Holding You

Chapter 3

Merle climbed down out of the RV and immediately started looking for RickyJo. But it was his second favorite person that came streaking towards him with his little arms open. Merle swept the boy up off the ground and swung him around in a circle. MJ shrieked in delight. Merle shifted the boy around in his arms, sliding his bad arm under his butt to support his weight. Then he looked in the direction the boy had come from, expecting to see his mother. But instead, Daryl was heading in his direction.

"She's soaking in the tub with her headphones on," Daryl informed him. Merle nodded, grateful for the explanation as to why he wasn't receiving a welcome home greeting. Daryl had already hurried away and was eagerly peeking into the large livestock trailer.

"New horses," Daryl said with some excitement before moving down to look in at the rest of the animals. MJ heard his uncle and began pointing towards the trailer chanting. HORSIE! HORSIE! Merle headed that way, lifting the boy up so he could get a better look at the animals. BIG HORSIE! The boy pointed at one of the large cows inside.

"No, that's a cow," Merle informed the boy. The boy repeated the unfamiliar word a few times, getting used to the feel of it. He pointed at the large animal again, this time repeating the new word and looking at Merle to confirm he was correct. "That's right." MJ smiled and clapped his little hands together. Whenever he did anything even halfway correct, RIckyJo clapped her hands like crazy at the little terrorist and so he had taken to appluading himself whenever he felt like he was doing a good job at something. He cracked Merle up.

"I got a better name for 'em," Daryl announced, "...Steak!" Merle pointed Daryl towards the RV. They didn't need to shoot these cows. He already shot that big bull. Daryl wasted no time, climbing inside the RV and returning with a large side of beef. They walked back to the house together, chatting a little. Merle let him know about the bikers they ran into on the way back from the run, who were all dead. And Daryl let him know what happened in town while he was gone, which was really nothing out of the ordinary.

They dropped the beef off in the kitchen, leaving it in Jessica's custody. Judith was sitting in front of the TV watching the same silly cartoon movie that both her and MJ seemed to favor. Merle set the boy down so he could scamper over and plop down on the floor next to the girl. Then he headed for the stairs. Merle was a little surprised when Daryl followed after him up the steps. They didn't have any sort of formal arrangement. But usually whoever had just come back home from a run, especially an overnight run, was granted some alone time.

When they entered the bedroom, Daryl headed straight for his dresser and started rifling through his drawers. So Merle shrugged it off, guessing Daryl must have just come upstairs behind him because he was getting something from the bedroom. Merle rapped softly on the bathroom door before pushing it open and stepping inside.

RickyJo was wrapped in a towel. She was sitting on the edge of the tub, combing her hair out. But when she saw him her face lit up in a big smile. She jumped up and wrapped her arms around him.

"I didn't even know you were back," she gushed, "I was in here havin' a soak." She kissed him hard on the mouth, parting his lips with her tongue.

"Brought ya somethin'," he told her, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a necklace he took from the bunker Carl found under the barn. It caught his eye because the large stone hanging from the slim gold chain was dark green. Like the color of her eyes. RickyJo took it, fastening the clasp around her neck before she turned towards the mirror to see how it looked on her. When she turned back, she pulled at the corner of her towel, letting it drop to the floor near her bare feet.

"How does it look on me," she teased, tossing her damp hair behind her shoulders and posing naked with her hand on her hip. Merle laughed as he grabbed her around the waist and started walking backwards out of the bathroom, towards the bed. When he felt the bed behind him he turned and set her down on top of the blankets. RickyJo relaxed back onto the bed, winking at him and parting her thighs. It was then that Merle saw it.

There were bruises up and down the crease of her thighs and the flesh between her legs looked raw and red and angry. Merle jerked up to his full height. He could feel the anger swelling up inside him.

"What the hell did ya do to her," he hollered at Daryl, who was knelt down searching the bottom drawer of his dresser. Daryl didn't even bother to stand up.

"I didn't do that shit!," Daryl hollered back, "...her and Jessica did that stupid shit to each other!" Merle realized that RickyJo had come up off the bed. She was gripping his arm, afraid he was going to have a go at Daryl. Merle turned to her for an explanation.

"Uh…," RickyJo stammered. She already got the business from Daryl. And since Jessica was burnt up worse than she was, Morgan yelled at both of them. And threw their wax pot away. "Jess found this wax pot thing. And we thought we would give each other Brazilian waxes. You know …so we wouldn't have to shave for a while. But I think the wax was turned up a little too hot."

"Ya think?," Daryl quipped. Her pussy looked like raw meat. And as he had seen Jessica with a sunburn before, he could only imagine what hers looked like. It had to be even worse.

"Lemme see," Merle said, pointing her back towards the bed. RickyJo sat down, parting her legs a little more hesitantly now and giving him a sheepish grin. Merle was planning to make a joke out of the situation. Clearly, she wasn't actually hurt. But she was probably sore and maybe needed a kiss to feel better. But when Merle leaned forward and saw the bruises he started to feel light headed. All he could think about was the last time she was bruised there. And then the images started coming before he could stop them. The governor on top of her. Cutting her and burning her. Making her scream.

"Oh fuck!," RickyJo hollered. She grabbed Merle before he could drop to the floor, grateful when Daryl shouldered in on the other side. Together they got him turned around and sat him down on the edge of the bed. RickyJo put her hand on Merle's back, guiding him so that he was leaning forward with his forearms resting on his legs.

"Should I go get Rosita?," Daryl asked. RickyJo shook her head and yanked on a t-shirt to cover herself.

"He's alright," she said, "he's having a panic attack."

RickyJo rushed to her closet, and got up on her tiptoes. She pulled a stack of clothes down, letting them scatter onto the floor at her feet. Behind them was a bottle of whisky that Daryl was not aware she had hidden away. She snagged it, then headed for her dresser and yanked the top drawer open. Behind and under her things, she had a large pill bottle, Also hidden. Daryl knitted his eyebrows together. How much shit does she have squirreled away in here? RickyJo shook out one white rectangular tablet into her palm. Crossing the room, she held her hand out so that the pill was in Merle's line of sight. He was quick to snatch it up and toss it into his mouth. Then she handed him the whisky, only letting him get a few swallows down before she took it back. Daryl was a little angry at first. He didn't like RickyJo hiding shit from him. But that feeling quickly gave way to something else. When Merle looked ready to pass out, RickyJo sprung into action immediately. Like she knew exactly what was happening and what to do about it.

"Has this happened before?," Daryl asked. RickyJo nodded as she quickly returned the pills and the liquor back to her hiding places.

"It's been a while," she said, sitting down on the bed next to Merle and rubbing her hand gently over his back. Daryl felt bad for his brother. He supposed in theory, he knew that PTSD was a thing and that they all probably had it. But Merle was tough as nails. It felt odd seeing him in such a vulnerable state. Daryl sat down on his other side and added his hand to RickyJo's rubbing Merle awkwardly between his shoulder blades. RickyJo spoke to the man in a soft soothing tone. I'm so sorry baby. That's right, just breathe nice and slow. In and out. That pill should kick in soon. Everythin' is gonna be alright. Daryl could tell when Merle's breathing finally stopped being fast and shallow. He sucked in a few deep slow breaths and finally seemed to become aware of his surroundings.

"Want me to get MJ so you can hold 'im?," RickyJo asked. Merle shook his head.

"Just come 'ere," he rasped, reaching for her. RickyJo climbed onto his lap, her legs stretched across Daryl as well since he was sitting so close. She wrapped her arms around Merle and just held him until she felt his body finally relax.

"You a'right?," Daryl asked, the concern clear in his voice. "Ya scared the shit right outta me man," Daryl added.

"He's fine now," RickyJo said, answering for him. She swung her legs down and wrapped her arm around Merle, guiding him up off the bed and into the bathroom. She turned the shower on first, so the water could warm up. Then she started helping Merle undress.

"A hot shower and then you can lay down while we get dinner ready," she said. "Okay?" Merle nodded and stepped under the warm spray of water. RickyJo backed out of the bathroom, leaving the door cracked so she could listen and make sure he was alright. Daryl was still sitting on the edge of the bed, his face a little paler than usual. She sunk down onto his lap and let him hold her close.

"I had no fuckin' idea," Daryl whispered. "That started after what happened to you?" RickyJo shook her head.

"It got worse after that but it's been years," she whispered back, "...since before the turn." Daryl sucked in his breath. "This one was a lot worse than usual," she added, "...he probably didn't sleep while he was on that run."

"This shits been happening for years?," Daryl asked, "...and you knew?"

The idea that RickyJo and Merle had a relationship that was completely separate from him and unique to them wasn't news to Daryl. But he sometimes felt a little shocked when he found out just how long it had been going on. It didn't start when Merle got her pregnant. Or when they fled the prison group together. It had been going on for years. And Daryl had been totally unaware at the time. He always knew they were friends. But he didn't know they were deepest darkest secrets kind of friends.

"I had a terrible panic attack in my dorm room the night Poppa died," RickyJo told him. "Merle was there when it happened. We talked about it later." RickyJo pressed her lips to Daryl's, kissing him softly. When she pulled back she had a wicked little grin on her face.

"What?," Daryl asked. He could tell by her look she was thinking about something. Another secret. Maybe a naughtier one than the one about Merle's panic attacks.

"That night was the first time we kissed," she admitted. Daryl grunted. That was not the first time they kissed. They kissed lots of times before that. He kissed RickyJo way before she went off to college. She giggled.

"Not you," she added, ticking her head towards the bathroom door.

"Ya fuckin' kissed Merle?," Daryl hissed, "...the night yer Poppa died?" Daryl scrunched up his face as he tried to do math in his head. Her poppa died right after Jessica had her younger daughter. So that was at least ten years ago. Or more. "Gonna kick his ass," Daryl huffed. "Ya been foolin' with him behind my back for ten fuckin' years?," he asked. RickyJo giggled again as she tried to plant a kiss on his lips. But Daryl was leaning his face back and away from her.

"God no," she finally said, "...it was just that one time and then not again until after Mexico."

Daryl seemed satisfied with her answer because he leaned forward and let her kiss him again. RickyJo stroked her hand up his neck, twining her fingers into his hair.

"Jealous?," she teased before she deepened their kiss.

"Always," he told her as he tightened his hold on her.