Cearbhail: Not a very long chapter, but I like the substance of it. I finally bring Nakuma back into the story. And boy does she have a real part of the story to contend with. Now, I hope you enjoy and I won't ruin the surprise of what is going on until you read it so...I'll say what I have to say at the bottom.

[Nakuma]

"And this is where you'll keep your studies. This is not permanent, mind you, and you'll most likely want to take all important materials with you when you begin your mission." Shadowmaster Julanza stated to me, motioning to the large array of desks and shelves in the corner of the Shadowwraith Barracks room.

Half of the room was dedicated to beds; the other half housed our individual research centers. The rest of the room was countless rows of bookshelves containing study material. Anything we could possibly want to know was in here for us to read. Of course, our beds may have been in the same room, but that was for safety and security purposes. They wanted us all in the same spot so they could find us all at once, if need be. The beds themselves were enchanted with maskers. Once we got in our bed, we could actually create our own space. Like a private room. This was luxury at its best. Something I did not expect to have… ever, but I guess being an Imperial Shadowwraith has its benefits. Working for the Warlord and all.

I nodded to him. "Thank you, Shadowmaster."

He glared down at me, non-blinking. I wasn't sure if he was angry with me, judging me, or just making a slight observation. It was a weird glance that I could place, but couldn't remember. He finally patted me on the shoulder. "Welcome to the Shadow Squad. I already have your first assignment. At first, I was reluctant to place you as the researcher, but I feel your… hmm, feelings on the matter will make you a prime investigator. I was going to place Oleeme as the investigator, but there is just one problem. I feel that he could, in fact, come to a quick and very precise conclusion, but it will be all factual. I need someone whose heart can judge right and wrong, not right and incorrect."

I found myself nodding. "Ok…?" What type of project was the Shadowmaster throwing on my shoulders if he could not trust Oleeme's judgment on the subject?

Shadowmaster Julanza pulled out a battered old red journal with a Conjuration ruin inscribed on it. He began to pass it to me, but stopped. "Be careful with this journal. It's very old." He placed it in my hands as gingerly as possible. "Now, I can already tell that if you want to continue researching this (as is your assignment), you will first need to replicate this ancient text. As in, word by word, picture by picture, you must recreate this text."

I carefully started flipping through the pages. I paused by one entry near the very beginning.

Shadow Journey, Entry one

Owner: Mannimarco Traven.

Where to start? Well, being a member of the Psijic Order is fascinating. Imagine, we're the first to ever attempt to understand the relationship that we have with our deeper selves. But is that really enough? I wish to understand it all, to unravel it all. But…we only live for so long! If only there were a way for me to break loose from the chains of life and death, to transcend to mortal coils and fulfill the undying wish that we all share: to live forever. Imagine the things we could do if we could break away from the chains of life and death. I want this, more than anything. I hope to find a way. As a Psijic Monk, you'd think it would be possible.

But I was wrong. The Psijic Order is still young, incomplete. We house some of the best minds but we dare not question what lies beyond, beneath. We live in a shadow of a doubt what is right and wrong, what we can do and what we shouldn't do. I have stopped believing that life has to end. We can do whatever we please, there has to be a way. I have started to share my doubts with Vanus. He believes that I am in too much of a rush, that even though I'm gifted that I should still think before I commit myself to this. He found me messing with my Mysticism with bodies. He found me reactivating old corpses in hopes to find out what I could do to keep myself alive. A living dead corpse, that is what I desire. A body that does not fall to decay, a mind that lives even longer. But a corpse is a corpse. I need an undying body. Never has such a thought been thought before, I will be the first.

I will find a way; it is only a matter of time. But…that's the issue isn't it? Time IS my issue.

I closed the journal, my face burning like I was heavily embarrassed. My hands trembled at holding the journal, my breath was caught in my throat. "This is…" I stopped, my throat closing itself. "The King of Worm's journal?"

Julanza nodded. "Yes, it is. And inside it is the information needed to rid this world of the Aedra. I have tasked you with this assignment. Recreate this journal. While doing so, I want you to research Black Soul Gems: what makes them, how they work. Then I want you to research the Black Soul Gem Capacitor. As you'll find out, it is a device designed to seal away massive amounts of Aedra. In fact, it gets rid of them all. You'll need to know how this device works. And finally, I want you to research Great Black Welkynd Stones: if any exist, where they are, how to create one if we need to. Everything, Nakuma. Everything."

My mind was spinning. This was a lot to be placed to study. And it was all on the spot. I looked down at the journal. Just recreating this journal of the sickest mind of Tamriel is enough to cripple some of the softer hearts in magic. He was the first, the original Lich. He was the thing that people pretended to not believe in. The first boogeyman that would take your body and mess around with it, creating a magic that runs off of the dead. And I was going to read his journal. I would be following his line of thought, the thoughts that took an innocent student who wanted nothing more than the whole truth…and turned him into a monster. I would have to follow that line of thought all the way to the journal's completion. I could easily crack under this amount of pressure.

I almost passed the journal back to Shadowmaster Julanza, but my hands quit before they began. That didn't stop my rising voice from crying out in alarm. "Shadowmaster! This…this is a dangerous thing. Don't you think that an emotionless person like Oleeme would be better suited for this type of study?"

He shook his head. "It is for those reasons that he is not. His blatant disregard for emotional morals (things that would make you die inside) are what would make his research incomplete. I need someone who will fear this study but take it seriously. You need to understand in full what it is that you are studying: what it feels like to create something, what the consequences of creating it are; that sort of stuff. This is the darkest of magic, Nakuma. But right now…it's this dark magic that will save our world. I need you to put aside your grievances with this corpse magic, but at the same time, I need you to be wary of it. We will not win this war by proving we are the monsters the Aedra believe us to be."

He paused after that, shaking his own head. My heart skipped a beat as the journal's energy started pulsating out to me, willing me to read it, to gain knowledge from it. I glanced down at the journal. Yeah, I was going to have to read this and follow the journey that made Mannimarco into the King of Worms. All that lost innocence that followed a thousand years of death magic. Sure, I was a Shadowwraith, we are taught necromancy, but…we don't go around and resurrect dead bodies just to gain knowledge of it. Theory works for most of us. The research I was going to be reading was going to be from the first one to do so. Imagine what might happen to my innocence in the process of this. Forever stained with knowledge that would never go away.

I finally nodded and pulled the journal back to me. "Yes, Shadowmaster. I shall begin researching at once."

He nodded back. "The fate of our world may very well depend on this information, Nakuma. The sooner you have it all figured out, the less people that may have to die in the future."

For now, maybe. But if this material exists for longer than this war, it very well might be used again for an eviler motive. If someone bad got their hands on this journal or the designs of whatever creations existed that could eradicate Aedra…imagine what could happen to our world if they got their hands on these designs. No, once I was done with this research and it was no longer needed, I was going to burn everything associated with it. No one else would ever know what happened, or how to recreate these ancient evils. It was for the good of us all. If Aedra ever returned again, we'd just have to find another way to get rid of them (like kill them with fire).

I finally placed the journal on my new desk and bowed to the Shadowmaster. "I understand the importance of this task, Shadowmaster."

He turned around and walked to the door. "Very good, Shadowwraith Nakuma. The Shadow Squad's primary mission begins in five days. You have until that time to compile as much information as you can. I at least want this journal recreated by then. We will not have the time permitted or the best equipment for transporting a raggedy old journal into a battlefield. If you can recreate the whole journal into something you can transport easily and without worry about water or fire damage…do it."

His glare stared through me. It was again trying to tell me just how important this task was. I finally bowed to him. "Yes, sir. I will begin immediately." So much for me touring the capital city. I thought to myself as Shadowmaster Julanza left through the doorway.

As soon as the Shadowmaster was gone, I sank into my chair. Any held breath that I had escaped through my mouth and my chest felt so much lighter. I leaned back and rubbed my eyes for a second (trying to relax as much as I could). When I finally opened my eyes, I looked down at the old red journal sitting only a foot away from me. I could feel the forbidden knowledge pouring off of it. And imagine, I would have to delve into this knowledge. Whether to keep a record of it for future references or to actually use the magics inside it. I sure hoped that I would not have to resort to using the dark magic hidden away inside these pages. This was Mannimarco's personal shadow journal. It held all his secrets: all his research, knowledge…everything. I would be lucky to walk away from this journal and consider walking breathing friends as still…well, friends.

I looked down at the journal and finally reached out for it. It was probably my imagination, but I thought for certain I heard a voice whispering to me as I reached for it. As my hand drifted closer an image of a giant fiery eye flashed into my mind, making me pull my hand back. Did…did I just make something referency happen? Wasn't this the wrong story for something like that? I shrugged as I shook the thought away. What the heck was I talking about? That time in the Soul Chamber did too much to my mind.

So, to keep my momentum going, I stood up and rushed over to the enchanted journals. If I took one of them and used them for the contents of this text, I could easily find myself with an indestructible journal to copy all this info down into. But that was a problem. These journals are known to take on their own personality. Mannimarco's took on his. This journal would take on both of ours. It would combine how I thought on the subject and maybe confuse the message of the journal. Hopefully it wouldn't make researching the feeling behind the necromancy harder, but…I couldn't be sure of anything just yet. I would have to start with the beginning. With that chapter I just read.

…

[Vatu]

Primrose sat down in front of me, her face looking kind. She was undoubtedly the second happiest person to have me back. Nisha held that record. She actually rolled on the ground in the fetal position, crying her eyes out while everyone looked for me. She really didn't want to lose me. Primrose waited patiently beside her, trying to keep her calm-ish. It was a very kind gesture and for that, I am grateful. That did not change the fact that my life was hard to deal with. That…and it was about to become a lot more difficult.

Finding out that Nexa was going to be thrown back into my life told me two things: one…I'm fucked. Two…I'm screwed. Not in the usual way that involves a male and a female, but the more painful version. I have two females that both love me. I have two females that are fighting for me to love them. That means that having both of them, together, trying to win me over…would severely fuck me up. Normal people might enjoy these types of situations, but I am not normal. I am not a social person, I do not like getting too much attention, and I do not like being the subject of a love triangle. I can barely understand a full emotion that involves love anyway. Now I have two of them trying to get me to accept them over the other. No matter what…someone was not going to walk away with a smile. Someone was going to get their heart pulled out and smashed. And if I could not solve my own emotional dilemma it would be two shattered hearts. Oh, and mine, which is already shattered.

That was why Primrose was standing in sitting in front of me. She had to know. She had a right to know. I told her earlier about the other people fighting for my love. I had to at least tell Primrose that we were going to be meeting her. I owed her that much at least.

"Rose, I have something to tell you. I know this is sudden but…"

"Yes, I will marry you." She squeaked out suddenly. Her face was bright red and she looked like a deer caught in a stampede. Then her eyes narrowed in humor and she smiled thinly. She finally laughed and leaned back. "But I'm sure that is not what you were going to say."

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose while my tail flicked everywhere. Primrose watched my tail flick around with a growing smile. "Aw, did I embarrass the kitty?" She leaned forward, smiling even more. "I'm glad I can joke with you like this. A month ago, it would have killed me to announce that."

Why does she have to mess with me? I mean, a month ago, she was the quietest person around and even when she announced how much she loved me, she was still the shy person. Now that she was becoming more comfortable with having me around, she seemed different, more open. Now she joked about getting married. I guess it was only natural for her to think about those things, even if every time I thought about something similar…all I saw was a bloody corpse that I fell in love with. That was why I couldn't love anything. If I got too attached and I lost it…I would lose everything.

When my tail stopped flicking, I said, "Please, Rose… Don't make me feel things right now. I just wrecked a village of people because I started feeling things. I don't think you understand just how much it bothers me that…one minute I could kill the things that I love."

She shed a few tears and pulled me in for a hug. "Vatu…I do understand enough to know that that's why I can't just leave you alone. If being with someone can keep you from triggering it, then…I want to be that someone. Being alone will not solve your problems. Being with someone will give you an extra heart to fight alongside with."

She rubbed my back in that fashion that made me relax. "This actually wasn't the conversation I wanted to have today. I have some news." When she pulled me away, I could see her scanning my eyes. I looked her right in the eyes as I said, "I learned that we are linking up with a squad of Shadowscales. Among them is my old…friend. Her name is Nexa. She was the Argonian that saved my sister. She was the other girl that I had feelings for."

Primrose sat there a moment before smiling. "So, I have a rival then?" She nodded. "Then I won't give up. I just work even harder to win you over."

I suppressed the urge to groan and roll my eyes. She had every right to do whatever she wanted. Regardless of anything I could say, she would just smile and do whatever she wanted. Nexa already knew about Primrose so…that wouldn't be as much of a surprise. What would surprise would be is how the two of them would react to each other while around me and while not around me. Only time will tell just how fucked up my life will become soon enough.

Cearbhail: Ok, so I wanted to talk about just how hard it was to create my Mannimarco character. I mean, I will actually have to manually create the knowledge-hungry student that wants nothing more than to learn the whole truth. How that truth makes him turn against his friend Vanus. How that relationship falls apart and how Mannimarco becomes the King of Worms. Such a tale to be told and I'm not entirely sure that I'm not completely selected for that role. I mean, why the hell not but sure why not.