GOOD TO YOU

•xoxoxo•

Disclaimer: Resident Evil CAPCOM | Plot by whitemaigexxvii | Song © Park Bom / 2NE1

Summary: [AU] Jessica Sherawat: the girlfriend. Jill Valentine: the best friend. The lines were set fear what but it was still breached and pain is just around the corner. RATED M. Valenfield / Sherafield

•xoxoxo•

Author's Note: Whoa! Can you believe how long it took me to finally update? Yes, I know it's been more than a year. Yeah, I can't believe it either. I gravely apologize, I have not forgotten about this story. In fact, I constantly try to update it but I kept hitting a blank wall and just had to shut down my computer and rest my mind. I've been stressing out about a lot of things lately and a lot of things are also keeping my schedule busy. If you remember, I got a job and that made things a whole lot different. Completely different. Sigh. Anyway, I don't want to take your time reading this author's note. I just came back so I'll let you read the story in peace. Don't expect much, though. It's not that long. Gah, I guess I ruined that one for you. I'm so sorry!

•xoxoxo•

CHAPTER V

I guess I was not really the person for you

I couldn't hold back my stupid heart

That pained you

And please don't cry

•xoxoxo•

To say that I am extremely shocked couldn't quite sum up the irony of the whole situation.

How? How did we end up like this? How did I even begin to agree to this?

It all happened so fast I found myself almost casually seated inside a local coffee shop a few blocks away from my real destination with a steaming cup of coffee in my hand and a company I have never expected to share. A person I never dreamt to be with on Christmas Eve, or any other occasion for that matter. I was totally taken aback, shaken by the sudden invitation that even my mind seemed to have forgotten its function as my body moved on its own, too caught up in the moment to make sense of the menace sneaking up on me with each step I took. I only realized the vulnerability I dove, head first, into when I was no longer standing in front of that familiar mahogany door.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any more uncomfortable for me.

I wanted to laugh at my own misfortune as I imagined how interesting this set-up would be if it were playing on a large screen and how much I would pity the woman who would be in my place.

Because in all honesty, who would even want to be in my shoes? Who would want to face a predicament over another with each one far worse than the first? Who would have thought that realizing my feelings and accepting them would trigger a chain reaction that could be the death of my emotions?

I wanted to regret it. I wanted to forget my mistake, take back what has been said, continue to deny what I feel, and conclude that it had been nothing but a dream. A senseless, fucked-up kind of dream.

However, the pain, the sensation, the feel of his skin burning against mine, the pleasure, the mind-numbing lust… the momentary happiness… my unrequited love…

Every feeling, every emotion… they were all real. They run deep, slicing through my tormented humanity. They were too potent, too lethal, it brings me to the conclusion that I could never even begin to deny. The sensation brought forth so many things that filled the hollows that I did not know existed in my heart but at the same time, the truth of not having to feel those things again crushed my being to pieces, making sorrow linger.

All of those were real… I end up wishing that they weren't.

Much like the atmosphere of this place, the tense silence shrouding our booth, the noise of people around us, and the person seated across from me are real, I wish they weren't.

I've never expected this nor did I ever want this but at some point I once hoped that something like this would happen.

We would meet like this—like friends—and look at each other with normalcy instead of that usual animosity switching in automatic whenever we're inside the same place. Like we would bicker and laugh it all off after because there were no daunting barriers hindering us from getting to know each other from the inside out.

However, considering the passionate aversion this person had harbored for me—in which I slowly, but never intentional, learned to reciprocate—was so pungent I had to give up hoping. But, alas, irony has a way of bitching when you've least expected it. So here I am having coffee with the person I grew to dislike so much like nothing's wrong with it.

Like having a Jessica Sherawat stare you down with a blank face is not enough to beacon fresh waves of tears.

Her presence there with me is not a coincidence. And she surely did not insist to have a talk with me just to get to know me more. Jill Valentine, her worst enemy, her competition, her rival.

I was not about to accept it yet. I refuse to accept that fragile voice talking to me, saying that this might be the positive turn I was once praying every night for. No. It sounds so easy and Fate has that crude attitude of bitching with my feelings so succumbing to that idea would be too much of a luxury.

Then what could she probably want from me? A war? We've been waging war—discreetly—for almost a year now. There has to be something brewing beneath that calm exterior, something more sinister.

Chills shot through my spine as faint images of naked bodies intertwining in a lust-filled dance raked the back of my eyelids, so strong that I had to fight my fragile emotions from being exposed to this woman. As I realized this, panic struck my nerves with deadly precision.

Maybe she went through all this trouble because of that?

Does she know?

I held my breath, my mind racing with thoughts jumbling together, quickly turning unreservedly excruciating. Before I knew it, I almost choke on my coffee. I need to calm down. I need to reason with myself. As I clutched my cup, like it was my life line, Jessica calmly placed hers down and threw me a look that was so different, it caught me of guard.

Acceptance.

The emotion was enough to push me off the edge and morphed my thoughts to confusion. Just what the hell is happening?

Seriously, how did things lead to this?

•xoxoxo•

A FEW HOURS EARLIER

•xoxoxo•

JILL NERVOUSLY fiddled with the strap of her sling bag as she sat on the passenger's seat of Carlos's car with great discomfort; briefly holding her breath as her blue eyes caught sight of a very familiar street post from her childhood. As they rounded a corner leading them closer to her inevitable doom, all she could do was suck in a breath and hope that what's happening was only a figment of her stressed mind. But, alas, her fears intensified when Carlos finally pulled over in front of a huge house she had not seen in months. This was what she had been trying to avoid for a week now. She tried and tried to come up with a plausible excuse of skipping their planned gathering but her traitorous brain kept showing her a blank wall.

It was greatly vexing so she stopped thinking and focused herself in gathering her wits; willing herself for the confidence that left her that fateful night. She was hoping then that the confidence she was able to muster for a week would be enough to see the day through with her dignity still intact.

Oh, how wrong she was.

As she stared, in pure daze, at the front porch of the beautiful house, the painful realization of how volatile this confidence of hers was frightened her to a point where she had this strong impulse of shoving her companion off the driver's seat, occupy it herself, and drive off before the owner of the house could ever have the chance to know that she had been there. However, it seemed that her body would not cooperate with what her mind has been screaming at her to do. She is rooted to her seat, body frozen over by unexplainable horror. If the situation were different, if things were still the way there were, she would have felt the eagerness to be where she was at that moment. She would have felt so happy to see the faces she had spent the majority of her childhood and teenage years with. But it pained her to realize that even if the Redfield household still has that same homey feel, her heart broke at the reality that she could no longer feel its warmth, could no longer feel that she was welcomed there.

It's as if she's the odd man out.

She was hoping that her parents would at least be there before her so she would not own the spotlight of a certain matriarch until they arrive. As much as she loved the attention Catharine gives her in every chance the older woman gets, she still thinks that with the circumstances altered so much, it would be beyond uncomfortable.

Come on, Jill. You can do this. You can… Her thoughts stopped, as she doubted. She had never hated being in a tight position… until now.

"Jill?" Carlos' concerned voice pierced through the thick layers of her dark thoughts. And with great reluctance, she turned to him; an apologetic smile plastered on her face. Though thoroughly confused, Carlos offered a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder whilst flashing a friendly smile. "I could spare a few hours and come with you until your parents arrive, if you like."

His offer blew the air out of her lungs as she stared at him, bewildered. For him to offer such a thing when his job that day was to just drop her off—since the route he's taking back to his hometown would pass her destination—made her heart swell with an unknown emotion. Before she knew it, she was already smiling; temporarily forgetting where she was and the issues she had to face later on. She was grateful of Carlos's presence ever since her life plummeted straight into the depths of Hell. He was there for her, no questions asked, no hope of getting something in return.

He was just… there.

She politely shook her head, not wanting to delay him further than she already had. "You don't know how much I appreciate the offer, Carlos. But you giving me a ride was more than enough, really. Besides, there's a place you needed to be, right?"

He flashed a toothy grin; his blue eyes displaying their usual mischief. "It could wait. Just say the word and I'll do it for you."

A joyous laugh echoed inside the enclosed car. It was a sound she had not made ever since that incident with Chris and quite honestly, she missed laughing. She missed the feeling of just being herself and thinking nothing but the now. She missed the light feeling in her chest and the carefree flow of her thoughts. It was funny, really. She had never expected Carlos's—of all people—flirtatious teasing to have such soothing effects on her and it made her wonder how long it would take before she fell for him.

Don't be ridiculous, Jill.

She brushed the reprimanding voice inside her head and entertained the question of 'what if'. What if she does fall in love with Carlos? What if she somehow learn to?

What if Chris wasn't the one but instead it's the man seated beside her, making her smile and laugh amidst the emotional tempest she had been facing alone?

Why can't she just forget about her unrequited love and fall in love with someone else? Someone far better and who'd take good care of her heart?

Someone like Carlos?

Carlos had been good to her all this time. So what is there to not like about him?

What's wrong with him?

You know there's nothing wrong with him. It's all you, Jill.

Questions upon questions started to flood in as she stared at the man. A small part of her wanted to test the waters just so she could answer the questions. However, the other part—the sensible part—says she's better off not knowing; because if things don't blend well in their relationship, she'd risk breaking a great man's heart. Carlos does not deserve that, not in a million years.

"I'll be sure to take the offer when it presents itself in the future. But right now, you really need to get going." She smiled and gathered all her things.

"I'll be looking forward to that, babe."

With another laugh, Jill playfully swatted his arm before unbuckling her seatbelt. "Sure, but only if you have a safe trip. Take care, okay?"

His reassuring nod was her cue to step out of the car, the biting chill of December's air making her shiver. She hugged her coat tighter around her body as she reached to close the door only to stop midway, remembering something of importance. Her hand instantly dug through her bag, fishing a small box wrapped in a golden wrapper.

Grinning from ear to ear, she pushed the gift towards him with a look of mild amusement in his eyes. When his hand finally took the humble gift, his amusement morphed into something else. Disbelief was written all over his face as he gazed at her.

"It's the only thing I could offer for now. When I get rich, I'll treat you to Vegas."

This time it was his turn to laugh. "You didn't have to bother, Jill. Damn, you caught me off guard back there. I never thought you'd give me a gift, I wish I could give you something too." She knows that a simple gift wouldn't cut it. It's exaggeratedly insufficient in comparison with what he did for her. Somehow, the happiness that twinkled in his eyes said everything she needed to know; that she finally did something right.

Jill waved her hand dismissively and just opted for a small—yet genuine—smile. "It's okay. You've given me something far more precious." Her enigmatic statement instantly brought a frown on his face and before he could ask, she closed the door and made her way to the front porch, not looking back, a proud smile on her face.

However, the loud sound of a horn stopped her from getting any further. She watched as Carlos stepped out of the car and went for a small jog her way. She watched with curious eyes as he grinned sheepishly at her and took her bags from her. Jill was about to say something to halt his actions but her words died before it even formed into a sensible sentence when she saw the way his eyes swirled with emotions she couldn't fathom. To say that she was mesmerized would be an understatement.

"I'll walk you there." He said, making her release a small chuckle.

"You really don't have to, silly. The door's a few steps away. See?" Jill pointed with a giddy smile plastered on her face, her heart swelling inside her ribcage from the welcomed change. For the past weeks of anguish and self-loathing, the light-heartedness and calm feelings Carlos made her experience were beyond what she could appreciate.

If this person weren't with her, she wouldn't know how this day would turn out or how she could even stand on her spot in the first place. She was grateful of him.

And someday, she vowed, she would pay him back.

The confident grin that Carlos flashed a few seconds ago turned into anxiety as he averted his gaze and rubbed the back of his neck, releasing a nervous laugh. "Well… um…" He stuttered, embarrassed all of a sudden.

His awkward behavior stirred Jill's interest as she tilted her head to the side. She watched closely as Carlos exhaled, a determined look settling on his handsome face, all the while digging inside his coat's pocket. He then reached for her hand and put something on her palm before giving her a toothy grin. What she saw made her heart do flips.

It was a simple hairpin with three cyan-colored musical notes adorning it. It was simple yet it held so much meaning to it, she couldn't help the small, appreciative smile from breaking.

"I guess I did have something to give." He whispered, bashful, still looking away.

Jill smiled softly, eyeing the beautiful ornament on her palm with thankful feelings. Reaching out, Jill placed her other hand on his shoulder, taking his attention, and leaned forward to place a tender kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Carlos." She softly whispered, a small giggle escaping her lips at the sight of his blushing face.

"Y-You're welcome." Carlos responded with a smile and proceeded in following her to the front door.

Jill looked for something to say the moment Carlos placed the bags on the spot beside her. The air surrounding them started to grow thick with awkwardness in which Jill attempted to ease by clearing her throat.

"You really should get going. I've already eaten a good amount of your time." Jill announced, earning herself a nod of understanding from Carlos. "Thank you again for everything, Carlos."

He gave her thumbs up and a dashing smile. "No problem, babe. I'll see you around. Merry Christmas!" He greeted in a cheerful tone before taking a reluctant step back.

She watched him turn around and jogged to his car and he paused to give her a small wave before entering. The engine roared to life and within a few seconds, his car drove to a corner where her eyes couldn't follow.

Jill was then left standing there, contemplating on the small episode that happened between them and a small, hearty smile broke into her face once more. Her eyes fondly landed on the piece of gift she had received earlier and for a short moment she couldn't take her eyes away. She tried to find some meaning about the small gift but the reason behind it eluded her. Jill took in the simple yet elegant musical notes on the pin and curiosity instantly shook her brains. As far as she could remember, Carlos never knew how much she adored music.

Music has been a part of her childhood and playing the piano had been her first love. It made Jill's heart ache when she made the decision to stop playing when the reality of college became painfully apparent. Not that she wanted to, she just needed to. Managing her overwhelming college schedules, numerous exams, review schedules, family gatherings, and social gatherings weren't some things she could easily handle no matter how controlling she was when it comes to time management. Her priorities are pretty much listed down and sadly, her love for the piano couldn't squeeze through the massive time-eaters.

So seeing the design on the hairpin brought nostalgia and longing, giving her the strong impulse to touch and hear a piano again.

Mentally thanking Carlos for the wonderful gift, and giving her the much-needed confidence she has been praying since yesterday for, Jill was quick to use the accessory in gathering her unruly bangs to the side and pinning it there. She then turned to her side to gather all her bags, her peaceful smile not once leaving her face.

That small moment with Carlos eased the tension she was feeling and as she straightened to finally come face to face the mahogany door of the Redfield's humble abode, she knew that she could do it without faltering. She knew that this time, she would be able to face her predicament unscathed. She was a fool for feeling so stressed when she had made her decision. Being tied to desperation and pain was the price to pay for her selfishness and she would have to suck it up and live her life through it. It was her decision.

It was her choice.

Steeling her resolve, she touched the pin Carlos has gifted her as if it was some sort of charm and willed her free hand to reach for the doorknob. However, a presence behind her made her stop and as if a strong, unknown force pulled her to look behind her and her eyes widened at the recognition. Fiery blue eyes stared back at her in equal shock and Jill did not know how long they stayed like that. It was excruciatingly painful to look at those eyes but she could not look away; not wanting to accept some sort of defeat.

"Jill,"

Jill's eyes narrowed, suspicion running deep into her veins. "Jessica," Jill stated, as calm as her nerves would let her. Why she was not surprised to find out that when things are starting to look up for her a new devastating event will happen, she did not know. It is funny enough to make her want to cry, ironically.

Jill waited for any sarcastic or snide comebacks but there was none, much to her shock. Instead, Jessica just looked at her with a blank face, no contempt, not scowl. It was just blank.

"Want to have coffee first?" Her tone was serious but it was not at all demanding. In fact, Jill was so taken aback with the tone that she used. She was coaxing her. It was almost believable that she wanted to spend a few minutes with her, of all people!

When she recovered from the shock, Jill regarded her with great suspicion. She knew Jessica is not one to speak to people she greatly dislikes on a whim, let alone acknowledge their presence. So why, pray tell, must she propose an idea so… awkwardly repulsive? It is not as if they were friends to catch up with each other's lives. She was so inclined to voice out her thoughts but again, she held her tongue and just allowed Chris's girlfriend—the word making bile rise to her throat—do all the talking.

But when Jessica just continued to stare at her with that serious, blank stare, Jill knew that there was something heavily coating the invitation. Something ominous twisted at the pit of her gut. There's something in the air around Jessica that rooted her to her spot.

Finally collecting some of her thoughts, Jill gave a slow nod before following Jessica to her car—that she wasn't able to notice until that precise moment—and drove to wherever the hell they were going.

And Jill didn't care because she was too busy making sense of the offer.

•xoxoxo•

Don't leave me behind in the memories

Don't look at my tears that can't hold onto you

•xoxoxo•

Author's Note: I intend for this to be a little longer but I just had to cut it here for a suspenseful cliff-hanger. I know I'm bad! And no, I won't take a year to update, guys. That part I'm sure this time because I have a lot of inspiration going on right now. Ha! I'm kinda angsty about how my life turned out; especially when the most influential girl group in my life finally disbanded. 2ne1 has been a big part of my life and I gravely regret not going to the last concert they held here in my country when I had all the resources then. It left me heartbroken. So I just had to feature their last song here in this chapter.

On another note: I just want to thank you, my beautiful readers, for giving me PMs just to ask if I was still okay! I really appreciate you taking your time to actually reach out to me. It really, really, really made me so happy! I will try to make update as constant as I can. So please bear with me for a little longer and thank you so much for all your patience. See you soon! :)

•xoxoxo•

Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil or any of its characters because CAPCOM owns them! I also do not own the lyrics of the song Don't Cry and Goodbye, which were featured here. They are owned by YGENTERTAINMENT and 2NE1. [January 30, 2017 | 1447H]