During the train ride Elphaba excused herself to Galinda, saying that it was her nerves that made her more quiet that usual. She wasn't even lying, and after they'd arrived at the Emerald City, those nerves started to get the better of her. Sure, she had been nervous before meeting the Wizard for the first time, but that had been a positive, excited, joyful nervousness, filled with hope and anticipation. Back then, she'd had no idea how much was at stake. How horribly wrong everything could go. How one false move, one misstep, one mistake could forever ruin everything. This time, she was prepared, but the awareness of the possible consequences turned her stomach into a painful knot. Breathe, she reminded herself. You have the advantage here. You're smarter than them, more powerful than they know. Just don't lose your head.
"Oh, Elphie, don't be so nervous!" Galinda said with concern as they stood before the Wizard's palace gate, waiting to be let in. Elphaba's heart was pounding. She could feel a stream of sweat running down her back and her hands were trembling, even if she clenched them into fists.
"I don't think I can just not be nervous," she said, attempting a weak smile in Galinda's direction. "But I'm glad you're here with me."
Before Galinda could answer, the gate swung open, and Elphaba's mouth went completely dry as the two of them were invited in by a guard in an emerald and gold uniform. She knew that uniform, and she knew what it meant for her. In her years as a Wicked Witch she'd faced danger countless times, and, more often than not, that danger was clad in emerald. But not always, she reminded herself, thinking of the night she'd snuck into the palace for the second time. That night, you thought all was lost, but instead you were handed everything and more. That night, green was the color of hope.
Having temporarily calmed her strained nerves, she followed the guard, Galinda by her side, through the astoundingly rich hallways, and caught herself memorizing the way in case she'd need an escape route.
"The Wizard will see you now!" the guard announced, opening the grand golden door before them, and Elphaba took a deep breath, glancing at Galinda, before taking a step into the Wizard's throne room.
She could barely control herself as painful, terrifying memories flooded her mind, but mustered all her courage to look straight at the caricatural golden head in the middle of the room. Galinda cowered by her side as the head rumbled: "I AM OZ! THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE! WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU SEEK ME?"
"I am Elphaba Thropp, your Terribleness!" Elphaba exclaimed, taking another step towards what she now knew to be nothing but a façade for her coward of an enemy. "You have summoned me here to..."
"Oh, Elphaba, is that you?"
A coughing noise, and an elderly man emerged from the cloud of smoke, smiling cheerfully. "I hope I didn't startle you. It is so hard to make out people's faces when I'm back there. Well, let's see," he said good-naturedly, looking his guests up and down, "which is which?" He chuckled. "Elphaba! Delighted to meet you!"
Despite all the fear and fury that stirred inside of Elphaba, she hated to admit how kind of an impression the Wizard continued to make on her. If she didn't know what he was truly up to, she'd be ready to see him as the warm, protective father figure she'd always longed for. Control your temper, Elphaba, she reminded herself as the Wizard shook her hand.
"And you must be…" the Wizard trailed off, turning to Galinda.
"Galinda," she answered sweetly, curtseying. "With a Ga."
"Your Ozness," Elphaba said. She knew she shouldn't rush, but every single muscle in her body longed for this to be over, waited for the moment to leave, to flee, to get to safety. "We're so happy to meet you!"
"Well, that's good! That's what I love best – making people happy!"
"You see," she almost cut him off. She wouldn't be able to endure one of his sentimental monologues right now. "We're not just here for ourselves. We've come here, your Ozness, because the Animals…"
"Oh, please!" the Wizard interrupted, and hearing his cheery voice made Elphaba want to strangle him with her bare hands. "I am the Wizard of Oz! I know why you've come, and I fully intend to grant your request! But, you have to prove yourself first. Madame, the book!"
Another wave of fear and disgust flooded Elphaba as she saw Madame Morrible step out of the shadows.
"I believe you're well acquainted with my new press secretary?" the Wizard said jovially. Galinda gasped.
"Press secretary?"
"Yes, my dearies. I've risen up in the world," Morrible cackled. "You'll find that the Wizard is a very generous man! Now, miss Elphaba—"
"Is this… the Grimmerie?" Galinda asked reverently, pointing to the book in Morrible's hands and reaching out to touch it. The headmistress nodded, ignoring her, and handed the book to Elphaba, who was relieved by its familiar weight.
"Elphaba," the Wizard said, commanding her attention, "this is my Monkey servant, Chistery."
The Monkey stepped shyly from the back of the room and Elphaba's heart ached for him. She knew what Chistery had been through at the Wizard's palace, knew he'd barely been able to speak even before she cursed him with a pair of wings; knew he could be a trustworthy, loyal companion to someone who showed him even the slightest bit of respect and care.
"He watches the birds so longingly every day!" the Wizard exclaimed, and Morrible nodded vigorously.
"So his Ozness was thinking… perhaps, a levitation spell?"
Chistery seemed to freeze in fear. How could I not have seen that back then? Elphaba wondered as she lowered herself to look the Monkey in the eyes.
"Chistery?" she asked gently, seeing him tremble, and raised her hand to pat his shoulder. "How would you like it if I tried to give you a pair of wings?"
"Oh, he'd be delighted!" the Wizard answered, and there was a hint of impatience in his voice. "Trust me, this will forever change his life!"
Elphaba gulped nervously and opened the Grimmerie. "W-what funny writing…," she managed to mumble.
"It's the lost language of spells," Madame Morrible explained. "Now, don't worry if you don't get it right away, my dear. I myself needed many years to learn to read even a simple…"
Elphaba stopped listening. She felt like the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She stared at the book, trying to stop her hands from shaking, and doing all she could to catch her breath. This was it. This was the moment when it all could go so unimaginably wrong. This was the moment that would decide what course her life would take. Whether she'd be able to come back to Shiz. Whether she'd see Fiyero again…
You promised him, she reminded herself. And you're not one to break promises. You haven't even told him you loved him yet. You must come back and tell him. You must.
Images started flashing before her eyes. Doctor Dillamond and the Lion cub trembling in his arms. Nessa, alone and broken, crushed by a falling house. Galinda with tears streaming down her face as they exchanged what she'd thought was their final goodbye. And Fiyero. Fiyero in the clearing, leaning into her hand. Handing her a bouquet of red poppies. Choosing her over anything and everything else. Holding her beneath the clear night sky. Kissing her for the very first time. Coming to her rescue in the cornfield. The indescribable pain she felt when she'd thought she'd lost him. The joy and heartbreak when he returned to her, forever changed, but alive. The hope he brought to her life every day he was in it. She imagined him standing next to her, looking at her with wonder, ready to hold her and protect her and love her. And all of a sudden, the storm inside of her went quiet.
She breathed in and out, relishing the feeling of being in full control. She pretended to carefully decipher the words on the page, but she gave them no power. She read on, focusing on what she wanted to achieve, working with the magic she felt inside, giving it the desired form.
Before she even finished chanting the spell, the room was shaken by a powerful explosion. As the world shook and streams of black smoke filled the room, Elphaba allowed herself a tiny triumphant smile. This was her victory, and she fully intended it to be the first of many.
As the dark fog started to lift, Elphaba looked around with concern. She noticed Chistery, cowering on the floor, and when she crouched down to check on him, she saw, to her relief, that he was terrified, but unharmed. She rose up and noticed Galinda, cringing in fear just a few steps away.
"Are you alright?" Elphaba asked, taking a step towards her. Galinda nodded and managed a weak smile, which Elphaba immediately returned. A fit of coughing prompted her to turn around, where the Wizard was clutching his chest and Madame Morrible protected her elaborate hairdo.
"Well, she is powerful," she gasped as if Elphaba was not standing right in front of her. "Very powerful. There's no doubt about that."
The Wizard nodded and Elphaba was immensely satisfied to see a tone of fear in his eyes.
"Her ability to control that power, however, is what worries me," he mumbled. Madame Morrible waved her hand.
"She will learn. Give her a year and she'll be unstoppable!"
That's what you should be worried about, Elphaba thought, but was careful to appear as demure and non-threatening as possible.
"I'm so terribly sorry! I didn't mean to do that! I apologize, Your Ozness!" she said and dramatically fell on her knees. "I'm sorry for disappointing you. And you, Madame…," she added with a frown. "Please, forgive me, I beg you!"
"Oh, nonsense, my dear," the Wizard said, once again in his fatherly tone, and lifted Elphaba up. "Those who are afraid to fall can never soar. And you, Elphaba – you deserve a chance to fly!"
He and Morrible exchanged a look.
"Well, miss Elphaba," the headmistress said. "The Wizard and I should have a word. Please, be so kind as to return to your quarters with miss Upland. I shall visit you tomorrow morning and inform you of how we will proceed."
Elphaba made sure to give the Wizard an exaggerated humble bow before turning to Galinda. Never before had she been this happy to leave a room the exact same way she had entered it.
•••
"Oh, Elphie, I'm so sorry!"
After they made their way back to the lodging house they'd checked into, Elphaba couldn't resist collapsing onto the hotel bed and closing her eyes, trying to relax her tensed up muscles. Hearing Galinda's ruthful tone, she raised her head and gave her friend a questioning look.
"I'm sorry it all went so wrong," Galinda explained. "I know you've worked so hard to see the Wizard, and it must feel terrible to fail like that, but…"
Elphaba chuckled.
"It's okay," she said, resting her chin on her palm. "I don't really see this as a failure, you know?"
Galinda was shocked.
"But…" she stammered. "But you couldn't do what the Wizard—"
"I know," Elphaba said, and took on a serious expression. "But you know, I think… maybe it's for the best?"
Galinda's eyebrows shot up.
"What do you mean?"
"Well," Elphaba started to explain, seeing a chance to plant another seed of doubt in Galinda's mind. "Did you see how Chistery reacted when the Wizard asked me to perform that levitation spell? He was terrified. That's why I specifically asked him. He didn't want it, Galinda. At least not that way. He was so scared."
She turned her head to Galinda, who avoided her eyes, fiddling mindlessly with her fingers. She looked uncomfortable, as if she had an itch she couldn't scratch.
"But the Wizard… he told me to go through with it anyway," Elphaba added, deciding to tickle Galinda's sense of morality just a little more. "It's like Chistery was just a little plaything to him. Like he didn't care about his feelings at all, you know?"
Galinda was still silent.
"It's all just so confusing," Elphaba sighed. "You know, I want to help people and Animals. I want to do good things. And I was sure that joining the Wizard was the way to do it. But now…" She trailed off, lying back down and staring at the ceiling. "I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting. I mean, he's the Wizard, right? He wouldn't ever tell me to do anything bad. Would he?"
"Of course not," Galinda said, but there was no conviction in her voice.
"Yeah. Yeah, no, of course not. I just wonder…"
"What?"
Elphaba sat up and looked at Galinda inquisitively.
"He's the Wizard," she said, biting her lip. "If he thought the levitation spell was such a good idea, why didn't he do it himself?"
Galinda's discomfort visibly increased.
"I don't know, Elphie," she said weakly. Her voice sounded like she was about to burst into tears. "I don't know what to tell you."
Elphaba fought a satisfied smile. She didn't enjoy Galinda's discomfort, but the fact that she was uncomfortable meant that did see the cracks in the Wizard's façade and couldn't lie to herself about it. That was more than Elphaba could have hoped for.
"Yeah, I don't know either…," she said. "But I guess we'll just figure it out as we go, right?"
"Yes," Galinda nodded with a relieved smile. "Yes, we will."