Chapter 6: Exposed
September 22nd, 2013
Clint woke up in his guest quarters and stretched out. He threw on some workout clothes, planning on hitting the gym after seeing Natasha and a cup of coffee. He made his way to Natasha's room and stepped inside, only to find all the wires disconnected, and the covers all roughed up.
"This has to be a new record," Clint said, shaking his head and walking towards the elevator.
He climbed in and pressed a button to the main floor.
Once he got out, he walked over to the breakfast bar, only to see the red-haired spy sitting on a stool in stolen boxer shorts and a sweatshirt, sipping on a cup of coffee. Clint ambled over and glanced at the spy who only smirked at him.
"You know the doctor said two weeks," Clint chided, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop Natasha in whatever she was planning on doing.
"And?" Natasha countered.
"Figured a near death experience would at least put you down for more than three days," Clint said, sitting across from her and refilling her cup of coffee as well.
"Didn't stop me in Budapest," Natasha said.
"You and I remember Budapest very differently," Clint said, taking a drink and gesturing to her clothes. "Rogers know you stole his boxers and sweatshirt yet?"
"Wouldn't be much of a spy if he knew that stuff," Natasha said, taking a drink of her coffee. "Besides, it's comfortable. Oversized clothes put less pressure on all of those tubes the doctors stuck in me."
"That's not every reason," Clint chided, pointing to the little metal chain that could be seen around her neck.
Natasha smirked again and took out Steve's dog tags to prove Clint right and then hid them back underneath the sweatshirt. Clint just chuckled and Natasha shook her head.
"Laugh it up Katniss," Natasha said.
"No problem Kim Possible," Clint fired back. "You gonna try and go the distance with him?"
"I think so," Natasha said, confiding in her best friend. He was probably one of the only people she would trust with this information, and since they were alone, she could tell him this. "Haven't felt this way about anyone."
"You've had brief stints with only a few guys, Nat," Clint said. "Barnes, Murdock, hell even me. None of them stuck though, and you got all moody and sad after Murdock and me. I don't want to see you hurt again."
"I'm a big girl Barton," Natasha said. "I can handle it."
"Do I have to give him the older brother speech," Clint asked, knowing her answer already.
"I am way older than you," Natasha replied. "And if we are honest with each other, there is no way you would be able to beat up Captain America."
"Thanks Nat," Clint said, taking another drink of his coffee. "Really appreciate the confidence."
"Your welcome Legolas," Natasha replied, sipping hers as well.
Steve was the next to enter, sending a little flutter in Natasha as she smiled when he walked in.
"Good morning," Steve said as he walked past them to the breakfast bar. "How are you feeling?" He asked instead, pulling a dozen eggs and a carton of milk out of the fridge.
"Excellent," Natasha said with a wink at Steve, causing Clint to scoff. "I'm ready to go on mission."
"Hell no," Clint said. "You should take at least a week, Nat. Do it for me, please?"
Natasha just rolled her eyes and stood up, her bare feet padding over to where Steve was facing the stove, wrapping him in a hug from behind.
"Let's keep this from Stark for as long as possible," Natasha said. "It will be fun to mess with him. Make me a few eggs?"
Natasha unwrapped her arms from his waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek before walking back over to Clint, who just rolled his eyes.
"From what I've gathered, you two might not have time to bump uglies," Clint said. "Hydra seems to be still kicking, even with all of your fireworks in DC. And my guess is that they have something decently powerful if they were working with the Red Room. The next step is eradicating Hydra for good, having them not on the Earth would probably be for the best."
"Tell me about it," Steve said dryly as he turned on the stove and started cracking eggs for him and Natasha. "I've been trying to exterminate these guys since 1942, but they're like cockroaches." The eggs sizzled in the pan. "You know how the saying goes," he said bitterly. "Barton, do you want any?"
"Sure Cap," Clint said. "Besides, anybody cooking is better than Tasha cooking in the morning."
Natasha wanted to comment on how Laura wouldn't let him cook either, but she still had to keep that a secret for a little longer. So Natasha settled for the next best thing. A glare and a "fuck you."
Clint just chuckled and took another drink from his coffee.
"So how does breakfast work around here," Natasha asked. "Do you guys have team bonding time in the mornings?"
Steve hummed thoughtfully as he cooked. "Well, the Avengers haven't really been together for a while. Terra and I have been in DC for quite a while. After the invasion, we stayed maybe a week at the Tower before going our separate ways. We met up every now and then. Kept in touch. Fought the occasional super villain. But this is the first time we've all been back in one place for a while." He folded the omelette in half and shook the pan so it wouldn't stick. "When we have been in the Tower together, we would usually make it a point of having one meal a day together. Usually dinner, since everyone wakes up at different times. I'm usually the first up in the mornings. Five a.m. runs and all." His lips quirked a little as he slowly shook the first omelette onto a place and slid it Natasha's way
Natasha snagged the plate and the fork that came with it and started eating the delicious food that Steve provided her with.
"5 am huh," Clint said with a chuckle, finding some hot sauce and sliding it to Natasha wordlessly, knowing exactly how she liked her eggs. She immediately popped the top of the bottle and poured a gracious amount on her omelet and kept scooping it in, famished due to the lack of solid food for a decent amount of time.
"You know if you ever start spending the night with Tasha you will either have to give those up, or learn to be very stealthy getting out of bed," Clint continued. "She enjoys her sleep."
Natasha couldn't protest at that, merely shrugging her shoulders, "He has a point, I sleep till at least 7."
"She'll claw onto anyone that is in the bed too," Clint said. "Big guy like you will produce a whole bunch of body heat that she will not let go easily."
"Another valid point," Natasha relented.
Steve blushed all the way down his neck and ducked his head, trying to head it. "I... well..." He sputtered, not really paying attention to the eggs. He suddenly snapped back to reality and dumped the next omelette onto a plate (much sloppier). He slid it over to Clint. "That... wouldn't be so bad," Steve managed. "But, I mean..." Gosh, how did he get the courage to say this? "If you know that, does that mean...?" He looked between the two of them and then quickly away, turning even more red.
"Have a relationship?" Natasha finished for Steve. "Yeah, for a couple weeks. Didn't last very long though, there wasn't a lot of depth to the relationship."
"It was a consensual break off," Clint said. "But we still ran a lot of missions together, and some required us to either sleep in a hotel room with one bed, or stay out in the country in one tent. So I still got plenty of Natasha's annoying bed habits."
Natasha was about to protest when the next member of the Avengers announced her presence.
"Morning, kind folk!" Terra said. "Natashaaa, I have something for you to try on," she said in a sing-song voice, holding a dress-bag in front of her and gave it a little shake that was supposed to be tantalizing.
She turned to see Terra, very excited about something. She was wearing what seemed to be a very expensive bride's maid dress, must be for the wedding of the century between Pepper and Stark. At least that was what the media was calling it. She was also shaking a bag in front of her, and it didn't take long for Natasha to piece two and two together.
"Oh no," Natasha said. "I don't do this trying on dresses thing. No girls days out, too much estrogen all around. Wait, why would I get one of these dresses. Aren't they for bridesmaids?"
Terra's arms slumped down with the dress at the first rejection. "Puh-lease, after all the testosterone we've been surrounded by," she gestured to Steve and Clint. "Pretty sure we need to balance our shit out, and Pepper made you a bridesmaid! Exciting, right? I have the bachelorette party all planned out, nothing big, just a good celebration," she assured.
"And you'll look so good in the dress! She even got some custom hidden pockets in them to hide our weapons." To prove her point, she pulled out from the mid back of the dress a sheathed combat knife and quickly put it back. "Just try it on to see if it's a good fit, Pepper'll be down in a moment." The former agent shuffled over to the kitchen table and took the offered omelette plate from Steve with a thank-you Steve, and dug in.
Natasha took the bag and looked at Clint, who just shrugged. Natasha sighed and looked at Terra. She knew when to choose her battles, which were worth fighting and which weren't. She wasn't about to stress out over some dress.
"Fine," Natasha relented. "But only to shut you guys up."
"There's the Natasha we all know and love," Clint said. "Going all Black Widow mode when she doesn't get her way."
If looks could kill, the glare Natasha gave Clint would have incinerated him about fifty times over. Natasha looked back to Terra before walking out of the room.
"Oh," she said over her shoulder to Terra. "Don't tell Stark about Rogers and I. We're gonna see how long we can keep it from him. He'll never drop the jokes and I'm sure the world wouldn't want me to murder Iron Man."
Natasha exited the dining room and entered a bathroom off of the main room. She slipped off Steve's sweatshirt and boxers and took off his dog tags. She carefully placed them all on the sink and then pulled the dress out of the bag. Gold, of course. Now she really looked like an Iron Man nerd with her red hair. Shaking it off, knowing that Pepper would appreciate her trying it on at least. Why Pepper wanted her to be a bridesmaid she'll never know, but she would probably have to gut it out. After all she did spy on Tony and Pepper for a decent amount of time, and lied to their faces a lot.
Natasha slipped on the dress and adjusted it to her body. It fit perfectly, how Pepper got her measurements she would never know. The dress accented her curves perfectly, hugging her body in all the right places. The front of the dress revealed just the right amount of cleavage. Tasteful and not too much, but probably enough to make Steve's jaw drop. Natasha looked at her hair and figured she would have to curl it, something she did a lot when her hair was this short. It was really gaining back the bright red color now, the darker dye finally wearing off.
Natasha looked herself over and figured it didn't look too bad as she gathered the clothes she had on for breakfast and carefully placed Steve's dog tags in one of the compartments that would either hold one of her glocks or a small grenade that had enough power to clear a small room. You just never knew. She walked out of the bathroom and headed back towards the main area, wanting nothing more than to get this over with.
By the time she had returned, the rest of the group was there. Pepper, Tony, and Bruce were all sitting around the counter and eating some breakfast, and Natasha was really happy when she caught Steve's reaction to her in the dress. Pepper came up to her and smiled at her.
"It looks amazing, does it feel okay? Need any adjustments?" Pepper fretted.
"It actually fits really well," Natasha said. "I have no idea how you got my measurements, but well done. It could hug a little more here."
Natasha outlined the area just under her chest that was a slight baggy. It was nitpicking really, but Pepper did ask.
"You look great Nat," Clint said. "Just like Budapest right?"
"Maybe at the beginning," Natasha said, turning around to show Pepper how it looked from the back. "There was little left of that dress after. And it wasn't nearly as expensive as this one."
"What happened in Budapest?" asked Tony, swivelling in his seat to get a good look at one of the bridesmaids at his wedding as Pepper started taking the measurements that Natasha indicated.
"Don't bother, Tony," Terra mumbled while texting someone on her phone. "I've been asking for years and they still won't tell me."
Natasha had a window and gave Steve a discrete wink and coy smile. She wouldn't be much of a spy if she couldn't give her boyfriend seductive looks every once in a while. Natasha raised her arms to allow Pepper to take more measurements as needed and then scoffed when Tony asked her about Budapest.
"The Budapest story would take about three days to really explain," Clint said, finishing his eggs and working on his cup of coffee.
"Plus it's our trade secret," Natasha added. "Clint and I vowed to never tell anyone, on the exception that one of us marries, and since we are both heavily involved in whatever this is now, it doesn't look like it will be anytime soon. Plus I don't know if married life suits us."
Natasha was lying through her teeth on just about every part of that story. Clint was of course already married, and Laura did know everything about Budapest, and there was a high possibility that Natasha would tell Steve at some point. There was always a part of her that maybe wanted to get married, but she never found the right person. Clint was just too awkward after the first few encounters, so they just stepped back into friendship. Murdock was too complicated, leading to many arguments between the two. The closest she got was with James back when she was in the Red Room. But they were torn apart, never really given the chance. And then came Steve, trumping everyone else.
When they had time alone, she would explain that she would be very open to marriage, and was just putting on a charade to keep Stark in the dark.
Tony huffed, turning back to his food practically inhaling his eggs. "I bet you're Budapest story's not even real," he said with his mouth full, half-teasing. But also half-not. "If I can't find any trace of it, it never happened." His expression was smug, as if he couldn't fathom a secret that could successfully be kept from him. Which he probably couldn't.
"Look if I can hack Jarvis, I can make a story disappear if I want to," Natasha said, noticing a small frown on Steve's face. It would look like this conversation would need to take place a bit sooner than expected.
"Captain," Natasha said, lowering her arms after Pepper finished her measurements. "As leader of the Avengers, may I have a word with you in private about my involvement in future Avengers operations?"
Tony grunted in annoyance. "No way you're a better hacker than me," he grumbled.
Steve looked up, only a few bites into his eggs. "Yes," he said simply, looking a bit confused at her formality with everything. He grabbed the plate of food and stood, taking his breakfast with him as he headed into the hall, nodding at Natasha to follow him into the hallway.
Natasha followed him into the hall and looked at Steve.
"Okay listen," she said softly, not wanting anyone to overhear her. "While I do need to talk to you about my future with the Avengers, I also wanted to point out I'm not against marriage. I was just trying to throw Stark off a bit. I've just never been in a relationship long enough to get to that point."
Natasha leaned against the back wall and sighed.
"I just wanted to address that, I figured that would be something that you wanted someday, but if I'm honest with myself, you probably shouldn't be with me," Natasha said.
"Why not?" he asked after a bit, seeming confused about why he shouldn't marry her
"I'm damaged Steve," Natasha said carefully. "But that is a story for another time."
Maybe she would tell him about the Red Room graduation ceremony one day, but today was not the day. This was still something new, something fragile. It might scare him off, when he realizes that his chance of domestic life, kids and all that, would be out the window if he married her. It was selfish of her at this point, but there were other fish to fry.
"What's also important is Hydra," Natasha said. "I know how much Bucky means to you, he means a lot to me too. But the partnership with the Red Room proves that Hydra has a powerful weapon that they are doing something nasty with, which means Fury's intel of there being Hydra bases scattered across the world is more valuable than gold now. I know I'm not an Avenger, but I could maybe sign a contract. I will work for the Avengers, under your and Stark's leadership, until the Hydra threat has been neutralized. That is if you will have me, I know my name isn't the greatest in the media now."
"Natasha, forget the contract. Forget the media. After what you did in Washington, you're an Avenger. No signature needed. Well, now that there's no SHIELD to report to, anyway. We would be honoured to have you." He smiled warmly, grateful to her for everything she'd done for him and with him. "You can stay as long as you like. And helping us take down Hydra? That's your pay cheque. If you're okay with that. Plus room and board, I suppose, once I speak to Tony but I'm sure he'll be fine with it."
"That's the thing about Stark that you also need to know," Natasha said, now folding her arms in front of her chest in shame and embarrassment. "The whole thing during the Stark Expo was bad enough for our professional relationship, but what he hasn't figured out yet is something that is about to come to light. With the recent files released from Shield, he'll find out about one of my last missions that was part of the Red Room. The scientist Ho Yinsen, who was responsible for keeping Stark alive in the cave and helping him design the first Iron Man suit and other things, and he died trying to get Stark out. Well, he was captured because of me."
Natasha took a deep breath and then dived into the mission that would possibly be the last stake between her and Stark.
"Yinsen had been under the Ten Rings hold for a couple years before he met Stark," Natasha said. "The Red Room was contracted by the Ten Rings to capture the scientist. They sent me and the mission was done. I invaded his home, took him, and..."
Natasha swallowed and bowed her head.
"I killed his wife and children," she said, shakily. "And delivered him to the Ten Rings without shedding a tear. Stark will find that out and not want me 50 miles from here, just so you know."
"That might be best coming from you rather than your file," he suggested gently, after processing that information for a bit. "You it yourself, he's going to find out eventually."
Natasha just nodded, knowing that Steve was right about that.
"And the chances he'll just assemble a suit and throw me out the window?" Natasha asked dryly, trying to lighten the mood from the dark tone it just went to. "You better at least be in the room when I tell him."
Steve shrugged in answer to her rhetorical question. "If you want me to be," he said quietly. "Well, if I'm there, probably not as high as they would be," he joked back. "Come on." He gestured back at the room where some of the others were still having breakfast. "You don't have to tell him right now, of course. But let me know when you're ready and I'll be there." He sent her a reassuring smile.
"Okay," Natasha said, a small smile on her face. "But I've got to change out of this dress first. And I need to work out, I've got so much pent up energy from sitting in that bed. Maybe call him to meet me in the gym, I'm gonna head there. Up to you if you want to come with, I'll break it to him there."
Natasha walked over and placed a kiss on Steve's cheek and proceeded out of the hallway to the gym, hopefully finding some training clothes in the locker room area that fit her. Natasha walked into the gym from the locker room, where she found adequate workout clothes. She was tying back what was left of her hair to keep out of her eyes, when she saw Terra going through a workout. Natasha paused and watched Terra's patterns, taking in all of her footwork and various things. She walked over to the ring and leaned on one of the ropes, not making a sound like a good spy.
"Keep tension in your core," Natasha spoke finally, after analyzing her pattern. "You'll be able to channel more force into your swings."
"Gah!" Terra explained in surprise, as she restrained herself from swinging the staff and instead dropped it. The staff clattered to the ground as Terra whipped around, hand on her heart in shock. "Man. You have to wear a bell or something, scared the shit outta me," she laughed a bit nervously, shoving aside her stress and going back to acting like herself.
Bending down to pick up the staff, she said, "Yeah, my old S.O. always told me my core was never very hardcore." The former negotiator gave her tummy a pat and took a sip of her water bottle before setting it down and resting the staff against the ropes. "You wanna spar or somethin'? I won't touch yours if you don't touch mine." She gestured to where Natasha got shot and Terra's own wrapped up stab wounds by Bucky.
"Steve won't be happy," Natasha said, already climbing in the ring.
She grabbed a handful of chalk and chalked up her hands, always a ritual before a spar. She walked over to her corner and started to stretch out her sore muscles, groaning at the tight spots in her chest.
"So you and Banner huh," Natasha said. "Never really pegged him for a romantic."
Terra grabbed a towel to dry herself up a bit before chalking up her own hands. "He's not," she chuckled. "But he tries, and that means more to me. I kinda had to wear him down at first." Biting her lip to hide her smile at the memory. "He definitely had the you'll only get hurt near me, so I have to stay away to keep you safe complex. Had to shut that shit down. And here we are." Terra tightened her braid and waited in the corner for Natasha to finish stretching.
"But you and Steve though! Dream team. But what prompted you to ask him out while bleeding out?" She blew out a breath, just doing the girl talk but also wanting to see if her feelings were legit.
"Well if you're gonna do it," Natasha joked about her very impromptu asking out of Steve. "You know I don't really know what prompted it. Maybe it's because he believed in me during the whole DC thing. He seems to not really care about the shit I did in my past. He is probably the hottest man on Earth. Maybe a combination of all three."
Natasha stood up and cracked her knuckles.
"And while I was there bleeding out, I thought of all the opportunities I squandered in my life. So, I thought I had a shot, and I thought that I was probably going to die anyway, so rejection wouldn't feel bad for long. I honestly didn't expect him to say yes, but I suppose that's all history now."
"Huh. Now that you say it, it makes sense. I wish I passed out before Bruce first rejected me, he was trying to be brutal to scare me off. It sucked, but I'm a stubborn ass," she declared proudly, flipping her braid dramatically over her shoulder. "Ready whenever you are," she said, readying her stance to allow Natasha to make the first move.
Natasha finished stretching and and chuckled at her comment.
"Yeah well men tend to be that way," Natasha said. "At least all the assholes I've met. He's got to be good where it counts though. All of that beast inside of him must have amounted to something translating."
The game had already begun before Terra even knew it. Natasha prided herself on wearing down her opposer mentally and physically. She had probed for information and now would begin a verbal onslaught to fluster Terra to the best of her abilities, all the while physically attacking to make Terra fight a war on two fronts.
Natasha circled around Terra, still an innocent smirk on her face like this was just a simple spar, but if Terra picked up even one thing about her through Shield and the reputation she had there, the Black Widow doesn't lose.
"Nerd in the streets but a Hulk in the sheets right?" Natasha fired again before flipping towards Terra and aiming a kick right at her midsection.
Prepared for her attack, Terra snapped to the left. "God, I hope not." Grabbing Natasha's ankle, she used the force she put into that kick against her to bring her off-balance, tugging her forward. "I'd hate to be crushed," she joked, aiming a kick at her other leg to hopefully sweep her off her feet.
As Terra brought her own kick against Natasha, she managed to channel enough strength to send a kick with her off foot back at Terra's, connecting their legs mid strike. However, Natasha had the small secret weapon of a super soldier serum, and figured that she channeled a little more force into her kick than Terra's.
"Smart girl like you would know how to roll with it," Natasha said, regaining her balance and sending a palm strike at an uninjured part of Terra's midsection. "As for me, I can't wait till my turn with Steve. You modern day girls just don't know how to do things right."
Natasha's kick sent hers taking a step back. The palm strike, however, landed and had Terra huffing out a breath. "Well, I know a few people who would disagree," she chirped, grabbing Natasha's forearm to send them both to the floor, Terra pinning her with hands on her wrists and knees on her thighs.
"I would like to make a few things clear though, if I may," she said, blowing a strand of loose hair out of her eyes.
"Now don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for you guys. I think it'll work great. But." Terra's eyes hardened a little but kept the tone casual. "I don't need to tell you how good-hearted Steve is. And how he will put his all into the relationship. Thing is, you'll need to put your all in too." Her hands turned metallic silver from absorbing the metal from her hair elastic, keeping Natasha's hands pinned down until she finished what she had to say.
"His last girlfriend was really closed off. He wanted to help her but couldn't and it left him broken-hearted. I don't want to see that again. So, let him listen and help. Don't play any games, don't be with him unless your only reason is that you care about him," Terra emphasized, leaning down closer to her face. "Because if you fuck around," she whispered. "I promise I will fuck you up."
She let the tension sit for a millisecond and then pressed a small kiss on Natasha's nose to break it, pulling back with a grin. "I'm saying this because I care about him, and you! And also because it's payback for Steve threatening Bruce before we even dated!" She shook her head and let the metal disappear from her hands with a sigh.
"Alright, you can hit me now."
Natasha just grinned at Terra's threat and let her completely finish before finally subduing the former agent. The metal was a good party trick, but for someone with super soldier serum, she could break through easily.
Natasha laid on the ground for a second, looking up at Terra.
"You know you're kinda cute when you're angry," Natasha teased before continuing. "Let me tell you something."
Natasha kicked up off the floor and used her complete skill set and strength to finish Terra off. She needed to show dominance after all. She threw two strikes to the stomach and one to the chin, sending her stumbling back.
"You won't fuck me up kid," Natasha said, then flipping over Terra and reaching around her neck and grabbing on, not choking her, but just for grip. "It's an admiral statement, but you won't."
Natasha then placed a strong kick to the back of Terra's knees, sending them buckling and then struck up with her knee into Terra's back, pushing her to the ground. As soon as Terra was down, Natasha straddled her back and placed a forearm to the side of her head, pinning her effectively.
"But I'll also tell you I'm putting my all into this relationship too," Natasha said. "But you have to realize that this is completely new territory to me and I have a very dark past that I don't like to talk about. Steve is going to have to endure my bullshit every once in a while to get anywhere with it, so he might be pissed off at me. Probably will be, but I expect that he is a patient person and he will understand that."
Natasha then leaned down by her ear and whispered a threat that she took very seriously.
"But if you do try and come at me about my relationship, you will not like the outcome. I'm a big girl, and I can handle this," Natasha said and then pressed a kiss to Terra's cheek before leaning back up. "Yield."
"That's all I ask," Terra grunted, her voice muffled by the floor she was pinned to. "Obviously I value Steve more than to worry about, ugh, getting beat up, so I will be taking my risks on that outcome. I'm sure you would probably do the same for Clint. But yeah, I yield." She gave the floor two little pats. "Pass me my towel?"
By that time Pepper walked in with some yoga pants and a work-out tank top. She paused in taking a sip of her water bottle as she took in the scene. "Should I come back later?" She asked carefully
"No, no, s'all good," Terra assured, hopping up from the floor as soon as she was able, wiping her lip with the back of her hand. "Ready to work your ass off, Pepper Potts?" She walked under the rope and hopped off the platform.
Pepper chuckled and nodded. "Do your worst, Montgomery."
"Cool beans, start stretching," Terra said.
She passed Terra her towel and patted her on the back.
"Good workout kid," Natasha commended. "I'd believe what your file said about you. Glad to have you on our side."
Natasha herself grabbed a bottle of water and sighed as most of her sore muscles had been alleviated through that work out. It felt great, almost like she was alive again, no pun intended.
"Pepper I want to apologize for the whole thing during the Stark Expo," Natasha said, figuring she needed to at least verbally offer this. "Saying I was under orders is a bull shit excuse and I really don't have another defense. I hope you can forgive me."
Pepper looked up from touching her toes. "Oh, Natasha, it's all in the past now. I guess all we can ask is to just be honest from now on? We're all on the same side now," she said positively. She stood up to stretch out her arms. "Don't worry about Tony, it's just... he takes longer to trust people. A lot of people have let him down," she sighed.
"I'm sure the more she's around, the more he'll warm up to her. He'll get to know her more," Terra suggested.
"Exactly," Pepper agreed. "You guys will work together more and he'll learn to trust you."
"Mmhmm, now do twenty lunges."
Pepper started the lunges.
"I doubt that," Natasha said under her breath and then nodded at Pepper. "I'll do my best."
She hopped down from the ring and made her way over to the heavy bags, not quite done hitting something for the day.
Steve was next to arrive in the gym, dressed in sweats and a grey, tight-fitting T-shirt with a white towel thrown over his shoulders. He set his water bottle down on one of the benches near the door, taking in the scene before him. "Guess Tony hasn't arrived yet," he mused, placing the towel next to the bottle. He wandered over to Natasha at the punching bag and went around the other side. He braced himself against the bag. "Need a partner?" He asked.
"I don't know," Natasha said, wiping some sweat from her eyes. "You have more friends that are going to try and threaten me over what I do with this relationship?"
Natasha smirked and went back to hitting the bag.
"Some people would take that the wrong way Steven," Natasha teased
Steve glanced at Terra and chuckled, shaking his head. "Not that I know of," he grunted as Natasha hit the bag. "Hopefully you won't. Cause if you and Terra didn't get along, that would put sort of a damper on things." He braced himself more steadily against the bag, adapting to the force of Natasha's hits.
The elevator rang its bell and Tony stepped out, dressed in shorts and a wifebeater, shoulders drooping. Despite his resistance about going to the gym, he was actually quite fit, with decent arm muscles being the stand-out and result of his many pull-ups that he did in his workshop mostly out of boredom. With a resigned sigh, he made his way over to Pepper and started to stretch as well.
"We'll get along as long as she stays out of my private life," Natasha said, upping her tempo a bit, now breaking a sweat.
She finished with a flurry of kicks and then punched the bag as hard as she could, splitting it and having sand leak out. Not as impressive as completely knocking it off the hook and across the room like Steve was known for, but decently impressive. Natasha leaned back and started to catch her breath.
"Now for the fun part," Natasha said, turning around and calling out across the room. "Hey Tony, I have to tell you something."
Across the room, Tony paused in his arm-stretch and turned to Natasha, brows furrowed. "Yeah?"
Steve grabbed some bandages from the corner and began wrapping his hands, wandering idly over to Natasha, standing just behind her left shoulder in silent support. Natasha knew she should maybe try to do this in private, but she wanted this out in the open for everyone so they could make their own decision.
"I have been advised recently to not keep secrets from you guys anymore," Natasha started, knowing this was probably going to get ugly. "So If we are going to work together, it's better that you find this out from me than reading it online somewhere due to the recent data dump."
Natasha took a deep breath and looked Tony right in the eyes, not breaking contact and showing weakness that way.
"About a year before you were captured by the Ten Rings and became Iron Man, I was still working for the Red Room," Natasha said. "I was a top agent, always carrying out my missions. One of the last missions I ran was someone very important to you. Ho Yinsen was on a target list from the Ten Rings and they put out a call that only the real criminal higher ups would call to. Naturally the KGB delegated this task to the Red Room and I was put on the case. I had to track down Yinsen, and when I did, I captured him and killed his family. They weren't necessary to the mission."
Natasha had transported back in time at this point, eyes half glazed over as she recounted these memories.
"When I brought Yinsen to the Ten Rings I asked what they wanted with him," Natasha continued. "They said they were targeting a high profile mark, and Yinsen could be of help to him whether technical or medical. You can probably guess who that next man was."
Natasha shook from her trance and looked back at Tony.
"I'm the one responsible for Yinsen's death," Natasha said. "I killed his family, and I was a part of your capture as well. I deserve whatever punishment you see fit."
From the very first sentence, Tony had scowled preemptively, probably expecting it to be bad. And right he was. As soon as she said Yinsen's name, his entire body tensed. Tony's hand fumbled for something to hold on to and found Pepper's arm, clutching it in an iron-clad grip. He steadied himself as best he could, blinking away the salt in his eyes. "You... you..." He could barely form the words.
"Yes," Natasha managed, holding her ground.
She couldn't show weakness here, she had to own this. She fought the new urge to curl into Steve, let the protective nature that he just naturally gave off surround her. She needed to take this, no more hiding. No more secrets.
"I'm not going to give excuses," Natasha continued on. "Saying that it was a different me, the KGB was controlling me and all that shit. I did those things, and I alone am responsible."
Natasha stepped forward, clearly presenting herself for punishment.
"I accept whatever punishment you deem fit," Natasha said. "I just want you to know that I've spent my entire life since Barton brought me back trying to wash the red out of my ledger. An impossible task, but one I will never stop trying to accomplish."
Natasha glanced towards Pepper and Terra, and even Clint who was standing by the door.
"I'll pack my things and go," Natasha surmised from Tony's look. "I'll stay in my apartment in Brooklyn so you don't have to see me every day. I'll still be Pepper's bridesmaid if she and you want it, and we can work together from a distance."
Tony swallowed heavily and nodded. She could see that there maybe would still be some tension and decisions to be made in the future, but for now this was acceptable to him.
"Wait," Steve interjected, stepping forward and placing himself between Natasha and the door.
"Stay out of this!" Tony barked immediately.
Steve stood his ground. "Tony," he tried to reason, but Tony's fuse was too short.
"It's her fault!" He yelled, his limbs thrown out like a puppet that had just been jostled to life. "Her fault Yinsen was in Afghanistan. Her fault those assholes kidnapped me. Her fault that he- that he-" Tony wiped at his nose with his sleeve. "She killed my mentor and his entire family. She..."
"Tony," Steve tried again, arms raised placatingly. "If none of those things had happened, you never would have become Iron Man. Or an Avenger. Or gone to space."
"Are you trying to say it was worth it?" Outrage poured out of Tony's very essence.
"No," Steve replied calmly. "But you can't change the past, Tony. She did what she did and now you have a fiance and a team and a corner of the market on clean energy, none of which you had before. Natasha is trying to make amends-"
"You're too soft, Rogers," Tony accused, his muscles twitching from being clenched so long.
"Whoever said soft was bad?" Steve said.
"I did. Just now." Tony responded firmly.
"Tony-" Steve tried but was interrupted again.
"No!" He swept his free arm aside and knocked over the shelves of bandages and chalk. They clattered to the floor, unravelling as they went. "No! It's her fault and I want her out of my tower!" He glowered at them both, shaking in something akin to rage. Or maybe it was something else.
Terra stepped forward from Tony, to stand in the middle between Natasha and him. "Tony's feelings are obviously very valid. He has every right to be furious," she said firmly. "And we also accepted Natasha here, despite her past. The only thing that is different is the knowledge that it directly affected one of us."
She blew out a breath, looking at the ceiling as she gathered her thoughts, not speaking directly to a single person. More like saying it to the room. "It is Tony's tower. He didn't have to let us stay here without expecting anything in return, but he did. That shouldn't be taken lightly." She looked at Tony and softened her tone. "But we all collectively decided we have a responsibility to keep the world safe."
"You never have to forgive her, Tony. But you have to think if the person you see right now," she gestured to Natasha. "-would do the same thing now that she did back then. If she's changed. Because if you think not, kick her out," she nodded. "But if you think, despite how much you hate her, that she's changed? Then you don't have to have anything to do with her besides missions. Because she's an asset to help us protect the world," Terra concluded, stepping back to lean against the wall.
Natasha simply walked forward and placed a gentle hand on Steve's shoulder.
"It's fine guys," Natasha said. "It really is."
Natasha turned to Steve wanted to kiss him, assure him that it was okay and she was fine with the decision that Tony made. But she knew it would probably only enrage Tony more at this point. She looked back to Terra and gave her the same sad smile, one that said she appreciated what she was trying to do.
"Wait," Clint said, now walking forward from the doorway.
"Clint not now," Natasha said, not wanting him to reveal any of her or his secrets that he might think would help her in this situation.
"No Nat," Clint said, pulling out his phone and mirroring his screen to one that was in the gym. "I'm doing this."
Natasha could only nod as he pulled up her money statements for her web from Isaiah. The current balance was in the top right, and it had taken a hit since the Hydra debacle, but it still remained above 5 million. Below that were the various deposits and withdrawals that Isaiah had labeled so appropriately for her.
"This is Nat's web as she calls it," Clint explained. "Aside from her work with Shield, which she still carried to a high level, she spent her weekends doing various dangerous jobs around the world for extra money. Jobs that were all helping other people. I know because she asked me to help on a couple of them. Now recently, her web has taken a hit because of the Hydra outbreak, and you can see that here with the low number, but if I scroll back previously."
Clint scrolled up and then the big numbers started rolling in.
"She had balances upwards of 100 million at one point," Clint said. "But let me show you what she spends it on."
He switched the screen to only show the withdrawals and reasons for them, and what could be seen was Clint's best case for Natasha.
"That looks like 10 million donation to Children's Hospital," Clint listed off. "5 million to lymphoma research. 7 million to Foster Care services. Oh, and remember that giant, anonymous 75 million dollar donation to your charity Stark."
Clint clicked on the link and sure enough, the 75 million dollar donation was shown with the confirmation letter from Stark Industries, thanking them for the anonymous donation.
"You see Nat doesn't keep any of that," Clint said. "She pays her accountant with her Shield salary, as does she for her various properties around the world, car payments, and everything else. Natasha, what's your current personal bank status now."
Natasha could hit Clint for interfering at this time, but she knew he was only trying to help. She had just paid all of her bills, barely, so this was going to be a low number.
"132.45," Natasha mumbled and Clint looked right at Tony.
"She has, what you probably carry cash in your wallet every day, to her name now," Clint said. "And she won't take it from her web, because she's trying to make up for what she did. Let me tell you something Stark, I know she's done bad things. She's told me about most every one of them, but she doesn't stop working or giving away money. There are times where I have to force her to eat the food I buy for her, because she can't afford lunch and she doesn't want me to pay. The Black Widow sometimes can't afford lunch."
Clint now had his back to Natasha, protecting his friend and godmother of his children, and daring Tony to take a swipe at her.
"If you think that we all don't have shitty pasts then you're in the wrong business," Clint said. "And if what she's done isn't proof enough that she has changed, then I'm leaving with her."
"Clint don-," Natasha started before Clint cut her off yet again.
"No Nat," Clint said, glaring back at Tony. "You won't defend yourself so I'm going to."
Tony just stared down everyone for the longest time, processing everything that was said. With a huff, Tony turned on his heel and stalked into the elevator as Bruce walked out of it, brushing past him harshly enough to ram shoulders.
Bruce turned to the others. "Um, what'd I miss?"
Natasha didn't say a thing, just turned around her self and walked out of the gym back to Steve's room, knowing she would have peace and quiet there. She got there and just started pacing. After a bit, a soft knock came from the door and Steve came in.
"Hey," he said softly.
Natasha snapped out of the trance that she was in, staring out the window, and screamed in anger. She threw a knife she had into the wall across the room and embedded it deep in the wall.
"I can't believe this," Natasha shouted in anger. "How could I be this stupid?"
Natasha threw another knife and placed it right next to the other one, still with pinpoint accuracy.
"And who the hell does he think he is?" Natasha asked, venting to Steve completely. "I mean talk about being born with a silver spoon in your fucking mouth. I was born in the streets of Stalingrad, Russia. Back when only the toughest of the tough survived then. I fought through World War 2, and he hadn't even been conceived yet. He doesn't know what it means to make a life or death decision."
Natasha threw another knife, embedding it right next to the other two. Tears were now streaming down her face.
"His decisions revolved around what he wanted to eat for fucking breakfast," Natasha screamed, voice raising now. "I had to do that stuff for the Red Room. If I didn't carry out those missions, they would hurt me. Break my bones. Burn my skin. Beat me. Probably even kill me. There were times I even felt I was brainwashed too. Just like James."
Natasha hurled a last knife with all of her strength, putting it between all of the other three, and putting a small crack in the wall. She was breathing deeply now, tears slowing but still exhausted with her little vent. She brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face and looked over to Steve.
"This was a fucking mistake," Natasha surmised. "Coming here was. Stark is never going to forgive me, let alone want to work with me. Pepper is going to side with Stark, so I don't have any leverage there. Banner will side with Stark too. Terra already doesn't trust me. She already gave me that whole, if you hurt Steve I'll come and end you speech. I'm guessing you and Terra have about the same relationship I have with Clint, and he never thought about giving you that whole speech because he trusts you. So if we are counting Avengers that hate and don't trust me, we have Iron Man, Hulk, Absorbing Woman or whatever you call Terra, and probably Captain America."
Natasha sighed and turned to look out the window, overlooking the New York skyline.
"Look Steve," Natasha said. "You're probably already disgusted with me, in just this incident. And this is just the tip of the iceberg with me. I've done worse, had worse done to me. Stark isn't going to want me here, and he will tolerate us dating even less than that. I don't want you to ruin your reputation with the Avengers because of me. Captain America is more valuable than Black Widow. I'll just pack up and head west."
"Stop," he said, daring to step closer. He could see her reflection in the window and vice versa as he approached. "Stop doing that to yourself. You're telling yourself things about other people you can't know for sure. And you're wrong. Maybe not about all of it, but definitely about me. I'm not against you. I trust you. And I could never hate you."
He was close now - close enough to touch, but he kept his hands down. He wanted to be cautious. He didn't want to seem like he was telling her how to feel because she had every right to feel this way. Licking his lips, he continued. "We're not measuring the perceived value of team members, Natasha. But if we were? You'd be way higher than you ever put yourself." He spoke gently, soothingly, trying to rub her shoulder comfortingly with just his words. "And... if you're leaving, I'm coming with you."
"Absolutely not Steven Grant Rogers," Natasha said, shrugging away from his touch and moving to the other side of the room.
She was in a flurry of emotions right now. Anger, depression, frustration, all which were causing her to retreat into herself like she always had before.
"You do not leave the Avengers if I leave," Natasha continued, looking at him with angry, tear filled eyes. "That is letting the entire world down because of me and I won't have it. You have a responsibility to be the beacon the Avengers provide. You may not have asked for it and may not want it, but it's there. Myself here would only ruin things for the world. I...I...I..."
At that point, Natasha just leaned back against the wall and slid down, hugging her knees to her chest. If she was being upfront with people today, this could be the thing that would drive Steve off. Not that she wanted him to go, this would probably be the best thing that would ever happen to her. But, it might be better for Steve without her. Terra's warning went through her head about the last girl Steve dated being all closed off with him, and she didn't want to put him through that. So, if this was either a band-aid that would be ripped off and done with, or replied to stick forever.
"You don't want to be with me," Natasha mumbled, knowing very well Steve with his enhanced hearing could hear her. "I'm damaged. I can't give you a family, ever. Part of the Red Room training was what was called the graduation ceremony. It was a final round of tests, and at the very end, they sterilized you."
Natasha leaned up her head to look at Steve, tears streaming down her face.
"It makes everything easier," Natasha surmised from her instructor's words. "Even killing. One less thing to worry about that would keep you from completing a mission."
He sat down cross-legged in front of Natasha, a safe distance away but close enough that she could reach him easily if she wanted to.
Swallowing, Steve tried to formulate a reply. "That doesn't matter to me," he said. "You matter to me. And I'm not just going to let you drop me and walk out without a single consideration for how that would make me feel." He was calm, but stern, wanting to get his message across without aggression. "You say we'd be letting down the entire world if I left with you. I think you give yourself too much credit," he joked, hoping it didn't fall flat.
"The sky won't fall because I want to be with you," he said gently. "And nothing is set in stone. If I didn't live here, that doesn't mean I'd stop being an Avenger or stop being Captain America. And we won't know anything for sure until it happens. But I'm going to try and make sure it doesn't come to that. I'll talk to Tony."
Natasha didn't say anything. What could she say? The most understanding man in the world sat in front of her, assuring her that everything would be okay. She believed him too, every word. A small smile came on her face as he kept on his speech. He still wasn't great talking to women, but it was perfect for her.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips. When she pulled away, she looked into his eyes.
"Thank you," Natasha said. "I'm going to stay at my apartment in Brooklyn for the time being. Clint will give you the address since I don't have a pen on me right now."
Natasha got up and started walking to the door. She paused at the door frame and turned back to him.
"Talk to Tony if you want, but let him make his decision," Natasha said. "He should be free to do that. Also, tell Pepper that should really think about me being a bridesmaid. It mightl be better for everyone. If you guys still want me around, you may ask me to be your date to the wedding. Until then, I'll stay in Brooklyn. Feel free to drop by anytime."
Natasha thought for a second and went back over to him, pressing a big kiss to his lips before heading out the door and down the elevator. Natasha entered the lobby of Stark tower to see Clint standing by the desk, almost as if he knew where she was headed.
"Are you skipping town?" Clint asked, walking with her as she walked by.
"Not this time," Natasha said, getting closer to the door.
"He really left that much of an impression on you," Clint asked.
"I told him about the Graduation Ceremony," Natasha confessed.
Clint's eyes widened and Natasha continued, "And he didn't run."
"That's not the man Steve Rogers is," Clint said. "You're a lucky girl Tash."
"Doesn't always seem like it," Natasha said. "First Yelena, then Shield, almost losing you, almost dying, there has been a lot."
"And yet here you are," Clint said. "Having Ava now, the Avengers picked you up, I'm fine, you're alive, and you have Steve Rogers wrapped around your little finger. You may not even know it yet, but I can see it. Laura had me the same way."
Natasha chuckled as she reached the door. She was about to leave when she looked back. Clint just smiled at her and produced a bottle of Vodka, the good Russian kind, from inside his jacket.
"I jacked it from Stark's collection," Clint said. "Figured you needed it more than him."
Natasha smiled at her best friend and wrapped him in a big hug. There was just that tight bond between them, something that could never be severed. When she pulled away, Clint reached to her chest and grabbed the two things she wore there. The silver arrow necklace he had given her, and the dog tags she stole from Steve.
"Let these be reminders for you," Clint said. "These people will always be here for you. No matter what."
He let them go and Natasha smiled.
"Give Steve my address," Natasha said. "I'll see you at the wedding, unless you want to drop in sometime before."
"You know I won't miss pizza night," Clint said. "Take care of yourself."
"You'll see me in a couple of days," Natasha said. "Goodbye Clint."
"See you soon Tash," Clint said.
Natasha smiled one last time and then walked out the door of the tower and turned down the street towards her apartment. She wasn't quite as famous as every other Avenger, so she didn't draw much attention. She walked down the street and didn't look back, knowing that she'd be back someday. Just not yet. She still had red in her ledger, and it wasn't going away anytime soon.
A/N Chapter contribution from A Velvet Rose and SarahCon