*Disclaimer - I do not own Pitch Perfect, Life Unexpected, or any of their plot lines*
Y'all are amazing. Seriously, thank you so much for all of your support on the first chapter. I'm so excited for you to see where this story goes!
Somethingthatismine - Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you're here, too! Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
Spookypotatoe - Hahaha, thank you so much! I'm so glad that you're excited! Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
Bec143Chlo - Thanks so much for your kind words! A lot to take in and only more on the way ;) Thank you so much for reading and for your support!
Guest (1/3, Sept. 10) - Yay! I'm so glad you enjoyed the first chapter! Thank you so much for the prompt :) I also went back and forth on whether or not to have other kids, but I think you'll like what I do with the pregnancy. And yes the medical problems with Kiara are definitley a main focus point of the story - more on that this chapter. I was kind of upset that Life Unexpected just like brushed over the whole heart thing and it was like there was so much more that they could've done with that. I'm glad you liked Chloe's characterization! The first draft that I wrote for this I felt like I couldn't get Chloe and Beca right, so I'm glad you enjoyed Chloe's! To be completely honest, I don't think i'm even going to touch the father aspect. With the medical plot line and then the actual Beca/Chloe/Kiara plot I think adding the father might be a little too messy - but I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you so so much for reading and for your support, I hope you like this chapter, too!
Icedragone - I'm so happy to be back! I'm so glad you enjoyed the first chapter. We'll have to see about Beca and Chloe hehehe but I promise I will not drag out the reunion for seven chapters ;) The answer to your question is in Ch.2! Thank you so much for reading and for your support, as always!
Guest (2/3, Sept. 10) - Yes, exactly right on the age! Coming up on her sixteenth birthday, but Chloe assumed she was younger bc of the medical problem. Both of your questions are answered this chapter ;) Don't want to reveal too much but I will say, that your second question has a very important answer. Maybe it'll come together this chapter? Thank you so much for reading and for your support!
Wolvezzz - Yay! Thanks so much for waiting patiently for the arrival! I'm interested to see if Chloe makes Beca track down Kiara too hehehe - who knows? Not I! Now, what if I told you I have a fully completed atypical one shot sitting on my desktop bc I couldn't figure out if I wanted to post it? What then? Do I do it? ;) Love the show for Casey/Izzy (yay for gay) - not a fan of the ableist aspects of the casting/production/plot :( Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
Jody1990 - Ugh thank you so much for your kind words, as always! I was definitely in a little bit of a rut towards the end of the summer, but I'm glad to be back, too! I definitely think that Chloe is going to have a few things to say about Beca signing the papers, too ;) Thank you so much for reading and for your support!
Guest (3/3, Sept. 10) - Yeah eeee no comment about Kiara just yet! We'll have to wait and see about her ;) but more answers to come this chapter! all very good points about Beca and what she could do... question is - does she want to? I honestly haven't decided if Aubrey or any of the other Bellas will be in this yet, but Aubrey will not be in it as a lawyer. I'm going to change a few things about how Beca and Chloe end up being Kiara's guardian compared to Cate/Baze/Lux, but I hope it remains mildly realistic! Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
Guest (Sept. 11) - I'm so glad that this has been so widely anticipated! It makes my heart swell! Thank you so much for your kind words about Leap of Faith, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Definitely a labor of love. Hahaha I am glad you're hooked! What're you intrigued about? Do share, if you so please! You know I'm always down to listen! Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope you've been well, too! Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
CJE - Thank you so much for your kind words! I appreciate you reading and your support!
Guest (Sept.16) - Today is the day! I'll most likely continue updating on Thursday nights (EST. time!) unless I can't get a chapter written in time, then it'll be the following Thursday night est. time! Thank you so much for reading and for your support!
Chapter 2
Disclaimer II - I am not a doctor by any means, and apologize for any medical inaccuracies.
Content Warning - Discussion of serious illness, drug use, self-destruction.
Not being able to wake up used to be one of Kiara's top three fears. Something that would keep her awake all night just in case her heart decided to stop. Clearly, young Kiara had some issues with fact checking her fears, but still – she would lie awake in bed worrying that she would never wake up, and that someone at the home would find her in the morning.
As she got older, the fear diminished. Mostly because she got used to the rising likelihood of its possibility. She started to crave the long nights of sleep; the late mornings that being at Lena's provided her with.
Now, a little over a week away from turning sixteen, she probably spends a little too much time wondering what will happen when she inevitably doesn't wake up.
Though, this morning, the wonder turns to want, knowing that whatever situation is waiting for her, is not going to be a pleasant experience.
Kiara arrived back at the home at eleven thirty last night, greeted by an incredibly angry Lena on the front porch who did not hesitate in telling her exactly what she thought of her little adventure, the one that Olivia, Kiara's closest friend at the home, covered her for. Of course, Kiara didn't get a chance to defend herself because Lena quickly pulled the 'you need to go to bed' card and said they would talk about it in the morning.
Which is why Kiara already knows what to expect when she feels a light touch on her back, combined with the sunlight streaming through her window and casting a glow on her face.
She groans with the sudden consciousness, eyes pinching closed as she takes deep, steady breaths, trying to relieve some of the pressure in her chest. Even as she struggles to become fully awake, she can hear Lena's voice loud and clear.
"Kiara…Kie. Come on, love, time to wake up."
Kiara stretches out on top of her mountain of pillows, the wall keeping her sitting up while she sleeps, just like she has been since the risk of fluid buildup in her chest started being of concern to her doctors. She blinks her eyes open, looking up at Lena through bleary eyes. "Morning."
Lena sits back in the chair that's beside Kiara's bed, a soft smile on her face. "Good morning. How'd you sleep?"
Kiara shrugs, reaching up to take a sip of water from her glass. "Okay."
"Mhmm… and the pain?"
The water tastes metallic in her mouth, and her eyes drift closed as she swallows. She's used to the questions; it's the same routine every morning. Has been for the last eight years. "Normal."
"Good." Lena rubs the palms of her hands on her long skirt, sighing as Kiara finally meets her eyes. "I want you to get ready and then come downstairs so we can chat, alright?"
Kiara nods, trying to be careful with the ache in her head, but understanding that there is little room for negotiation at this time. Not when she found Lena pacing the porch last night when she got back to the house. Not when the one woman who has always cared for her, loved her, could barely look at her. She simply sent her to the nurse's station, and then told her to go to bed.
She could feel the disappointment radiating off of her, and even eight hours later, that sentiment is still loud and clear.
"Okay. Holler if you need anything."
"Thanks, Lena."
The older woman pushes herself out of the chair, leaning over and pressing a light kiss into Kiara's forehead. Kiara's eyes close at the touch, but by the time she opens them, Lena is walking out of the bedroom.
The process of getting ready is slow. It's gotten slower over the years, with Kiara fighting her body to wake up and actually function rather than making her feel like she's moving through a tub of molasses. She can't move too fast, or she'll risk passing out; she can't move too slow, or she'll fall asleep standing up just from the pure exhaustion. Some days are worse than others, with her legs shaking five minutes into a shower, while other times she can do her whole routine standing. Sometimes her chest starts to bother her, sometimes she's just lightheaded. It's a constant guessing game, one that she still doesn't know how to win.
She was diagnosed when she was six. Dilated cardiomyopathy. It developed rather quickly, and the doctors still aren't exactly sure what happened. Probably a genetic thing along with everything else that has ever been wrong with her. But constant fatigue and a fainting spell later, her foster parents brought her back to the hospital for a week of tests and exams.
And it's not like she was a stranger to hospitals. It's part of the reason why she never got adopted as a baby. She was born prematurely, diagnosed with failure to thrive, and spent the first four months of her life in the NICU hooked up to machines that were supposed to be pumping steroids and nutrients into her. By the time her lungs fully developed and she was an acceptable weight, the potential health complications that could come along later in life basically deterred any potential adopters from coming her way.
So started Kiara's childhood in foster care. She stayed with one family until she was around three years old and continued to have various feeding and growing complications. She moved to another home across the state, stayed with that couple for three more years until her heart started crapping out on her.
After that, it was more hospital stays. No one wanted a kid with minor health complications, let alone one with a diagnosis that would likely result in a premature death date. She bounced back and forth between long-term hospital stays and different foster homes, until her doctors in Portland put their foot down. Said that she needed stability; a safe place to stay while the medications started working in hopes of delaying any sort of heart failure or need for a transplant.
The time for that would come eventually, but medications would delay it at least temporarily.
Her social worker started searching for new placements and found Lena's home out here in Albany, less than thirty minutes away from a respected hospital that could handle her medical needs (at least for the time being; she switched hospitals to one in the city around her thirteenth birthday), and under the supervision of a woman and medical staff that were well versed in caring for kids with illnesses.
At eight years old, she packed up her belongings from St. Luke's hospital and drove four and a half hours to Lena's house – technically classified as a group home because of her therapist license and additional state funding, but a place, nonetheless, that has only ever felt like home.
In terms of her health, she's been on a rollercoaster of a ride, going through different drug cocktails that work for a year or two and then cause her heart to stop working again. This last combination is all the doctors have, and with the way it's working – or not working, more accurately – Kiara knows that it won't be long until surgery is on the table. She can feel herself getting weaker every day, and would be lying if she said she doesn't see the way that Lena watches her every move and the way her doctors never quite smile the way they used to at her previous appointments.
But she's not scared. She's been preparing for this her entire life.
It just sucks because there's quite literally nothing she can do about it.
That's life, though.
Kiara's sitting on her bed pulling her towel-dried hair into a braid when there's a quiet knock on her door. She doesn't even need to look to know who it is.
"You can come in, Liv."
Kiara ties off the braid, looking up when she hears the wheels of Olivia's oxygen tank cross her threshold. "Hey."
Olivia crashes down on the bed beside her, jabbing a finger into the side of Kiara's arm. "What the hell, Kie?! You were supposed to be home by dinner!"
Kiara rubs her arm and frowns at her friend. "Okay, first of all – ow. And second of all, I didn't get to see her until, like, eight o'clock. It's not my fault."
Olivia's frown doesn't leave her face. "Yeah, well, Lena tore me a new one multiple times yesterday, so you owe me – big time."
"I know." Kiara leans back on her arms, turning to face Olivia. She's been living here for a little under four years, moving in when she was thirteen with a lovely diagnosis of cystic fibrosis. "Thanks. Again. For, you know – covering for me."
Olivia joins her, mirroring her position. "Don't worry about it. Did she sign it?"
Nodding slowly, Kiara silently gives her the answer.
"And you met her?"
She sighs. "Yep."
Kiara had an entire bus ride to replay her interaction with Beca over and over again in her mind. How she only really looked at her to figure out if Kiara was who she was saying she was. How she really didn't say…anything.
She's tried not to let it bother her. But, on the other hand, she doesn't exactly know what to think about the entire situation. Not that she'll ever see Beca again, but it's like one of those big life events that you spend your entire life wondering about how it'll play out – and then when it finally happens, the outcome is always semi-disappointing.
"Yikes." Olivia grimaces, fixing the canula on her nose. "So, I take it the reunion went well?"
Kiara shrugs, keeping her gaze on the floor in front of her. "Wouldn't really call it a reunion. More like… a brief introduction and her signing the papers. I'd say the whole thing was like fifteen minutes, max."
"Isn't that what you wanted, though?"
"I mean… yeah, I guess. It was still a little strange, though."
Olivia meets her gaze. They've been close ever since Olivia moved in. Ever since she came in swearing up a storm because she didn't want to be 'one of those group home kids'. Lena made the two of them roommates, and the rest was history.
"Strange how?"
"I don't know… I wasn't really sure what I was expecting. But she signed the papers so it's all good. I won't have to see her again."
"True, but—"
"Kie?" Both Kiara and Olivia's heads jolt in the direction of the bedroom door where, sure enough, Lena is lightly tapping her fingers against the wall. "Why don't we let Olivia get back to her schoolwork and have you come downstairs and eat something."
It's not a suggestion, and both girls know it. Which is why Olivia says nothing – simply gives Kiara's hand a light squeeze – before heading out of the bedroom and leaving Kiara under Lena's watchful gaze.
Neither Kiara nor Lena says anything, with Kiara silently following behind her until they get into the kitchen. It's almost ten in the morning, the rest of the house either in their homeschooling classes or doing something else. There are only five kids living at the home: Kiara, Liv, a thirteen-year-old named Marco, a twelve-year-old named Sebastian, and a nine-year-old little girl who just moved in a few weeks ago, named Madison. Most of the time, they're all doing their own things – whether it be online classes or lying in bed because their current condition prohibits them from doing anything else.
It doesn't matter though – they all know that their family is always there for them.
"Sit." Lena gestures to one of the chairs at the main dining room table, disappearing into the kitchen as Kiara does as she's told. The older woman emerges moments later with Kiara's usual breakfast of yogurt and granola, and her cup of meds. "Jackie said that after you eat and take your meds, you need to go down and see her. She wants to check your vitals and your heart rate and everything."
Kiara nods, pushing the yogurt around with her spoon. She doesn't dare look Lena in the eye for fear of the disappointment that will be shining back at her. "Okay."
"How are you feeling after your shower?"
Kiara takes a small bite of the food. Her appetite started disappearing around three months ago. Lena has fought with her on more than one occasion to get food into her. "Normal."
"Tired?"
"Yeah."
"More than normal?"
Kiara shrugs, not exactly wanting to give Lena the satisfaction of saying I told you so if she were to admit that she is, in fact, feeling more tired than normal after her little adventure yesterday. "Not really."
But Lena knows Kiara better than she knows herself most times.
"So, yes." Lena lets out a heavy sigh, leaning back in the chair across the table from Kiara, and Kiara knows exactly what is coming next. "Kie – what you did yesterday… leaving like that… was probably one of the stupidest things you could've done."
Kiara keeps her eyes plastered on the table, cheeks burning red with embarrassment.
"What in the world possessed you to go into the city without telling anyone?"
At Lena's question, Kiara's head jolts upward. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, having already assumed that Olivia had told Lena the real reason for her galivant across the state. She wavers at Lena's expectant glare, but eventually mumbles, "I met my birth mom."
Lena's jaw slowly drops open. "You…what?"
Kiara runs a hand over her face, still avoiding making eye contact with Lena. "I went out there to meet my birth mom. To get her to sign over her parental rights. It was the last thing that I needed for my hearing and Kyle was taking forever to get it done. I took the paper from his desk last time I met with him and did it myself. Now, it's signed, it's over with, and I can get emancipated."
Lena slowly shakes her head. "Kiara…"
Kiara pushes away her barely-touched bowl of yogurt. "Don't. I'm fine. I just… I want the hearing to be over with."
"I understand that, but Kie – these things take time. Kyle would have gotten the paper signed before your court date. If you wanted to meet your birth mom, we could've worked on arranging—"
"That's not why I went. I just went to get the paper signed. And I did. So, we're fine. Please don't make this into something it's not."
The following silence is a tell-tale sign that Lena is trying to decide what to say. What battles to pick. And Kiara is left waiting for the end result. It comes moments later.
"I want to talk more about your birth mom later, but I can respect that you may need some time to process—"
"I don't need time to process."
Lena continues as if she were never interrupted. "You may need some time to process meeting her. That being said, you still left without telling anyone, for well over twelve hours. I know I don't have to tell you that your heart, love," Lena's voice cracks ever so slightly, "your heart is not as strong as it once was. What would you have done if something had happened?"
Kiara has to bite back a laugh. As if her heart was ever remarkably strong.
"What you did was very, very dangerous. I can't even begin to describe how terrified I felt, not knowing if you were going to come home, or if I would have to come find you at a hospital. Do you understand?"
There's a new pain in Kiara's chest that has nothing to do with her heart, and everything to do with the guilt she has for making Lena this upset. The woman that has done everything for her. "I'm sorry, Lena."
For the first time, Kiara lifts her gaze to Lena's, flinching at the tears clouding her eyes. Lena gives her a tight-lipped smile, and gently takes her hand in hers. "I appreciate that. But I'm going to be honest with you, Kie – it's going to take a while to earn my trust back."
Kiara quickly wipes a fallen tear from the corner of her eye before it has a chance to roll down her cheek. She sniffles. "Understood."
"Good. I love you, Kiara, but you need to start making smarter decisions, especially if you are expecting to live on your own. Yeah?"
"Yes."
"Okay then. Finish up and then go see Jackie. I'll bring one of the laptops to your room so you can do class in bed because I do not believe for a second that you aren't absolutely exhausted."
Kiara can't help but to laugh at that.
The burning hot water pierces at Beca's skin, creating red marks all over her back, steam rising up out of the shower and filling the bathroom despite the open windows.
And Beca doesn't feel a thing.
This numbness – both in her body and her mind – is not new. In fact, it has stayed relatively constant since she watched her daughter walk out of the lobby of BM Records last night.
Her daughter. She's played those two words over in her mind more times in the last fifteen hours, than she has in the last fifteen years.
Tightness swells in her chest at the reminder, and Beca turns the water up even more.
She doesn't make it a habit to think about that period of her life. When she was sixteen, thought the world was against her, and fought tooth and nail to make her life even more of a living hell than it already was.
The baby – Kiara, because the baby has a name, now – was just an unfortunate consequence of that. A consequence that, like everything else that happened over the year-long period of her living with her cheating-ass father, she has worked so hard to forget.
Beca shakes her head, squeezing her eyes shut against the words. She turns the shower knob the last millimeter, the water being the hottest it can be.
She doesn't hear the bathroom door open with her mind making so much noise.
"Bec? Bec, you've been in there for a long time…" Chloe's voice breaks through each layer of bad memories and self-deprecation, pulling her ever so slightly back to the present, but not enough for Beca to fully respond. Neither does the sound of her opening the shower door, or the rush of cold air that follows. "Holy shi—Beca, this water is scalding!"
Beca jolts back to reality as the water is turned off, and a towel is wrapped around her. She briefly allows Chloe to carefully pat her raw skin dry, while Beca tries to pull away. "I'm fine, Chlo."
"No, no you are clearly not fine, Beca." Chloe takes a step back as Beca leaves her touch, watching with her mouth dropping open as Beca goes toward the closet. "You cannot seriously be going in to work today."
Beca flips the light on, heading toward the back of the walk-in where her suits are. She calls out behind her, effectively speaking more words in the last minute than she has all night. "Why wouldn't I go to work? It's a Tuesday."
Beca has barely said a single word to her wife since the lobby. Since she met her daughter for the first time. The daughter that she never once held, the one that she didn't even want to look at. The one that people had promised would be taken care, yet who subsequently spent her entire life in foster care, in a group home instead of a family.
The guilt alone is enough to eat away at Beca. But the guilt combined with the resurgence of the memories and feelings that she has tried so desperately to escape in her college and adult years – it's just about crippling.
But she's not going to let it consume her. So, she has been fighting down all of those thoughts and memories, willing herself to keep moving for fear of what may happen if she is left alone with only her mind.
"Beca, we need to talk about this. Your daughter—"
"She's not my daughter. She's the girl that I put up for adoption. I don't get to have that title." Beca steps out of the closet, tucking her blouse into her pants. She avoids Chloe's gaze, which tracks her to the mirror.
"Okay, well, clearly you don't think that otherwise you wouldn't have spent the last twelve hours in complete silence." Chloe stands, her arms crossed over her chest, eyebrow quirked with a growing warning. "I know that you don't like to think about high school, but that kid is a part of you, Beca, and you just…"
This time, it's Beca that turns around with her eyebrows raised expectantly. "And I just…what? I gave her what she wanted, Chloe."
"She's sixteen and she wants to be emancipated – she wants to be a legal adult. That doesn't make you worry? Even a little bit?"
Beca throws her hands up in the air, her voice raising in volume. "I don't get to worry, Chloe. If she wants to emancipate herself from foster care because she never got adopted, who am I to stop her? I'm. Not. Her. Mother."
"You are her mother, Beca! That was your kid just as much as the baby is!" Beca subtly flinches at that, moving to plug in her hair dryer. "I saw your face when you saw her, babe. Please don't force yourself to ignore the significance of this. We can-we can do something, we can find her again, we can stop the emancipation—"
Beca, rather rudely, cuts Chloe off by turning on the hair dryer. She ignores Chloe's eyeroll in the mirror, almost as though she had been expecting it, and allows the noise of the hair dryer to try and drown out her thoughts.
Her many, many thoughts about the worst time in her life. The time that she has tried, desperately, to forget about, all to no avail.
A time where she was forced to move across the country from Portland, Oregon, to Portland, Maine, when her father cheated on her mother and her mother was too heartbroken and depressed to function as a parent.
A time where her father and his new fling picked her up from the airport, and the next moment, single-handedly tried changing her entire life. From enrolling her in some preppy private school, to restricting contact with her friends from home. Her mom stopped answering her phone calls and she hated her father for ruining everything good in her life.
Long story short, she didn't turn into the best version of herself.
Beca started rebelling, as one might expect a teenager to do.
Well, more accurately, she went on the ultimate path of self-destruction.
Skipping school. Experimenting with drugs. Partying. Selling the drugs she had previously only experimented with. It got to the point where she was spending more time high and with the worst influences possible, than she was either in school or at her father's house. It was a time of self-destruction, self-mutilation, and a time where Beca has never been lower.
One Friday night party, a handle of vodka, a collection of pharmaceuticals, and a willing male participant later, and Beca ended up pregnant.
She didn't know she was carrying until five months into the pregnancy. The amount of weight that she had lost and her incredibly unhealthy lifestyle hid every sign that she had a baby inside of her. It wasn't until she got in a car accident – driving, under the influence, and crashed into a tree – that she was told that she had less than four months before she would be giving birth.
That she had been pregnant for five months and didn't stop taking drugs. Didn't stop drinking.
That she had practically been poisoning the baby since the day it was conceived.
It was the wakeup call Beca needed, because as much as she was willing to screw up her life, she did not want to do that to an innocent child. She got clean, took some classes online, and while she still refused to talk to her parents, she made arrangements for the baby and did her best to ensure that it would be safe.
The night she gave birth was the first time, during this whole Portland, Maine ordeal, that Beca would admit that she was scared. The pain was unlike anything that she had ever experienced before. The fear was overwhelming.
She gave birth to a child – she hadn't wanted to know the sex – and within seconds after they were cleaned up, Beca was telling the nurses to get it out of the room. She had already signed the papers, already called the social worker she had been working with.
The baby would be taken care of. It would have a family far better than what she was gifted. And, most importantly, the baby wouldn't ever have to know Beca.
Except for the fact that, apparently, the baby – now a full-grown teen – was never taken care of. She didn't have a family. And, in order to escape the life that Beca gave her, she did need to meet Beca.
Beca turns off the hair dryer once her hair has reached an acceptable level of dampness and turns to face Chloe, who has been tapping her foot impatiently as she glares at Beca in the mirror. "It's my fault that she's trying to get emancipated. She was supposed to go right to a family. That's what they told me. Instead, she's spent the last sixteen years in who knows what kind of situations. And that's on me."
When she meets Chloe's eyes once more, the redhead is completely silent, as though waiting for Beca to come to a conclusion on her own. Simply giving her space to work through it out on her own.
Either that, or she's just too pissed to care right now.
Beca takes a deep breath, leaning against the front of her dresser. "I can't… I can't bring myself to think about her. Because I know that-that whatever happened – that's on me. And I know that if I…if I keep thinking about her – I'll want to do something about it. I'll never be able to stop thinking about her."
This time around, Chloe's expression softens. Her hand goes to her abdomen, her thumb lightly brushing against the small swell, unnoticeable to anyone who doesn't know that she's carrying. She gives Beca a soft shrug. "But would that really be a bad thing?"
Thank you so much for reading - I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think/thoughts/comments/predictions in the comments if you are willing to share! I love reading all of your responses!
See you next time! xx