Chapter 12: Sheltered

Natasha vaguely remembered being helped to the quinjet and set in one of the seats. She didn't take off her suit or gauntlets. She didn't clean up the blood on the small cut she had taken during the fight. She didn't speak to anyone.

The rest of the team eventually got onto the jet, Clint and Tony being the only ones that escaped not being brain warped by the Maximoff girl. Even Bruce had got it, and apparently had wrecked a decent portion of the city. He was wrapped in a blanket on the floor of the jet, not making eye contact either. Steve was in another seat across the jet, eyes closed as he worked through things. Thor was pacing around, wringing his hands. Terra was laying on one of the benches, bucket near her, as she had some nausea.

Clint and Tony were in the front, having a discussion about something, Natasha didn't know what or much care at this point. She kept seeing the flashes of the Red Room, the Winter Soldier going in for the kill, shooting the man, the Graduation Ceremony. It was almost too much to bear, and yet she sat there.

Silent.

November 18th, 2013
Unknown Location

As soon as they touched down, Natasha looked outside for the first time. She recognized the land, the scenery around it. They were at Clint's farm, and he was finally sharing the secret with the rest of the team. She was going to bring Steve here for Thanksgiving, Clint had given his permission. It just looked like this was going to happen first.

The rest of the team was getting up, but Natasha couldn't get there quite yet. Clint was over by her and kneeled down so he was eye level. He took one look in her eyes and knew that she was gonna need some help getting to the house. Once she was there, she would be able to decompress.

He picked her up and supported her as they headed out of the jet, being followed by the other Avengers. They walked for a little bit, farmhouse coming into view. Natasha could almost smell Laura's cooking.

"What is this place," she heard Thor ask behind them.

"A safe house," Tony answered, though it was phrase more like a question as even he didn't have a lot of the specifics.

"Let's hope," Clint said, as they got to the porch and headed inside.

Natasha was met with the lovely smell that always accompanied the Barton household. She felt herself relaxing almost immediately, as her stress was replaced with the fond memories that were shared here. Ever since Clint entrusted her with this secret for the first time, she spent a majority of the major holidays here with the Bartons. Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Fourth of July. When she wasn't on a mission and there was a holiday, she was usually at the Bartons.

She automatically made her way to the other side of the room to look at the pictures, bound to be new ones since it had been a couple months since she was able to visit. Almost six, she couldn't believe how fast time moved.

"Honey," Clint called out. "I'm home."

From around the wall leading into the dining room, a decently pregnant Laura came around. She was holding some colored pictures and smiled when she saw Clint and then it faltered a little when she saw the rest of the Avengers.

"Hi," Clint said. "Company. Sorry I didn't call ahead."

Laura just smiled, knowing this was a very interesting life her husband led and it was bound to come to this sometime. With a soft "hey" she walked over to embrace him, kissing him welcome.

"That's an agent of some kind," Tony said, the look of shock on his face.

It was pretty much mirrored on everyone else's face at the realization of Laura being in Clint's life. All except Natasha, who had turned at this point. No one noticed her though, as she was off to the side and they were still focused on Laura.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Clint said, placing one arm around his wife. "This is Laura."

Laura waved awkwardly, "I know all your names," Laura said, being told from stories and just generally from the news.

After a few seconds, the sound of two pairs of feet running towards the family room became very loud.

"Ooh incoming," Clint said, smiling and moving over close to the staircase.

Around the wall, Lila and Cooper Barton came tearing around the corner.

"Dad," Lila said, jumping into her father's arms.

"Hey sweetheart," Clint said, picking up Lila and rubbing the Cooper's head. "Hey buddy. How are you guys doing?"

Tony just gaped for a moment more, following more looks of confusion from the rest of the Avengers as well.

"These are... smaller agents," Tony managed after a second.

"Did you bring Auntie Nat?" Lila asked, looking at her Dad hopefully.

The words Auntie Nat seemed to snap Natasha out of the trance that she was in. She loved these kids like they were her own, they were probably the closest she would ever get to having children. She had been here numerous times, and developed a tight bond with the family.

"Why don't you hug her and find out," Natasha said, stepping forward to catch Lila who was running at her.

Natasha scooped her up and carried her around the room, making Clint chuckle at both of the girl's joy.

"Sorry to barge in," Steve said, ever making sure he was respectful of everyone else, something that Natasha absolutely adored.

Tony crossed his arms. "Yeah, we would've called ahead but we were busy having no idea that you existed." He didn't sound mad, more trying to cope with the situation with a bit of sarcasm.

"Yeah well Fury helped me set this up when I joined," Clint said, happy to be home. "He kept it off Shield files. I figured it would be a good place to lay low."

Over by Steve, Thor adjusted his footing and felt something crunch underneath his foot. He looked down and saw what appeared to be some building block toys, now in a few different pieces. He glanced up and saw that Steve was looking as well. He casually just slid them under a chair with his foot, pretending like the whole thing didn't happen.

Lila let go of Natasha and Nat went over to talk to Laura. A brief greeting between the girls and Natasha smiled a genuine smile, one reserved for only this family.

"Oh I've missed you," Natasha said, really needing a girl to talk to about her problems the last couple weeks. Instead of dwelling on that, she reached out and cupped Laura's belly. "How's little Natasha?"

Finding out Laura was pregnant put Natasha over the moon and the honor of being the child's namesake made her even more excited. She had already bought them so many baby supplies and was waiting on the gender confirmation to start to get personalized stuff.

"She's..." Laura said, getting an apologetic look on her face. "Nathaniel."

Natasha had a huge smile on her face, but it faltered for a bit when she found out the kid being named after her was a boy. She kept up the act, not actually being upset about that and leaned down to talk to Laura's belly.

"Traitor," she said.

Lila went over to Thor at that point and looked up at him. Thor looked down at the much smaller human, got a look of confusion on his face, and didn't waste any time walking out of the room, heading for the door. Steve followed, probably to find out where he was going.

Natasha made a little more small talk with Laura and when she looked back to the door, Steve was gone as well. After greeting Cooper, Natasha knew she needed some time to herself. She wanted to spend more time with Steve, but she couldn't find him and figured that he also needed some alone time. She was a little hurt he hadn't asked about her, but she understood nonetheless. They had a connection, they'd proved it when they spent their first night together intimately, and then the nights following. They hadn't used the 'L' word yet, but she felt it on the tip of her tongue.

She walked outside and went over by the woodpile that Clint had. There were a lot of logs that needed to be cut, but Natasha didn't feel like it right now. She just went over to the full grown tree right next to the area and sat down underneath it, thinking about what she saw. The Graduation Ceremony in particular, and the particular aspect that she wouldn't be able to give Steve. Her hand dropped to her stomach as she imagined what it would be like to be pregnant with Steve's baby.

Lila ran out after a bit with some more comfortable clothes that Natasha kept here and Natasha smiled and said thank you, taking the bottle of water and portion of poppy seed bread that Laura had made recently to snack on.

Lila ran back inside and Natasha took off her uniform top, leaving a sport tank top underneath. She slipped on the large flannel shirt over it, leaving it unbuttoned as she took off her boots and pants, still having compression shorts underneath that went down to her mid-thigh. She slipped some sweatpants on over that and resumed her thinking, knowing she would be taking a shower sooner or later and would get a full change then.

After about fifteen more minutes, she heard footsteps coming from her right and looked over to see Steve walking up, still in his Avengers uniform. He looked a little worse for wear, whatever he went to do must have been pretty emotional.

"Hey," he said, and Natasha could tell he was unsure of what to actually say. He lowered himself to sit in the grass across from her. "How are you feeling?"

Natasha took a deep breath and looked at Steve, "Better. Sorry for not telling you about this place. It's Clint's closest secret. I was planning on taking you here for Thanksgiving, but yeah, life."

"Don't be sorry," he urged. "It wasn't your secret to tell. And, actually, I'm sorry. For not asking after you earlier. I was going to but then I saw you with Clint and the kids and you just seemed... like you didn't need me. I should have asked anyway, I know. I'm sorry." He wiggled his foot back and forth, digging his heel into the dirt slowly but surely.

"I do need you," Natasha said, and then decided to broach the subject that was hanging in the air. "But you don't need me."

Natasha stared off to the farmland as the memories of her vision came rushing back, and she had to push it down and face the hard truth.

"I had this dream," Natasha said. "One that seems normal at the time. And then when I woke up, I saw that it was something that was only meant to be in a dream. I dreamt that I was an Avenger and good enough to be with you. Basically anything else that I was truly made to be. I'm not fit for you Steve, and it's probably best you stay away from me. My body is mutilated and I can't give you children. My past is blood red, the amount of people I've killed, and personally affected someone on this team. We shouldn't be together, it wouldn't be right of me to hold you to that."

Did Natasha want to say the words? Absolutely not. Her words about needing Steve were the absolute truth, but so was the rest of her statement. The vision she was shown was an eye opener, making her fully realize what Tony saw her as.

"Still think that the Hulk is the only monster on the team," Natasha said dryly.

Steve paused to think, staring off at the tops of the trees blowing in the wind. "I never thought Bruce was the only monster on the team," he answered carefully. "We all think we're monsters but none of us really are. We're all just... trying to do good in a fucked up world. I know, I know. 'Language.'" He rolled his eyes. "If Tony heard me say the word 'fuck' he might have an aneurism. And for the record, I do need you."

Here he turned to look at her, the love he bore her clear to see in his eyes and the lines of his face. "I need you to tell me when I'm being a selfish idiot. And I need you because you make me feel like waking up from the ice was worth it."

"But what about the things that I can't give you," Natasha said, obviously fretting about being incomplete. "I can't give you a family. I can't give you a clean relationship with the entire team, you're basically soiling yourself with half the Avengers by associating with me. You're the leader for God's sake."

Natasha looked over at him, sadness in her eyes but also the undying fidelity to him. She smiled a small smile and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek before standing up.

"Just think about what I said," Natasha said, turning to head back in the house. "I want you to be absolutely sure Steven. Chop some wood, it helps."

Natasha headed back inside, fighting back tears, and hoping that he decided to stay with her, but expecting him to realize that he was better off without her. She did however see the realization in his eyes after a minute. About how wanting a family meant just as much to her as it did to him, and possibly more. She wanted a family like Clint had, and wanted it with Steve too, but she couldn't have it, and that thought was crushing.

Natasha had managed a shower and some private talk with Laura a bit later. When she got out of the shower, she was surprised to see Nick Fury in the house with all of them. Apparently he just decided to stop by and give some pep talks. It worked on Tony, since whatever Fury said to him was enough to get him moving around the room.

Everyone was in the main area after some food prepared by Laura, Natasha sitting at the island with Clint at the sink and Tony and Terra playing a game of darts off to the side.

Fury picked up a glass from the dish rack. "Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time," he announced, walking over to the counter. "My contacts all say he's building something. The amount of Vibranium he made off with, I don't think it's just one thing."

"What about Ultron himself?" Steve asked, clearly the one paying the most attention.

"Ah. He's easy to track, he's everywhere," Fury responded. "Guy's multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit. Still doesn't help us get an angle on any of his plans though."

"He still going after launch codes?" Tony asked, one ear on the conversation and one ear on the thumps of his current dart competition.

"Yes, he is," Fury said, looking rather domestic out of his trench coat in a homely setting. "But he's not making any headway."

Tony almost laughed. "I cracked the Pentagon's firewall in high school once on a dare."

"Yeah, well, I contacted our friends at the NEXUS about that," Fury said before Steve interrupted for clarification.

"NEXUS?" Steve prompted.

"It's the world Internet hub in Oslo," Bruce provided, saying something to the group for the first time since arriving at Hawkeye's farm, though he kept his eyes downcast. "Every byte of data flows through them. Fastest access on Earth."

Natasha was quietly sitting at the island listening and digesting the conversation. As the boys were talking, Lila ran over and gave her a picture of a butterfly and Natasha smiled and very quietly thanked her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"So what did they say?" Clint asked from over by the sink, holding a few darts himself.

"He's fixated on the missiles, but the codes are constantly being changed," Fury replied, obviously perplexed by that.

"By whom?" Tony asked, turning all of his attention to the conversation at hand seeing as he'd just lost the game to Terra. "Good game, Earthy," he said as an aside.

Terra gave the thumbs up to Tony and leaned against the wall, hands in her sweater pockets.

"Parties unknown," Fury said, obviously not liking that there was a secret out there he couldn't find.

Past both Tony and Terra, three darts whizzed past and all landed on the bulls-eye. When he got a confused glance, he merely just shrugged his shoulders with a cheeky smile.

"Do we have an ally," Natasha asked.

It was the first time she spoke, and it was still a bit restrained.

"Ultron's got an enemy, that's not the same thing," Fury said skeptically, unwilling to trust an unknown variable. "Still, I'd pay folding money to know who it is."

"I might need to visit Oslo," Tony said, dragging himself into the kitchen and better lighting. Steve and Bruce looked over at him curiously, both wondering at his use of the word "I". "I need to find our unknown."

"Well, this is good times boss," Natasha said dryly, knowing that this conversation led nowhere.

He had information that led nowhere, stuff they already knew basically. Ultron was out there and stealing stuff for his plans, trying to get the nukes. Stuff they figured out the first night he attacked.

"But I was kinda hoping when I saw you, you'd have more than that," Natasha finished, looking at him with a sarcastic smile.

"I do, I have you," Fury responded, used to Natasha's bite. "Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere, ears everywhere else. Now, here we all are, back on earth, with nothing but our wit, and our will to save the world."

"So stand," he said. "Outwit the platinum bastard."

Natasha couldn't help herself as she turned to Steve and she spoke to him for the first time, since their conversation outside the house. "Steve doesn't like that kind of talk," she said, trying to break the ice.

His face broke into a kind of half-smile. "You know what, Romanoff?" He let the question hang there, a teasing threat, letting the next phrase go unspoken. It was a hint at future time together. A hint that their relationship wasn't over. But now wasn't the time to discuss.

Fury took a seat at the kitchen table, folding his hands across the table. "So what does he want?"

Steve gave it some thought. He came up with: "To become better; better than us. He keeps building bodies."

"Person-bodies," Tony corrected. "The human form is inefficient. Biologically-speaking we're outmoded but he keeps coming back to it."

Bruce got up and started to walk around and ended up behind Natasha. He looked over her shoulder and was staring at the picture that Lila had drawn for Natasha.

"When you guys programmed him to protect the human race, you amazingly failed," Natasha said, more to Bruce than to Tony.

She felt like she could maybe joke a bit more with Bruce, because at least he acknowledged that they messed up the first night, as opposed to Tony who had yet to say anything about his mistake to her or the rest of the team. He was continuing to hold on to the fact that he was right in some cases.

"They don't need to be protected," Bruce murmured, touching the drawing gently. "They need to evolve."

The blood seemed to slowly drain from Tony's face.

"Ultron's going to evolve," Bruce reiterated.

"How?" Fury demanded.

"Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?" Bruce asked, and at that point, Natasha also put the pieces together.

A/N

There you guys go, another chapter! The team recoops at the Barton farm and figure out Ultron's endgame, slight pun intended lol

As always chapter contributions go to A Velvet Rose and SarahCon