Ch.17

The following day Saix watched as Roxas and Xion went on their mission together. Axel made no comments to them with verbal words though, he only sent his untrusting glares. Though glares also ended being applied to Saix as well. When he went to get his mission, Axel stared coldly into Saix's eyes. He could see them trying to read into his own, trying to figure out what possibly could be hidden.

Saix never let up though, not one single bit. It was hard though, he knew Axel was not easily gubile to so easily believe the ploy he was playing. He remained calm and poised and took the mission sheet from Axel before disembarking as quickly as he could. He knew if he stalled or waited, that would be what would make Axel start to talk again.

Thankfully he never did speak up about the subject over the next few days. Much to Saix's surprise Axel never once gave any further comments than he did the first day when suggesting Roxas and Xion work together. It all was going smoothly so far, but that didn't mean Saix could rest yet. He knew Axel would say something about it soon… his silence was all part of his planning. He was only waiting… waiting for the right moment to say something again.

Sure enough in the following days, Axel finally came up to Saix before he was able to ask about his mission. "So just how long do you think you can pull this off?"

"You will need to be more clear. I have no idea what you think I am trying to 'pull off' in any matter," Saix replied.

"With the little zombies. Having them work together for the past several days. What's your goal with it?"

"Aren't they proving to be stronger together than apart? I think while others may think of it as a waste, it is proving to be quite beneficial."

Axel scoffed. "All right fine, I will give you that. Having them together has proved better for them than apart. But they can't just baby each other the entire time. There are still plenty of Heartless out there that need to be taken care of."

"And they will take care of it, even if they are working together. Even though they are keyblade wielders, teamwork is important."

"Unless the other one ends up failing and it drags you down in the end," Axel commented. "I will continue to let them work together. But if I see any slip up in their work, that's it. Or maybe if i just feel like screwing with them haha. Watch their fake shock as I tell them they can't work together anymore."

Saix breathed in slowly, trying to ignore the obvious bait that Axel was using. He wanted him to argue… he wanted him to be tempted to tell the reasoning behind the plan. There was no way he would let him get under his skin like that.

"But as you stated before, it has been more beneficial for them to work together. Haven't we collected more hearts than before?"

"Yeah but that is cause they are both actually here and functional as best as a zombie can. Before it was either full on zombie annoyances, or was one sleeping or the other missing."

"I wish you would stop referring to them as zombies. While yes they have acted like that in their early days, they are far past that point."

Axel rolled his eyes. "I would if I could just think of a perfect nickname for each of them. I still got 'mask head; for Xion, but nothing good for Roxas. It's actually proving to be quite the challenge. Not that I oppose a good challenge… I just need something good to call them."

"Or," Saix said, actually making an attempt to interject. "You could call them by their actual names and leave it at that."

"But there's no fun in that," Axel groaned.

Saix decided to push it a little further, just to see where it would go. "But you don't have a nickname for me, the Superior, or even Xigbar."

"Well," Axel said, his eyes narrowing. He held out the mission report for Saix to take. "You better not give me any reason to give you one if you are so worried about it."

Saix breathed out slowly before taking the sheet of paper. He turned and headed off without a word more. The conversation was going to get him nowhere no matter how he would try. Fueling Axel to show his darker tendencies wasn't what he wanted either and he already had the feeling Axel was fairly close.

It annoyed him to no end that he could never get his answers with Axel. It was always one vague or cruel thing after another. Again and Again he was always led back to the same spot where he started… with no further information than he had before. Some days he honestly thought it would be best to give up on the matter, but there was still part of him that persisted. There was still part of him that clung to those old memories from before… wanting what once was.

The days were passing by faster than they had before. Everything had seemingly fallen into an easy line with no disruption. Axel had not gone back to acting on trying to figure out why Saix had insisted Roxas and Xion work together. Though it was clear he still thought it with ever glare and cold stare he gave the blue-haired man.

But it was honestly proving to work better than Saix had thought. Roxas was putting in extra effort for each mission to pass off as if it was really two working, but it was truly showing off. The progress to complete their goal was showing higher than ever and everyone seemed happy with it.

Just about three weeks had passed since the plan had started and Saix now knew that it was truly paying off. They had been called to a very special meeting by Xemnas who was happy, or as happy as the man could seem, to announce that Kingdom Hearts had finally started to form in the sky.

Saix started up at the heart-shaped moon that now hovered in the sky of The World That Never Was. It was truly a sight to behold and still such a surprise that it was even there to begin with. It was what their goal had been from the start. The very goal of the entire organization. But it was far from over, there were still many hearts to collect to truly complete it… but when that time came… they could truly, finally exist.

When Saix returned to the Grey Room to see if he had a mission, he overheard Axel talking to Roxas and Xion before the two of them left for their mission. He stopped himself in front entering the room, trying to stay in the shadow of the hallway. It was childish to think that he was trying to eavesdrop, but he wanted to make sure that Axel wasn't treating either of the young teens harshly when he wasn't around.

"Just cause Kingdom Hearts has started forming, doesn't mean you guys can slack off. Neither of you can. So while it seems your weird little plan is working, I am not going to let you guys think you can take it easy now. I've already dealt with a certain slacker enough times lately. You got that?"

Saix saw the two of them nodded in agreement.

Axel titled his head back and sighed. "You know I need more than just a head nod. Need to make sure you are actually listening to me. So try again."

"We understand," Xion quickly replied.

"Yeah, we're going to keep going at it as best as we can," Roxas added.

"Good, now get going already, you're wasting time."

The two ran off quickly without a word more, not wanting to take any chances. Right after they left, Saix finally decided to make his way into the room. Right away he was met with the usual cold golden eyes.

"And just how long did you think you could stand there?"

Internally Saix sighed and scolded himself for thinking it would have ever worked. Nobodies could sense all the other Nobodies, so hiding was pretty pointless. "I only was curious what you had-"

"Yeah yeah you wanted to make sure I wasn't hurting the 'precious little keyblade wielders' right? You think I am dumb or something? I know that! I am only going to do something if they fail to do what they are told. So far they are being good, so if you are so 'concerned' let's hope it stays that way."

A memory surfaced in the back of Saix's mind. It brought forth other memories of a certain emotion, letting him deeply remember how it was. The memory was none other than disgust. The type of disgust when someone is just truly acting awful. If he was actually able to feel that emotion, he knew he would be sick to his stomach with how disgusted he was.

Instead of letting himself get too buried in the thought of it, he cleared his throat. "Do you have a mission for me today?"

"No, I do not," Axel stated rather blandly. "Lucky you, right?"

"Sure I suppose," Saix said before turning around. If Axel was already acting snippy and harsh at the start of the day, the last thing he wanted was to invoke him further. Without even looking back he started to head out of the room.

"Oh hey! Saix before you go," Axel started to say. "If you happen to find Demyx… tell him I am looking for him."

Saix could have swore he felt actual chills run up his spine, an odd sensation for a Nobody to even have in the first place. "I will do my best." Saix managed before finally leaving the room. It only took him a few moments until he realized just what was going on. Saix was surprised that he had not realized it before… but now it all made sense.

Demyx had not been at the meeting to see Kingdom Hearts, and Axel had just mentioned about a 'certain slacker' giving him trouble. Now Axel was asking Saix to keep an eye out for Demyx? That only left bad thoughts lingering in Saix's mind. Right away Saix picked up his pace and headed towards where the sleeping quarters were in the castle.

While he rarely spoke to Demyx, he never thought poorly of the young man. The guy was lazy yes, but despite that he had a strong enough heart to become a Nobody and join their ranks. That had to account for something over his lack of skills out in the field.

The guy had strong passions from when he was a Somebody and they had clearly carried over into his life as a Nobody. His love for his music was probably one of the main reasons from what Saix could figure.

Overall he was far from a bad person, he was just more cowardly and lazy than the rest of the group. But that never sat well with Axel. This wasn't the first time that Axel had gone out after Demyx, but for some reason today felt much worse than before.

The tone that Axel carried when speaking left much to be desired about the situation. Last time Demyx had gotten Axel upset, he had used his 'light threatening' to burn off Demyx mullet, the poor guy had his hood up for weeks. But he still showed up to the Grey Room and did his missions each day he had them.

Now he wasn't showing up to a very important meeting? Something must have happened and whatever it was did not sit well at all with Saix. None of what Axel did towards the other members ever sat well with him. Even though it never had reached extreme levels, it never seemed out of the question to happen one day.

When Saix reached Demyx's room, he knocked on the door. "Demyx? Are you awake?"

There was no response.

There was the possibility that Demyx was not in fact in his room. He could have been hiding out anywhere else in the castle, but Saix didn't want to rule it out just yet. He knocked again, this time a little harder.

"Demyx, are you in there?"

Still no response came.

Saix was not one to barge into another person's room without warning, but this matter was leaving it to be more concerning than anything. With a deep breath Saix teleported into the room and began to look around. There was no sign of him anywhere within plain sight, but Saix knew better than that. There was always a place to hide somewhere in the room, and the first guess Saix had was the closet.

He walked over there and swung the door open and looked down, and sitting curled up in the corner was none other than Demyx. Saix was actually a bit surprised. He had not actually expected to find him in the closet with his knees brought to his chest and his whole entire body seemingly shaking.

"Demyx?" Saix asked before kneeling down.

"S-Saix?" Demyx whispered. He turned his face to face him and Saix could see the terror that was etched all over his face.

It was still surprising to see such an emotion displayed, but he knew it was all just a part of acting on old memories. But it was displayed more so than what other members would usually do. But Saix figured out that it would make sense the longer he thought about it. If pushed through enough events that normally would emotionally hurt a Somebody, it can bring forth those emotions just as strong even if they weren't able to feel it.

"What happened, Demyx?"

Demyx opened his mouth, ready to speak, but only a series of panicked breathed came through instead. His body trembled and his eyes went wide, fixating on the floor before. Right away Saix placed one hand on Demyx's back and the other on his knees.

"Demyx, I want you to breathe. Slow deep breaths with me now, okay?" Saix instructed instinctively.

Demyx whimpered, showing some sign of acknowledgement but other than that there was nothing else.

"Breathe on the count of three, okay? Deep breaths… one… two… three… breathe in…" he breathed in deeply himself while he waited for Demyx to copy him.

A beat later Demyx did as Saix did, though his deep breath was shaky and far too quiet. But it was a step forward at least. After that Saix did the same as before but told Demyx to breath out, and he complied. They did this breathing several times until the shaking in Demyx's body went away and he could properly focus on Saix.

"Ah… S-Saix…" though his breathing had finally returned to a calmer state, his tone proved that whatever had happened still left him nervous. "What happened?"

"It looked like you were having a panic attack," Saix replied.

"But I thought Nobodies couldn't really do that stuff… I mean everything was a blur and I thought I was freaking out… but I wasn't really feeling it, you know?"

"Yes, that can happen with us. We cannot feel that emotion, but our bodies and minds still remember how to react."

"Oh… Um… well thank you for helping…" Demyx replied before sighing.

"Come, let's get you off the floor and to your bed at least. Do you think you can stand up?"

"Not sure…" Demyx said as he gently went to rub his left hand.

Saix held out a hand to Demyx. "Let's try then."

Demyx almost reached out with his left hand. He hesitated before switching to hold onto Saix with his right. A moment later Saix pulled him up to his feet only to have him nearly collapse back to the ground. Saix wrapped his other hand around him before he could fall and pulled him back up onto his feet. With giving him as much support as he could, they started to walk over to the bed as Demyx mainly leaned against Saix gripping onto his hand tightly with only his right hand.

As soon as Demyx was sat down on the bed, Saix walked over to the window and leaned against it. "Can you tell me what happened that caused this attack? If it is too much for you just let me know."

Demyx shuddered before staring down at his left hand. "I… I upset Axel a little too much…"

Saix raised an eyebrow. "Too much? Demyx… what did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything!" Demyx retorted. "I mean… okay yeah I was backing off how much I had to get done lately… But he was making me do all this fighting! Everyone knows that I hate to fight. You get all sweaty and it's gross and-"

"Demyx."

"Sorry sorry… but yeah I admit I wasn't doing all of what Axel told me. But I thought it was fine since Roxas and Xion had been working so hard with collecting all those hearts. Thought it wouldn't matter if I did less, it isn't like you or me or anyone but those two can actually collect those hearts."

"So you slacked off… and Axel…" Saix couldn't find the words to finish. He already assumed enough, but he hadn't gotten the true point of it yet. That point was only something Demyx could tell him, and he had to wait until the man felt ready.

"H-He… he came to yell at me last night. Scolding me for being the worst slacker. Even going far enough to say that he would turn me into a Dusk but since we were low on numbers since Castle Oblivion he wouldn't. But he said he was very close to just doing it anyways…"

Demyx swallowed deeply before staring off to the corner of his room. "He just kept getting angry. I tried to get him off my back, but then… h-he…"

"Demyx, I said it already, if it is too hard for you, you do not have to tell me right now."

"No… I gotta tell someone… There's no reason to be afraid of explaining it…" Demyx sighed before raising his left hand. "Out of nowhere… he just grabbed my hand. Squeeze it and I don't remember much else… I think I musta blacked out from the pain."

Without warning Saix stepped forward and held onto Demyx's wrist. He pulled off the glove and looked at what was underneath. Now he was no doctor, he had no medical history or anything in the matter, but he could tell that the hand was swollen.

"Why haven't you healed it?"

"I was in a panic attack dude!" Demyx exclaimed. "That was the last thing that came to mind!"

Knowing it was not best to press Demyx on the matter, Saix filled all his concentration into a healing spell. Green light surrounded the hand and the swelling seemed to go down. After that Saix reached into his pocket and pulled out a regular potion.

"You should be lucky that I always carry a potion on me at all times," Saix said before holding it out to Demyx.

Demyx reached out to grab it with his left hand. Right as he tried to wrap his fingers around it, he grimaced and dropped his hand to his side. A defeated look crept into his face before he took the potion with his right hand.

"You shouldn't try and use it right away. Healing with magic and potions can only do so much. Mainly it just needs time to heal on its own with proper care."

"How come you know all of this?" Demyx asked after he finished taking a sip from the potion. "And why are you wanting to help me so much? I don't get it. You like never want anything to do with the other members. Always Mr. quiet and distant and stuff."

"Hmph," Saix narrowed his eyes at him. "I may not be the most sociable in the Organization, but it doesn't mean I won't help another member."

"Oh… sorry, didn't mean to call you that name then."

"And to answer your other question, I did study about the human anatomy for sometime before I was a Nobody."

Demyx's eyes lit up a little. "Wow really? Never would have guessed."

"Furthermore, if you didn't heal your hand it would only get worse… and you know that Axel would not tolerate a setback like a broken hand," Saix paused, catching himself over what he was saying. "Even if he was the one to cause it."

Demyx flinched at the meer mentioning Axel's name. The hand may have been pretty much healed, but the memories in the mind could never heal. They would always be there… burned into the mind to taunt and haunted.

Once Demyx finished off the potion he slowly tested moving his fingers. There was still pain etched in his face when he tried to close his hand or even just tried to move one finger to touch his palm. He frowned heavily. "This really sucks…"

"Maybe next time you shouldn't slack off as much. You have been here long enough to know Axel… doesn't tolerate much."

"Well Axel shouldn't kick me around so much! He treats me like complete trash."

Saix sighed. "I cannot argue against that. Axel… I will agree comes off far too harsh most of the time."

"Try all of the time…" Demyx muttered. "He always puts me down and never once has done anything to encourage me. Even when I am really trying at like a recon, he still just scoffs at my efforts."

"I wish there was something I could do. Honest. But trying to get through Axel… I've tried…" Saix tried off, his eyes growing distant from the thoughts building in his mind.

"Yeah…" Demyx agreed softly, not exactly catching onto Saix's distance look. Suddenly Demyx jumped up to his feet. "Wait! No!"

Right away, Demyx ran over to his dresser and started to look though things. Eventually he dropped to his knees to the little trashcan next to the dresser. "No… N-No…" his voice was weak, so soft it could hardly be heard.

"Demyx? What's the matter?"

"There was more Axel did… I just remembered now that I had time to think… I thought I just dreamt it thought. I was pleading that I was dreaming about it…"

"What did he do?" Saix asked as he walked over to where the blond stood.

Reaching into the trash can, Demyx pulled out something black. Upon looking farther, Saix saw it wasn't black… it was charred. Whatever it was had been burned.

"My notebook… with some of my greatest song ideas… gone…" Demyx mumbled as he tried to open the burned book. Though it was a bit hard to open it and turn the pages, there was nothing salvageable. Every page was shriveled and burned black to a crisp. The only semi-sturdy part was the cover, but even that had been burnt beyond recognition.

"I can't just rewrite them either…" Demyx continued to mumble. Saix let him do it anyways, seeing that the guy really needed to get it out. "These were songs that just hit me in the moment… can't recreate them. But now…" Demyx stared long and hard at his left hand again. "I'm not even sure I would be able to even play properly anymore… I'm sure Axel did that on purpose…"

When Demyx stood back up Saix reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. "Demyx, you will be all right. There could have been far worse things that Axel could have done."

"I don't know what's worse than this… it was my thing. My precious thing that meant everything to me. My songs… they're everything to me. I was going to publish them once I was a Somebody again."

"I know that you cannot recreate those that came in the spur of the moment. But Demyx, I know you can create more. You may not be fitted for the battle field, but I know what field you are fitting for. That field would be music. You strum and play that sitar of yours in the Grey Room everyday and you actually manage to use it when you have to fight. No one else can say that they have that ability."

Demyx chuckled slowly. "Thanks… You're right. I do have some pretty cool skills. And!" he whipped around to now smile at Saix. "I got control over the Dancer Nobodies. They're musically inclined too! Only listen to the one and only me of course."

"There you go," Saix replied. "Just give yourself sometime and you will have a whole new array of songs."

"Thanks Saix, you know you are a really good person to talk to. Ever thought about becoming a therapist?"

"I have never considered the thought, I am still not the most sociable person, remember?"

"But that's the thing! A therapist is just one on one! And you really know how to talk to make someone feel better. You just got those words that just make everything seem more clear and understandable."

"I suppose so…" Saix trailed off. He thought back to when he had talked to the Riku replica back at Castle Oblivion. Just like now, he had talked and said what was on his mind, and it ended up being quite beneficial. Maybe Demyx had a point after all… a very strange thought for sure.

"But ya know if I could ask you for one more thing… what am I going to do now? I mean I gotta face Axel, don't I? What if he… if he does… or isn't happy with-"

"I will go with you. I will make sure he doesn't go any further with this," Saix replied.

"You mean it?"

"Of course," Saix replied. "Now let's go and see what he has to say. We will get this over as quickly as possible."

"O-Oh… right."

The two of them exited the room and headed down to the Grey Room. When they got there, Axel looked up from papers and chuckled at the sight he saw before him. "So the little coward was too scared to come to me on his own? Should have figured."

"He would not have reason to act scared if you had not gone out and actually broke his hand," Saix said taking a defensive stand in front of Demyx.

"You're going to start defending him now? You going to defend everyone on how they work? You can get away with helping the little zombies to work better together, but you can't just try to make up excuses for all the others."

"You broke his hand," Saix said, not wanting to play any games with Axel this time around.

"So? It got healed right? He isn't completely broken or dead now is he?" Axel began to laugh. "As long as he can still function at the end of the day it doesn't matter what happens, just as long as he doesn't end up being a complete failure."

Saix breathed in. He needed to remain calm. Letting himself into agitation was the last thing he wanted to happen. His memories of anger and frustration were still the easiest way to accidently trick him mind into triggering his berserker mode. That was the last thing he needed right now… but seeing Axel say those things, it was almost to the point where Saix wanted to slap him. But without the true anger in a heart that he no longer had, he didn't do it.

"What did you need Demyx for? Are you seriously going to have him go out on a mission today after what you did?"

Axel scoffed, annoyance settling into his face. "I'm not dumb, that wouldn't be very tactical or beneficial. I only wanted to talk with Demyx. Make sure he knows what he did and that he won't do it again. And… I want to hear it from him, not you."

Saix breathed in slowly. He tried his best to read into Axel's eyes but he was only met with coldness. Slowly Saix stepped aside, but did not go any further with it. Demyx turned to give hima wide and worried look, but Saix closed his eyes and shook his head. "Just give him what he wants to know."

"Yeah, just listen to 'Mother Saix' and everything will be all right," Axel taunted curedly.

"So much for never having a nickname… I suppose it was only a matter of time."

"I won't try and slack anymore, okay?" Demyx sputtered out quickly.

"You are going to have to try better than just trying not to slack," Axel grumbled.

"Fine!" Demyx shouted. "I won't slack! I will not slack anymore. There! You happy?"

"Passible attempt so fine, that's all I needed. Now get out of here already, I have more important things to attend to."

Demyx sighed heavily, clear relief written all over his face. He turned around and sped walked out of the room as fast as he could all with Saix quietly walking behind. After they were farther enough from the Grey Room, Demyx let out a much more audible sigh.

"Whew! That was seriously too much. I totally thought he was going to attack us or even you were going to go after him. Looked like for a moment you wanted to rip his head off."

Saix stiffened. "I wouldn't put it quite like that."

"How can Xemnas let him get away with saying and doing stuff like that though? You think he would give a bit more concern that his 2nd in command is attacking other members."

"I do not know what Xemnas makes of all of this. It is too hard to read the man anyway."

"Yeah… I guess you got a point about that…" Demyx turned to look down the hallway. "Guess I gotta find something to do… maybe I can figure out something to write. Doubt I will get much, my right hand doesn't have the neatest penmanship…"

Softly Saix hummed to himself, mulling over the situation. He almost found it strange that he kept ending up in strange instances like this one. It felt him with the faint and strange sensation of things he knew from the past. Things that were now second nature to him. It was just all basic instinct that was built into his mind now, whether there was feeling or not.

"Demyx, how about something different? I think you need to get yourself out for some fresh air."

"Ah? You think so? But I have no idea where to even go."

"I have an offer for you then, you don't have to take it, but you are more than invited to join me, Roxas, and Xion for ice cream in Twilight Town."

"Whoa what? Ice cream? That… that actually sounds really nice right now!" Demyx shouted, suddenly switching his mood to something much more cheerful. "You serious though? I wouldn't be imposing or anything?"

"No, I am inviting you after all. It would not be imposing in the slightest. So do you want to come?"

"I think so," Demyx said as he nodded. "Thanks Saix, seriously man, I never expected this from you. You are the last person I ever thought would be good at reaching out to help others."

"You'd be surprised what people hid from others, there is always a lot more hidden than just what you see on the outside," Saix replied. "Now come, let's head out there, Roxas and Xion should be done with their mission soon enough."

So no secret reports/journals for this chapter obvious, but that will be for the next time! Either way yeah, I had no idea how this got to be such a long chapter but I hope all of you enjoy!

Thank you all once again for your great support through reviews or talking out the story with me. Every little bit means so much!