Hello loyal readers!

This past week I've been on a family trip in Hong Kong visiting the in-laws. Yesterday (at least in my current time zone) was the Lunar New Year; the night before, we had this really fancy Chinese banquet-style meal. I've learned over the years of attending weddings at Chinese banquet halls that I can really only eat 20% of whatever dishes come out. (I really hate fish, shellfish, duck, and can only tolerate pork if desperate…) Therefore, I went prepared! Don't tell my in-laws, but I filled up on beef noodle soup and boba beforehand. Teehee. ^^ I'm definitely a low-maintenance kind of gal, at least in the food department. I'd prefer a burger and fries over abalone and bird's nest soup any day!

I'm going to be so happy once I get home. #hamburgers4lyfe

Today we have the emotional conclusion to Kuon's Past Arc, Ren comes to a terrible realization, and Kyoko struggles to let go. Also, as promised last week, Delta unearths something terrible…

Thank you all so much for the love last chapter! We're getting a lot of new regular readers, and it makes me so happy! (In other news, I know I should've been focused on this fic, buuuut I somehow wrote out half of that Star Wars AU Skip Beat fic that had been bouncing around in my head. Probably going to post it after this fic is done along with other one-shots that have been plaguing my thoughts haha.)

Don't forget to leave a fave, alert, or review! It really really does make a difference! Love y'all!

-x-

CH34

– PRESENT DAY –

In the living room, Ren paused, continuing to stare at the blank area of rug at the foot of his armchair. Though he had moved from the bathroom earlier, now he didn't dare look up. Just ran through the rest of the nightmarish memories from beginning to end, hands gripped and knuckles white in his lap.

Now Kyoko knew the truth. He was a trained assassin. His hands – the hands that had touched her and held her – were also the hands of a murderer. A murderer who had murdered his own mentor and friend.

As the silence stretched on, Ren felt his heart sink further into his stomach. He imagined the horror and disgust that must be etched on her face. Even his own parents, after hearing of his taboo training and Rick's untimely end hadn't been able to wipe the brief glimpses of aversion from their eyes. They'd treated him differently – delicately – like a ticking time bomb afterward, even if they'd meant well. And combined with the crushing guilt... Kuon had spiraled downward into oblivion.

'Say something! Anything!' Ren pleaded Kyoko mentally, still not daring to even raise his head. 'Just reject me and get it over with!'

A small sound – a choked gasp – echoed through the room, and Ren winced back, expecting the worst.

"I'M SOOOO SORRRRRRYYYYYYY!"

Jerking his head up in surprise, Ren saw Kyoko curled up on the couch, staring at him with impossibly large, tear-filled eyes.

"Tsu-Tsuruga-san has had such a difficult past, a-a-and I so callously demanded that you expose your painful memories to me!" Kyoko hiccupped and tried unsuccessfully to rub the tears from her eyes as more welled to take their place. "I'm an ungrateful wench, I say! An ingrate!"

Forget attempting to comfort her, Ren could only stare at Kyoko – eyes wide, completely shocked.

"You… You don't hate me…?"

His words stopped Kyoko from performing what appeared to be an impromptu seppuku with a butter knife grabbed from the coffee table.

Kyoko hiccupped cutely, in stark contrast with Setsu's goth-punk outfit, and tipped her head to the side, her auburn hair following the movement. "W-Why would I hate Tsuruga-san? It was an accident, wasn't it? Wasn't Tsuruga-san also a victim?"

"What?"

A victim? People – his parents, Lory, Miss Woods – had told him the same, that he was just a victim, that he had only been doing his best in a terrible situation, that he was not to blame…

But that wasn't true. They didn't really mean it – their actions spoke volumes otherwise. He had been the one to pull the trigger. That was the reality.

Kyoko continued, unaware of her partner's mental denial. Putting a finger to her mouth and frowning in thought, she mumbled, "I mean, you didn't want to be kidnapped…"

Ren sighed. Still no one understood. Rick had come to rescue him. Kuon had been the one with the faith in his damnable training to use the gun. He had pulled the trigger. To say that he had just been a victim… it felt too light of a punishment for the unforgivable sin he had committed.

He was Rick's murderer, and his punishment was to dedicate his life to hunting down the man who had led to Rick's murder. Kaiso… Delta… They shared responsibility, and if Ren gave up on revenge now, it felt as if he were implicitly absolving Kaiso of his part. Ren felt a stab of fear in his gut. He felt like a man trapped under a boulder; if he gave up on chasing Kaiso, if he gave up this goal that had motivated him for years, it would be like snapping the only other support holding the boulder up from crushing him completely.

It was a burden Ren knew that he could not bear alone. So he was going to get this bastard and make him pay his dues to Rick, just as Kuon had.

"Well…" Ren let out a heavy sigh, frowning down at his hands as if they belonged to a stranger. "There is more, but maybe that's enough for now."

"NO!" Kyoko flew forward, hands clasped to her chest, eyes wide and expectant. "Please continue!"

At her enthusiasm, Ren felt another part of his heart break. He loved this girl so much – this girl who accepted him freely and fearlessly – but he did not deserve her. He was on a collision course with death, and he wasn't going to selfishly drag her along. Finally, Ren had a moment of clarity.

The debate warring in his heart and soul for the past half year, the one he had been so desperate to ignore, had been settled just like that. Kyoko or Rick… He did not deserve happiness, but Kyoko did. For her sake, he had to choose Rick and revenge.

As he placed his hands on his knees to stand, Ren smiled sadly, his heart heavy in his chest. Beginning the process of shutting down his emotions, he reached forward and handed his partner a box of tissues from the coffee table.

"Continue? After that, there's not much to say…" Agent T shook his head as he stood and stretched his stiff shoulders. "I got into a lot of trouble afterward. Buried in guilt. Guilt and trying to find the man who… Well… Anyway, the President is a personal friend of my parents. He offered me a chance to start over here in Japan. And I jumped at the opportunity."

Kyoko wiped her tears and blew her nose with a cute honk. She blushed as she appeared to realize how unlady-like she seemed.

"Sorry…" she muttered, trying to appear more prim by folding her used tissue neatly.

A less-pained smile crossed Ren's face. "Please don't apologize, Mogami-san."

Silence stretched on as Kyoko's brow began furrowing again. "So… Your real name is Kuon?"

"Yes, it is."

"And you're American?"

"Well, my father is Japanese, and my mother is half-Russian, so…" Ren shrugged, free to use the Western gesture now without any more motive to hide it. "I guess I'm kind of a mix. But yes, I am from America."

"American…" Kyoko tilted her head to the side and squinted her eyes up at him. As emotionally frayed as he was at the moment, Ren had to clench his hand into a fist to prevent it from drifting up to caress her hair.

'Stop it. You don't have that right anymore. Just let her go.'

Then Kyoko asked suddenly, "Is black really your true hair color then? Do you dye it? And your eyes, are they really brown?"

"Coooorn!" Two children splashed in a magical stream.

Heart now in his throat, Ren's eyes widened, and he stepped back abruptly. Instinctively, he tried to hide it – their happy childhood memories – like a buried treasure he wanted to keep safe from the prying hands of the present darkness.

"A-As I said, that's probably enough for one night… We should head to bed for now." Emotions now in check, he flashed her what he thought was a bright, reassuring smile. But for some reason, Kyoko just looked at him with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.

-x-

He was hiding something. He definitely was. Maybe several somethings. That 1,000,000-watt Gentleman's Smile was highly suspect.

Kyoko watched through narrowed eyes as Agent T meandered about the apartment, turning off stray lights. There were so many things that she wanted to ask, but most importantly, now that she knew the story behind his actions, what was she going to do about it? She couldn't just let him continue down this dark path. Just as he was reaching for the bowl over the listening bug in the living room, without thinking, she stepped forward and caught the edge of his sleeve.

"Tsuruga-san, please… Wait…" Catching herself, she dropped his shirt as if she might get burned. Her traitorous hand, instantly missing the residual warmth, clutched itself to her chest as if trying to preserve the sensation. Kyoko glanced away and stepped back, missing the pained look that crossed her partner's face as he misconstrued her actions. "So Delta is this Shizumino Kaiso guy?"

Ren's voice hardened, the bittersweet smile slipping from his face. "Yes."

"Now that you've found him…" She tried searching for the right words, but they eluded her. "What… are you planning to do?"

Ren was silent, his glance sliding off to the side. Kyoko's eyes widened in realization. "You're going to kill him."

The darkness and sheer hatred that passed over Ren's face at that moment chilled Kyoko to the bone. He hadn't verbally answered, but she didn't need any more confirmation of his intentions. That cold, angry stranger who had seemed to possess Agent T's body only hours before now seemed to skim the surface of his control.

Before she could think, the words burst from her mouth. "Is this really what Rick would have wanted?"

Her eyes followed his hand as it drifted down to brush against the brown leather watch on his wrist. Ren didn't respond, but his frown deepened, and Kyoko again had her answer.

Forget struggling against the darkness, it seemed as though her partner was hell-bent on diving headlong into his past of hatred.

"You have to stop." Kyoko wished that her tone had been firmer, but the fear and desperation had sapped her conviction. She could only stare up at him, eyes trying to find any remnant of the senpai she had grown to know and… respect.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Ren raised his eyes again and turned back to her. Like a condemned man resigned to his sentence, he sighed sorrowfully and left the bowl on the shelf, turning to her. His hand came up and hovered over her head as if he were about to stroke her hair, then it dropped to the side, limp. For some reason inexplicable to her, Kyoko felt deprived and cold.

"Mogami-san. I can't stop."

Then, as Ren turned to leave, her sense of disappointment morphed into panic, and on fear-driven instinct, Kyoko caught him by the hem of his shirt. Uncertain but determined, she gingerly held the smooth fabric between her fingers, willing herself not to let go this time. He stopped, his hand on the doorknob of the bedroom, but didn't turn around.

"Tsuruga-san… Please…" Kyoko couldn't raise her head, fearful of facing her senpai's rejection for the second time in one night. Her heart beat in her ears, thunderous in the quiet room.

There was silence. Kyoko could feel her cheeks heating up as she tried to ignore the warmth under the hem that beckoned her chilled fingers. But at the same time, her heart ached for him, seeing the path he soldiered down. "Can't you just… give this up?"

"What about you?" Ren finally spoke. Kyoko perked up, looking at her senpai questioningly as he turned slightly to face her. His handsome face was marred by a resigned frown. "Are you going to just give up?"

Kyoko couldn't speak, her thoughts turning to Sho. As the silence stretched on, she realized that she was unable to answer Ren. Feeling as if a lifeline were slipping through her fingers, she let go of the hem of his shirt.

"Then we understand each other." His words were final. Kyoko watched as Ren turned and walked away to the bedroom, shutting the door gently behind him.

-x-

Kyoko sat in the living room. It was three in the morning, but she didn't feel tired. She had tried lying in bed and willing herself to sleep – she had even attempted counting fairies – but after hours of tossing and turning, she had finally given up. Too many times to count, she had found herself gazing at the still, silent form of the man on the other bed.

Sleep eluded her. Her heart felt too heavy.

So she was out in the living room, curled under a blanket on the couch, turning the signal jammer over and over in her hands.

She had been trained for this. In the event an agent's partner was about to go rogue, the agent was to call in immediately. Another team would be sent under a different pretense to finish the mission.

Ren's obsession with this man – Shizumino Kaiso – the darkness and hatred Delta brought forth from Agent T's soul, was unnatural. And it was slowly poisoning Ren… He needed to be stopped.

'What about you? Are you going to just give up?'

Kyoko grit her teeth. She wasn't going to just let that idiot Sho off the hook. She had promised to ruin his life, just as he had ruined hers. Justice. She wanted justice, even if vengeance was the means. If she were to let everything go and forgive him – it felt too light of a punishment.

But… she was happy where she was now… And if it weren't for Sho, her life… What would her life look like right now?

If it weren't for Sho, she would have never met Kanae or Maria or the President or Chiori or Yashiro or… She would never have met Ren.

Kyoko looked at the cell phone in her lap and at the signal jammer in her hands. It was a secure line. One call and she could save Tsuruga-san from himself… and he would hate her forever.

At the mere thought, Kyoko felt an icy dagger pierce her heart. Just the thought of him loathing her made the back of her eyes prickle with tears. The mere idea felt as though the bottom had fallen out from under her world.

Ugh, those feelings were making an appearance again. No, Ren was her…her friend, and friends just didn't let friends go on near-suicide missions to kill somebody!

She had to do something. But what?

Taking a deep breath, Kyoko pressed the power button on the jammer and picked up her phone.

-x-

– 7 days before the re-vote –

Amano Junpei, famous investigative journalist, had yet again unearthed the biggest scoop of the century. He'd invested quite a bit of bribery money, but that tip to investigate the hottest candidate for this year's election, Mogami Saena, was really going to pay off.

After paying off the security guard who had let him into the file storage room, the short, balding man flicked his flashlight on, ignoring the light switch by the door. No use in alerting the other security guards that he was here. His pockets weren't that deep.

Row upon row of metal filing cabinets greeted him. These cases were from before the records were computerized. Red tape and bureaucratic delay had prevented these files from being computerized and shredded – luckily for Amano Junpei.

Glancing at the labels on the fronts of the cabinets, the journalist shuffled his way down the alphabetically organized rows. Finding the appropriate filing cabinet and drawer, he opened it, careful not to make too much noise.

"Na… Ni… Niijima… Nishihori… Ah! I passed it!" He flipped quickly through the files inside, skimming the labels for the right name. "Nigawa… Nigawa… Here it is!"

Quickly grabbing the file, Amano slapped it open on top of the cabinet. He wiped a sweaty palm across his balding forehead. His flashlight bobbed as he quickly scanned through the folder's contents. Clearly finding it to his liking, a greedy grin slid across his features.

"Oh, hoho~!" The journalist chortled, snapping the file closed and rolling shut the drawer with a muffled metallic clang. "I'm going to be so famous!"

Amano kissed the file and spun around, ready to scurry out of the building with his treasure.

Thud. Amano yelped. Lost in his glee, he had spun right into something behind him. The shaky illumination of his flashlight indicated that it was not a something but a someone. Amano only caught a glimpse of a black flak jacket and a black mask covering the lower part of a face. However, as he raised the light toward the man's face, it clearly gleamed off a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. It was difficult, but Amano could swear that behind the mask, the mysterious man was smiling.

The journalist felt frozen in place. His gut instinct told him that this guy was more than trouble: he was dangerous.

"Oops… What do we have here?" Plucking the folder directly out of the journalist's hands, the masked man perused the file and spoke, his voice dripping in sarcastic astonishment. "Mmmmm, do tell… This would indeed be the scoop of the century—'Councillor Mogami Saena's Secret Past!' Who would have thought that she was actually part of the Japanese Witness Protection Program? The woman really doesn't know how to keep a low profile, does she?"

While the man was occupied with the file, Amano was trying to edge his way slowly out of the room. He froze when he heard the unmistakable click of a gun being cocked and felt the cold metal of a barrel pressing against the base of his skull.

"Now, now." The masked man sounded like a schoolteacher scolding an errant pupil. "I can't have you escaping and telling the whole world this fascinating piece of news, can I?"

"A-ha-ha-ha… I certainly – certainly, most definitely – will not tell a-anyone," Amano stuttered, feeling his legs go loose. A warm trickle ran down one pants leg. "This will just be our little secret."

"Hmmm…" The man hummed, clearly unsatisfied.

"J-Journalist's honor!" Amano laughed nervously, "I'll take this one with me to my grave. I swear!"

The gunman chuckled. It was a dark, joyless sound. "How convenient. I also agree that you will take this with you to your grave."

Amano almost had time to scream before the 0.40 caliber bullet ripped its way through the back of his skull, splattering his brains on the opposite wall. His lifeless body crumpled to the floor, foot twitching twice before stilling forever.

Delta sighed and nudged the body on the floor with one boot. "You really should vet your tips better, Amano-san. What a rookie mistake."

His eyes scanned down the folder. Pretty much everything on his dear Saena that he had expected Amano to find. That was the whole reason why Delta had tipped the journalist off in the first place. It was better to keep track of what mud the media was digging up on his chosen candidate than to be caught unawares.

It was pretty much everything Delta had expected… until he flipped the page.

"Hmmm… A birth certificate? Mogami… Kyoko?"

-x-

JAPANESE NOTES:

Nigawa – This last name would be written with the characters for "two" and "river". Like Toudou's nickname for Saena's frown haha

Shizumino Kaiso – Did you know that Japanese is a syllabic-based language? Each syllable "shi" "zu" "mi" and "no" are considered separate units. Consider this a little hint for those of you who actually read these notes. Can you solve the puzzle? (If you do solve it, don't spoil it for everyone in the review section. Just type your favorite breakfast food. We'll both know what it means. Heehee)

-x-

MAILBAG

Aikori Ichijouji – Awwww! I hope you got your ice cream and cat-petting! I'm secretly giggling because I evoked emotion in one of my readers, so don't hate me teehee. As a fellow author, you probably know how exhilarating it is to write something and the reader feels that the scene hit the emotional beat you intended. Soooo YES! Haha Thanks for reading and reviewing so faithfully Aikori!

Artloife – Thanks for reading and reviewing – multiple times! I'm so thrilled that you're having a good time with the story! I've definitely done that where I meant to review at the end of a good fanfic chapter, but the story's pull is just too strong, and somehow I've found that I'm halfway through the next chapter before I'm like "Shoot. I missed my chance". Haha Thanks again! Hope to see you around the reviews section again.

Guest – Thanks! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!

Ashenvale – Yes… Yes he did *cries*

Guineapigs1 – Yeah, the WORST of it that I didn't even go into here, is that when snipers actually pull off a head-shot, the bullet doesn't make a small hole in the head. It essentially causes an explosion inside the skull. And the sniper is still LOOKING at the head. You can imagine the absolutely traumatic effect that'd have on Kuon. Glad you liked the little Kyoko and Ren reprieve – even though I re-read the past few chapters and realized that I had Ren turn the shower water off twice (facepalm). Bad continuity. LOL oops. Really glad you're enjoying the AU! I like AU's as well because after reading so much normal universe SB FF, it gets kind of repetitive. Haha

MWEH – Heeheehee, all will be revealed in the next chapter. ;) But can you figure it out first? There was a pretty subtle hint this chapter! AND LOL, that would've been hilarious if Kyoko's issue had been her pressing need to go pee. Man. That really sounds like her. HAHA As for the manga, like… WTF ITS ALREADY THE NEXT MONTH! Ugh… I still haven't seen the officially scanlated version of the Jan chapter, have you? This is kind of like torture. I saw the ghetto video-manga grammatically incorrect English version on Youtube, but I'm not sure I understand the finer points of the chapter yet. I'm actually kind of worried that the producer is going to put Kyoko as Chidori and Kimiko as Momiji… (SPOILERS) There was some weird subtext going on that the scene with the next Chidori candidate doesn't have a spot for Momiji to act, yet the producer specifically asked Kyoko to participate in the next candidate's audition? Who knows… Ugh, it's torturous! Thanks as always MWEH!

-x-

Don't forget to leave a fave, alert, or review! It really really does make a difference! Love y'all! See you in two weeks!