chapter 5: new despair

"anyway, who wants to find the guy who killed turtle?" repeated goku, even though vegeta was still screaming. its ok nobody cared

"i'll go" said turtle. he attempted to get onto nimbus, BUT HE FELL THROUGH!

EVERYONE GASPED. "YOU ARENT PURE OF HEART, TURTLE?!" YELLED KRILLIN!

puar sobbed in yamchas arms. "IT CANT BE TRUE"

meanwhile piccolo seemed to just kind of be out of the loop. "huh"

rising up, master roshi (i hope youre not keeping track of whos supposed to be alive and not at this point because i sure arent) pointed at turtle and said "i mean yeah he's a damn liar"

turtle gasped. "i am?"

"how'd you NOT know tbh you said you were a mere turtle who couldnt fight but you DO have martial arts training."

piccolo blinked. "aaaand? goku knows martial arts. he probably has more martial arts in him than cells in his body but he's pure of heart"

goku, who was previously watching shocked as everyone else, turned around. "...i know times are tough. but i PROMISE you im not cell" he said this completely honest to god seriously

"...particularly when it comes to brain cells"

roshi waved a hand dismissively. "well, i wouldn't be so hasty to forgive turtle if i were you. he has ALSO said 'holy shit' in the past."

EVERYONE WAS SHOCKED! AGAIN! INCLUDING TURTLUe (who mustve not realized he swore before) there was a long silence until finally turtle said "i must go. it has been a good, long run my friends. but it is time for me to leave" and with that, he swam off into the ocean.

everybody stared for a few minutes. except for bulma who walked around from out back and said "hey guys what was going on? i was busy digging holes in roshis yard so he can trip over them"

the atmosphere was absolutely wretched. puar was passed out from shock, yamcha was cradling his cat friend, and piccolo did not really seem to care.

goku blinked "anyway, who wants to find the guy who killed turtle?"

krillin stared at the ground. "i dont know that whole interaction was kind of horrible and uncomfortable i dont know if i ever wanna do anything again after that. sorry goku. (also are you just like a broken record now? just making sure i've met people who had that happen to them. rest in piece 18…)"

meanwhile oolong rolled his eyes like "you bounced back awful fast goku. whats all that about huh"

goku made eye contact with oolong. "i may not show it but i am in deep mourning right now oolong. not acknowledging this situation is an active coping mechanism so i dont have to think about the pain of being betrayed by one of my oldest friends."

"wtf"

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"so anyway who wants to find the guy who killed turtle?"

piccolo got up off the ground, now recovered after eating the senzu bean. "i'll go" he said. "i'm one of the only people who has no debilitating emotional baggage about this"

puar woke up for two seconds to scream "I CANT BELIEVE YOU DONT CARE" before passing right back out.

bulma "what HAPPENED out here geez"

"...goku lets just go." piccolo grumbled flying up.

"wait" said gohan. "i'll go too. i have nothing else to do"

"this is now officially father son bonding time then!" said goku cheerfully

piccolo said (mainly to himself) "well hes trying i guess"

"you're a part of this too piccolo! lets gooo!"

"NO I AM NOT- ugh whatever" and so they flew off not prepared for what they would encounter

yamcha, lard beepus, and WHISper reached the hotspot of a BUCH of dragon balls and were hiding behind a bush, watching new frieza and his new army. they were doing evil things! like murder

"boy do i love committing murder ey new zarbon?" said the evil new menace.

new zarbon replied with "dont we all?"

"yes but i love doing it the most. no objecting to my statement" he said before chargin up some blasts to destroy like ten forests just for fun. all the plants and animals and people in them DIED and he laguhed about it because he's FUCKED UP

horrifiedly but not surprised, yamcha whispered "its terrible. we have to stop them!"

"BUT HOW?" SCREMED LARD BEEPUS NOT MINDING HIS VOLUME… AND ACCIDENTALLY ALERTING THE NEW VILLAINS!

NEW FREIZA AND HIS NEW ARMY TURNED AROUND AND SAW THEM! "HEY ITS THAT GUY WE SURROUNDED EARLIER!"

"UH OH!"

WHISper looked over at lead beepoisoning. "i told you to not shout..." he was sad and dissapointed but that didnt matter now because they were in HEAPS AND LOADS AND GALLONS OF TROUBLE

new frieza took one look at the scrappy bunch and sighed. "soldiers, you take care of this. this isnt worth my time." with that, he flew away.

"HE DOESNT EVEN THINK WERE WORTH HIS TIME D:" SAID BEEPUS before they all turned to face the guys who were about to attack them!

a guy working for frieza said "I EAT KITTENS FOR LUNCH EVERYDAY, EAT SAIYANS FOR BREAKFAST, AND GHOSTS FOR SUPPER"

yamcha said "ok first off. 2. you got the meal order wrong. 1. im not a saiyan. 3. ok now you're just making stuff up-" but then he was interrupted by BEING PUNCHED! "OW" he yelled.

"OH NO YAMCHA IS IN TROUBLE" SCR EAMED LARD BEEPUS! HE FLEW OVER AND STARTED FLAILING AT THE FRIEZA SOLDIERS FACE

"AH SHIT I CANT SEE" SCREAMED THE FREIZA SOLDIEr.

"GOOD. YAMCHA ATTACK HIM"

yamcha flew up towards the soldier. HE GRABBED THE GUY AND TOSeD HIM INTO THE OCEAN! "one down, 400 more to go"

LEERD BYPASS GASPED. "400!? WE CANT BEAT 400 REALLY STRONG GUYS"

but yamcha was ready to take all of them on! he started charging up a GIANT ENERGY BLAST! i perfected this technique in the future he thought to himself. "GET READY FOR MY WOLF FANG ULTIMATE BLAST!"

ALL OF THE NEW SOLDIERS SCREAMED! "NO NOT HIS FUTURE SIGNATURE ATTACK, THE WOLF FANG ULTIMATE BLAST!" THEY ALL RAN AWAY EXCEPT FOR ONE!

"pff, i can take a wolf fang ultimate blast. try something else and maybe i wont steal your lunch money. and your dragon balls"

yamcha said "youre bluffing. nobody can survive my wolf fang ultimate blast!" AND THEN HE FIRED IT! THE FORCE OF A TRILLION WOLVES WERE LAUNCHED ONTO HIS FOE! A HUGE CRATER HIDDEN BY DUST WAS CREATED BY IT! "see? nobody can-" SUDDENLY, YAMCHA GASPED! WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARED, THE FOE WAS STILL THERE!

"damn. so much for nobody can survive your wolf fang ultimate blast. try harder lol"

"NO WAY! HOW ARE YOU SO STRONG" SCREAMED LARD BEEEEB

"i suppose the better question is... how are you so weak?" the guy smirked.

yamcha looked over. "looks like im gonna have to use my full power" he charged up! "get ready... FOR MY FUTURE WOLF FANG FIST!" THE SKY WENT DARK! AND FOR A PLANET WITH 3 SUNS THAT IS AMAZING! WOLVES HOWLING RANG OUT THROUGH THE AIR!

the soldier seemed genuinely surlrised. "huh. havent heard of this one"

yamcha ignored the foe AND KEPT CHARGING HIS FISTS! AN AURA OF PURE WOLVES SURROUNDED HIM!

"GROSS" said lard beaaaaaaaaapu. "BUT COOL"

"HAAAH" YELLED YAMCHAHE SHOT FOWARD! THERE WAS A LOUD CRASHQ! THE PLACE WAS FILLED WITH DUST! "i told you i'd win" said yamcha proudly.

"YAYA YOU DID IT WOO!"

however WHISper frowned. "lets not celebrate too soon…" he pointed towards the dust as it cleared...

...AND THE FOE WAS STILL STANDING! "so. it seems you havent realized who i am yet?"

yamcha stared horrified. "i… i dont understand...how could you make it past that? it was my ultimate STRENGTH" said yamcha.

the soldier chuckled. "pathetic fools… you can't see what's right in front of you? you can't feel the darkness radiating from me? i'm am youre deepest darkest fears personified, yamcha." THE GUY SUDDENLY… SHAPESHIFTED! but they couldnt see what he looked like be cause he had a CLOAK ON

"i am what you call… the shadow of time."

"so piccolo, do you have any idea… what we're looking for?" asked gohan as they flew over the trees. "i kind of missed the entire memo"

piccolo replied "well, apparently the one who killed turtle looked like THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION, LORD BEERUS! but he was yellow and smaller than krillin. i'm honestly surprised you missed the explanation because you were conscious for at least several minutes longer than me"

"that's strange... maybe we could try rationalizing to put the pieces of this puzzle together!"

goku shrugged "eeehhhhh"

"yeah uh probably not" agreed piccolo

just as gohan was about to defend his reasoning, they spotted something below amongst the woods! it looked like…. THE LEGENDARY SUPER SAIYAN BROLY (not the dbs one) SCUTTLING ABOUT WITH SEVERAL GARBAGE BAGS IN HIS TEETH! HE SEEMED TO NOTICE SOMETHING ELSE IN ANOTHER DIRECTION AND RAN TOWARDS IT

"...aaand this is why we don't rationalize things gohan"

goku said "hey, maybe we should follow him!"

"goku."

"piccolo"

"goku. WHY."

"well, we all know broly never stays in one place for long so those garbage bags probably arent his!"

"goku. what could POSSIBLY be worth following broly for."

"...i mean, it might be the beerus lookalike…?"

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gohan raised his hand. "i probably shouldnt add anything to this huh" he lowered his hand again

"UUUGH FINE LETS JUST GO." said piccolo begrudgingly before they all went after broly.

when they reached their destinitation, they saw a child chasing off broly with a broomstick! "BROLY STOP eaTING MY gARBAGE" his voice was weird and warbly like an audacity vibrato filter. broly hissed before flying off and the kid crossed his arms with satisfaction. "hopefully this time he'll have learned his lesson" he said to himself.

sudenly the kid became aware of the group. he had short purple spiky hair a tail and was wearing an outfit made of trash. he stared at them all with wide eyes. "OMG SOCIETAL INTERACTION"

just then, the gang also noticed something else…. behind the strnage child was something that looked to be…. TRUNKS' TIME MACHINE?!

BEEPUS, WHISper AND YAMCHA LOOKED ON AT THE SHADOW OF TIME IN HORROR!

"NO WAY… HOW DID YOU FIND US SO FAST?" stutered yamcha completely caught off guard by the revelation!

the shadow of time laughed evilly. "you said it yourself yamcha… im a master of disguise. (went 2 shapeshifting school when i was younger) and i have the ability to go across ALL OF TIME…. you're NEVER safe"

"i dont know how he does it…." muttered yamcha grimly to himself before looking back up. "why!? why do you get your sick kicks in murdering people for no reason!?"

"i bet youd like to know lmao"

"OH NO! HES AVOIDING OUR QUESTIONS" SCREAMED LARD BEEPUS. "WHAT DO WE DO!"

yamcha looked at his hands panickedly like he was trying to think of something to do but in reality he couldnt think of ANYTHING! the shadow of time had never been beaten before by ANYONE… not even yamcha's whole team COMBINED! just he, beepus, and WHISper would never be able to stop him…..!

before yamcha could even try to say any reassuring quips or something, THE SHADOW OF TIME PLANTED…. A BUNCH OF SEEDS...?

LARD BEAPUS WAILED IN SHOCK AND HORROR! "GARDENING! NO!"

the shadow of time flatly stared at him, baffled. "actually im… planting saibamen. what's your problem"

"I'M LARD BEEPUS wait so whats a cyber man"

meanwhile, yamcha was staring in horror as the seeds grew into HUMANOID GREEN CREATURES! "the bane of my existance…." he clenched his fists, turning to the shadow of time. "IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE?! HOW WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT-"

the shadow of time interrupted to direct the saibamen. "ok. listen up. you see the spiky haired dumbass over there? take care of him first itll be funny and ironic. after that do whatever you want with the…. weird cat and ghost" after he said that, he vanished in a cloud of darkness.

WHISper raised his fist withi anger. "i'll have you SCOUNDRELS KNOW i'm a YOKAI and this is my FAITHFUL STUDENT LARD BEEPUS, AND-"

yamcha quickly said "-UH I THINK WE'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS ON OUR HANDS!"

THE SAIBAMEN ALL RAN OVER TO YAMCHA AND CLUNG ONTO HIS BACK! "AAAAAAHHHHH" HE YELLED. HE ATTEMPTED TO BLAST THEM AWAY WITH A DEFENSIVE PULSE OF KI BUT THEY LATCHED BACK ON NEAR INSTANTLY! "NO… i guess…. this is it….." the saiba mans began to GLOW BRIGHTLY!

with the strength he had, YAMCHA TOSSED A TINY CAPSULE OVER TO LARD BEEPUTS, WHO JUST BARELY CAUGHT IT. "YAMCHA WHAT IS THIS DO I EAT IT?"

"uh, no- look! im not going to be able to beat these guys- YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE, AND DONT LET THE SHADOW OF TIME GET HOLD OF THAT CAPSULE! USE WHAT'S INSIDE TO SAVE THE MULTIVERSE!" THE SAIBAMEN OF HIS BACK BEGAN GLOWING! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

LEED BEEPS WATCHED IN FEAR! "WAIT WHAT?! YAMCHA NO I DONT GET IT-" HE WAS ABOUT TO RUN OVER, BUT WHISper PULLEDD HIM AWAY! before the little cat could react he lead beepus to another cave where they ducked to hide!

LAD BIPPS PEEKED OUT OF THE CAVE, AND SAW A GIANT EXPLOSION IN THE DISTANCE.