Cearbhail:

So, I'm really proud of this chapter. It's a long one, but it's a good one.

[Nexa]

The image in the mirror was not one I had seen in a long time. Me… in a dress. The last time I had been in a dress like this, I was being announced as a Shadowblade. I was 10. The only other time I chose to dress like this was when I was entertaining our guests during the random Shadowmaster promotion ceremonies. Or the Noble Trees of Argonia Formal Balls that our family hosted every three years. Those ceremonies and parties were always boring and I wanted nothing more than to rip the dress off me and leave the party, but… even though I was a child, I was not allowed to misbehave. A princess must act like… a princess during every formal event. And our family does a lot of formal events. Each that includes bringing the lovely Princess Nexauvia along in tow. I always had to come along because my father would just look big and intimidating if he didn't have his little dragon sitting on his shoulder speaking to people in a squeaky/scratchy voice. I was his little political sweet-talker. Back when the two of us actually got along. And as I got older, and these events were less about the cute girl sweet-talking adults into respecting the advice of my father, and more about how… grand I looked entering a room, or how graceful I handled a sword. How eloquently I spoke. How lucky any… noble son would be to have me as their future bride. You can see why I have issues with events such as this.

I'm sure some of you reading this are scratching your heads at hearing me explain myself as some eloquent, well-behaved girl raised from good stock. I'm sure the first thing you remember is the time I gave Vatu the middle finger and then took him to a back alley to slit his throat before pressing him against the wall and fucking his world into new dimensions. Hey… I'm a complicated girl. And I have problems, and those problems are usually resolved with interesting solutions. Well, that and I've tried my best to become a different person from how I was raised. Keep a kettle's lid on too long and eventually… the top will pop. I popped.

Once I became a Shadowblade, I was raised by my Uncle Julanza. He took me away from the royal life as much as he could. I spent a lot of time with him, Aunt Riviella, and my cousin Meesei. And I have to say… my cousin and I got along a lot better than I got along with any noble's son or daughter. No standing around talking about our family's blah blah blah. Or how the slight scandal of the Shadowblade noble family of Vers and how their standing in the political landscape has ever so shifted. No sitting quietly at tables slowly chewing snails while listening to old retired Shadow Masters complaining about the new revised training methods new Shadowblades were receiving, and how it's making us too weak or something. All while, I was busy trying to remind myself that most of our teachers in Shadow were eliminated in the Border Wars and how the survivors revised our training structure. The newest Shadows were now trained to be even faster, stronger, and more resilient than ever before. If anything, the newest generation of Shadow users, Shadowscales, Wraiths, Blades, and whatever else we have in the works will be three times stronger than any that have come before.

Instead of all that bullshit, I was training in how to kill people. Using information to mark out possible assassination targets. How to say exactly the right thing to get people to tell me what I want. Honestly… it made me better at handling noble politics too. Which poisons were effective for any of the known races of Nirn. Learning about the differing customs of each known race, and how to blend in with a crowd even when I'm a walking lizard in the land of Altmer. Knowing how each race thinks of you and either playing the part to escape suspicion, or acting against any known stereotypes to avoid becoming a target yourself. Learning every vital organ, every pressure point in any given race, creature, demon. Every weakness ever discovered, ever exploited. Daedra were exciting to research. We gave them such a thrashing during the Oblivion Crisis that they stopped invading our swamps because we wouldn't stop invading their gates. And… I was there with Uncle Julanza, spending months inside one such gate. One year into my training, and Meesei was beginning hers. The four of us were on assignment to do as much damage as possible. My first official kill was a Clanfear. Meesei's was one of those Scamp things. Burned her feathers off. Had a good laugh about that. Meesei didn't find it funny until I showed her what her head looked like after the firebolt seared her feathers off. Then we had a good laugh while we ate the remains of the Scamp. That was what my training was like.

And that brings us back to right now. Me… looking at my deep purple dress. My hollowed-out eyes. My thinned frame. My bruised body. All of it. I survived. I survived the Oblivion Crisis. I survived training with my Uncle Julanza. I barely survived a healing class with a sadistic priestess, but I survived. I survived a surprise Aedric bombing of the Arcane University. I survived rescuing my crush's sister after a kill order was placed on her. I survived killing several of my own people to make sure that cute ball of fur was able to escape back to her brother. I was captured, tortured, and locked away for a week while given shock therapy. I survived. And here I stand, in my dress… wondering if I'll survive what's to come next. Another fucking ceremony where I have to wear this fucking dress.

All that being said, I can see why people liked seeing me so much. I didn't really pay much attention to it back when I was a child, but I can remember now the meetings I had to attend when some of the other noble families around Black Marsh. Whether the nobles were rich retired Shadowmasters (which are crowned as knights, thereby making their families higher nobles), or minor royalty running one of the other towns. In some cases, the older men came just to look at me and see how I 'fared'. I had no idea that they were silently weighing me as a political wedding with their offspring. I had no idea my father was actually planning on marrying me off to some random Argonian rich boy when it came time to do so. As a princess, it would inevitably be my duty to do so. Become Queen Nexauvia. And the boy I would be married to would likely become the next Warlord… well until he passed away or selected his successor. Then our son would take that role if he was old enough. That was Argonian placement privileges. That's why dear Father was Warlord.

My dresses were always a form of purple. I didn't know why back then. I thought it was because our culture liked hiding in the shadows or something and purple representing shadows. I can see now why that wasn't the case. My light lilac neck scales with my darker purple feather complimented any purple colored dress. Seeing how this one looked on me, fitted perfectly to my starved/deteriorated body… I still looked fucking beautiful. My scales might have paled by lack of attention given to them, my curves a little…showy (I mean my ribs are showing through the dress and my hips look sharp instead of round). But even with my malnourished body, this sparkly dress helped take the attention off of it. I would rock this dress.

I took my eyes off the mirror and forced myself to take in a deep breath. My body shifted in all sorts of pain. It hurt to breathe today. Why? I just spent all morning trying to escape the righteous anger of my extremely vindicated uncle who has a passion for making me a fully functional adult. An entire hour and a half of me dodging his accurate slashes with a wooden sword. An entire morning of flinching at every popping Shadow Ball that landed on my drunken head. Very sobering.

Yes, Shadowmaster Julanza was very polite to me this morning. I only had to survive his torture in the Shadowball Court. Not to be confused with Shadow Ball, the art form of using condensed Shadow in an explosive/implosive missile that you launch typically from your hands. Shadowball is a lot like dodgeball, only… with actual balls coated with Shadow. You know… to make it fun. And painful. But just the right amount of painful. Like… ooh, I got a welt across the full front of my face because my noob teammate didn't watch my six and instead fragged me by mistake painful. Oh yeah… the Shadowball court. Shadowball is a very popular sport here. It involves throwing these really light but very painful balls at the other team. And once again… they're usually covered in Shadow. If you're trained in using Shadow anyway. Normal people… you know… not me or my friends, just make due with rubber balls that won't pop when they slam into hard spines and spikes. You start with an uproar of maybe 10-50 people, only 30 balls and… all-out war. You can't cross the line into the other's boundary unless everyone has retreated past another line. Once the other team crosses the line, you can't cross yours anymore. Well, until you get the enemy team to retreat, you're locked in your zone. The more of a coward your team is… the more ground you lose. The game goes on until everyone from the other team is dead… I mean "defeated". But dead is a reality with this game. It can happen. If you're hit in the face. By your fucking noob teammate who goes off with every moving shadow that walks in front of him.

So, that was basically my morning. Shadowmaster was chasing me around, popping out of Shadows faster than me, pelting me with Shadow Balls. They exploded… a lot. And I was very slow, hungry, drunk, and out of shape. And he did it for one hour and a half without stopping, all while reminding me that the only reason I was suffering was because of how stupid I am as a person. If I stopped, I tasted shadow magic and a very hot/freezing cold flash of fire would spread throughout my whole body. My life would flash before my eyes before I could flash away. If I somehow escaped the pelting of exploding Shadow Balls, I was happily visited by Shadowmaster Julanza's fist. It made a very nice home in my face. Somewhere under my cheek and above my jaw. And then he would sweep my leg with his wooden sword. I have blood welts on my shins. SHINS! BLOODY SHINS!

Beyond all that, my face was also pretty heavily bruised. Uncle Julanza desperately wanted me to know that I fucked up royally. And he wanted me to show the world that I fucked up. But… luckily for me, I have the abused's best friend: make-up. Sitting on my dresser was my cover-scale. Cover-scale: for the teenage Argonian girl who gets abused by family but still has to show up to a family function and hide all the abuse they're forced to live through. Best-selling Argonian beautifier product on the market. It took almost a whole bottle of cover-scale to make my face look the light green that it usually was. The purple skin puffs I didn't need to cover at all. They looker bloodier than usual but this wasn't some wedding dinner that my father planned. This was something else. This was some fake welcome-back from my dangerous mission bullshit my father was putting on to hide the fact that I should have been murdered by the Courts.

So, I checked myself in the mirror one last time. My dress wasn't wrinkling in any way; my body looked more or less like a skeleton. Give it a week, and this intense nutrition schedule I'm forced on, and I'll get my normal form back. When I was satisfied with my mirrored reflection, I strapped on an arm-strapped sheath of throwing daggers. They were close to 8 inches long and I had six of them. It was hard to secure it on my skinny arm, so I just tore the sheath off and tied one of the daggers to the top of my arm. I had to have at least one weapon. I do have to make sure I'm keeping up appearances. I took two poisoned bo-shuriken and twirled them through my longer feathers in the back of my head. Hey… it's not like I'm nearly bald. I have a lot of feathers. Most Argonians have a full head of feathers, others don't get that gene and get spikes instead. I had both. Very small very dull spikes near the front and back, but mostly covered up by my purple feathers. And after that, I took two short swords, strapping them to the upper parts of my thighs, one for each leg. Just in case I need I need actual protection.

Once I had secured all the poisonous gory weapons as I could conceal on my very frail body, I left the room and made my way across the palace. The palace was just as beautiful as always. Dark blue walls with black runes scratched along the sides. The runes were for protection. The runes helped reinforce the idea that no one could just teleport into the palace, even if the barrier surrounding the whole city was destroyed. These runes were built after the incident between Vatu's father and my mother. Of course, the palace was underwater. Most of the entire city of Lilmoth was underwater. Argonians did not need to hold our breath underwater, and we're experts of water warfare, so… we knew that our capitol would be safest if it was underwater. We only need to worry about warriors carrying enchanted weapons, or spellcrafters. And we could handle both. But what we couldn't handle were massive waves of countless drones busting our windows. This was more spread out and in our control. We were the fastest thing underwater.

The servants were quick to get out of my way as I pushed myself as fast as I could go down the hall. It was a good thing the war meeting was in the war room and not somewhere outside the underwater castle. I don't care if cover-scale is waterproof, it smudges. And I don't want to show up to the meeting dripping wet. Sure it was ok in Argonian circles, but I have a feeling that this was not just going to be with Argonians. I heard from Uncle Julanza that we would be having quests today. And that means… I'm in this fucking dress. Everything matches the suspicion that we have more than just Shadowblades putting me through a fake welcome-home debriefing.

I spied the War Room just ahead, and I could tell it was already in use. The main double door was cracked open, and I could see my father just beyond the crack looking at some massive… thing. I'm not quite sure what it was.

"So, this is a construction of the world?" I could see my father looking off to his right. He was addressing someone while pointing to the giant… white orb floating off the ground.

I walked up to the door to the war room and paused before knocking on it. What did he mean by what he said: construction of the world? My first instinct was to barge in, but that would be rude. I'm in enough trouble as it was. I need to show my tact for once. I need to wait for the best moment to reveal myself. Like an introduction from my father mentioning his biggest mistakes. That's when I push the doors open and say, "And that's me!"

"Well, I'm afraid it's more complicated than that." Hmm… cocky whispy voice. Hint of arrogance and nasal thin passages. Altmer male early 100's… maybe late 90's. The arrogances ages into wispy arrogance in Altmers as they near their first century. "You see… in order to create this image, the Aldmeri Dominion used advanced magic to make the moon disappear into an astral realm for a month while we made a similar device that transmits a very focused image of the world. It was a very tough project, with the citizens of Elsweyr growing very anxious about the disappearance of their moon deity. We returned the moon as quickly as we could and began putting focusing crystals around all of Tamriel. The transmitter from the moon sends this information back to Tamriel and then the other transmitters here in Tamriel help create this accurately focused projection of the world." This Altmer sounded serious… forced eloquence. Calm and relaxed. Constipated and really needing to relieve his bladder. Bingo. Have his weakness.

"Ha!" My dad's sudden exclamation almost made me jump through my thin dress. "So, you're the person responsible for all the moon-worshipping cats going crazy?" My father started laughing. "I'm beginning to like you, Fiirnar."

Fiirnar? Uncle Julanza made me learn that name. The Overseer of the Aldmeri Dominion. He claimed leadership of all Summerset Isles, renaming it Alinor… after the capital city. Everyone else still calls it Summerset Isles. Us included. If he's here… something's up. I wonder if it has something to do with this War Council father so obviously dropped in our discussion a day ago. If Fiirnar is here, chatting up my father, he was probably part of this War Council. Maybe an ally? Or… a mark. Perhaps he's weighing his options?

"Oh, yes. I must admit… it wasn't our intended objective, but we did enjoy the results. It did lead into the Khajiits joining the Aldmeri Dominion as our… partner nation. But don't tell our friend the Mane about the disappearing moon issue. It could shatter our little alliance that I have pulled together for you. You know that the Khajiits would have never agreed to join you for this war council without my suggesting it." Fiirnar said with a warning snarl. I could tell he was snarling. He's an Altmer. It's all in the nasal blockage. "And if what you shared with me is correct… we need the allegiance of the Khajiits to find this temple inside Elsweyr."

"I'm not complaining, Fiirnar." My father sounded forcibly calmed. I could tell he was trying his best to hold onto Fiirnar's approval. Ah… so Fiirnar is important to my father's ambitions then. "I appreciate all that you have done for this war council already. I never thought that it would have been possible. In fact, this council will only exist because of what the battlemages shared with both of us. The secret ruins where Mannimarco managed to seal all the Aedra in… as well as the book of shadows he had all the information hidden in. As well as needing an Argonian Shadow Manipulator to create the darkened stones needed to seal the Aedra. All of our nations need to work together as one if we are to pull this off. I normally don't feel we need to work together with other nations, especially since the Aedra have left Argonia alone… but if we do not act as one… the world as we know it will fall. We are in agreement that the council will take place here in Argonia, correct?" Father was speaking just loudly enough that I could hear him. And that's when I knew… we're in some serious shit. Elsweyr is allied with us? That's… monumental. I knew the Aedra Extinction event was something else but… damn. Working with Khajiits? My father must be rolling around in his future grave that Beautrishu will shit on.

"Everyone is in agreement: Black Marsh is the safest location in all of Tamriel. The Aedra have ignored your region so far and the Aedra, according to a report from Erandur Ocato, the Aedra seem to limit themselves to above water. These monsters chased him into a river and then stopped trying to attack him. Their seeing abilities seem to be blocked by water. So, it's reasonable to believe that everyone will be safe underwater. The Aldmeri Dominion are building fall-out buildings under the ocean as we speak in case the inevitable should happen. The other war councilors will be here in a week to set up the terms of the alliance. After that we will decide how best to deploy our resistance." Fiirnar's constipation was getting the better of him. I could practically feel his butt tightening up as he needed to relieve himself of the growing protein-based meal he thought he could stomach from our restaurants.

"Princess Nexa! Quit hiding behind the door and get your ass in here, now!" My father screamed from the other side of the door.

His voice was very demanding and I found my shoulders and back tensing up from being caught. I let out a silent groan as I pushed the door open, forcing my eyes to take in everything that I could see. My father stood near the end of a round mahogany table. In the middle of the table stood a large blue ghostly image of Nirn: our world. I froze in the doorway as my eyes darted around the map. There were a lot of red dots swarming the map, but it looked randomized, like the dots didn't know what they were doing, just flying around in the arm. Swarming underneath them (on the planet itself) were combinations of yellow, green, and white dots. It only took me a few seconds of studying the map to discover what every dot meant. The red were obviously Aedra. Red being used for enemies and since the red dots were flying around, it only made sense. There were way too many white dots to be fighters, so I had to guess that they had to be civilians. The green dots were organizing around pockets of Aedra. They had to combatants. And the yellow… not sure. Maybe they were healers.

Father shook the cape that flowed behind him (he's so melodramatic) and stepped up to me. He waved me to look over at the imposing-looking Altmer standing near the other side of the table. He was dressed in the most dramatic looking leather overcoat I've ever seen. He was not being subtle about his 'badassness'. I met his incredibly white eyes for a second before I nodded to him. He graciously bowed back, letting a sinisterly sweet smirk poke through. He walked up to me, undressing me with his eyes. "Well, well. I've heard stories about the Shadowblade Princess Nexauvia. But… I had not expected her to look so… famished." His eyes turned harsh and then glanced over to Father with a set of judging eyes. "This is the leader of the Shadow Squad you referred me to as your 'special task force'?"

Father nodded. "She may not look like much but she makes up for it with spirit, determination, and intense loyalty." He growled out that last word. His eyes might not have betrayed it, nor could his voice. But that word was directed at me. Fuck you too, father. But more than anything, Father just lied his new ally. Always keeping people in the dark, always keeping people within dagger's range. But… it was more than that. Father was built on lies. He would never tell the truth to anyone he considered an enemy. He meant for me to hear this. He was telling me that I was on thin ice, to play along with him, and to know that this elf was not our friend. Devious as always, but I understand his motives. Father will always be known to me, after all he taught me all of this when I was a hatchling. "My daughter has been on a long assignment that has left her with little food. She had to survive on nothing more than water and snails for the past two years." He looked back at me and gave me that subtle look. Don't deny it. "She is a true fighter of Argonia."

Fiirnar glanced over at me and looked skeptical. "If you say so, Warlord." Fiirnar then directed my gaze to the giant floating orb of the world with the wave of his hand a strong smile. "Do you like my present to the Warlord as a symbol to our new alliance?"

"From what I can see… it's a map. Of the world." I nodded towards the floating image. Just looking deeper at it, I could see the borderlines that made up our massive world. What I did not expect to see was the other continent far to the east. It was almost just as large as ours. There was a large sheet of ice to the north. And something far in the south. I… I don't think anyone has heard of something in the south. The north was obvious. Atmora. Probably. The east… that must be Akavir. The South? I don't really know.

Fiirnar nodded his head, waving his hands across the massive image of our world. "It's a new device called an astral map. It has the potential to bring up any information you need. Troop movements, real-time battles. You can even zoom in and inspect someone."

I looked at the map, seeing a massive collection of people forming in the Waterfront District at the Imperial City. "What's going on at the Arcane University?"

Fiirnar glanced at me, smirking as he put his hand over the Imperial City. "Want to find out?"

I shrugged. "Information gathering while inspecting the quality of this… device you're sharing with our nation. So, yeah… let's do this. Let's see what's going on in the Imperial City."

Fiirnar pulled out the image, zooming in on the Imperial City's Waterfront District. I could tell almost immediately that there was a tournament of some kind beginning to build. Beyond that, I couldn't really see much else. "It's fuzzy." Fiirnar replied. "It would seem that this town has placed Soul Separation barriers. And while it does a lot to dull down the power of our device… it would seem that we're still able to get some rudimentary signal. Good to know." Fiirnar mused. "And now any black-ops traveling the world can still be tracked and warned of impeding dangers." Also found and killed. I'm sure that's all Fiirnar really cares about.

"From what I learned from the Shadowwraiths and Shadowscales I have in the Imperial City, the newly formed War Mages are holding a tournament to help relieve stress and to celebrate their new-found career choices as sacrificial lambs to a coming slaughter." Father surmised. "The Arch Mage is there presently, doing her duty at keeping the city warded against any Aedra activity."

Fiirnar nodded. "Ah… our newest allies. The War Mages of Cyrodiil and High Rock. You know… I'm not against experimenting on troops to make them stronger, but even I have ethics that I follow. Taking children and raising them to be warriors… that I can understand. The Orcs are great examples of that. But taking children, feeding them with experimental herbs to increase their combat effectiveness and magick generation… turning children into hyperaware mage killers… at the cost of their long-term sanity. I can't understand it."

Wait…

I looked at Fiirnar. "Wait a second. The War Mage Protocol made their troops eat… experimental herbs?" Vatu was already pretty fucked in the head. I can't imagine what he's going through with experimental herbs being fed to him.

Fiirnar glanced back at me. "High Rock. Not Cyrodiil. High Rock's War Mages are frightful to look at. Cyrodiil's mages seem… paled in comparison. The few records I did happen to glance at did have some potential recruits that I would like to examine for… scientific study… but other than that, their mages seem like normal children with specialized training in killing monsters and Daedra. Not sure how that will affect their ability to hurt Aedra, but at the very least, the next time Oblivion Gates start miraculously popping up in our world… these children will likely be the saving grace from that invasion."

That was good to hear. I was almost worried for someone else for once, and Fiirnar spared me a few minutes of worrying about my boyfriend.

I glanced back at the map. "So, you can see anything in the world. How did you pull this off?"

Fiirnar's smile was back, thicker than ever. "The Aldmeri Dominion has learned how to tap into the magicka of the world, using it as an amplifier to create a massive image of the world. Crystals that transmit vibrations are read through the airwaves of magicka, hit other receiver crystals set up around Tamriel, and then transmit to the moon, which plays a massive factor on the shifting pools of magicka. The image is sent to this combination of technology, alchemy, and magic. We can see everything." He said with amusement.

My eyes finally drifted around the chamber. There was no one else here, but the Queen. She was sitting comfortably on her throne, her left hand resting comfortably on her cheek. She looked bored out of her mind, well… more bored than usual. She was glancing down at me with indifferent eyes. I was used to her looking down at me like this. To her I was a traitor, just like Father suggested. When we met eyes, she seemed to focus on me, arching a single eyebrow. She didn't offer anything else though, leaving me with a glaring stare.

Looking around the room, I didn't see anyone but Shadowmaster Julanza standing near one of the corners, and Shadowmaster Riviella standing near the other corner. Where were all the Shadowmasters? All the Elders? This was not the type of meeting I thought I was going to be a part of. What the heck was I doing here? This was supposed to be a debriefing and reassignment. A hearing of sorts.

Father grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from Fiirnar. He pulled me close to him and said, "Listen, daughter. You have to pretend to be back from an assignment. Your hearing begins in a few minutes and I've made sure that the Council will not mention anything about your imprisonment during your hearing. You will be congratulated on accomplishing a spectacular mission. The reason being is that Councilor Fiirnar will be present to witness the birth of the Shadow Squad. We will then move onto the special lunch that we have planned for the two Shadowwraiths coming to join your Squad. You will introduce yourself, make them feel welcome, and invite them into your team. They will accept, I've already seen to it. After the lunch, the council will go over the narrowed list of Shadowscales. The majority of the Elders and the majority of the Council have selected their preferred teams, but even still, we have to make the final selection."

I rolled my eyes. "Isn't this all stuff we'll be going through in the 'debriefing'? Why are you telling me this now… in hushed voices?"

Father gave me a knowing glance. "You know why. Listening isn't your specialty."

He held that glare with me as Shadowmasters and elders started entering the chamber. And there I stood, watching as Shadowmasters current and retired started entering the war room. My eyes locked onto one: Shadowmaster Jinehm Vershani. She was one of the strongest Shadowmasters of her time. Born a Mage, she was one of the surviving Shadowblades during the Border Wars, and surviving Shadowmasters during the Khajiit invasion called the Blood-Rage War. She was retired, one of the few Shadowmasters that survived into retirement. The main reason being that most of the old generation was dead, killed in the two wars I mentioned. And as I stated, our training programs became that much stricter. She was leading the changes at the Shadowwraith academy. She taught me for a few weeks in how to use Shadow. I regret signing up for her class.

Following behind the aging Shadowmaster was her son, Trianna Vershani. And you'd never guess he was related to his mother. Well, maybe you could see it. While his mother had deep blue scales and orange neck scales, her son was light green with purple neck scales. Much like me. His green scales were deeper than mine though. They both had the same orange feathers, even if Jinehm's fell down to her neck while her son's fell down past his shoulders. And feathers don't really grow out once they reach their genetically locked size. My feathers will grow until they reach the point where they're supposed to be. I can only do so much with my hairstyle. It's the same with every Argonian. But since Hists are a thing… and they will literally make us new bodies if we request, by just drinking Hist Sap, I can will a new feather length or feather style/color into existence. It will take months to take effect, or I can go to a Hist and get it down in a day. A painful day, but in a day.

As I looked at the two Shadowmasters walking into the room, albeit followed by several other masters, these two in particular were looking at me with hateful glares. I mean… I did kill Jinlanzhin: Trianna's son, and Jinehm's grandson. They both wanted me executed for my crimes. They both wanted to see me hang by my entrails. The other Shadowmasters though, were pretty neutral on the matter. Except for Yuvenni, the Husk Shadowmaster. One of the most ruthless operators we have. There's conditioning, where you're taught to behave without thinking. And then there's Yuvenni. She's a walking rulebook. She read it, she recites it. She lives it. You could be her best friend, but the moment you step on a crack, she'll break your back.

I stood there with my father as the Shadowmasters all walked into the room. Father gave me a calculated warning as he waved to me. "Shadowblade Nexa. It's time." He almost growled to me as he joined the rest of the Shadowmasters at the Council's crescent-shaped table.

I looked over at Fiirnar as he stood by the corner of the room, mostly just watching what was happening. This was a learning moment for him. I wonder just what he'll learn today.

As all the Shadowmasters took their spots, Queen Ali-Jinasha stood up from hers. She stood up, probably for the first time in her life as far as I've known her, giving me a harsh glare as I took my position in the middle of the war room's crescent table. "I am Queen Ali-Jinasha Yun-Yin Frazviani. I am the presiding ruler of Argonia, the Queen of Shadows. And I will not stand for some mock-debrief. Guest noble from another nation having to witness this nonsense or not, I will not stand by this pretend nonsense."

Father looked at Grandmother, giving her a nod. "Queen… I believe we discussed this…"

"You talked, I decided." Queen Ali-Jinasha snapped at my father. And just like that, I saw a side of my father I never saw. He cowered into his seat, bowing to her as he turned his head back to me. His glare turned more worried than angry. Dad's worried for me? Oh shit… I'm in real trouble.

"Nexauvia Vio Frazviani. Your rank of Shadowblade is not only in question. Not only is your loyalty to your nation in question… your very life in is question. Your very soul is in question."

I could see the wide and shocked expression of Fiirnar as he glanced from the queen over to me. He knew something was wrong. I did something wrong.

"You violated the most sacred laws we have. Your grandfather was murdered by blood-ragers. Your mother was murdered by blood-ragers. Our country, our military, slaughtered, decimated by blood-ragers. And you not only helped bring blood-ragers into our kingdom, our capital city… but you helped them escape. And I can understand helping a girl, a little girl, leave our quarters. If you had just helped them leave, I would let that slide. But you knowingly ignored your orders and murdered 5 members of the Shadow Legion. Shadowblade Jinlanzhin Vershani; Shadowscales Ruzhena Verlaquen and Arcath Numa'Numa; and finally Towers Trin Westana and Pushani Raashva. Five people you murdered. I want it right now. Your reason. And be warned, Nexauvia. I have a low tolerance for bullshit. Even yours."

I sighed. "It's hard to say why I did it. But fine… you want to know. I'll tell you." I looked at everyone in the chamber. "I… was compromised while performing my duties in Cyrodiil. I met this Khajiit boy…"

Everyone in the chamber rolled their eyes at me. Some even began rubbing their eyes like this was something they heard about every day.

I spoke up to break them from their annoyed groans. "And this Khajiit was in the same Healing class as me. We had this horribly racist teacher. I wanted to learn combative healing… she wanted me to learn how to heal light cuts and pray to the Nine."

"The worst offense." Shadowmaster Korth said with a bemused smile.

I shrugged. "I was there to learn, not to pray. I wanted to test out of her class. She wanted me to stab someone. Rather… she wanted to stab me and this other boy… the Khajiit boy. The two only other like us in the class excluding this blue-scaled bitch sitting next to him."

"Bitch?" Shadowmaster Jinehm crossed her arms. "And what made this blue-scale a bitch? Was it because you hate your own kind?"

"Jealousy." I replied. "She is his best friend. And I am currently trying to bed him." I looked Jinehm straight in her eye. "She was competing with me for him. I won. She's a bitch." I hated having to admit I was jealous of whatever her name was, but… I needed to really explain this for everyone. I turned my attention back to Grandmother. "This teacher wanted to stab me in the hand a hundred times while stabbing the boy in his arm a hundred times, all while seeing if I could heal us both before we bled out."

The Shadowmasters all shared concerned glances. Yuvenni was the only one that spoke. "Sister Marie Palielle. A recorded sadist that was kicked out of the church for her remakes on the proper use of Restoration healing sessions, claiming that excessive wounds were a test of strength and conviction given to us by Arkay, and by facing death by vicious and painful wounds… we were to be rewarded for our pain. The college overlooked this thinking that her expertise in healing wounds would make her a better person to teach for battlemage recruits, and having an example of true evil would help prevent mages from freezing when confronting necromancers and witch hunters." Yuvenni nodded. "We have a watch list on her. She rallies at anti-beast raiding parties. She is currently on our hit list. If you reported her, we would have told you to eliminate her."

"I almost did." I replied back to Yuvenni. "I waited until the end of the class. Let everyone leave. I sat in my corner readying my weapons. I can't say I was scared of her, but there was one thing keeping me from killing her. The Khajiit boy. He was nervously waiting in his seat too. I thought he might be too scared to leave, but as he watched everyone leave and he kept darting his head around, his tail flicking… I noticed he was glancing back at me every so often. He was waiting for me to leave. He noticed I was still there, and he feared our teacher. And he thought leaving me there would put me in danger. So… I left. He followed.

"I continued on, he continued to follow. And so… I passed by this dark alleyway. And when we came across it, I reached back, grabbed him by his robe's collar, and pulled us into the darkness. I apologized for almost getting him killed, and then asked him why he waited. He told me he didn't feel right leaving me with that deranged woman. Feared for my safety, and thought that staying… he and I would stand a better chance of leaving with our tails intact. We introduced ourselves. And that's where that part ends. We kind of started dating."

"Name." Father demanded. "I want his name right now."

"Classified." I stuck out my tongue. "Just a boy, Father."

"Vatu Raz'Akha." Yuvenni announced. "I read the names of the Khajiits in the Imperial City's Arcane University's student roster after the Code: Red-Eye escaped our custody. We knew she was a mage by the robes she was wearing when she came in, and so we knew where to find records of her."

"And of course, our Shadowwraiths at the university send records to Warlord Zeelius." I nodded. "I… I honestly forgot about that." I turned back to Grandmother, giving her my full attention. "So, this boy. I started dating him. He has a smaller sister. I grew to like her. Her name was Nisha. You tried to have her killed. She was 12. It was her fucking birthday the day the University was attacked. Even if she had red eyes, even if that slight possibility was true with her… she wouldn't have unlocked them for three more years. And she wasn't a threat. She was practically my sister. If anything, she was a future asset for us to use against other blood-ragers if they even still exist."

"Why did you murder my son?!" Shadowmaster Trianna screamed from his chair, slamming his fist on the table. Now I had everyone's attention.

I sighed, looking down. I took a second to compose myself as I looked Trianna and Jinehm in the eye. "I was with Nisha and the other War Mages. I knew people were beginning to suspect her of being a blood-rager. It's only natural with us. And Yuvenni was being… her usual self."

"I can only be my usual self. That's the core understanding of what being one's usual self means." Yuvenni interrupted me.

"Shadowmaster Yuvenni told me of her suspicions of Nisha. The likeliness she had with some other tiger-striped Khajiit we killed. I could care less if Nisha was a red-eye. She was my sister. And Shadowmaster Yuvenni wanted to murder her for just looking like another Khajiit. Kill a 12 year-old girl, a girl who happens to be my boyfriend's sister. A girl I've grown very attached to. I couldn't let her die. That stood against everything I know and care about."

"And so… you committed treason. Killed my son." Trianna's voice trembled.

"I was in the plaza with the mages when it happened. Code Red-Eye was already in effect. Jinlanzhin saw me from across the plaza. He called out my name, ran up to speak to me. I didn't have anything on me that I could use to knock out someone like him. He was a stronger fighter. A more capable mage. He's a perfect Shadowblade." I pandered this shit out him while glaring Trianna down. "I tried to get him to leave, but… when he looked over my shoulder… he saw Nisha. And… just like that… he drew his sword. He was going to commit a child to death for a crime she hadn't committed. I gave him a light stabbing in the chest. I thought his Histskin would activate. Heal him over the course of a few moments while we escaped."

Trianna's jaw trembled. "He had a training accident. It triggered when I slashed his arm."

I shrugged. "I didn't want him to die. But… he was drawing attention and I needed discretion. I stabbed him and then walked him to the bathroom, where I thought he would regen in peace and quiet. I saw the light fade from his eyes. I knew he died before I left the bathroom. I am heartbroken over it. I really am. I hate myself for what I did. Jinlanzhin was an amazing person, and if I wasn't dating a Khajiit… I would have like to have been with him. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and he was targeting the wrong person. If he had ignored us, let me leave, he'd be here right now. And once I exited the bathroom, two more Shadowscales appeared. I had to get rid of them. One person already died so that Nisha could escape. Letting her die now... it would have made Jinlanzhin's death a waste. We raced for the closest exit portal. Two Tower Guards. I took them down. I resorted to drastic measures. I was so close to getting her out of this capital alive. I had to make sure she got out of here alive. I knew it would result in my death. I didn't care. I loved that fucking furball like a sister. I would killed myself if she died in my hands versus hugging her brother at their next reunion. And I still stand by that. You dragged me off, had me tailed…" I made sure to show off my lightly colored tail to Fiirnar and everyone else in the chamber. "Had me scaled! Locked me in a shocking prison for six fucking days. Deprived me of food and water. I barely survived. And then… instead of killing me like you planned, you are now going to use me to lead some suicide squad that might end up saving the whole fucking world? Why? I'm not the best Shadowblade in the world. I'm not anything. So, why don't you tell me why I'm really here?"

Queen Ali-Jinasha slammed her hand on the table, silencing every angry Shadowmaster getting ready to verbally tear me apart. The slam of her hand echoed through the room. Shadow was radiating off her entire body. She looked like a standing raven of pure Shadow. "You're here because I find it necessary. This is not out of love, granddaughter. This is out of my reason and my reason only. You are the next Queen of Shadows, and I will not have my legacy ruined by one mistake you made in the course of a rushed battlefield. I've lived a long time, dear granddaughter. I've seen a lot of things. And to hear that your actions were from a good heart stuck in a bad place… resonates with me. I wanted to hear your side of events to determine if you were worthy of this second chance. I find you worthy, Nexauvia Vio Frazviani. Your rank of Shadowblade is to be restored and you are to be the leader of the next Shadow Squad. So, Nexauvia Vio Frazviani… take a knee."

Oh… this was not what I was expecting to hear. I was almost lost and confused as I lowered myself down into kneeling. Grandmother morphed through the desk, Shadow allowing her to walk through dimensions as she glided up to me. A sharp blade black as the void shot out of her left hand. She placed the sharp blistering edge on my shoulder. It burned like hell, but Grandmother held it there. "This will scar, Nexauvia. Bear your failures with wisdom of how to better conduct yourself." She lifted the sword, bringing it over my head and down onto my other shoulder. "And with these marks, your punishment has been concluded. You have been absolved of your crimes. From today on, you are Shadowblade Nexauvia Vio Frazviani, leader of Lilmoth's Shadow Squad."

Grandmother lifted the Shadow Sword, letting it fade away as she lifted it. "Now rise, you piece of shit."

I slowly lifted myself back to my feet. My shoulders were burning really badly but I tried my best to ignore it. "Thank you, Queen of Shadows."

She glared at me, showing me a smile at the last moment. "I do believe you have a lunch to attend to? Your two first members will be eager to meet you."

Cearbhail:

So, it's official Nexa's been forgiven... by her family. There's a lot of stuff going on in the background, which I'm sure you're all starting to notice by now.