflicted feelings; that she was confused; that it had been the stress of the past weeks, or that she had no idea what was happening to her. She shook her head, for she knew herself better than that.
She had fallen in love with him.
She laughed at herself when she finally thought the words. Of course she was in love with him, it would be nonsense to deny it.
With a smile, she weighed the cup in her hands. Then, she threw it against the wall with all the strength she had.
"So, the Blue Spirit," Iroh said, seemingly confused as he stroked his beard, "I wonder who could be behind that mask?"
"What are you doing here?" Zuko sighed as he lowered his swords and took off the mask he had been wearing to get into the secret headquarters of the Dai Li. For him, it had been difficult enough to discover the hiding place of the sky bison and to get here undetected, but apparently his Uncle had managed to do the same.
And with much less effort, he judged by his simple clothes and calm demeanour. He had opened the door as if he was going on a visit, not just had snuck into the most secure and secretive place in the whole Earth Kingdom.
"I was just about to ask you the same thing," Iroh replied as he looked at his nephew, dressed all in black with his broadswords in his hands. They had moved their stuff this morning to their new apartment in the Upper Ring, but after that Zuko had disappeared. He knew his nephew well enough to expect him to do something rash, but even he was surprised at the stupidity of this action.
"What are you planning to do now that you found the Avatar's bison?" he continued as he motioned to the enormous animal behind Zuko, "Keep him locked in our new apartment? Should I go put on a pot of tea for him?"
The sky bison sensed the tension and remained silent as his large brown eyes followed the two familiar figures in front of him, growling softly. Iroh saw that the creature had recognised them and he felt a sting in his heart as he saw him chained up in here. However, he would deal with that later. First, he had to make Zuko see that he could decide his own fate. That he had to decide his own fate.
"First I have to get it out of here." Zuko mumbled as he avoided Iroh's look, but Iroh was done with being patient and understanding.
"And then what?!" he yelled, "You never think these things through! This is exactly like the time you captured the Avatar at the North Pole: you had him and then you had nowhere to go!"
"I would have figured something out!"
"No!" Iroh said harshly, "If Elyrie hadn't been there to take you back, you would have frozen to death!"
Zuko turned away in frustration as his Uncle's voice cut through the dark air of the cell. An uneasy feeling in his chest grew as he realised his impatience and his rashness might have had a different ending. It was true: Elyrie had been the one who guessed he had escaped into the frozen tundra, because she was the only one who thought him capable of such a dangerous plan.
NO! he said to himself as his mind wandered off, thinking about how she might have saved him. He would have made it! He always had to struggle, but he always found a way to survive.
"I know my own destiny, Uncle!" he answered, turning back to the bison.
"Is it your own destiny, or is it a destiny that someone else has tried to force on you?" Iroh asked, finally saying out loud what he had been thinking for the last five years. Inwardly, he resented his brother for forcing Zuko down this path of unhappiness and misery. He resented him for denying the thing Zuko needed most: love.
"Stop it, Uncle!" Zuko said out loud, hoping to silence the nagging feeling in his chest as well, "I have to do this!"
"I'm begging you, Prince Zuko," Iroh yelled, finally losing his patience with his stubborn nephew. He loved him and he wanted to see him happy, but he was unable to stay silent any longer. The effect his brother had on him was too great and Zuko needed to break free from his past if he was to become the man he always was meant to be. "It is time for you to look inward and ask yourself the big question: who are you? And what do you want?"
Zuko felt his blood turn to ice as he realised he had asked Elyrie that same question. She hadn't answered it, she didn't seem to know. He had judged her for it, but now he felt the same indecisiveness coursing through his veins.
What did he want?
As soon as he asked himself that, all the different voices – all his inner thoughts - yelled louder at him, screaming over each other for his attention.
What was his destiny? If he had a choice, what would he do now?
Deep down, he knew what he should do. What would be the good thing to do, but what would go against everything that had driven him for the last five years.
He looked at the sky bison, who was looking at him with an almost frightened expression. He knew this animal shouldn't be locked up like this, that he should be reunited with his master. But his master was the Avatar, and he had been trying to capture him. He had to capture him if he wanted to regain his honour.
If we had known each other then, you think we could have been friends too?
After he had been knocked out with the arrow, the Avatar had taken him away from the Stronghold and stayed with him until he had opened his eyes. The boy had offered his friendship but he had rejected it, believing it to be impossible.
But was it truly impossible?
He clenched his jaw, trying to shut out all of the feelings and thoughts that raced through him. With a loud scream, he threw down his swords and mask. His yell echoed off the walls of the cell, all the way back to the surface.
After that, there was a deafening silence. And Zuko knew what he had to do.
The whole day, Elyrie had seen neither Zuko nor Uncle. Where they were or what they were doing, she had no idea. Inside the new apartment, she started to decorate and make it feel more like a home. They had moved that morning and after a few hours, she had done the groceries, cooked a dinner and had eaten it without much gusto. But she had to do something, because she was starting to feel more worried by the minute.
The sun was starting to set on the horizon when she heard the door open.
Zuko walked in first, dressed completely in black with his broadswords strapped on his back. Elyrie immediately recognised the outfit as the one he had been wearing as the Blue Spirit. After him, Uncle entered with a happy expression on his wrinkled face.
She wanted to make a snarky comments when the two men entered the apartment, but immediately saw that something was wrong. Zuko didn't seem like himself as he took steps into the dim apartment, looking as if all the blood had drained from his face.
"What happened?" she asked them, walking over to Zuko as she extended her hands to him.
"He did the right thing," Iroh nodded to her with a proud smile, "Letting the Avatar's bison go free."
"I-, I," Zuko began, taking Elyrie's outstretched hands, "I don't feel right."
Just as their hands touched, his eyes closed and he fell over. In a reflex, Elyrie caught him but she wasn't strong enough to hold him up by herself. She lowered onto her knees, with Zuko still unconscious in her arms.
"Uncle, what is happening?" she asked, her voice high with worry, "What is the matter with him?" His weight still on her, she could feel his heart beating faster than was normal. His skin was hot to the touch, almost as if he had a fever.
"I don't know." Iroh answered as he placed his hand on his nephews forehead.
That night, Iroh didn't sleep a wink as he watched over his sick nephew. Elyrie had fallen asleep, but before dawn she had woken up and found Iroh in an uncomfortable position on the wooden floor.
"He has been stirring all night," he yawned when Elyrie had given him a cup of tea. Zuko was still laying on his bed, which they had moved to the living room.
"Is it serious?" she asked, looking at Zuko's pained face. He looked even paler on the white sheets.
"It isn't lethal, but it won't be a pleasant experience." Iroh answered as he took a sip of tea, "He is going through a metamorphosis."
Elyrie wanted to ask what it meant, but Iroh yawned again and his eyes were watery from exhaustion.
"Why don't you sleep a little bit? I can watch over him, don't worry." Elyrie instructed gently.
She had expected Uncle to disagree, but he only nodded as he stood up. Stretching his sore muscles, he turned to Elyrie.
"He might be delirious from the fever." he warned her. As if to underline his point, Zuko moaned in his sleeps and turned around.
"Uncle, go to sleep." Elyrie instructed when she saw the dark circles under his eyes, "I'll take care of him, I promise."
Iroh complied and after a few moments, she heard the soft snoring coming from the other bedroom. She picked up a book and started reading it, every few minutes looking over at the sleeping figure of Zuko. A silence descended over the apartment, but it wasn't calming or peaceful. However, hearing Uncle say it wasn't lethal had eased her mind a little bit.
But not for long, as Zuko started trashing again in his sleep while sweating profusely.
Elyrie wiped his brow with a damp cloth as she softly started humming. She didn't knew if it was the coolness of the water or the soft tones of her voice, but he seemed to relax a little bit.
After he had calmed down, she got up to get some fresh water. She might not be a nurse, but she knew that he needed to drink plenty if he didn't want to get any weaker. Still humming, she filled a cup with water and sat down next to Zuko again.
"Elyrie." She heard her name in his faint voice and she looked at him with a smile. His eyes were half-open and he was still sweating.
"Here, this helps." She said to him as she gave him a bit to drink, placing her hand behind his head to help. He lifted his head, but his heavy-lidded eyes kept looking at her with a fuzzy look.
"Lily." He said, as if to get her attention again. "Yes?" Elyrie responded with a smile on her lips as she helped him drink the water.
"No." was his answer after a few sips, "You cannot be her."
Delirious from the fever, she thought. "Oh? And why is that?" she answered innocently as she stood up to fill the cup again at the kitchen counter.
"She is far away." His answer was hoarse as if he tried to hold back emotions in his feverish state, "She is far, far away from me."
Now Elyrie did turn around and leaned against the counter.
"Is she, now?" she asked as she crossed her arms as she tried to figure out where he was in his dream. He sounded so sad and beaten. Uncle had told her he was going through some kind of transformation but she didn't understand what he exactly meant by that.
"Yes." His voice was weak and she had to strain herself to hear it.
"And where are you then?"
"Darkness." Quite the dramatic answer, she thought as she sat down and wiped his head another time.
"I see." She said patiently, as if his answers were not delirious at all.
"That is why she can't be here." Zuko continued as he rolled on his side and looked at her. He didn't recognise her, but talked to her as if she was some figment of his imagination. "She is light." He said in a raspy voice.
Her heart started pounding at this compliment. At least, as far as it could be a compliment in his feverish state. "Try to sleep." Elyrie gently instructed as she took the cloth from his brow, suddenly feeling a bit awkward.
But something had made him panic. The heat he was generating was unnatural, even for a firebender. He trashed his head back and forth, but calmed down once she placed another cool hand against his cheek and felt that his fever hadn't broken yet.
Softly, she started singing her mother's lullaby.
Oh, won't you come with me?
Where the moon is made of gold
He seemed to relaxed at the soft tones of her voice, for which she was grateful. If he slept another good night, she was sure he would recover in no time.
His clammy hand searched for hers and she took his. Even though she felt that he was weak, the strength with which he grasped her cool fingers was surprisingly strong.
And as the waves roll by
We'll sing the song of the sea
She finished the song softly and felt his grip relax. She sat there for a few more minutes, until she was sure he was asleep.
Just as she wanted to release herself from his grip, his hoarse voice broke the silence. She froze in her movement as his eyelids flew open again. For a moment, she thought that he recognised her when his piercing golden eyes looked into her own eyes.
But when she saw no sign of recognition, she knew he was still delirious. She continued to hum the lullaby as she stroked his shaggy hair in a soothing manner. The panic in his eyes ebbed away as she smiled at him and he seemed to relax at the sight, but didn't let go of her hand.
"Do you-," he began before he coughed a couple times. The sound cut through the apartment, as if the words were too much for him.
"Ssshtt." Elyrie hushed. Even though Uncle had assured her that his illness wasn't lethal, it pained her to see him like this. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him this weak. Even when he had almost frozen to death on the North Pole and she had held him in her arms, he had radiated an unusual strength.
But those had been physical wounds, she knew that. Zhao's attack on his life, the freezing temperatures, Jet's swords… Those wounds healed over time. But what he was experiencing now was apparently connected to the deeper wounds within him. The scars that weren't visible on his face, but buried deep down. He had been going on for so long, it was bound to happen that those wounds would come and haunt him.
Zuko's coughing fit finally ended when she placed the cup against his chapped lips. He took over the cup with one hand, while continuing to hold onto her other hand. When he was finished, she took the cup from him and put it aside.
With an exhausted expression, Zuko lowered his head again and closed his eyes. Elyrie wiped away the strands of hair that stuck to his forehead. He looked so fragile, so young.
"Do you think-," Zuko began again without opening his eyes, "Do you think she could have loved me?" he sighed, as if he had given up on the world. The sheer desperation while simultaneously sounding at peace were heart-breaking.
She didn't need to think about her answer.
"Yes." Her soft voice answered him, "She could."
I think she should! ;)