Hello loyal readers,
Unsure why, but my Word spellcheck seems to be on the fritz. Literally every word of this sentence is underlined in squiggly red. For example, Word is suggesting "Wunderlande", "Unterlande", and "unterbinde" for the word "underlined." So... if you know how to switch my Word back from its apparent new German setting, please do let me know. Otherwise, please excuse any typos in this chapter (with the exception of one typo, which was deliberate).
Happy Thanksgiving and ironically timed Black Friday to all my American peeps! I hope everyone was able to spend quality time with family as we all partook in gluttony one day and then commercialized greed the next. Lol
As I'm typing this, my husband and I are about 3 hours into a long drive back from a relative's house. It was a good time, but glad to be headed home. Back home to a new apartment and lots of unpacked boxes, since we also moved last week. So much to do, so little time!
Today's chapter is something I've gone over and redone at least 4-5 times. Like, heavy duty deleting and editing. Some scenes just come out; some scenes have a few birthing pains. This was one of the latter. Mostly because Kyoko and Ren are breaking out of their polite, strictly professional shells today. Trying to keep them in character while going from story point A to B, but also keeping them on track emotionally from point C to D was a very thin line to toe. Hopefully the result is satisfactoy. :)
Thank you all so much for reading, and until next time, enjoy!
-x-
CH28
"What started out as an already scandalous election cycle," the TV Tokyo reporter remarked as a roiling crowd gathered in the background, "has quickly turned into one of the most contentious elections in Japanese history."
Juxtaposed behind the crowd and the line police officers, stood the proud, unyielding tower of the Diet building.
"All of Japan is still in uproar over the unexpected split in the Diet between incumbent Prime Minister Ogata's National Japanese Party and Councillor Mogami Saena's New Change Party. The vote held yesterday on the Diet floor indicated that 57% of the House of Representatives voted for Prime Minister Ogata. However 61% of the House of Councillors voted for Councillor Mogami."
The reporter cocked an eyebrow at the camera, feigning serious concern.
"A split in the voting between houses has not occurred in Japan since 1995. While it has always been a possibility, many in the public are crying foul." The camera began to zoom in on the Diet building as the reporter continued his voiceover. "Over the past few months, rumors of political corruption have eroded the people's trust in the government. Now, that mistrust has reached a boiling point."
As the reporter continued his monologue, the Diet building faded out until other pre-recorded footage replaced it onscreen. Masses of angry college students marched through Todai's campus, holding signs and chanting. One protester, bearing a sloppily painted sign that read, "Down with Tyrant Ogata!" shook his sign emphatically at the cameraman before moving on.
Then, the news report returned to footage of hundreds of protesters swarming angrily in front of the Diet, chanting and waving signs threateningly at a line of police officers that lay between the people and the white marble steps of the Diet. Many of the signs had slogans such as, "Stop fixing the elections, NJP" and "The People stand by Saena" and "Death to NJP supporters". Though stoic in demeanor, the officers sometimes shifted from one foot to the other behind their flimsy metal barricades, gazing tensely out into the crowds.
The footage cut away to an interview with a young woman wearing a down jacket with fur trim around the hood. In the background, people continued to chant and wave signs in the air.
"It's just incredible, you know?" The 30-year-old woman remarked indignantly as steam rose from her mouth in the cold air of winter, "Those rotten trash politicians fixed this election. I don't know anybody who voted for Ogata's party, and yet this happened? Don't give me that crap!"
The camera cut back to the news reporter who solemnly addressed the audience.
"Fueling the riots and in spite of evidence to the contrary, online forums such as 2chan host many who are loudly decrying the National Japanese Party, accusing its members of fixing the elections in its favor. There are few who disagree, but those who do face swift retaliation from the online community."
Images of screen captures floated across the "TV Tokyo" logo background, showing Twitter replies, forum posts, and messaging apps. The usernames were blocked out, but the messages were consistent.
One message read, "I voted for the National Japanese Party. I think that PM Ogata did a good job reforming the tax system to promote the growth of the middle class!" - and faced the replies, "It's people like you who allow rotten politics. Traitor to Japan!" and "If u were smrt, u wud've voted for Saena. Go back 2 the whole u crawled out of." and "Go die! I hope your house burns lol!"
The news reporter's voiceover continued. "Some have even claimed that voicing support for the National Japanese Party has cost them their jobs and personal safety."
The scene switched to another interview; this time it was a man in his early-forties, but his face had been blurred out and his voice had been altered.
"Before the election, I had gone to listen to a speech by my local Representative who is a member of the NJP. But I think someone was filming the crowd." The man continued, "After the election, someone on the internet got ahold of that recording and used it to identify people in the crowd. Many people – from all around Japan – contacted my manager yesterday. They demanded that I be fired. The company is small. This town is small. To avoid bad publicity, I was let go. Someone also put my home address online. Today, I had to move in with a friend because I was receiving death threats in my mailbox."
"What are your thoughts about what has happened to you?" The reporter on-site asked into the microphone before turning it back toward the man.
The man cleared his throat, plainly fighting overwhelming emotions. "I think… that Japan has changed a lot. I think that it's just very difficult to have an open conversation nowadays… How do you converse when everyone only wants to yell?"
Transitioning back to the opening shot, the reporter continued solemnly, "It has only been one day since the election results have thrown the Japanese political world and the public into chaos. In nine days, the fate of our nation will be decided. Who will emerge the victor? Was the election fixed? Has the Japanese public crossed a line? Only time will tell…"
[Due to PR concerns by TV Tokyo board members, this news segment was pulled before its broadcasting slot. It was replaced by a feature piece about the escalating tensions between North Korea and the United States.]
-x-
Trying to make as little noise as possible, Kyoko slowly, slowly set the glass bowl upside-down on the bookshelf. Trapped inside under the glass lay a small electronic cylinder the size of a pencil eraser.
Careful not to jiggle the bowl, Kyoko reached down for the towel she had prepared. Nestling the towel above the bowl, she very meticulously ensured that no area of the bowl was unmuffled by the cloth. Finally satisfied with her handiwork, she turned away from the bookshelf that housed the fourth and final listening bug and ran a quick check on the other three. All were sufficiently covered.
A final sweep with Yashiro's bug-finder confirmed that she hadn't missed any.
Neither Manaka nor Delta would hear anything of her upcoming conversation with Ren. Assuming that Ren was even willing to speak with her.
As Kyoko walked back to the bedroom, an anxious lump had returned to her throat. She tried to swallow it but to no avail. It was a desperate situation.
Something was definitely wrong with Tsuruga Ren.
Not only had he completely discarded his Cain persona while literally standing in the same room as their enemy, but he had also lapsed into a thick, brooding silence in Konoe's car on the way back to their apartment. Even more worrisome, Cain had stopped responding to Setsu ever since they had entered the door of the Heels' home.
Now, Ren would only sit as still as a statue on the edge of his bed, that cold, murderous look growing in intensity with each passing hour.
Setsu had tried everything to snap her brother out of it. Well, everything short of throwing herself on him – but despite how dire the situation was, Kyoko wasn't sure if she could quite stomach that tactic just yet. But she would be willing to try it – if this failed.
And this could very well fail.
As Kyoko gazed at herself in the bathroom mirror, having settled Setsu's wig on its stand under the sink, her hand went up to hesitantly touch her auburn hair.
If Setsu couldn't reach Cain, why would Mogami Kyoko be able to reach Tsuruga Ren?
She had considered trying to allow Ren to work out this issue on his own. After all, she was only his kouhai; he was the experienced one, the clever one, the dependable one. Maybe she was just sticking her nose into her senpai's business. She could just be pestering him.
Years of social grooming in Japan's strictly hierarchical society made the knot of worry in her stomach twist uncomfortably at the thought of confronting her senior. But…
The President had warned her. And on the ferris wheel, Ren himself had asked for her help.
Approaching the bedroom door, Kyoko felt the nervous lump squirm itself higher in her throat. Gulping, she raised a hand to the doorknob, then hesitated. Closing her eyes tightly, she breathed in and out, gathering her confidence.
"Don't lose, Tsuruga-san," she whispered to herself, more of a prayer than a thought. "You're not allowed to lose."
Kyoko pushed the door open.
As she suspected, Ren was still sitting at the end of the bed, hands gripped tightly in his lap, head bowed and shoulders as tense as a bowstring.
"T-san…?" Haltingly, she walked in and tried to get his attention. "T-san?"
She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder. For a second, she worried that if she touched him, with how agitated and strained he seemed, he might judo throw her on instinct.
Readying herself, Kyoko placed her fingertips gingerly on his shoulder. "T-san?"
Ren jumped, hand whipping around to grab her wrist. Startled, Kyoko flinched back on instinct. Then her partner's eyes seemed to register her, clearing for a moment.
"T-san…?" She murmured again, eyes searching his face.
Agent T blinked at her in confusion. Then his expression shifted quickly to alarm. "S-Setsu–?"
Slowly, as if dealing with a wild animal, Kyoko slipped her hand out of Ren's hold and shook her head. "We're safe. I took care of the bugs."
The dark-haired agent didn't reply, but merely turned to face forward again, this time hanging his head over his clasped hands. Strategically, Kyoko settled into the armchair in the corner of the room, not directly in front of Ren but certainly still in his line of sight. Clearly, she wanted to talk.
However, as the minutes of silence ticked by, clearly, he did not.
'Well,' Kyoko reasoned to herself, 'He's already surpassed two of my expectations: he didn't ignore me again, and he didn't throw me across the room on accident. Just do it, Kyoko!'
She hesitated a couple of times before steeling herself, looking up at him sharply, and spluttering out desperately, "T-san… What's going on?"
Expression instantly furious, Ren looked off to the side.
"It's nothing." His voice was the dangerous kind of quiet. A calm before the storm.
This clearly fabricated denial stabbed at her heart. Kyoko bit her lip. Maybe she was overstepping their professional boundaries after all, but… something needed to be done. And she couldn't be of any use if he continued to keep her in the dark.
Before her courage could fail her, Kyoko moved.
Bowing deeply in her chair, hands clutched in her lap, Kyoko squeezed her eyes shut and blurted out, "Please forgive my impertinence, but that, back there with Delta. That was not 'nothing'! This is not 'nothing'–!"
"Then, it's nothing you have to concern yourself with, Junior Agent M."
Frozen in shocked horror, Kyoko could not raise her head. She could only feel her heart break bit by bit as he stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him.
Kyoko flinched as she heard the bathroom door also slam shut. A moment later, she could hear the shower water begin to run.
Her eyes slowly opened, but she did not lift her head. The threat of tears prickled at the corners of her eyes.
Rejection… It was so familiar, like a heavy stone that had been carved to slip right into its usual slot in her heart. Her mother… Shotaro… and now…
Kyoko just stared blankly at her lap, the emotions washing over her. What use was there in doing anything? Nothing she had done, no effort she had expended, no amount of pleading had ever kept those she cared for from leaving her behind.
'He's just the same as everyone else...' A small, insidious voice whispered in the back of her mind. 'First he'll push you away. Then he'll abandon you, betray you, despise you... You were expecting this all along... Why are you so surprised now?'
Her grip tightened in her lap, hands bunching around the leather of Setsu's pants. Kyoko knew why she was surprised. Because she had hoped against hope that somehow... Ren would be different. After getting over their initial differences, her bond with Tsuruga-san had been–
'An act,' the little, doubting voice hissed. 'He was secretly sick of you all along.'
Yes… He had to have been sick of the useless newbie kouhai who showed up at his living quarters at odd hours of the night requesting acting lessons…
(That warm smile when she showed him the Princess Rosa necklace though…)
He was probably frustrated with her when she hadn't been the greatest temporary tech support.
(However, when he got sick, he had held her hand and called her 'Kyoko' so tenderly while feverishly delirious…)
He had even avoided her with no explanation for weeks leading up to the gala.
But then after she had encountered her mother, he had held her tightly, caressing her back as she clung to him…
All that time laughing with him and Yashiro in the LME cafeteria or the proud looks he gave her after a hard day of cultural training with Maria or his gentle smiles when she woke him up in the Heels' apartment or… or…!
Kyoko shook her head, finally straightening in her chair.
Though Agent T put on a brilliant act, as his partner, Kyoko had become able to usually pick up on when he was acting. Tsuruga-san's gentleman mask was an act. Ren, in all of those moments and memories... That was not acting!
However, this angry stranger was certainly not an act either, so… maybe this was Ren too. Kyoko of all people knew that pain and a troubled past could be hidden from the world. But they could also be risen above. Ren himself had helped her at least to deal with her past. It was her turn to help him.
She couldn't let her own insecurities scare her into abandoning him when he needed her the most.
Eyes shining fiercely, Kyoko leapt up from her chair and marched out of the room, throwing the bedroom door open before her. However as she strode down the hall, her footsteps slowed until she finally stopped in front of the bathroom.
Well, she was determined to help him. But… How?
Wavering now, Kyoko began to pace back and forth next to the bathroom. Continuing the act as Setsu hadn't worked. Asking politely had been a bust.
'Well, I suppose you can try giving him a kick in the seat of the pants.'
Kyoko slowed her pacing. Squinting, she pondered Lory's words long and hard. Then, shaking her head, Kyoko decided that the President had meant it metaphorically. Not literally. Certainly, it had to be! Just picturing herself trying to kick Ren in his behind…
"..."
It was all mosaic-ed. Not even her imagination could comprehend that situation. So… 'tough love'? Was that what the President had really meant? She was still slightly worried, but President Takarada's uncanny ability to understand his agents' inner clockwork was unparalleled.
Now nodding to herself, Kyoko approached the door again. Borrowing some of Setsu's boldness, she knocked. "T-san? May I–? I mean– We need to talk."
Silence. The shower ran in the background, but without the variance of sound that would indicate he was actually in the shower and using the water. Kyoko felt her concern begin to meld into annoyance. So he was ignoring her now? Hah! What was he? A teenager, locking himself in the bathroom to avoid chores?
She knocked again, louder this time.
"Go away." This time there was a response!
Kyoko felt a spark of indignation. At Edo Land, Ren had asked for her help! And now he was rejecting it? What was this guy? A tsundere? A deretsun?
This was definitely like a child throwing a tantrum. Well if he was going to play the part of a child…
"No!" Kyoko snapped at the door, her motherly instinct rising in her chest. "I'm going to give you to the count of three, and then you're going to open this door. I'll force it open if I have to!"
The door would probably stay locked, but still, the tactic was worth a try. If needed, she'd kick the door down. After all, it wasn't as if Ren were actually using the shower. He was just hiding.
"One…"
Silence.
"Two…"
He continued to ignore her. Fine then!
"Three!" She proclaimed, twisted on the doorknob, and rushed forward.
It wasn't locked.
The door flung open, dumping Kyoko inside the steamy bathroom. As she fell to the floor, Kyoko's brain processed two things. One, Ren wasn't in the shower, just as she had predicted. He was only leaning over the sink. And two, contrary to her predictions, he was shirtless, apparently having paused in the process of undressing.
"GYAH!" Caught off-guard without Setsu's protection or her 'maid spirit', Kyoko instinctively shrieked and scrambled backward, trying to use her hands to simultaneously hide her face and crabwalk away.
"Again! Why are you always half-naked? Have you no decency? Have you no pity on my maidenly eyes?"
As she ranted, circumstance forgotten, there was silence… then a puff of laughter. Kyoko stilled, frozen in the midst of trying to curl into a ball on the floor.
Above her, she heard Agent T remark wryly, "Who's the indecent one? Always barging in while I'm in the bathroom?"
Instantly on the defensive, Kyoko scrambled up and skewered him with her strictest glare, his partial nakedness forgotten. "Well, the first time, I was just making sure that some assassin hadn't strangled you in the shower! And this time, if you hadn't ignored me–!"
Recalling why they were in this situation, Kyoko clamped her mouth shut. The teasing look on Ren's face transformed back into a heavy frown, eyes sliding away.
Glancing down, Kyoko adopted a seiza stance, her hands fidgeting in her lap. "I… It may be selfish of me… But I just want to try and help, T-san…"
Kyoko noticed the flicker of movement as Ren's hand went to clutch the watch on his left wrist. "Mogami-san. There's nothing to help. Just stop it."
"T-san, please–!"
"No," Ren said, his voice becoming final, the anger rising again in his eyes. He made a move to exit through the door behind her.
Now desperate, Kyoko was up in a flash, arms spread to block him from moving around her. She had run out of options. Plus, she had this amorphous, foreboding feeling that if he walked out of this conversation, if she let him, he would go somewhere far, far away and would never return.
Her hands were trembling. She couldn't stop them.
"M-san. Move."
"No." It came out a broken whisper.
Ren's glare sharpened. He strode forward until he was towering over her. "You have no right."
It hurt. But it would hurt worse if Tsuruga-san lost.
"No…" Kyoko repeated again. As she continued to speak, her voice grew stronger, more confident. Her eyes flashed up, and she met Ren, glare for glare. "I may not be a senior agent. I may just be a newbie… But I am not a fool!"
Apparently shocked at this new, disobedient version of Kyoko, Agent T seemed almost startled, taking a step back. Pressing her advantage, Kyoko stomped forward a step, poking a thin finger into his chest.
"I may not be much, but after being your partner, I know you the best!" She snapped, "I can see that something is destroying you from the inside out! And I demand to know what is going on!"
Kyoko was out of breath, panting as if she had just run a marathon. Tears prickled unshed at the corners of her eyes. Ren stared at her, frozen.
Kyoko felt one of the tears track down her face and angrily smudged it away with the palm of her hand. She continued glaring at Ren… until she realized that he was still shirtless. Ducking her gaze, her face already aflame, she snatched her hand back from prodding him.
As the silence stretched on, a feeling of regret and horror burbled up from within her. She had gotten carried away… He had already pushed her away once today... Was he going to abandon her now?
"I can't tell you…"
Kyoko winced, readying her heart for the inevitable rejection. Then his soft, quavering reply registered. She glanced up, unsure if she had heard him correctly.
He was looking at the floor, cradling the wrist with the watch. He repeated, "I can't tell you."
Concern instantly pricked her heart, overriding her fear at this mild refusal. He looked so forlorn and empty, just like that time he had spoken with Bo. "Why?"
Ren sighed heavily and stared at the floor. "Because you won't understand."
"Why won't I?"
Her partner winced.
He was afraid. The realization struck Kyoko like a lightning bolt. But afraid of what?
"Tsuruga-san… Please…" She took a step forward, her voice a whisper. Her hand hovered uncertainly a hairsbreadth above his arm.
There was silence, and as the seconds ticked by, Kyoko began to withdraw her hand, her heart regaining its familiar ache. Then he spoke again.
"It's selfish, but I need you to promise me…" Ren's gaze rose to meet hers for the briefest of moments before darting away.
"Promise…?" Hope renewed, Kyoko perked up.
"Promise me that you..." For a man who stood at 190 cm, Ren looked small and vulnerable in that moment. "That you won't turn your back on me after I tell you."
'So, he's afraid of me?' Kyoko thought, confused. 'Of me rejecting him?'
Aloud, she coaxed, "Tsuruga-san. You're my partner and my…" She dropped her hand back to her side. "My senpai. I could never turn my back on you."
"I… I don't…" Ren took a deep, shaky breath in and out. He shot her a small, uncertain smile. A ghost of the old, familiar Agent T reappeared. "Where would I even begin?"
"Well…" Returning his small smile, Kyoko prompted gently, "At the beginning, I guess…"
After another long, heavy pause, Ren uttered a dry, ironic laugh. "Oh, what the hell… I suppose that you're right."
Kyoko nodded as Ren twisted the shower water off and grabbed his shirt off the floor. The two agents settled into seats on the bathroom floor, backs up against the wall and under-sink cabinets. Then, he took a deep breath and began.
"My real name is Kuon Hizuri. I was born in America to two of the most famous agents in the CIA..."
-x-
JAPANESE NOTES:
National Japanese Party – Just like the New Change Party, this political party is completely made up.
Todai – Japanese abbreviation for Tokyo University (most prestigious university in Japan)
"whole" – Yes, I know I misspelled the word "hole".
Tsundere – Stereotype of a personality in shojou manga who is outwardly "tsun" – cold and blunt – but in private can be "dere" – lovey-dovey/ affectionate. Ex: Taiga Aisaka (Toradora) and Ayuzawa Misaki (Kaichou wa Maid-sama). Hence, Kyoko is joking that instead of being "tsun" first and "dere" second, Ren is switching the order, making him a "deretsun".
Seiza – Formal Japanese sitting posture. Ex: Kyoko doing tea ceremony while she competed with Ruriko.
-x-
MAILBAG (For those who don't know, this section is my response to 5+ of the most interesting reviews of the most recent chapter)
Shizuhoe – Haha, gotcha! Glad you got at least one of you with that twist! And is Rick Delta? Is Delta Toudou? Is he another SB character? Is he an OC? Who knows~! ;) And I know right? Not to dive too deeply into politics, but even though I usually side with one party over the other (not going to say which), this past election and the resulting aftermath has been difficult. If you get a chance, read Neil Postman's Amusing Ourselves to Death. He wrote it back in 1985, but it's like a Nostradamus-like prediction about our current society that binge-watches Netflix and refuses to engage in real issues, instead choosing to simply and demonize in lieu of understanding and compromising. Hope you enjoyed today's chapter! Let me know what you thought!
Guest – Is Delta Kyoko's father? Is he Toudou? Is he Rick? Is he Koga? Is he an OC? Who knows~ ;) That's a good guess though! I hadn't thought of that haha Keep guessing!
MWEH – I'm so sad that the English version of this month's chapter isn't up yet… I'm IMPATIENT, Impatient Scans! Just kidding… Not really. Haha But looking at the raws, it seems as though Kyoko is definitely pissed in that final panel. She's a woman on a mission, and there's no way that this is going to end in Kimiko's favor. (Muahaha!) And yes, Princess Ogata the cinnamon bun! I LOL'ed at your comment when I read it. Poor Ogata, indeed! On a separate note, actually, Kyoko has never met Toudou in this AU. I'll leave you with that little tidbit. ;) Thanks for your theories! Teehee, I look forward to seeing what you come up with!
brennakai – Haha, oh man! I totally should have had Kyoko kiss him to bring him back! Ugh, opportunity missed. TT_TT Haha, jkjk. One day, my dear brennakai, one day… Thanks for having reasonable expectations of me :) Just to clarify, Kimiko knows and has reported that Kyoko (Sho's childhood friend) works for LME, but she doesn't know about Setsu and Cain, hence she hadn't made the connection. Let me know how I did, O amazing Angst-o-meter! My first three rewrites were because Ren just seemed like a bigger and bigger jerk-face. Tightrope, indeed! Thanks for the praise and encouragement! It means a lot to me to hear that I'm not completely letting the fanbase down haha! As for original stories, I have had an idea knocking around in my brain for the last… decade… haha, but still holding onto it because I feel like I haven't matured enough as a person to be able to say everything that I want to with the premise. Maybe for NaNoWriMo in like… another decade. Haha! Thanks brennakai! Really appreciate you :D
Thank you all for the reviews and faves and alerts! I'm so excited to delve into Ren's flashback in two weeks! See you all then!