Cearbhail:

Sorry it's been a while. I know I say that a lot, and it has been a month or two. I've been... you know. It's not the best time right now, but I'm not struggling or anything, I'm just... playing a lot of games, watching a lot of anime. I don't really want to spend time on my laptop, which is like a day-long adventure when I write these chapters. Anyway, I'm back for a while. So, here we go.

Enjoy. =^^=

[Primrose]

I can't believe this! Vara thinks I'm a… toxic person? But… all I do, all I ever did… was be nice to her. I used to spend most of my time around her when we were young. Her and that Argonian boy she was always hanging out with. The three of us were friends, mostly. I mean, I wish the Argonian boy, Jowinpan, wasn't hanging as closely to her as he was, but… that wasn't something I could fix without resorting to the forbidden act of controlling him. He was an animal, after all. I could have commanded he leave her alone, but I didn't! I could have forced her to love me, but I didn't! Not that I have any rights to do that to anyone, and I hate using my Song against anyone. It just… feels wrong. And the fact that I'm thinking about how I could have fixed this in the past… is even worse.

So… Vara thinks I'm toxic. Pushing too much of myself onto others, even without thinking of getting anything in return. But… how? Why? I'm not trying to be a bad person. I'm really not! I just… I just want Vara and her brother to like me. I just…

I grabbed my arms, squeezing as I tried to control my tears. I practically rushed through the crowds of War Mages, trying my best to get away from the party. I needed a place that I could sit down… cry this out, recollect myself, and then… then what? Go back to Vatu? He doesn't want to see me. Who else could I talk to though? I wasn't exactly friends with many people. I tried to keep to myself when we were training. I guess I could talk to almost anyone in our group. We're all family now, right? Surely, someone will spend a minute with me. Let me get their opinion on this whole thing. Someone has to understand me. Noria seems pretty cool.

I kept rushing through the groups of people, trying my best to snake my way through without bringing too much attention to myself. Energy flowed off their bodies freely, as if everyone were relaxed. Auras were annoying to be around. And in a setting like this, there were a lot of auras. I can feel them more easily than most other people, most elves even. While everyone can sense magick, I can sense souls. But it's more than that. I can feel their souls passing through me, almost as if I were not even a full body, but an empty vessel that just… absorbs everyone else into me. And I have to keep my mind focused to ignore the more… base feelings.

I held my breath as I walked past three guys talking to a girl. Two were obviously into her, I could feel the violent pulses of enamor flowing through my body, hitting me hard. I kind of… become what others send me. I've learned to separate myself from it, though. I always remember who I am, and push away what others send me. It makes me better at being cloaked from Illusion attacks, but… also more susceptible to them if I'm off guard. And if anyone learns I'm empathic, they also learn how to… push emotions onto me to force me to be distracted. Lust, anger, fear… those are the big ones for me. And these three guys were all lusty. Two wanted the girl, one of the guys wanted his best friend. And the girl was angry that they were chatting her up, and a little scared. Scared that she'd have to fight them. She was a Breton, and a small one at that. She knew she couldn't fight them off, and also knew her magick wouldn't be enough. And she was afraid that starting a scene wouldn't help her, but get her in trouble.

I felt the feelings to my core, and I gripped my arms tighter as I tried to walk past. But… I didn't. I stopped. And I turned to face the three guys. "She doesn't want to talk to you." My voice almost came out as a whisper.

One of the guys just barely heard me, turning to look at me. "What did you say?" He was a Nord, tall, buff, dark brown hair. I could feel his magickal aura building as he turned towards me, his attention directed at me. Whenever someone focuses on me, their aura flows completely through me. It's why I like to be invisible around others, or at least… I used to be. Spending time around Vatu, his friends, and my family… have really done a number on me. Normally, this wouldn't bother me. But… I'm hurt. I'm hurt that Vara hates me. And that means… I just… I can't. I can't focus on keeping myself protected. But… I'm also angry. And I wanted to take it out on someone. And this guy… I want him to leave the girl alone. She deserves some space.

I cleared my throat, looking up at him. "I said, she doesn't want to talk to you."

The Nord glanced down at me, almost laughing. "I'm sure she doesn't! But she doesn't have a choice." He looked back at her. "We… have something we need to discuss." He turned to look down at me. "You look familiar. Did we meet somewhere?" He reached down, grabbing my chin, lifting it up.

I knocked his hand away. "Okay, that's assault. I'm hurting you now." I poked him in the neck, feeding Restoration into his muscles. I caused a small spasm, one that caused his entire right side to seize up. The fun little things you could do with Restoration.

The Redguard turned to me, holding up his hands submissively. "Whoa, whoa! Calm down."

"What is going on?" The girl asked. She looked terrified now. Her emotions were running wild, and I could feel them even sharper than before. Almost like she was assaulting me. And that's when I recognized her. She was the Breton girl in the infirmary when I was healing Vatu. I took a turn healing her face. Gods, it looked different without a massive boot bruise imprinted on it.

"I'm saving you?" I asked, looking at the twitching Nord on the ground.

Her eyes hardened, glaring at me. "I don't need saving!" She walked around the table, bending down to touch the Nord's neck. "I'm sorry, Dorian. I'm so sorry."

He stopped spasming, rubbing his head as he sat up, glaring at me. "It's okay, Knight-Enchanter." My blood ran cold. "It's just a misunderstanding."

I reached out to take his hand, but he refused my hand, glaring at it while he reached for the other Nord's, the one that has a crush on him. "Thanks, Ignor."

"Anytime." Ignor replied with a wink.

I looked from him over to the Knight-Enchanter. "I'm so sorry about that. I was… I felt this…"

Her face turned red. "Oh no…" She covered her face. "I did it again!"

Did it again? What?

She looked at me through her fingers covering her face. "I guess this is my fault. I must have projected my fears onto you. And you… you must have thought that…" She looked at Dorian. "It's not like that. I can explain. I'm their leader. I'm giving them orders, and… I… I'm afraid that I'm not going to lead them correctly. So, they're not bothering me… I'm probably bothering them."

Dorian smirked. "You, bother me?" He laughed at the thought. "You're just too cute for that." He reached over, pinching the girl's cheek. "You remind me of my little sister, Hannah. I guess that would bother me." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't like taking orders from her."

The Knight-Enchanter rubbed the red spot on her cheek, glaring up at Dorian. "That hurt, Dorian."

"Think of his as payment for making me bring Lumie back to life. I hate using Necromancy." He turned to look at Ignor. "Well, this party just became interesting." He looked back to his Knight-Enchanter. "Ma'am, can we… talk about this later? We have a party to enjoy."

The girl sighed. "Yeah, fine. It's just… Lumie's been acting strangely. I think you need to do once over on her. Make sure she's… you know… all there? Talia will kill me if her older sister is a zombie."

Dorian shrugged. "I mean… I can take a look but… bringing people to life and knowing how they're supposed to feel are two different things. You need an empathic healer for something like that."

I raised my hand. "I'm an empathic healer." Everyone turned to look at me. "It's kind of… why I thought you were unwanted. You two…" I pointed to the Redguard, and then to Dorian. "were projecting a lot of… um… energy. And she was projecting fear and the need to retreat. So… I just kind of put two and two together. I was wrong, and I'm sorry for that." Damn it, Primrose! You're losing your head tonight. Just… just go do this thing. It will calm you down. Get your mind off things.

Dorian turned to look at the Knight-Enchanter. "Hear that, KE? You have competition. You're not the only empath anymore."

I glanced from him over to her. Her eyes were brimming with excitement, and I could feel her bright aura already consuming mine. "Can we be friends?" She almost screamed it to me. Everything about her aura was screaming at how badly she wanted to spend every minute around me.

Oh man… an extrovert. My natural enemy.

"Um…" She didn't wait as she wrapped her arms around me. "I have so many questions. First off… can you feel what I'm feeling? Is it distracting? Is it overbearing? Can you read minds? I'm like a hive mind empath. I can send thoughts and feelings to people. Some people claim I can even control them… and is it like that with you?"

I sighed as I just accepted this. This was the punishment I deserved for earlier. I bet no one else has to deal with stuff like this.

…

[Deejena]

"Isn't this just the best? We're like totally best friends now. I'm so glad there's another girl my age here! Everyone's so old, you know? Except my boyfriend. He's great, but he's not a girl, you know? It's not like I can talk to him about our stuff. Hey, what are you reading? Is that a good book? What's it about? It must be special, you haven't put it down since you set your mat down. Must be really good, you're not even looking at me. That's okay, I'm sure we'll have time to get to know each other. We're best friends, after all. I'm sure once your book is done with, you'll be ready to chat with me. I'll try to keep my voice down so I don't bother you. … Hey, where did you get those pajamas? They're cute. Like, super cute. The dark green really goes with your scales. And where did you get that bracelet?" Hists… why…

…

[Primrose]

I sighed as I let the younger girl hug me. "Not really. I can feel things, but I can't force people to do what I want." At least, not humans and elves. Khajiits, Lilmothiits, Argonians, Imgas… sure. But that's not an Empath thing, that's a Bosmer thing.

The girl released me from her hug, clearing her throat as she stepped in front of me. "I'm sorry, that was unprofessional." She stuck out her hand. "My name is Julie Gaerwing. I'm Unit 3's Knight-Enchanter. I guess you were one of the healers that worked on my face?" She pointed up to where the boot imprint used to be.

I nodded. "Yes, I was. My name is Primrose Bonros. I'm Unit 4's primary healer. Well, me and Tyanna. She was also healing your face. She kind of… took care of me too." She's the real hero of our unit. She takes care of me whenever I'm stuck healing someone else. She's just not as strong of a healer me. She's a nice person though. And no one thinks she's a toxic person to have around. "So, your friend? Where is she?"

Julie shook her head. "Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that. Not tonight anyway. This is supposed to be a night of relaxation."

I wish I could let it go, but… I'm trying to find something to do to get my mind off of Vara's angry face. "It's okay. I'm not really in the partying mood."

She glanced up at me, blinking as she started smiling. "Okay. Lumie is this way." She grabbed me by the hand, leading me away from the table. "Bye, Dorian, Jessie, Ignor. We'll continue our battle plans tomorrow."

"Ma'am." Dorian nodded.

I glanced back at Julie. "Does Dorian know Ignor…"

She nodded. "Oh, totally. They're a couple." She smiled. They were? Huh… I thought he was projecting lust onto Julie. I must have misread that. "Wait… did you pick that up?" Her eyes were practically shining as she rounded on me. "How's it work?"

I shrugged. "Um… from what I know, I can…" How do I phrase this? "take in other people's auras, or something like that. And my mind translates the energy for me, but I can't shut it out. It kind of… overwhelms me. I've learned to let it go, but… sometimes, it's just too much."

She smiled from ear to ear. "That sounds amazing!" I hate it. "I wish I had something like that instead of mind-controlling." She went back to pulling me through the crowd. "I mean… my unit has failed mission after mission because of my empathy. But that's the past. I didn't know what I was doing. And now… now that I'm aware that I can do this, we're planning on doing some training for it. We get our orders in a few days. I'll be busy learning how to lead my people without overwhelming us. Do you have any pointers?" She looked back at me.

I shrugged. "Honestly… shut down. Don't feel things. Pick something, and stay focused on it. Anything to keep yourself from thinking about it."

She shook her head. "I can't do that. I mean… if I get overwhelmed, that sounds like good advice, but… I have a gift! I should be embracing what makes me… me. You know what I mean? I can change people's lives, coordinate my unit in ways most units will never experience. I can unite my entire unit as a family! If I can figure this out, we'll be the best in the world. And… and I won't lose anyone else!" I could feel her sadness beginning to pour through her.

"So, you lost someone?"

She nodded. "A friend. Ahntresh. A smart Orc, very brave. He died because of my actions. And the following action from me almost got my entire unit killed. Boethiah knocked me out to stop me from killing everyone. That's why I had a massive boot bruise on my face." She sad-smiled back to me. You can't hide fake smiles from me. People can't lie around me either. I always know. People lie a lot these days. Vatu lies to me a lot. Lies a lot to himself too.

"That… that's hard." I replied. I know what she went through. Not only could I feel her every thought through emotional backlash, but… having seen Vatu nearly die twice, both times with me healing every inch of his body… I know what it's like to watch someone die in front of you. It hurts worse when you like them. The worst is when you love them, and can't bare not seeing them wake up. I'm somewhere between the latter two.

She glanced back at me. "Oh? Oh…" She narrowed her eyes. "I'm projecting again, aren't I?"

I shook my head. "You can't influence me. Being the kind of empath I am… I'm trained to ignore Suggestion types like you." Not how I wanted to phrase that, but… she seemed to be hesitant, worried that she affects everyone around her. "I mean… I've learned how to distinguish myself from outside emotions. You're a little brighter of a light that pushes through other auras, forcing them to take on your emotions in a way that most others like me would naturally pick up from anyone, and it's a very strong voice, but… I'm used to loud voices these days." Hans Battle-Born should be sneezing right about now. "But to explain it, your aura, your energy… just overwhelms anyone in close proximity to you. And whoever you bond with… shares a small link to you at all times. You could probably influence someone oceans away if you practiced hard enough."

I felt a wave of fear wash through her. "I'm sorry." I gave her hand a small squeeze. "I mean… it could have to be a conscious effort at that point. Lower thoughts, lower feelings, would only affect those nearby. In fact, you could also use this Battle Empathy to influence enemy units, make them want to surrender. You could end wars before they even began."

She came to a stop, and I didn't feel happiness, but more sadness coming from her. "Me? Use people? Force them to… do something?" She glanced back at me. "I… I can't do something like that. I… I don't want to. To go into someone's brain… force them to…" She shook her head. "I talked to the Khajiit about this, and he said something about… having me create feelings for him, but he didn't mean it. It was a lesson for me to learn. A lesson about how I was a person who wouldn't do stuff like that. I thought that I might one day… force someone to have feelings for me, simply because I like them, and would want them to be with me. And… what he was asking… was a lot like doing that to him… to force him to become something he wasn't. To make him feel something that wasn't… real. To change what made him the person he was. And it was then… I realized… I can't really use this power. I shouldn't. not in that way. I can make my people feel united, because we want that. I will save lives, the lives of my people. My family. And we've all agreed that… I should. But… forcing other people to quit… to surrender… do I have that right?"

Huh… I never… I never thought of it like that. I guess…

"Do I have the right to use animals in combat?" My mind was beginning to spin. "My hawk ally… he could die in this war. And I'm bonded to him. Does that give me a right to use him though?"

We stood there for a second. "Lumie didn't have a choice, either. We kind of… brought her back to life. She hasn't… been the same. She used to be energetic, loving to her sister. Now…" She continued pulling me. "She's… quiet. Reserved. And I want to help, but I can't. Not until I can control this… thing of mine. I don't want to influence her against her will. It's hard, being a leader that can't… lead without invading everyone's soul. No one would listen to me if this wasn't an army. I'm the youngest, except the Goblins."

We eventually broke through the tables of War Mages, and we ended up going to the lake. It felt nice to get away from the crowds of partying War Mages. It was quieter. I could hear crickets chirping, fish jumping up to catch dragonflies. The light breeze of wind brushing my face. I missed moments like this. Sitting in the sand next to the lake was a gray-scaled Argonian with long purple feathers. She had her legs tucked underneath her, and she just sat there, motionless as we walked up to her.

"Lumie!" Julie screamed. "I brought a new friend for you to meet."

I'm not too good at seeing auras. They're like background noise that I shut out. But now that I was alone with these two, and since I was trying to do whatever I could to help her, I could see the aura very clearly. A gray overlay. Not good. She's shut in then. No escaping that. I'm going to have to break it. The rest of her aura was a dark murky gray. Not good, very not good.

Lumie barely turned her head. "Oh, Julie. Want to come watch the stars?"

Julie hesitated, but ended up nodding. "Um, sure." She motioned to me to join her, her eyes wide and fearful. "Can our new friend join us?"

Lumie didn't answer. About what I expected. I guess it's my turn then. I walked up with Julie, sitting on her other side. As I sat down, I nodded to her. "Hello. I'm Primrose Bonros. And you are?"

"Luminari Snake-Fang. Everyone calls me Lumie." She glanced over to me. "You're a healer, aren't you?" Her voice was so… empty. Her eyes… blank.

I nodded. "Yes, I am."

"You've come here to fix me." She replied, not asking a question. "I am… broken." She glanced down. "I know there is something wrong. Emotions… I don't feel them anymore. Even our Knight-Enchanter's… I can't feel them. I know… somewhere in the back of my mind… I should feel things. The warmth of my sister's hug. The…" She stared off at the lake. "The stars are souls of the Aedra long passed, their lives given to bring this world to life. Our own gods… weakened to a point where they are almost as weak as mortals, all for the sake that life might exist. Organic life." She glanced over to me. "I was there… in the afterlife. I… I know what happens, and then… suddenly… I'm back. But… not whole. There is… something wrong. I can't… feel. I'm numb, but it's a painful numbness, like I've been robbed of something I once knew, but have forgotten."

I rested my hand on her shoulder, surprised that her aura wasn't invading mine. Her gray overlay was keeping me out, and keeping hers sealed in. "You've been through something traumatic. You've literally been ripped from this world and forced to come back. I'm afraid your soul has become… weakened. Maybe some piece of it remains in Aetherius?"

She shook her head. "No. All of me returned. Part of me is just dead." She looked down. "I will never feel anything ever again. Just like all the other Husks."

Husks? "Wait… that's a word I've heard before."

She nodded. "It happens to a lot of Argonians that enter the Soul Chamber. We are overwhelmed by emotions and it destroys us. Makes us more efficient mages. No emotion equals perfect control over Shadow." Lumie looked over to me. "I am now… complete. I am a useful tool for the War Mages. I am… content, I believe may be the word, to remain in this condition." Her fists started balling up. "I wish to cry… to feel sadness over this revelation… that I may never feel anything ever again. Even sadness would be an improvement."

Julie glanced at me. "Husk? Is that a bad thing?"

I nodded. "OH yeah. I used to work with one. They're… unfixable." No one has ever recovered from it. They're just… dead inside. "I can't heal her. There's nothing to heal. Her aura will just… reset."

Wow… someone I actually can't help. And… I knew I couldn't help her. This was an odd feeling. I would normally be all over her, doing everything I could to fix her. And yet… I know there is nothing I can do. Husks can't be fixed. Too many people like me have tried, and nearly died, trying to fix Husks like her. There hasn't been a recorded successful recovery. Any Husks that get close commit suicide. That's the first emotion they feel. If you can call suicide an emotion. After today, I very well might consider it an emotion. I sure feel like it.

"Well, I can't heal you. But… I can help you." I said as I looked out over the stars.

Lumie glanced over to me. "Oh?"

I sighed as I looked over to her. "You must feel like you're suffocating inside yourself. I can… go inside you. Into your brain. Knock some things around. Reset your mind. It might… restore you. It could also… kill you. And me. And anyone I take with me."

Lumie stared at the stars. "What are the odds?"

"It's never worked." On an Argonian. It worked on Vatu, but… he wasn't broken. He was ripped in spiritual half. "Every healer that's tried… has died, or come back just as broken."

"The odds are too great." She replied. "And… to say I'm suffocating is an odd… understatement while also being incorrect. Were I complete, yes… I would be suffocating… but I am not complete, and therefore, do not feel appropriately fearful of this abandonment of emotion." She glanced down. "And yet, I know I should be. I remember… how it would have felt… but… I can't remember… the feeling."

Julie wiped away a tear. "I can't imagine…"

"No, you can't." Lumie stated. "Not even I can imagine what it's like. I exist, but… in a hazy dream. Which I haven't had since I've come back. Dark empty sleep, motionless while the body rests, but the mind stays sharp, every thought… silenced for the duration of motionless lay down."

"That's got to suck." I replied. "To just… not feel stuff. I hate picking up everyone's emotions, but… I'd feel something than be incapable to feel anything at all. To imagine being ripped off from emotions, to be incapable to feel fear, feel joy." All the same, I wish I could stop my aching heart. "Can I talk to you two about something? Lumie, you specifically? You can rationalize where Julie and I can't."

Lumie nodded. "I have no objections."

Julie shook her head. "And pass up some juicy gossip?"

I sighed as I dug my legs under the sand. "So… I have this crush on these twins…"

"Oh, the Khajiit!" Julie smirked. "I remember that."

I nodded. "Yup… and his twin sister. You see, I kind of grew up with her, and always… had a crush on her. Like… I used to try kissing her when we were four. It's been a long thing between her and me. Her aura was always this… calming thing, this thing that gravitated me towards her. I didn't understand it back then, but… I think I was attracted to her energy. As an empath… it's too easy to fall into a trap like that. But… she's an amazing person. And her brother… is just as amazing. And… they're both such nice people."

"And the boy is cute." Julie replied. "And smart."

I nodded. "Exactly! So… you I told you about my ability to sense auras and stuff. I'm a healer, and… when people are hurt, I have this… nagging feeling that I have to help them. I can't stop it, I can't control it. I just have to fix whatever's broken. And Vatu… as you've seen… gets broken a lot. And… I have strong feelings for him. And he… has something for me. He told me. You were there for it." I looked over at Julie. "He confessed. He said…. He loves me…. Somewhat. He doesn't know what he feels."

"And he has a girlfriend." Julie replied.

I nodded. "Yes. Who is… probably dead by now." I wish I didn't have to state it like that, but it's the truth! She might be dead. We don't know! "She was arrested for treason against her own country. And Vatu wants to do whatever it takes to save her, even if it costs him his life. And I've seen him at his worst. I've brought him back from near death several times. And yet… he seems to think that what I do is unhealthy. He seems to think that… I'm using my saving his life and healing him against him. Like I'm holding my love for him hostage or something. When I met his sister, I told her about my healing him, and my feelings for them both. She… she also said I'm unhealthy, that what I'm doing is abusive. That I'm a toxic person to be around. She said that I'm holding her brother in debt for my healings, and that I'm forcing him to accept me because I've put so much labor into keeping him alive. And… that almost dying to save him is unhealthy for me too. Even though I've expressed that I will do it for anyone."

Julie glanced at me. "I remember the talk the two of you had. He mentioned something along the lines of you… almost dying trying to keep him alive? Several times?"

I nodded. "Yup, that's the part. I don't see it as a problem. I don't want Vatu to love me because I healed him. I just… I want him to feel… something towards me."

"He does." Julie replied. "He even said so. So, that's not enough then?"

I shook my head. "No. I want… I want him to love me back. I want to know that he loves me like I love him."

"But you love them both." Lumie said. "Your feelings are likely confused." She glanced at me. "Do you like this Khajiit boy because you've saved his life? I believe there is a condition where healers mistake obligations and patients and grow false feelings for those in their care. You cared for his twin sister, yes? Did she look like him?" I nodded. "So, your fascination may have began there, and then… you healed him, and became invested. An empath connecting with their patient is not unheard of. To connect with a patient that reminds you of an old crush, especially one you've saved from death, would be one special attachment. Hard to distinguish from actual feelings. Or they could be actual feelings. It could be pure stubbornness. You've put this much of yourself into having these feelings, so why shouldn't you push as much of yourself onto them as possible?" She leaned forward, resting a hand on my lap. "You offered to help me. If you climbed inside my head… invested in fixing what was wrong with me… would you consider staying with me? Investing your life trying to see complete what you started?"

"Umm…" I didn't feel connected to her the way I did to Vatu, or anyone else that was injured. Husks were outside of my domain when it came to healing, even my condition understood that.

Lumie nodded. "Do you see how that can be damaging to you? And for me? How would I feel if you risked your every day, your every bit of life energy… to fix me? To feel like… I should be indebted to you, even if you insist I shouldn't be. It's… always going to be there, in my mind. You saved my life. I should repay you. It's human nature. It's inhumane to encourage feelings in someone that may not have true feelings. I believe you should remove yourself from the individual for a while. Isolate the both of you, let life catch up. And then… when things are calm… if nothing has changed between the two of you, revisit these feelings. See if they can develop in a less… damaging way. As it is right now, this relationship may very well lead to a dark place. It needs time to reset, begin again. If that is even possible." Lumie took her hand off my thigh. "I am sorry if I have offended you."

I shook my head. Wow… I hadn't… I needed this. "Thanks, Lumie."

"And you dragged me into your relationship problems." Lumie said. "Not that I object. It is just another way these feelings you harbor are messy and unhealthy. In another life… I would have taken this opportunity to heal you myself." She almost smirked. "Nothing heals pain quite like… sand and water. I would have dragged you out to the sea, wrapped my arms around you…" She glared at me. "I'm sure you know where I would go with this."

Julie's face was bright red. "I really don't want to be here for this."

I almost laughed, digging my feet out of the sand. "And… that's all I can do for tonight." I glanced down at Lumie, giving her a toothy smile. "And… hey… if you wanted to… I might be willing to…"

Lumie looked away. "I see no reason to." She started standing up. "I also see no reason not to. I must warn you though. I cannot feel things towards you. This will purely be a physical experience. If you grow attached to me, you'll be adding yet another hapless loveless person on your heart." She was looking right through me. "Are you sure you want to risk that? I cannot offer you anything beyond physical comfort. It might be a good stimulant… but you risk damaging yourself even further."

Julie covered her ears as she started walking away. "I'm leaving now!"

Did I want to? I wanted to get my mind off of things, and… Lumie was offering to take my mind off of all the things for a while. But…

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. I can't burden you like that. I know you're a Husk but… you still have your own life. Your own feelings. I can't take advantage of you."

Lumie stepped forward. "Take advantage of me? I offered. It still stands."

I sighed. "But… you can't… I mean… is it real though? If you were you… would you do something like this?"

"I am me. I just can't feel emotions."

"That's what I mean!" I almost screamed. "When I… want to be with someone, I have to feel something for them first. You're offering to have sex with me… without having an emotional attachment. Doesn't that bother you? You can't feel anything for me, and I'm guessing physical stimulation also has to have some significance to you, right?"

She nodded. "You are correct. My old girlfriend will probably break up with me when I get home. She won't approve of me after what's happened to me."

I face-palmed. "And you have a girlfriend. Great. I was actually thinking about going through with this… but… it wouldn't be fair to either of you." My skin turned cold. "You… offered to have sex with me… while you already have a girlfriend."

She nodded. "I had not considered her to be a factor in this experience. I suppose it would be incorrect of me to finger you while still being emotionally connected to another individual."

Wow… Husks are a whole new concept for me. "Yeah! It would be."

Lumie blinked. "My sister might be willing to experience a physical relationship with you." Gods… why do I get stuck with all the crazy people?

…

[Nakuma]

"Oleeme! Get out of the bedroom!" I screamed, throwing my pillow at him.

"I do not understand. We were assigned the same room, and there is only one bed. It only makes sense that we share it."

"Not when I'm changing clothes!" I screamed, covering my body. "Give me some privacy to change my clothes!"

"You realize I cannot generate feelings for you, correct? Seeing you without clothes does not do anything for my body in the slightest. Your body is not quite up to the standard I would have held in the past. Having seen you without clothes several times through the peephole in the girl's locker room…"

"GET THE FUCK OUT." I threw the entire bed at him.

"I could also change alongside you if it would make this situation less problematic for you."

Cearbhail:

Um... I'm getting uncomfortable with this story again. I mean... I checked on the characters' sexual preferences when I started this chapter, having already decided on what I'd be doing it on... and then realized, Lumie is homosexual. And that means, there was a small chance she'd be into Primrose. And Primrose is Demi-bi, by the way. She kind of needs to emotionally connect with someone to actually grow feelings for someone. I know a lot of you are rolling your eyes, probably complaining about the alphabet labeling and whatnot. I don't really care, one way or the other on the matter. It exists, and would even without the labels. I'd still be ace without the name, but knowing the label is nice, so that I don't have to paragraph my every thought and experience to justify to someone why i'm not hetero or homo or... whatever. And with the label, there's a sort of validation that yeah... we exist. "Oh, you just haven't found the right now yet". Then I point to a whole site of others like me. "Or maybe this." It's kind of that reason why it's important, you know? And it helps me know who these characters are without having to memorize... thousands of characters. I at least know the basics. And for me... that's enough.

Oh, I got side-tracked. I hate doing that. Yeah, this chapter was weird. I wanted Primrose to sit down and reflect on who she was... and to begin fixing herself. To rebecome a character of worth. And she needs to find worth in herself to do that. I used to love Primrose as a character. I was proud that she was this little "rabbit" to Vatu's "Tiger", the tiny recluse that found solace in his arms, or something like that. But... she is... something that went wrong at some point. I messed her up. I have to do what I can to help her fix herself. Lumie too. All the Husks. You'll find out about that later.