Chapter 5: Wanted

Natasha woke with a start in a pristine white bed. Her hand immediately went to her chest, but found no hole there. She took off the covers and found herself in white pants and a white tank top. Not the suit she was wearing when she fought Anya, unlike any clothes that she had ever owned. She swung her legs out and placed her feet on the wood floor. She looked up and gasped at the view out on the balcony. The she realized where she was.

It was in a beautiful mountain house in Russia. There was no snow, no cold, nothing but a perfect view of the countryside in front of Natasha as she stood on the balcony looking out. And in that moment, she didn't think about the battle or the Avengers. Not Anya, Steve, SHIELD, or the bullet that went into her heart. The only thing she was thinking about was how beautiful it was here.

"You've returned to me Natalia," a man's voice said beside her.

Natasha turned to see Alexi, her dead husband, standing in the bedroom. She had been forced to marry Alexi a little after her work with the Winter Soldier, and while she wasn't keen on it at first, it was vital to the Red Room. While at first she was hesitant, she soon grew to care for the man, and he her. Until the Red Room took him away from her to inject him with a serum that was more potent than the one her and Barnes were given. It was the Russian's final attempt at the original Erskine formula. But, it didn't produce yet again. The serum tore Alexi apart, killing him. Now he was here, right in front of her.

"Alexi," Natasha said, astonished. "How is this possible."

"I was waiting for you Natalia," he said. "Now that you've come to me, we can move on together."

At that moment, it seemed like the best plan in the world. She would be at peace, she had wiped out a lot of red. Finally put down the last remnants of the Red Room, helped the Avengers expose Hydra, and rescued Clint.

Clint. The thought of his name brought her back to reality. More images flashed through her mind. Fury, Coulson, Laura, Lila, Cooper, and Steve. Steve, the man that she had professed her feelings to as she was bleeding out in his arms. Did she have a chance? Did she deserve a chance? She wasn't sure of either, but it was intoxicating and she needed to know. Natasha stopped and looked at him.

"I can't," Natasha said. "I want to, but also I don't. I'm not done yet, and great things are about to happen. You need to go on without me."

Alexi just nodded and the world seemed to distort around Natasha. Alexi disappeared as everything went black.

Manhattan, New York
September 19th, 2013

Natasha felt herself come back into consciousness after that. There was still a dull pain in her chest, but she felt herself sitting in a bed. Since the last thing she remembered was being in Steve's arms in Mexico City, she figured she wasn't there anymore. Though she wasn't sure where she was. She heard murmuring voices in the background and blinked her eyes open. She could see three people, Banner, Terra, and Steve in the room with her. That's when she felt the weight on her hand. She looked over and Steve was holding it. She smiled to herself, maybe she had a chance after all.

They didn't notice her wake, they were all pretty focused on Banner, who was looking over her chart. He had a frown on his face, which told her that it had been a tough recovery. "Well, on paper, it doesn't look too good," she heard Banner say. "But in real life? I think we all know Natasha's gonna pull through."

Now was as good as time as any to make her presence known. "Of course I'm going to pull through," Natasha said weakly, her throat dry from the lack of fluids for a long time and her entire body aching. "Why make things easy?" She felt Steve's grip tighten as she spoke and turn towards her. She smiled at him, and his surprised face. "Hey soldier," Natasha greeted. "Why so serious?"

Steve let out a relieved breath and smiled back at her. "No reason," he replied, giving her hand a very gentle squeeze. "Not anymore, anyway. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a train," Natasha said, trying her best to squeeze his hand back. "How long have I been out? And where am I?"

"You've been out a week in a coma," Bruce said, filling in the gaps for her. "When you were hit, the bullet fractured into four pieces, a few lodging themselves in your heart. It was a rough surgery, you flatlined twice. But, you got through it. You're here at Avengers tower now, recovering."

Natasha took that all in and knew that the serum that she was injected with at the Red Room that sterilized her and enhanced her abilities and healing had saved her life. She would never escape the Red Room if she kept doing things like this. "What happened to the rest of the Red Room," Natasha said. "And Hydra?" She coughed after that, her throat was just too dry. Steve got her a glass of water that was by her bedside and helped her take a drink of it.

"Long gone," Clint said, walking into the room and holding a bottle of vodka with a ribbon on it, the strong Russian kind, meant as a gift. "After you killed Anya and Steve wrecked shop with the other agents, we didn't see any more presence of the Red Room. Then the rest of us took down the Hydra base as quick as possible while Bruce stabilized you. You bled all over Stark's jet by the way."

"He'll get over it," Natasha said, finishing up her drink and smiling a thanks at Steve.

"If you weren't so damn selfless he wouldn't have to worry about it," Clint said, setting the bottle on the side table and reached his hand to hold Natasha's other hand, squeezing it in reassurance.

"Fuck you," Natasha said dryly, squeezing his arm as well. The two were close and showed their emotions in, some would say unorthodox, ways to each other. Clint knew Natasha was terrified when she got shot, and Natasha knew Clint was terrified when he thought she wouldn't wake up. This was their way of comforting each other.

"The doctor says you should be in recovery for about a month," Bruce said, making sure he did the good doctor thing. "Two weeks minimum."

"You'll be up and at 'em before you know it," Steve assured, smiling and leaning back in his chair. It was comforting to have him there, and she knew that he was trying to help her out and make her feel better. She wanted to get him alone and ask him about her question, but she wasn't about to kick everyone out.

"She'll break out way before then," Clint said with a smirk, almost reading her thoughts and heading out. "Come on guys, let's give these two some space." Terra smiled as well, obviously sniffing it out as well. Bruce followed and soon she and Steve were alone.

She turned to look at him, shifting a bit but not feeling a whole bunch of pain. She smiled at him and said the only thing that could come to her mind at this moment. "Hey."

He smiled and scooted his chair closer to her bedside, leaning forward again so he could clasp her hand in both of his. "Hey," he parroted. "So... dinner plans may need to wait until you can at least move around," he said. "But until then, maybe we can have a night in? Order Chinese take-out and watch a movie or something."

So he said yes, he actually wanted to go out with her. She couldn't help the smile that washed over her face and she saw it reflected in him. She was about to answer when she stopped and looked him in the eyes. She needed to say something to him, to warn him. "You know you don't have to do this," Natasha said. "All of that shit back there, that's just the tip of the iceberg on what has gone on in my life. There is dark stuff that still keeps me up at night. I don't want to tarnish your name by associating with me. I don't know if you ever looked, but a lot of people are still going after me because of what I did in DC. My file got put out there, and a lot of nasty things surfaced again. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they came after me with an arrest warrant."

Natasha stopped and took a breath, collecting herself from her rambling. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm no good at this," Natasha said. "I haven't had a modern long term relationship ever. I don't show my emotions the best. There is a lot of dark stuff associated with me. And there is no way I am good enough for you. I completely understand if you don't want to do this. Who would want to go out with a monster anyway?"

"Natasha." Steve said, scooting his chair as close as it would possibly go and made sure to look her directly in the eyes. "You are not a monster. I have seen monsters. I have fought them. I have killed them. I have talked with them. And trust me when I say that you are not one. And if it's any consolation, I'm not good at this either. My one long-term relationship kind of... went down the drain. As for tarnishing my name, that would be quite a feat for someone who goes by 'Captain America'," he teased. "And there's dark stuff that keeps both of us awake. We can be there for each other." He raised her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "I'm willing to try this if you are."

Natasha got a wave of confidence at this point, and leaned forward to capture his lips with hers. She put as much passion as she could into it and felt him return it the same. It was like electricity between them, the whole cliche of fireworks going off. She held it for as long as her sore chest would let her and pulled back. There was a look of bliss between them as they settled back in.

"Okay," Natasha said with a smile. "But let's not tell anyone about it yet, I mean besides the people that already know. I know the uproar it was when Captain America was first seen with a date at that Gala after New York. And with my track record lately, we better wait till I'm at least tolerated in the media before we let them know."

"Whatever you want," Steve said with a smile, still holding onto her hand. They stayed there in silence for a bit, just enjoying each other's company. Natasha was actually dating Captain America, and it was a little daunting. She had a million thoughts running through her head right now, but pushed them down.

"As for dinner," Natasha said, starting up the conversation again. "When I'm able to walk without hurting that is. I know a really nice diner in Brooklyn. It's close to my apartment there."

Natasha had numerous safe houses and properties around the world, and the one she used when she was in New York was an out of the way area in Brooklyn. Private, only a few residents, but Natasha had paid good money to have it remodeled. The interior definitely didn't match the exterior, which was perfect for Natasha. Still living in decent comfort, but not being detected at all. But her apartment paled in comparison to Avengers tower, and she wasn't sure if she would be allowed to stay or not. She supposed that it would be a team decision.

"You live in Brooklyn?" Steve asked, clearly intrigued. He grew up in Brooklyn after all, and having a girl that stayed there probably peaked his interest even more. Natasha smiled at his reaction. "When I'm in New York," Natasha said. "It's got an extra bedroom, since somebody put holes in your apartment in DC if you're interested. I think it's a few blocks away from where you were born actually. I read something about it in the Smithsonian."

"Huh," Steve said thoughtfully. "Pretty sure I will be staying here, but I will definitely think about it. Which diner were you thinking of? I was in Brooklyn for a little while before the invasion. Maybe I know it."

"It's called Astrid's," Natasha said. "Kinda a diner/bar place. Great burgers and wings, the game is always on. I had to threaten them to always put the Red Sox on when I show up, stupid Yankees fans that always go there. Usually can find a good game of pool or darts as well."

Steve hummed again. "I've passed by there every once in a while, but never been in." When she mentioned baseball though, he seemed to get even more excited. She knew he was a bit of a fan, but wasn't sure how big. "You a baseball fan?"

"Yeah," Natasha said. "I love the concept of the game. The strategy with it. The old feel to it. Who knew a Russian would be in love with an American pastime. Red Sox are my team, I like watching Pedroia play. He's a good 2nd baseman, probably the best in the League. I have a place in Boston just outside of Fenway. I catch a couple games when I can, gives me some time to unwind."

"Even though the Dodgers are in California now, I still gotta support them," he confessed. "They were my team when I went under and they're my team now. Tony got me tickets to a game for my birthday. It was really great. But I've never been to a Red Sox game. Not in person, anyway."

"Well we'll have to fix that then," Natasha said with another smile. "So you can see who the superior baseball team really is." Natasha was about to continue when Jarvis, Tony Stark's very impressive AI, interrupted them.

"Pardon me, Captain," said JARVIS, his voice emanating from seemingly invisible speakers. "But I have some news I believe you'd like to hear."

"What is it, JARVIS?" Steve asked, looking up.

"Mr. Stark has returned."

"You better get out of here," Natasha said, noting JARVIS's announcement. "Stark wasn't too happy the last time we saw each other. We best keep this news from him for a bit. Go see him, I'll catch up on some sleep."

It was true Natasha was tired, who wouldn't be after what she went through. She didn't want to go to sleep, she wanted to stay awake and talk with Steve, but she understood the necessity for her to heal.

"Alright," he said, pondering her statement for a moment. "But before I go..." He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Natasha's lips. He pulled away with a smile and took his leave. "Be back soon," he promised as the door closed behind him.

Natasha returned the kiss with as much passion as Steve and laid back on the bed as he left. "I'll be here," Natasha said, a goofy grin on her face. "Probably." As Steve left, Natasha kept that goofy grin on her face, completely smitten. "God what are you doing Natalia," she scolded herself, shifting herself in the bed to a more comfortable position. She wasn't able to finish her thought as fatigue took over her and she fell asleep.

A/N: Chapter contributions from A Velvet Rose & SarahCon