chapter 8: your timing is off

as he said, trunks began to explain the shadow of time to the newcomers. "the shadow of time is a dangerous entity that has destroyed thousands of timelines… this is only one of them. he's on a mission to destroy all of time, but right now… we aren't strong enough to stand a chance against even his 'soldiers.' if you all hadn't showed up when you did..."

"we would've died, yadda yadda, hurry up with your explanation we dont have all day." interupted the saiyan who insulted trunks earlier.

lard beepus pointed at him. "WHAT IS THAT GUYS NAME"

"...my name is oleracea. why"

"I WANT TO PUNCH YOU OLERACEA"

"dont"

"OKAY"

meanwhile the guys in the present were waiting at kame house bc they had nothing better to do ig. "uggghhhhh how long are they gonna take" aksed oolong.

puar said "be patient they could be fighting the knockoff GOD OF DESTRUCTION, LORD BEERUS!"

"oh COME ON theres no WAY theyre fighting. if they were the ground would be shaking. and if goku's power boost is anything to go by then we'd also be feeling it right now." when oolong mentioned goku everyone heard vegeta clench his jaws audibly

"oolong" puar turned to oolong. "how long do you expect to survive past this point? answer honestly please!"

"nobody knows who the shadow of time is, or what his motives are. but what we do know is that he'll stop at nothing to get his way… even following someone to the ends of time." finished trunks. "he… also outlawed fun, or.. something? yeah im not sure what that was all about."

goku gasped. "that's the evil cherry on top…"

meanwhile piccolo and gohan "what"

apparently lard beepus was just going to take that last thing at face value. "THATS HORRIBLE! ….WHAT DOES THE SHADOW OF TIME HAVE TO DO WITH ME THOUGH? IM JUST A BABY BOY"

trunks said "one day, we recieved an mysterious tip from someone, who claimed a person from another time was fated to save everyone… and that person is you, lard beepus."

"we got it in my email. it was in my spam folder!" usefully added belle to help clarify things

piccolo narrowed his eyes. "that… doesn't sound promising. are… you really betting all your hopes on junk mail."

"yes? :3"

"oh god."

gohan was just as horrified by this as his mentor. "t-trunks… please tell me you have more to go off of than this."

"THATS WHAT I SAID!" added oleracea, throwing his hands up in the air frustratedly. "EXACTLY WHAT I SAID."

conveniently preventing any further explanation, lard beeps said "WOW if a SPAM MESSENGER thinks im cool i must BE FAMOUS! i think it has to be true. anyway how do i become strengths i wanna become the new GOD OF DESTRUCTION"

that sure cut the conversation cold! basically everyone stared at beepus. "you want to do what"

"i said i wanna get really strong!"

"oh ok phew"

OOLONG WAS LAYING ON THE GROUND DYING. EVERYONE PANICKED

"PUAR NO" SCREAMED YAMCHA. HIS HEART WAS BROKEN. HIS OWN CAT(?) FRIEND (who was gay) HAD COMMITTED MURDER. "PUAR WE CANT BRING HIM BACK AGAIN! HES DEAD FOR GOOD"

bulma turned to yamcha. "well i mean we could use the namekian dragon balls but..." she glanced over at oolongs corpse. "i dont think its worth it"

puar shrugged "eeeehhh he'll probably come back on his own or something. roshi did it earlier"

completely uninterested in the matter, vegeta SCREAMED. "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING IGNORED AND WAITING FOR KAKAROT! I WILL DEAL WITH THIS MYSELF!"

yamcha stared at vegeta. "are... you just gonna ignore the fact that oolong is dead"

"YES!" and with that, vegeta flew off.

roshi looked at oolongs dead body. "can someone clean this up"

beepus curled his tail cutely. "SO HAVE YOU HEARD OF THESE COOL THINGS ON PLANET NEW NAMEK. THEY ARE CALLED DRAGON BALLS AND MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP MY STRENGHT PROBLEM as you can see right now im a frail little man and cant fight THE SHADOW OF TIME yet.. if we wished on the dragonballs in BOTH timelines then i could get TWO TIMES AS BUFF"

"ah- i mean. i guess that could work…? but new namek was blown up in this timeline. there's supposed to be dragon balls on earth too, but the piccolo of this timeline has been dead for years, so… they don't work anymore." said trunks. "al;so kamis lookout got vaporised"

"OK SO THEN WE JUST NEED TO WISH ON BOTH SETS OF DRAGON BALLS FROM MY TIMELINE"

Gorg… however was focused on more urgent matters. "vaporised… idk what that word means DONT YOU MEAN VAPORWAVE. VAPORWAVE CAN EXPLODE THINGS IN HEAVY CONCENTRATIONS (i know ive seen it happen)" said Gorg...

"...uh. whats vaporwave?" asked trunks confusededly

"EXCUSE ME" SCREAMED LARD BEEPUS IN HORROR. "YOU DONT KNOW WHAT VAPORWAVE IS?"

"no...?"

"THE FUTURE IS A HORRIBLE PLACE!"

somewhere else in a city in a DIFFERENT future, a purple haired half-saiyan with a VERY small face... sat in his apartment room, staring out the window. the view outside was of the gorgeous tokitoki city, a hub of all things chronological and home to the powerful time patrol: the warriors working under the supreme kai of time herself in order to protect history. this young man was Gorg…, who just so happened to be one of these crucial defenders of the past, present and future. too bad he hated time (just like, the entire concept.)

Gorg… suddenly sensed something- or rather, someone manifest behind him. "Gorg. What are you doing here, neglecting your responsibilities. Trunks won't be very happy." an echoey voice called out to him with monotone resentment.

Gorg... sighed. there was only ONE thing he hated more than time... "welch's i thought you didnt care what trunks had to say. if you did you wouldve left the time patrol a LONG time ago" replied Gorg..., not bothering to even look at the other patroller.

welch's seemed unaffected by Gorg...'s statements. "It's a game for me, Gorg. If I leave, you win. I will not leave until you inevitably die in a brutal time patrol accident. Which you will. (Besides. They know having me here is the only way to contain me.)"

"and what if i DONT die huh"

the baby blue majin clipped through the floor in front of him to stare at him ominously. "Then i will kill you myself."

another person rushed into the room (the apartment door was left open for some reason. Gorg… realized he should probably stop doing that but he was likely going to forget moments later) "hey so id rather you NOT fight and destroy tokitoki"

welch's turned around. "And what do you think you are going to do, Cilantra. What are you gonna do about it."

"...well shit i dont know? i guess i could tell the supreme kai of time or fructose"

"The only thing preventing me from murdering Gorg is my desire to have him live the rest of his days in immense hatred and fear. Because I am around constantly, with him unable to get rid of me. He hates me, and I hate him. This will never change. Do not get involved in what does not pertain to you, Cilantra."

"...well i guess i dont have a choice huh"

"You don't."

for once, Gorg.. actually agreed with we;lchs. this sucks balls