GOOD TO YOU
•xoxoxo•
Disclaimer: Resident Evil CAPCOM | Plot © whitemaigexxvii | Song © 투에니원
Summary: [AU] Jessica Sherawat: the girlfriend. Jill Valentine: the best friend. The lines were set but it was still breached with pain just around the corner. RATED M. Valenfield / Sherafield
•xoxoxo•
Author's Note: I'm sorry for yet another delay with the updates. My laptop died and I had to save for a new one. You don't know how annoying that was. I had to start from scratch since I lost most of the data and the things I've retrieved where not as helpful. But, anyway, I'm back! I'm so glad! How's everybody doing? I really missed this, you have no idea. Anyway, this is not proof-read yet so if there are any mistakes with the grammar and all, I apologize in advance. So, let's go! Enjoy~
•xoxoxo•
CHAPTER VI
Don't be deceived
Don't fall for the temptation
Nothing lasts forever
When winter passes
Spring will come again
•xoxoxo•
IT WAS ALREADY forty-five minutes passed two in the afternoon when Chris' mood became decent enough for him to refrain himself from feeling the intense need to pulverize something within arm's reach when an interaction from earlier so much as crossed his mind. As he dragged himself away from the comfort and privacy of his room, he could slowly feel the anticipation of seeing that one person—who has that annoying habit of turning his mind into a mangled mass of cells and tissues—twist into something more sinister. Jealousy is an emotion Chris had somehow learned to endure when it concerns a certain Jill Valentine. Having to chase down guys who're insane enough to hit on her, and glaring them down before they could even make a move on her, Chris was used to the unwanted attentions his best friend unknowingly attracts. He learned that those petty things never require his jealousy to go berserk. It was mainly because he was confident that Jill would never even spare those men a second of her attention when she's with him.
Cough.
Well, the keyword being 'was'.
After seeing her so happy while talking to that man from earlier, with her beautiful eyes holding that lustrous sparkle in them, brought forth bubbling jealousy deep within his chest; it was causing a huge tempest that's enough for Chris to suddenly doubt himself. He doubted his once absolute position in her life and doubted that authority he has in whatever things she does.
It scared him. It was that one possession he didn't want to lose.
That man, whoever he was, had better not be in his goddamned house or he'll make sure everything boils down to Hell and never come back. He knows the hostility is something uncalled for because for one, he does not even know who that person was, personally. But there was something about the situation that threatened him. And with that, he just knows that that man is bad news. His opinion will not change until a valid reason presents itself. For now, Chris is fully convinced that that man was another mindless suitor who wants to get into his best friend's pants.
At that point, Chris instantly had to stop. His mind literally went blank for a beat, like a computer trying to reboot, before conjuring some of the most despicable ways of dismembering that bastard if it was the case. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he rue the day he lashed out at Jill. Now he has no means of scaring that bastard off. Don't get me wrong, he completely aware that between the both of them, Jill had always been the wary one. However, it's a part of his reflex to somehow meddle with her personal life; especially when it comes to something that has a potential of harming her emotions. It's not just because he's romantically attached to her but it's because he honestly wants to protect her from this impure world.
He's fuming now yet he couldn't explain where that vicious emotion is being directed to. Whether it's because of his current helplessness over the subject or if it's with that guy being daring enough to step beyond Jill's well placed boundaries, he absolutely has no fucking clue.
With a dejected sigh, Chris finally registered reality as his feet had already carried him closer to their kitchen where his nose caught a delicious scent of something being baked coming from inside. Nostalgia hits him as he remembered it being his favorite dessert from childhood. He picked up his phase and was not surprised to see her standing there wearing a cream colored apron over what seemed to be an expensive blouse.
He remembered this Aunt Julie from his childhood as she opened the oven to pull a tray of molten lava cake. He remembered being seated on his high chair as she prepared breakfast for them whenever their parents would leave them in the Valentine household because of a business trip. She would always place the food in front of them with a cheerful smile before giving a mini mission of whomever gets to eat the whole thing would have a taste of her special dessert. He was reminded how competitive they would all get; racing to a point of ungracefully choking.
It was hard not to think about those days and it's been ages since he saw her work inside the kitchen like this. Last Thanksgiving, it was just his mother and Claire preparing so the scene in front of him caught him a little off guard as he tried to keep the nostalgic feelings at bay; although he sensed that the attempt was already futile.
He continued to watch her work while she sets another batch inside the oven, completely unaware of his gawking. Chris couldn't help but notice the similarities she shared with Jill and how nice it would be if she was the one baking those sweets for him.
Yes, waking up every day to Jill's cooking would be very, very nice.
"I could use a little help, you know."
Chris recognized that tone from when they were still kids. It's that teasing tone she always used on him when she either caught him doing something too embarrassing to tell or being caught just when he's about to do something playful. It was evident in her gestures that she was not completely oblivious of his presence.
He felt his cheeks heat up, embarrassed for being caught red-handed, before shrugging it off. "I think you're carrying yourself quite well, Aunty." He stated as he pushed himself up a stool in front of their counter. He reveled in the sound of her hearty laugh. When she turned around, a warm smile greeted him, filling him with that same nostalgic feeling. He reciprocated with a sheepish grin; finally noticing how his mood suddenly improved from straight fucked-up to A-Okay. "You don't need my help." He added, adapting the same playful tone she used on him earlier.
Julie Valentine gave another hearty laugh before claiming the stool across from him. He watched how her cerulean eyes sparkled with so much happiness, it made him feel like he was being given a reminder that this is what Jill's eyes were supposed to look like; not that hollow pit of uncertainty and sadness he saw three weeks ago. Then, it really got him thinking. How long will it take until he sees the same warmth, the same welcoming flicker in those eyes? Will it completely become just a memory?
With how things are going with them?
Probably.
He noticed how she leaned in closer as if inspecting him like a vialled specimen. This caught his attention which prompted him in raising his eyebrow at her. The corner of her lips twitch into a smirk and before Chris knew it, she was already looking at him as if she knows something that she was not supposed to know yet. "Aunty?" He was feeling a little uncomfortable with how her eyes scrutinized him; like she's ripping through the layers of well mended facades.
She shook her head. "If you plan on taking things further with Jessica, you should start making Catharine understand things." Was the first thing she said after a short, awkward pause and Chris was greatly baffled by her words. He didn't even have the time to ask what she meant because the sound of the oven timer going off beat him to it.
However, his brain literally took its precious time in processing what seemed to be like a little foreshadowing of events he should've had the information to. The delay took too long that Julie even had the time to hop off of her seat to take the fresh batch of baked muffins out from the oven, put a few pieces of it on a plate, and serve it to him; her words still lost to him. He was too lost in making sense of the statement that he noticed how Julie rolled her eyes and released an exasperated sigh before reclaiming her seat across from him. The only time it did click into place was when she reached out to grasp his hand and gave him an expectant look.
His question next was how the heck did she gain the knowledge about that?
Another click.
God damn it, of course. Of course he knows exactly where Julie would get the idea. He has only one fucking name in mind. Yes, it has got to be Claire Redfield. He was well aware that Claire can't really keep a secret once she has decided that keeping her mouth shut about it won't do anybody any good. Well, it's not like he has any reason to be silent forever. He just can't find the right time to tell everyone yet. He originally planned to tell Jill about it first but seeing as how things went between them, it's as good as impossible. He was so desperate that he turned to Claire instead.
Don't get him wrong, though. He understood why Claire had made the decision to tell on him. Given Jessica's standing in their family when it comes to being "welcomed", it won't come as a surprise that the topic about marriage would arise. Whether Jessica would be in it or not, it was what pushed Claire to confide. The only question that's plaguing his mind right now is whether Julie heard it directly from his little sister or from someone else? Worst case scenario would be Julie hearing it from his mother.
Oh, god, anyone but his mother.
Because like what Julie said, his mother needs to understand things first and he's the one who needs to reiterate that. Of course he knows everything will boil down to this but when he really thinks about it, now that the ugly truth has finally flaunted itself, he finally realized how unprepared he really was.
God damn it, Claire.
Finally gathering his scattered poise, he raked a shaking hand through his brown locks. For some reason, he could no longer look straight into her eyes because looking means killing himself slowly with thoughts of Jill. "Did you hear that from Claire?" He did not expect his voice to come as a complete opposite of his mislaid composure. He was really thankful of that, for one.
There was a pause; short but heavy enough to suffocate him. "Your mother told me."
A small inch of his mind expected that answer but the rest just had to refuse to believe it. Feeling a migraine coming too close for comfort, Chris found solace in pinching the bridge of his nose. "Of course it just had to be her."
He heard a small giggle and felt the warmth of her hand on his forearm. Her light-hearted approach on the matter did nothing to ease his worries. His mother would definitely wage war with him soon enough. Julie knows better than to just brush the gravity of the situation off.
"Chris, Cath is not thrilled about the idea but I'm sure it would really help if you open up to her. It will make her feel more at ease once she knows why you chose Jessica. Tell her what led you to make that decision. I'm sure she will understand." Julie advised; her soothing voice coaxed his eyes to finally meet hers. And when it did, he was mesmerized to see that he found comfort in how her eyes shine with clear certainty and confidence.
Chris found no words left to disregard her advice. No matter how much he wanted to scoff at the idea, he gripped his composure with an iron-like hold. Why he chose Jessica? Well, yeah. Sure, it was so easy to come up with all the good qualities he fell in love with in the duration they had spent together. It was so easy to fabricate that he did all this because he loves her. It was really so easy to stay so fucking defensive against his mother's desperate attempts of making him realize that Jessica is not the one for him. Well, it was really easy if only he's still the Chris he was a month ago.
The Chris who gave up so much just because he was madly in love with the woman he thought would stay faithful to him. That, in itself, was like a cold slap to the face because of how wrong he was. And until now, he's still beating himself up because of it.
"That's a good idea, Chris."
Chris tensed as he turned his head to where that cold and somewhat detached voice came from. Catharine regarded him with a standoffish stare, arms crossed above her chest, her posture rigid as if battling an urge to wrap her nimble fingers around his neck. She might look so detached on the outside, but Chris knows better. His mother is a ticking bomb; ready to explode with the right trigger.
"Why don't you make me understand?" She added, her words dripping with a mixture of sarcasm and hatred; taking a step closer with each word until she was standing right beside him.
He can feel the tension boiling just below the surface of this far-fetched calm. He can feel Julie's apprehension as her back visibly straightened all the while clearing her throat in what he thinks as a way of diverting his mother's attention from him but to no avail.
Oh, boy. This will not end well.
•xoxoxo•
When today is over
It feels like tomorrow will be different
Will my life be okay without you?
•xoxoxo•
JILL SUCKED in a breath as she set her drink aside; barely even taking note of the exquisite taste from the beverage she paid a little extra for. She tried to shift in her seat—tried to find some comfort for her tense muscles—as she desperately took hold of her mind's fleeting concentration. Her thoughts seemed to always slink into the darkest fractions of her memories and loiter there, and she does not have the luxury to fall into that trance. Not when she'd get into a much more complicated situation once the woman in front of her finds out.
Finds about what she and Chris had that night.
She closed her eyes, shaking the ardent feelings of intimacy she had mistakenly brought upon herself due to her selfish longing for the man that is owned by another woman. The woman so calmingly indulging herself with the brew she picked and as their eyes met, Jill saw a gleam of triumph glaze over those dark, blue eyes. At that particular moment, she suddenly felt a painful, stabbing feeling of something being forcefully yanked out of her greedy hands; something that did not belong to her yet she kept on clinging on to.
She felt the woman in front of her shift positions as well before clearing her throat. This caught Jill's attention. Calming her thoughts, she met Jessica's stare again with a blank stare. She stopped thinking at that point. Jessica then sets her own drink aside and folded her gloved hand neatly on top of her crossed legs. Albeit transient, it did not escape Jill's attention how Jessica regarded her with a smug smirk before shifting to a fake smile.
Oh, she hated how fake this woman is and how it turns her into one.
"So, what's up?" Jill started; trying to erase the sarcasm in her voice but desperately failing at that. She wanted to skip with the introductions and get this over with as fast as she could. Being around Jessica just when her sins are still clearly etched in her conscience is making it too difficult for her to hold on to what little respect she has left for herself.
Jessica cleared her throat. "Not so friendly, are we?" If Jill at least attempted to hide the sarcasm in her voice, Jessica made sure to make it as painfully apparent as she could.
Did she really think this conversation would be as linear as she wanted it?
Of course not.
Straightening her back and crossing her arms on her chest, she gave Jessica the blankest face she could ever muster. "Have we ever?"
There was a small amused laugh. "I must say, you have a point right there. I guess that's one for Jill and zero for Jessica, huh?"
What is with this woman making everything between them something like a fucking competition? This made her scowl to a point where she fully considered leaving yet something about the whole situation told her to stay rooted on her spot or she'll gravely regret it later. "I hope this is not your idea of catching up or I'd feel sorry for myself."
"Oh believe me, Jill. This is will be like a thing between best friends."
Jill raised a curious eyebrow. Jessica's tone was as equally taunting as her smirk. It's like she's spelling out something to her in Morse code; something Jill's familiar with but still couldn't fully understand. She decided to humor her with mock interest. "Pray tell."
Jessica told a small sip from her cup, letting it linger close to her lips for a while before setting it down. Her eyes remained fixated on the small cup all the while distractedly swirling a gloved finger on the rim of it. "I really meant that, you know? After all, you're the very first one I'd like to know about this." Jessica then gave her a look so serious it took all of her not to openly gape at her.
This has got to be one of those crude jokes she's used to hearing from her. She opened her mouth for a retort but immediately closed it when Jessica raised a halting palm; her look stern. "I know you'd rather have me glaring daggers at you than actually asking you for your friendship like nothing's wrong with the whole situation." She paused for a humorless laugh. "I'd rather have that too since I'm so used to it. It's so easy to hate you, you know? But right now, we're already way passed beyond that point. We don't need to be hostile to each other."
It was her turn to give a sour laugh. Is she really being serious right now? Jill couldn't decide if she'd get offended or really consider Jessica's point of view. What the fuck happened here? Why now of all times? As she tried to assess the whole situation, Jill finally realized that something more sinister lurks just below the surface of this messed up encounter. It made Jill consider the possibility that Jessica really waited for her that time.
"Funny how you said not to be hostile," Jill sorrowfully whispered before throwing the woman in front of her with an insulted stare. "Let me remind you this, Jessica. I'm not the hostile one. At least I use not to be."
Jessica sighed, dejected. She reached for her drink again, her hands having that subtle tremble, as she took one swig from it. "I mean it, Jill. I want to be your friend."
Something's not right here. She can feel her heart stop for a second before resuming with its loud, obnoxious pumping. Stunned would be an understatement. Hundreds of thoughts ran through her like derailed bullet trains. Asking to be her friend is like admitting defeat, like waving a white flag to cease a raging war. Why? She sucked in another breath; trying to look for a reaction that will suit the situation presented. She still cannot believe it and in the end all she managed was another hollow laugh, pain seeping slowly like stain on fabric.
"Great, I've been thrown a year back. Only this time, the table has turned. How ironic,"
She saw how Jessica's patience drained from her face as she settled for a glare. "And you're no different from me a year back. How ironic,"
Her statement was like a cold, hard slap across the face, and she found no words for it because Jill knows she was speaking the truth. Back then, she genuinely wanted to welcome Jessica as a part of the family but was shunned so ruthlessly. Has she really fallen too far to stoop to Jessica's level just because she never gave her a chance and she's doing the same now as some sort of petty revenge? She clenched her jaw; now fully ashamed of her actions.
This is not her.
She was raised knowing compassion and humility just so she will embody those traits not become like an uneducated bitch who knows no kindness.
She was ready to apologize when Jessica sighed once more, this time completely aggravated but Jill knows that it's not directed at her this time. "Listen, Jill. Facing you like this isn't really that easy. If it's hard for you to be in one room with me, don't forget that it's hard for me too. But when I start to think why I'm here, why I'm doing this, I just know I have no other choice than to see this through.
I hate you, Jill. We both know the feeling's mutual. However, believe me when I say I've never wanted it to be how it is. I just hate the fact that you get to be with him first. I hate how you make him smile in a way I never could. I hate how he cares so much about you to a point of it being too unhealthy for our relationship. I want—need his attention but you, you just had to exist." Jessica paused when the quiver in her voice became painfully evident.
Something deep inside Jill's heart throbbed as she watched Jessica like knowing her for the very first time. She finally understood that under her display of bravado and indifference, Jessica harbored insecurities that haunted her to a point that hating was her only option. Jill wanted to reach out to her and tell her that she understands, that she's not alone, but stopped herself. For one, pity is the last thing Jessica needs. This is a woman finally voicing out her fears and facing it bravely. Jill knows better than to rub that in by getting sympathy from a wrong person. Instead, she wanted to show that she respects this moment of weakness from her by keeping her mouth shut.
"It's honestly vexing. I guess I just really wanted to be with him so bad that I became the woman you've learned to hate. Call it whatever you want, Jill. I don't expect you to understand it right away but give me the opportunity to make things right between us because I don't have to prove anything anymore. In fact, I don't have anything to prove right from the beginning." With that, Jessica slowly removed her gloves and what she saw there stopped time for her.
"This ring is enough to prove everything."
Jill's breath hitched as her vision turned. If that ring proved where Jessica stands in Chris's life, it also showed her where her place really was. Her doom. Her heartache.
The end of her world in the form of a silver band.
•xoxoxo•
If at least you're happy,
It's a happy ending
I'm not being sarcastic
I hope you know I mean it
•xoxoxo•
Author's Note: That last bit from the song Happy made me cry, damn it! I've been dying to write that part with Jessica and Jill. It's just so ironic how one man split them apart yet draws them closer. Phew. I'm also so glad I finished this chapter before my birthday! It's like an advance birthday give to myself. Lol. I just want to thank my reviewers for being so lovely and making this journey worth it. I also want to thank Ocimum for being such a huge support. I'm sorry for not being able to reply to your last mail, hun. I hope you're doing okay. I hope you're all doing okay, my wonderful reviewers!
Another Note: I'm really blown how balanced the Alerts and Favorites categories for this story are. You guys are awesome! But I would really love to it hear from my silent readers once a while. Anyway, have a wonder day/night, babies! See you soon~
•xoxoxo•
Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil or any of its characters because CAPCOM owns them! I also do not own the lyrics of Good-bye and Happy, which were featured here. They are owned by YGENTERTAINMENT and 2NE1. [May 30, 2017 | 1126H]