"All I want
is to be able to be there
when you say you need me."
Courtney Peppernell, "Pillow Thoughts II"
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Nemuri's screech could be heard even outside the teacher's lounge and even standing outside, Shota winced at the way her voice made his ears ring.
He already dreaded opening that door and to experience the loud noise even closer.
Maybe he should just skip the teachers conference.
"SHHHHH!" That was Yamada, trying to shush her on the other side of the door.
Well, that was new.
Shota blinked sleepily. Yamada was usually not one to hush someone.
"It's true…. y own eyes." He could hear his former class mate whispering.
"… sure?" Snipe had apparently asked something.
"Pretty… kitchen… All Might… that was all!" Fragments of Yamada's voice filtered through.
Shota frowned. There was a strange choking sound coming from the inside.
"… green… witty… Omega…"
Black eyes grew wide and Shota wasted no time to rip the door to the teachers' lounge open. Quirk activated and glaring viciously at his colleagues, that sat huddled around Yamada, who had paled dramatically at the underground hero's entrance.
Sweat was forming on the assembled heroes' foreheads.
"Stop gossiping about my private life!" Shota hissed at them, but Mic wasn't backing down, pointing an accusing finger at him.
"Your private life stopped being private the moment it flashed me with its lace pan… MMMPFH!" Yamada never managed to finish the sentence because Shota's capture weapon was now wrapped around his mouth and all the way down to his upper chest, effectively keeping him from sprouting anymore nonsense.
Dragging his friend closer to him with a little more force than strictly necessary, Shota hissed. "This conversation is over!"
"I apologize, young Aizawa. But I think there is one thing that should be addressed, especially considering the USJ attack. Is it safe to bring a love interest to the campus?" Yagi spoke up, looking very uncomfortable for having to bring this up.
Shota glared at the man and was about to tell him where to shove his concerns, when…
"Ohohohoho! Such a lively conversation on this bright morning!"
Nedzu had silently moved into the room, gleefully taking in the tense atmosphere. The rodent was probably relishing in the chaos.
"You don't need to worry, Yagi-san. Potter-san passed all my background checks with flying colours." The mammal spoke up, while helping himself to some tea.
Aizawa choked.
Fuck… he had already feared that his boss had done something along those lines.
"You did a background check on Eraser's boyfriend without any of them knowing?" Cementos frowned. "Isn't that a bit excessive? Not to say illegal?"
"Oh, it certainly would have been, if I had just done it when they started their relationship. That would have been most unethical, indeed." Nedzu laughed into his tea, causing some of it to spill.
"You already knew who he was." Shota groaned in understanding, sending his boss a dark glowering glance. "That's why you let him in after he called here when I got injured."
"That's correct. Potter-san is an interesting and accomplished young man, especially considering his disposition." Nedzu confirmed happily
There were a few raised eyebrows in the room after that.
"Potter-san is the elusive CEO of KURO labs." Nedzu revealed, laughing impishly at the shocked faces surrounding him.
"WHAT?!"
"Oh yes. Isn't that amazing? How a male unmated, quirkless Omega had managed this…"
Another round of mouths hanging open… before a storm of mutterings picked up.
"How did he manage to become CEO of such a big enterprise?"
"Unmated Omega? Normally they barely achieve their Highschool diploma before ending up bonded…"
"…Or in the redlight districts…"
"Quirkless?!"
"That's really rare these days."
"… must be hard…"
"I heard Quirkless often suffer from harsh discrimination… the statistic shows high suicidal rate among them…"
"CEO… of KURO labs…"
Shota felt the nerve under his right eye twitch in annoyance.
Those fucking gossips!
None of this was any of their fucking business!
He was about to slap the whole bunch with his capture woman when Nedzu spoke up again.
"It's even more astonishing when you know that KURO labs had been founded before the age of quirks by an influential British family and had been used for decades as a mean to launder money for different Yakuza and other dubious groups. The last inheritor before Potter-san had little interest in the firm, leaving it open to a critical amount of mismanagement."
Shota blinked in surprise.
This... was new.
Nedzu had done his homework well, apparently. Looking satisfied with himself, the principal sipped his tea, black eyes gleaming with knowledge.
"Around thirteen years ago Potter-san inherited KURO labs and came to Japan. Barely older than our first years and only with rudimental knowledge of the Japanese language, he almost immediately started to gut and dismantle the original KURO labs. And within the last ten years he rebuilt and expanded it into one of Japan's top three enterprises and one of the biggest research institutes on the Asian continent. I thought it might be smart to know as much as possible about this remarkable young man, who dabbled in medicine, pharmacy, engineering, quirk research and who even holds a few contracts with the hero commission."
The teachers' lounge had fallen silent as the present pro heroes gulped. Some eyeing Aizawa with a mixture of horror and respect… as if he would have chosen Harry because of any of that… It would be illogical to seek a partner for those reasons alone.
But Nedzu had indeed painted an incredible picture of Harry. A powerful young man and well connected but keeping himself mostly elusive and out of the limelight.
The perfect prey for Nedzu's curiosity.
"It was still risky to let him in." Yagi wasn't giving up, but the small rodent sniggered into his cup, shaking his head in dismissal.
"If Potter-san had wanted to cause problems for us or Aizawa-san, he could have very easily done so by now. Taking into accord the circumstances under which the two of you met…" Black beady eyes twinkled in mirth and a small nose twitched in delight.
A startle, disbelieving silence settled once again over the teachers' lounge and Shota felt himself flush at the inglorious reminder of his biggest fuck up.
While Yamada's loud shriek of "Oh my god! So, he really is that Omega?!"
Kayama's sharp gaze was prickling at the base of Shota's neck, as the R-rated heroine slapped her whip into her hand, fixing him with a dangerously sharp smile.
"Eraser, my dear, just… how did that happen? Did you meet by again by chance? … Or did you break protocol and sought him out?"
Shota opted for not responding and instead chose to glare sulkily to the side.
Which was answer enough to colleagues.
Of course, all of them knew about the subway incident. They all knew that he had gotten away with a black eye when Harry had refused to press charges against him. They all knew what Yamada meant when he called Harry 'that Omega'. And they sure as hell knew that he had broken standard assault protocol that demanded that he stayed away from the victim of the attack when he had pursed Harry.
"Hmmm, that's so unlike you, Eraser! So, so naughty!" Kayama purred loudly, before throwing her head back with an excited laugh. "I like it!"
"Ohohohoh! So true. So true!" Nedzu's chackle joined in. "And I found Potter-san to be a quite caring character when he called on your behalf, Aizawa. He was obviously very upset about the danger you had faced. I was indeed quite impressed with Potter-san. I would like to meet him properly for a cup of tea, soon if possible."
Despite the warm feel blooming in his chest at the confirmation that Harry cared, Shota couldn't help but bury his head into his hands.
"Please, for the sake of my sanity, don't!"
Now that the cat was out of the sack, there was no holding Kayama back any longer. She all but snatched Aizawa's phone from him, while Hizashi tried to keep his friend from getting it back.
The blond hero was suppressing a nostalgic smile, as he wrestled with his ever so tired friend while Kayama was grinning madly, her fingers flying over Eraser's phone. It felt like they were back in high school.
Well, as students…
An excited shriek interrupted their small scruffle and they turned to look at the R-rated heroine.
"OHHHHH! He told me to call him Harry! We're meeting Harry tonight! boys pack your wallets, we're going out! Food, drinks and karaoke" Kayama announced, punching a victorious fist in the air and her expression was alight with glee.
Meanwhile, Aizawa looked like he was about to have a stroke. There was this twitch around his right eye… and had there always been that prominent vein ticking on his forehead?
Sensing the impending doom, Cementos, Snipe, All Might and Vlad fled the lounge. While Eraser hunted his two friends through the teachers' lounge, barely keeping himself from strangling them, under the nefarious sound of Nedzu's laugher.
"OHOHOHO! I think, we'll have the teachers' conference tomorrow then."
Meeting Potter-san for a second time was different somehow for Hizashi. The young man was dressed this time, for one. In an expensive suit, his hair was styled and he was wearing glasses. His Omega collar hidden.
He looked still very beautiful and attracted a lot of attention… but this less scandalous and handsome appearance created a huge discrepancy to Aizawa's slouching posture and his casual attire, consisting of a loose sweat shirt and pants… Aizawa's only concession to going out with them had been that he had left his scarf behind and had pulled his hair into a loose ponytail.
The underground hero had scowled all day at Midnight and Hizashi… after he had ceased his attempts to kill them…
And to be honest Mic was surprised that Aizawa had gone along with the plan but maybe he shouldn't have been, since he had already seen Aizawa with Potter-san, but knowing his friends closed off and stand-offish personality it was difficult to imagine him to be so much… softer with the Omega.
But he was.
Simple as that.
The moment Potter-san joined them, Aizawa had stopped scowling so much. His expression had smoothed out when he had greeted Potter-san. There hadn't been any great shows of PDA while out on the streets, only the way Aizawa had positioned himself close to the smaller man, just inches short of touching him. They would talk to each other in hushed tones, that consisted of little teasing remarks and tiny smiles.
They were a couple. No doubt there.
Hizashi caught Kayama's gaze a few times. Her blue eyes were wide in a show of wonder and every once in a while, she would mouth 'wow' or 'Did you see that?' at him. She was bouncing around like a little girl, just barely keeping herself from squealing when Potter-san tugged a wayward lock behind Aizawa's ear when they moved from the restaurant to a small private bar.
As the loud hero had predicted Potter-san… well, Harry-san after the fifth sake, and Kayama got a long like a house on fire.
Boisterous as usual, she had challenged the green-eyed Omega to a drinking contest… an ambitious endeavour that the native Brit had answered with a feral grin and a casual: "Well, then bitches, bottoms up!"
After that there had been no holding them back. Setting each other up with double entendre and lasciviousness, laughing at each other's jokes and at the way they made Hizashi blush and Aizawa groan in embarrassment.
And then came the karaoke bar.
It was… GLORIOUS!
SO MUCH FREAKING FUN!
There was no other word for it! Harry-san could sing so beautifully!
The Brit was going along with most of Hizashi's antics, as they bawled out an old English song under Nemuri's drunken cheers.
Aizawa was mostly silent like he usually was on the rare occasion, he'd agreed to join them on a night out. But whenever Harry laughed or giggled there would be little sparks in Shota's dark eyes. A gentle tenderness at the happiness and brightness the Omega emanated.
It was a new look on Aizawa's face, but one that nearly moved Hizashi to tears. He hadn't seen his friend this content in years.
It was late when Hizashi and Aizawa carried Nemuri's drunk, dead weight between them out of the karaoke bar, with a snickering Harry following them. He was carrying his suit jacket carelessly over his shoulders, tie and shirt collar loosened hours ago.
Both pro heroes were slightly tipsy as well. Hizashi was in high spirts. It had been ages since they had this much fun together.
Suddenly there was a strange noise behind them.
Minding Nemuri between them both men looked over their shoulders. Hizashi felt the blood in his veins freeze at the sight that greeted them.
A thug in shabby clothing and a lizard mutation quirk, if his green scaled skin was an indication. A thug, who was holding a knife to Harry-sans throat. The Omega's brilliant green eyes were wide in shock, his body carefully stiff in the unwanted embrace of his attacker.
Aizawa immediately dropped the drunk woman (Hizashi winced, sending her a silent apology) and reached for his capture weapon… only to be met with empty air.
The underground hero cursed through clenched teeth. His quirk wouldn't do much right now and using Hizashi's would hurt Harry-san as well. Nemuri would have been helpful but she was still out for the count.
Fuck!
Looking into Harry-san bright green eyes, Hizashi shivered, feeling cold despite the hot adrenalin cursing through his veins.
"That's your Omega, right? I can smell it on him, now that I'm this close." The lizard man grinned maliciously at Aizawa, inappropriately pressing his nose into Harry-san's neck, where the Omega collar was visible now.
The dark haired man growled at the taunt, animating the thug only rub salt in the wound.
"You shouldn't let such fragile creatures out of your sight, you know, Alpha? They're so helpless."
Green eyes narrowed dangerously.
Quick as a snake Harry-san grabbed his attacker's arm, digging his thumb deep into the juncture between thumb and forefinger. This caused the thug's hold on the knife to weaken and with a sharp twist on the lizard's wrist, Harry forced the man to drop the weapon and to loosen his hold on him. The Omega didn't waste any second of this advantage and spun around socking the thug straight in the nose and almost simultaneously rammed his knee into the criminal's groin.
The man gave a terrible howl of pain, (that had probably every male in the vicinity wincing in empathy and phantom pain) and dropped like a sack of potatoes. The guy looked horribly pale and was gagging. With a thud he fell to the side.
Mouth hanging open, Hizashi gapped at the fuming Omega, who was now pinning the lizard's head to the pavement with his foot.
"I may be an Omega. But hell, if I'll be dammed if I become some damsel in destress because of that. I don't need an Alpha to keep me safe. I can look after myself, you bastard." Harry seethed, glowering at his attacker before looking over his shoulder at Hizashi and Aizawa.
Under the fierce, green glare of Harry-san, Mic could feel a sweat drop running down his face.
Aizawa had certainly chosen one hell of scary boyfriend. Really, there was nothing frail or helpless about the furious young man in front of them, shouting profanities at the thug, pinned under his expensive shoe.
Turning to Aizawa to tell him so, Hizashi found that the words he wanted to say just vanished from his mind.
Aizawa's face clearly lacked its usually bored and tired expression or terrifying smirks.
No, Aizawa's dark eyes were sparkling and a huge excited grin stretched over his lips.
Hizashi understood then that his friend wasn't just fond of the Omega.
No, and maybe he was stupid for feeling stunned by the realization but…
Aizawa Shota was in love!
Since the unplanned breakfast meeting, something had changed in Hitoshi's training routine. Both, he and Yamada, had been stunned by the reveal that Potter-san was quirkless. Speechlessly, his loud teacher had blinked at the Omega, mouth open and tinted glasses askew on his nose.
Hitoshi had stared at Potter-san, who hadn't moved a muscle but his eyes had seemed a little dimer in the light of their reaction and the following silence.
It was fuelled by an emotion the teen with the brainwashing quirk knew just all too well… resignation.
To see it in some ones else, because of his own behaviour had made Hitoshi chest hurt. And so, he had shrugged and grumbled awkwardly.
"That probably sucks even more than having a villainous quirk. People are usually assholes about that kind of shit."
"Shinsou-kun!" Yamada had frantically tried to admonish him, while Aizawa had stared disapprovingly at him. But Potter-san had thrown his head back, barking out a loud and sincere laugh.
Before Hitoshi had left for training, the Omega had ruffled his wild violet hair that day, winking at him.
Two days later, Aizawa-sensei had tapped his shoulder one day in between classes.
"Harry said to come for breakfast before the usual Saturday training. My flat at 8 o'clock. Be punctual." His teacher had spoken in his usual uninterested and flat tone… and had turned on his heel without waiting for a reply.
The student had been left behind, gapping like an idiot.
But so there had been a new ritual.
Potter-san, who had insisted Hitoshi called him Harry, made breakfast for the three of them and infused Hitoshi and Aizawa-sensei with at least three to four cups of coffee before sending them out for practice. The Omega had berated his teacher for neglecting to look after his trainee sufficiently.
"He's not a baby, you know? I shouldn't have to make sure he eats right before working out." The pro hero had grumbled.
"Says the man who lives of jelly packs and coffee." Harry-san had laughed before putting a bowl with fruit salat in front of them.
All further discussions about the matter had been curbed after that argument.
It had been a few weeks since then. Right now, Hitoshi was eating alone with Harry-san because Aizawa-sensei had been called away for a case with the police. Apparently, the Hero Killer, Stain, had been taken down yesterday by Endeavour and some students from class A-1 had been on the scene.
Hitoshi had kind of expected that Harry-san would send him home, because there was no need to feed the strange teenager today. But instead, he had smiled kindly and had ordered him to wash him hands and to set the table. While the man had proceeded to make pancakes for them, while chatting easily with Shinsou, until…
"Say Shinsou-kun, how did your parents react when your quirk manifested?"
Caught somewhat off guard, Hitoshi shrugged silently.
"How did yours react when they knew you were quirkless?" He grumbled.
"Fair point." Harry-san winced. "Although, I hope your parents reacted better than my guardians."
"Your guardians?" The teen blinked, catching onto the careful wording.
"Hmm, my parents died when I was still really little. Long before manifesting a quirk would have happened. I grew up with my aunt and uncle."
Hitoshi frowned. Harry smiled wryly.
"They liked things that were normal. They and my cousin had weak, moderate quirks. They wouldn't have reacted favourable to a quirk like yours, I can say that. But they abhorred my freakish quirklessness."
Hitoshi felt stricken by the bitter expression on Harry-san's face.
"Did they hurt you?"
"My aunt and uncle didn't like to touch me all that much. So, they didn't beat me if that's what you mean. I quickly learned to duck, though." Harry snorted, looking somewhat cynic. "They had me doing chores around the house and the garden… and if they couldn't stand the sight of me anymore, they locked me away in my bedroom."
There was a strange emphasis on the word bedroom that the teen didn't like, not at all. But at the same time, he felt frozen, his mouth not working to ask the questions that seemed important and that might unearth the true terror Harry-san had went through growing up as quirkless child.
"They liked to punish me by withholding food as well." Harry smirked at the pancake on his plate, taking an almost vicious bite with extra fruits, while Hitoshi choked feeling a little sick.
"It was my cousin and his friends that made a sport out of hunting me down to beat me up. The whole family had their ways to let me know what a useless waste of space I was to them. My uncle threw me out of the house when I turned thirteen."
This sounded terrible! All of it!
So, what if people were suspicious of Hitoshi or if his class mates teased him about his potentially villainous quirk…
But at least people had mostly left him alone.
Swallowing heavily, Shinsou sighed.
"My parents… I think that they were just surprised. I made my mom give me chocolate by accident when it manifested. I was four… I just wanted candy. They didn't… Not like your aunt and uncle… They're not bad people... they just…" The teen stopped, unsure how to convey how things were at home.
Hitoshi felt sad remembering the first time caution had flickered in his father's eyes when the man had responded to something his son had asked him. The man had tried to squash it immediately but there had been that devastating pause, Hitoshi would always remember.
A tiny spark of suspicion had very slowly but surely taken root in his parent's minds.
It had been gradual.
With every slip up with his quirk, back when Hitoshi hadn't known how to control his quirk quite yet, when he had been upset or euphoric about something.
With every whisper from the neighbours.
With every concern brought forward by teachers.
With every complain from other parents…
Looking back, it felt like the burden of having Hitoshi as a son had slowly worn them down. The spark of distrust had grown into something even worse… distance.
"We don't talk much anymore." Hitoshi finally settled on saying, shrugging again helplessly.
"That sounds very lonely." Harry-san's bright green eyes held a deep understanding when he said this.
With a big lump forming in his throat, Hitoshi was unable to respond beyond nodding jerkily. Tears were pooling in his stupid eyes, wiping furiously at them he tried to stop himself from full out bawling in front of Harry-san, who had been through so much worse than him.
"I'm sorry!" He sniffed out pathetically.
"Aww, kiddo! Don't do that to yourself." And before Hitoshi's brain could quite register what was happening, slender were pulling him into a gentle embrace. "Take it from someone who tried… don't try to shut off from your emotions. You need to let yourself feel even if it hurts."
The Omega was cradling him against his chest, running his hands through unruly violet locks while the teenager sobbed, allowing himself to feel years of loneliness and continued rejection in the safety for Harry-san arms.
He cried until he ran out of tears but Harry-san never let go of him. Simply holding the tall teen in his exhaustion, who marvelled at the feeling of being hugged for the first time in ages. Surrounded by the soothing smell of Japanese camellia and lemongrass.
"So…sorry for crying all over you." He mumbled into the soft fabric of Harry-san shirt. "I must be disturbing your plans with sensei. Coming here for breakfast so often… even staying when he isn't here…" The teen muttered, cheeks burning in embarrassment.
Half-heartedly he tried to pull away, but Harry simply flicked his left ear and patted his back softly.
"Hmm…. Don't worry, Shinsou-kun. Aizawa and I like having you here. And we understand. If it gets too much at home you can come here or to my place. It's alright." The green-eyed man hummed.
Trying not to start bawling yet again, Hitoshi clenched his eyes shut and nodded against Harry's chest.
"Thanks!"
"Any time, kid. Any time." He could feel Harry squeezing him a little tighter.
Wiping his eyes, the teen finally managed to detach himself from the warmth and safety the young man provided. With a shaky breath he forced himself to endure the wave of cold and insecurity he felt for a moment, when all he wanted was to dive back into the comfort Harry's presence had offered.
"I think… I think, I should go back home… I still need to work on a few assignments." Hitoshi found that he sounded tired even to his own ears.
"Hmm… if you're sure." Harry-san was regarding him carefully.
"Yeah… I guess… I… I'll call when I get back home?" Hitoshi felt stupid for saying it but the Omega offered him a bright smile.
"Thank you. I would like that."
Suddenly Harry's cell rung.
"Uhmm…. You should probably get that. I'll see myself out." Hitoshi nodded at the ringing device, making the other sigh.
"Are you sure?"
"Hmmhmm. I'll call you later."
Hitoshi almost screamed in freight when he left the living room and entered the hallway leading to the apartment door. Sitting beside the doorway to the living room was Aizawa-sensei. One leg pulled up to his chin, other long leg stretched out comfortably. He gave Shinsou a very long and weighted look.
How long had the man been sitting there?
Had he listened to his and Harry-san conversation?
Should Hitoshi say something?
Harry-san soft voice, wavering through the closed door, was the only sound for a while, before Aizawa finally broke the staring contest between them with a sigh.
"You need to work on your situational awareness. Training, tomorrow at 10, Ground Gamma."
"Uhm… okay." Hitoshi blinked but when he was about to leave the flat his teacher's voice stopped him.
"And what Harry said. You can reach out if you need it."
Throwing a look over his shoulders he found his teacher still sitting on the floor, a look of weighted contemplation on his face.
"Thank you, sensei. This means a lot." Hitoshi smiled before leaving.
Maybe he imagined it but he thought he saw Aizawa smile for a second as well.
"While I was at the station and later at the hospital in Hosu, detective Tsukauchi reached out to me. The thug that attacked you had to treated for a testicular torsion…" Shota revealed, looking carefully at his partner typing something into his laptop.
"Ups…" The green eyed man chirped, while still holding onto a put-on innocent expression. "Am I in trouble now?"
Wordlessly the pro hero stared at his boyfriend, a feeling of exasperation bubbling in his chest.
Yamada and everyone else had been completely shocked by Harry's display. Well, who would have expected a civilian, an Omega no less, accompanied by three pro heroes, not to wait to be rescued but to take down the criminal, who had been holding a knife to his throat, by himself?
And yes, Shota blamed it on the alcohol in his system, but fuck… he had felt the fluttering of butterflies in his abdomen and a rush in his loins at the sight.
But in the aftermath and increasing soberness, his wonder and desire had cooled down into something slightly sour and bitter. It was another puzzle piece. Another testament to Harry thirst for independence and his refusal to rely on anyone.
No other person.
No Alpha.
No heroes.
Shota had been right in front of him and Harry had taken one look at him before deciding that he rather rescue himself than to trust in his boyfriend and Yamada.
And wasn't this a sobering thought?
The Omega had left no doubt that he was strong on his own. That he knew how to defend himself. That he wouldn't allow anyone to put him down.
Seeing Harry move this swiftly, this efficient… this well practised… had raised some belated questions…
"No, they're not going to press charges. The police decided to file it away as self-defence but Tsukauchi asked me to pass on to you that the next time you should be more careful with yourself." Shota sighed.
What he hadn't expected was Harry's expression to darken and green eyes to narrow in anger.
"Careful with myself?" The Brit hissed.
Okay… now Shota had entered thin ice… Fuck!
"… it was dangerous to move on your ow…" The underground hero started carefully, but didn't get far before Harry's face resembled a thunder cloud with piercing green eyes.
"There were tons of people out there that night. Nemuri was drunk as fuck! You and Yamada had to carry her! But that fucker chose me! Do you know why? Why he chose to attack me out of alle the people there?" Harry spoke with an icy calm, that radiated barely controlled rage.
"I tell you why he took me hostage. Because I'm an Omega! It didn't matter that you or Yamada were there. It fucking didn't matter. What happened was, what always happens! People recognize me as an Omega and they think me weak. An easy prey!"
Shota wanted to reach out to the other man, but didn't dare to touch the furious Omega.
The ice felt really thin, as those emerald eyes gleamed with years of anger and hurt.
This wasn't just about the thug… This was the cumulation of hundreds verbal and physical attacks against Harry and other Omegas. The young man in front of him had faced discrimination and humiliation again and again.
What he had gained in life, he had built up despite of prejudices and people trying to throw spanners in his works.
Harry was clenching his fists, glaring at the floor.
"And do you know what's worse? It automatically made me your weakness as well in his eyes. He taunted you with my weakness! He made me into liability!" The green-eyed young man snarled.
Oh. Oh…!
Had Harry been afraid of being a burden to Shota?!
"They had their ways to let me know what a useless waste of space I was to them."
"I'm really bad with feelings because they make me vulnerable and I can't be vulnerable. People exploit weaknesses and I already have so many."
Oh!
"You're not a liability, you know, that right?! " Shota finally bridged the distance between them, pulling his headstrong but sensitive boyfriend into his arms.
Harry scrunched up his nose, staying silent after his rant. The hero pressed a kiss on the crown of his head.
"Caring for someone can make you vulnerable, yes. But I want to believe that it also makes us stronger." Shota mumbled into unruly dark hair. "I don't expect a miracle but whenever you're ready, I want you to rely on me."
The slender body in his arms turned worryingly rigid at those words. Harry's breath had turned shallow.
It took a lot of willpower not to tighten his hold instinctively but Shota refused to let go either.
Simply embracing Harry, waiting for the obvious upset Omega to calm down.
It felt like ages .
Until Harry was finally able to relax again, allowing himself to slump fully against Shota's chest.
"I want that, too." The pro hero almost didn't catch the soft mumbling, but he felt his eyes going wide at the admission.
Instead of a verbal answer Shota pulled Harry into a long kiss.
When he released the younger man, he stroked his thumb over the soft skin of Harry's cheek bone.
"What kind of martial arts was that anyway? Looked pretty professional." He asked, changing the topic.
A small proud smile stretched over the Omega's lips.
"Krav Magar."
Shota raised his eyebrows in surprise. That… was unusual. And certainly not a style that was taught to civilians anymore.
"My godfather taught me. After I moved in with him, he let me switch to online classes and decided that I needed to know some self-defence."
"So, he taught you an old military self-defence and fighting system developed for the Israel Defense and Security Forces?! "
"Uhm, yes. It's quite efficient…" Harry offered in a deadpan voice.
"Uhm, yes." Shota miniced in eyasperation. "One might say so. Testicular torsion…" The pro hero snorted, before turning serious again. "You don't like to talk about him, do you?"
There was no question, who 'him' might be… Harry became distant whenever he mentioned his godfather. Speaking about Sirius Black or things related to the late hero, often caused Harry to grow solemn and melancholic, with an underlying bitterness shining through every now and then.
Shota was about to tell him that he didn't need to answer, when Harry sighed heavily, like just thinking about that was a great effort for him….
Maybe it was…
"Sirius…" The Omega stopped, struggling to find the right words.
"To me Sirius was the greatest hero. And for three years he was the most important person in my life. He was the centre of my world. He was the first person who accepted me. Who wanted me in their life…" Harry finally settled on saying.
His expression a complicated mix of earnest fondness and deepest grief.
The sight caused Shota's heart to stop for a second and to his biggest shame he had to admit that he felt jealousy towards a dead man. Be called the greatest hero by Harry… who didn't trust in heroes anymore…
"… and he was probably the biggest source of disappointment for me." The Omega chuckled dryly, bitterness colouring the words.
There was a world of old pain hidden behind Harry's green eyes and the tense smile, he was giving a very astonished Shota. The Alpha hadn't expected that.
"I… What?"
Harry seemed to be lost in his memories.
"Sirius could be really great. Like the fun, cool uncle very teenage boy wants to have. He gave me a home after my uncle threw me out on the streets with little more than the clothes on my back and he promised me… he promised me that we would be family. That he would…" The Omega pressed his lips into a tight line, while Shota rubbed soothing circles over slender shoulders.
"He sounds like a good man." The pro hero offered, not quite sure what to say.
"Hmm. He does, doesn't he?" Harry hummed resigned. "But he could be also very rash and impulsive. When he thought someone deserved it, he had a very mean streak… and an uncanny talent to hit you where it hurt the most…"
Tears were gathering in emerald eyes.
"… and in the end, he broke very promise, he'd ever given me."
"Oh Harry!" Shota's heart was stumbled in pain for the sixteen year old boy that had lost the only parental figure in his life. For the kid that had been abused and neglected by his blood family and who had found a home only to lose it again. Disappointed and scarred by people in general, he had found solace in trusting nobody and shielding his heart vigorously.
A stray tear left a wet trail over Harry's cheekbone.
"I just… even now I can't… can't forgive him for leaving me behind like that."
Unwilling to offer empty platitudes and promises, Shota simply bundled the Brit into a fluffy blanket and pressed a gentle kiss against his temple.
"I'm here. I've got you." He whispered as more and more silent tears fell from green eyes.