Chapter 5: Monkeys
Another three days roll by, leaving behind an interesting Valentine's Day. Although the recent incident between my roommate and I was settled, there's this prominent change in our behaviors. As much as I don't want to admit it, we do subtly avoid making any sort of contact for long periods of time. For instance, if we happen to be in the same six-foot proximity for more than fifteen minutes, one of us will make up some random excuse to leave. And when it comes to the living room couch, I feel as if my roommate shudders and tries to abstain from sitting on it altogether (especially with me on it). Personally, I'm not put off by it, despite what happened. Maybe I'll have an uncomfortable reoccurring memory here and there, but not enough for me to actually alienate a piece of furniture.
I want to coax Lee into sitting on it again, whether I'm on it or not, but I guess I'm not one to talk. I've caught myself flinching more than usually when around him. I'm already jumpy by nature, but now it's as if I have a problem and should be popping pills hourly. I remember walking into the bathroom just as my roommate was coming out, and once our elbows brushed I threw myself against the wall. I can honestly say I feel bad for being this way, knowing I'm just making our awkward relationship at the moment even worse. But I'm trying, I really am.
All I want are for things to go back to the way they were.
"Sho, are you even paying any attention to what I'm saying?"
"Huh? Oh, um…" My lips form a pressed line. My eyes lift from some random spot on the floor to view my mother. Her brow is furrowed in an agitated manner; a look I've been familiar with since I was younger. A sigh escapes her, making the creases next to her lips visible. She reaches for something in my grasp, takes it, and places it back onto a shelf.
"Honestly, Sho. Here I am trying to tell you something important and all you do is stare at your feet while holding a bar of chocolate."
A clear frown possesses me, "I wanted that chocolate."
"You already have enough. I'm fairly certain three chocolate bars will do you just fine," she responds with a pinched frown of her own.
I puff my cheeks out a little. I'm the one who's paying for it, what should it matter? Once again, I am grocery shopping with my mother, which we now consider a form of mother-daughter bonding. As per usual, I can never buy all the things I would like; since my mother tosses the things I want out of the cart and replaces them with foods I hardly even eat. I don't complain though, since I don't particularly like arguing with my mother in public. Therefore, I settle on the idea that this is only a once in a while kind of thing, and just allow the woman to do as she pleases.
"Are you ready to listen to me now?" My mother asks in a lecturing tone. I simply nod, tailing behind her as we go down the aisle. "Good. Now, as you know, your aunt is scheduled for breast reconstruction tomorrow afternoon and her husband is out of town. Recovery is said to take two weeks after surgery, in which time you will need to take care of your little cousin for at least a week until I return from my business trip."
Oh shoot, I forgot to tell my roommate about this.
"Alright, should I pick Endo up from pre-school tomorrow?"
"If you could. It would be extremely helpful since I have to start packing tomorrow," my mother replies, placing a small amount of bagged tomatoes into the cart. "And do tell your roommate that I'm sorry for the inconvenience. If it weren't for this business trip, I would have cared for him all two weeks."
"Oh, I'm sure Lee-san won't mind. I have this feeling he's really good with children."
My mother pauses in her steps, turning to face me, "Sho, you are making it sound as if you haven't told him."
"Well," I bite my bottom lip apprehensively, "not yet, but I will when I see him today."
"Sho," my mother gives me her famous shoulder slump, "You know better than to leave things to the last minute. Don't ever do this to your roommate again; it's very inconsiderate. Do you hear me?"
"Yes, mother," I speak inaudibly, tucking a guilty strand of hair behind my ear.
I hear my mom gasp and I cower at this unexpected reaction.
"Honey, what happened to your hand?" My mother's tone immediately switches to concerned mode, taking my bandaged wrist in her wrinkled palm. "Do you need to see a doctor?"
"No, mom, I'm fine," I quickly assure her, taking back my hand. As if I want to throw my mother into hysterics by telling her everything that happened on Valentine's Day, "I just have carpal tunnel from grading papers, that's all."
"My poor baby," my mother speaks, rubbing my shoulders tenderly. It's amazing how my mother go's through so many mood swings. One moment she's disciplining me, the next, I'm being spoon fed with a smile, "You shouldn't work yourself so hard. You should really look into taking a vacation sometime soon."
"I would, but I don't feel comfortable leaving my students with a substitute teacher," I reply, because honestly, I'm afraid of what my students will do to the substitute. I shiver as I recall all the horror stories I've been told by some of the school faculty.
"I understand," my mother nods, pausing a moment before speaking again, "We should probably stop here with the shopping. I don't want you to have to carry so many grocery bags by yourself with that wrist of yours."
"Sounds good to me," I agree with an appreciative smile.
Tomorrow eases in rather quickly. And I can only say that I'm very fortunate to have such a complacent roommate. As soon as I returned from my grocery shopping the previous day, I told him right away what he could expect during the up-coming week. My sudden news didn't seem to throw him off in a negative way, although he was slightly surprised. However, after digesting my words he gave me a prominent grin and thumbs up with the 'OK'.
I will definitely pay him back for this, some how.
"Cho, look. I'm making a turtle," I hear my cousin bleat next to me.
At the moment I'm juggling three jobs at once: watching over my baby cousin, playing with glue and hard pasta pieces, and grading the never-ending piles of homework. I take a moment from my work and fiddling with macaroni pieces to pay attention to my cousin.
"Aw, he's so cute, Endo! Are you going to name him?" I ask with plenty of enthusiasm.
"His name is turtle, because he's a turtle," he speaks simply, staring up at me with adorably large brown eyes.
An amused giggle escapes past my smile, "Can't argue with that logic, can I?"
Endo shakes his head, wiggling his whole little body in the process. I chuckle at his quirky little action and brush the blondish bangs from his eyes. He smiles to himself and goes back to clumsily placing his macaroni pieces on his paper. Just as I'm about to go back to grading, someone enters the front door of the apartment.
My eyes briefly float up to catch a glimpse of my roommate before retuning back down to my work, "Welcome back, Lee-san. How was your day?"
"Very good, thank you," I hear him respond automatically. Our greetings have certainly become a regular and expected thing now. "Would this be your cousin?"
I look up once more, shifting my gaze from Lee to my little cousin, "Mhm. This is Endo. Say 'hi' Endo."
"Hi," he mummbles shyly, not bothering to look away from his turtle masterpiece.
I watch with a smile as my roommate makes his way over, kneeling down next to my cousin and extending his hand out, "Hello there, my name is Rock Lee. It is nice to meet you, Endo."
My little cousin quietly turns his head, shifting his stare from Lee's out-stretched palm to his face. His small hand is covered in glue, and before I can say anything, he smacks it against my roommates brow, "You have big eyebrows."
"Oh no. Endo," I quickly reach over and take my cousins messy hand away from my roommates face, placing it back onto his paper, "Your hands are covered in glue and are all sticky. You can't touch others with icky hands."
"But they're big," Endo confirms something I already know, wringing his hands against the glue on his macaroni sheet.
"Even if they are, you shouldn't touch others without their permission, okay?"
"It is fine, Yamada-san," Lee stands up with a smile. "I can wash if off easily."
"At least let me help you clean it off," I respond, lifting myself up as well. "I'll be right back, Endo. I'm just going into the kitchen."
He bobs his head up and down and I take this opportunity to follow Lee into the kitchen area. I take a piece of paper towel and wet it, motioning it to Lee's right brow.
"You do not have to do this for me. I am more than capable of doing it myself," Lee speaks, trying to take the wet paper towel from my hold. I expected this much, and maneuver my hand so that he's not able to take it.
"I never said that you couldn't, but as Endo's current baby sitter, I'm responsible for his actions," I say promptly, keeping his hands at bay as I wipe his brow.
A frown tugs at the corners of his mouth while his saucers remain large with concern, "How is your hand?"
"Better," I reply, taking a step back. My eyes tend to his lips, "I see your lip has gotten better. That's good."
"Yes, but it was hardly anything," he brushes it off with his comment.
"Still," my voice is low, faintly recalling the moment when it happened. Some how, my hand tingles with the memory, "I'm not sure if I've said it before, but I'm sorry for hitting you."
"Please, Yamada-san, you do not have to apologize," he hastily informs me, with a sure look of liability written all over his face. "I am the one who is sorry, and should be for very obvious reasons. Your actions were completely necessary."
"Still I-" I'm unable continue my sentence. From my peripherals I catch the sight of Endo making his way over, and sure enough, with hands messier than ever. His hands are stretched out in front of him and I already know where this is going. Before my little cousin is able to place his goopy hands on my roommate's pants leg, I swoop him up into my arms.
"What do you think you're doing with those hands, young man?" I breathe, cradling my cousin on my hip. His round eyes lower in evident shame, and he buries his face in my shoulder to hide. An amused look crosses me, "Mhm. That's what I thought sticky-hands."
I then turn back to my roommate, "Sorry, he just turned three not too long ago."
"I understand." Lee returns with a smile, "Would you like to use the shower before me?"
"I would love to, thank you," I say, noticing Endo's hands have tangled themselves in my hair. Everyone in this house is going to be covered in glue, macaroni, and glitter by the end of the week, "Come on, Endo. Let's get squeaky-clean for dinner. Did you finish your macaroni turtle?"
"Yeah, I finish," I hear his muffled voice against my shoulder. I nod and excuse myself from Lee's presence.
With my little cousin still on my hip, I gather both of our clothes with one hand from my room. With what little maneuverability I have left in either hand, I managed to open the bathroom door and enter. Placing the clothes on the covered toilet seat and setting down Endo, I prepare a warm bath for both of us. Since my little cousin is only three and related to me, I don't see the harm of bathing together. Not only that, but it'll kill two birds with one stone.
Once we're both ready, I help Endo inside the bathtub before I ease into it myself.
"Warm, huh?" I infer, gathering a cup of water with my hands and pouring it gently over my cousin's head.
"Uh huh," my little cousin agrees, tickling the surface of the water.
"Did you have fun at pre-school today?" I continue further, beginning to lather his head in shampoo.
"Yeah, we made snacks," he replies, closing his eyes as I rinse the suds from his hair. "Celery and peanut butter tastes good."
"Mm. That does sound yummy. Would you like me to make you some for your lunch box tomorrow?"
"Yeah!" Endo pipes up, splashing the bathtub water a little.
I giggle and hold him still as I apply the conditioner onto his tuff of wet hair, "Alright, you got it."
There's a moment of comfortable silence as I wash the conditioner from his hair.
"Cho, why's that mister with big eyebrows here?" Endo questions abruptly.
"Hm? You mean Lee-san," I glance down at him, beginning to apply some shampoo to my own hair. "Well, we live together. That's why."
"Oh," he drawls out, rocking back and forth against the water. "Is he–um, like what my daddy is to mommy?"
I gulp down a lump of embarrassment in my throat, and shake my head lightly while pouring some water over my head, "No, Endo. We're not like mommy and daddy. We're more like friends who just live in the same house."
"Okay," he nods, running his hands through his wet hair. "But I thought that- um, only mommy's and daddy's lived together, cause' they like to wrestle and make monkey noises before they sleep."
Oh jeez, what has my aunt done to my poor unassuming cousin?
"What? That's just crazy talk," the lump of embarrassment is coming up again, but I try to play it off. Not so convincingly I might add.
"Nu-uh! It's true!" My little cousin squeaks, jumping a little with each word. "I saw'd it with my two eyes."
Oh my lord.
"I think you were just imaging things," I speak nervously; trying to distract him by grabbing the soap, "Alright, lift your arms up way-way up!"
He does so, shooting his arms out of the water and above his head. I begin lathering his arms, trying to prompt a different subject, but he still persists, "I wasn't imagining. Daddy was like 'oh-oh!' and mommy said 'ah-ah!'- just like monkeys."
"That just sounds so silly," I'm trying to veer this discussion anywhere but where it is now, and I'm failing miserably at it.
"Do you and mister big eyebrows make monkey noises together, even though you're not mommy and daddy?"
"Oh! No-no, definitely not." I sputter, practically squeezing the soap right out of my hands. I seriously didn't prepare for these types of questions. "Like I said before, me and Lee-san are just friends. Okay?"
His large brown eyes squint at my answer, and his lips pucker, "Cho, you big-fatty liar."
"H-Huh?" I choke, blinking wildly at his forthright statement. This is seriously the one time I'm not lying.
I watch as Endo sits up a little, extending a small finger to the back of my neck, "You've got a monkey bite right here."
No way! It must have been hiding behind my hair this whole time.
"Y-you mean this?" My voice is filled with fluster as I touch the back end of my neck. Alright, now it's time to lie, "This is just a mosquito bite. They've just been so pesky lately, right?"
My little cousin settles back down, taking in my reply as he stares down at the bubbles floating on top of the water in thought, "But my mosquito bites are red. How come yours is purple?"
I shrug my shoulders, faking the same level of confusion, "I don't know. Must be a special kind of mosquito."
"Mm, yeah," Endo finally agrees, and I smile victoriously.
Mission 'totally convince my little cousin that my hickey is a mosquito bite' success.
It's just a little bit before dinnertime, and lucky for me, I was able to find a turtleneck to hide the apparent mark stamped on my neck. At the moment, I'm organizing all my work for tomorrow on the coffee table. Endo on the other hand, is happily drawing with his colored pencils. Thankfully, glue isn't the only thing that entertains him. I'm just hoping my little cousin doesn't have this urge to draw on the walls, my roommate, and everything in between.
After stacking a neatly labeled folder off to the side, I take a glance towards the kitchen. It's just one more minute till the chicken I've placed inside the oven is close to perfection. I lift myself up from my seat on the floor and head towards the kitchen. I arrive just in time to intercept the obnoxious beeping noise emitted by the stove. I mitten up and ease the golden chicken right out. I'm actually surprised by the positive results. I'm more of a baker than anything else, so cooking meats or anything non-sweet related doesn't usually turn out in my favor.
In any case, I'm thankful to have managed to make a flavorful meal of chicken, rice, and vegetables. Thank you, mother, I chime in my head and make a mental note to bring my mother grocery shopping with me more often.
Finishing the final preparations, I place two plates on the kitchen table for my little cousin and I.
"Endo, dinners ready. Come to the table please," I say, washing my hands at the sink.
"Okay," I hear my cousin pipe up, entering the kitchen with a hop.
"Come here you little bunny, you need to wash your hands too," I say, scooping him up into my arms and helping him reach the sink. He washes his hands quickly and wiggles out of my arms and into one of the seats at the kitchen table
Just as I'm about to sit down and enjoy my dinner, a thought forms at the back of my head. Hm, I do have extra food left….maybe Lee would like some?
"Lee-san," I call out from my spot next to the table. I wait patiently as I hear a door open from within the hallway and footfalls coming closer.
"Yes, Yamada-san?"
Woah.
"Oh, um," my speech pattern wavers as my roommate emerges out of the hallway and into the living room. I'm completely caught off-guard by my roommate's new wardrobe. Instead of his usual green attire, he's show casing recently pressed dress pants, shirt, shoes, and complimenting tie. Even his bobbed haircut is slicked back.
Now this is definitely new.
"Well, I was just – um," I'm having trouble forming a coherent sentence. And those enormous eyes of his staring right at me aren't helping either, Maybe I'll stare at his tie or something, "I was just going to offer you some dinner, but it looks like you're going out tonight."
Lee gazes down at himself and fixes his cuff-sleeve with a grin, "Surprisingly, I know. Sakura invited me to a dinner party hosted by one of her co-workers."
"Sounds fancy," I comment, examining him from his shiny hair down to his polished shoes.
"It is," he replies with a soft chuckle. "I do not normally dress like this. Actually, I should take that back. Never have I dressed for this kind of occasion. So you can only imagine how much trouble I had finding something for me."
"I'm sure. I bet you would wear a jump suit if you could," I say humorously.
"There would be no reason to bet on it, since you would surely win." He grins, matching my level of witticism. He then clears his throat and I notice my little cousin is trying to ward him off with weird facial expressions.
"Please don't do that, Endo. It's very rude," I sigh with a shake of my head.
"It is alright, I should be going anyway. Would not want to make Sakura wait," Lee admits, making his way to the front door. "Enjoy dinner you two."
"Thank you, we will." I smile and give a small wave. "Have fun with Sakura."
There's a pause in Lee's step just before he approaches the front door. His shoulders slightly lower, and I debate whether my comment sounded a bit out of context. I'm quickly assured otherwise once he turns to forward me a pinch of a smile, "Of course, I always do."
I nod just as he exists and shuts the door. I don't know exactly why, but I'm furrowing my eyebrows down at my meal. Again, I'm probably over thinking things, but it almost seemed as if my roommate was a little…sad? I shake my head and rid myself of the thought.
"Cho, who's Sakura?" I hear my cousin question.
I look at him, and smile as he takes in a sloppy mouthful of rice. "One of Lee-san's friends."
"Oh, okay...are they gonna' make monkey noises?"
I bring up my hand to his cheek, brushing away a piece of white rice sticking to his skin, "Close your mouth when you chew, Endo. Or else you'll get food all over your cute pajamas."
I don't take to answering his question. The answer bubbling inside makes my chest clench. I frown at the developing feeling.
I don't want to think about it right now.
The funny thing about weather is that it can come and go when you least expect it. It's not even the rainy season in Konoha, yet it's pouring cats and dogs. I can barely make anything out of the pitch-black storm raging outside the living room window. And once thunder and lightening are involved, you can kiss the electricity good bye. To make matters slightly worse, I have just discovered that my little cousin is terrified of storms such as these.
I'm seated at the couch with a shaken Endo burying and sobbing into my side. I've taken the liberty of wrapping him and myself in the coziest blanket I could find in my closet. I don't have much experience with handling children with this particular fear, but I'm lending all my warmth and attention, hoping for the best. Fortunately, I found a candle, which I've lit to keep some of darkness at bay and ease my little cousins fear. Now, I would have done this all in the comfort in my room, but without electricity, my room is just minutes away from becoming a steam room. After living in this apartment for about six months, I've noticed that the living room does get the coldest. Surely, it will stay cool for a while, until the power decides to come back.
"It's alright, Endo. I'm right here." I coo softly, caressing his head with my cheek. "Nothing's going to hurt you, I'll make sure of that."
Only wails and more sobbing answer me. Another clash of thunder encourages his cries, and I bring my little cousin closer and rub his back. I hope the storm passes soon; I sigh at the thought.
Between the clamor of the storm, I hear the front door forced open, filling the living room with the sound of pounding rain. My little cousin cowers at the brief onslaught of noise just before the door slams shut. I turn towards the front of the apartment, blinking blindly through the dimness of the living room.
"Yamada-san, may I ask a favor from you?" The voice belongs to my roommate, and it's mixed with slight panting. The sounds of raindrops trickling onto the wooden floor also accompany him, "Would you mind bringing me a few towels? I do not want to track water all over the apartment."
"Of course, give me one moment," I reply, attempting to get up. My body hesitates mid way, knowing my little cousin is latching onto me for dear life. I take him into my arms and cover him with the blanket, hiding him from any lightening in sight.
I quickly shuffle into the hallway bathroom, plucking two towels hanging on the bathroom door, which I know belong to my roommate. Clumsy as I am, I drop a towel once I step out into the hallway. I struggle to pick it back up, knowing I'm balancing a three year old in one of my arms. Never the less, I recover and make my way over to my roommate.
"Here are your towels, Lee-san." As I approach him, I don't take into consideration before hand that there might have been a puddle forming around him. I make an awkward mouse sound as I feel myself slipping on my toes. Luckily, my roommate has an amazing reflex reaction and latches onto my upper-arm, keeping me safe on my feet.
Phew, that was close.
"Please be careful. The floor around me is very slippery," Lee informs me, still keeping a steady hold on me.
"I realize that now," I reply quietly, shifting out of his touch and handing him his towels.
"Thank you." He relieves me of the towels and immediately puts them to use. I'm about to leave him to dry himself in private until I hear him speak, "Is there something wrong with your little cousin?"
I nod my head, rubbing my cousins small back through the blanket, "Endo's a little scared of the bad weather."
"That is understandable," he comments, rubbing his towel over his jet-black hair. "I used to be the same way, believe it or not."
"Really?" I blink at the new information provided by my roommate. As of right now, I can't really imagine Lee being scared of a little lightening and thunder, even if I picture him younger.
"You sound surprised," he chuckles at my stunned response. "But it is true. I have had old fears, storms being one of them. And now that I am older, I notice I have new ones."
"New fears?" I shift my little cousin on my hip, continuing to watch my roommate dry himself. "Such as?"
Lee pauses for a moment, and it feels like the same pause I noticed before he left on his date earlier in the night. I'm vaguely aware of a half-hearted smile playing across his lips as he resumes what he's doing, "That is something I will have to tell you another time. Once I finish drying, I would like to help you take care of your little cousin."
"Oh, you don't have to." But just as I say this, I gulp down my resistance as I feel his round eyes dig into me for some compliance. Stop being so dismissive Sho, and willingly take some help for once, my subconscious nags, convincing me further. "Um, actually, I'd appreciate the help. Thank you."
Lee nods, gathering his used towels into his arms, "I need to take a quick shower fist, and then I will join you out here in the living room."
"Mhm, take your time if you need it," I reply, carefully making my way away from my roommate and taking a seat once again on the couch with my little cousin. I hear him agree and cross the living room into the hallway, entering the bathroom. I hope he doesn't slip in there; I think worriedly to myself. I trust that since he's a ninja, a little darkness won't catch him off guard. On the other hand, if I were attempting to take a shower in the dark, you could definitely expect the outcome of a murder scene within the first five minutes.
After ten minutes of waiting and running a reassuring hand over my little cousins back, Lee appears in his normal wear (minus the vest) into the living room. I smile as he approaches, "So, what's the plan?"
"You will see," he grins back at me.
I watch with brimming curiosity as he kneels in front of where my little cousin is shivering against me inside the blanket. I slightly unravel us, allowing Lee to catch a glimpse at the three year old.
"Hello, Endo. Yamada-san has told me you and thunder storms do not get along very well." Although my roommate is met with continued sobs and not even a bat of a lash, he remains persistent with a smile, "You know, I used to let thunder storms bully me all the time, but one day I said 'no more!' And do you know what I did?"
I'm shifting in my seat, feeling my little cousin respond to my roommate by finally revealing his sulking face. His cute face is covered in sticky tears and boogers tempting to drip from his nose at any second. And as much as I want to just wipe him down, I don't interfere with this magical moment happening right in front me.
"W-whut?" I hear my little cousin choke through his mucus and heavy sniffles, making me want to clap my hands in excitement. Look's like it's working, thank goodness.
Lee's present smile creases even more, "I used my fists to fight them off fair and square. And I will show you how I did it right this minute."
Oh, now this I have to see.
I watch with an amused air about me as my roommate hustles over to the living room window. He draws the curtains so that the brewing sky is visible. I sit with my curiosity peeked and energy stirred as he takes a unique stance just a yard away from the window. There's a flash of lightening that fills the living room and I see my roommate's chest fill with one deep breath.
Thunder follows and I refrain from jumping from my seat as my roommate exhales, releasing one big "Ha!" as he thrusts his fists out in front of him. His voice remains loud and prominent, while his punches continue to fly, until the thunder finally dies down. I'm truly mesmerized at the display, and even my little cousin is staring with glossy eyes at my roommate.
"Come on, join me," he says enthusiastically, turning out of his stance and practically hoping to the front of the couch. He then flashes a goofy grin, "Let us fight off this storm as a two-man one woman team."
I nod with a small smile, lifting myself onto my feet. I then glance at my little cousin hesitating to stand.
"It's okay, Endo," I say with assurance, extending my hand for him to take. "We'll beat this thunderstorm together."
Between his sniffles and small tears, his tiny hands take mine. Easing him off the couch, we all walk to stand a few paces before the window.
"Okay, is everyone ready?" Lee questions, turning his head towards Endo and I.
"Ready," I reply, shifting my attention down at my cousin and lightly squeezing his hand, "How about you, Endo? Ready to kick some butt?"
Endo bobs his head up and down, attempting to wipe his boogers away with his hand still stuck to mine. I shiver at the new wet feeling on the top of my palm, Guess I'm going to need to wash my hands before bed tonight.
"Yosh! Then let us take our butt-kicking positions," Lee proclaims energetically, and I cover my mouth to swallow my giggles. I'm so amused and happy to see this side of my roommate. Recently, I feel as if this portion of his personality was somehow being suppressed by a reason still unknown to me. There's a part of me that wants to talk to him about it, but then I'm reminded I've only known him for six months. I could argue that I don't even know him all too well, despite sleeping only a hallway down from him every night.
I should probably just let it go. We're just roommates after all.
Right?
My thoughts are once again swimming, but I ease myself back into this moment. This moment that I'm enjoying with my little cousin and roommate.
All the while, Lee is gladly helping my little cousin take a fighting position of his own. It's incredibly adorable watching my roommate work his instructing skills. It takes everything in the world for me not to ogle them both. And it takes even more for me not to turn completely red as Lee shifts his attention to me.
"You have the right idea, Yamada-san. You just need to raise your hands a little higher." Without any permission, my heart swells with nervousness once I feel Lee right next to me. I glance over at him, and notice his hands are hesitant to take mine.
His dusky circles press into my own, "May I?"
"You may," I murmur mutely, granting him permission.
He nods his head and gently takes both of my hands in his. His touch is warm, and this little observation of mine makes my cheeks burn and tingle. What is wrong with me? I hold my breath as I watch him adjust my hands to his liking. Thankfully, the feeling of asphyxiation chokes out any room for fluster as I take a needed breath.
"Perfect. You are a natural, Yamada-san." His compliment causes my stomach muscles to clench, a feeling recently experienced not too long ago. So much for holding my breath, I bid myself internally. I can't believe how many triggers are firing from this slight contact; I'm continuously revisiting the night of Valentine's Day in my head. And now that I'm thinking back on that night, my subconscious is bitterly tapping her toes, wishing to turn back the clock and do it all over again. This time, without restraint and just full enjoyment.
Wait, what?
Alright, so I will make a confession and say that my libido levels are higher than usual tonight. I mean; I've been celibate for a little over half a year already, so there's really no surprise. Come on, Sho. You're a grown girl; you can control yourself.
I purse my lips as my subconscious calls forth my id, who merely rolls her eyes at me, 'Sheesh, you're such a prude. Just have sex with the guy already; he sleeps just down the hall for god's sakes!'
I bite my bottom lip, urging thoughts from my super-ego to calm my ravenous id, 'Seriously? This is her roommate we're talking about here! There is a line of boundaries we can't cross; can you imagine the awkwardness the next day?'
My id crosses her arms, raising a brow, 'Oh, and so you think that should stop her from having fun? Please, it'll only be awkward if it stops after one night. Who says it won't continue? Can't be awkward if it becomes routine.'
'He's dating someone already, end of discussion.'
'That never stopped anyone,' I can feel my id lower her eyes at me, 'Right, Sho? You should be familiar with the situation. But only now, you're on the other side of it. Doesn't seem all too bad now, natural even, hm?'
My super-ego narrows her own eyes, 'Stop taunting her; she isn't the kind of person to do something like that, knowing exactly how it feels. So how about you crawl back under the slutty rock you came from and hide there for a while.'
A crocked smile possess the lips of my id, 'Sure, I'll leave now. But I'll be back, and just so you know….nothing's going to stop me next time.'
A shiver crawls up my spine and up my neck. I don't want 'next time' to come anytime soon, or at all – ever! To stoop down to the level of that blond succubus would be a lowly act on my part. I would certainly be lower than dirt; so much that even the earth worms wouldn't want anything to do with me.
"Yamada-san? Is everything alright?" I hear my roommate call to me.
I welcome the sound of Lee's voice pulling me back to reality. I think I had enough time inside my own mind, witnessing my insanity at its full potential. I smile awkwardly in response, "I'm fine, sorry. I was just distracted."
"Seems to happen a lot, from what I have noticed," he grins back.
I blink my lashes at him, "Really? How can you tell?"
"It is only an observation, so I could be wrong, but you tend to bite your bottom lip. If I am not mistaken."
He's been observing me? Well, at least it's good to know I haven't been the only one.
"Monkeys!" My little cousin pipes in, pointing a small finger at my roommate and I. During my little internal battle, I had forgotten my little cousin was still in the same area. I gulp hard and shift my hands from his hold as my roommate gives me a questionable look. I quickly avoid touching upon the context of the word by suggesting we continue with our activity.
We do, and before I know it we're all punching the air in front of us, howling at the thunder and lighting like wild animals. My little cousin is all too excited, jumping and kicking with no fear in sight. He's so enthusiastic, he almost falls over, but Lee and I catch him just before he does. We all then look to each other and laugh, relishing in this free spirited moment. The feeling is so incredible that I begin to forget all the recent negative things that have happened before meeting my roommate. From the memories of my ex-boyfriend, to the harlot, they all seem so far away and insignificant.
I glance over at Lee and he catches my stare. We're both panting, but we send each other a grin. A sense of appreciation is sewn into our smiles, and I mouth out the words 'Thank-you'. His own lips move with a silent, 'Thank-you, too'.
I don't understand why he's thanking me. I don't believe I've done anything to be thanked for, but I don't question it and nod.
And for the rest of the night, I couldn't stop smiling.