Against The World
"Asking about my origins gave me my first glimpse of the darkness that plagued this world."
-x-
"Who is my father?" I asked my mother as I helped her peel vegetables for supper. She froze for a moment, then sighed.
"You don't have one, dear." She said, an odd lilt to her voice.
"But you didn't just get pregnant by yourself." I argued.
Mother set down her knife and took a deep breath. "As far as I can tell, I did."
I stared at my mother. "What?" I eventually managed.
Am I like, some sort of Jesus baby? Or Anakin Skywalker?
"Let's sit down for this." she suggested quietly. I nodded and followed her over to the couch on the other side of the room.
We sat in silence for what seemed like hours, but could have been only a few seconds. Finally, my mother spoke.
"I'm not sure what happened, Sekai. I never—I don't recall your... conception. Or even that something like that even occurred. It's... at first I... I had no idea I was pregnant. But then it became obvious and I had no idea how or when it happened." she explained in a hushed voice. "I'll never be able to say for sure, but Hanako-san thinks that maybe... Well, I'm a civilian working for a clan that includes ninja, even if my direct employers weren't. Ninja can cast illusions. Make you see or hear things that aren't real. Or make you ignore things that are real... So I just... I really don't know, Sekai."
"Okay. I don't need a father, anyways." I said, understanding the implications of her words.
The most likely scenario is that my mother was raped by a ninja from the Tominaga clan, who used genjutsu to keep her from realizing it was even happening.
I finished helping mother prepare dinner in silence.
-x-
One
It took me one week to realize just how horrible life was in the orphanage. In that time, my few possessions—mostly clothes, Hanako insisted on holding onto anything of sentimental value—had been redistributed to "others who needed them more." That was the theme here in the orphanage. The portions I received at meals were smaller. My were clothes of poorer quality and worn out. Little time was spent on my education. Showers were always cold. And I wasn't the only one. About half of the children here are in the same boat as me.
It didn't take me long to understand why this was happening.
When the orphanage took me in, they asked me a series of questions. One of them was if I wished to join the academy and train to become a ninja. I said no.
At first, I decided the trade off wasn't worth it. More food and better clothes didn't seem like good enough reason to become cannon fodder in the war.
But it wore on me. They fed me enough to get by, but I was never full. The chill from the cold showers lingered long after I'd stepped out.
The feeling of never being full became the feeling of always being hungry. It was no longer a lingering chill from frigid showers, but a constant one. I was never warm.
Then there was the boredom. Once I proved I had mastered reading and writing to an acceptable level, they declared me finished with my required education, despite being all of five years old.
I had nothing to do. I wasn't allowed to leave without an escort, so I couldn't visit Hanako. There was nothing to pass my time with—the few books I had access to were extremely basic and held nothing of value. The other children played with each other, but I had no interest in joining them, and they had no interest in inviting me.
I was the creepy kid of the orphanage. This body I was reborn in was inexpressive. Where in The Before I would laugh out loud at some of the jokes I made to myself, here my face barely smiled. When mother died, it hurt so much. But I couldn't cry. It was like this body didn't respond to my emotions the same way.
Isolation. Hunger. Cold. Each is bad enough alone, but together, it was horrible. It wasn't long before I could no longer sleep.
Sleep was the last straw. Without it, I could feel my mental health decline, my thoughts turned intrusive.
The thought at the forefront of my mind, though, was of what happened to mother. It could happen to me, too, and I would never know.
After six months in the orphanage, I asked to start at the ninja academy.
-x-
"Hoshino Sekai."
Startled, my head jerked in the direction my name came from, and my gaze landed on the medic across the waiting room.
I slid off of the hard, plastic chair and walked over to him. He nodded, and motioned for me to follow him.
The path we took was hard to follow. For a hospital, the layout of the building was confusing and seemed impractical. Finally, he ushered me into room 503. The number seemed to be arbitrary. The room next to it bore the number 1156. We were on the second floor.
He set a folder on the desk, and placed some sort of marker on the door. "Alright, kid. Tsunade-sama will be with you shortly for your physical." The medic said, then stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. Or maybe he wasn't a medic, if he wasn't the one seeing to me?
It didn't matter.
It was my first time seeing a doctor of some sort in this life. Would it be similar to a doctor visit in The Before? Would it be drastically different?
Judging by the room, I figured it would be similar, to some extent. There was an examination table in the corner of the room, two hard, plastic chairs for patients, and a plush one near the desk for the medic. The walls were bare of the posters about STIs or heart disease I was used to seeing in The Before. There was also some equipment I had never seen before, but couldn't really describe. From the chairs to the walls and floor, the colour scheme of the room was, of course, a cold, institutional white.
Without warning, the door slammed open, and a grumpy looking blonde woman strode in.
"Alright kid. Let's get this started." She grumbled and plopped down on the plush chair. She grabbed the file on the desk and flipped it open. "First some questions... You know, age, birthday, medical history, blah, blah, blah... you know the drill." she paused. "Well kid? Don't waste my time, answer the question!"
My lips thinned briefly. How was I to know she wanted me to answer right away? The way she phrased things didn't seem like a fucking question.
"My birthday is December 31st. I am five years old."
"That doesn't tell me your medical history, kid."
It was clear from her tone that she was annoyed with being here. What a rude, impatient woman. Who the hell made her a medic?
"I have none, ma'am. This is the first time I've been seen by a medical professional."
"Che." she muttered, and through the file down. "Course it is. Explains why the file is bloody useless. Those admin fuckers probably threw it together all of ten minutes ago."
"Twenty." I mumbled before I could stop myself. "The file has been in the room as long as I have, which is about twenty minutes.
"Whatever, kid. Hop up on the examination table. Might as well get started properly."
"You really don't want to be here." I stated blandly, my gaze focused on the grouchy woman.
"No, I don't. Say 'ah,' kid." she agreed, and pulled my mouth open. She peered down my throat. "Pre-Acadamy physicals are a waste of my skills and time. Don't know what Dan was thinking..."
The medic poked and prodded me for what felt like ages. I was measured and weighed, blood was drawn and sent down to the lab, vaccinations were injected, and she practically molested me with green chakra. And then she held out a blank piece of paper to me.
"Well? Take it!" she ordered when I made no move to reach for it.
'My mother always taught me not to take things from strangers.' I didn't reply, though I was tempted. Instead I did as she told me. The paper was thick, but smooth, and upon further examination I noticed faint scribbles of some sort decorating the back.
"Chanel your chakra into the paper." She instructed.
I stared at her, unimpressed. I'm five god damn fucking years old. My mom is—was a civilian. I have no fucking clue how to do that. Who does she think I am? Who does she think she is?
"Jeez kid! Just do it!" She growls at me through clenched teeth, her left eye twitching. "...Fucking kid... Face is blanker than the walls..."
The last part was practically a whisper. I doubt she meant for me to hear it. My lips thinned.
"How?"
The medic grabbed my hands, and I'm not sure what it was she did, but it felt fucking weird. Like she was pulling on something inside me, something I'd previously been unaware of.
"You feel that?" I nodded, and she dropped my hands, the pulling sensation coming to a sudden halt, but I still felt whatever it was she had been pulling at. "Good. Now, try to focus on where you felt it, and try to recreate the feeling by yourself."
Her instructions were vague, but I tried to follow them nonetheless. To my surprise, I was able to do so with minimal difficulty.
"Now release it from your hands while holding the paper. And keep holding the paper until I say so."
Again, vague. But now that I'd become aware of this thing inside me—chakra, I suppose is what it must be—it was like a limb, almost. My brain told it what to do, and my chakra did it.
Strange symbols lit up on the top of the paper—I think they matched the "scribbles" I'd noticed on the back.
The medic studied the symbols, like they made complete sense. Well, I guess they did to her. But to me it looked like nonsense.
After a moment her eyebrows shot up and she let out a low whistle. "I'll be damned, kid. That is some seriously skewed chakra... Where's your guardian? The blood work should be done soon and I need to go over the results of your physical with them."
"...I'm an orphan. I don't know who my legal guardian is, exactly. Someone from the orphanage, I assume." Some guardian that is though. In The Before they would have been arrested for child neglect, if not child abuse.
"Right. In that case I'll go over things with you. Wait here while I go check on your blood work. It's been nearly an hour, even the idiots in the lab should have it done by now..."
I sat in silence, still holding the paper.
It took her nearly twenty minutes to return, and when she did it was with a scowl on her face and papers in hands. "Morons," she muttered to herself. "Complete morons. Incompetent morons. Can't do their bloody jobs in a reasonable time frame... I shouldn't have to finish their job for them..."
She slapped the papers down on the desk and dropped herself onto the chair. "Alright. Mostly good news, kid. You are an acceptable height and weight for your age. A bit short, but that's probably just genetics. Your heart and lungs are in good shape, so are your chakra pathways. Physically, you are more than fit to be a ninja, though in the future I suggest incorporating more meat into your diet—your iron levels are a little low for a ninja, but it's a minor thing.
"Your chakra is ridiculously skewed though kid. I've never seen it so bad." She shook her head in amazement.
"What does that mean?"
"The paper you channelled your chakra into is a diagnostic seal, of sorts. It's purpose is to measure the density of your chakra, its elemental affinity, and the ratio of physical to spiritual energies. When I say your chakra is skewed, I mean your spiritual energy dwarfs your physical energy. I've never seen such a major imbalance in all my years."
Can't be that many years. She doesn't look a day over twenty five. "What does that mean for me? Am I unable to attend the academy?"
"What does it mean? That's a complicated question, and I doubt you'd understand the details and technicalities at this point." My eyes narrowed at her words. I wouldn't understand? How fucking insulting. I'm not a fucking moron. "But you're more than able to attend the academy. To be honest, you'll probably do well there."
"Please attempt to explain it to me. I'm more intelligent than you think."
The medic crossed her arms and after a moment's pause, she nodded. "Alright kid. Your spiritual imbalance certainly backs you up there. Here's the deal. Few people have completely balanced chakra. Perfectly balanced would be fifty, fifty. But generally, people fall in the range of thirty five, sixty five or closer, favouring either type of energy over the other. Your ratio is seven physical, ninety three spiritual."
Holy fucking shit.
"Generally speaking, certain jutsu require more physical energy or spiritual energy. The thing is, you can't separate your chakra into one or the other. So if a ninja with the chakra ratio sixty physical, forty spiritual used a jutsu that had a heavy physical energy cost, it would cost him less chakra than someone with a sixty spiritual, forty physical ratio." As she spoke, her tone of voice lost the edge it'd had throughout most of the appointment. Probably because she was actually interested in what she was talking about. "Do you follow, kid?"
"I will have trouble with jutsu that have a heavy physical energy requirement. But jutsu that are powered primarily by spiritual chakra will take very little. Am I correct?"
"Yeah," she grinned. It almost looked proud. "Pretty much. Fortunately, your chakra is very dense, so it's likely you'll have decent reserves."
"Is there anything I can do to reduce the skew of my chakra?"
"Good Question." She nodded in approval. "Your chakra will always been heavily skewed, but large amounts of vigorous physical activity can shorten the gap. At best though, I'd say you could maybe reach a twenty, eighty ratio, but it's unlikely you'll manage that. Physical activity increases physical energy. Mental activity increases spiritual energy. I doubt you can keep yourself from intellectually engaging tasks for the rest of your life, which is what you would need to do to achieve twenty, eighty."
"But physical activity will help?" I repeat for clarification.
"Yes. I suggest that say, if you need to study for a test, you keep your body active in some manner while doing so."
"I see. Thank you for your time and advice, ma'am."
-x-
The day after my pre-academy physical, one of the caretakers at the orphanage woke me up at the crack of dawn, and escorted me to the academy.
He took me to the administration office, informed them why I was there, and then walked out without so much as a goodbye, leaving me standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"Take a seat, Hoshino-chan." the blond man sitting at the front desk suggested. He had a gentle face. My initial thought was that he was a secretary of sorts, but the forehead protector around his neck indicated his status as a ninja. Maybe a secretary ninja? Ninja secretary? I had no idea how this sort of thing worked. "Isamu-sensei will be with you shortly. You're a bit early."
Hesitantly, I took a seat near the entrance, hoping I wouldn't have to spend as much time waiting as I did at the hospital. My hands tightly grasped my knees, but otherwise I gave no outward signs of my anxiety.
Awhile later, a boyish looking man with long, light blue hair strode into the office. "You Hoshino Sekai?" I nodded, and he continued, "Come with me. I'm in charge of your assessment, today. You can call me Isamu-sensei."
He led me out of the office and up to a tiny room furnished with a single wooden desk and chair. Sitting on the desk was a thick paper booklet and a single pencil.
"Sit." he ordered, and I obeyed without question. "The first part of your assessment for early admission is theoretical. The test in front of you is comprehensive of the academy's four year curriculum. In addition, it also tests critical thinking skills and problem solving. Answer as many questions as you can. You will not leave this room until I come to retrieve you when your time is up. You may start as soon as I leave the room. You may ask no further questions. Am I understood?"
"Yes, Isamu-sensei." And with that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
I took a deep breath, and processed everything I just heard.
I was entering the academy early. From the way things were at the orphanage, I had assumed that wasn't the case. But that wasn't what was important right now. I had an exam to write, and no idea how long I had to finish.
I picked up the pencil and wrote my name where indicated, and decided to look over the entire test before starting. The first few pages tested basic reading, writing, and math—all things I was already well beyond. After that there were questions about chakra and the rules of ninja. A few of the questions on chakra I thought I could answer thanks to my discussion with the medic the day before, but I had no idea what any of the ninja rules were. Then came geography and history, which I knew a bit of. It seemed to focus on Fire Country, at least. I saw some more advanced math—though far from at the level I'd studied it in The Before, perhaps twelfth grade level—as I flipped through, and a bit of first aid. Logic puzzles popped up every few pages, as did decoding messages, and there was a section on human anatomy. The last section seemed to be several "What would you do in this scenario?" questions.
I decided to do the reading, writing and math sections first. I remembered much more advanced math from my previous life, and Hanako had tutored me in reading and writing, which I had picked up quickly. I sped through them with little thought, barely even processing them, and completely skipped the section on ninja rules.
Next I did the logic puzzles—they were simple enough, but I suppose considering this test is meant for children, I shouldn't expect much.
I decided to try the first aid section next. I was able to answer a handful of the questions, but most were beyond the little first aid I could recall, and some were completely baffling. What is chakra poisoning and how does it affect treating a stab wound? Fuck if I know.
I flipped to geography and history.
Name the current and former Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village, in order.That was easy enough—I saw their faces on the mountain everyday. I scribbled my answer, Senju Hashirama, Senju Tobirama, Sarutobi Hiruzen, Kato Dan.
The alliance of which clans provided the foundation for the formation of the Hidden Leaf Village?
The alliance of the Senju and Uchiha.
List the five great nations and their respective hidden villages.
Fire Country and Hidden Leaf. I wrote, and paused to think, tapping my pencil against my bottom lip. I hadn't been taught a lot about the other countries, and while I'd heard some things in passing, it was mostly going to be a matter of guessing. The other four great nations were... Earth, Wind, Water, and Lightning, I thought. The names of the five chakra natures. I quickly wrote them down. The hidden villages... was trickier. I remembered there was Mist, Cloud, and Sand, but couldn't remember the last one, or which went what country, so I did my best to guess. Mist seemed very water-like, so I pencilled it in next to Water Country. Clouds and lightning seemed to go together as well, so I put those together as well. As for Sand... Sand was like, earth-y, so I put it with Earth Country. I figure I had a fifty-fifty chance with that one.
From there, the questions got a bit more difficult. I had no idea which battle was a major turning point in the second war. I didn't even know which battles happened. Who were our allies in the third war? No idea, I don't even remember the names of the villages, but not Earth country—I remember hearing about how one of our ninja was famous for killing a lot of the ninja over there.
After the list of questions, there was a blank map of fire country, and I was supposed to draw in the major towns and other landmarks from a list. The location of the capital, Hidden Leaf, and the rivers nearby it were no trouble, but most of the rest was guesswork, though.
Finally, I moved onto the questions about chakra. Thanks to my conversation with the medic, I knew that chakra is formed by the mixture of physical and spiritual energy, and had learned of the five main chakra natures, but soon what little I knew became unhelpful, so I had to skip most of the questions, and moved onto anatomy.
Anatomy had a diagram of the body that I was supposed to label with major weak points, and then there were questions about where to hit someone, depending on if you wanted to disable them or kill them. Some of these were obvious, but a lot of it was beyond me.
I decided to go for the scenario questions next.
You are being pursued in enemy territory by a pair of jounin. Of your two chuunin teammates, one of them is injured, and unable to move without assistance. As the team leader, describe how you would proceed.
Well, that wasn't exactly straightforward. There were so many variables... Like, how far away were we from our village? What sort of terrain? Would the injured teammate survive long enough to get to a medic? Did we have sufficient supplies of food and water? If the village was too far away, we might not be able to get the injured teammate to a medic in time, in that case the best decision might be to mercy kill them to increase our travel speed and prevent them from falling into enemy hands. But if the village is close enough, they had a chance and shouldn't be abandoned. The terrain and severity of the injury would impact the decision of whether or not to flee or hide. I had no idea. There were too many unknowns. Finally, I decided to just write out a list of unknown factors that would impact the decision, and how.
The rest of the scenario questions were frustratingly similar in their lack of details, and I muddled through them as best I could.
Finally, I started on the decoding questions.
The following message from the south River County border outpost regarding activity of ninja from Hidden Valley is written in Simplified Leaf Standard Four. Decode it.
Well. I had no idea what Leaf Standard Four was, simplified or not, but this is why I saved these types of questions for last—I'd try to decode it on my own, which would be time consuming.
"Best get started then..." I muttered to myself.
The message took up about half a page, which was actually a good thing. It meant I had more of a sample to find a pattern. I also had some context. I stuck my pencil in my mouth and cracked my knuckles. This would take awhile.
-x-
Hidden above, Hara Isamu watched the purple haired child leaf through the test booklet.
She was a strange child, he concluded, and it wasn't just her appearance, though that as a bit strange too. Her purple hair was long, straight, and flat. Several strands fell into her overly pale face and clashing with her yellow eyes, but if it bothered her, she didn't show it. She didn't show much of anything, even as she started scribbling her answers to the math questions.
He watched her and her answers carefully. She wrote quickly, he noted, not even stopping to think as she answered even the advanced math problems that were actually beyond the Academy's curriculum, and her answers were correct.
Isamu crossed his arms and smirked. He supposed he wasn't terribly surprised. He had read Tsunade-sama's medical assessment, which had detailed her vast amounts of spiritual energy, indicating high intelligence.
She proceeded through the reading and writing assessment and logic puzzles with equal speed, and her answers were once again correct, but she slowed down after that.
Isamu wasn't surprised that she completely skipped the ninja rules, she was a civilian orphan, but he had to suppress a snort when she muttered "fuck ninja rules" in the blandest of tones. He wasn't sure if she even realized she'd spoken.
It was interesting to watch her flip back and forth from one topic to the next. Most children her age without any formal education and exam-taking experience would do things in order, and only skip things if they were completely stuck.
When she answered the chakra theory questions, he noticed the questions she answered covered information discussed in her medical files, indicating she had likely only picked up what she knew from her appointment the day before. He was impressed—she wasn't just regurgitating the information, but also applying it to concepts she hadn't seen before.
He was further impressed with her answers to the scenario questions—other early entrants tended to realize they lacked information, but few of them actually gave detailed explanations of how specific information might impact their decision, and even fewer had the mentality to suggest mercy killing their comrade, even when it was the best option.
But what really surprised Isamu was when she got to work on decoding. He knew she as unfamiliar with the ciphers needed to decode the messages, and had been prepared to make his presence known a bit after she finished the scenario questions, assuming she had skipped those questions as she did the rules, but ultimately decided to see what she managed.
It took her awhile, but after nearly an hour she had managed to decode the first message with surprising accuracy. It wasn't perfect, and the message would have been easy for any experienced ninja, from Leaf or not, to decode, but for a five year old? It was pretty damn impressive.
He let her start on the next one, but appeared before she finished—he'd already seen what he needed to.
"Time's up, kid."
-x-
Notes: Yeah so. Minato isn't the fourth Hokage, Dan is, and Tsunade's still in the village because clearly Dan didn't die. Not much is known about Dan in canon, and while he was portrayed as a really nice/good/moral guy, we're supposed to think the same of the third Hokage and look at the fucked up shit he let happen.
I have done a lot of world building in my notes, filling in canon plot holes, naming things that are canonically unnamed, etc. I intend to share many of these things on a tumblr created specifically for my fic, the url is sekai-against-the-world. It is currently password protected while it is under construction.
This is a WIP. I can't promise that the format won't change as I write this. Once finished I'll probably go back and edit everything to be more consistent. I do not have a beta, and will not be looking for one. What you see is what you get. I am a student, so I am busy with my studies and can't guarantee frequent updates.
All my love,
The Mathemagician