Chapter 1: Tampon

I have survived my moving day, and a week worth of unpacking and schedule adjustments. I welcome the distraction, knowing I'm better off worrying about work and my new roommate. The time has passed almost like it never came, which some what disappoints me, but I know I'll be able to not think about him sooner or later, without the need of distractions. I'm proud to say that I'm gradually going through my break-up phases appropriately, and currently in limbo between the depressed and angry emotional state. Soon, I'll be in tango with anger and acceptance, then to complete acceptance and a new found confidence. All though, the more I think about getting over him, the more I feel frustrated at myself for allowing him to make such an impact on me. The thought closes there as I hear the bathroom door open and footsteps make their way out.

"Ah, Yamada-san, did you just get back from work?"

From my cross-legged position on the living room couch, I turn my head to view my roommate standing under the frame of the hallway entrance. It's obvious he just took a shower, probably after being covered in sweat during training, as he rubs his dark hair with a towel. Not only that, but he is showcasing a bran-spanking-new spandex suit, which is sticking nicely to his freshly damp figure.

If I wasn't going through emotional backlash, I might have taken this time to examine him. Instead, I somehow manage a ghost of smile as a way to greet him, "Mhm, not too long ago. You were in the shower by the time I got here."

"I see," he says, making his way over to the couch. As he settles down, I notice he takes a relatively distant seat away from me, almost on the opposite side of the couch. I start to think that maybe since I haven't taken a shower yet he doesn't want to be near me. I quietly dismiss the thought, he doesn't seem like a complete germaphobe.

As he continues to dry his hair, I take this time to collect some materials from a few large bags I had set at the end of the couch and place them onto the coffee table. It's an assortment of things: colored paper, couple pairs of scissors, bottles of glue, green styrofoam balls, popsicle sticks, and small flowerpots. I shrug myself off the couch and onto the floor, since I prefer to work comfortably instead of hunching across the coffee table. How attractive is a hunchback anyway?

I start by picking a purple colored paper and the scissors, carefully cutting out a shape of a flower.

"Yamada-san," I hear Lee's voice from behind me. "I am sorry to interrupt, but I am very curious as to know what you are doing."

His curiosity surprises me. I'm used to coming to a home where my ex is either sleeping or watching television, not bothering to take interest in what I'm doing, unless it's cooking dinner. The thought of him doesn't seem to bother me as much, since I'm completely taken to answering Lee's question.

"Hm? You mean what I'm doing with all of this?" I ask, motioning the scissors in my hand to all the crafts. "Tomorrow is arts and crafts time after lunch for the kids. They'll be making their very own flower where they can place a picture of themselves in the center. It's a nice gift they could give to their parents or one of their family members in general. I'm just making one myself as an example that they can follow."

"That is very creative of you, Yamada-san. I am sure the kids will love it."

His answer collects in my mind, and I can't help but allow a simple smile brush my lips. It sure has been a while since any man has complimented me, let alone on something related to my work. Turning my head, I want to thank him for his compliment, but stop as I find his large dish like eyes staring intently at the crafts on the table. I don't want to jump to conclusions but he looks as if he has never played with colored paper or popsicle sticks before in his life. Even his leaning position on the couch speaks in a yearning manner. Perhaps…

"Lee-san, would you like to make one with me?"

At first, my question doesn't seem to sink with him. His eyes shift from the table to mine. I pull back slightly as I vaguely see traces of what seems to be tears glossing his eyes. Fortunately, a gleaming smile appears instead.

"Yes! Of course," he agrees rather loudly, but notices his excitement and shyly continues with a leveled tone. "That is, if I will not be a distraction to you. I do not want to be a bother."

I shake my head at his concern, "Don't worry, you won't. It'll be fun, and you'll actually help me practice on how to instruct the activity for tomorrow."

Lee nods with an evident smile, places his towel off to the side, and plops onto the floor, now taking a seat a few inches away from me. I chuckle as his legs press into his chest, since the distance between the couch and the coffee table isn't enough space for his longer limbs. He chuckles along with me as we both agree to move the table for his comfort.

Settling back down to the floor, I place one of each material in front of Lee and urge him to pick his favorite colored paper. He choses the color green, and I'm not surprised, momentarily eye balling the color of his spandex suit. I then instruct him to cut out two flower shapes, adding that he could use a pencil to trace the shape before cutting. He admits he isn't a very good artist, but I persuade him that it doesn't take extraordinary talent to draw a simple flower. He nods, being a good listener, and attempts it. He follows my instructions further by cutting around the flower shape.

"Like this?" He asks for my opinion, holding up his finished cut.

I look away from my own shapes and observe his. And for the first time in a while, I want to laugh. I try to stifle my giggles inching up my throat, but it's difficult to keep a straight face knowing what were supposed to be flowers resembled more like stalls of poo. Jeez, I'm so mature.

Lee notices my struggle and a frown tugs at the corners of his mouth, staring with disappointment at his work, "I guess I am not very good at things like this."

"That's okay, Lee-san. You tried your best, and that's what counts the most," I smile reassuringly and address him with the same manner as I do my students. "It's like I tell my class: you can be good at anything, but only if you're willing to work towards it. And from what I've learned, practice always makes perfect."

Lee's expression softens into an appreciative smile, "You remind me very much of my sensei, Yamada-san."

"Oh, is that a good thing?"

"Yes! Gai-sensei is an amazing man and instructor. There is not a day that goes by that I do not thank him for encouraging me to do my best and taking his time to teach me."

"He does sound like an amazing person then," I reply, fascinated by my roommate's passionate remark. It makes me wonder if I could ever have the same impact on my own students. Not to feel appreciated, or demand some form of instant gratification, but for my students to know that there is someone willing to believe in them.

"I should introduce you to him one day, but first—" he places his cut out 'flowers' onto the table and smiles broadly. "Would you please teach me the next step to this activity, Yamada-sensei?"

A smile of my own touches my lips, more than willing to continue. As I do, I tell him to grab a photo of himself that he doesn't mind cutting. He quickly gets up and disappears into the hallway. After a minute or so, he emerges back into the living room and places himself in the same spot next to me. I take out my own photo and we begin cutting out a circle where our faces and parts of our chest remain. Keeping a steady pace, I make sure to do each step with him. Within ten minutes or less, Lee and I stare absolutely proud at our quirky man-made flowers. Mine was a small flowerpot with green styrofoam placed inside, a popsicle stick pinched in the middle resembling a stem, and of course, my purple flower cut out glued to the tip of the popsicle stick with a picture of my face in the middle. Lee's was the exact same, given that his flower was the color green.

I stifle yet another laugh, His facial expression in his photo is priceless.

"That was very fun," Lee speaks, taking his creation into his hands and lightly touching the fake petals. "It saddens me a little that I was never able to do these kinds of activities when I was younger. That is, until now. Thank you, Yamada-san."

"You're very welcome, Lee-san. Thanks for keeping me company," I reply with a smile. "You're more than welcomed to keep it or give it to someone. Maybe your sensei would like to have it?"

"Gai-sensei? Do you think he would like to have something like this?"

"I think you'd know better than me, since he's your teacher," I can't help but giggle. "If he's the person you just described to me then I think he'd love it."

My words seem to convince him as Lee responds with a smile, and I return with one of my own. Now that I think about it, I've been smiling a lot today. Which I'm not complaining about, definitely not, but you tend to notice once your cheeks feel sore and bulbous. I rub them softly while lifting myself up to prepare for a shower I still need to take.

"Yamada-san," Lee says my name while standing himself, still cradling the flowerpot. "I am going to make dinner for myself now, but if you would like I could make a plate for you as well."

I stop just before entering the hallway, turning to view my roommate with an apologetic look, "I'm sorry, Lee-san. I appreciate the thought but I've made dinner plans already with a friend tonight. Maybe another time?"

His expression wavers for a moment, as if he was experiencing something familiar, but quickly recovers. "I understand, please enjoy yourself then."

"I will, thank you," I murmur quietly, unsure of what I saw a moment ago. Not being able to place my finger on it did peak me, but maybe I'm thinking more into it than I should be.

I excuse myself into my room and place my flowerpot on my bed, which I forgot to make this morning, and gather my clothes and a clean towel. Exiting back into the hallway, I can hear Lee in the kitchen preparing dinner. Guilt lingers inside me but there's nothing I can do, I've already made plans. Entering the bathroom I set my towel and clothes on the toilet. I tug at the bottom of my white work blouse, preparing to take it off.

A loud crashing noise interrupts me, what on earth?

My hands keep to the bottom of my shirt, waiting to hear if the noise will persist or not. After a few moments of silence, I decide it's safe to remove my shirt. Once I do, I hear a few taps on the bathroom door.

"Yes?" I nervously answer the knocks. I can't help but imagine the slightest chance of a burglar, or a missing-nin, finding their way into the apartment. Even though I'm fairly aware I have a ninja as a roommate, I'm more accustomed to living with others who aren't capable killing machines.

"Excuse me, Yamada-san. Before you enter the shower, could I trouble you for some toilet paper?"

The voice is familiar, and immediately my shoulders relax. I remember I don't have my shirt on and I quickly snatch it from the floor and ease it over my head.

"O-oh, alright. Give me one second," I reply with some struggle, fidgeting to fix my shirt. I don't understand why my roommate needs toilet paper, but I keep to myself and don't question it. Just like how I never questioned my ex when I found new make-up stains on my pillow or unfamiliar underwear in the dirty hamper. Ugh, I'm such an idiot. Why didn't I say anything?

I open the bathroom door and I am met with a jumping sight. Lee is no doubt standing in front of me, but the addition of a horribly bloody nose was definitely a surprise. His hand is effortlessly trying to cover most of the mess, but that doesn't stop the flow dribbling down to his chin. Luckily, I've become used to scenes like this since it happens frequently with particular students.

His mouth is about to open, probably to apologize or explain, but I quickly grab his wrist and bring him into the bathroom. Leading him to the side of the sink I turn the water on and motion him to wash off. He does, and I take this time look under the sink cabinets to find something better than toilet paper to—stop a heavy flow! It hits me.

I reach to the far back of the sink cabinet, where I ominously hid my box of tampons beneath bags of make-up and face wipes. I open the box, take out two, and bury it again like treasure. Tearing off the wrapping and removing the plastic tube, only the tampon is left.

I turn my attention back to Lee still washing the large amounts of blood flowing from his nose. "Alright, that's good, look at me for a moment."

Pinching his nose closed, he turns to face me. I shoo his hands away from his face and quickly place the tampons in each of his nostrils.

"There, that should do it," I breathe and wipe the last bits of watered down blood from his mouth.

He waits for me to finish before shifting his attention to the mirror to see exactly what I stuck inside his nose. I bite down anxiously on my bottom lip; "I know what you're probably thinking, and I just want to say—"

"Thank you, Yamada-san! You did not have to go through the trouble of helping me," he sounds grateful, and my worry melts into a questionable look. He's thanking me for placing tampons inside his nose?

I'm utterly lost, and my roommate takes my perplexed stare as a chance to explain himself; "You see, I was taking out the iron pot which I usually make curry with from the higher kitchen cabinets. When I opened it, the pot fell over and immediately landed on my nose. Unfortunately, there were no more paper towels and I did not want to ruin an actual towel so—"

"I understand, Lee-san. You don't have to explain yourself, I'm just glad I could help. Answer me this though," the words are falling from my mouth. I'm hesitant to ask, now that his large round eyes waited for my question, "Do you know…what's in your nose?" I whisper quietly, trying not to rudely point at his face.

He shakes his head, "Not at all. Although, I have to say it works amazingly!"

A realization slowly works its way into my ticking thoughts, "Lee-san, don't tell me, you've never been with a…."

o o o

My eyes shift nervously as my friend's howl like laugh resonates through out the entire restaurant, shaking the chopsticks and beef bowls on the table. I groan in discomfort, feeling the collective stare of a few strangers upon our table. My face stirs into a desperate plea, begging for my best friend and co-worker to spare me the humiliation.

"So, let me get this straight. You stuck tampons up your roommate's nose, asked him if he knew what it was, and once he said 'no' you said…I want you to say it."

My troubled looks don't convince her to stop, so I shake my head meekly, "No, I don't want to."

"Come on, say it. I need to hear it from you."

"No!"

"Say it!"

God, she's persistent!

"Fine, 'you've never been with a girl, have you?"

My eyes close tightly from the intensity of her second laugh, and partly from reliving the moment shortly in my minds eye. I know my face is burning and I hang my head low. The beef bowl looks like a good place to put my head in and hide. Not sure how well the waiter will take it, so I decide against it. I'll just have to find a semi-decent hole to crawl into later.

"Girl, I'm so glad you're not with Eiji anymore. That was hilarious. You're hilarious, you know that?" My friend comments, gulping down her sweetened iced tea. I'm not sure if that was a compliment or if she was just poking fun. Either way, I'm not amused. How could I be? Especially knowing that I probably said something completely out of line to my roommate.

"I don't really think so, what I said was really intrusive. And Haruka, could we not talk about Eiji? I don't want to puke all over my dinner," I murmur, fiddling with a grain of rice. Today was certainly turning out to be one of those days.

"What ever you say, but I'm serious when I say I'm glad you got rid of that jerk. Because look on the bright side," her lips curl against the rim of the glass cup, "you've got yourself a new boy toy."

"What?" I can't help but quirk an eyebrow at her statement. Not that I'm oblivious to what a boy toy is and what they're meant for, but just the sole fact that she placed the word in relation to me. That's what stumped me.

"Don't act dumb, Sho. You know what I'm talking about."

My lips remain flat as a board and she rolls her eyes at my silent reply.

"Rebound, hello! This is your chance to just screw around!"

"Rebound? Screw around? Haruka, what are you saying?"

"Fuck him."

"Haruka!" I raise my voice, and it's full of embarrassment. I can barely choke out the rest of my sentence; "Don't just say that word in public while people are trying to eat. I mean, how could you even suggest that for me? You know what kind of person I am, it's not that simple."

"Yeah it is, just barge into his room naked and demand that you want his—"

"Haruka," I manage to hiss, which is better than yelling twice in a row.

Her legs cross from under the table, "What? He's cute, isn't he? And now we both know he's a virgin, which is kind of kinky if you think about it. Oh, he could totally be like your submissive sex slave or something. I'll bet you ten-hundred ryo that he likes those bossy types of bitches."

Ground, hear my plea and just swallow me whole.

"Haruka, please," I rub my temples, unable to believe what I'm being told about my roommate. "I want nothing to do with relationships, whether it's strictly sexual or not. I just want to relax and be by myself for a little bit. You can understand that feeling, right?"

She shrugs her shoulders, taking another sip of her iced tea, "Yeah, I know, but I was able to enjoy my single life and still have the luxury of casual sex. I just want you to have the same thing."

"But that's just it, I can't do that," I say frankly, and Haruka tilts her head like a confused child during math class. I place my hands on my skirt and sigh, knowing that a solid explanation of how my morals correlate to how I view my relationships would floor her. "I'm just not like you Haruka, I can't have...casual sex." I whisper out the last part of my sentence.

I must have sounded like a lost mouse, since Haruka puckers her red lips and gestures for me to take her hand. I do as I'm told and she squeezes it gently as if she can understand. Which I know she probably doesn't but I'm glad she at least accepts my inabilities.

"Don't worry, Sho. I know you don't need casual sex to be happy. But damn it all if you don't find a husband who fucks you like an animal."

A giggle brushes my lips, knowing I'd never find a more interesting, supportive, and extremely vulgar best friend in the world. "Thanks, Haruka. It means a lot to me."

"Anytime, honey." Haruka smiles, pressing my palm reassuringly one last time before letting go to catch our waiter's attention. She does and asks for the bill, wearing a pout as she turns to me. "I wish we could chat some more, but you know how my husband gets when I'm not there to tuck him into bed."

Our waiter then returns to the table and hands out our separate bills.

"Oh, I know. Say 'hi' to Jin for me." I say, placing the payment on the bill tray.

"I will," she returns with a small smile.

Saying our 'good-byes', we exit the restaurant and give each other one last hug. Parting, we wave and walk in opposite directions. As I'm walking through the lit town streets, I stare down at my prevailing steps.

Hm, I wonder if Lee took out the tampons from his nose yet.

I giggle lightly at the thought.

I guess it is kind of funny.