Strandpiel 31
Stuck for a chapter heading of any sort justnow.
The One Without A Subheading.
Although I think I've got one now:
Mafiosya.
V0.03. what do you know. typos. One or two bits expanded.
The Assassins' Guild, Ankh-Morpork
Lord Downey steepled his fingers and possibly remembering he was not Lord Vetinari, unsteepled them again. He considered the three girls standing on the other side of the desk in the Master's office. It was not a sympathetic or a friendly look. To his right, Doctor Smith-Rhodes, who had escorted them back to the Guild when they had been discharged from Watch custody, was radiating annoyance. Miss Ethylene Glynnie, the responsible Housemistress, was also present, and she didn't seem especially happy either.
Downey, judging the standard intimidating silence had gone on for long enough, took a deep breath. He nodded acknowledgement to the fourth adult in the room. She stood impassively over to the left, a non-Assassin here by invitation.
He regarded one of the three girls, the accepted and notorious ringleader. He shook his head slightly.
"Miss Smith-Rhodes-Stibbons." he said, in a carefully neutral voice. "You have been at this school for nearly two years now. I find it hard to believe that this is the first time you've been Sent Up to the Master's Office."
Famke Smith-Rhodes-Stibbons regarded him back with an expression of sincere humility on her face. There was an obvious purpling bruise on her forehead just above her eyebrows. This had not gone un-noted.
Downey looked first at Johanna Smith-Rhodes who here was playing the role of Parent Called To The School To Answer to The Behaviour Of Her Erring Child. Her scowl in the direction of Famke said "do not even think of playing the innocent."
Then he looked sternly at Famke.
"Your reckless and stupid behaviour has caused inconvenience to a lot of people. I myself was advising on matters crucial to the future security and well-being of the city. Your mother was also present. Fortunately, that duty had concluded, by the time the City Watch kindly advised me you were in their custody."
He nodded thanks to Officer Serafima Dospanova of the Air Watch. She stood, impassive and emotionless, over to the left, her flying helmet under one arm.
"Officer Dospanova is also obliged to be here, which takes her away from her regular duties in guarding and protecting the City. As she was the arresting officer, I now have to demonstrate, to the satisfaction of the City Watch, that you are to be correctly disciplined under Guild law and School rules."
The unspoken words hung in the air, of Lord Downey being furious at being obligated to the Watch, in a situation where Assassins' School pupils had been arrested for common affray on a public street. It was the sort of situation where Sam Vimes would, in normal circumstances, not be able to resist a few gloats and digs. This would also be intolerable to Downey.
"Street brawling. Common affray. Breach of the peace." Downey said, remorselessly. "Involving students from this school."
His voce and his body language made it clear that he was not a happy headmaster. He looked, meaningfully, at the cake-stand on his desk. There was a complete absence of any sort of bottle of sherry or accompanying glasses.
"Lowly, common, brawling." Downey went on. "Bringing the School into disrepute."
He steepled his fingers again, briefly. The three beleaguered girls awaited their fate.
Downey looked down at the papers in front of him. He appeared to read one attentively. Then he turned to a second.
He looked up and then, necessarily, down a little, at Princess Thora Brittasdottir. He held the gaze of both the other girls in turn.
Then he built on his theme with some heat and eloquence. Johanna Smith-Rhodes glared at the three girls. Mss Ethylene Glynnie shook her head and frowned. On the other side, Officer Serafima Dospanova continued to look impassive.
"What does this look like?" he demanded. "What reflection of the School are you giving in the eyes of the world outside? What will people think?"
Famke, Connie and Thora, who had already had the scary experience of being scowled at by Sergeant Nadezhda Popova followed by a yelling-at from Famke's mother, and then, scariest of all, a brief word from Commander Sir Samuel Vimes while the scary Sergeant Popova stood next to him and continued to say nothing, withstood what they hoped would be the final salvo.
"Deal with it, Sergeant Popova." Vimes had directed. Nadezhda had glared at them and had then detailed the even scarier Officer Dospanova to go with them back to the School and hand them into custody there, then to report back on what punishment the School chose to award.
Famke reflected that the Watch officer had not been communicative on the brief walk across to the Guild. She had spoken to her sergeant, but in Rodinian, as Sergeant Popova read the arrest reports. She had tried to get the gist of what was being said, but it had been fast, low, and full of what Famke guessed was Watch jargon.
Lexi Mumorovka, who under the surface veneer of Rodinian impenetrability had looked subdued and apprehensive, tried to smile and said "Our turn next, Red Annoyance."
Famke had been halfway through a whisper of "totally worth it, though!" when the scary Sergeant had barked " Замолчи! Никто не говорил, что ты можешь говорить!" and Lexi had quickly shut up.
Mum had scowled at Famke again. Famke added the imperative "Zamolchi!" to her Rodinian vocabulary, and heeded the warning.
She frowned. That had felt uncomfortably like bonding. With her?
Officer Dospanova, tall, thin, dark-haired, with the sort of face any self-respecting Witch would have begged an Igorina to create, all prominent nose and chin, had walked silently with them. Famke had weighed up the odds of escaping and had quickly discounted them. She recalled Vorona meant something like crow or raven. And the unsmiling Watch officer looked exactly like the sort of raven who'd happily peck your eyes out.
Word had travelled; the duty Porter had signed them in and then directed the group to the ante-room to the Master's office. And other students they passed knew it too. Tykebomb was in trouble, this time. Practically brought back in handcuffs. With a Watch escort.
Shortly afterwards, Lord Downey had returned.(1)
And now he was letting it be known he was not pleased. The almond slices had been called for. They sat, prominently and threateningly, on the desktop, a lurking menace. Lord Downey ran out of words. He scowled again.
"Officer Dospanova has courteously provided me with the Watch reports on the incident." he said. "The account, and the supporting witness statements. Miss Smith-Rhodes Stibbons, it appears that you were going about your lawful and permitted business when you witnessed a friend who was being accosted by a street gang." he said.
Famke stirred.
"She isn't a friend, sir! Why does everybody keep thinking she's my friend?"
"Nevertheless. Your not-a-friend and an associate of hers were being jostled, bullied and treated in an incivil manner by a juvenile gang of about the same age, maybe a little older. Eight or nine – nine, thank you, Officer – of them, at least some of whom are current students at the Thieves' Guild School."
Downey frowned again.
"You realised your not-a-friend was in potential trouble and you pitched in to help her and, as you put it, to even the odds a little. Miss Brittasdottir and Miss Muthelezi felt constrained, as perhaps your definitely friends, to follow you into the fight."
Downey acknowledged the other two. Famke put on her look of innocent reason, the one she'd had a lot of practice in.
"That's a lot of trouble to go to for somebody who's not a friend, Miss Smith-Rhodes-Stibbons."
Relieved now Lord Downey had burnt off the anger and irritation, Famke composed herself even more.
"Well, sir. I know her because if she's definitely a friend of anyone, she's a friend of my big sister Rebecka." she said. She looked over at her mother, who had a face set in permascowl.
"And she's been a guest at our house. My mother likes her."
"Famke…" Johanna said, warningly. She was here as a Guild teacher as much as a concerned parent. Trying to appeal to Mum was not going to work here, and she wanted Famke to know it.
"And those street-scruffs were harassing her. Being ignorant. What we call domkop and pielkop-stupid. Kak-kop bliksems…"
"Famke Cornelia…" her mother said again.
Downey permitted himself a slight smile.
"I understand Vondalaans is an expressive language." he said. "I won't insist on translation." He picked up Johanna's expression. Perhaps better not?"
He looked at Famke again.
"Assume I do not understand any Vondalaans and keep it in Morporkian, Miss Smith-Rhodes-Stibbons? Thank you. So your motivation was one of obligation to your older sister and to one who is an occasional house-guest of your parents, rather than by anything that might, at first glance, be mistaken for a friendship between two girls of the same age."
His passing gaze took in all three older women in the room. Johanna and Ethylene had gone completely poker-faced. Serafima tried to contain a slight smile that tickled the corners of her mouth. (2)
"Is true, my lord." Serafima said. "When we saw potential problem, Offier Bramdean and myself went stick-down, to observe. Ready to intervene. We needed to have reason to intervene. Disagreement on street, in itself, no reason."
She then had to explain about going stick-down. It meant hovering your stick, just behind cover, such as the ridge of a rooftop, and ensuring only the top of your head was visible. It was an Air Watch tactic for covert observation of a street below. Anyone watching from ground level might think the Air Watch patrol had seen nothing of interest and had flown away.
"You make visible show of flying away." Serafima said. "Then you fly back, below height of roof, unseen, and go stick-down. Is good tactic."
Famke stored this up. She'd noted the Air Watch patrol overhead that had flown off out of sight. Or apparently so.
Downey gave Serafima the respect due to another trade professional who understood the principles of concealment, and added the information to his store of knowledge concerning the Air Watch. Knowing they could successfully hide a pilot and a Watch broom, so much larger and more visible than the standard model, was valuable knowledge.
"So you observed what happened next."
"Da. Was also consideration that both girls being threatened are Air Watch cadets. Our people. But today, not in uniform."
"And also young witches." Downey mused.
"Also consideration." Serafima agreed. "We saw trouble beginning."
The Watch House, Pseudopolis Yard.
Sam Vimes glared at the two girls in the Watch Commander's Office. He glanced from them to their superiors. Sergeant Nadezhda Popova had marched them both up here to answer the summons. Captain Olga Romanoff and Lieutenant Irena Politek, having concluded other business elsewhere, had arrived later. They stood off to one side alongside the witnessing pilot, Officer Shirley Bramdean, known to the Air Watch as "Kestrel".
"And that's what happened." Vimes said.
"Yes, sir." Shirley said. "When it looked as if the fight was going to get out of hand, we flew down and stopped it. Blocked off both escape routes and separated them. Then we called for a bit of first-aid to the ones who were groaning or unconscious, six or seven of them by then, and for a hurry-up wagon to make the detentions."
"Anyone seriously hurt?" Vimes asked.
Shirley shook her head.
"No, sir. Just cuts, bruises and concussion. When it looked as if weapons were about to be drawn, we made our presence known and did the arrests."
Vimes scowled at Air Cadet Alexandra Mumorovka. He noted the sword she wore.
"Who did the drawing?" he asked. Nadezhda Popova's face went to a more serious scowl.
"It wasn't Dipstick, sir."
The Rodinian senior officers suddenly all went impenetrable and impassive.
"That is, Air Cadet Mumorovka." Shirley clarified. "One of the Thieves' Guild kids was getting all panicky by then and reaching inside his jacket and telling her if she didn't co-operate he'd be forced to draw. Dipstick put her hand on the hilt of her sword and said to him, please do. Go ahead and draw."
Vimes noted the look on Nadezhda's face. Part anger and part pride.
"We searched him, sir. Big blade. Bigger than usual. He's in a cell now. Remains under arrest. But Dipstick never drew. He did."
"Did either of you two young ladies use any magic?" Vimes demanded. He eyeballed them.
"None, sir. We would know." Shirley said. One of the newest Air Watch pilots, she also remembered the scary Vorona telling her to say nothing about the vedogon or the vikhor. Shirley had had a sensation of something beginning to form on the edge of vision, and wondered if this was something Vorona knew more about. But she reckoned it didn't need to go into the report.
Vimes nodded.
"So, No Cossack sword drawn. On these streets, that's a breach of the peace all on its own. No magic used. Apart from Miss Collier playing catch-up with a good hard punch, and Dip... Miss Mumorovka – doing pretty much likewise, the two of you behaved with restraint and forebearance. Most of the aggro was on the part of those three Assassins."
"And two of them had good mitigating circumstances." Shirley said.
Vimes accepted this.
"Just out of interest." he said. "Why "Dipstick?"
The Assassins' Guild, Ankh-Morpork
"So Miss Smith-Rhodes-Stibbons walked up behind the largest and most threatening of the assailing gang and tapped them on the shoulder. When they turned around to see what it was, Miss Smith-Rhodes-Stibbons then delivered a conclusive head-butt."
Downey looked dissapprovingly at her.
"Then she went on to punch a second, very accurately and very vigorously."
"One punch is all it needs, sir." Famke said. Downey winced.
"By then, with two of their number down, the attacking street gang had got over the initial surprise. At this point, one of the two young witches under threat took advantage of the surprise to grab one of her assailants by the collar and deliver a vigorous face-slapping, which left the girl stunned and weeping with all the fight taken out of her."
"Air Cadet Collier, sir." Serafima confirmed.
"And at this point a member of the street gang said and attempted something very unwise indeed. Forgive me, Miss Brittasdottir. I am merely reading from the Watch report, so as to ascertain the sequence of events. This imprudent person then said "Look at the little lawn ornament!" and made reference to a sport called "dwarf-tossing" and speculated as to how far down the street they could kick you."
Downey looked up. His eyes asked a question.
"The Lady Sybil advised us that person will regain full use of knees in possibly six weeks." Serafima replied.
"At any time, Miss Brittasdottir, did you draw your axe?" Downey asked.
"No, sir. No need to." Thora replied.
Serafima confirmed this.
"And another, remarkably unpleasant and stupid person, then made an equally unwise reference to – and again, forgive me, Miss Muthelezi, I am merely quoting - a spear-chucking darkie out of the jungle."
He looked first at Connie, and then at Serafima.
"Is correct, sir, Heard it said."
Lord Downey shook his head.
"There really is no helping some people, is there?" he remarked. He turned back to the reports. "Miss Muthelezi was seen to briefly retreat from the fight followed by mocking laughter and cat-calls concerning her ethnicity and skin colour. She was seen to go to a nearby general stores, and take a large long stave from a shopfront display of the sort of long length of wood used for general building work. She then weighed this in her hand, and asked who was up for a display of spear-chucking. The youth who had been verbally abusive then went rather pale and tried to run."
Downey looked up.
"Running from a Zulu. You would require a lot of speed and stamina."
Connie nodded.
"I did pay for the broken wood afterwards, sir. It was only right."
"Duly noted, Miss Muthelezi."
Downey looked at Serafima again, then back to the report.
"The student Assassin identified as Miss Smith-Rhodes-Stibbons was seen to be fighting side-to-side alongside the Air Watch Cadet known as Alexandra Mumorovka, aka Dipstick. They were, in the vernacular, covering each other's backs. When the threat of drawn weapons emerged, Officers Dospanova and Bramdean of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch actively intervened, secured the area, separated the combatants, disarmed the student Thief who had attempted to draw a blade, and called for back-up and first aid."
He put down the report and steepled his fingers again.
"I haven't met the young lady in question." he said "But informally, I understand her to be an outstanding prospect for the Air Watch. Officer Dospanova, I accept this is completely none of my business, but out of curiosity. Why is she called Dipstick?"
There was a silence, broken by Famke trying hard not to audibly snigger.
The Watch House, Pseudopolis Yard.
"Okay, I get it." Sam Vimes said. He tried not to look at Lexi. She seemed uncomfortable.
"It's the Rodinian word for a kind of sword. When Air Cadet Mumorovka started to excel in her training, she was given the privilege of a call-sign. Not every Cadet gets this."
He looked at Samantha Collier, who seemed relieved rather than disappointed.
"But not everybody is Rodinian. And Air Witches have a peculiar sense of humour. Okay, got it now."
The Assassins' Guild, Ankh-Morpork
"The shpaga." Lord Downey said, possibly relieved to be on absolutely familiar ground. "Which is a type of sword in Rodinia, sometimes the fencing épée but which can also be an intermediate sort of weapon, not quite the full-blown rapier. Air Cadet Mumorovka was granted a call-sign, not quite of her own choosing. And as not everybody is a Rodinian-speaker, a Rodinian to Morporkian dictionary was consulted. The Air Witch who looked up the Morporkian translation of the word Shpaga discovered it had a secondary meaning in Rodinian."
He shook his head.
"A long slender rod used by engineers and artificers to check the level of oil in a reservoir, so named because of its resemblance to the sword."
"Da, my Lord. Shpaga. A dipstick." Serafima confirmed. She kept her face completely straight. A part of her rather hoped Lord Downey had not heard about Peppermint Fancy yet.
"Amusing and inventive." Downey commented, deciding it would not be fair to ask a rank-and-file officer of the Air Watch about Peppermint Fancy. He'd save that, he decided, for Captain Romanoff or Lieutenant Politek.
He steepled his fingers.
"Having heard the case." He said, "And having had the opportunity to hear the facts, it now falls to me to pass judgement."
He looked sternly at the three girls.
"A regrettable street brawl happened." he said. "Involving pupils from this School. They were then effectively arrested by the City Watch and brought here, under Watch escort, for my attention. Both those things reflect badly on this Guild and I cannot completely overlook that."
He looked sternly again at the three offenders.
"However. I am persuaded that there are mitigating circumstances. Racial and ethnic slurs of a most grievous sort were used against two of you."
He looked over at Serafima Dospanova.
"I understand Sir Samuel treats this as a crime?"
"It is, sir." Serafima confirmed. "Use of such words to a Dwarf is considered a crime of Being Bloody Stupid. If Dwarf has axe, is also considered Attempted Suicide. Also, bad words spoken to a Zulu who knows how to use long spear-like object. Is also Attempted Suicide. Mr Vimes thinks, and I speak his words, if bloody Boggis wishes to take this further because his people were injured, then bloody Boggis can take jump off Tump Tower. I heard for myself. Zulu girl and Dwarf girl were not at fault."
"Thank you, Officer." Downey said. He sounded relieved. "Now this only leaves one."
He frowned at Famke.
"The fight was not instigated by you." He said. "But you joined in. You exacerbated it, admittedly with very laudable motives. A friend – a not-friend of yours was in trouble. Holding her own against superior odds. You joined in to support her and help her. You know, putting yourself at risk like that to defend somebody who you adamantly claim is not a friend of yours? And who in her turn adamantly denies you are a friend of hers? Remarkable."
Downey shook his head.
"In the end, nobody was killed, nobody got seriously hurt, and I have to admit three of my students displayed commendable fighting skills against nearly twice their own number of assailants. Drawn at least partly from the Thieves' Guild School."
Downey's face went faraway and unreachable for the moment. Inwardly, he was looking forward to making this point when he next saw Mr Josiah Boggis, head of the Thieves' Guild. He also reflected that Samuel Vimes was in no position to crow, as two of his own Watch Cadets had also been ill-disciplined and badly behaved. He guessed Vimes would want to bury this too. He made a decision.
"But you were still in a public street fight. And were then arrested. I cannot and will not overlook this."
He paused for a moment.
"All three of you have now lost walking-out privileges and are confined to the Guild, except for sanctioned lessons taking place outside these walls, and for religious observance on Octeday. Miss Muthelezi, Miss Brittasdottir, for two weeks. Miss Smith-Rhodes-Stibbons, for three. You will all receive a formal verbal warning for brawling. Miss Glynnie, please enforce this and seek to find other things for them to do in the evening to absorb their energies? Thank you. Will this sanction satisfy the Watch, Officer Dospanova?"
He looked at the three girls again.
"Also understand that if any of the three of you are Sent Up to this office for any disciplinary reason during, shall we say, the next six months, you will be invited to eat the almond slice." Lord Downey said. "I hope that is abundantly clear. You are dismissed."
He covered the cake stand.
The Watch House, Pseudopolis Yard.
"Okay, Olga. I'm mindful that bloody Downey's not likely to get triumphant and smug over this, because three of his problem cases were mixed up in this fight too. Fight between kids, regrettable, but it happened. Apart from the bloody idiot who had his legs thumped from under him by that Dwarf Assassin, nobody got seriously hurt, and a bunch of our maladjusted citizens have had a painful lesson in good manners. Boggis's maladjusted citizens."
He nodded to the two girls.
"I accept you got into a fight you didn't want to be in, and it all sort of escalated." he said. "Especially when that little red-haired maniac joined in. You know, Cadet Mumorovka, for two people who claim not to be friends, you could both have fooled me."
He shook his head.
"Is teenage girl thing, Mr Vimes." Nadezhda Popova said. Her temper had cooled down, and she was relieved he was minded to be lenient. She was also relieved neither of her Fledglings had been hurt.
"Best not to ask too much." she added.
"Sometimes, Mr Vimes, you'll go a long way for somebody you're not friends with." Irena Politek said. She looked at Olga.
Vimes decided he was too male for some mysteries, and dropped the subject.
"No weapons drawn. No magic used. Good. Because if either of you young ladies had used magic, your feet would not be touching."
He eyeballed both again.
"But still a street fight with the potential for getting the Watch into disrepute. We can't have that. So, Olga. What punishment drills could you suggest?"
Olga Romanoff, a woman at the wrong end of a long day, looked thoughtful. She reflected that she could have done without this.
She nodded to Nadezhda.
"Do the needful, sergeant? Spassibo."
Nadezhda Popova exchanged a salute with her captain. Then Sam Vimes winced as she gave the word of command. In a sergeant's voice.
"РАВНЯЙСЬ! СМЙР-НО! "
The echoes died down, a long time after Air Cadets Mumorovka and Collier had come to rigid attention. Vimes reflected that it was usually Sergeant von Strafenburg who gave the drill commands in the Air Watch. That didn't mean she was the only one who could, however.
Olga Romanoff smiled as pleasantly as she could at both girls.
"Life isn't fair." She remarked. "Important lesson. You got into a situation this afternoon that wasn't your doing and you handled it as best you could. But you're still going to get punished for it. Nichevo. Because as I say, life is not fair. You've just drawn stable duties. For a month."
"Ol... Captain Romanoff. Don't they do that anyway?" Sam Vimes inquired. Olga smiled back pleasantly.
"Nyet, Commander." she said. "Within the next week I am taking the first two Heavies on the strength. You remember I briefed you on the arrangement I came to with the manufacturer?" (3)
"Yes." Vimes said. "The heavies."
Olga smiled. It was a pleasant smile. Lexi and Samantha tried to follow it.
"Olga." Vimes said. "These Heavies. Thought we'd agreed they can't be stabled here?"
"Because they are too heavy. And the landing strip here is too small." Olga replied. "As there is a need to be as discreet as we can, Commander, they're going to the Lancre station. There is a large barn there which can serve as hangar. This will serve until I can conclude negotiations as to a permanent base."
She turned and smiled at the two cadets.
"On your duty days, I will have you ferried out to the Lancre station. Wear old clothes and good boots, as you are going to be stable hands who will learn all about the Heavies. From the bottom up. You are both on stable fatigues, until I say otherwise."
She smiled pleasantly at the girls.
"Now. In accordance with Orders. You can accept my award as right and fair. Or you can be marched to the next highest level of command who will duly review my punishment, and can uphold or amend it as he pleases."
She nodded to Sam Vimes.
"But I warn you, he isn't in a good mood with you at present."
Both girls noted the Vimes scowl and quickly accepted their punishment. Olga smiled, benevolently.
"Dismiss them, Sergeant." she requested. Nadezhda took a deep breath.
"СМЙР-НO! РАЗОЙДИСЬ!"
The cadets were swiftly marched out. Vimes was sure he saw Nadezhda and Olga exchanging a grin and a wink.
"Sometimes, completely by the book." Olga explained. "In all respects. So that they know it is official. And Nadezhda Popova is a very good Sergeant."
Olga tried to stop herself yawning. Vimes saw this.
"You've had a long day." he said. Vimes suddenly felt an almost fatherly concern for somebody he'd seen at all stages in her career, from Probationary Lance-Constable all the way up to Captain, and wondered how to tactfully phrase a suggestion she took it a bit easier for a while.
"Da. There is a husband and two children I would like to see, however briefly. I would like to be reassured my son and daughter haven't forgotten my face."
She sighed, resignedly. It meant one last Pegasus flight, and owing to the time difference the kids would probably be in bed asleep by the time she arrived. This silly business with Alexandra and Samantha had delayed her still further. But she could be a good mother, make their breakfast, and see them to school in the morning. Nichevo.
Outside the office, Nadezhda Popova smiled almost pleasantly at Lexi.
"You do realise." Nadezhda said, speaking in Rodinian, "that I know all about the vedogon and the vikhor. Olga Anastacia advised me that this was a big reason why you were taken as a student Witch."
"Da, Mother Hen." Lexi said, with seeming submission. Her tutor looked down at her with a face that was both kindly and stern.
"Vorona advised me, privately, that you appeared to be summoning them. Kestrel also felt something strange in the air. Be thankful she is not of our culture. If Mr Vimes knew you were prepared to use that sort of magic to solve a problem, he would not be a happy man. You heard his opinions on the use of magic in there. Use such magic sparingly, devyushka. That is all."
"Da, Mother Hen." Lexi said.
And several weeks later, two groups of early teenage girls met in the street in Ankh-Morpork in the late afternoon. They recognised each other at once, and settled down for mutual appraisal, with lots of eye contact. Both groups were dressed largely in black, with the crucial identifying differences only apparent to the experienced eye.
"So what happened to you?" asked one of the girls who wasn't wearing a pointy black hat.
"Got punishment duties. Involved wheelbarrows and big spades. Nichevo. And you? Was looking for you on street. Did not see."
"We got confined to School for a few weeks." said the other girl. "Lost our walking-out privileges."
"Grounded. Gated. Completely boring." said the really small one in the helmet and chainmail.
"We got some seriously hard smelly work." one of the other girls said. "You know horses pooh a lot? Well. We wished we were only dealing with horses."
The girls contemplated adversity together in silence. Then Alexandra Mumorovka grinned. She stepped forward and hugged Constance Muthelezi.
"Good to see you again, Constance! You also, Thora!"
Hugs and handshakes followed on. Two of the girls carefully avoided this.
"Is it true the Air Watch is getting flying elephants?" Connie asked. "There are lots of rumours going around."
Lexi considered this.
"Well. We have been sweeping up shit for something we have been instructed to deny is there." Lexi said, thoughtfully. "But was lot of shit coming out of nowhere. Strange. Is mystery as to where it came from."
"Lots of it." Sammy Collier said. She looked glum. "Mountains of it."
"Rhubarb will grow taller in Lancre." Lexi said, straight-faced. "Mister Albert Fletcher, who grows rhubarb, was happy man."
The six girls contemplated this.
"Ouch." Thora said.
"Piles of shit, taller than you. You would not have liked it much."
There was a pause.
"You do realise you only got away with that because we fought on the same side?" Thora said.
She and Lexi clasped hands.
"Are you walking the same way as us?" Connie asked.
"Depends. Is good coffee shop this way." Lexi said. "Up to you if you're coming."
She nodded at Famke.
"If she promises not to be nuisance, Red Annoyance can join us. No objection."
"Just so long as everybody realises we're going to the coffee shop. You're just tagging along." Famke said.
She fell into step with Lexi anyway.
"Mum was talking to Captain Romanoff the other week. About Mum leasing some land the Zoo Trust owns, to the Air Watch. There's loads going on there."
"So I hear, Red Annoyance." Lexi said. "If Air Watch owned such things as elephants with wings, they need much space. Air Station all of their own. And near to City. Lancre, too far away."(4) And biggest thing ever to fly, needs biggest Air Station of all."
Lexi paused and looked at Famke.
"Of curse, we have no such flying creature. "
"Of course." Famke agreed. "Olga Romanoff swore you all to secrecy and to deny it if anyone asked. There's a word for that, isn't there? Vranyo."
Lexi made the merest hint of a smile.
"You are learning Rodinian. Was forgetting. Vranyo is good word, ryzhaya dosada."(5)
Six girls, five of whom had once been in a big fight together, walked on in friendly amity. Having fought on the same side always helps, as Famke's mother had been heard to remark.
Without any fuss or drama, a new youth gang had been born, half composed of student Assassins and half composed of student Witches.(6) They walked on together down by Itching Crypts to the coffee shop.
To be continued
A short one this time just to tidy up the last chapter and skip a few weeks where not a lot otherwise happens. Well, apart from one or two incidents in Howondaland involving Bekki, but those are next chapter stuff. More soon!
(1) He had reported on the political discussion and the agreement between national representatives, together with the Quirmian offer to host formal talks on neutral ground acceptible to all, and had been congratulated by Lord Vetinari. Who had then said "I understand you now have to deal with several of your pupils who have been arrested for street-fighting. Do not let me detain you."
(2) As a Witch, she knew the value of boffo and that Nature had given her the perfect face for Witchcraft. This had depressed her at first as she did have a sharply-honed sense of humour and a pleasant personality. It was just that people expected to see Witch. Witch was literally written over her face. Serafima had found herself responding to the world in the way the world expected her to act. Over a few vodkas with the others, especially her friend and patrol partner Yulia Vizhinsky, the true Serafima emerged. But on Watch duty, she was the inexpressive and frowning Vorona with a face and a look that could even intimidate Famke into behaving herself.
(3) And again we catch up with an incidental detail in The Price of Flight. Just synchronising the two stories.
(4) And thus, back to The Price of Flight.
(5) Vranyo, as mentioned before, is the Russian art of not quite telling the truth and not quite telling an outright lie. Although sometimes the actual truth content can be diuted so much it is almost homeopathic.
(6) The sixth was Air Watch Cadet Jenny Fylingdales, who hadn't been involved in the fight, and needed to be brought up to the mark about who the three Assassins were.("Nice people. Good in fight. Are my druz'ya and tovarishchi, friends and comrades. Except for Red Nuisance, that is.")
Others will join the New Gang. Watch this space.
Notes Dump;
reply to PM from reader Ivanthemostlysane:-
Thank you!
I've been wondering about how to progress with stuff about the "big things" and how to present them in a Discworld context, or indeed at all.
The thing about "reincarnation is there as a possibility if you believe in it, or want it, but unfortunately there is a waiting list, so we're going to have to do it as a lottery. Remember, it could be You!" is perfectly in keeping with TP's philosophy where everything is up for grabs after death. As well as a post-mortem bureaucracy trying to allocate openings and opportunities as best it can and, in the manner of administrations everywhere, screwing it up.
It also raises questions about "what happens if a female soul, or one who was female when they were last in the world, gets reborn in a male body." (Shape dictates form, and Matti Smith-Rhodes is male, therefore the form will shape a male identity). But Matti will also, technically, be his own great-great aunt/uncle.
I still haven't got very far with the Anthropomorphic Personification of Birth. She remains a headache. Maybe a metaphorical Stork bashing the window with its beak?
Apricity Brabble has come to believe that there must be Spring and Autumn out there, if only because something must fill the necessary fleeting space in between Wintersmith and Summer Lady. And belief shapes form too. As the chapter got horribly long, I didn't explore a sub-theme, where the Summer Lady, in her pure not-quite-of-this-world shape as The Summer Queen, speculates that if only they'd thought to do it this way last time. The Sheep-girl knows Spring, as she is there to bring lambs into the world. It is her expertise.
But, said the Winter King, that was the opposite Edge, Summer into Autumn. The time of harvest and reaping. The Sheep-Girl does not know that as well and at that Edge, she would have been called upon to be Autumn, the balancing point between outgoing Summer and incoming Winter. And a Cereal Girl would know about the Harvest, more so than a Sheep Girl. A pity she was not there at that time.
"The Cereal Girl. We will be calling upon her again in six months. To dance in the Harvest, to witness the Fall of the leaves and honour their passing, and to stand between our surface-selves once more. But properly, this time."
As to whether this is now a lifetime commitment for Apricity - Witchly opinion will vary.
The Winter King might remark that "So many people up there are now sundered from the cycles of life. People in cities give the passage of the seasons no thought. Belief is diminishing."
The Summer Queen might reply. "I hear people in Ankh-Morpork believe fruit and vegetables are called into being in the back room behind the greengrocer. They complain about the carrots being dirty, if there is earth on them. Something must be done."
"I agree we should re-instate the two lesser roles. The ones where the postholder is required only to work one day a year. Or if they cover both responsibilities, for two days, six months apart. I can't see why they ever tried to do away with them."
"Rationalisation."
The two Deities considered this.
"We need to restore belief. And awareness."
"I agree. Spring is only a part-time position, anyway, which we wrongly thought was implied in your role. We have discovered it isn't. If She is seen to run, and enough mortals see her, then belief is restored, and the world can carry on, unimperilled. And at each Edge, there is then one who stands between Wintersmith and Summer Lady. This saves those little accidents from happening."
"I have become aware of a human girl in Lancre..." the Summer Queen said, speculatively.
It could be that Apricity is only required to do this twice, once as Spring and once as Autumn, after which the Balance is properly restored and, who knows, two genuinely sentient Anthropormorphic Personae might arise, and step into the shapes prepared for them?
Thanks for reading! more to come, as and when. Hoping it's all making sense for you. (Off to find something out. Stats View on FF makes a distinction between a Viewer and a Visitor to your stories, but I'm hazy as to what the distinction is. Going to see if I can find out!)
Random: From TVT: Some foreign wiki-words get translated into Russian, usually with their root words being translated and then jammed together. For example, the German word "schadenfreude" (deriving pleasure from someone's misfortune), which has been borrowed verbatim into English, is translated as "zloradstvo" (злорадство) from the root words "zlo" (evil, malice) and "radost'" (happiness).
Also, just picked up from the excellent "Madam and Eve" cartoon strip the expression "Four hadedas on the back of a bakkie". Cape slang? Trying to decode it. Does it mean "I could care less but not by very much" or "unlikely and improbable situation" or "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a kak".