The one you've been waiting for...

I couldn't go to the forest, it would have drawn even more attention to myself. So, I circled around campus before venturing to find Jake.

To say he was anxious would be an understatement – he was frantic. We hadn't seen each other since I'd find out the truth and regardless of how strong our bond was, we both needed that physical connection. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed my head, completely relaxing now he had proof I was alright – physically at least. He was shirtless as he had been parading as a wolf for most of the day. As he held me, I splayed my hands on his back, forgetting the skin on skin contact. He stiffened as he saw my minor confrontation with Edward replay. I didn't even realise until I felt the vibrations of a growl rumble in his chest. I looked up and saw that his jaw was clenched and his eyes had turned a feverish black.

"Jake?" I whispered.

His eyes never fell to mine, he kept them ingrained on something in the distance over my head.

"What did he do?" He spoke through gritted teeth.

"You already saw. Nothing else, I promise, he didn't hurt me," I told him. "Besides, that's not what I'm worried about."

He looked at my eyes, his anger depleting slightly. "What's worrying you?"

"I dropped us in it!"

"No, you didn't," he argued.

"Yes I did. I let my human façade slip, he'll figure me out." Now I was the frantic one.

"Nessie, regardless of what he thinks, he won't automatically assume that you're Bella's daughter and he thinks you're human, doesn't he? You're too human for him to think you're a vampire and he couldn't know that hybrids exist. You need to calm down and not worry. If you worry then it'll give him a reason to suspect something-"

"But he already does suspect something!" I exclaimed, breaking away from him and throwing my arms in the air in exasperation.

Jake sighed, "If that's the case, then avoid him and he won't be able to figure out anything else."

"It's impossible to avoid him when we share a class."

"So drop the class," he said, as if it was the most obvious option possible. "And call your mom. She'll want to know what happened.

"Jake…" I complained.

He laughed. "Nessie, she'll find out if it isn't from you."

"You mean you'll tell her," I sulked. "Aren't I your priority?"

He drew me back into the comfort of his arms. "You know you are. You're Bella's priority too, which is why you should tell her."

I closed my eyes and let his warmth seep into me.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

He kissed my head. "You know I'm never far away."

"You just can't stay away," I joked. I lifted my chin and his face was serious. "I'm glad you're never too far away really."

His laugh resonated within me. "You should eat."

I nodded against his chest, fully aware that he was right, but remained where I was. "Five more minutes."

He held me tighter.

-o0o-

After we hunted, I did as I was told and called my mom. I explained what I'd done during my brief encounter with Edward.

"You don't have anything to worry about," she assured me.

I sighed. "But what if he figures me out? It'll lead back to you."

"So you growled at him, it isn't a big deal. Humans are capable of doing that too," she said. "And if he does somehow figure it out, we'll deal with the fallout then."

I tried to listen to what she was saying, but I didn't want to be responsible for causing my mom anymore pain. If I could avoid them then I stood a chance of getting on with things normally, and hopefully our paths would stop crossing. They would realise I didn't want to be around them, and they wouldn't care all that much. I hadn't been friends with Alice all that long, and Edward wasn't even an acquaintance really.

"If I can avoid seeing them then everything would be okay, I need distance from them to process everything and then I'll be able to act normal if I were to see them," I explained semi-confidently.

"It sounds like you know what you're doing," Bella chuckled.

One realisation sucker-punched that plan: "But they're in my classes. I see them when I try not to. It's practically impossible to avoid them. I'm worried that if I don't have this distance from him that I'll say something or do something even more detrimental next time-"

"Baby, if it's worrying you that much, come home and you can apply for different colleges next year."

"No," I declared. Even without a sensible plan, I knew that leaving was not going to be an option. As a last resort, maybe, but I couldn't just pick up and run because of them. This was my life and I was finally doing what I had been wanting to do. I had made friends and I was gaining an experience; one that I was enjoying. It was just my luck that my 'family' would be thrown into the mix along with everything else, but I would not let that deter me from my original path. They would not hold that power.

"No," I repeated. "I'm not coming home. I'll figure something out."

Bella didn't try to argue. She trusted me to make my own decisions. So, we said our goodbyes and after we hung up, I collected my thoughts.

Out of my limited options, Jake's suggestion seemed the most plausible.

So, in my cowardly state, I went and spoke to the people I needed to speak to in order to transfer out of the class I shared with Edward and into a different class. I didn't dare risk the opportunity for him to be in my presence again.

I was unable to switch into a different class as it was too far into the semester. Fortunately, as I was still taking enough credits by having art as an elective, they suggested I drop the module entirely. It was a shame that I had to do that but it was a necessary choice in my mind. I wasn't going to give up my art for the sake of avoiding Alice though. Alice I could handle. She didn't intimidate me the way that Edward did, and I didn't hate her as much.

Hate: to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward.

A strong word, especially from me seeing as I'd never hated anyone before. But the way they made me feel, the way they hurt my mom and the way they seemed okay with it all made it so. If I was being completely honest, I wanted to hate them; it was easier.

-o0o-

An exhaustion I had never experienced hit my like a runaway freight train. Therefore, an early night was on the cards. My emotions had been at an all-time high recently so it was no wonder I felt this lethargic.

A deep sleep came easy. At first, only warm blackness kept me safe and comforted as I dozed. But as my subconscious state took over my mind, the images began appearing.

Blood. Cold eyes. Fire. Bodies. Charlie's body, hard cold and unmoving. Bella. Eyes frozen in grief. The images held no conclusive storyline and weren't even linked, but with each one that manifested, the sense of dread and fear coiled itself tighter around me.

I saw the destruction. I felt the flames of the fire. I tasted the blood; foul and fermented. The air tasted thick with despair. I heard the screams. Every part of me was locked in a nightmare I couldn't escape. The worst thing: I knew I was dreaming. I shouted at myself to wake up. But the more I told myself to wake up, the more real the dream felt. Wait, was I actually dreaming?

I jolted harshly, throwing me back to a space that felt familiar. A bed. A pillow. The diluted smell of my vanilla scented perfume encased in dust particles lingering in the air. I could both hear and feel my heart racing, four times quicker than its usual speed. I tried to lift my head, but as I was no longer held down, the force I used jolted my neck and forced me back into the pillow. A cry of pain escaped. The images clung to the recesses of my mind; a thick fog that kept my eyes closed.

My cry pierced my eardrum yet it seemed like it was in a different space.

A voice that wasn't mine crept in: "Shh, calm down."

I let out a harsh breath – one that shook my entire body. The images clung to the recesses of my mind; a thick fog that kept my eyes closed.

"Baby, you need to calm down. Breathe, Ness, just breathe, you're okay."

The voice was familiar, but my mind refused to place it. It had all felt so real. Was it really all a dream? No, it couldn't be.

"Breathe. You're fine. Come back to me, Ness."

I did as I was told. I attempted to control my state of mind and focus on the simplest survival reflex. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

As my mind calmed and the fog cleared, the feelings in my body returned. My muscles felt limp and weak, my head pounded relentlessly and my head was elevated by something else, something cold.

A cold hand brushed through my hair before being rested gently on my forehead. It was nice and eased the pounding somewhat. I could hear a soft feminine whisper close to me, reassuring either me or herself, "You're okay, you're okay."

Feeling in control, I opened my heavy lids and waited for the remaining fog to disburse from around my pupils. I turned my head and looked at who was with me: red lips, heart-shaped face, sparkling gold eyes and soft brown hair. Mom. I stared in wonder before acknowledging the look of age in her eyes.

In humans, when someone had experienced a bout of extreme anxiety, their eyes would bag and look ever-so-slightly bruised. Their facial colouring would lessen vaguely, and small premature wrinkles barely a half-centimetre long would tighten around a strained smile. With vampires it was impossible to tell with these facial differences. The only indication was the dullness presented in their eyes and the frown that graced their face. It was what I was looking at now on Bella's face. It was a look that shattered my beating heart.

"Mom," I croaked.

"Are you okay?" She whispered.

I wasn't sure. I could tell I was no longer dreaming, but my mind still felt clouded and it hurt like hell.

"That was some dream, huh."

My throat clenched and I could feel my fear returning; the web still felt as it is consumed me. The images replayed rapidly in my head no matter how much I tried to shut them out.

"They can't hurt me," she whispered, still stroking my hair.

My tears were falling silently. "Everywhere I go I see them, and every time I see them I think of what they put you through. I hate them for it, Mom. I'm afraid what it will do to you if they come back around."

"Your dream," she commented. "Do you want a relationship with them?"

I shook my head meekly.

Her arms tightened around me as her head fell to rest on my crown. "Baby, I asked you to make your own decisions. I didn't want you to factor me into this. They're your family and you don't know the whole story-"

"I know enough, Mom," I interrupted. "Even without your letter, I hated them before, I just didn't know who to hate."

I sat up and turned in her embrace to look at her, disregarding the continuous throbbing in my head, "When something or someone reminded you of them, or something was said about them – even the smallest detail – you crumbled for a split second and I noticed. You can pretend that it doesn't affect you anymore but I've noticed, Mom, and it's the worst kind of pain for me; seeing you hurt hurts me and knowing they did that," I shook my head in disbelief just thinking about the past; times when I'd witnessed her face fall; the light disappear from her eyes for a fraction of a second before she regained control, "I can't help but hate them. The only difference is that I now know who to hate."

I had no idea how long we laid like this. Time had no meaning but it seemed to halt as we both let our emotions take hold. She stroked my hair and left lingering kisses as she tried to console me. I'm sure if she were human, she'd have been crying too.

-o0o-

I re-awoke feeling much better, if not slightly too well rested. The dorm room was darkened as the afternoon wore on; the pitter patter of raindrops I could hear outside told me that the rest of the day was forecast as dull.

I stretched and yawned simultaneously as I looked around me for any signs that Bella had returned. She'd left just as I was falling back to sleep with the promise that she'd be back later to check on me.

A mouth-watering smell filled my senses, distracting me from my musings. Sat on my desk was a grilled chicken sandwich, on a plastic plate. On the chair to my desk, lay a pair of jeans and a simple long sleeved, sweater.

I'd never eaten so quickly before, but it was obvious I need the nutrition. With that in mind, I made a mental note to go hunting when Bella returned. After my appetite was sated, I brushed my teeth and hair (not with the same brush) and got dressed. I wanted to get out of this room and get some fresh air into my lungs.

It had been a while since I'd done anything other than school work in my spare time. It was either that or hanging out with Jenna that filled my time these days. What I really craved right now was to endure one of my much loved pastimes. I wanted to sketch more than anything, but the weather made it impossible without ruining any paper.

The only thing left for me to do was visit the auditorium. It had been a while since I indulged in my music. I'd played in the music rooms a few times before, and one of the staff said I was able to use the grand piano in the auditorium. I had been too nervous to play in there up till now, but today felt right and I was more than ready to test the keys and strings that made the beautiful music that I wanted to hear.

Walking outside, the air was cooler than I anticipated. Mixed in with the light wind was an icy bite, reminding me that we were a month away from Christmas and winter's peek. If I were human, the light sweater I wore would not have been enough to provide warmth. For me, it was enough. The ice nipped my cheeks and it made the air feel fresher.

I kept my pace steady as I walked towards the music block, eyeing the few stray students that remained on campus that had yet to return home for the festivities. The reminder of the holidays had me smiling with excited anticipation. Not only would I be returning to my safe haven but we had the Hart's joining us this year and I couldn't wait.

I felt the change in temperature as soon as I stepped through the doorway. Lights were still on in almost every room in the block but I didn't sense anyone around. I continued down the corridor and the few stairs that lead to the auditorium from the back. It was smaller than I expected, seating less than four-hundred people but that was fine by me. The high ceilings offered great acoustics for any music without the use of an amp. The back entrance took me directly through the draping curtains and onto the stage.

At the centre was a large black piano that sat solo in a spotlight. I couldn't help thinking that it was kind of cliché for the only object that was lit to be the one thing I was here for. I approached it with caution, or – more appropriately – adoration. I'd never had the chance to play a grand before, usually sticking to my small model that resided in my bedroom at home.

My hand traced the keys without pressing down before my hand fell to the soft leather of the bench. I sat and lightly touched the keys. Even the random, uncoordinated keys sounded perfect and crisp as they echoed from the walls.

I began to play Beethoven's 'Für Elise' – one of the first professional compositions I'd learnt how to play before seamlessly transitioning into one of the few compositions I had written myself. It was light tune that always reminded me of my mom. I'd sat on my piano bench at home with the opening eight bars not knowing what I could do next. I'd hit a complete blank before Bella came and sat down next to me asking to hear it. I'd shown her the ten seconds I had and she'd beamed telling me I was doing an amazing job. We talked for a while about family and after she'd left I remained smiling. As I smiled for my mom, the notes came effortlessly and I was able to write them down and remember it as her song.

I hadn't been the only person to write a song using her for inspiration though. It was one of my favourite things to play and I was unsure how to feel about it now that the composer had a face and a name.

Conflicted, I began to play the lullaby; my hands moving freely as if on their own without my input. The melody never ceased to comfort me and my heart swelled at the thought of Bella and not the person who wrote it. This was truly her lullaby. I closed my eyes and let my hands move. I'd played it that many times that I didn't need to watch the keys to make sure they were right.

Getting lost in the music was a mistake. My senses were concentrating on the melody too much, so when they were alerted to another presence in the room, it was too late.

I stood up and span around in time to see the blur before a strong vice clutched my throat, strangling the oxygen from my lungs. My feet were lifted from the floor as my lower back was pressed painfully into the wooden contours of the piano I'd just been playing. My own hands reached up and tried to scratch away the hand that was wrapped around my throat.

My vision blurred but I could make out whose face was inches from mine; eyes black and blazing. Fear overwhelmed me as he snarled, "Who are you? What do you know about her?"

I was looking at a pure vampire, not one that was controlling himself and protecting the charade. Edward had let go completely as his rage consumed him. My head felt light and dizzy from lack of oxygen. He shook me and screamed at me again, but my senses were too lost to understand. His grip eased the smallest fraction. A sliver of air made it down my windpipe, but thankfully it was enough to stop me from passing out.

"Get your hands off of her!"

The grip vanished and I fell back to the ground, bracing my knees for support as I hungrily heaved in the desired air.

I recognised that voice.

I straightened up and looked into my mother's familiar eyes; compassion and worry covering her features. Her cold hands rested on my cheeks and I felt safe.

I tried a minor glance over her shoulder and saw Edward on the floor, staring at Bella's back with pure shock written across his face. I was aware of her asking me something, but I couldn't focus on what she was saying. Instead, I warily watched Edward from the corner of my eye, cringing when he finally spoke:

"Bella?"