Pregnant. She really was pregnant. Diane still couldn't believe it while she still stared at the sonogram in her hand; it simply couldn't be true, there had to be some other explanation. She couldn't be pregnant. When her period had been late, or rather absent, it had been easy to blame it on the stress and her age, same with the exhaustion and nausea that started to appear a week ago. But then she had the feeling that something was going on, something strange, not necessarily wrong or dangerous, just different. Now Diane had the answer to everything that had been going on, but it brought her no closure, quite the opposite in fact.

A million thoughts were running through Diane's head, making it hard to think clearly. How could this have happened? How was she supposed to have and raise a baby? But there was one thought that constantly ran through her mind, how could she possibly tell Will that she was pregnant and that he was the father?

While nothing made sense and she questioned everything else, Diane at least could be sure who the father of the baby was. She only had sex with Will, so he was the only one that came into question, and that was about the worst part. Will didn't want children. He didn't want children with the few women he had serious relationships with, so he certainly wouldn't want to have a baby with her. Diane didn't know what to think or feel right now, her whole life was turned upside down, and she had absolutely no idea what to do.

When somebody knocked on the window of her car, Diane flinched in shock and looked up only to see her Doctor standing next to the car. Her appointment had been almost three hours ago, but Diane hadn't made it out of the parking garage, not trusting herself to drive home at the moment.

"Do you mind getting out of the car Miss Lockhart?" Dr. Jones asked gently, and because there was nothing else she could do and had no reason not to, Diane got out of the car. "Are you okay?" the other woman asked again, and Diane sighed.

"Honestly? No...I-I don't know…" Diane whispered and blinked some tears away. "I have never felt this way before…and I don't know what to do…"

"May I call you Diane?" a short nod was enough for Dr. Jones, who then continued, "Diane, I understand that this is a shock for you. But you have always struck me as a very intelligent woman; nobody expects you to make any choices right now. That was a lot to take in today; I met people in easier situations who were equally shocked at finding out that they were pregnant. Go home and take your time thinking about everything until your next appointment in five weeks." the other woman then searched through her bag before handing Diane a business card.

"It's entirely your choice, Diane. We're the only two who know, and I believe that every woman should have the choice. So, this is a friend of mine, and she is the best in the city if you decide to terminate, and she will take good care of you." Dr. Jones said, and for a moment, Diane eyed the card before she took it.

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me. Just don't be too hard on yourself, Diane. Goodbye," Dr. Jones said before she turned away and walked to her own car to go home. Diane watched her for a moment before she looked back down on the card in her hand. Then, with a sigh got back inside her car and finally drove home, her mind still reeling from everything she had learned today.

When Diane was finally home, she immediately went inside her bedroom and then undressed before stepping inside the shower. That was what Diane needed right now. She turned the water as hot as she could without burning her skin and let the water run down her body and wash everything away. The sound of the water also drowned out everything else, and Diane desperately needed the silence.

Diane didn't know how long she stood under the shower or when the tears finally stopped running down her face and body. After Diane eventually turned the water off and dried herself, she almost automatically came to stand in front of her floor-length mirror and looked at her belly from all angles. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that right there under her hand and under her skin was a tiny human being growing inside her.

If Diane looked closely, she could make out the slight difference of her abdomen, the almost unnoticeable bulge there. This was real. She really was pregnant, Diane was 46 years old and pregnant with the baby of her best friend and business partner. She would have never believed to ever be in this situation, and it greatly terrified her; Diane couldn't remember if she had ever been this scared before in her life.

Could she really raise a baby on her own? Money was not the issue, Diane had more than enough money, but how was she supposed to accommodate her work at the firm and a child? What if she was a miserable mother? She had no answer to any of the questions in her mind and suddenly turned away from the mirror and wrapped herself in a bathrobe, and then walked back towards her purse, where she pulled out the sonogram. A tiny, frizzy, gray spot that was supposed to be her child, that was all there was.

But as she stared at the picture, a new thought arose in the back of her mind. What if she miscarried? She was way too old to have a baby. In the first trimester, even younger women who were perfectly healthy and had no high-risk pregnancy had miscarriages all the time. So what made her even think that she would have a baby, not to mention a healthy baby?

Diane was lost in thoughts staring at the sonogram, so it took a while for her phone to ring to finally reach her ears. She searched for it in her purse and quickly took the call without checking who it was.

"Hello?"

"Hey Di, everything okay?" her heart skipped a beat, and almost instantly, new tears were burning in her eyes; it was Will.

"What? Y-yeah, sure. I- why are you calling?" she stammered, desperately trying to sound like nothing was wrong like she hadn't found out hours earlier he had impregnated her and wasn't holding the picture of their possible future baby right now, whom he knew nothing about.

"Well, because you were supposed to call me hours ago after your mystery appointment, because of the ChumHum lawsuit, but you didn't, and I was worried," he paused before he continued his own voice laced with worry, "Are you really okay? You sound...strange."

"No, I'm fine, really I'm fine. But, shit, I totally forgot, I'm sorry, Will, it's just...it's been a strange day, and I haven't been feeling great. Maybe I'm coming down with something...I don't know," Diane answered, trying to hide the roller-coaster of emotions she was feeling right now.

"Well, then I don't have to ask you if you want to go out for dinner. Or do you want me to come over? I could bring you something to eat, anything you want, what do you say?" Will asked, trying to sound casual and not really interested, though the opposite was the case. He really wanted to spend time with her again, it seemed like in the last weeks following their night together, they both had been avoiding each other, fearing that somebody could guess what had happened from the way they talked or acted around each other. But Will missed Diane. Even if she didn't want to start a relationship or anything, he just wanted to spend time with her again.

"No! No...I-I'll just make myself some tea, and then I'll go to bed; maybe I can sleep it off," Diane quickly said. It was strange, Will was the last person she wanted to see right now, she couldn't talk to him or be near him and not tell him about the baby. But at the same time, the thought of having Will there was so comforting. If the situation had been different, if another man was the father, he would have been there for Diane. He would help her through this all and stay by her side no matter what happened, but the circumstances denied her the comfort of having her best friend around when she needed him most.

"Oh, alright...okay…then take care of yourself and get some sleep, I hope you feel better tomorrow, but if you don't promise me you'll give me a call, yeah? I can handle the firm for a day without you, and you can get better again." Will said, and Diane heard that he was a little hurt, but also that he really cared and wanted her to take care of herself and take all the time she needed to get better. He knew that Diane often ignored signs of her body to take a break.

"I will, thank you, Will. Goodbye."

"Good night, Di. See you tomorrow." Diane looked back down at the picture in her hands of their baby, and before realizing what she was saying or before she could stop herself, she had spoken up again.

"Wait, Will I-" but in the exact same second, as the words left her mouth, the spark of courage left her again. She prayed for a second that Will had already hung up and didn't hear her, but that was not the case.

"Yes?"

"I- nothing...I'm sorry, that was stupid, it's nothing…" she couldn't tell him, not right now, not on the phone. And what if she would lose the baby? Then she would have worried him and gotten him involved for nothing, then everything they might talk about or plan would be meaningless.

"Diane? What is going on? Something is going on...I know you, please talk to me...is it because of that night-"

"No, I promise nothing is wrong. I have to go now," Diane quickly said and hung up, the last thing she heard was Will calling her name, but she had to end the call before she broke down. Diane had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down again. Suddenly the exhaustion of the day hit her with full force, so she made her way back inside her bedroom and slipped under the covers of her bed.

Diane was still holding the sonogram in her fingers, she took one last look at it before she placed it on her bedside table, and almost automatically, her hand came to lay on the tiny bulge caressing it gently...if not lovingly. Again Diane didn't know how long she laid there in the dark, and it might be the exhaustion, but for the very first time, a small smile laid on her lips. There was a short, blissful moment of happiness and love over a long-held wish she thought she would never be granted, right before she fell asleep. Diane wouldn't even remember it in the morning, but it was there, and deep inside, she knew it was there.

Oh god, not again! Diane thought when that horrible nausea came back yet again in full force for the hundredth time this day. This was supposed to be morning sickness; why the hell was she feeling like vomiting her guts out most of the day? Diane had found out she was pregnant two weeks ago, and only two days later, the morning sickness began to kick in, making her feel miserable the whole day. It felt like her body was catching up on the two weeks she hadn't been sick, and so there hadn't been a day in two weeks on which she had felt even remotely okay.

Diane slowly rose to her feet to open a window and get some fresh air, but nothing worked. It got worse and worse. At least now that nobody beside her was here, Diane didn't have to slow down or pretend to feel perfectly fine as she hurriedly made her way to Will's private bathroom.

Nowadays, she really envied him for it and regretted having laughed its perks off when they talked about the offices years ago. Now, as Diane knelt retching before the toilet, she wished she could also use it during the day and didn't have to try to make no sound or hold everything in until nobody was around anymore.

How could a human being the size of an olive make her feel this miserable? Apart from 24-hour nausea and vomiting, Diane felt like she hadn't slept in days, no matter how much sleep she got. She was constantly tired and slowly running out of fitting clothes, the tiny bulge had grown into an almost noticeable bump, and her breasts were practically bursting out of every bra and blouse.

Once Diane had relieved herself of every trace of food or liquid in her stomach and cleaned herself up again, she walked out the door only to see Kalinda standing next to Will's desk.

"Kalinda! What are you doing here?" Diane asked, more than surprised. She had been sure that she was the only one left, at least on their level. But Kalinda didn't answer her question, instead, she only handed her a bottle with an orangey drink inside.

"It's organic ginger tea. I also have some crackers with me, that should help with the nausea," the younger woman said, and Diane stared at her in shock. That was no coincidence. Kalinda knew she was pregnant, but how? Was she that obvious? Did also other people suspect or even know that she was pregnant?

"How did you know?" Diane had to ask as she accepted the drink and took some sips from it. The prospect of having something that might calm her stomach down was too tempting, and since Kalinda already knew there was no point in pretending otherwise. Not that Kalinda wouldn't be able to see right through her anyway.

"I saw you hurrying to restrooms in the last week more than in the last year, and once I paid a little bit more attention to you, it wasn't hard to figure it out. Are you okay?"

"At forty-six and pregnant? Definitely not...but I think I'll manage. I just…I don't know how to tell people...if the baby should survive so far to tell anyone." Diane said as they walked back inside Diane's office, and Diane sat down on the sofa while Kalinda sat on her coffee table.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Diane sighed. Yes, did she want to talk about it? She hadn't been able to talk to anyone about what was going. If she could trust someone to keep her secret, it was Kalinda. But even though they got along pretty well, Kalinda was even closer to Will, probably the only person she honestly thought of as a friend here. So talking to her about everything that was going on, about the baby, who was also Will's, felt wrong. But she wanted to talk to somebody, didn't want to feel so alone and isolated anymore.

"I don't want to bore you with my life or overstep boundaries-"

"Diane, I asked because I'm here if you need someone to listen, you can tell me everything you want, and if you don't want to say anything, that's also okay. It's your life and your choice." Kalinda told her honestly but not unkindly.

"Does that McVeigh guy know?"

"Mc-? Oh, Kurt? No, why would he?" Diane asked, not catching on so quickly what Kalinda was implying as she accepted the crackers from the other woman, who frowned at her.

"So, he's not the father?"

"No. No, I haven't seen him in over a year. What we had was fun while it lasted, but he is hardly around, and we wouldn't see each other for most of the time. I didn't want that," Diane answered.

"Are you even keeping it? You still have time to choose, right?" Kalinda said, not asking further about the father, Diane would tell her when she was ready or not. It was not really her business. Still, she liked Diane a great deal and would be there for her when she needed a friend.

"I-" yes, was she going to keep the baby? "Honestly...I don't know. I was always advocating for women to have the right to choose, and I still am. But now I'm in a situation where I have to choose, and I'm a prime example of a woman that should consider an abortion. I'm too old, single with very few people to support me, and I have a demanding job, and I'm never home. I don't want to have a child only to push it off to other people to raise it, that wouldn't be fair. I wouldn't want my child to feel like a burden or something like that." Diane explained, and it felt good to finally talk about it with someone.

"So why can't I do it? Why am I unable to call the clinic I've been told to go to and make an appointment? Yesterday I was staring at that damn number for hours, but I couldn't call them. Why?"

"Just because you stand up for women to have the choice doesn't mean you automatically have to get an abortion Diane, you have a choice. You can decide for yourself what you want, and it doesn't make you less believable or honest just because you might decide to keep the baby. That's the whole point, no woman has to have a baby, and no woman has to have an abortion. And...when you can't make an appointment, maybe you already have the answer to the question whether you want the baby or not," Kalinda told her honestly, she really meant what she said and did not only want to say anything to make Diane think like she cared. She might not show it that much, but she cared a great deal for a few selected people here, and Diane definitely was under them.

"Yes, your right...I- I just don't know how I'm supposed to tell the others, to tell the partners. Old, pregnant Diane will be the number one topic for gossip for months-" suddenly tears filled her eyes, and Diane didn't even know how it was even physically possible to cry that quickly.

"Oh damn it! Don't get me started on these freaking hormones! I don't even know what I'm crying about! Those mood swings are hell. I'm laughing one moment and having a crying fit ten seconds later." she said, sniffling as Kalinda handed her some tissues.

"Why should you even care what other people think? You don't owe them any explanations. This is your life, Diane, if they don't like that or think they can judge you, then fuck them! I know you, Diane, even if you're pregnant, you'll lead this firm with your head held high no matter what they say, like you always do." Kalinda told her without any doubt in her voice.

"You probably wouldn't say any of that if you knew the whole story," Diane mumbled as she stared at the crumpled-up tissue in her hands.

"I don't think so, but you do tend to surprise me. I'd just like to know if the baby's father had nothing to say and left you to deal with everything on your own? It's also his baby."

"I haven't told him yet…" and putting everything on one card, Diane just hoped she wouldn't fuck everything up. "...Will has no idea." Diane would have never thought that one day she would be the one to cause Kalinda to be so surprised that her jaw dropped and she was at a loss for words.

"Wait...you mean? And Will is the father?" Kalinda asked, slowly understanding what Diane had just said.

"Yes, he definitely is the father. There was no one else."

"Okay...well, I don't mean to pry, but when did that happen?" Kalinda couldn't help but ask.

"After the party when Wendy Scott-Carr had to drop the case against him. We were talking at his place, and...it just happened," Diane told Kalinda, who nodded slowly.

"And he as absolutely no idea?"

"None, I couldn't tell him...I can't tell him. It was an accident, he never wanted children, and even if that were the case, then surely not with me, it should have never happened. I'm too old and could miscarry, so as long as it's not even certain if there is going to be a baby, then I don't...I don't want to worry him or endanger our friendship...I can't do that to him."

"You're underestimating what he feels for you, Diane, and don't you think that apart from the fact it is also his baby and therefore also his responsibility, he deserves to know about it? I'm sure Will wouldn't let you go through this alone, no matter what, Diane, he wouldn't leave you alone, not you and not his child." Someone telling her what deep down she knew all along was comforting and told her she wasn't crazy for how she felt.

"I- you're right… I know you're right and that I have to tell him before I can't hide it anymore, and he figures it out on his own...but I- I still need some time to figure out how to do it," Diane confessed and rubbed her hands over her face. Her eyes were burning not only from the tiredness but the crying as well, and all in all, Diane felt like a truck just ran over her. Still, the weight of the secret she had been carrying around for two weeks now was finally lifted when she told Kalinda, and that brought her a great deal of relief.

"I'm also dead tired and should go home now. Thank you, Kalinda. I can't tell you how much it meant to me to finally talk about everything," Diane said, and Kalinda nodded.

"No need to thank me, I'm here when you need to talk again," she then stood and nodded towards the doors, "Let's get you home then."

"What?"

"You don't really think I'll let you drive home like this? You're going to get yourself killed. I'll drive you, no arguments." the investigator said full well knowing that Diane wanted to do just that, and she really would have fought it if she wasn't so damn tired.

"Alright," Diane answered and got up as well. They both gathered their things and then left the firm. Not even five minutes into the drive, Diane had fallen asleep next to Kalinda, who couldn't help but smile a little a the sight.

Kalinda also couldn't help but think that when she had found out, Diane was pregnant, Will being the father, had definitely not been under her assumptions regarding who the father was. Even if she had suspected something was going on between them when she first started, Kalinda never thought to look closer at the two when these presumptions had turned out to be false.

Even though it was none of her business, Kalinda always thought they would make a good couple. They had both dated partners that resulted in a relationships way stranger than the two of them together could ever be. Not to mention the women Will had slept with who hadn't been close to relationship material. And while she had caught Will staring at Diane often enough, she had put those with the looks and comments from various other men Diane received at the firm or in court almost daily.

It really wasn't that special, but Kalinda had believed Will to stay away from possible meaningful but also complicated relationships at the workplace after the whole Alicia debacle. But Diane wasn't Alicia, and maybe they would be good for each other. Well, even if it didn't work out, if there was going to be a baby, then they had to figure out a way to include each other in their lives because if they wanted to not, there would be a child that had the right of them both being in their life.

But until the baby was here, it was still a long road to get to. After all, Will still had no idea that he was going to be a father. Kalinda threw another glance at the sleeping Diane next to her when she stopped at a red light. Her eyes automatically shifted to her friend's abdomen on which Diane's left hand rested protectively over the life growing inside of her.

She might not believe it herself, but Kalinda sure as hell knew Diane was going to be a great mother, and she would certainly not be on her own, Kalinda would make sure of that.

Hello again my lovely readers,

I hope you liked the new chapter! Diane very slowly comes to terms with her pregnancy, but we obviously still have quite a few months ahead of us. But thanks to the incredible Kalinda, she has at least one person that knows and will be by her side now. Because we know Kalinda won't let anyone hurt her makeshift family. Dear Will still has no clue, but for how long? And how is he going to react?

I'd love to hear about your thoughts in a review!

As always, stay safe and healthy, my lovelies!