Cearbhail: Oh my God...this took me so long to even do. I...I...

I wish I could write this story better. I wish I had at least some idea what the heck I wanted to do with it. Well, there's so much that I do want to do with it, but it's this filler space that I have to contend with.. and then there's the character development, showing the individual characters within the squad becoming more than just mindless drones, the whole warfront, and everything else in between. This becomes a very complete book if I do everything right, but it's just this part of the story that I have no clues for. Beginnings suck, and so do endings, but everything else in between is fine. I just need to get past this shabla beginning.

-Nexa-

This was not how I planned to reacquaint with Vatu. I did not expect him to be involved with the Bosmer I saw save his life. Well…I can't blame him. I wish that I could blame him and her for anything…but it was just as much my fault as theirs. I had known that any hesitation I had for expressing myself to Vatu would in fact lead to someone else falling in love with him. If I had just allowed myself to just…well…openly like Vatu, it would have led to a much different story. Well…maybe. I did not spend a lot of time with Vatu, not openly discussed time, but we did spend enough time to get to know each other.

None of that mattered at the moment. What mattered was the Khajiit standing in front of me now. Standing in front of me was a set of semi-upset/suspicious amber eyes. Along with those eyes was a frown filled with pointy fangs. A bright orange tail with a white tip flicked angrily. Clenched fists shook at the sides, clenching fur just to keep themselves busy. This was not a side of Vatu that I saw often. I never saw him angry before.

"Vatu…" I started. I took notice to the transmitter on my shoulder and knew that I had to keep everything I said secret. I opened my mind and started a telepathic link to him. Vatu…I'm sorry. I cannot openly discuss anything with you. We are being watched.

Vatu nodded. Nexa…I heard from Nisha that you did not try to kill her, but the other way around. I'm guessing you said otherwise because you're being spied upon?

I smiled. I sure hoped Vatu would understand my hint. Earlier, when I knew that I was being watched by my father, I had to start off our conversation with a fake statement that I had tried to kill Nisha and openly apologizing. It would help clear my name for now. It would make my later betrayal that much easier. Well…if I decided to betray my nation. I knew I had orders to kill him, but if those orders were never enforced, there would be nothing to betray. I wish I had a way of making it so that I never had to choose between Vatu and Argonia.

I smiled at Vatu and nodded, saying, "Right, Battlemage Vatu." I felt the transmitter click off. Well, let's just say I had a special little spell attached to the device. While I was being spied upon by my father, I could feel it activating. When it turned off, I knew my father was done listening to me. I just know that he was listening to what I had to say to Vatu just to see if I was conspiring against him. I wasn't sure if he was still watching me, but he at least wasn't listening to me anymore.

I pulled Vatu in for a hug. "Ok, we're at least not being listened to now. So…how's everyone? How's Nisha, Jurard, or even that older Khajiit?"

Vatu smiled. "Oh? Did you make some friends, Nexa?" He shrugged. "They are fine. The older Khajiit died in the battle of Fanacas. He was resurrected as a lich. I haven't seen him since the battle. He left on some mission to go find his skin." He sighed as he rubbed the back of his head. "Jurard was actually in the battle and she's currently reporting to Hans, who is at Fort Grief. He's taken up the station as the war coordinator. He's sending seers go out and scan for the hidden ruins. According to Erandur, we're having this blind seer join our ranks soon. Some protégé girl. We're meeting up with her in Cheydinhal before we march into Elsweyr. We'll see just how good she is."

We were meeting up with another new person? I sighed as I looked at my squad. They were sitting down and relaxing now that our original mission had been completed. I looked over at Vatu and said, "Ok, so I've met your friends, so now…you're going to meet my squad. Which works out because my Shadowmaster wants to talk to you." I pulled him close. "You better be on your best behavior. They know what you are and they are not as nice as I am. If you act up, they will kill you."

I held Vatu close, searching his eyes. He looked a little stunned but nodded. "Ok, so you're telling me that your squad of Argonian assassins wants to kill me? Got it." He walked past me, starting to walk over to my squad. "Ok…let's get this over with."

I jogged to catch up with him, making sure that I could get in front of him in case anyone decided to juts kill him now, even though I had orders to keep him alive until the end of the war. My father felt it was necessary to keep a war machine alive when our world was outmatched and outnumbered. We would be destroyed without someone like Vatu fighting for us. The only bad thing about a war machine like Vatu is that when the war was over, he became a threat to our nation. My father was planning on taking over all of Tamriel once this war was finished and having Vatu become our enemy was enough of threat that he had to be killed immediately.

There was only one downside to trying to kill a war machine like Vatu. If you failed…you just made an enemy. Once my squad betrays Vatu and they try to kill him, every single one of them will be slain by him with little to no hesitation. Vatu already knows what to expect, so I doubt that he will be letting his guard down anytime soon. And since I'm a friend, he'd never try to kill me. I was safe, at least (not like I needed it, though). I know I still had one edge over Vatu: he'd hesitate in finishing me off. If I was worried that he would kill me, I wouldn't. I don't think it would ever come to that, though. No, he cared too deeply for me, even if he has fallen in love with the elf instead of me.

I forced Vatu to come to a stop as we approached the table. He looked confused for a second, but a nod from me with sharp eyes told him everything he needed to know. We will do this cautiously. We will start with just one person and get some questions answered now. They might bulrush you with their hatred of Khajiits if we just walk into their trap. They may look at ease, but I can taste their collective anger pouring through their scales. If we take this one step at a time, it will be easier. I know who we will start off with.

Vatu nodded his answer to me, telling me that he was ready for whatever was going to happen next. I could not help but feel in admiration over Vatu's ability to just accept everything as it was. Nothing seemed to faze him. I liked that about him. I wish more of my people could have been like that, but like I said earlier: we lived in the shadows. We could not risk lowering our guard for anyone.

I turned around and stepped just a little ahead of Vatu. I waved him to follow me and we slowly advanced to the table. The table quickly became silent, the shadowscales leaning back in their chairs, cautiously reaching for their forearm blades. They tried to look as relaxed as they could, but I knew what to look for. Their eyes were wide and alert, although they refused to make eye contact with either me or Vatu. I guess they thought that I was already betraying them, although it could have just been the fact that I was showing up with a known blood-rager.

As we came up to Nakuma, the first one I wished Vatu to meet, I nodded a welcome for her to come join us in a conversation. She looked around for a second; unsure whether she should leave the rest of the squad to come talk to me. But, I guess my stare won her over, because she excused herself and left the table to come walk up to me. I started stepping away with Nakuma, but as I turned my gaze away from the table, I caught one last glance at Shadowmaster Julanza. He looked at me and then, my eyes looked away.

As soon as I turned around, Julanza was right in front of me; his massive form only inches away. His eyes bore into mine. He nodded to me and then looked over to Vatu. He looked him over before nodding approvingly. "Greetings, young Khajiit. Am I correct in assuming that you are the blood-rager that we have heard so much about?" He looked over at for me for that confirmation.

I guess Vatu would not be so easily threatened or intimidated by Julanza, though. He merely nodded and said, "Yes, I'm a Sengar: a warrior of Alkosh." He smiled. "My eyes turn red, my fur stands on end, and I become so fast and strong that I was able to kill hundreds of Aedra in one sitting. I saved a lot of my friends by doing so." He finished by resting his hands behind his head, smiling at Julanza like he was talking to a friend.

Julanza didn't reply to Vatu, only looking at him for a few seconds. He looked over at me and said, "I presume Shadowscale Nexa has informed you that we are watching you, correct?"

Vatu faked looking confused. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that he was being genuine. "No? Why? What are you watching for?"

Julanza seemed to smile though his mask. I could see the amusement in his eyes. "You cannot lie to a master of Illusion magic, young Khajiit. No, I can see that you know that we are ordered to kill you later on." Julanza walked past Vatu and patted him on the shoulder. "Relax, though. That's not until later…after this war is over." He looked over at me and said, "And who knows…Warlord Zeelius might not even issue the order. A lot can happen that may change his mind."

Oh boy, I wish my father was that kind-hearted, but I knew such a thing was impossible for him. No, my father's hatred of Khajiits, especially blood-ragers, was so strong that he wouldn't ever pass up the opportunity to kill one if he had the chance.

Vatu smiled at Julanza and said, "I don't know why you're telling me that you're going to kill me. Don't you think that it would be a bad idea to tell someone that you're going to kill them? I mean, I am a apart of this unit, filled with skilled mages. Don't you think that if they found out that you're going to kill me, that they won't just kill you instead?"

Julanza smiled. "I heard enough of your conversation with Nexa to know one fact: Primrose. I can kill her with a blink of an eye…just enough time before any of your friends can commit any attack. Oh…and I'm stronger than any fighter here, even your precious Hans the Hardy." He turned around and started for the table to join the rest of the squad. "Think about it, cub. If I let you know now, it will give you a chance to make us like you. I do not wish to spread anymore blood than is necessary. I, for one, have never agreed with our blood feud, but I will kill you if my Warlord demands it. Besides, letting you know about our arrangement and what I know about your little elf friend…will ensure that when the deed needs to be done, that you will comply. Blackmail is insurance, my furry little friend."

I exhaled and grabbed my head in frustration. Why did Julanza have to do that? I guess he was just being as honest as he usually was. He thought that the best policy was to be blunt and unmovable. If he just said what needed to be said, then there were no problems. Honestly, letting Vatu know that we were planning on killing him really did make it easier on us. Now that Shadowmaster threw the elf, Primrose, into the whole murder thing, it would make Vatu very jumpy and probably compliant. I know that he cared enough for the elf that he would die for her. Heck, if Julanza put a knife to my throat, Vatu would probably die for me too. He'd pretty much die for anyone, I think. He's just that type of guy.

I brought my attention back to Nakuma, probably the only person in my squad that I trusted meeting Vatu. I nodded to her and said, "Right…now that we've gotten everything out in the open, I wish to bring Vatu into our squad so that…you all get to know him. I thought I'd start with you, Nakuma. You seem…gentle."

I looked over at Vatu and said, "Are you ok with answering any questions she has?"

Vatu shrugged. "Well…sure. I guess it won't matter since everyone's trying to kill me these days anyway."

I looked over at Nakuma, seeing her bright face flush as she tried not to laugh at Vatu's joke. She brushed her light link feathers away from her eyes and looked away. "Right…" She looked over at me and bowed. "Ma'am…do I really have to…converse with him?"

I sighed and looked away. "Not if you're not ok with it. Since we're tasked with protecting him until…well…we're told otherwise, I thought he'd just join our squad. He's a member of our team and just like everyone else, he's a part of our family."

Nakuma sighed some relief. "Thank you." She bowed to me and stepped away. "It's not that I don't like Khajiits…it's that I just don't like socializing."

As she walked away, I was forced to cross my arms and look over at Vatu. I nodded to him and said, "That went better than you could have hoped for."

Vatu was looking over at Shadowmaster Julanza, who was glaring right back. I could see Vatu's eyes straining on the verge of turning red. "That lizard just threatened my friend, Primrose…" I could see his fangs sharpen. "Does he want to find out just how deadly I really am?"

I casually stepped in front of Vatu and pulled him in for a tight hug. I held him close and put just enough pressure to make sure that he knew that I had a knife pressed against his spine. "Feel that, Vatu? That's friendship…a knife…in your back. This is as great a present as you're going to get from any Argonian in this squad. I'm the only one who cares about you…or anyone else in this company. If you allow your temper to take over you, you will prove Julanza that you are just a mindless beast. He wants you to show him that you won't get mad over threats. He wants you just show him that you're not just a killer. He wants you to show my father that you're a being…and not one that just kills things to get a result. If you accomplish the impossible, we might just make it out of here alive."

I pulled the knife away and released Vatu from my hug. "If you calm down, you won't have to worry about anyone getting hurt. And I promise, the moment that we're ordered to kill you…I'll let you know ahead of time."

Vatu seemed to scoff. "Gee, thanks. I feel so much better now."

I could only shrug in reply. Hey, I couldn't lie to him, not now.

Cearbhail: T_T ... I have no idea what to do now...