Thanks so much for your patience!
Icedragone - Love that you caught that Beca really hasn't been saying much... I wonder what it means...hmmm... ;) I love Olivia and I kind of want to write more of her but also don't want to risk duplicating anything that is too similar to Izzy and Quinn's relationship from Let Us Love You. Thank you so much for the well wishes and for your support! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Guest - Thank you so much for your patience - school and work is truly kicking my butt but we're doing our best and when I promise this fic won't be abandoned, I mean it. So glad you're still loving the fic. I totally get what you're saying about the ending of chapter 5 and Beca's willingness to let Kiara go again. The purpose for that was two-fold: both to move the story along, and also to serve a specific purpose later on. Interesting prediction on the ending/Beca's father! I don't want to give too much away about either Beca's or Chloe's family because I have a chapter strictly involving them that I'm very excited to write (heavily inspired by Life Unexpected, too) and so I don't want to spoil anything - but it's coming. If you have any predictions about that, though, I'd be happy to hear them :) We're still sort of in a transition period, but the mother-daughter angst is coming for sure. Thank you so much for your continued support! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Lawfan2016 - Yay! I'm so glad that you're enjoying the fic! I know it certainly has strayed from predominantly Life Unexpected plot lines, but I'm excited to see where this goes :) Thank you so much for your support! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
22-Ti - Beca and Chloe are certainly trying their best! Not everyone may think so, but that just adds to the drama ;) Thanks so much for your support and I hope you enjoy the chapter :)
Chapter 6
Goodbyes are hard.
Kiara's had enough of them in her lifetime to know. Ironically enough, not from the foster care aspect of her life, but from the whole chronic-medical-condition aspect instead, and living with kids in similar situations.
She's been to eleven funerals during her time of living with Lena. Ten of which were for kids that she had grown incredibly close to. Coming face to face with that – the morbidity of it all, having to say goodbye and knowing that there truly is no possible way for them ever to see each other again – is – was probably the hardest thing about living in Lena's home.
Well, she doesn't have to worry about that anymore.
Instead, she just had to say goodbye to her brothers and sisters. The woman who Kiara often regarded as her mother.
She had to do it all without knowing what the future will hold. Will she get to see any of them before their own conditions worsen? Will she ever be able to hug Lena again? What about Olivia?
Will she get to see any of them before her heart rate flatlines?
There's no way to know. And she hates it with every ounce of her being.
Kiara doesn't say a single word the entire car ride into the city. She sits stock-still in the backseat of Kyle's car, her suitcases piled in his trunk and her backpack sitting on the seat beside her. It takes everything in her not to fall asleep, but she forces herself to remain alert, not wanting to be blindsided.
Fear courses through her veins, her hands having a slight tremor in them while simply sitting down. She can't even think about what she's walking into. Not when the only thing on her mind is the fact that she is without her support system – without her family – for the first time in eight years.
She's never felt more alone.
A single tear rolls down Kiara's cheek. She wipes it away without a word.
"Kiara, we're just about there. How're we feeling?"
We? Kiara almost scoffs. There is no 'we' in this situation.
She doesn't answer.
Kyle sighs, turning on to another busy city street. It's nearing six o'clock – dinner time at Lena's. "I know this is scary, Kie. I get it. But think about how great it's going to be to be in a home, with a family – with your mom. I really think this is going to be good for you."
At least someone is excited.
Kyle doesn't fight her on her second lack of response, and instead pulls up to the front of one of the hundreds of high risers in the city. He puts the car in park with a sigh, leaning down so he can look out the front passenger window, letting out a low whistle. "They have a valet and everything, Kie."
Kiara remains silent, just letting her fingers dance against the rough fabric of her seatbelt.
It's been three weeks since Kiara agreed to move in with Beca and Chloe – an agreement that came only after she was promised she would be allowed to talk to Lena, Liv, and the rest of the people at home whenever she wants, as well as visit periodically. The three weeks involved a few more mediation sessions with Lena, and occasional get togethers at home, but she's yet to spend time alone with Beca, mostly due to her own fear of something going wrong while they're together.
Though they've been building up to this, every bit of panic, regret, and self-doubt came crashing down on her when she was forced to say goodbye to her real family this afternoon.
Suddenly, she is no longer on board with the idea.
She zones out as Kyle greets the valet man in the red suit get-up, her mind whirring all on its own. It's hard not to feel like a zombie as Kyle hands the man his keys and gets her bags from the trunk, quickly opening her door, too.
It's hard not to let the tears spring free as she climbs out of the back of the car.
The blood rushes to her head just like it always does, and Kiara has to close her eyes and grip the door handle, so she doesn't fall over. She feels Kyle's hand on her arm, focusing on her breathing until the dizzy spell passes.
Normally when something like this happens, she'd open her eyes and force a smile on her face. Reassure whatever adult she's with that she's fine. She doesn't bother doing it this time, though. Instead, she just shrugs off Kyle's hand, and steps away from the car.
"Kiara…"
"Let's just get this over with. I want to go to bed."
Thankfully, Kyle doesn't fight her. He lifts her backpack onto his shoulder and wheels her suitcase beside him. Kiara follows three, four steps behind him – arms crossed over her chest and eyes glued to the ground.
She doesn't look at the lobby they walk through. She doesn't pick her head up as they pass by three different people that greet them. She stares at her reflection in the sparkling tiles on the floor as they walk into the elevator.
Kiara slightly lifts her eyes to see what button another man in a red suit, pushes.
PH. Penthouse.
Of course.
The ride feels like an eternity, the elevator quickly moving through the floors of the giant building. With every passing second, every passing level, Kiara's anxiety rises. Her palms grow sweaty, her teeth digging into the inside of her bottom lip and causing a small drop of blood to escape.
"Penthouse. Welcome home, Ms. Mitchell."
Kiara's stomach lurches at the man's words, further freezing when the elevator dings and the doors slide open.
She flinches when Kyle places his hand on the small of her back, not exactly having the strength to fight him as he pushes her forward over the elevator threshold.
Dread fills her with each passing step as they get closer and closer to the ominous black door at the end of the hallway. The silence of the building is so different than the silence that came along with living at the end of the cal-de-sac in the suburbs of New York.
This is more sinister. Like all of Kiara's fears waiting to completely surface.
"It's going to be okay, Kie."
Kyle reaches out to rest his hand on Kiara's shoulder when they stop outside of the door. Kiara shrugs it off, shoving her hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt. She speaks through gritted teeth. "Stop saying that. You have no idea what could happen."
"Kiara—"
Kyle's final plea is abruptly cut off by the door in front of them slowly opening with a quiet swish against the floor. Kiara finds herself freezing once again, staring in pure terror as the door opens wider, revealing the two women that she met for the first time less than a month ago.
The two women who have single-handedly uprooted her life.
The two women that she is suddenly being forced to live with.
Kyle clears his throat from behind her as Kiara continues to be locked in a dual stare down with Beca, who has a soft smile on her face, Chloe's hand in hers. "Beca, Chloe. Nice to see you again."
Chloe is the first one to respond, her wife not making any effort to look away from the daughter whose existence she ignored for the last sixteen years. "Hey guys! Welcome!" She turns with a cheery smile, one that may be soothing to some, but is simply annoying to Kiara. She's grown to figure that much out over the last few weeks. "It is so great to finally have you here. Please, come on in."
With her stomach churning, Kiara allows Kyle to lead her into the apartment.
Or small mansion.
The space is wide and expansive, with sleek furniture made of dark wood, and décor that probably costs more than Lena's whole house. A chandelier hangs from the ceiling above a long dining room table that Kiara can't think of a single reason as to why a household with only two people would need. Her eyes wander to the even more impressive kitchen with granite countertops and state of the art appliances, back to a living room with trophies that are undeniable gramophones from the actual Grammys, lining the mantel of the fireplace. A large, leather sectional wraps around the space, looking far too comfortable at this moment, but also looking mildly uninhabited.
It's cold and…stiff. Like a museum. Nowhere near as comfy and homey as Lena's.
Lena's, whose living room is so small that everyone has to be squeezed in on the couch to fit. Whose walls are lined with framed pictures of family members past and present. The books, well-read and well-loved, filling the bookshelves not just downstairs, but all throughout the house. The plants that are good for air quality, the soft color scheme and the natural light coming in through all of the windows because sunshine is medicine for the soul.
But Kiara can already tell that this is nowhere near like Lena's.
Because this isn't home.
Kiara fights back the stinging in the back of her eyes, gripping her hands together as her gaze drops to the ground. She will not fall apart. Not here. Not now. Not until she is finally alone.
"Should we uh…move to the couch?" Beca's voice breaks through Kiara's ever growing spiral of anxiety.
"That's a great idea." With his hand still on her lower back, Kyle guides Kiara to the couch, where she sits at the furthest end, pressed up against the arm so that only her social worker has the opportunity to sit down next to her. He obliges, shooting only a mild look of concern her way, as Beca and Chloe sit on the completely opposite end, their hands never unlinking. "So, how have you ladies been since the last time we spoke? Work keeping you busy?"
Beca seems to stumble over her words again, causing Chloe to smile at her reassuringly, and answer herself. "Always. Clinic has been busy, thankfully, and Beca has been doing some pre-production on a few upcoming projects."
"That sounds exciting. I know it was a rather crazy time when we first started talking."
Chloe grins again. "Yeah, they definitely come and go in waves. Most days are busier than others, I'm afraid."
Beca clears her throat, forcing a nod as she looks over at Chloe rather than trying to look at Kiara. "It's good to see you again, Kiara."
An uncomfortable silence falls over the room, both with the sudden redirect of the conversation, someone actually speaking to Kiara for the first time, and with the adults all shifting in their seats and waiting for someone to take the lead. Kiara burns a hole in the floor with her gaze, wanting nothing more than to completely disappear. She brings her hand up to rub away the ache in her chest, of course bringing all three sets of eyes to her.
Her cheeks flush red, discreetly shaking her head at Kyle's concerned expression to let him know that she's fine.
The corner of Kiara's lips twitches up in the smallest hint of a smile. She nods in Beca's direction. "Yeah, you, too."
"How was the drive over?"
Kiara finds herself staring at Beca for the formality of the conversation. Sure, they haven't spent a lot of time together, and they've only spent a couple of hours talking without Lena being right there, but Kiara thought that they had at least gotten past the how's the weather stage. But then again, Kiara isn't exactly disappointed that they're not all celebratory. "It was fine."
Beca slowly nods, running her hands along the length of her thighs. "How um… how are you doing with…everything? The move, I mean."
Kiara has long gotten used to other people listening in on her and Beca's conversations. Most of the time she's thankful for the audience, especially considering it is normally Lena and she'd jump on Beca and Chloe the minute something went wrong. But right now, she just feels like she's under a microscope. She shrugs, not being able to stop herself from thinking about the tearful goodbye, and the equally – if not more – tearful last couple of nights that she's spent with Liv, both of them sharing Kiara's twin bed and just dreading the inevitable moment of separation. "It hasn't been the best."
Beca winces. "I'm sorry. I can't even imagine how difficult this all is."
Kiara doesn't respond, because why should she? It's not her job to make Beca feel better about the fact that she uprooted her entire life.
"And I promise that Chloe and I aren't trying to buy your affection or anything… but we thought that this would be good to have both so that we can keep in contact with you and so you can keep in contact with Lena and Olivia and the other kids… our phone numbers are already programmed into it and Chloe bought a case, but if you don't like it—"
Tuning out Beca's rambling, Kiara watches as the older brunette reaches behind her and then later extends a new cellphone, completely unwrapped and sans bow or other decorative features, but in a nice, solid dark green case. Kiara takes it hesitantly, feeling the weight of the phone in her hand and jumping ever-so-slightly when the screen lights up with what has to be the brightest setting. There's a generic wallpaper on the lock screen, but a few random notifications are already waiting for her.
She doesn't pay much attention to it. Instead, she hits the power button and places it down on the couch beside her. Lena already told her that Beca and Chloe were going to be getting her a cellphone both in case of emergencies and so that they could maintain contact. While Kiara is grateful, the longer she sits on this couch, the more she is starting to feel her resentment grow.
Apparently, though, she lets her silence display her true emotions loud and clear, because Kyle gently clears his throat in warning.
"Thank you. I appreciate it."
Beca's shoulders slouch just enough so that Kiara can see her frustration. She lets herself get excited, hoping that that will be the end of the welcomes, but Chloe, of course, proves her wrong. "Would you like to see the rest of house, Kiara? We can bring your bags to your room first and then—"
Just hearing Chloe's excitement makes Kiara tired.
"Actually, I um… I don't…" Kiara closes her eyes and lets out a soft sigh. When she reopens them to the room, Beca and Chloe are watching her with unaltered concern. "It's been a long day… I was actually hoping I might be able to just, I don't know… call it a night?"
Kiara watches as concern passes over both Beca and Chloe's faces, and she can practically see them silently communicating with each other.
Meanwhile, Kiara can't help but think this is it. This is the moment that will show Kiara whether or not this situation even has a semblance of working.
Because six o'clock bedtimes, are a thing.
Feeling exhausted after being awake for less than twelve hours, is a thing.
Simply not having enough energy to smile, is a thing.
And understanding that sometimes, there really is no other answer besides yes, is a thing – at least it is for Kiara, and that's something that Beca and Chloe are going to need to get on board with sooner rather than later.
Eventually, though, under both Kiara and Kyle's watchful gaze, Beca nods. "Of course. Let's head down the hall to your room."
Beca and Chloe lead the way, Kyle standing behind Kiara as she stands and shuffles along after them. She half-heartedly listens as Chloe points things out as they travel in a group down the long hallway stemming off of the spotless dining room, focusing more so on putting one foot in front of the other and not allowing her own panic to build up inside of her more than it already has.
When they get to a bedroom halfway down the hall, though, Kiara stops abruptly just as her foot crosses the threshold.
It's huge.
The room, the bed, the closet that is hiding behind a slightly open door on the other side. The bedroom that also has an accent wall painted a deep green, with everything else white and gray, is the size of two – if not three – of the bedrooms back home with Lena. She can't even imagine laying on the queen-sized – king? – bed, by herself, the mattress undoubtedly able to swallow her whole.
Is that a bathroom on the other wall? And what in the world—
"What is that?" Kiara points her finger accusingly at the offending outfits hanging off of the drawer handles of the dresser perched in the corner. At first, she is sure that Beca and Chloe think that she's talking about the wall of floor-to-ceiling windows that cover the adjoining wall, but when Beca grimaces, she knows that they figured it out.
'It' being the fact that they realized Kiara is talking about the set of khaki pants and the white button-down with a navy-blue cardigan that has very clearly been pressed and dry cleaned for her arrival.
"So…that is your uniform for sch—"
"I'm not wearing it."
Beca looks pained as she tries again. "I know it's not the best thing—"
"No."
"It's not that bad, sweetheart, and I personally think you'll look great in it!" Chloe tries – valiantly – to sell it, but Kiara doesn't budge.
She knew that she would need to go to an actual school. It was one of the things she fought hardest against, but with Beca and Chloe working so much and no one being able to be home all day, homeschooling is no longer an option.
But this monstrosity, Kiara didn't agree to.
"Absolutely not." She glares daggers at Beca. "Didn't you say that your dad put you in private school and you hated him for it?"
Beca flinches once more, her cheeks flushing. "Yes, but St. Agnes is one of the best schools in the city—"
"I don't need the best. I need somewhere I can get a diploma from." Not that that matters, but still. The point remains the same.
"Kie, Beca and Chloe spent a lot of time finding a school that was close by and that had a good support staff. Not to mention the money—"
"I didn't ask them to spend the money. I am perfectly content with going to a crappy, underfunded public school without the additional 'support staff'."
Kyle arches his eyebrow in silent warning but gives a verbal one anyways. "Kiara."
Kiara crosses her arms over her chest, turning to face her social worker head on. "Kyle."
"Look, we really didn't mean for this to be an issue. We just thought that St. Agnes would have the best curriculum and environment for you, love."
Kiara bites back an how would you know that you barely know me retort shot directly at Chloe, instead focusing once again on keeping the tears that are burning the back of her eyes from spilling over. She digs her teeth into her bottom lip, shaking her head as she looks around the unfamiliar room, with the unfamiliar paint, and the unfamiliar furniture, and the unfamiliar people…
"Can I just…I need to lay down." Her hand is shaking when she pushes her hair up and over her forehead. She needs to be alone. She needs Beca and Chloe to leave, she needs to actually be able to hear her own thoughts. She needs space.
Kyle immediately takes a step forward. "Are you—"
"I'm fine." She shrugs his concerned hand off of her shoulder. "It's been a long day. I can't…I can't deal with anymore of this right now."
If Beca and Chloe are hurt by Kiara's statement, Kiara doesn't see. She keeps her back to the women and instead focuses on where Kyle is smiling down at her, as though silently reminding her that if she wants to be alone, that means his time at the Mitchell Penthouse has come to an end.
He sighs, and Kiara is almost certain that she sees a few tears in his eyes. "Alright. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Okay…" He places her bags down on the ground by the bed, coming back over to her and resting his hands on her shoulders. "Call me. Day or night. About anything – understood? I'll be back to check on you in a few weeks."
Kiara ignores the burning in her throat and nods her response.
"I'm so happy for you, Kie – I want you to be happy for yourself, too."
Knowing that Kiara won't be able to answer without succumbing to her own tears, Kyle simply brings her into his embrace. He holds her in his arms, gently rubbing her back for a few moments, until they separate.
It isn't long before Kiara is saying goodbye yet again.
Except this time, she's left with two women who aren't much more than a pair of strangers.
Thanks so much for reading and for your continued support! I look forward to hearing any thoughts you may want to share :)
Winter break is coming up, so updates will hopefully be more frequent within the next few weeks! See you then xx