Strandpiel Book Two
Chapter Twenty-One
The Chirm Project
Every so often this will overlap The Price of Flight where the events of that story will be revisited, but from a different direction.
As always, this is V0.01. Revisions et c will inevitably follow.
Okay, picking up from the monster of a last chapter and trying to incorporate reader feedback regarding "long chapters are great but aren't being posted quickly enough."
This chapter two was a monster in its original form and ran into 17,000 words. So I'm editing and splitting it down into shorter sections.
I mean. I want to get back to Haartebeeste, the haunting and the issue of unwanted advances with scissors. People are reminding me and dropping hints. I am writing this. honestly It is getting impatient to find its way on the page. Just figuring out how the Air Witches will be involved. They will be. And it will be the big guns – Olga, Irena and Nadezhda.
Justnow Nadezhda has other worries. She is going to get skilled advice on them.
Quote: "My writing, at least for the first draft, is entirely instinctive as I watch the movie in my head, and only during the second draft do I close in on what I mean to say." (Terry Pratchett, "A Genuine Absent-Minded Professor") - I like this. With these long chapters this is an aspect of TP that I can learn from.
Let's see if I can keep it short but relevant… starting with another aspect of the expanding and evolving Discworld, possibly fifteen to twenty years after the point where Terry had to leave off writing the books for unavoidable personal reasons. (Question… if a spirit medium called Rosemary Brown claims to be chanelling long-dead composers like Beethoven, Liszt and Schubert and according to music critics is better at it than you might think… where is the spirit medium who can collaborate with TP on new books? After all, Mrs Brown has got the musical equivalent of fan-fic going on, and at least her muses are out of copyright…)
Also experimenting with leaving the dialogue in un-messed-about-with English, when "South African" characters are talking; hopefully everybody's got the idea by now about the iccent, sorry, accent. So I'm doing minimal vowel-shifting in this one, especially in Johanna's speech. Maybe just enough to get the idea over that "Morporkian" is still not her first language.
So we begin with another change which time and new circumstances are forcing on the world of Witchcraft.
At 18 Spa Lane, Nap Hill, Ankh-Morpork, on a rainy Wednesday afternoon in February.
Five women from different backgrounds and professions sat around a table drinking tea. As serious thinking was called for, a selection of sandwiches and small sweet cakes had been provided to aid the flow of ideas. In the opinion of two of them, it was perhaps a little too early for stronger aids to reflective thought. A third had demurred on this but had accepted that she was in uniform and on duty, attending a conference on a matter to do with her Air Watch command. Nichevo, vodka can wait.
"Is it true," Johanna Smith-Rhodes asked, "that there's now some sort of formal committee of senior Witches who make decisions and control how witchcraft works around the Disc? I've heard Bekki and some of the younger girls talking about this."
"And what do they say?" Olga Romanoff asked.
"Es I remember, at the Witch Trials last summer, Bekki and some of her particular friends were eating with us – you know the way Dorothea always packs twice as much food as you actually need, so we were sharing it out. Sophie and Apricity, and some of the others she trained with. Apparently the young Witches speculate there's a sort of committee. Meets at Nanny Ogg's and makes the big decisions. Mistress Tiffany Aching is in charge, naturally."
"Naturally." Olga agreed. Johanna noted Olga's face had gone, suddenly, very poker and inscrutable. Very Rodinian. So had Nadezhda's.
"And what did Rebecka think about this?" Olga inquired.
"She wasn't sure." Johanna admitted. "Bekki pointed out she didn't think Witchcraft works like that. She also said she'd watched her father, and how Wizards do things. She pointed out that Wizards live for committees and formal structures and grades and hierarchies and stuff, but have you seen the Faculty? Just because her father and her grandfather are who they are, doesn't mean the other Wizards don't disagree and argue and fight with them. She also said "Just ask Dad about a typical Faculty meeting."
"Da." Olga agreed. "Up to three hours of arguing, and perhaps two minutes of actual useful discussion. Or so Eddie tells me. And Rebecka then said to them, to imagine a room full of older Witches, trying to agree on something?"
Johanna nodded.
Olga and Nadezhda grinned.
"A very clever girl, Firebird." Nadezhda remarked. "Thoughtful. She observes. Closely. Then she thinks, before speaking out loud."
"Gets it from her father, I suspect." Johanna said. She also tried not to look too smugly proud.
"Da." Olga agreed. "Rebecka, I believe, is not going to be a leader. She can do the leadership thing, if nobody else steps forward. But I believe she will be one who advises leaders. And well. This is a rare skill. I want to bring this out in her, when she serves with the Air Watch." Olga paused. "But anyway. This business about the Committee of Senior Witches."
She smiled, very slightly.
"We are Witches. We are not Wizards. We have no hierarchy, no structure, no formal progression through levels. But it is true to say that there are senior Witches. Those who have experience, those who have special skills or talents, those who other Witches acknowledge as the best in their fields. Tiffany Aching is first among equals. Nanny Ogg has achieved, and she has maintained, the even more difficult feat of being regarded as second among equals. Periodically, Nanny Ogg invites people round for a social cup of tea. Tiffany, who by the way was in the training coven that included myself and Irena Politek, tends to call by for these social chats. Other Witches, such as Mrs Earwig, attend because you simply cannot keep them away. There is also Magrat, Queen of Lancre. It is possible representatives from the City Circuit, which is growing in size and importance, might choose to visit Lancre for a couple of days holiday in the countryside. Mrs Proust, for instance. There is also Miss Perspicacia Tick, who tours the Disc seeking out new talent. She also has the function of bringing news and reports from witches, and Witch-like people, elsewhere on the Disc, for instance from the Voudou practitioners of Genua, should she have been out that way."
Olga paused, and sipped her tea.
"Occasionally, I myself have been invited to attend. We discuss events in the wider Disc and ask fundamental questions, like "how does this affect Witches?" Then we might make suggestions as to how we should respond. Adapt, if adaptation proves necessary. We think ahead."
Olga smiled.
"It is true that if any Pegasus Service witch visits Lancre Town, I insist as a point of protocol and politeness that she drops in at Nanny Ogg's and introduces herself. If during such visits the business of the wider Disc is discussed, then I see no concern."
Olga sipped her tea again and reached for a small chocolate fancy cake.
"But to say this is a direct equivalent of the University Faculty is wrong. We have no structure or formal hierarchy, for one thing. While we train young Witches, we do not have a university."
"But like Wizards, you argue." Yelena Garianova remarked.
Olga smiled.
"Oh, we do that. Another word for a gathering of Witches is an argument. Synonymous with "coven"".
Ethylene Glynnie frowned.
"But for somebody in a profession with no formal structure and only the loosest sort of ranking, you are also the commanding officer of the Air Watch?" she asked.
Olga smiled. This was one people always asked.
"I didn't ask to be." she said, perfectly reasonably. "When Irena and I were given the offer to fly full-time as part of the City Watch, we started off, like anyone else, as Lance-Constables. After that, well, things just grew."
She nodded to Nadezhda Popova.
"The service grew. What can I say? Irena and I were the first and for a while the only Air Witches. I sometimes suspect that today, the only reason why I am a Captain and she is a Lieutenant is because we have been here longest. If things had gone the other way and Irena had flown an eventful mission to Howondaland one day, Vetinari might have promoted her, rather than me, to Sergeant.(1) If Irena had received that first promotion, then today, who knows, there might be Captain Politek and Lieutenant Romanoff."
Olga sighed.
"Nichevo." she said, resignedly. "But by then, more pilots were arriving. Nadezhda Veranovna, for instance. Nottie Garlick. Hanna von Strafenberg. And others. Vetinari was right. We had joined the Air Watch. We wore its uniforms. We were subject to Watch orders. To Watch structures. And we had volunteered, which I think is the key. Nobody forced any of us. So we became a new thing. Witches in uniform with a clear and distinct rank structure."
"Da." Nadezhda agreed. "Uniforms are a kind of magic. And I have discovered three stripes on each arm is a sort of magic spell. People are less inclined to make argument. Is boffo, perhaps."
"We recruit people who love to fly, who want to fly, who want to spend all their time around flying." Olga said. "The price of that flight is the uniform and the structure. Therefore a new thing has emerged. Witches, who of their own free will, join a hierarchy and obey orders. Because they get unlimited flight on the very best technomancy. Perhaps dealing with technomancy and flying magics makes us think and act more like Wizards, who knows?"
Olga sighed, resignedly.
"The profession of Witchcraft has changed over the last few decades. There is indeed a part of Witchcraft with ranks and a formal hierarchy. I command it. But that is not the only change, and this is why we're here today."
Nadezhda nodded, and looked thoughtful.
"Da." she said. "In old days, a witch took a pupil. And taught her. The pupil grew older. She then took a pupil. No need for university. A chain. Like matryoshka dolls. Witch to witch."
"The stacking dolls." Johanna said, thoughtfully. "Need to talk to you about that, Olga."
"It's a good picture." Olga said. "Part of the power of the dolls, Johanna. But the Air Watch is a part of the change in witchcraft over the last, perhaps, thirty years. The old Witches in Lancre realised they were dwindling. Increasing in power, but getting smaller in numbers, getting older. Only one new pupil witch, Magrat Garlick, had emerged in Lancre. Mrs Ogg realised there had to be change and she sought to persuade Granny Weatherwax… mayhersoulhavemercyontheGods… of this. Or witchcraft would dwindle even further."
Olga sipped her tea.
"Lancre, the land, and its people, are linked in so many ways. The land itself recognised, maybe, the need for new witches. New Defenders. Maybe it manipulated one who we shall not name here, to put the idea into the head of a girl, who called herself Diamanda, to recruit a coven of teenage girls. While the three Lancre Witches were away and the region had no Witches at all, no Defenders, a teenage coven emerged, believing itself to be self-taught, but one guided by…" Olga touched the steel of her breastplate "…Elves. There was strife. After that, even Granny Weatherwax… mayhersoulhavemercyontheGods… realised things must change. The best girls of the Diamanda coven, such as Agnes Nitt, were trained as novice Witches, this time under strict supervision. It was recognised that perhaps the land itself, the rodina which is Lancre, had chosen them, to meet the need. A new training coven was formed, so girls with aptitude might be steered and guided, this time by the right people."
"Da, because the one thing you do not want is for Witch to emerge who has had no guidance. Girl with magic power who we do not know about and cannot steer." Nadezhda added.
The three Assassins listened and looked thoughtful.
"Like having a self-taught Assassin who the Guild doesn't know about." Ethylene Glynnie remarked. "The reason why we have the Mature Student course. To bring them aboard and under Guild law."
She looked at Johanna. Johanna shrugged. But she understood perfectly. She in her time had been a selected Mature Entrant.
Yelena Garianova frowned slightly.
"And uncontrolled magic is potentially far worse than unlicenced Assassination. More destructive." she said. "So witchcraft had to accept there must at some level be structure. The older Witches had to organise, against their inclinations, training for larger numbers of pupils. Thus, the thing you call the Circuit."
"Da. The Circuit. At this time, girls with potential, such as Tiffany Aching and Petulia Gristle, were accepted for training. Maybe ten of them, from Lancre and the Chalk. At this time, Irena and I had been receiving informal training at home, in Krapovits Oblast in Zlobenia, from the witch Natalya Svetlanovna. A visiting witch arrived, from a strange foreign country. Miss Perspicacia Tick took us to Lancre with her where we joined that training coven, older foreign girls arriving later who, shall we say, didn't quite fit. We were the first."
"I think I get you." Johanna said. "Witchcraft also realised it wasn't just about local girls from Lancre and the Chalk who spoke Morporkian as a first language. It's worldwide. Everywhere has its local tradition and outlook. The older Witches couldn't afford to be local any more. The world was suddenly too small."
She paused and reflected
"And by then, Nanny Ogg and the others had been to Genua and back. The whole length of the Central Continent."
"Da. We didn't see it, it was before Natalya took us as pupils, but I understand the Lancre witches stayed with Natalya for a few days on their flight back. Our teacher was, figuratively, one of the elephants they saw. Quite possibly not the only one."
Olga observed the imperfectly concealed wince as Johanna heard the word elephants, and smiled to herself. There were indeed elephants in the room. She was planning things to do with them. But that was for another time. Not to be spoken of here. Yet.
"I can see that." Ethylene Glynnie said. "They met the local witches, or nearest thing to, in Genua. The voudou people. It would have opened their eyes to the way other people do Witchcraft. And as they took the long unhurried way home, who knows how many Witchcraft traditions they encountered?"
"At least they had a little exposure to Rodinian ways of thought." Olga said, drily. "It helped. Later."
"It helped me too." Nadezhda said. "The babiuschka Sofya Blankovna took me as pupil in Siber'yan tradition of Witchcraft. I had heard of place called Lancre. I wished to see it. So I persuaded Yuri, and we rode together from Siber'ya. No children then, we could see world. Was there as witch, learning Morporkian. Met Olga Anastacia. Learnt to fly. Loved it. Went to Ankh-Morpork after, and joined Air Watch."
"And that was the next big thing that changed Witchcraft." Olga said. "Far from being in a position where there were not enough new Witches, we got to be too good at finding them, Not only from Lancre, the Chalk and the Sto Plains. From everywhere. All the places that had potential Steadings, but no witch, are now covered. We are getting more young witches than there are Steadings. And we also realised that not every young witch is temperamentally suited for Steading work. Yet we still have a duty of care, to identify, select and support girls with natural Magic. The problems an undetected and untrained girl with magic could cause, well, we wish to avoid that. At least it is now accepted that a witch may train and then move into a salaried job where she earns a living doing something else, and perhaps uses her Witch skills when there is a need."
"Queen Magrat." Nadezhda said. "She was the first. A Queen who is also Witch. Then Agnes Nitt, opera singer."
"Da." Olga agreed. "Your more specialised keepers at the Zoo, Johanna. Witches who work with animals. And, of course, us. The Air Watch."
"And so to the City Circuit." Johanna said, thoughtfully. "How many girls are in formal training here in Ankh-Morpork?"
"At present, ten." Olga said. "They divide their time between learning the everyday things of the working Witch alongside the established City practitioners they have been assigned to, and for part of their week they come to us at the Air Watch where they learn how to fly, and such other useful skills as we can teach. As always, each has a sponsoring Witch who brought her to the Craft and with whom she spends time. In the older days, she would have been the pupil's only teacher. But the world has moved on, and witchcraft has moved with it. Today a student moves between supervising Witches, each having a different outlook and different skills. The Circuit."
Ethylene Glynnie considered this.
"So, your Air Cadets." she said. "The Fledglings."
Nadezhda Veranovna Popova looked sterner and somehow solider.
"Da. Fledglings." she said. "My operational responsibility."
The four others contemplated Mother Hen together. The Air Cadets were not just a job assignation to her. Nadezhda looked after them with a fierce motherly pride and a sense of vocation. At any given time at the Air Station, there could be two or three of them, watching, learning, working, being an accepted part of the set-up and the ethos of the Air Watch. Even if the assigned job was the essential witch skill of Mucking Out The Stables, usually alongside the ever-present Sophie Rawlinson, the accepted go-to person with regard to things equine. If a girl had been adopted by a Pegasus as new mounts emerged, she came to the Air Watch. Always. Sophie in her time had arrived this way. As, Johanna reflected, had Bekki. It was understood. Bekki had been an informal Fledgling for three years and had left for training in Lancre just before the Air Cadet system had formally emerged. But her daughter had been so thoroughly absorbed into the Air Watch that formally joining it, at age sixteen, had been pretty much the full stop at the end of a paragraph.
"This leads us to another change witchcraft must confront." Olga said. "Especially in the urban circuit. Which is why we're asking for your advice."
"This is a change in itself." Yelena observed. "Witches asking for other peoples' advice."
"Wouldn't have happened in the old days." Johanna agreed.
Olga scowled for a moment. Then she smiled. It was still fair comment.
"Da. We are changing to meet new realities. And one reality, for which Nadezhda and I are responsible, is the welfare of those ten girls. The novice witches on the Ankh-Morpork circuit. In older times, a girl might begin the Craft at eleven or even younger. Her supervising Witch would then provide practical training in all those things that prepare a witch for Steading life. All the things of Witchcraft. Practical training in skills and outlook. For a long time, for hundreds or thousands of years, this sufficed. But things are changing. This city is not what it was even forty years ago, for instance. Change has accelerated. Forty years ago, how many girls got a formal education? Today it is accepted that a girl can attend school until she is fifteen or sixteen, or even older."
"I get you." Johanna said. "You're pulling girls out of that formal education system at eleven to become witches. While girls of the same age are formally educated. You're asking if this is right, or proper, or even if it's going to blow back on you in the long run."
"Da. Girls of sixteen whose formal school education ended at ten or eleven. In a world where everyone else receives some sort of common standard. Therefore, they are behind their peers by several years. This concerns me."
Ethylene Glynnie looked thoughtful and reflective.
"There is an issue here." she said. "Forty years ago it might not have mattered too much. But Ankh-Morpork has grown and advanced. Its technologies, and perhaps its technomancies, have advanced considerably. Just to live here, let alone work and thrive, demands a basic level of knowledge which outstrips that thought necessary several decades ago. To get a reasonable job in this city demands basic literacy and mathematical skills and often some sort of ability with machinery. The common ground has shifted. I understand why the Patrician has insisted Education is key, and why he has quietly funded better and more schools. Or, to be more precise, got other people to fund and establish them. I understand when Vetinari started out, the Guild of Teachers was considered a joke and treated with understanding and kindness by other Guilds.(2) Look at it now."
Yelena Garianova agreed.
"It would not look good for one major profession, which is establishing itself here as a vocation for girls, to be seen as neglecting education for its members." she agreed. "Witchcraft would stand out, for the wrong reasons. After all, Wizards have the University. From talking to Professor Stibbons, I know the University also sponsors lower schools in the wider area, which teach the normal range of subjects, which are not Wizarding schools in any way, but prepare suitable boys to become student Wizards. Lord Vetinari, perhaps, might ask the senior Witches in this City why general education for novice witches is neglected."
Olga and Nadezhda looked at each other. There was a suspicion of wince. The spill-words No Great Rush loomed unspoken, the iceberg in the room. Even the three non-Witches could sense the chill.
"So what specific problems have you seen in your girls?" Johanna asked. "Any big gaps, anything you really need to work on?"
"My new Pegasus Service girls." Olga said. "A Pegasus, newly foaled, chooses its Witch. That Witch and her Pegasus then, by established protocol, come to me. I train them, intensively, for the Service. Often over a period of years. Two such girls are in the City Circuit now. Their Pegasi are safely stabled at the Air Station."
Olga sighed.
"The Pegasus chooses a Witch. The bond is made. The Witch comes to me. This is where Education is not only desirable, it becomes mandatory."
"Ah. The Pegasus does not necessarily select a girl who is a perfect fit for the Air Watch." Ethylene observed. "It may not be considering the future operational needs of the Pegasus Service at the time it makes its choice."
Olga nodded.
"Exactly." she said. "Let me paint the picture. A girl whose formal education ended at eleven years old, because she has gone to Lancre to become a Witch, suddenly finds she is bonded to a Pegasus, perhaps when she is aged about thirteen. She comes to me. In the course of training in the Air Watch, I and others are inducting her in what the Pegasus Service does. I invite her to look at the map of the world and locate, perhaps, the city of Astrakhan Peren in Kazakhstan, or Pratoria in Rimwards Howondaland, and then to tell me the approximate distance to both cities. This is even before we introduce the concept of time zones and relative time and set practical exercises, such as what time to leave Ankh-Morpork so as to arrive in Astrakhan by eleven o'clock local time."
Olga sighed. Nadezhda looked stern.
"Right now, I have a girl in training who can tell you everything about Blondograd and its surrounding oblast in great and proud detail, as if she learned it from a tourist guide. She probably did. She has lived in Lancre and recently came to Ankh-Morpork. She knows a version of Rodinian history which has some truth, but is horribly skewed and in many respects wrong. Ask her to identify the Skaggeraks or Hergen on the world atlas, and she flounders. For this reason I hesitate to allow her to fly anything other than exercise missions for her Pegasus, and so far she has been on only one informal flight with others, under close supervision. I can't use her for anything more active until she has been acceptably educated. And she is not the only one."
Olga sighed again.
"The world has moved on. For so many reasons, young witches need an acceptable standard of general education. My operational requirement is for pilots who can, for instance, calculate times, distances, speeds, estimated times of arrival, who have at least a passable working knowledge of flight technomancy. Good basic mathematics and some physics. This knowledge is patchy among my pilots. Even those who attended secondary schooling for some years can have gaps in their knowledge."
Johanna sighed.
"Bekki's blind spot." she said, resignedly. "She cannot do the relative time thing. Mariella said she was aiming at arriving in Howondaland at ten at night but got there at one in the morning."
"It will come." Olga said, smoothing it over. "Bekki, by the way, is ferociously bright and possibly the very best educated of my younger pilots. But even she left school at fourteen. Sophie Rawlinson had two years at the Quirm School for Girls but had to leave aged thirteen. When she caught magic."
The group considered this. Tea was sipped. The dwindling supply of cakes became even smaller. In the background, the attentive Claude nodded to Blessing, who went to the kitchen.
"They say good education is human right." Nadezhda observed. "I have concern for my fledgelings. They should have chance to go to some sort of school, like other girls. The old ways are now not enough."
"The difficulty, as I see it, is that this has to be fitted around all the other things a young Witch should learn and is being schooled in." Ethylene Glynnie remarked. "Another case of there not being enough hours in the day. From a practical point of view, basic literacy and numeracy are absolutely essential. Building blocks for all the rest."
"Da." Nadezhda agreed. "I was at stanitsa school in my homeland. This gave good basic teaching. Even a little Morporkian. A very little. Crazy alphabet you people use. Teacher explains most of rest of world uses this, like Hubsvensskans and crazy Swommi people who are our neighbours. So we should learn to read it at least. Sound the letters. Also, when taught to read, started to read books. All books. For pleasure of reading. That, also important."
Nadezhda took a reflective sip of her tea. She frowned.
"Although Leonid Tolstori, Война и не только Война.(3) That, hard going. Like running long Ephebian race."
"Rodinians are a literate people." Ethylene agreed.
Yelena agreed.
"This is something for later, with my Guild class." she remarked. "However, Rodinian Literature and poetry is a rich subject I will be covering as my students get better at the language. Teaching our culture is as important as the language. Without the culture, something is missing, when you learn the language. The two are linked. Always. Olga Anastacia, in the Pegasus Service, you must require your pilots to have an understanding of cultures, so as to be effective in what you do? And this must require learning, training, awareness?"
"This is why I send Pegasus missions in pairs." Olga agreed. "An experienced Service pilot, one who knows the route, the peoples, and local customs, takes a trainee with her. The trainee is not expected to participate in any discussions or diplomacy but is required to watch, be attentive, and learn. This is a necessarily long apprenticeship. Rebecka Smith-Rhodes, for instance, is under the direct instruction of Hanna von Strafenberg. Hanna is pleased with her, Johanna. I know Hanna isn't given to open displays of approval or pleasure in a pupil, but this is the case."
Olga sighed.
"General education delivered to current Cadets would speed this, make the apprenticeship a little less lengthy."
"So you come to us, as professional teachers." Johanna said, getting to the point. "To ask for advice and practical help."
"Exactly." Nadezhda said. "We need new thing, never done before. Witch school."
They set about discussing the practicalities and what was needed. Olgas looked up, and noted it was beginning to rain outside. Such cloud as she could see was getting to be quite dark and grey. She frowned.
"Please excuse me a moment." she said. "Air Watch business."
She activated her communicator.
"Syren calling Valkyrie. Syren to Valkyrie. Come in, Valkyrie. Over."
~~ Valkyrie responding. Go ahead, Syren. Over.
Olga noted the background sounds being picked up by the communicator. It did sound as if there was a lot of rain in the air.
"I require a situation report and an estimated arrival time for your return. In particular, what is the meteorological situation? Over."
~~ Valkyrie reporting. Report visual sighting of Ankh-Morpork, Syren. We will be over City airspace in exactly fifteen minutes. Our approach will be over the docks at Chavham and then bearing three-thirty to the Air Station. It is raining quite heavily and there is nine-tenths cloud. We are at quarter-angel but I will shortly order a climb to half-angel as we approach the docks where there will be hazards to low-level flight. We will then be flying inside cloud and I will order sensible precautionary measures. Have you any additional instructions, Syren? Over.
"Syren to Valkyrie. And to Red Star Control. Get everyone under cover, hot drinks, and allow time for a change into dry clothes. Allow Firebird to go off shift and instruct her to come and see me. Who's volunteered for the extra shift this evening? Over."
~~Red Star Control to Valkyrie and Syren. Samovar's on. Anyone who's out of dry clothes, let us know and we'll scrounge something up. Even if it means going down to Stores and holding a loaded crossbow to Fred Colon's head to persuade him to make an issue. Advisory, Stores isn't good at women's underwear. They still haven't worked that one out. You'll have to dry some things out on the radiators. Red Star out.
Olga acknowledged, and shut off her communicator.
"Impressive." Johanna said. "But when people fly through cloud, are there not risks? Not being able to see each other, or where you're going?"
"Always." Olga said. "Standing instructions are to space out wide and to put up navigation lights. Cold fire. People below may glimpse moving lights in the cloud, and no doubt the imaginative people at the Ankh-Morpork Unidentified Flying Object Research Association will insist there are aliens from other worlds in the skies."
Olga smiled. She turned to Nadezhda.
"We need to talk to Parrot. The people at AMUFORA got hold of that tall story about those moving lights in the sky during the snowstorms being down to flight-capable snow-trolls from the planet Tralfamadore, being drawn to a place where the weather was perfect for them, emissaries to our world to demand to be taken to our Leader. Vetinari is of course Covering Up."
Nadezhda scowled.
"Da. Parrot's sense of humour. Suspect Skripka is involved. It would be those two. I will talk to them."
"Do you get a lot of that?" Ethylene Glynnie asked.
Olga sighed.
"An old Air Watch tradition." she admitted. "It is called shooting a line. It involves going to gullible people who know little about flying, and seeing exactly how much nonsense they will believe as fact. Especially if it comes from a nervous-looking pilot who is looking over her shoulder as if she is being watched or followed, who makes worried references to men in black, and who then spins a fable with just enough truth in it for it to be believed. I discourage this." (4)
"Makes work." Nadezhda said. "Also called trolling. Pilot who is no longer with us, Tatiana Grigorenko, she justified such humour when she said, if people believe such obvious complete govno, they have the brainpower of trolls."
Nadezhda sighed and went silent for a moment.
"Anyway, business." Johanna said. "Education for young witches. Let us say they all receive the expected standards by about age eleven. The primary education. What should happen next?"
They put their heads together round the table and began to come up with a plan.
Continuation is on the way!
(1) Go to the tale Gap Year Adventures, in which Olga performs over and above in a mission and Vetinari suggests Sam Vimes punishes her with the promotion she has been determinedly avoiding for several years. Sergeant Romanoff is then forced to participate in a rank structure. Corporal Politek soon follows. Compelled by a greater power, possibly involving Narrativium, a good Witch knows to go along with it.
(2) Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
(3) Война и не только Война - Voyna i ne tol'ko Voyna, "War and More War". This was Tolstori's blockbuster debut, followed by the sequel Еще война и потом довольно скучная вещь (Yeshche voyna i potom dovol'no skuchnaya veshch'), translated into Morporkian as "A Bit More War And Then The Boring Bit Afterwards"
(4) Truth. An over-imaginative UFO-nut living in North Wales maintained that the British military maintained a secret base with undeclared Black Helicopters used for nefarious purposes, including contact with Aliens. After this got into the local press during a slow news week, sure enough, he had a sinister black helicopter – well, darkly painted and with no insignia – hover over his house for a while and then flying off again. He took this as proof of the Conspiracy. Informed sources say that of course the British military maintains dark-coloured helicopters with minimal insignia which are intended not to be seen. Mid-Wales is a training area for special forces. The helicopter pilots who work with them still have to take the copters up for flying hours and scheduled training airtime. It is entirely possible one of the aircrews decided to divert off their declared flight-path for just long enough, purely for the Hell of it and for the entertainment value. For the lulz. Pilots drawn to risky flying, such as delivering the SAS, tend to do this sort of practical joke. Quite a lot.