Both men settled themselves across from one another at the dining table of Arthur's chambers. Merlin tried very hard to sit back and relax his mind to properly command his magic. He couldn't keep his mind from racing the fact that Arthur was allowing, even asking him to perform magic. Even so, he was worried. He didn't want to shake the king's unsteady open mind and shatter the hope that was building in his own mind for the kingdom he dreamed of.
This could be problematic.
He opened his eyes to check on the knight opposite him. He sat patiently enough, allowing a small amount of worry and skepticism to show on his features. Merlin closed his eyes and spoke in the ancient tongue. Streic fy meddwl gyda fy nhroseddau gorffennol, felly canfyddiad yn cael ei rannu a barn efallai penderfynu.(1)
A small light of molten gold could be seen from under his lids, as he sat straight in his seat, his eyes beginning to roll as if he were in a deep sleep.
Arthur wasn't sure of what to expect as he sat and readied himself for any possibility. He barely noticed the glow under Merlin's closed eyes as he sat seemingly very focused.
A great round sphere appeared between them with strings of blue and gold at it's edge, not completely solid. He was thankful to have noticed the edge, unsure if he would have been able to distinguish between reality, and the familiar images that began to swirl inside the orb. He gazed into it, allowing it to lure him into events of the past, into his friend's memories. He could hear everything, every important conversation, starting from his first day in Camelot.
The first thing he saw was an execution, an angry woman crying out and disappearing into the wind. Gaius falling from a balcony where he could have seriously injured himself, then the man's descent to the floor slowed, and a bed was moved underneath him as the physician landed safely. The grieving woman posing as a noble and enchanting everyone to fall asleep, waking when a chandelier stopped her. He saw the gleam of a dagger aimed at a man standing next to the king, the then prince. The near death experience slowed as the prince was pulled from the weapon's path, the woman's appearance was her own again as she died.
Suddenly the scene changed and he saw himself climbing a wall almost completely shrouded in darkness, and out of harms way led by the light of a floating blue orb.
He remembered that. Had the warlock laid there dying and still tried to save the prince?
Merlin using a jeweled staff to destroy the Sidhes that were trying to open the gates of Avalon by using an enchanted prince as a sacrifice.
He watched Merlin glancing around the hopeless battle around him, and conjuring a wind storm to save his village. His friend from the village saving the prince from a dying man's arrow. The same man confessing to being a sorcerer, and dying not long after.
Merlin taking the Sidhe's staff to stop a small ambush from killing the king.
Searching out the Questing beast that bites the prince and Merlin journeying to the Isle of the Blessed, fighting and destroying Nimueh.
An slightly older Merlin saving him from an assassin in the midst of a jousting tournament by knocking the man off his horse.
Merlin using a mirror to see the Lady Catrina as a troll, being trapped in a stone prison, and being too late to stop the wedding of a king and a troll. The servant being knocked out by Catrina's servant and just making it in time to save the prince.
The servant making a cloud of smoke take the shape of a horse, the Witchfinder, Gaius nearly being executed, Merlin accusing the Witchfinder of being a fraud and saving Morgana by making a toad come out of his mouth when he is found guilty.
Arthur meeting his mother again, while Merlin appeared uncertain of the blonde witch.
Flashes of a dark haired girl in a tattered red dress and the Bastet.
King Alined's plan to make Arthur fall in love with his daughter and start a war.
The pince ordering Merlin to watch over the recently reclaimed Crystal of Neahtid, the servant dropping it as though it had burned him.
Merlin finding out the source of a sleeping enchantment over Camelot had to be destroyed to prepare for Morgause's onslaught. The source being Morgana, and Merlin conflicted on killing his friend, and decided to poison her.
The last dragon lord, talking to Merlin, smiling at him with unguarded affection, then the servant becoming quiet and distant.
Why was that important?
Then it stopped. He blinked, staring over to where the sphere had disappeared to see Merlin with a hand to his forehead.
He grunted. "Sorry, I-"
"Merlin?"
"Yeah, it's time for a break. Too much more and you could become ill." Merlin explained removing the hand from his head. He got up and limped over to the window without the aid of the walking sticks behind a genuinely surprised king.
Arthur turned in his seat to look over his shoulder. "Mer-?"
"Don't get up, not just yet."
Arthur couldn't help but wonder if that was for his safety or if the servant was attempting to hide something from him.
After a stretch of silence, the king let his curiosity get the better of him and stood to walk over to the window.
"Merlin? What is it? Should we stop for now-?"
"No. I just- are you hungry, sire?" He asked distractedly, turning and walking back to the small table by the door to fetch an apple from the bowl servants had left in case the knight should need it, and tossed it to the king. He then went over to pour some water from a large jug sitting by the fruit, and walk back over to the blonde, handing it to him.
"And why do I need this? Here." He said, offering the food and drink back to him.
"You need it to keep up your strength. As I said before, this is not your average spell."
Yielding just this once, the king took the sustenance.
Merlin was relieved, his pounding head was enough to contend with. He didn't want Arthur to see what he knew was a mask of pain. He needed to get through this.
Next, he watched, with some difficulty, his father being tortured by a magical root placed under his bed, after Morgana had in fact been brought back by the brink of death to strike the heart of Camelot.
Flashes of Merlin in a cave completely filled of crystals.
Merlin disrupting Morgause's spell in the Mercian king's throne room from the shadows without so much as raised a hand.
The gate keeper they passed on their journey to the Fisher King's Realm.
Merlin reaching out to a lost sorcerer in a tournament, trusting the man with his secret, a small flame dancing in the palm of his hand, later protecting the king from the same sorcerer.
Lancelot and Merlin, destroying the spell over Morgause's immortal army by spilling the blood filling the cup of life, and injuring the sorcereress.
Was he using his sword?
Merlin knocking Arthur out to sacrifice himself in the prince's place to heal the veil between the worlds, yelling in surprise and grief as Lancelot takes his place.
The aged sorcerer trying to help the prince regent save his father, then bewildered at the death of his father, the servant staying by the prince's side as he grieved.
Why didn't he run?
Merlin fighting a man they once chased when an artifact was stolen from the vaults, knocking the man out in a large room and gently extended his reach to..
Was that an egg?
Genog.(2)
Merlin kidnapped, tortured, and possessed by a creature under the influence of Morgana.
Morgana in a cave magically holding a knife to Merlin's throat, as a man in dark robes betrayed her to save the servant, swearing his allegiance.
Lancelot returned, Merlin discovering he was no longer the man he knew, the knight waking to thank him before his barrial.
Alynian!(3)
The servant across from him gasped as the sphere dissipated once again, covering the already injured man in a light sheen of sweat.
"Merlin!" Arthur yelled, leaping out of his chair to help the sorcerer.
"No!" Merlin rasped as the king reached his side. Then he realized why, he instantly felt dizzy and grasped for something to steady him while his balance returned.
When everything came back into focus, the king found he had fallen to his knees. He immediately looked up to the chair in front of him only to see it was without an occupant.
Where did he?...
Just on the other side of the chair by the hearth, Merlin was crouched over on all fours, shaking and gasping for breath. Arthur cursed.
He clambered over to him, attempting to see his face, but his head was bent inwards towards his trembling form.
"Look at me." He ordered.
"I-I may have, failed to understand, exactly what that spell was used for." He panted, moving his head up to force a smile and reassure the king.
He was deathly pale.
"Idiot! What exactly, were the repercussions for using that?"
"I'm finding that out right now."
Arthur sighed. Why would he never just give him a straight answer? He picked himself off the floor and offered the servant a hand.
"Come on then. You need to see Gaius."
Merlin didn't, or rather couldn't respond. His head was threatening to spilt open, sounds were like screams to his senses. He was trying to calm himself, taking deep breaths to appease his raging nausea.
"Yeah, just, give me a moment." He responded as soon as he felt able.
That was enough of a warning bell to Arthur. Merlin was a stubborn fool and always tried to lessen the severity of what ever injury he may have sustained, to plow through for the rest of their safety. Just what had he done?
The king became irritated with him, and decidedly walked a clearly ill Merlin back to the physician's chambers.
Gaius was making his potions at his study table when they walked in, the door banging open. The physician looked up, greeted by the sight of an annoyed king with his very pale servant in tow.
"Merlin! Where happened? Come sit down, you look as though someone's died!" he scolded as Merlin walked resentfully over to the patient's bed, but he did not stop there. He laid his walking sticks on the bed and continued over to an empty bucket meant for cleaning, bent over on the ground, and vomited.
Both men had watched him curiously, until he became sick; that had them running. The physician and the king where on either side of the warlock staring in concern. Gaius looked over to his king inquisitively.
"What happened?" He asked the room at large.
Merlin's head felt like a combination of someone forcing it between two walls closing in on him and being shocked with small bolts of lightening.
"He-used some kind of spell." Arthur explained of what little he knew.
"What kind of spell?" Gaius frowned, trying to work out an answer.
"My head." Merlin groaned from between the two of them.
"Help me get him over to the bed." The physician instructed.
Together, Gaius and Arthur shouldered the weight of the ill man between them over the short distance to the waiting cot.
Merlin collapsed on to the patient's bed as his pain reached a peak, and passed out.
Gaius rushed back over to his work bench searching for something.
"Can you describe the magic used, sire?" he swiftly asked.
Arthur looked over to the physician, bewildered. "He-uh, said he had reworked it in a way so I could see what he's seen. We had to stop every now and again because he did not want me to become disoriented."
The physician paused in stunned horror a particular spell in a page of one of the lesser used books that read, daro ei feddwl gyda'i troseddau yn y gorffennol felly cydbwyso adfer efallai.(4) "Could he have-?"
"I will modify the spell a bit from one sorcerers used a time ago so it won't hurt you. It was used for criminals only, but it could drive the person who saw it mad."
Arthur suddenly felt a little sick himself. "He said it could-"
"Drive you mad?" Gaius finished for him and sighed, turning from his piles of books to face his king.
"Do you know what it was then?"
"It was a spell used long ago to torture it's victims into madness by having them watch, feeling the pain of everyone they had killed, die. It's said the screams from the victim alone would have been enough to drive any sane, rational thought from another's mind."
"Idiot! He said it would be fine! Not push him to the brink of sanity!" The king raged.
"He altered it so you wouldn't feel anything, sire. He must have made it so the pain would only focus on him in your stead." Gaius calmly reiterated.
Arthur dropped his gaze, staring angrily at the floor.
"Judging by how he was acting, I don't think he'll lose himself. He was lucky to stop the spell when he did." Gaius concluded. Normally, he would have laughed at the idea that Merlin would lose his mind, but with what he had faced recently.. The physician knew his ward was strong, but at the moment, his will wasn't.
It was late morning when Merlin was lucid again. Looking around he noticed he was in the patient's cot in the physician's chambers. With an annoyed groan upon realizing this, he put his hands over his eyes, temporarily blocking the rays of the sun streaming through the window. After reworking it, he really thought that he would he be alright using that spell. Obviously not.
"Merlin? Are you alright?"
He uncovered his face immediately to see two pairs of brown eyes on either side of him watching worriedly.
"Gwen? Gwaine? What are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, mate. Gwen wanted to check on you again, and she needed a guard." Gwaine smiled easily, looking relieved.
"Don't lie, Gwaine. You wanted to get out of training as well." The queen smiled.
"Again? How long have I been out?" Merlin exclaimed, sitting up and putting a hand to his head.
"About a day and a half. That was a really unwise risk you took my friend." The knight stated sitting back in his seat and studying the warlock.
"That long? How's Arthur been?" Merlin asked, preparing to stand and attend to his duties.
"Easy! Her ladyship is showing off her skills as we speak." Explained the knight, Gwen putting a halting hand to the servant's shoulder.
"Why? Is something wrong?" asked the queen.
"I don't know. The technique I used wasn't a simple or flawless one. He hasn't been unwell or felt odd?"
"Not at all." Gwen said, surprised.
"It looks like you took on the brunt of what ever he might have felt. Not that anything's changed there." Answered Gwaine, rolling his eyes.
Merlin paused after smiling at Gwen reassuring her he was fine and swinging his legs over the other side of the cot. He frowned, testing his left leg a bit. It felt fine, his shoulder was much better by now, and his foot was healing nicely. He stood to his feet and tried to walk normally to the table. Impressed with the progress, he nodded to himself, striding over to the door and shrugging on his usual jacket, rolling his shoulders a bit to ease the stiff muscles, while the knight and queen watched him questioningly.
"Where do you think you're going?" Asked Gwaine, nodding his head Merlin, his easy smile gone.
Oh, right. He was still under guard. How many times would he have to save the kingdom and it's rulers before they realized he wasn't a danger?
He sighed, and turned to regard his friends. "I need to see for myself. Not to mention I feel like I'm going mad in here." he said indicating the room.
Evidently it was too soon for jokes.
"Merlin, Gaius told us about the spell. You could have really lost yourself! What were you thinking? Overestimating yourself like that?" Gwaine asked, a bit annoyed.
That had stung. He had been worried about using his magic despite what had happened to him physically, but he had felt better that day, and wanted Arthur to finally understand. He had always been the one underestimating himself and what he could do, time and time again proving he could handle himself. He was supposed to be Emrys, so why couldn't he control the spell? What was wrong with him? He stiffened.
"Overestimating myself?"
"Yes, you haven't been yourself in over a month. So why did you think doing complicated, risky magic was the next thing you should attempt?" Gwaine repeated, standing to face his friend, arms crossing in front of him.
"Alright! I get it! It was very unwise. Now, will you let me make sure our king is unscathed?" he asked, his frustration building.
Gwaine sighed, relaxing his posture. "Well considering your current situation, you'll need someone important to escort you. Luckily I know of such a person." He said, smiling.
"And I think Gwaine should accompany us as well." Smiled Gwen.
"Hey!" Gwaine exclaimed indigently. Merlin smiled, and the queen stifled a laugh. "If we're going out, I'm going to have to make you wear these, have to keep up appearances don't we?"
Hey everyone! I realize a lot of things in the memory portion were skipped over. Don't worry, there's a reason! I had fun creating the sphere to see memories, that way it didn't seem to intrusive to Arthur. No, Arthur still hasn't made a decision about Merlin or magic but the decision maybe taken out of his hands soon.. Don't want to give anything anyway!
Thank you so much for reviewing, favoriting, and following! It means a lot!
~Spells~
Both these spells were translated using a welsh translator seeing as I looked long and hard and couldn't find a longer translator for old english/anglo-saxon or old german translator online.
(1)-Streic fy meddwl gyda fy nhroseddau gorffennol, felly canfyddiad yn cael ei rannu a barn efallai penderfynu-translating to, Strike my mind with my past transgressions so perception is shared and judgement maybe decided.
(4)-daro ei feddwl gyda'i troseddau yn y gorffennol felly cydbwyso adfer efallai translating to, strike his mind with his past transgressions so balance maybe restored.
used an english to welsh translator found on google, should be the third link down.
I found a online translator for words, but I chose not to use it on the bigger spells because I don't know the right grammar for it and it would inevitably drive me crazy.
(2)Genog-meaning enough
(3)Alynian-meaning to release, cease or stop
used an old english translator found on google, should be the first link.
I also used some of the synopsis's on the Merlin Wikia to help me remember some of the earlier episodes I have watched in a while.