I RETURN EVERYONE! I Found my inspiration again for this fic and I am ready to roll!

Ch.23

The days without Saix were a real drag again. Just like the last time he was gone, things just weren't the same for Roxas and Xion. But Roxas knew that he had to carry on no matter what, even if the missions did seem to drag sometimes. Though, it did prove to be interesting as he visited the various worlds, learning more things than he had the last time.

Still at the end of every day, he would go to meet up with Xion and have ice cream with her. That at least was able to stay consistent even with Saix being gone again. Roxas kept the hope though that Saix would return soon so things could go back to the way they were, and he could stop having this feeling that things weren't complete unless the three of them were together.

Soon the days started to blur together as more and more passed by. Before Roxas even realized it, it was his 149th day in the Organization, and that meant it had been 31 days since Saix left again. He still wasn't back and now there was a rumor of an imposter who wore the Organization cloak.

Roxas had no care to think about that. An imposter wasn't his problem after all, he had other things he had to worry about. He had his mission for the day to take care of, which this time led him to the weird world of Halloween Town. It was as strange as expected, and soon enough he had finished up before heading out to the clock tower.

He was the first to arrive this time between him and Xion, but he decided to start into his ice cream as he waited. He wasn't going to let it start melting after all, that would've been wasteful.

As he ate, he suddenly heard footsteps from behind him. He turned to the side and gasped as he saw a familiar face standing next to him. "Saix!"

"Hello Roxas, I hope I'm not too late for ice cream."

"No way! You're just in time! But you're here! You're back!"

Saix nodded as he sat down. "Yes, I arrived back just moments ago."

He sat back down and began to eat the ice cream he had brought with him. "Tell me, how has it been for you?"

"It's been going well, but the days just felt like they went on forever. So much of the same with my missions."

"I can understand. The longer you do it, the more it feels like just a routine to become stuck in. But tell me, where's Xion? Shouldn't she be here by now?"

Roxas nodded. "She should be… but she isn't here yet. This isn't like her, the missions she doesn't shouldn't take this long."

"Perhaps something came up," Saix said. "Or maybe she was tired after a long mission."

"I guess so…"

"We shall give her time. If she needs a day of rest, then that would make sense."

Roxas hummed in agreement, though he really wasn't sure what to think. The two of them ate the rest of their ice cream after that, with Xion never showing up for the rest of the evening. Roxas was happy that Saix had returned, but without Xion it didn't feel complete.

Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 149

Today's mission took me to a new world. It was a weird place. I was up on the clock tower afterwards when Saix turned up after being away forever. He said he finished that long mission. But this time Xion didn't show.

I was gonna give Saix that WINNER stick, but I should wait until I get another one. It wouldn't be fair to leave Xion out. I hope that I can do it soon.

Secret Report: Saix

Returning from my mission proved to be no different than the last. I am filling out my report, but there won't be much else to report on. Things at least haven't spiraled out it seems. That much I can be thankful for. Though I am concerned that Xion didn't show today, considering Roxas said that every other day had been fine. Perhaps I will try to talk to her tomorrow if given the chance.

The following morning, Roxas got up and headed down towards the Grey Room for his mission for the day. As he walked through Twilight's View he heard Xion's voice cry out from above him.

"P-Please! You have to give me another chance!"

Roxas looked up and saw that in the area above him, Axel was gripping both of Xion's wrist, towering over her as he glared down. "Honestly, you think at this point I'd actually give you another chance? Are you that broken?"

He released Xion and started to walk away. "This isn't worth my time right now… otherwise I would make sure to deal with you more properly. You were just a mistake we never should have made. A pathetic mistake."

He marched away briskly, and once he was out of sight, Roxas made his way over to Xion. She was just pushing herself up to her feet when he approached her. He called out to her, asking if she was okay, but she didn't answer him, instead running off without a word.

Roxas could only stand there, looking perplexed. He didn't understand Xion's actions. He knew Axel could be mean and scary, but he wasn't what caused her to be yelled at by him. None of it was adding up for him, and he didn't find any answers as he walked down to the Grey Room.

"Guess I will have to try and ask Saix after my mission if I can."

Later on, after his mission, Roxas headed to the clock tower and waited for Saix to arrive. He was still thinking about the encounter he had seen this morning. He really wanted to tell Saix what he had seen, but for some reason when he thought of how he would tell him, all his thoughts came to a stop. All he could think about was Axel finding out and coming to find him for revealing what he had said to Xion.

He shuddered at the thought of Axel doing something again. He wasn't sure what Axel would do next, but the thought that it would harm him was enough to deter him from asking Saix right from the start. He would get to it today, but maybe not start off the conversation with it.

When Saix came, he sat down and began by asking that very thing though. The one thing that Roxas wasn't ready to answer.

"Xion hasn't come. I didn't see her this morning, but did you?"

"I um… I saw her in the morning, but not later."

Saix raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know… but I have a different question I want to ask first."

"Then go right ahead."

"Is there anything you couldn't bear to lose?"

Saix's usual calm eyes seemed to widen slightly. It was barely anything, but to Roxas, he could see it. Saix rarely had anything close to a shocked expression. "Now why would you ask something like that? Did something happen today?"

"I ran into somebody today, and... Well, he had something like that. Something so important to him he couldn't bear to lose it. Why don't I have anything like that?"

"Hmm it may be hard for me to explain. The subject matter isn't the easiest, but the best way I can explain it is a sense of an emotion that causes a person to feel that way."

"And I don't have a heart… so I can't feel that way right?"

Saix hummed. "It may be, but even without the emotion, we still can learn to understand what that feeling is like."

"Is it like.. Maybe like how Demyx would be upset if you took his sitar away?"

Saix tilted his head to the side, looking rather thoughtful in the moment. "In a way I can see how you may think that. Still without the true emotion from a heart, it is all but an act for us. But I do recall in my past where I had that feeling."

Roxas slumped his shoulders. "Guess it makes it hard for me cause I don't remember my past."

"It doesn't always have to be the past," Saix explained. "It could even be the present. As long as you have something you know matters to you, then even without a heart you know you wouldn't want to lose that."

As always, Saix was saying just the right things that got Roxas thinking. He started to think about the present and just what could 'matter to him' so much that he would hate to lose it if he had the capability to do so. Then two things came to mind right away and he formed a small smile.

"So would spending time with you and Xion count?"

Saix nodded. "That would be something that you would always want to keep a hold on."

"I'd hate to lose the memories we have together. It's… it's a scary thought to think."

"Fear is a natural instinct in those who have hearts. A strong emotion that can make them wary to conquer or face certain things. It seems even without your past memories, you can recall what an emotion must be and how it would make you react," Saix replied as he finished up his ice cream.

"Really? You think so?"

"I believe so, yes."

Roxas smiled again. "Well I'm glad then I could be remembering something."

"Now was there something else you wanted to tell me? Something about Xion?"

Roxas had almost forgotten about that. He still had his thoughts about Xion and if she was okay. He still had no idea what to do about it, but he thought it would be best to try and let Saix know.

"Well when I saw her this morning… she was with Axel, and he was… well he wasn't being nice."

Saix's eyebrows raised as he leaned forward. "Did he hurt her at all?"

"I don't think so… just was holding her wrists. He did that to me once. It hurt a little, but it was only a little sore after," Roxas explained.

"When was this? I don't recall seeing that ever happen."

Roxas looked down at his ice cream, taking the last bite of it before he continued. "It was when you were at Castle Oblivion and we were hearing that someone had been terminated. I asked Axel some questions, but he just got mad and grabbed my wrist, scolding me…"

Sitting up straight, Saix stared out at the sunset. "I suppose I should try talking to Axel. His behavior towards other members isn't really mature."

"You think you could do something?"

"I've failed in the past, but I can try again."

"And Xion?"

"If I can see her later, I will attempt to talk to her. But for now, rest your mind, you'll have another long day tomorrow."

"Right yeah… thanks Saix."

"Of course."

Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 150

Xion didn't come to the clock tower again today. She and Axel had some kind of argument… and he was pretty cold towards her.

Saix and I talked for a while about the things we can't bear to lose. He helped me understand the concept better. He said that even if I couldn't remember my past, I had the idea of what it felt like to be afraid of losing something. Even if I can't remember my past, I learned I could be afraid, as a Nobody can, about losing Saix or Xion. The thought of losing them… it still scares me, even if I can't feel scared.

Secret Report: Saix

I fear that Axel is getting out of hand again. If he is attempting to harm others again, I may have to take this up with Xemnas. Surely he would not allow this to happen if he was made aware of it. But the thought that Axel is targeting Xion still concerns me. He calls her 'Puppet' now and he really seems to enjoy the word… I still feel he knows more than he cares to explain to me. There is much more to this I have yet to figure out…