A/N: Hello my lovelies! Sorry about the delays, but I've been building my mummy a pavilion and that's been eating up all my free time.

Huge shout out to TheAeacusProject! You rock, my friend!

And what would this space be without a shout out to my partner in crime, mswitsend? Nothing, that's what! Love ya, babes...(p.s. Sorry I didn't get this out yesterday, but Effy and Emily wouldn't shut up;D)

Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, but what I do own is a copy of "Set the Thames On Fire"...the lengths I will go to to see Lily Loveless...just saying!

Chapter 7: The Quiet and Confused Heart

They celebrated the completion of the first home on Saturday, along with the family and their two kids, but Naomi and Effy drug the whole crew to a new hot club after filming had ended and they left the family to settle in. Cook and Effy were making it their job that everyone was having a fun time.

Emily, however, was not having an enjoyable time.

It's not that she didn't want to, but now she was so confused about everything, that it was hard to.

She realised that Naomi was serious about her desire, as she had caught scorching looks from the blonde from across the work site. The kind that would make Emily go weak in the knees. And even when she wasn't looking into those blue eyes, Emily could feel the looks. It felt as if someone had physically reached out and caressed her.

Emily cherished those looks and the little smiles and the quick winks that Naomi would send her, but what she had really been enjoying, until a couple days ago, were the moments when Naomi would corner Emily alone. Those moments of pleasure had come to a grinding halt as soon as a disgustingly familiar pink Mini Cooper pulled up in front of the house.

Georgina had hopped out of the car and ran to Emily, embracing her as if it had been years instead of a couple of weeks since they had last seen each other. Emily felt herself flinch at the contact, catching Naomi's eyes over Georgie's shoulder and felt confusion hit once more as the blonde smirked before turning to go into the production trailer.

So now, whilst everyone else was out on the dance floor or up at the bar ordering more drinks, Emily was sat at one of the tables they had been occupying, her back facing the corner as she watched Naomi dancing with some random guy and Georgina sitting next to her, talking about something or other. There was a mixture of extreme annoyance and jealousy swirling around Emily and she wondered how Georgie didn't notice it.

"Emily?"

And how could Naomi let that guy put his hands on her like that? Emily was seething, every time that wanker ran his hands over the blonde's body, Emily had to fight the urge to jump up and rip them off. But was that really her problem? Did she have a right to Naomi? Could she beg for exclusivity when she was still technically with her girlfriend?

"Emsy, honey, are you listening to me?"

There was a buzzing in her ears that rivaled the bass beat of the music as she glared at yet another tosser who had slid in behind Naomi as the song changed. Emily wanted to march right over there and drag Naomi away from the dance floor and find a secluded spot to stake her claim, but she knew she couldn't. The exact reason was escaping her at the moment but she knew there was one.

"Emily, sweetheart, I'm talking to you, dear."

Emily blinked rapidly as the reason she wasn't dancing with Naomi was suddenly thrust in her face as Georgina leant over and kissed her.

"What the fuck, Georgie!" Emily pulled away and glared, wiping at her lips with the back of her hand. "Why do you insist on using those names?" She demanded as the pet names Georgie was using finally sunk in.

Georgina looked hurt for a split second, looking as if Emily had slapped her, but her gaze narrowed to a glare and normally, Emily would take that look as a warning and placate her girlfriend, but tonight she couldn't even drum up the energy to do so.

"I've been sitting here for twenty minutes, trying to talk to you!" Georgie snapped out, slapping a hand down on the table. "What the fuck is wrong with you, dear?"

Emily stood up so fast that her chair slammed into the wall behind her. She needed to get out of there and she needed to breathe fresh air and she needed to be away from her girlfriend and anywhere away that didn't include random guys rubbing their fucking body parts against her Naomi!

She turned to leave when she was suddenly reminded of the large amount of alcohol she had consumed, as the room started to spin and her knees buckled and she felt as if she was about to go down. Emily caught herself on the table next to her and took a few deep breaths, but she couldn't stop the wild beating of her heart as she became anxious. To make matters worse, Georgie was still there, calling her those fucking pet names. And it seemed that Georgie did it more when she thought Emily wasn't paying her enough attention.

"Honey, are you okay?"

Emily could hear the condescending tone and groaned. "For the last fucking time," the groan turned into a growl, as she noticed the smirk on Georgie's face, "stop with the fucking pet names! I'm going out for some air, just...leave me be, yeah?"

Emily didn't even bother to look at her girlfriend, as she finally made her way out of the club. She walked over to a table that had been set up out back for the smokers and sat down, taking deep breaths. She knew that something had to change and it had to change soon, but for now, she just needed to breathe.

Effy waited until she saw Emily slip out the door before she made her way over to the table, where Georgina sat with an angry expression on her face.

"Trouble in paradise?" Effy smirked, already knowing the answer. She sat down before the other girl could answer, and sipped from the drink in her hand. "Is Emily okay?"

Georgie shrugged and sent a grimace in Effy's direction. "She shouldn't drink then, should she?" She replied, turning her eyes toward the dance floor. "She knows I hate it and I think she does it to piss me off."

Effy shook her head. "I highly doubt that." She replied, keeping her eyes focused on Georgina. "I think she's under a lot of pressure now, with her new job and having been put in the spotlight and all...," Effy felt the need to defend her new friend and in an odd way, Naomi as well, "you could cut her a bit of slack, maybe."

"How would you know? You don't even know Emily, so why don't you just mind your own business!" Georgie snapped. She hated the thought that someone might know more than her about what her girlfriend was going through. It was bad enough that she had to constantly worry about the blonde bitch always hanging around Emily, and it's not like she didn't see the looks they shared back in Bristol. She wasn't stupid, no matter what Emily might think.

Effy sat up straighter in her seat, feeling a usual surge of anger rush through her. "Emily is my business now. It's my job to make sure she's alright, it's in the contract," she smirked even though her gaze was fierce, holding Georgie in place, "so I have to be aware of anything that could upset her and delay shooting the show. So, what I'm wondering, is if you're going to be a hindrance to my show?"

Georgie wanted to get up and leave, she didn't want to be bothered with any of these new people in Emily's life. Katie and Cook were bad enough without adding to the growing list of people constantly watching over Emily, as if she was a fragile China doll about to break at any moment. But she couldn't seem to move, feeling pinned down by the weight of that unshakable gaze.

"The thing is, Georgie," Effy's smirk became a weapon, and she was about to draw blood, "Emily's work ethic has dropped since you've arrived and it's not good for filming."

"How the fuck is that my fault?" Georgie sat up, breaking away from the soul-searching glare. She could feel her face heat up and thanked god that it was dark enough in the club so that Effy didn't see it. "It's not like I have any control over Emily, and believe me, I've tried!"

Georgina slapped her hand over her mouth, wishing could take back those words, whilst Effy sat back and her smirked turned into a smile and she raised her eyebrow in question of what the girl had just said knowing, just like Georgina, that she had said too much.

"I didn't mean tha-,"

"Oh, I think I know exactly what you meant." Effy replied, refusing to let her finish as she stood up. She knew back in Bristol what type of girl Georgina was, and tonight only confirmed it. "Interesting statement, wouldn't you agree?" Effy let the words hang in the air between them before leaving the girl alone and made her way out to find Emily.

The music was flowing through Naomi as she danced. It made her skin buzz and she laughed at the feeling. Even the black spot that was Georgina couldn't dampen how she felt. Admittedly, she was quite angry when she saw the woman clinging to Emily mere seconds after she arrived the other day, but the memory of what her and Emily had been doing ten minutes prior to her arrival had calmed the unusual surge of jealousy.

She really wanted to be dancing with Emily. Or kissing Emily. Or even just talking with Emily. That's how bad she had it. But Naomi had kept her distance while Georgie was here because she had seen the look of pure panic and something else on Emily's face and Naomi didn't want to make it worse for her. So, she went about her business, kept any Emily interactions to a necessary minimum, and tried not to rip out Georgie's eyes for looking at the redhead. That would've been a huge tip off, right?

Naomi stopped moving to the music, shrugging off the hands of her latest dance partner when she realised that she hadn't seen Emily in a while. She had been making sure to keep an eye on her as she sat with Georgie, drinking a lot. Naomi had noticed on other nights out how Emily would get pissed and she worried even then, but tonight the redhead seemed to be in a mission to get as wasted as possible as quickly as possible and Naomi was scared.

She looked over toward the table where she had last seen Emily, but could only see Georgie and Effy, so she started to make her way around the club. Naomi spotted Cook with some random at the bar and made her way over to him.

"Have you seen Emily?" She asked, making sure to get close enough so he could hear her.

Cook removed his tongue from the girl's mouth and stood up straight, suddenly sober. "She's not at the table?" He replied with a question of his own, feeling stupid as he pushed away from the girl as Naomi shook her head. "Fuck!"

Naomi watched as he became anxious and charged his way through the crowd. It was interesting to see him morph into an adult and she followed him to the table.

"Where is she?" He growled out, making Georgina jump in her seat.

"I don't fucking know, I'm not her babysitter!" Georgie shouted back, getting tired of everyone banging on about her girlfriend, but then looked behind Cook to see Naomi standing there. "Fucking great! What do you want?"

Cook was visibly shaking with anger as he checked the urge to strangle Georgie. "For fucks sake, you know how she is, girl! You're her girlfriend! Don't you fucking care at all about her?"

Georgina had had enough. She was sick of being ignored and lectured to, she was done having strangers talking to her about Emily and she was sure as fuck done with Cook, Cook of all people, making her feel like a child whilst he was the mature one. She stood up and looked him in the eye. "Fuck you, Cook! I don't need this shit!" She spat out as she grabbed her jacket and her purse. "She's a big girl, ya know, but if you're so concerned about her, why don't you go find her! And when you do, tell her I'll be waiting at home for an apology!"

Naomi watched in shock, as Georgina started to walk past her, but heard the comment that was spat at her. "I blame you for this!" Georgie stormed off, leaving a bewildered Naomi and a fuming Cook in her wake.

"FUCK!" Cook shouted, making Naomi jump. "C'mon, Naomikins, let's go find 'er, yeah?"

Effy stood at the corner of the building, smoking and watching Emily. She had never seen a more broken person in her life and something inside her made her want to protect this small woman.

Emily sat on the ground, with her back against the wall, and Effy could see her face in the pale glow of the lamplight. She was crying. Not sobbing uncontrollably, that wouldn't be like Emily. No, these were silent tears. The kind that slipped through unnoticed and unchecked, the kind that had to be shed because something heavy weighed upon the person crying them.

Something had happened in the last week, something between Emily and Naomi, Effy was sure of it, because both had been smiling a little more than usual, but that had changed when Emily's girlfriend arrived. Emily's smiles became nonexistent unless she was on camera, and Effy realised that she missed those smiles.

"C'mon, Emsy," Effy held out her hand to the younger twin, startling her in the process, "let's go somewhere and talk, yeah?"

Emily stared up at her boss and felt embarrassment flood through her. "I'm sorry, Ef-,"

Effy waved away Emily's words. "Don't, okay? You haven't done anything wrong. You just look like you need someone who won't judge you to listen when you talk, am I right? And I happen to be a very good listener, so...let's get somewhere warmer and quieter and have a nice cuppa and you can talk if you want to."

"Okay." Emily replied quietly, taking Effy outstretched hand and allowed the brunette to pull her to a standing position.

"I know this great little café a few blocks from blocks from here, open all night." Effy explained as they started walking. "This place was a huge lifesaver when Naomi and I were at Uni. They make a seriously excellent Full English? Cures whatever's wrong, trust me."

"I'm sorry about this, Effy." Emily felt the need to say it, to apologise for the shit she'd brought on the past couple days. "Georgina just...she's well...she's clingy, and I tried to get her not to come, but...,"

"Georgina's a control freak who can't control you, that's all she is, babe." Effy stated and smirked. "Here we are!" Effy exclaimed as she opened the door to the little café. "After you, milady."

Effy left her words about Georgie hanging and Emily didn't push it, as they entered and found a seat, but as soon as the young waitress left after taking their order, she turned that mystifying gaze back to Emily.

"Why?" Effy asked, as she took the pot of water that the waitress had set on the table and started making a cup of tea.

Emily sighed deeply, knowing what Effy meant. It was a simple question, so small a word, but it was such a heavy one and Emily didn't know if she could answer properly.

"Shouldn't we let Katie know where I am, she'll worry if-,"

"I've already texted Naomi and told her to let Katie and Cook know where we are," Effy said, smiling a small smile, pushing a cup in front of her, "now, quit stalling."

Again, Emily sighed and picked up the cup, blowing on the hot liquid before taking a sip, giving herself a few more seconds. "I don't know why I'm still with her, to be honest."

"I think you do, Emily." Effy stated, setting her cup down and focusing that gaze on the redhead. "Give it a minute and try again."

Emily scoffed and rolled her eyes, causing Effy to smirk because it was a fairly accurate impersonation of Naomi, and that smirk made Emily feel angry. "What do you want me to say, Effy? Why does everyone want something from me? Why can't I just be allowed to breathe without having someone on my back about it?"

"Because people care about you," Effy replied calmly, countering Emily's aggression, "or haven't you figured that out?" She let that sink in before she continued. "You had the worst thing that could happen happen to you," Emily's eyes went wide in surprise as Effy kept talking, "Katie told me about it-,"

Emily panicked as Effy admitted that. "You haven't told Naomi, have you?" She was shaking, the shame she was feeling at just the thought that Naomi might know...she wouldn't be able to handle that. Emily felt Effy's hand on her arm, comforting her and she couldn't stop the tears as she felt them spill again. "I couldn't take her knowing-,"

"Emily, stop. I haven't said anything to anyone, yeah?" Effy moved closer to the redhead, wrapping an arm around her, giving her a gentle squeeze. "Look, Naomi's my best friend, has been for years, so I know you're probably thinking that I tell her everything, but it isn't my place to tell her this. I would never do that, okay?"

Emily sniffed back the tears, wiped her face and thought about what Effy said. "Okay...I...it's just...," Emily stopped talking, long enough to gather herself, "I was stronger, you know...before...her. I grew up with Katie for fucks sake!" She scoffed, rolling her eyes and Effy chuckled, but didn't say anything. "I wasn't weak, I could defend myself, ya know?"

"So, what changed?" Effy asked, taking a sip of her tea.

Emily followed suit, giving herself that extra time to compose her thoughts. "I thought I needed her. She made me feel like...," she paused to find the right analogy, "...you know how water breaks down rock over time? The constant running of a stream will smooth out the roughest stone?" Effy nodded and Emily continued. "She was the water and I became the rock."

"But you saw what she was doing, right?"

Emily shook her head sadly. "Not at first. She was very good at hiding who she really was, but slowly, bit by bit, she chipped away until she got what she wanted and by then, well...," she shrugged, feeling small. She always felt small whenever she thought of Felicity. She glanced at Effy and realised that she wanted to say something and decided to answer before she asked. "I don't know why I let it go on for as long as it did, Effy."

Effy heard the defeat and felt bad. "I'm not judging you, at all, Emily. There really is no reason whatsoever behind domestic violence," she hurriedly clarified, "I was just thinking about a film Naomi did when she went to school in the States on the subject. You should watch it. Does Georgina...?"

"No, never."

"And what about...?" Effy asked, tapping her finger against her temple, knowing that Emily would understand.

The redhead sighed again, but shrugged. "She tries...but she's more of an annoyance than an abuser. I just don't care what she does, so it doesn't affect me when she tries to hurt me with words. I know it makes me weak, keeping her around, but...,"

"It does nothing of the sort, Emily." Effy stated firmly, waiting until Emily looked at her before going on. "No one blames you for trying to protect yourself, and the shame you feel about what happened? Well, only you can decide when it's time to forgive yourself, okay? It's my job to make for sure you're okay, and I'll do whatever I can to make that happen."

Emily was about to respond when the waitress brought their food out.

"Speaking of you and Naomi...," Effy felt a change of topic was called for and Emily groaned loudly as she was reminded of her other problem, which made Effy laugh, "what's happening there?"

"I honestly have no idea." Emily answered honestly, relived to be able to talk to someone about it.

Effy smirked again as she watched the redhead squirm. "You've been shagging." She stated simply, enjoying the blush that started to spread across Emily's face.

"Um, not exactly...," Was Emily's mumbled reply.

She couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up as she looked at Emily. "How the fuck do you not exactly shag?" Effy asked.

Emily realised how ridiculous her words sounded and her laughter joined with Effy's. "It's all stolen kisses and fleeting touches and scorching looks across the build site." Emily told her before giving it any thought. "I haven't slept with Georgie since that night."

Effy didn't say anything because she found that Emily talked more when she could take her time, but she knew what she meant.

"At first it was because I felt guilty, but then...I don't know, somewhere along the line, I think it was because I knew...if things had been different, maybe if I had met Naomi when I was younger...sometimes I get the feeling that things weren't supposed to be this way, ya know? Do you ever get the feeling that your life was supposed to happen differently?" Emily asked, not even caring that she sounded insane.

"All the time." Effy replied with a smile. "I get what you mean though and I can see it. You and Naomi as love's young dream, making out between classes at school...or maybe Naomi would've run."

"What do you mean?"

"Naomi's a runner. When shit gets too much or too hard to handle," Effy felt a little bit bad talking about her friend this way, but she was never one for shying away from the truth, "she pushes people away and runs to avoid. She was...difficult...when she was younger and realised she was gay. Let's just say, that meeting her now is definitely in your favour, Emsy. She would've ended up hurting you."

"She could ruin me now."

The words were said quietly, so quietly in fact that Effy wasn't for sure if Emily said them or not until she saw the blush on her face and the tears that were threatening to spill again and she was about to respond when the bell above the café door sounded and Cook and Freddie, along with JJ, made their presence known, ending whatever conversation was left between Effy and Emily.

"Again, Emsy?" Katie asked quietly as she sat on one side of her sister, with Naomi sitting on the other side looking between Emily and Effy, wondering what was said between them.

Naomi was about to ask when Effy got her attention and shook her head slightly, letting her know that it wouldn't be wise to bring it up, so she changed the topic. "I could fucking murder a Full English!" She stated cheerfully as she eyed up Emily's plate with her barely touched food and smiled.

Emily returned it and signaled the waitress over so everyone could order. She sat back, watching as her sister and best friends laughed and talked and joked with JJ, Effy and Naomi. It was so easy, the way they all blended together. It felt natural, she thought as Effy was telling Katie and Cook about when JJ first joined the company, and seeing him blush when Naomi reached over to ruffle his curly hair.

They all finished eating and Cook talked Freddie and JJ into hitting up an after party, leaving the four girls alone.

"What about it? Can't let the boys have all the fun, can we?" Katie asked, hoping that Emily would stay out and not head back home to where Georgie waited for her.

Emiky shook her head. "I'm done for the night, Kay...you go, ya? Have fun."

"C'mon, Emsy."

"I'm fine, Katie. I promise." She threw done some money to cover her bill and stood up.

"I'm gonna head home as well." Naomi said quickly, digging through her pockets for her share of the food. "Ems, wait up, I'll walk with you a bit! Night guys."

Naomi followed Emily out and they started to walk in silence, until Naomi couldn't stand it any longer.

"Are you alright, Ems?"

Emily sighed and dropped her head. "Naoms, please...don't? I already get enough from Katie and Cook, I don-,"

"I'm not giving you shit, Ems," she clarified, putting her hand out to touch the twin, causing them both to stop walking, "I was literally terrified when I didn't see you in the club, okay? Look, I know I dropped a bomb on you last week, and since then we've not really...well, you know," Emily felt her face heat up as Naomi smirked down at her, "and then Georgie showed up...what I'm saying is, I know I promised you something and I haven't really been able to deliver on that, so...I'm sorry about that. If it's me that's making you unhappy-,"

"This is such a mess, isn't it? I'm a fucking mess!" Emily stated, exasperated. "Look, I make myself unhappy, alright? I have done for a long time and I just...I don't know how to stop, yeah? Being with you, even now, just talking, is the only time I feel a glimmer of happiness, but I also know that you scare the shit out of me, Naoms. Like, heart fluttering happy and bone chilling scared. I'm complicated and you seem to make it better and worse all at the same time and I don't have a fucking clue what to do with that info. But I do know what's waiting for me at home and I don't wanna be there, so I'm just gonna walk around and try and clear my thoughts."

Naomi cocked her head to the side and considered the girl before her. Should she tell Emily how she really feels? Or should she just keep it to herself? But when she opened her mouth, telling Emily how she felt was not what came out.

"My mum went to back to Ireland for a few days and won't be home until Sunday night." She blurted out, confusing Emily, and feeling like a geeky teenage boy getting the nerve up to lose his virginity.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Ah, what I meant...," Naomi blushed, thanking whoever was listening that it was dark out and Emily couldn't see it, "you don't want to go home and I don't want you to go home and I have my flat all to myself...," Emily smiled a real smile for the first time that night as Naomi stuttered over herself, but she just kept on going, "and it doesn't even have to be about sex really, because whilst it's nice and all, I just wanna spend time with you and not have it be about the show. And I have a comfy sofa?"

Now Emily laughed, a full laugh that came from her belly. "Naomi Campbell, are inviting me back to your place for dirty sex?"

"If that's what you want, Ems," Naomi told her quietly, stepping close so she could be heard, "but seriously, even if you just want to sleep, that'd be okay too."

Emily felt her heart speeding up, on the verge of bursting from sweetness overload. She gave it a few minutes of hard thought before reaching out to take Naomi's hand. "Lead the way, yeah?"

Naomi couldn't help the burst of excitement that rushed her system as she gently squeezed the hand in hers and her smile seemed to grow bigger as she led Emily through the lamplit streets.

Emily woke up just as the sun was starting to peek out and paint the sky a faint purple and she just lay in bed, wondering when she had ever felt so relaxed. As much as she wanted to attribute that to good sex, she couldn't because Naomi was true to her word. They only talked and drank tea. Emily didn't really feel like drinking the vodka Naomi offered and felt at ease when Naomi didn't tease her when she asked for tea.

Naomi asked safe questions and Emily could tell she wanted to dig deeper, but she didn't and Emily was more grateful for that than she could say. They talked about work, about the next house that they would be starting the following Monday and they talked about their families, how Naomi lost her stepfather and Emily told Naomi about losing her mum when she was little. She found herself falling deeper when Naomi hugged her tightly as she cried over that loss, and new she was in trouble, in real danger falling completely, as Naomi led her to her bedroom when she kept yawning, and tried making a joke about Naomi taking advantage of her.

"You need sleep, Ems. As much as I'd love to take advantage of you, you're wrecked, yeah? You can barely keep your eyes open, so c'mon."

She had texted Katie to let her know she was staying over at Naomi's whilst Naomi was in the bathroom and smiled as the blonde came back in the room, holding a large t-shirt for her to wear. Once they were ready, Naomi guided Emily down on the bed and wrapped her arms around the tiny woman. It was enough to set Emily's tears free again and she could only nod her head when Naomi asked if she was alright. She buried her face in the crook of Naomi's neck and breathed in deeply before closing her eyes and letting sleep take over.

But now in the faint light of the early morning, still wrapped up in Naomi's arms, Emily realised that she was in bigger trouble than she had first assumed as the full impact of how she felt for Naomi hit her square in the chest. And if her life was a mess before, it had just become a disaster area.

She slipped out of bed as quietly as possible, intent on leaving as quickly as possible, but as she reached the door she glanced back and caught sight of Naomi, who had snuggled up with the pillow she had been using and had felt all the air leave her lungs.

Emily was in love, like seriously, all out in love with Naomi and she knew she was a goner.

Alright, there we go...another one down. What is our poor Emily gonna do?

thank you so much for reading, and if you wanna leave a kind word or two, I'd be okay with that ;D