Chapter 29

Suddenly she heard loud, excited yells coming from the river. Some children had decided to go wading in the low water and the dam had broke through. Rhett had walked up to his horse, but he ran back and before anyone else could move, Scarlett bitterly supressed her overwhelming anxiety and wade into the water, grabbing some child's hand and pulling it to the shore. She didn't know how long she kept at it. All she understood was Rhett was collecting the nailed boards and some black man ..one from the troop of men she had hired had volunteered to help him. After pulling out a girl of two and a little boy, she sat on the bank, dazed and drenched.

People were talking things over her head and she could feel the alarmed stares of the women in the party. More and more hired men began to appear, drawn in by the commotion. They had huge, mocking grins on their faces that Scarlett felt like scratching their eyes out. When Suellen began lamenting over the unexpected sour turn in the party, Scarlett lashed out,

"Who asked you to let these children in in the first place?! You all do these things without asking me- And you-" Scarlett jutted her jaw towards the grinning back men. "Wipe that insolent grin off your face- I told you not to come here! I'll speak to your manager about this. I won't pay you. Now, get back!"

Everyone looked uncomfortable and someone offered to help Scarlett up. But she managed that on her own.

"Nobody knows the trouble I took to set up this party. I planned all these events and now everything's ruined. Don't you people know how to behave in parties? Why can't anyone do anything right?! All you people do is sit around and-"

Scarlett shook off her wet bonnet and limped to the table. She laid her head in her arms and burst into tears. Her face was burning with shame. Her mind was spinning and she felt as if she were spiralling into a deep unknown void that first appeared after Bonnie's death. It frightened her terribly.

One by one the guests began to leave. Scarlett found a more sympathetic Suellen pushing a plate of food to her and Scarlett cried that she wasn't hungry. She sobbed and sobbed until everyone was gone and only her own family was left in the solace of the hills and the trees.

When Scarlett looked up, Rhett was gone. Suellen was leaning on Will's shoulder as they sat under a tree. Wade and Beau were riding ponies and so were Susie and Ella. Scarlett sat up and wiped her eyes.

Will nudged Suellen and the later ran to Scarlett. "Will's sent those men away, Scarlett. They wanted their wages. There was some talk but he managed it."

Scarlett spoke through angry tears. "I should have never kept the party. The whole thing was ruined, wasn't it?! I've ruined it-" She began to sob so hard, that Suellen grew pained still. "Scarlett, I don't have your ideas to keep a party like this. Yes, it was ruined but don't get so upset- I've never seen you get so upset. It isn't like you- You are always so strong-"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?!" yelled Scarlett, angrier still. "I'm not strong. It's as if you all deliberately want to pin something on me. It's no use. Everything's gone. I can't keep anyone together. I just keep snapping at them and they all step back afraid.. I can't-"

"Is that why you are so upset?"

"No-" Scarlett hesitated.

"Then what is it?"

Scarlett didn't answer.

"Tell me-" pressed Suellen.

"I keep.. you remember after the war, how we struggled- during those days, I started seeing this nightmare.. that I am running through the mist and something is reaching out to grab me. I'm running, looking for a place of safety but I don't know what it is.. I still have that nightmare.. I'm terrified-"

Suellen looked bemused. She stared seriously into Scarlett's face. Scarlett couldn't bear her searching glance. She put her head down and continued weeping. Then she heard Suellen's voice.

"Then Scarlett, the next time you see that nightmare, just imagine.. I'm there.. as you are running.. I'm there in the mist.. And when you are running by me, I put out my hand and I'm giving you Pa's old hunting pistol and now you are armed and you can fight-"

Scarlett looked up in shock. She stopped sobbing as her mind accepted the lovely solution to her ridiculous fear. She looked at Suellen and found the later nodding and smiling through tears.

She instantly hugged her sister.