Chapter 35

Scarlett felt uneasy. She threw a furtive glance at Hanna and frowned to herself. A few years back, if she had ever met Hanna and had the same conversation with her, she would have thought her a fool for revealing her blindness and not asking for a salary. She would have also thought Hanna helpless and foolish for allowing starvation to take away her eyesight. Somehow she did not think this way now.

"What has changed?" asked Scarlett to herself.

Before, she had been a harsh judge of people who wouldn't seize opportunities, people who still pretended that the world hadn't changed and that they could afford to be genteel and generous. She would have judged them to be fools.

But she didn't think that way now.

When she looked at Hanna again, she knew the young woman was looking for the exact same thing that she herself had looked for - security. And somehow, ever sine Rhett walked out on her, she was becoming more and more convinced that that the feeling of security would never really exist for her ever again.

"Hanna, listen-" said Scarlett, after a moment. "I shall speak to Miss. Pauline all about you and I can only hope she looks past your blindness and helps you find a good Charleston family that will take you. But even then, I think you should demand a salary... after all, you are free now-"

"Oh no, Miss. Scarlett." Hanna flushed hard.

"Well? Why not? A little money saved up in a bank will do you a lot of good, wouldn't it?"

"No ma'am." Hanna looked upset and perplexed. But she couldn't speak English well enough to express her feelings. But she tried. "If I ask money.. the mistress..she will not speak to me- not freely.. like in the old days-"

"What do you mean?" asked Scarlett, frowning. "Your mistress used to confide in you?"

Hanna looked bewildered.

Scarlett repeated her question in simpler words. "Did your mistress speak to you about herself?"

"Oh yes!" answered Hanna, with an expansive smile. "She spoke only to me."

Scarlett gave a patronizing smile. "That was only because we were all rich in those days. Times have changed. Now we can no longer idle our time-"

"No. No." replied Hanna, shaking her head vehemently. "It's not money-"

"I don't understand. Of course its money-"

"No, it is not. Forgive me-" Hanna began to speak in broken English. "Quality folk..always the same...no matter what troubles come. My Miss.. she speak to me all day long.. I fix her hair and she speak to me.. she tell me stories..ask my advice and I speak to her.. and I feel I belong. I am in the family. I belong."

"Yes yes..but times have changed now. Your Miss can't afford you-"

"No. My Miss.. she died-"

"Oh."

"If my Miss were still alive, she would tell me tales before the war.. I would still listen and I would belong-"

"But all those tales would only bring sadness, wouldn't it? What is the use of it all?"

"The use? Why? I feel important because I make my Miss happy-"

"By listening to her."

"Oh yes! Yankee family was willing to hire me for a week. They offer good money. But I refuse."

"Why?!"

"Because they hire me, pay me and then where do I go? Where do I belong? I am not important. Just something to be paid-"

"But..but-" Scarlett felt distressed. "Why should you care? You have money,don't you?"

"Money I have. But I want to feel important too. Money cannot give me that."