CN: Ableism, depression, discussion of antidepressants
Rock 4.12: Truths and Lies
Cuicatl
2013
You slowly make your way up the staircase with the help of your cane. Achcau is off with his friends playing ball so you don't have his help. Its fine. You're better at getting places than he seems to think you are. When you reach the last step you close the distance to your father's study and knock on the door.
"Come in," he calls after a few seconds.
You shuffle in until you're standing near his desk.
"Yes?" he asks.
You swallow. It's never fun giving him bad news. Hopefully he won't get out a cactus spike this time. "I was looking with Achcau. We don't have enough food for the rest of the week. Can you buy some more?"
He scoffs but doesn't move. Good. You're not going to get hit. Yet. "We have our duties, Cuicatl. As the man of the house, I provide the food. As the woman, you prepare it. Are you saying that you cannot do your job? Or did I not do mine?"
It is a trap. If you did not do your job you will be punished. You cannot say that he failed at his. The only way to win is to not answer the question. "There will be less food for the rest of the week," you say. "I will do the best I can."
Father gets up and you brace yourself. Hopefully he at least lets you get downstairs first. Walking down is always hard. Walking down while hurt could make dinner late and then you would be corrected again. "Your brother is a growing boy who needs to eat. And I am a fully grown man who can't work hungry." He reaches out and… squeezes your stomach? It feels weird but it's not painful like you were expecting. "You are a fat girl. If anyone goes without it should be you."
His footsteps retreat back to his desk. "Go make dinner. I have work to do."
March 16th, 2020
What are you left with when your world goes away?
Only you. You've always had you, even when you had nothing and no one else.
There are truths that you know about yourself. You're blind. Psychic. Nahua…half-Nahua, at least. You love(d) your brother. You're fat.
And then…
All you have is yourself and you aren't sure what that means anymore.
You can't help but feel like this is your fault. You should have known. How didn't you know? It's not like you touched other girls that often. Even if it was a normal thing for other people, you were half-American and not very social. All the other girls had their mothers to take care of the house. You only had memories. By the time you were done with your duties you just wanted to listen to a book and go to sleep. Even when you had social time you'd have rather spent it with your pokémon. All of them were lean and strong. Almost all of them. Charles has some fat. He's a fighting type so he needs it to keep having energy through long fights. You never fought. Never fought back, at least.
You don't have all of your mother's memories. A few from her journey, a few from her childhood, a few from Anahuac. She never really felt her own body. Or if she did Renfield didn't include it. He has to understand modesty, right? Father would have wanted you to not take food from him and your brother. He didn't need to lie, though; you gladly would have given it to them. They deserved it more.
There still has to have been some way you should have known.
There is a way you should have known. Someone with a functioning set of eyes you shared almost your entire mind with. Someone who knew that he didn't have to lie to you because you'd give him what he needed anyway. Why… how…
He loved you. You know he did. And. He did nothing. Why?
And why did you only find this out after it was too late to ask him?
Another pillar of yourself begins to shake. You love him. You killed him. He hurt you first, even if you didn't know it. He still didn't deserve what happened to him. What you…
…you don't know anymore. You don't know anything anymore.
Coco shifts beside you and rests her head on your legs. Coco. No. You don't have nothing, even if you don't have yourself. She chose to stay with you even when your lies fell apart. She might come to regret that. But you don't want to push her away. It feels good to be loved, even if you don't deserve it.
Leo skitters above you while he clings to the bottom of the top bunk. "Are you injured?" he asks.
You can understand why he'd ask that. Your heart rate is way up and you're leaking stuff from your eyes.
"Only hurt in my head," you tell him.
He clicks his mandibles in rapid succession. Panic. "Head wounds are dangerous! Heal it now!"
So literal. He reminds you a lot of Ce.
Pixie made you give up Ce.
You love Pixie. You broke Pixie. She hurt you, too. Like…
"I'm only hurt in my thoughts."
She goes quiet for a long time. "Why would you think about being hurt? Pain is bad."
How to explain all of this to a wimpod? It was bad enough with Noci. With her… stunt, afterwards. You don't want to go through that again. Not now. Not with a bug.
"Most humans think like that," you agree. "I don't. I'm broken."
Broken in so many ways.
"Just stop thinking about pain?" he suggests, like it's the easiest thing in the world. "Then you won't be broken."
"Stop being afraid," you tell him. "Then we can talk."
"Okay."
Your train of thought screeches to a halt.
"What?"
"Let's go outside. I will fight a black-pink ball."
Pyukumuku. He means a pyukumuku. You'd been trying to get him to at least threaten to attack one since they almost never strike first. Has to be a wild pyukumuku, not Lyra's. Hers is strong enough to beat Pixie. You don't need Leo picking a fight and immediately getting walloped.
Why not? Coco needs a walk if nothing else.
"Fine. Let's go."
The dinosaur leaps out of bed and lands with a heavy thud before bolting to the door in excitement. It's almost enough to warm your heart from its chill. Almost.
You bring your cane with you to the beach. The other hand carries Coco's longest leash. There are rules about controlling predators in the National Park. Letting Noci trail Lyra wasn't going to get discovered and she doesn't really need meat anyway. Having an unleashed, hyper tyrunt on a public beach in the day is asking to get caught.
Coco strains as far as she can against her leash and you have to dig your sandals into the sand to avoid getting dragged away. You only barely avoid falling over before she stops pulling so hard.
"Tell me if she poops," you ask Noci. Cleaning up after your pokémon is hard when you can't see the waste. Thankfully Noci can just scoop it into a bag telepathically. She really is the best support pokémon. Even if you don't know why she's here. Even if she could leave as easily as she came. You crouch down to the ground and Leo slowly crawls off your jacket and down your legs to the sand. She's probably fine out here. Nothing's going to attack him on a public beach while you're right there. You almost ask Noci to look out for wingull and whatever before remembering she's already doing something else.
A quick whistle brings Coco running back to you. Leo scurries halfway up your leg as the dino approaches but doesn't go all the way to your jacket. Progress? "Can you find a black squishy?" you ask Coco. "Don't attack it, just tell me it's there."
"Yes!" Coco chortles. Her voice is rough and getting rougher as she gets bigger. Deeper, too. Tyrantrum have roars you feel more than hear, whatever the movies say. At what point will you stop hearing her words? Will your gift still translate? No. What are you even thinking, you spoke to a tyrantrum less than a month ago. Are you so stressed that you can forget even that? No. No point being sad over something that won't happen. There are more than enough things to worry about that could occur.
"Noci, look out for wingull, please."
{Orders received.}
It's not needed. Nothing is going to attack Leo while Coco is near. It still might reassure the bug.
A few minutes later Coco finds a pyukumuku. She growls but remains in place. You catch up and reach out for where you're pretty sure her neck is from the sound of the growl. Good. You guessed right. You ruffle up her feathers in thanks and she stops growling. "Alright, Leo, try to scare it away."
A brilliant idea comes to you.
{Noci? Can you pick up the pyukumuku and throw it into the sea when Leo's had his fun? Make it look like the pyukumuku is running away?}
{Orders received. Orders are within Unit_Nocitlālin's capabilities.}
She's even started using her name. The metang really has come a long way.
Leo skitters closer to the pyukumuku and begins chattering away. There might even be a weak struggle bug mixed in there. Hard to tell by sound alone. For several seconds the pokémon just takes it. Then it… spits? There's a squelching sound and Leo stops talking. Then you can hear something (the pyukumuku?) getting dragged through the sand before being tossed into the water with a plop. Noci, probably.
"You hurt?" you ask Leo. Hard to tell what the spit did.
"No…" he says hesitantly. Odd. He's usually sure of himself. Or sure that he's unsure. "…did I win?"
"Yes, you did. Great job."
"I won?" It sounds like he's not even sure what the phrase means. Like it's not something that's supposed to happen. "I won." He repeats with more confidence. "I won!"
"You did!" Sure, you're lying to him, but it makes him feel better. Maybe he'll even evolve. That would really help against Mallow and Olivia. Not that you don't like him now, just that he'd be better if he was too big to hide under your shirt. And also big enough to help out in battles. Noci and Coco are strong but Olivia has four pokémon on her side. The next two kahunas will have more. You'd catch more, but…
Pixie still looms over everything. If you get new team members it will be because it happens so quickly you don't have time to remind yourself what you could do to them. Like with Leo.
"I did something scary," Leo says. Yes, yes he did.
Wait.
"Now you don't think about pain."
Great. Like you even know how to pull that off. "I'll try," you tell him. And you don't really have the heart to lie after that so. Um. Something that will make you happy? You like your pokémon. And Kekoa and Lyra, but things are still awkward with Lyra and Kekoa's with his brother. You could listen to something? Or have a movie night? But you've been in bed most of the day. Going back feels maybe wrong then. Lyra said the lodge had good blukberry ice cream. It sounds weird enough that you sort of want to try it. "Coco, do you mind going into your ball for a little bit?"
She whines but doesn't really mean it since she walks right over and presses her snout up by her ball. "Good girl. You'll be out soon, I promise." After she's withdrawn you look back up towards Noci. "Do you think you can fly me and Leo up to the Lodge? The big wood building down the beach and up the mountain."
{Affirmative.}
In the end the ice cream's weird. Almost bitter. You wouldn't call it good. Also not bad enough to regret trying it. Besides, it won't kill you. Not like you are fat or anything.
March 29th, 2020
Tonight went well, all things considered. You enjoyed being around Kanoa's mother and grandmother. Sure, they babied you a little. Thought that just because you're blind and a kid you have no idea what you're doing around fire and blades. You've had years to learn and the scars to prove that you've learned what not to do. In the end they only begrudgingly gave you a butter knife and let you cut berries. They were nice enough once you got talking. Even praised you for doing the cooking on the trail. Not that trail cooking is hard. Mostly just warming stuff up.
Dinner was a little quiet. Probably awkward for Kekoa and Kanoa. The food was good so you just ignored everyone else and ate. Maybe ate too much. Even if you aren't fat now you could be if you let yourself go. You can't just eat the things you want when you want them.
It takes a while after dinner to get everything cleaned. Kanoa's parents also didn't trust you with that, which is fine. You never really liked dishwashing. In the end you end up out back with Lyra to meet Kekoa's new pokémon. A miltank. A trans miltank or something? You aren't sure if they understand gender like that and you're curious to find out. Just not around Lyra. You like her and after Mauna Wela she knows more than she ever should have. You still can't trust her. It's hard being friends with someone who would hate you if they really knew you.
Something approaches. Its steps are about as heavy as a human's but faster and in a different pattern. No one else seems scared so it's probably fine. Just one of Kanoa's pokémon. Then it barrels past the point where Kanoa's standing and towards you.
"Hello!" it chimes in a high-pitched voice. "Have this!"
You blink and tighten up. First, you don't know what it wants to give you. Second, you can't pretend like you understand it. Third, you have no idea what the giver even is.
"Can I help you?" you ask.
"Yes! Eat this!"
Yeah, no. You've seen the kinds of things pokémon try to get you to eat. Alice never understood why you wouldn't eat her kills raw. Or blackened. Or after she'd already bitten into it. Not sharing food until you're sure what it is.
"Oh, my blissey wants to share an egg."
Now you're even more confused. "Why? I'm not hurt?" You thought they gave eggs to people who were hurt. You're not right now. Unless she's talking about being blind. You don't care about that, though. The thought of being sighted… it makes your spine like taut string and crowds out all other thoughts. You don't want that, right? Another key part of who you are gone. And you get around fine. Really it's everyone else who should make things easier for people like you rather than pretending you don't exist until it's time to shower you with pity and then not fix anything.
"You're sad. Have an egg."
You almost laugh. She can heal injuries and she wants to waste that gift on your feelings?
"No, thank you. Please give it to someone hurt."
There's a heavy, tense silence. You can almost feel anger radiating from the pokémon in front of you.
Kanoa coughs. "Just take the egg. She'll get angry if you don't."
Whatever. It won't kill you.
You hold out your hands and the blissey puts her egg into them. If she said it was because you were 'sad' and not blind it probably won't do anything about that. Still…
{This won't make me not blind, right?}
The blissey chirps back. "It will clear your eyes up."
That's not why you're blind though. {The blindness is in my brain.}
"Probably not? Brain wounds are hard to heal. Except sadness. Sadness is easy."
Good enough. You don't expect it to do much of anything, but it probably won't hurt.
"So I just eat it? Like it is?"
"Yes!"
"Okay…"
You cautiously take a bite. It's good, you just can't put your finger on why. Has the texture of a boiled egg, just a little sweeter. You take another bite. It's good. The flavor or… no it's not very flavorful. You take another bite. And another. And another until there's nothing left.
Did you really just eat all of it? That's got to be so many calories. And the way it kept you eating might've been, like, why people keep using drugs. You really hope this is addictive. You don't need a drug problem on top of everything else.
March 30th, 2020
You feel weird today. A little bloated but that might just be your period approaching. No, not body weird. Mind weird. Everything feels a little lighter. Less weight to your steps, even though you might be heavier than yesterday. When the wind blows you feel it more on your skin. Everything just feels *more* than it did before. You find yourself smiling instead of frowning. Even sang on the trail for the first time since the rules were made. Kekoa said you were being weird but didn't trip you. He's right: you are being weird. It's the stupid blissey egg making you high. You want to laugh and dance and sing and play and let all the responsibilities flow off of you like water. Even though you can't do that. There are people depending on you. They could get hurt or go hungry if you aren't doing your duty as the girl of the house, caretaker of everyone. And it's so hard to care. You want to whine like a spoiled child about how you shouldn't have to do things.
It's also twisting your thoughts on things that matter. Burning guilt is there but it's like you're touching it with a glove between your mind and the pain. Even what you learned about your brother makes you sad, but that goes right away when you stop thinking about it.
This is wrong. It's not who you are. Even if it feels good. Just another drug high.
It can't last forever. Pain should be felt. Especially by you.
At least Leo seems happy about it. Even if he's scared that your singing could draw predators.
You do prepare dinner that night, as you should, after Lyra and Kekoa put up the tent and hang the food. Just reheating some lab pidove, beans, maize, and rice. It's good. Could be better. Now that you have some money you'll buy more seasonings in Heahea. Worth their weight in gold.
Coco's gotten big enough that it's not practical to heat all of her food up. She tries with fire fang before finally chomping everything in her bowl up. Then Lyra's salandit crawls over to lick the bowl out. Took her long enough to get a proper predator. Then she'll have a noivern in time which is a badass dragon. A badass, horribly loud dragon. Can't tell if you're more excited for the big dragon or worried about the noise.
Dinner is good so dinner is quiet. No one talks until Lyra's done eating. "You seem to be in a better mood than usual.
You finish chewing and answer. "I'm higher than usual."
Kekoa snickers. Lyra doesn't say anything for long enough that you go back to eating.
"Blissey eggs don't make you high. They're just antidepressants."
No. You've only been high once. Drunk a few times. Feels a little similar. Less weight on your shoulders. Unlike normal in a specific way.
"There are other antidepressants if you want this but… less," Lyra continues. "You're still planning on seeing a therapist, right?"
"Three weeks."
It's a wonder how money can make waitlists disappear. You're still pretty sure it's not worth the cash per session. Nothing they can possibly tell you in an hour is worth two hundred bucks. You'll still go to a few meetings. Noci would be on your case if you didn't.
"Cool. Maybe ask about it and see if you can get a referral?"
You grunt non-comitally.
"Why wouldn't you?" she asks.
You glance towards Kekoa in a silent plea for help. He doesn't answer. Bastard.
"I want to be me." You've given it some thought. Like, what if you died and someone happier was created in your place. Someone like you, just less of a failure. Do you want that? Sometimes you think you do but… no, no you don't.
"It doesn't change that," Lyra says softly like she's talking to a baby. You're not. "I'm on antidepressants and they didn't change who I am." Her tone shifts back towards something more serious. "If they did that I'd burn them in a heartbeat. It's different. I just feel like I have more energy to put towards things. That's all."
Energy would be nice. Maybe you could sleep less. You probably sleep too much, anyway, and you're still almost always at least a little tired.
"Don't push her." Good. Kekoa's finally stepping in. You're going to be nice and think that he was just too busy eating to talk. "Her choice."
"I know. Just. Think about it, okay?"
You nod and go back to your dinner. Food is hard but it's better than the quiet anger building in you. Anger? Maybe pain. Discomfort. Like you'd rather talk about anything else. Because you don't want to be high all the time. You want to feel. Need to feel. Need to be. Especially with everything else changing.
You deserve it, after all.
After dinner you approach Kekoa with a kind of awkward request while Lyra's off training. There's another weird thing the egg is doing that makes you need touch. Last night you'd ended up smooshed against Lyra in the tent while you were asleep. She laughed it off but it was embarrassing. And now that it's been hours that strange want is bubbling up again.
"Um, Kekoa?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we hug?" He doesn't answer. "I, um, the egg is doing weird stuff and—"
He cuts you off by stepping forward and wrapping his arms around you. "This good?"
"Yeah." You lean in and wrap your arms around him, too. He's warm. And someone got him to use more deodorant. Probably Kanoa. After a bit too long you step away again. "Sorry, I, uh, just want to be around people and…"
"I get it," Kekoa says. "Don't worry."
And that's that.
March 31st, 2020
You lay curled up on top of Noci and soak in the sunlight. She's always warm. The sun makes her warmer. By afternoon she might be unbearable to sit on. For now it's just nice. Feeling her radiated heat, having her telekinesis pull down on you like a blanket. Metal isn't the comfiest to sleep on but this is nice. The egg-brain is happy. And she gets to do what she does best: observe. Apparently metang can pick up on any psychic signals sent. Doesn't mean they can always understand them, just that they know when and where they're used. Espeon are the only psychic types in this part of Route 6 so you can just wait in the air until she senses one. Then you get to give your pitch. Hopefully they'll want to travel with you for a while. Until Leo evolves you really only have two pokémon against Olivia's four. Having another one would be good. Espeon are also good assistance pokémon.
…better tempered than vulpix, at least…
You always miss Pixie. Your blissey-addled brain really, really misses her. You can't call her, though, not without reopening old wounds. If she wants to talk to you then you'll do it. Not until then. For her sake.
{Broadcast detected.}
You stir and try to stretch out before being locked back into place by Noci. Fine. Probably just doesn't want you to fall off. "Go towards it. Slowly." No point scaring the espeon away. You do your best to stay awake and get ready. But the warmth is just so nice… you sigh and try to move into a sitting position instead of lying down. Noci stops while you do. Then she goes back to going down. It feels like an elevator. Controlled falling. You don't actually like elevators much—they just feel weird—but this is nice. Probably the telekinesis. Or you just trust Noci more than some random machine.
{Elevation:0.6m Reached}
"Thanks," you tell her before sliding off. "Hello!" you call. "Anyone here."
A few pikipek fly away at the noise. Something scampers in the grass. You can't hear anything that sounds like an espeon.
{How far away is it?}
{Class:Espeon Is 4.698 Meters From UD_Cuicatl}
Definitely close enough to hear you.
{Any humans nearby?}
{Negation}
You breathe deeply. Okay. Open pulse time. Sending out a psychic message to everyone around without your voice is actually pretty hard. There's usually no reason to since you're either talking aloud or using your gift to talk privately. Now it might help. You close your eyes and steady your breathing.
{Hello?}
Something makes a soft landing to your right. It's hard to hear what are probably dainty steps from what you've heard from Miss Bell's espeon.
"Aren't you an odd one," the fox says. "I didn't think humans had path gifts."
"Path gifts?" You think Inferno said that once. Is that an eevee thing? What they call evolution?
"The changes of your final form. I thought humans grew in size but not in strength."
"I'm different." You could explain that you were born like this but it would take time for something that doesn't really matter. You'll tell them if they join the team. "What's your name?"
"Tranquility. Yours?"
"Cuicatl Ichtaca."
They scoff. "Humans and their two names. My mate told me about that."
Shit. They're mated. Yeah, not much chance this works out anymore. Maybe they'll know another who might go with you?
"Are you male or female?" Because you don't want to keep referring to them as 'them' in your mind.
"Female," she answers. "And you are… female as well?"
Pixie could smell the difference. Is that just because she'd spent more time around humans?
"I am."
"Hmm." You can hear her step on a leaf as she moves closer. "I suppose you want me to join your team?"
"If you're mated I won't take you away from that. Just, if you know another espeon who might want to be with humans—"
"My mate and kits died during the darkness." Oh. "I understand humans have food even when it is dark and cold. That seems better than the forest."
That hits you hard. It was one thing when the butterfree agreed to go into human care: they're butterfree, they had, like, two months left. When someone smart and long-lived says that they'd rather live in an unknown place with strange people instead of staying home…
You relate a little too much.
"We could feed you. There are still options."
"Oh?" she asks. "Such as?"
"You could come with me. Fair warning, I battle a lot."
"Yourself?"
Oh. Yeah, you can see how she'd make that mistake with your gift and all.
"No." The air shifts subtly. Tranquility says nothing else. "Or you could go to another human who wouldn't make you battle. You'd probably help care for humans who were born wrong. Mind problems."
Kekoa kept getting on you until you found out what the espeon would be sold for. Turns out that people with disabled kids really like espeon. Long-term caretaker that can talk to kids who don't talk, move stuff around, and make sure they don't die.
The air shifts again. "You care for them?" Tranquility asks. "Your defects? To what end?"
"I'm blind," you tell her. Because you really don't like that line of thought. You've overheard more than one adult say that about you when they thought you couldn't hear. You've certainly heard their kids say it to your face.
"Your eyes look fine."
Don't you have—oh no. Blissey said it would heal your cataracts. You hadn't even really thought much about that, but now you'll have to be more obvious about your blindness. Cane and sunglasses whenever possible or people will think you're lying. Even when you can't get around.
People really are dumb. Every time you talk to a pokémon you're a little embarrassed you're human.
"Problem is in my brain."
Her mind brushes against yours. "I could fix that."
"No. I've already had a psychic-type try." Not to mention that you don't want it fixed.
Thankfully she lets up on that. "Your defects don't die?" she asks.
"We've made a nice world for ourselves." And a pretty shitty world for everyone else. Including some humans. Most humans. Basically, all humans in the States. Not that tranquility needs to know that now.
"Well, if I would be looking after a defect either way," and you hate being lumped in with people who will never, ever be able to live alone or talk or do anything that you can, "I would rather not fight. I've had enough of that."
You can imagine. You do your best to beat down your anger since she didn't really mean to insult you. No, she probably did. Almost definitely did. Not sure how good an ableist espeon will do as a caretaker, but that's someone else's problem once you have your money.
"Alright." You take out a pokéball. Just a normal one. VStar can upgrade it if they want. "Anyone out here you want to say goodbye to?"
"I suppose I should tell my mother. Can we meet here at high sun tomorrow?"
"Of course."
You can wait an extra day for ten grand in your pocket. And forty grand in VStar's. But Rachel really won't give you more—Lyra already bargained her up from $5,000—and 105,000 is still good money.
For a second you think about trying to get her to try out being on your team, just for one trial, so you'd have four pokémon to match Olivia's four. But the last time you tried that with a fox… no. No. You can't do that. If she doesn't want to fight, you won't make her.
April 3rd, 2020
You sit on a bench and listen to the waves as the cool evening winds whip through your hair. Leo likes being near the sea but not in it and Coco needed a walk. Kekoa thought you should do both at once. Found you a nice park. There isn't a beach, just rocks and then the ocean, so its not busy at all. You run a toothbrush over Leo's back as he sits in your lap. Coco sits by the water and growls every time a wave comes close. If she leaps in to attack its not a big deal. She can swim. If she can't you can withdraw her.
The world feels colder today and its not just because of the wind. As the egg wears off your mind is going back to normal. Which is good. Everything just feels… less. Emptier. There were always gaping holes and burning pains in your mind. Now they just feel bigger and colder. Like you were standing under a hot shower until you got used to it and turned up the heat so you'd still feel warm. And then you did it again and again before turning it back to a temperature that used to feel hot. Feel good. Except now it almost hurts.
You hate it.
You know its just the egg talking, but you hate it. You hate feeling the full weight of your brother's death, of his betrayal, of your betrayal of Pixie, of Alice and Searah and Renfield being lost. It would be so much easier not to feel them. Faker. You can't. You won't.
Someone walks closer on the concrete path. You can hear the click of their boots. Sounds like there's a heal. And the steps are a little too light for a man, anyway. Not too light or quick to be a kid. Woman. Her alarm goes off. It's a strange alarm starting with a high pitch and then going quickly between low and high notes. There's a constant hum through it all. You could imagine it in song. A string keeping the tense note. Maybe switch the rest to lyrics? Have the boys sing half of it while the girls sing the rest. One word each.
You've heard that weird alarm before. Just can't remember where. Miss, Mister, um, Lila, just Lila? Yeah, that seems right. You press out your mind to see if she's the one approaching but can't find her. Or any other psychics.
"This seat taken?" the woman asks. You don't recognize her voice. Kind of low and gruff. Not bad sounding.
"No." If she sees Coco and still wants to sit nearby that's her choice. And a good choice. Coco is a sweetie.
You go back to brushing Leo. Coco walks over and sniffs the new visitor before going back to the waves. New person doesn't overreact. Also a sign that she's a good person. Not, like, ethically. But in the ways that matter.
"I suppose I should get this out of the way," she finally says. "Name's Plumeria. I'm the boss of Team Skull." Your blood runs cold. You've seen the stuff the Skulls say about VStar. Even if you have nothing against what they're doing she might have a problem with you. And you're here alone. Exposed.
{Noci, come to me.}
{Initiate Ramming}
You have Coco, but Plumeria's supposedly a good trainer. Salazzle, crobat… you regret not reading more about her. Both of those are weak to rock and psychic—Leo squirms under your hands and you can feel him tensing up to get ready to bolt. You go back to brushing him in soft strokes. This is fine. You can act fine. Coco must sense your feelings because he growls, loudly, but doesn't come any closer. Good.
{Attack any pokémon she sends out,} you order her.
She growls back in response.
{Don't attack her.}
The growling stops.
"I like what you're doing," you tell Plumeria. "We don't need to get violent."
"You're right," she says breezily. If she's at all concerned it doesn't reach her voice. "We don't. I'm not here to fight, just to talk."
You relax a little. Your brushstrokes slow down and almost stop. Okay, you relaxed a lot. No reason to believe her but she's not attacking right now and she did tell you who she was when you had a tyrunt out. Seems like she does just want to talk.
"About VStar?"
"Eh. Sure, about them." What else would she even want to talk about? "You know how their last kid with a Class V ended up, right?" No, you don't. You don't know if you want to admit that. She'll probably tell you anyway. "Tried to steal a larvesta. Got burned to death. Had to use his teeth to identify him."
Oh. That's why Miss Bell wanted you to see a dentist.
"He got what he deserved. Trying to steal a grandchild of the sun." You wouldn't. You don't steal pokémon, ever. You just give them choices. If they choose to do what you want then you did nothing wrong. Tranquility even wanted to leave! You didn't have to convince her at all. You helped her.
She laughs. It's a very nice laugh. Wait, is her salazzle out? {Does she have a salandit out?} you ask Coco. Thankfully she knows what those smell like.
"No," she hisses. "Smells like one Kind of."
That explains that. And maybe it means that you are into girls? Or maybe you just like her voice. Doesn't have to be like that. Something to think about later.
"He had it coming. Glad we're on the same page." You can hear / feel her stretch out on the bench. Relaxed. Or pretending she's relaxed. "You still going to help them?"
"Yes." You have to. No one else will give you that kind of money.
"I get it. Really. I would die for my family, too." She knows about that? You haven't said it in any interviews. Maybe she stole records or something? "Have you thought about what happens if you sell your soul to them and they still can't find your family?"
You stiffen up again and press a hand down on Leo so he doesn't bolt. "Are you threatening them?" you mix some Draconic sounds into your voice. Turn it into a proper growl.
"Never." She sounds dead serious. You still don't like the threat. At all. "But it's been six months and they haven't found any of them, have they? Not even the swanna. Weird, isn't it?"
Anahuac isn't going to be easy for a foreign company, an American company to poke around in. You always knew that. In the end you'll probably have to go back there and hire detectives to find the rest of the team yourself. You just need them to keep an eye out for any getting sold outside the country.
"They're trying."
"Maybe." Neither of you speak. She must realize how far she's pushed you. And there's nothing left for you to say. Just the sound of the wind filling the silence.
{Arrived. Resume ramming?}
{No. Stand by.}
{Acknowledged.}
It still might not be enough against her, but it gives you confidence. Hope. Maybe you could get away if she attacked. Or if you attacked and lost.
"Is it better to believe a sweet lie or a bitter truth?" she finally asks. You stiffen up. She's wrong. You will get your team back. You have to.
"It's not a lie." It comes out more like a kid pleading with the gods then a statement of Truth. You ignore that. And how you'd been telling yourself that the truth was better than the lie all day but can't bring yourself to do it now. Because it's not a lie. It can't be. Plumeria ignores all of that too.
"I think about your cousin a lot." Another thing she shouldn't know. "'Is it better to believe a sweet lie or the bitter truth?' His words. He meant with pokémon. That shit wasn't perfect and we were just privileged enough to ignore it." We built a good world for ourselves. And for no one else. "I think about it here. The Americans pitch this wonderful lie to the tourists and the colonizers, that this is fine, that Alola means we should be kind and welcoming and shit. And then they turn around and tell us that if we just vote it can work out. No need to rock the boat. In case you do we have two aircraft carriers and a cruiser fleet parked in Hau'oli. Just in case you get any ideas. Big damn boats to rock."
She sighs. "Your cousin talked a big game. Burning everything down would be painful and we wouldn't know what came next. But it was better to have a chance at a better world than accept the one we lived in. Then he faltered. Lost. Ran away. And nothing got better for the pokémon."
You sort of want to stand up for your cousin, but she is right. He took the weight of the Ideal Dragon on his back and failed him. Then he ran away in shame. Like your ancestor did.
"These islands were made by a fire goddess, Our people were made by the sun. When the time comes I won't hesitate: I'll burn everything down and trust that the kānaka maoli will still be standing as the Americans burn away."
It's a good speech. You do hope that she isn't being literal. You're pretty sure that people don't work like that.
"When the time comes I'll need your help to light the fire. I hope you can answer your cousin's question by then." She stands up and you can hear her adjust a coat or jacket. "Until then, I won't stand in your way. But if you stand in mine I'll burn you away, too."
She walks away without attacking and you relax. Seems she just wanted to be cryptic. Maybe scare you away from VStar. She didn't. And you weren't planning on opposing her in the first place unless she put herself between you and your siblings.
What a waste of her time. You won't even think about what she suggested. It can't be true. You don't need more voids and tears in your soul.