Thanks so much for your support on Chapter 3 and for your patience as I worked to get this one up!
Icedragone - Thank you so much! I appreciate it. Yeah Kiara is really struggling and this change is going to affect her in more ways than one. Interesting prediction with Chloe - I guess we'll just have to see what happens ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
Guest (1/2, Sept. 30) - Haha I don't know anything about the area so hopefully it's not inaccurate. Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
Guest (2/2, Sept. 30) - I apologize for the wait! Thanks for bearing with me! I hope Kiara and Beca's first (second) interaction lives up to your expectation. Yes, originally I wasn't going to include the mediation and was going to have her move right in like with Life Unexpected, but I couldn't leave the inaccuracy. I also don't know of any nonfictional stories of kids being reunited with their biological parent after such a long period of time but hey, that's where we can get creative. I think all of your analyses of Kiara, Chloe, and Beca are going to be pretty accurate, with a few twists thrown in ;) But yes Kiara is for sure just as - if not more - stubborn than Beca so that's going to be fun. Interesting that you see Kiara as being more accepting of Chloe at first... we will just have to wait and see! Thank you so much for your support and for reading, as always!
Bec143Chlo - Hahaha I think you'll see the stubbornness runs deep with both Mitchell girls ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
CJE - Thank you so much for your kind words! The heart condition can be genetic but it can also be caused by other factors (like alcohol consumption during pregnancy) or can be idiopathic, which means that there is no cause that doctors can find that resulted in the condition. Thank you so much for reading and for your support!
Guest (Oct. 1) - Yes, Beca is technically going to be a foster mom like Cate in Life Unexpected! That will be discussed more in the next few chapters. Hahahaha I would love to see Beca's reaction to a Bug-like character. While I haven't decided whether Kiara will have any sort of romantic interests in the fic, I do think there will be plenty for Beca to be displeased about ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your support!
Guest (Oct. 5) - Oh, it's okay! Thank you so much for your kind words! Gotta keep busy, right? I'm glad that you're enjoying the fic so far. Beca's and Kiara's relationship is definitely one of the main plot points of the fic and complex is the perfect word to describe it. It is a huge change for Kiara and it's not going to be easy for her in more than one regard. Thank you so much for reading and for your support!
Chapter 4
"Tell them you don't feel good. Lena won't make you go if you need down time."
Kiara lays with her head in Olivia's lap, the other girl's long fingers working their way through her loose curls. She shakes her head into her thigh, her entire body already feeling drained from the day. "She's already made me check in with Jackie twice."
Liv scoffs, but her soothing gestures never once stop. "What time are they supposed to be here?"
"One."
It has been a week since Kiara's world was turned upside down. One week since Kyle told her that she would be moving in with Beca – her birth mom. Beca, the person that has already given her up once, and somehow is getting a second chance sixteen years later. Against all of Kie's wishes. She has barely talked to Lena since then, only for the obligatory health check-ins, and other than that, has ignored every single attempt at reconciliation.
Still, both Kyle and Lena managed to schedule the first glorious session of mediation, three weeks prior to Kiara's move-in (move-out) date.
"Want me to come? I'll sit down there with you."
Kiara squeezes Liv's other hand. "Thanks. I doubt they'll let you, though."
"Who cares? I'll let that Beca bitch know exactly what I think about her trying to take you from me."
A small smile tugs at the corner of Kiara's mouth, despite everything going on. "I'm sure they'd love that. Maybe they'd force you to come home with them, too."
Without even looking in Olivia's direction, Kiara can tell that the older teen is rolling her eyes and shaking her head in frustration. "It could still not happen. Didn't Lena say that the move was all dependent on how these sessions went?"
Kiara shrugs. "Kyle only scheduled three of these things. He doesn't care how they go. They already made the decision."
Olivia bends down, wrapping her arms around Kiara's torso, laying her head on top of hers. "I'm not letting them send you away. It was bad enough thinking about you leaving after the hearing, but this—this isn't happening. We'll-we'll get you a new social worker or call Dr. Khan – he might be able to do something about it."
Ha. The hearing. Kiara's sixteenth birthday passed without any sort of court date, and instead was spent curled up on the couch with Liv and the other kids, ignoring every single attempt by Lena to try and make her feel better. The possibility of her being able to live on her own feels like a lifetime ago. "Dr. Khan didn't even want me moving out."
"So, he'll be against you moving across the state!"
"Closer to the hospital? In a non-group setting? I doubt it." Kiara's voice is raw from the emotion and stress of the day, her head pounding incessantly, just as it has been since she woke up this morning. "Kyle basically said that there-that there wasn't a way out of it. And Lena agreed."
"Screw both of them. I'm not letting you just leave."
A short laugh escapes Kiara's lips as she pulls away, helplessly wiping the slight wetness from beneath her eyes. "I don't think we have much of a choice." She lets out a heavy sigh, leaning up against her headboard instead. Kiara slowly opens her eyes to meet Liv's gaze as she says, "I guess the good news is that it won't be for very long."
Olivia shakes her head, glaring at her best friend, though she's heard the same argument time and time again. "Don't talk like that."
Kiara shrugs, playing with the thread hanging out of her sweatshirt pocket. "It's not like that wasn't the reason for moving out anyways."
"Kie…" Olivia reaches out to her, and Kiara pauses her anxiety-filled ministrations with a heavy breath, letting their fingers lightly intertwine. "If you just talked to Lena—"
"I'm not talking to Lena. About any of it. Do you want her to completely lose her shit?"
"I'd rather her lose her shit than have to lose you all together. How the hell are we going to see each other when we're living three hours away?"
Kiara wipes her nose with the back of her hand. "I don't know." Her body aches as she perches herself on the edge of the bed, frustration and fear weighing down on her. "I can't do this, Liv. This-this wasn't the plan."
"Hey," Olivia pulls her back into her side in an instant, pushing away her own emotions about their current situation and taking Kiara's from her instead. She calms herself down, gently holding Kie close. "We'll figure something out. Maybe, maybe after a month or something they'll see how stupid it was and you can come back. Or we'll figure out a new place for you to go, okay? This isn't…this isn't the end. No matter what anyone says."
Kiara sniffles, nodding slowly, but not making any attempt to move from the comfort of one of the only people she ever allowed herself to get close to.
Unfortunately, she doesn't have much of a choice in the matter. Both Kiara's body and Olivia's body stiffens upon hearing footsteps getting closer to the bedroom. Sure enough, Lena is poking her head in moments later.
"Kie? How's it going up here, sweetheart?"
Kiara rolls her eyes, feeling an anger that was once so foreign to her when it comes to Lena, but that has quickly become more and more familiar over the last week, that it makes her insides turn. She doesn't answer, allowing her gaze to fall to the ground.
Liv, on the other hand, has no problem telling the older woman how she feels. "You promised that we would never be sent away. Why the hell are you letting Kyle do this to her?"
Kiara can hear Lena's broken sigh, followed by a calm explanation. "Olivia, I understand that this is incredibly frustrating and coming out of the blue, but Kiara has a chance at having a family. We need to be supportive—"
"She already has a family! Where has this woman been through Kie's entire life? Through all the hospital stays? Through all the failed meds and the sleepless nights? We have been there – you, and me, and everyone else. Why does that not count as a valid family?"
"Liv, of course it does, but—"
"Then why are you letting Kyle take her?! Can't you see that she doesn't want to go? Or, whatever, that she doesn't want to go through this mediation bullshit so that you guys have some sort of reason to force her to go?"
Kie can feel the eyes on her as the tears start to fall once more. She just doesn't have the fight in her anymore to stop them.
"Kiara, can you look at me, please?" Lena crosses the bedroom, moving so that she's kneeling in front of the two teens, the two girls that have taken over Lena's entire heart. She waits until Kiara's hazel eyes find hers. "I hope you understand that I do not want you to leave. It is killing me to see you like this and know that you are moving. But love, you have to look at it from the court's perspective, alright? With the way your health is going, there is no way your emancipation would have been granted. And with your birth mom living closer to the hospital, with the financial security she has, and how hard she fought Kyle to get this to happen – we all know that she would've been granted custody. There are a lot of sick kids looking for a safe place to land right now, love, and—"
"Oh, so you're just kicking her out for your stupid waitlist?"
Lena immediately shakes her head at Liv's claim. "Of course not. But that is how everyone else sees it. And if we can get Kie in a home, an actual home—"
"—Even if she has repeatedly said she does not want to…"
Lena sighs. "The Department wants kids in homes. Not group homes. That's just how it is, Liv, and you know it. I understand your frustration; trust me, I'm frustrated, too. But just because Kiara is moving, does not mean we will never see her again. Kie – you are never going to be able to get rid of us."
Kiara runs a hand over her face, ignoring Lena's hand on her knee and Liv's watchful stare. What she wants to say is no, no she doesn't understand. That she feels like she's being abandoned all over again; that the people she once trusted with her entire life, are shipping her out.
That she's absolutely terrified of what's to come.
But she can't say any of that because the pressure in her chest is at an all-time high. Her emotions are weighing heavily down on her, so much so that she feels like she's living a dream. Or a nightmare.
All she can do is try one more time.
Kiara lifts her head, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She looks Lena straight in the eye, the woman who saved her all those years ago. The woman who rocked her to sleep when she was eight, nine, ten years old and terrified to fall asleep because she didn't want to not wake up. The woman who held her hand through doctor appointments and medical procedures and promised her that she would never leave her side.
The woman that Kiara allowed herself to love and be loved by.
Her voice is pitiful once she's able to find it. "Please don't send me to live with them. Please, Lena. I'll do anything."
Lena reaches over and presses a kiss into Kiara's forehead. When she pulls back, tears have stained her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, love. It's out of my hands."
The older woman lets out a breathy sigh. "If you need a couple of minutes, that is completely fine, but Beca and Chloe are downstairs. I need you to come down when you're ready."
Kiara pulls away once more, her own tears escaping her control.
She waits ten minutes before leaving Olivia's hold and slowly making her way down the stairs toward Lena's office. Ten minutes of her chest aching, her head pounding, and her heart just hurting, as she laid in bed, wanting nothing more than to stay there for the rest of her life.
But she knows she can't.
So, ten minutes after Lena leaves, she goes into her bathroom and tosses water on her face, knowing that she looks even more exhausted and run-down than she normally does. She tries to ignore the heaviness in her limbs (the stress of the last week has not been the best for her health; she's been sleeping more and has been experiencing an increase in pain, though she is avoiding thinking about that part), and the familiar tightness in her chest. She takes her time going down the stairs, careful not to make her head swim or to miss a step. She uses her hand against the wall to support her as she makes her way to the end of the hall, tugging her sweatshirt tighter around her torso when she finally reaches Lena's office.
Kiara takes a deep breath before stepping over the threshold.
She's spent a lot of time being stared at. By the kids she used to go to school with; foster parents, teachers, doctors… it never gets any easier.
A chill goes through her spine, though, when she meets Beca's – and then Chloe's – gaze for the first time since she met them late that one night.
A night that Kiara wishes she could go back in time and change.
Kiara has tried not to think about them, or about Beca, more specifically. About how there was a hint of familiarity, the first time she had looked at her. Or how they, somehow, both have the same piercings on their left ears. How, even for the few moments they spent together, Kiara could tell that her and Beca share the same smirk.
Or how, besides the fact that she gave her up for adoption, Beca, again, had signed the termination papers without a beat of hesitation.
She looks away from Beca - the woman remaining silent upon her arrival - as soon as their eyes meet, leaning up against the wall.
Lena is the first one to greet her. "Hi, Kie. Why don't you come take a seat next to me, love?"
Kiara allows her gaze to fall to the ground, away from Beca and Chloe, away from Kyle, who is sitting in the chair that Lena normally sits in during their sessions. Lena is sitting on the couch Kiara normally sits on, and even though Lena's betrayal stings more than anything, she also knows that Lena is the only one she trusts and feels safe around in this situation.
She pushes herself off the wall and instantly regrets it, the blood rushing to her head just like it always does. Kiara tries to fight it, but has to close her eyes against the dizzy spell, her hand blindly reaching out to grab the wall for support.
When she feels stable enough to open her eyes, heat rises to her cheeks under Beca and Chloe's watchful stares. She tries desperately to ignore them, shuffling over to Lena, until she is safely down beside her on the cushion, sitting so close to the older woman that their thighs are touching.
"Good?" Lena mutters under her breath, her hand going to rest on top of Kiara's.
"Mhmm." Kie leans back, staring at the ground in front of her. Let's get this over with.
Kyle clears his throat, summoning the attention of the entire room. "So, I think it feels a little silly to start off with introductions, seeing how everyone has met. But Beca, Chloe, why don't you two introduce yourselves to Kiara, and then maybe we can get started."
Despite everything telling her not to, Kiara turns her hand around and squeezes Lena's tightly.
Lena doesn't let her let go.
"Um, actually, Kiara, I don't think I ever introduced myself to you the other night." Chloe starts talking, the redhead shifting in her seat with her own hand in Beca's. "I'm Beca's wife, Chloe. It's really nice to officially meet you. Beca and I - we're so excited to be here."
Kiara never once lets her eyes leave the ground.
"And I'm uh… I'm Beca." A short laugh escapes Beca's mouth, causing Kiara to tense at the unexpected nature of the reaction. "I guess I'm your birth mom."
Yeah, she sounds really glad to be here.
Before Kiara gets the chance to retort, Kyle breaks in. "That's great, thank you, both. And thank you for coming all this way. I know the drive from the city is a long one."
"Oh, it's no worries at all. We're willing to do whatever it is to make this work."
It's Chloe speaking again, and Kiara feels something tug inside of her chest. She brushes it away, not wanting to deal with whatever it is right now.
"That's great to hear. So, basically, as I've explained to you both, and as we've explained to Kiara, this first meeting is just going to be for you three to get acquainted with each other. We want to make sure everyone involved is comfortable enough for the move to happen, and that starts here." Kyle opens his notepad on his knee, physically and mentally preparing himself for this shit show to begin. "Lena, do you have anything to add before we start?"
Lena doesn't remove her grasp from Kiara's. "Sure. Let me start by saying that I also appreciate you both making the journey. It means a lot to both Kiara and myself. But let me also say that I am here as Kiara's person. To make sure that her voice is heard in all of this. So, if, at any point, this gets too difficult, and she wants out - that's it. We're calling it."
Kiara doesn't know if Beca and Chloe agree. She's too focused on feeling the comfort of Lena's protection.
"Very good. Let's get started then. Beca, I know you wanted to begin with something?"
There's more shifting in front of Kiara, and from where her gaze lands she can see Beca fiddling around with something in her bag. Soon enough, a small box is being pushed across the coffee table that separates the two groups. Kiara stares at it, before daring to flick her gaze to meet Beca's eyes.
Beca almost flinches in surprise. "I um… I know your birthday was a few days ago. It's just a little something, no strings attached or anything, obviously. But we uh… we just wanted to say happy birthday."
For the first time since allowing herself to fully comprehend the woman sitting in front of her, Kiara picks up on something. A whiff of discomfort. A hint of fear. And it's all coming from Beca.
Kiara remains leaning back against the couch, a bit of her fire returning. "I don't need to be bribed by you. Nothing you say or do is going to make me want to go home with you."
"Kiara—"
Beca immediately shakes her head. "No, that's not—". She takes a deep breath, before saying more words in a single sentence than she has since the session started. "I can understand why it may seem like that, but I promise it's just a little birthday gift. You don't even have to open it if you don't want to."
Silence falls over them once more, until Kyle can't seem to handle it anymore. "Great. Thank you, Beca. Now, obviously, this all came about really fast. Beca, Chloe, maybe you could tell us what you're hoping to get out of this meeting, and then Kie, you can do the same."
Kiara rubs her hand over her face, gently massaging her temple, before looking up expectantly.
Beca gives her the smallest hint of a smile. Like she's trying to communicate some sort of familiarity to the kid she gave birth to. But at Kiara's stoic expression, she gulps, checking with Chloe, who nods encouragingly before turning back to Kiara. "I'm just…I'm looking forward to getting to know you. To figure out what we – what I – can do, to make this work. For all of us."
Chloe gives Beca's hand a squeeze, taking her own turn to look at Kiara through tear-filled eyes. "Same here. I'm really excited to get to know you, Kiara, and bring you into our family."
Kiara's eyes roll, shaking her head in disbelief at the two women sitting in front of her that, supposedly, want to 'make this work' and 'get to know her', yet are forcing her to do the last thing that she wants to do.
"Kiara, do you want to share what you're looking to get out of this session?"
She scoffs. "I want it to be over with, does that count?"
Lena chastises her gently. "Kie…"
"No." Kiara pulls her hand away from the older woman, but still remains pressed against her side. She looks from Kyle to Lena as she speaks. "I'm not going to sit here and play nice. I've told you both, multiple times, that I do not want this to happen. I'm not going to sit here and…and lie and act like everything's okay when it's not."
Fury builds up inside of her, and she turns on Beca and Chloe. "Seriously, though – why are you here? Why are you doing this? Give me one good reason that I should even entertain the idea of going anywhere with you."
To Kiara's surprise, Beca offers a shrug. "No, you're right. I mean, we're complete strangers. I wouldn't expect you to be onboard from the start." It's the first time she actually seems confident in the answers she's giving the teen, even if Kiara bristles at her response. But she keeps pushing forward, albeit with the slightest bit of hesitance - and awkwardness - with the second part. "If we're being honest, I couldn't stop thinking about you, after that night. I think I slept maybe ten minutes—"
Kiara cuts her off. "So, it's a guilt thing?"
Beca stumbles over her words, any sort of confidence slipping through her fingers. "No, I mean—"
"Great, so this is all fueled by guilt over…what? That you put me up for adoption? That you didn't know I was still in foster care? That I'm sick?" Her eyebrow arches, daring either Beca or Chloe to answer her. Beca falls silent, deflated, and avoids Kiara's gaze. "Well? Which one is it?"
Chloe holds out a gentle hand, quickly picking up the slack for her flustered wife. "Kiara, I think what Beca's trying to say, is that this came as a shock – to all of us. We had no idea that you were still waiting for a home, and that was just something that neither Beca nor I could live knowing."
"Hate to break it to you, but there was no 'shock' for me. I was fully aware of the fact that I was never adopted – that I was still in foster care." Tears burn at the back of Kiara's eyes, and she tries her best to focus on Lena's touch. Grounding. Calming. "And I've had a home since I was eight. I don't need another one."
"You told us you were getting emancipated, Kiara. If you consider this place your home, why—"
Kiara interrupts Beca faster than she has all afternoon. Sure, she's had the same conversation with Lena and Kyle, and even Liv at the beginning of the process before she told her what the actual reason for wanting to get emancipated was, but she will not be justifying her reasoning for any part of her life with Beca and Chloe. "That is none of your business. I do not owe you anything let alone any sort of explanation about-"
"Kie, they're just trying to understand—"
"They don't get to! They don't get to understand!" The pain in Kiara's chest starts to grow, just like it always does when she starts to get upset, but all she can fully acknowledge is the anger. She glares at Beca. "I don't care if you grew up with a Mommy and Daddy that bought you everything and anything that you wanted, or if you have never been told 'no'. I'm not some… some pawn that you can just…manipulate into doing whatever you want and telling you whatever you want to hear!"
Kyle tries once more, closing his notepad and setting it on the table in front of him. "Kie, I think that's a pretty unfair assumption—"
"Is it? Because from…from wh-where I'm sitting—" Kiara's rant is cut off by a harsh cough ripping through her chest. She turns away from Lena, trying to get her arm up so that she can cover her mouth. Her heart pounds irregularly against her ribcage as her body desperately tries to compensate and get her breathing back under control. Her chest burns, her head swims, and tears continue to stream down her face – both from frustration and fear from not being able to breath.
Through the haze, she can feel one of Lena's hands on her back, rubbing soothing circles, with the other one keeping a firm hold on Kiara's own hand. She can vaguely hear Beca and Chloe talking – or maybe it's just Chloe, asking what's wrong – and Kyle answering them, but it's hard to try and understand what they're saying when Kiara is a little preoccupied with trying not to pass out.
Instead, she tries her hardest to listen for Lena's quiet reassurances.
"Breathe, Kie… you got it, sweetheart. Nice and easy." She repeats the same mantra that she always does, despite Kiara's coughing getting more persistent and more aggressive.
Her throat is completely raw by the time she is able to calm herself down. Her cheeks are damp from the tears that managed to escape, and her entire body feels like it's on fire. Any fight that she had in her has effectively disappeared, exhaustion instead instantly weighing her down.
When she leans back, painfully, against the couch cushion, Lena finally addresses the room. "Okay, I think that's enough for today."
Kyle starts to stand. "Lena, we've only been here for twenty minutes…"
As Lena helps Kiara to her feet, her steady arms holding her the entire time, she responds with the same firm, no-nonsense tone that she often takes with doctors or nurses or even social workers, when her kids are in trouble. "And we're done for today. You can all come back tomorrow. Kiara needs to rest. This was too much all at once – which I had already told you it would be."
The blood is swimming in Kiara's head, so much so that she doesn't hear Kyle's answer, and instead only hears Lena's response.
"Kyle, we're not having this conversation right now. Beca, Chloe, I apologize for cutting the meeting short, but that's just how it is sometimes. You are more than welcome to come back tomorrow, as long as Kiara is feeling up for it. But right now, she needs to go lie down."
Kiara leans all of her weight into Lena, the woman the same steady, comforting, and safe force she always is. "Come on, Kie. Let's get you upstairs, love."
She has never been more grateful.
Beca has never left a place faster than she leaves Kiara's group home, walking out of that place like her pants are on fire.
Talk about a complete and utter failure.
She really doesn't know what she was expecting, going into her Kiara's home and thinking it was going to be smooth sailing for the entire appointment.
Then again, she also didn't think she would ever feel a fear so terrifying as what she felt when Kiara started coughing. Never, for as long as she lives, will Beca ever forget the way that cough had sounded coming from Kiara's throat, making her face turn beet red, and the way tears had streamed helplessly down her cheeks as she struggled to breath.
It took everything in Beca not to jump up and shake the coughs from her, anything to get her to stop.
Or to run in the other direction.
She walks wordlessly, hand-in-hand with Chloe, from the front door after Kyle recommends a hotel to stay at for the night and he tells them he'll call them with a new time for the next day. She barely says goodbye, instead high tailing it to the car, opening the passenger door for Chloe, and closing her in before she's even fully in the seat.
Beca's hands are shaking by the time she's behind the wheel.
"Bec, are you sure you're okay to drive? Why don't we just wait a minute, okay? There's no rush."
She feels Chloe's hand on her upper arm while Beca runs an exasperated hand over her face, her own breathing slightly erratic. "Beca, breathe."
Beca hears Chloe loud and clear, but the only thing that the brunette can do, is laugh. A big, surprising, belly laugh that doesn't stop even while Chloe looks at her like she has ten heads.
When Beca catches her breath, all she can say is, "Well. I guess there's no question about where she got her stubbornness from."
It takes a moment for the words to click inside of Chloe's brain, before she is laughing, too. "Bec – that was so horrible."
Beca rubs her hands over her face, nodding in agreement. "Oh, I know. And I don't think I've ever been more terrified."
"Right?! I mean what was that? Was she really going to pass out? I mean from what we read, the condition that Kiara has can manifest in a couple of different ways, but that was…"
"Horrifying."
"Exactly."
A comfortable silence falls over the Mitchell women, both of them trying to work through their own thoughts.
Chloe, trying to figure out how she needs to be there for Beca, and trying to push away the fact that they had just witnessed a terrifying medical crisis that neither of the two more experienced adults seemed phased by.
Beca, trying to figure out how she truly is feeling after being downright rejected by the kid she gave birth to. Realizing, not for the first time, that she is sorely out of her element.
And both of them wondering what to do next.
Beca grips on to Chloe's hand, staring out the windshield to where Lena's house stands facing them. The lights are on in most of the windows, all except for one on the top floor. She can't help but wonder if that's where Kiara sleeps or if there's another kid - another kid that Kiara grew up with - that has that bedroom. Someone that knows Kiara, knows her likes and dislikes. Knows what to do when she starts coughing instead of helplessly sitting on the couch doing nothing. "I don't know what to do, Chlo."
Chloe sighs, turning to face her wife with a soft smile on her face. She turns her hand around to interlock it with Beca's, giving the top of her hand a gentle kiss. "We go find that hotel and try again tomorrow."
Thank you so much for reading! I look forward to reading any thoughts/comments/predictions that you want to share!
See you next time! xx