Chapter 24: Love
The rain pours relentlessly over Konoha, casting a hazy grayness over the village. A thick damp air has settled in, forming tiny droplets on my exposed skin. On my way back to my apartment, the rainfall had brewed into a frightful thing. I watch the hail of rain from underneath a store veranda, embracing the biting air nipping at my arms and ankles. It doesn't appear the storm will pass any time soon, so I waltz into the bookstore behind me. I enter the shop and exhale contentedly at the warmth graciously welcoming me. While I'm here, I decide to browse the store's collection to pass the time. I skim through various books detailing anything related to cooking, arts and crafts, and tasteless jokes. Standing in the middle of the Humor/Adult aisle, I'm giggling persistently to myself at a particular phrase. I'm chuckling and enjoying myself so much that I hardly recognize a presence next to me.
"Sho?"
I hear the voice, familiar and distant, and look away from the book in my hands. My eyes widen at the sight of the person next to me, and my mouth gapes rudely without my intention.
"Eiji," I whisper my ex-boyfriend's name, surprised that I'm sharing this moment with him.
"I knew it was you," he chuckles softly, and the hairs on my arms bristle at the sound. "Short girl with her nose in a book and laughing to herself like no one's around; I thought, 'Yeah, that has to be her.' "
"Well, it's me." I laugh nervously, closing my book and placing it back onto the bookshelf. I stare down at my bare wrist and click my tongue in dismay, "Wow, now would you look at the time. Looks like I have to go, but it was nice seeing you again."
"Whoa, Sho. Slow down a bit," Eiji says, advancing closer. He casts an amused grin down at me, "I know you don't have anything to do right now. You're in this bookstore just like me because you're stuck from the rain, right?"
"I might be," I mumble, turning my cheek away from him. Out of all the people that I could be stuck here with; he doesn't even like reading. "So what's going on, Eiji? Is there something you wanted from me? I know you didn't come up to me just to say 'hello'."
"You're right, I didn't," he agrees with a casual smile. "I wanted to ask if you'd like to chat with me over some coffee. I know how much you like that stuff, and they have a café here."
"Bribing me with coffee? That's pretty clever of you," I state crossing my arms. I pause, releasing my arms with a sigh, "I don't know, Eiji. What you're asking of me is a little much. Especially since…"
"I know, and I completely understand if you say no," he counters, a tinge of guilt embedded in his delivery. "But I promise I'm not trying to trick you or anything like that. I just sincerely want to buy you coffee and see how you're doing. It's…really the least I can do for everything."
My eyes float up to catch his golden hues glistening with a genuine resolve to treat me. "Please, Sho? Just let me do this one thing for you, and you'll never have to deal with me again."
I pinch my lips to the side in contemplation. I'm uncertain if this is such a good idea in retrospective. However, I favor the fact that he's openly stated he won't bother me after this, and since it's only once during this inconvenient storm, I guess it wouldn't hurt to indulge him.
Free coffee is always better than no coffee.
"Alright, Eiji. I'll let you buy me a cup," I say quietly, tucking a strand of chocolate hair behind my ear. "Do you remember my usual?"
"If it's a latte with two sugars, then yeah, I remember," he says proudly, motioning us out of the aisle.
I trail behind him as we head to the bookstore's café. He follows through and orders a latte for me, buying a plain coffee for himself. He even decides to purchase a slice of marble cake to go along with my coffee. It wasn't necessary, but I guess he caught my almost flirtatious gaze with the pastry.
We settle down at a small table near a windowpane, so that we can watch the rain beat in rhythm against the glass as we sip on our hot drinks. We begin chatting about the simple things, until our conversation begins to delve into more personal subjects. I'm asked the infamous inquiry of, "Are you seeing anyone now?" I can only shake my head lightly.
"No, I'm not," I say and my ex's features seem to instantly light up at this note. "What about you? Are you still with—?"
"No, I ended it a while ago," Eiji breaks in. "It wasn't going anywhere."
"Sorry to hear that," I give my condolences, but he merely shakes his head at my sympathy.
"It's fine, our relationship wasn't right from the beginning," he says, before falling into a heavy silence. I take this moment to sip mutely at my coffee before he speaks again, "I really am sorry, Sho. For what happened. I…honestly don't know what the hell I was thinking at the time."
My heart clenches a little at his abrupt confession, "It's alight, Eiji. Things just happen, that's the way life is. We hurt people, and they hurt us sometimes. It's natural."
"Still, that's no reason to excuse what I did," Eiji says, gripping at his coffee. "I didn't know what I wanted, and I got scared since we had been together for a year. In my mind, I felt like I was going to be trapped in this mundane lifestyle that literally scared the hell out of me."
"Eiji..." his name trails my tongue. I want to interrupt him and tell him he doesn't have to apologize, but I know deep down inside of me, this is what I wanted for the longest time.
A simple apology.
"I was stupid to think that just being with someone else for a change would be what I wanted," he continues, harboring an intense solemnity in the wrinkles caused by his furrowing brows. "I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm really sorry. I was an idiot and now I know what I really want."
"Which is?" I tempt the question.
There's a beat in the air, "I want to be with you again, Sho."
Oh.
The simple apology has now turned into an offer of second chances. I ask myself, does he deserve it? Possibly not, but that isn't the sole reason why I can't grant his wish. I'm still with my own thoughts until I see Eiji turn a chin towards the windowpane, squinting at something outside in the misty gray.
"What kind of idiot would run out in the rain like this," I hear him mumble to himself, but I catch it perfectly.
I tend my own sights out into the relentless rain, eyes growing fuller. I witness a figure wearing green spandex and a flak jacket appearing desperate and disoriented in the heavy downpour. I come to the awakening realization: He's looking for me.
"I'm sorry, Eiji. I have to go. Thank you for the coffee," I stand up and bow my head politely, motioning myself to leave.
My ex-boyfriend also stands, peaked as to why I'm in such a rush, "Wait, Sho. Where are you going?"
"I have to catch my idiot," I smile. "Before I lose him."
I don't give myself a chance to receive a reaction from my ex. I rush to exit the shop and wince at the wind and rain suddenly whipping at my skin, even with the veranda overhead. I squint to capture my roommate's silhouette in the distance. I attempt to call his name and grab his attention but to no avail, the weather is dominating everything I say. I exhale and pick up my feet, entering the onslaught of icy rain. I have no time to shiver if I ever hope to catch up to my roommate. I press my forearm above my eyes and try to secure any relief I can from the rain.
My roommate's silhouette is vanishing at a quicker pace than I can manage. The thought of losing sight of him urges me into a desperate sprint. Closing in on his form, I throw my voice as far as I can through the rain.
"Lee-san!" I cry out the last of his name, slipping on my toes and sliding onto the rough terrain. I cough as a splash of rainwater rushes into my mouth.
"Yamada-san!" I hear my name spoken in earnestness. Looking up, I can see my roommate hastily making his way over.
"Please, Lee-san. Don't help me. I need to do this on my own," I state resolutely once he's a foot away. I push myself off the ground, shakily placing myself onto my feet. My summer dress is a muddy mess, and my knees and hands are no better. I lift my flushed face, allowing the rain to glide down my rosy cheeks and drip from my chin, "Now I have something to tell you."
My roommate's chest is rising and sinking, and he's panting to catch his labored breath and much of his thoughts, "Yamada-san, you do not have to say anything. It is me who should—!"
"No, Lee-san." I interrupt him, balling my clammy hands. "Day after day, I never said what I wanted to say, because I was so afraid of all the possibilities that could happen with each and every word spoken. Not knowing what could happen was so terrifying, and just expecting the worse was so much easier to deal with. That way, it was an excuse not to say a word, not to make up my mind, not to do anything. "
With a grimy hand, I push away the drops of rain settling at the corners of my mouth. "That's why, I need to be the one to tell you."
I take a step forward; straighten my shoulders and stare unfalteringly at my roommate's large and receiving eyes.
"I'm in love with you, Lee-san."
My heart is pounding louder than the storm itself. All that I'm able to do is continue to stare at Lee, who in turn is gazing down at me with astonishment. My chest swells uncontrollably as he steps closer, takes my soaked cheeks in his bandaged palms and leans to brush his wet nose against mine.
"My turn," he breathes out, taking my lips wholly in his and applying such an incredible pressure, it takes and gives all at once.
I want to pursue it further and lift to stand on my toes. I whimper at a grasping pain taking hold of my right ankle.
"What is wrong?" Lee asks with concern as he separates from me. "Are you hurt?"
"Mm. I think so," I say with a small voice. "I must've twisted my ankle when I fell."
Before anything else can be said, I'm swept off my feet in one swift motion. A fleeting gasp dissipates inside me. I'm held like a bride being carried away from her wedding. I tilt my violet hues upwards, capturing a silent resolve sewn into my roommate's features. My cheeks stain pink and I condense my face into his damp jacket. He begins to walk briskly in the direction of our apartment and I close my eyes, resting in his arms.
We enter the apartment, completely drenched and weighted down by our soggy clothes. Still in my roommate's arms, he carefully treks across the apartment and enters the bathroom, placing me effortlessly on the sink countertop.
"Wait here," Lee says, and I comply. Not like I would want to move anyway, the distance from where I'm sitting and the tile is a long way down for someone of my stature. I wouldn't attempt to scale it, especially with the addition of a bothersome ankle.
My roommate returns with a clean towel, bandages, and a soothing topical. I watch with hushed excitement as he begins to carefully wipe the dirt and wetness from my lower leg. He applies the cream at the sight of swelling and bandages my ankle appropriately, smiling up at me as he finishes, "Does that feel better?"
"Much," I smile shyly back.
There's a pause between us, harboring a discreet embarrassment as we simultaneously recollect the past event in the rain. I watch Lee fumble with the bandage roll in his hands, clumsily dropping it. He quickly picks it back up and sets it off to the side, taking up the towel again, "W-would you mind if I continued to dry you?" he asks me hesitantly.
"No," I shake my head lightly. "I wouldn't mind."
He nods firmly, with a distinct gulp and a 'yosh' to follow right after it. He presses the towel against both my arms, using gentle rubbing motions, not wanting to irritate my skin. He provides the same softness to my exposed neck, and follows up with the leg he neglected before hand. From my shin, he traces the towel to the back of my calf and tempts the obscure parts of my thigh hidden past my dress. My breath hitches inside my throat.
"Should I not?" he inquires sheepishly.
I'm speechless for a moment. Being timid won't get me dry anytime soon…without a word; I'm dauntless enough to peel off my dress over my head and toss it carelessly to the side. Now that I'm solely in my undergarments, it takes the last of my courage to not turn away from my roommate's taken expression.
"It would've been counter-productive if I kept my dress on," I say faintly, taming my embarrassment.
Lee remains unable to iterate the simplest of sounds. My unexpected boldness has consumed his ability to form a coherent sentence. Part of me believes he hasn't said a word, on the account that maybe in his mind, if he were to speak, I would somehow run away from sheer fright. To wake him from his dazed stupor, I clear my throat, and he practically drops the towel in his hands.
"Sorry, I did not mean to stare," he apologizes feebly, although it's not necessary, since I'm not expecting him to look anywhere else but me.
I watch him press his lips into a firm line, gathering his wits and focus to continue drying me. In the concentrated furrowing of his thick brows, I'm mindful he's possibly comparing this to a training exercise, as predictable of him. However, his motions now carry a rigid clumsiness, as if his concentration was ironically hindering him. It's humorous how I've suddenly made him apprehensive, when he's usually confident in practically everything else he does.
The towel pauses at my stomach, and Lee turns his head to the side and releases a loud sneeze, causing me to jump in surprise. "Jeez, you scared me," I exclaim, unable to hold myself from laughing. "I think I should dry you now, before you catch cold."
"Are you sure that you are dry enough?" he sniffles, rubbing his nose, and trying to tend his sights elsewhere but directly at my chest.
"Mhm, drier than you at least," I reply, taking the towel from him and placing it on my lap. My fingers stretch to take the zipper of his shinobi vest, "Do you mind?"
"N-not at all!" he sates exuberantly, doing all that he can to mask the fragment of shyness in his voice.
I pull the zipper, and the sound it makes as it travels down springs a pink color to my face. I can't lie and say that I'm not nervous about my own actions, but there's an understanding within me, where my inhibitions are bowing down to my wants—a first time in a long while.
I push the jacket off his broad shoulders, allowing it to hit the floor. My roommate helps me loosen his spandex suit sticking stubbornly to his upper body, tugging it down to his pelvis. Before I know it, I'm graced with the well-defined physique of a shinobi man. Without humility, my eyes practically devour his image damp with residue, leaving nothing to the imagination. I catch myself particularly captivated by his prominent collarbone, and admittedly, his arms and exceptional V-cut ever so present on his figure. At a mere glance,I wouldn't have been able to fathom what could have been hidden underneath all that spandex. I thank my lucky stars, especially the fortune of being born a female, for this opportunity.
God, it's me, Sho. I begin to pray inwardly. I know I'm not an avid believer, but if you can hear me, then please help me. I'm in desperate need. Whenever that time comes, which actually might be soon, bless me with the capacity to accept his body onto mine. I promise to start working out and eat less dairy right after.
Please and thank you.
"Yamada-san?" I hear my name said through chattering teeth, and another sneeze.
"Oh gosh! I'm so sorry," I cry guiltily, snapping out of my trance. Picking up the towel, I rub vigorously at his chest and arms. Poor thing has goosebumps, "I got a little distracted."
He chuckles at my flustered voice and movements; "What had you so lost in your thoughts?"
"No one—I mean," I bite my bottom lip and shake my head in denial. Lee proceeds to flash an entertained grin at me, quirking an eyebrow with a matching hilarity. I puff my cheeks at his silent way of poking fun at me. "I meant nothing," I exclaim mutely, throwing the towel over his head and drying his damp hair. "I wasn't thinking of anything."
"You have a bad habit of lying, Yamada-san," Lee states rather candidly, peering through a towel fold. I blush when I make eye contact, and lower my chin in shame. A grin is evident against his mouth, "A-ha! I was right. You were thinking of something, but you just do not want to tell me."
"It's not that I don't want to tell you…" I mumble, veering off with my train of thought. Ideally, I do want to tell him exactly what I'm thinking. Yet, it comes down to the how. In the end, I have to use my words, as best as I can.
"I guess, I'm just wondering," I hesitate, feeling my legs starting to squirm underneath me. "If there's a better way to say… 'I want you'?"
There's a pause, and a skip of my own heartbeat. I'm gradually outdoing myself at an alarming pace. I swallow my burning saliva, witnessing my roommate slip the towel from his head and onto the floor. He rests his palms at either side of my exposed thighs, leaning close and stealing my attention, with no possible escape.
"I might actually have the answer to that. It is very simple, too." His mouth creases in a curious way, sending tingles in violent waves throughout every fiber of my being. "It is called doing, rather than saying."
"Doing rather than…" I attempt to repeat his answer, but I swallow hard instead.
Oh jeez….the very soon I had mentioned before is becoming right now. How will I ever manage? Am I even ready for that? I mean; I've technically been anticipating the idea for a while. But on a more practical level, I'm just wondering if my feminine areas are cleared and ready to go. I remember I shaved about two days ago, giving me a few more days before I'm forced to repeat the grueling process.
O-Okay. I should be fine.
"Uh-oh, I think I lost Yamada-san again," Lee muses to himself, poking my nose like a button.
"S-Sorry," I apologize, rubbing my nose. "I was just—"
I'm interrupted by my roommate wagging a long finger at me, "What did I just say before?" he asks rhetorically with a 'tsk-tsk' in his voice. "From what I remember, you have to start doing rather than saying."
"Mhm," I mumble. Secretly sadistic jerk, I think sourly. Worst of all, he probably doesn't even know it. Like I'll let him boss me around; I'm the one who made the first move technically. If he thinks I can be persuaded to give in under this slight force, he has another thing coming. I won't be beat into submission so easily.
"Alright, Lee-san. I'll take your advice," I state frankly with an up-turn of my nose. "I'll start by asking you to close your eyes." My roommate humors me and does as he's told. "Hm, I don't think I trust you," I scrutinize playfully, crossing my arms. "I want to see you cover your eyes with one hand, and no gaps."
"Of course," he submits with a chuckle, placing a hand over both of his eyes. "Anything else, princess?"
"That'll be all, my loyal subject. Now stay like that until I tell you otherwise."
He nods in confirmation to my command and I grin, completely drunk off of this trivial power that I presently have over him. I allow a moment for silence, with only the breathing and shifting of our bodies to fill the empty air. It's a tactic to build up anticipation, which is fumbling in my own chest. I stare hard at his mouth, aching to commit to them. Leaning forward, I dig my nails into the sink countertop to keep balance.
With such agonizing slowness, I brush my lips lightly over his. The touch is so insignificant; I can feel the weight of his breath more than anything. I hear a tremble in my roommate's breathing, signaling me to press into him. I acknowledge it on a whim, condensing my lips into his. Our mouths move languidly against each other's, with a perceptible curiosity and nurtured carefulness to explore. It's less frantic and desperate compared to the brief kiss we shared in the rain. It feels like there is so much time in the world, as if we could continue doing this as long as it took, no matter if we never discovered anything more of each other. We are creating a mystery that may never be solved, and with that, it compels us to press and nip carefully at one another.
During the swelling of our lips and murmurous sounds in our throats, a cold hand takes a firm hold of my upper leg, trailing to squeeze the inner part of my thigh.
"I don't think I gave you permission to touch me yet," I utter teasingly through breaks in our kisses. I giggle devilishly as I completely separate from him and watch him search blindly for my lips.
"I do not think I like this ruling of yours," he says jokingly, uncovering his eyes. "I apologize in advance, your highness, but it looks like I will have to overthrow you."
"Now wait just a minute," I squeal in surprise before I can finish. I'm laughing senselessly as I'm hoisted up and effortlessly tossed over my roommate's wide shoulder. We exit the bathroom and I beat my fists weightlessly upon his bare back, "Scoundrel! Put me down at once," I cry through my laughs. "If you don't unhand me, you'll be sorry."
"If that is what you wish, my fair lady," I practically hear him grin upon entering his room.
I gasp when my back meets the cool linen of his comforters. I lay between the pinning of my roommate's hands at either side of my head, his form hovering over mine. Something quivers inside me, finding the silly smile possessed by the man above me simmering into nothing but a serious line. Yet, this change in expression isn't unsettling; there's a focused captivation sinking into him that assures me.
I observe his rounded black eyes float over my features, and to hide my fluster, I tune in with the rhythmic arrangement of my rising and sinking chest. During his private roaming, a bead of water drips from his glistening black hair onto the corner of my mouth. I remain absolutely still as he lifts a hand and glides a tender thumb over the drop, spreading it across my parted lips. The same thumb brushes across my flushed cheek, until his hand falls into the tangled mess of my hair, taking up a wet strand.
"I did not get the chance to say it before but…" my hair wrapped around his finger is brought to his lips. "I am in love with you too," he whispers intimately against my brown locks. "Sho."
At the sound of his confession coupled with my first name, there's little I can do to contain my emotions unraveling across my features. The pallor of my cheeks bruise considerably, and tears of liberation gloss over my eyes. I'm incredibly happy, since I wouldn't have minded if he never said it. Even if tomorrow came and everything went back to the way it was, I would be content. Waking up knowing I had confessed my feelings honestly, and for him to just have heard my words would have been enough for me.
Thank God.
I attempt to cover the humiliating sight of my face with my hands, but my roommate takes them with a single palm, pressing them lightly against his mouth.
"Please, do not hide anything from me," he says, planting feathery kisses upon my wrists. "I want to see all of you."
Oh no. He's doing it again; transitioning from a loveable goof into a man capable of compelling the most feminine parts of me. So strongly, I can hardly think straight, urging me to submerge myself completely in his masculinity.
"Then look at me," I invite faintly, "…all of me."
Lee draws his eyes into my own, confirming the legitimacy of my invitation. I give a tiny nod, and he imitates my movement in acknowledgment. Inhaling, I arch my back, allowing him to unhook my bra and slide the straps off my small shoulders, down my arms until it's removed. My exposed breasts perk with goosebumps under his gaze, springing an ache to their newfound stiffness. I turn my head involuntarily out of embarrassment, wincing shyly when his hand guides my face back in his direction.
"They are lovely," he whispers and kisses my mouth with a fond reassurance.
Releasing my lips, he pushes back against his palms to sit on his heels, presenting him a fuller view of my coverage. My roommate's attention wanders below my navel, where the last of my undergarments remain a hindrance to his viewing. His specialized hands tug the petty material down my thighs, coaxing my legs to shift and help him remove my underwear. Once my panties are carelessly tossed away, my roommate delves back into the sensual study of my revelation.
"You are so beautiful, and here on my bed like this, really I…" Lee presses a palm against his suddenly warmed forehead, his nervousness gradually revealing itself. "I have honestly forgotten what to do next."
And so my loveable goof returns.
"Maybe you could take off the rest of your suit," I prompt with an encouraging smile. "I could use the company, since I'm the only one completely naked here."
"You are right!" My roommate pounds a fist into his open palm, as if my idea is remarkably ground breaking, an achievement among ideas! Which it isn't; but the enthusiasm is appreciated. "Give me one moment," he says, quickly retreating from the bed to stand.
I prop myself on my elbows, wanting to watch the scene of him undressing play out. His thumb catches the bundled green material at his pelvis, working with a considerable amount of force to peel it down. I didn't think about it happening before hand, but it does; his briefs join the spandex down to his ankles. I don't realize I make some sort of surprised sound when I catch the entirety of him. What's more surprising, he must have not realized I was watching. As he comes to notice my gawking, a foot that was about to step out snags awkwardly inside one of the pant holes. All balance abandons him as he flails helplessly to regain it, which only accounts to his back meeting the sliding door of his closet.
The closet door doesn't fair well to support him, slipping out of its moving hinges and practically falling over. Luckily, my roommate manages to find his poise and catch the door before it collapses entirely.
I choke down my desperate need to laugh, while my lips tremble at the over-whelming sensation to be utterly inappropriate; "Do you need any help?"
"I need to think about plans to re-do my closet later tomorrow," Lee says privately and flustered, unable to hear anything of what I said.
His little comment, along with him being ridiculously naked while trying to place the door back on its hinges, makes me fall back onto the bed laughing. O-Oh Lord—I just can't. Talk about the biggest icebreaker ever known in the history of escalating steps to intercourse. I'm giggling so much, I have to curl up into a ball and hide my burning face in my knees. I barely hear the closet door successfully click in place and my roommate make his way towards the bed.
"And may I ask exactly what you are laughing at?" Lee questions with rearing amusement.
"No one—I mean nothing," I cry between my laughs, which worsen when I feel my roommate climb onto the bed and shift near me. I shake my head vigorously when his hands touch my wrists, wanting to unravel me out of my comfort ball. "Oh, please, no! I meant nothing!"
Tears produced by my hilarious fit stain the corner of my eyes. I wiggle my hands around and try to bury them closer to my chest so that my partner isn't able to take them. When he is able to catch one, I slip it right out of his loose hold, dangerously attempting to tickle his unprotected underarm. He spits out a laugh and recoils, causing me to gasp in my new discovery.
"You're ticklish," I whisper, mouth agape in astonishment.
"That was just your imagination," he replies sheepishly after recovering. "One of my many genjutsu's, I will have you know."
"You can't use genjutsu, or ninjutsu for that matter," I reply with a giggle. "You even told me so, very proudly in fact. Do I need to remind you?"
"Well, that time was…also another one of my genjutsu's!" Lee exclaims dramatically, pantomiming something otherworldly with his hands. "You only thought I told you, when in fact, it was just an illusion of me telling you. I understand; you are confused. Genjutsu is very confusing in itself, I cannot blame you for having your delusions."
"Maybe you're right. I probably was just imaging things. Oh well," I shrug my shoulders as an act of giving up. My roommate lowers his guard and I immediately snatch the opportunity to tickle him again, which he reacts perfectly to. I shoot him a smug look, "Mm-hm. That's what I thought, Mr. Genjutsu Master."
"This is just another illusion!" he laughs as I lavish him with my subtle attacks.
"I have found your greatest weakness," I grin widely. "I have taken your precious taijutsu and formed the deadliest technique of all, just to use against you."
He stresses a gasp, "Oh no, how will I possibly survive your ultimate attack?"
I giggle at his exaggerated act and he snickers along, taking my willing hands into his. Our chuckles subside and leave us with nothing but the connection of our gaze. It pulls me back into the reality of the situation. I'm reminded of our bareness, the undertone in our breaths, and the ever so present ache buried deep inside me. The dark mysteries of my femininity must be unraveling in the sultriness of my stare. I know, because it beckons my roommate physically. He comes nearer, until our tangled hands wedge between our chests. The cramped distance urges our mouths to possess each other, more than eager to take advantage of the tight space.
It's incredible how the savory motions of our condensing lips inspire a beautiful pain between my thighs. The repetitive gesture rouses a rising fever in our movements, and our hands twist free to seize whatever else they crave to touch.
My hands move up to his face and into his hair; seeping like black water in the gaps of my fingers. I moan mutely, sensing his touch upon my every inch of my skin, massaging it with gentle circular movements. My persistent and muffled moans inside his mouth encourage his touch, further pressing against my lips until I'm pressured to lie on my back. The sensation of his rough fingers and warm tongue working simultaneously is thigh clenching.
I feel trapped; held down by threads sensually tied to each bedpost. My awareness is slipping, and I have to tighten my hold on his hair, needing something tangible to keep me present. By the time my partner is satisfied with his efforts, I'm lacking in steady breaths and clear vision.
My violet eyes are glossed with a thick coating of pleasant numbness. I can barely discern my company leaning over me to take something from his nightstand drawer. I'm subtly able to distinguish an audible rip, unsheathing, and stretching of a thin material against raw skin. The event materializes entirely when my roommate eases between my legs, which have started to shake with anticipation.
"Do you still want to continue?" he asks softly, taking a moment to caress my tinted cheek. "I know that I want to, very much so—more than anything, actually. But I need to know if you do too. If you have even the slightest doubt, tell me. I will not be offended in the least bit."
"I want to, I really do," I manage to say, cupping my hand over his. "Especially with you."
"Then I will do my best," he answers with a heart-warming smile, pressing his forehead against mine. The affectionate gesture melts every inch of me. His hand retreats from my cheek and both hands place themselves against the inner parts of my thighs, "Just a little wider for me," he whispers, hardly needing to coax them to obey.
I'm slightly flushed, baring the last of my secrets in front of him. I watch with an ache twisting inside my stomach as he positions himself appropriately, leaning forward to support himself with his hands at either side of my head.
We share our last wordless consent, and on a sustaining inhale, a pinch interrupts the tingling moistness below. The feeling of being stretched and packed to no extent makes me choke out a cry. It feels much tauter than I had expected. The sensation lingers even after his wholeness fills me to the brim. Being this crowded is unfamiliar and I need a moment to adjust physically and mentally.
"Are you alright?" my company asks, voice tight. I merely nod at his concern, and he breathes in deeply, "I am going to move now."
On cue to his words, he eases back with an incredible slowness before pushing forward. In and out…in and out. Although the rhythm is spaced and deliberate, my breathing is anything but coordinated. The moisture accumulating begins to drip and stick to the inner parts of my thighs. The revisited sensation drives my heart rate to an irregular beat. My fingers etch into the sheets underneath me, already wanting to take so much more. My arousing cries somehow translate into a secret command, one that my partner seems to be able to understand.
My sensual language brings him to his elbows. His weight pinning against me is enticing, since my body is fully aware of what's about to ensue. He begins to press more eagerly against me, gaining a gradual pace. My erotic sounds motivate my partner to quicken his thrusts, until his meritable efforts are audible in the slapping of our thighs, and creaking of his furniture.
"So…rough," I pant mindlessly.
I feel his puffs of mangled breath against my nose, his gaze fixated on me, taking in my sensual expressions changing in front of him. My cheeks burn at the intensity, and I want to somehow hide but I'm unable to pull away. His large hands entangle themselves in my hair and he kisses me hard, a desperate request that ushers my mouth to open. My fingers involuntarily grasp the back of his damp and bared neck, pressing him closer to me in every way I can.
I can't think about anything significant in this world, except how warm he is, and how I want to indulge in his enveloping body heat.
As of now, every movement is pulling at me, dragging me closer to the inevitable end. I'm losing myself with every teasing thrust of his tongue and each adoring, wet, caress from below.
He has somehow mastered every inch of me, causing my entire body to weep just for him. I moan exceptionally loud into his mouth, before breaking away and gasping between my mewling cries; "I-I can't anymore, Lee-san."
"Not yet," he pants, a sheen of glistening sweat appearing over his dewy skin. "You must say my name…without honorifics."
I'm unable to respond, losing all sensible words and contemplation as his arms wrap around my back and swing me upright onto his lap. My legs and arms instinctually wrap around him, grasping onto what insignificant reality there is left for me. This new position makes me feel so unbelievably packed; I don't want to move, for I'll surely reduce to puddles. However, my quivering form doesn't seem to satiate my roommate and his unspoken plan for me. Both of his hands take to my bottom, digging his coarse fingers into the round flesh. My breath catches in my throat as his hands coax my bottom to lift, until my womb feels utterly abandoned.
"Please, Sho," he whispers breathlessly, taking in the scent of my collarbone. "I need you to say my name. Or else I might not…"
"I'm too embarrassed though," I sob quietly, tightening my arms around his neck and burying my flushed face against his soft hair.
Even though it's an embarrassing request, it's in my noncommittal actions that I'm tortured, suspended from reconnecting with him. I'm writhing inside. The very idea of incompletion tares at my nerves, and so I compel myself to oblige him. I wet my parted lips, press them softly against his ear, and exhale:
"Lee."
In one instantaneous plunge I'm set down on his extension, filling me so suddenly again I cry out in shock. He pulls me back up and slams me down a second time. He takes me deeper than before, pressing hard against that illusive yet wonderful spot inside of me. It's in this second wave of vicious ecstasy that I'm incapable of pulling back from. My thoughts scatter as a gush of arousal spills through me, drowning my veins, and taking me past my farthest points. Ripples of this flooding sensation seep through me in every way, changing me, making me cry for salvation as I tear at the seams. My noises seem to touch my partner, as he buries his face in my shoulder and muffles his own splitting moans.
After surrendering to the mind-spinning release, I feel myself laid back onto the mattress, with my company collapsing at my side.
My chest continues to rise and fall unsteadily, trying to find its rested rhythm. I turn my head, pressing a warm cheek into the pillow to allow my gaze to fall upon my roommate. He's in no better condition than I am; eyes closed and eyebrows relaxed with exhaustion. Out of the entirety of living with him, never once had I truly seen him this tired, even after training or a mission. It's definitely attractive, partly since I'm the culprit for his need to catch his taken breath.
And just like that, I had the longest and most intense workout I had ever willingly participated in.
Amid the darkness of the apartment, I cast my sight outside the living room window. I watch in quiet amazement at the rain beating rhythmically against the windowpane, and the neighborhood trees bowing and whistling with the wind. It creates a tapestry of imagery and sound, and for a short while, I'm in a space absent of most contemplation. I'm only taken from my curious wonder when my company takes a spot next to me on the floor in front of the windowsill.
"Sho."
I blush at the sound of my first name escaping his lips once again. Temporarily, the hands cradling my legs against my chest squeeze with a perceptible embarrassment before releasing and reaching to take what is motioned towards me. I stare down at the fruit salad within the bowl, chopped with care into bite-sized pieces just for me. I burn at the simple added effort, "thank you very much."
"You are very welcome," his smile graces me with a radiant warmth.
I can barely concentrate and I accidentally chew on a strand of hair along with a piece of strawberry. I sputter and unattractively spit out the loose string. I can't even groan out of awkwardness before my company chuckles at my display.
"Allow me to help you," he speaks gingerly, placing down his own bowl and turning me so that my back faces him.
The skin behind my neck shivers as his long fingers weave through my loose hair, taking hold of my strands and carefully threading it. My heart squeezes inside my chest with every motion of his hands working so methodically. When he finishes, I bring a hand to tentatively feel his work.
"It probably does not look as good as it feels," he begins sheepishly, coming to scratch the back of his neck when I turn to face him.
"I bet it looks amazing," I lean forward with an impressionable appreciation at this new discovery. "I just never thought you knew how to braid hair, Lee. When did you learn how to do it?"
"Oh, I used to have long hair back during my primary school days," he comes to smile with embarrassment. "I used to braid it myself everyday. That was such a long time ago; I am actually shocked that I still remember how to do it."
"I want to see you with long braided hair," I muse, my eyes gleaming with curiosity and fondness. The cute image in my mind can't be any different from reality. "Do you have any pictures?"
"I may have a few somewhere in my closet," Lee blinks his circular eyes at my heightened interest. Momentarily, his chin shifts away, as if mustering some sort of courage. With but a faint blush, he nods definitively in my direction, "Alright, I will go look."
I watch as he lifts himself up and treads into the apartment hallway. I hear him rummage around in his room for a few minutes before he resurfaces. As he takes his seat beside me, he opens the lid of a small cardboard box. Inside, are various photographs in no chronological sequence.
"Here is one," he mentions while plucking out a polaroid. He waves it a bit to rid the specks of dust, gradually shifting closer for me to peek.
"So cute," I sing as I take it and bring it closer for inspection. I can't help but involuntarily rummage for more photos, bringing out a few more and sweeping my attention over them. "This one too, and this one." I switch to another photograph, coming to witness a picture of group photo of Tenten, Neji, Gai-sensei, and himself. "You all were just adorable; it must be hard for Gai-san seeing you all continue to grow up. I'm sure if he could go back and instruct you three all over again, he would."
Lee chuckles at my comment, "He has cried about it more times than I can count."
A pause interrupts my thoughts, and when I think about time within the space of all things, I take a few questions into consideration. Lowering the pictures from my sight and placing them back into the box in my roommate's possession, my violet eyes beat against his own.
"Lee, why did you choose me to be your roommate?"
"Ah," he seems speechless at my forthright question. He draws a look of concentration, and pinches his chin as if sifting through all the plausible reasons he had at the time. He exhales once he settles with an appropriate response; "I believe an honest question deserves an honest answer." He favors me with a half-hearted smile, "As I am sure you noticed when we first started rooming together, I had not the slightest clue how to act around women. When I chose you to be my roommate, I was convinced that you could teach me how to be better. I had spent my entire life training; there was little else I could give my time to learn. I just assumed that if I showered someone with gifts and kind words, it would be enough." Lee pauses, shifting a speculative glance to take in my reaction thus far. I respond with a nod, encouraging him to continue with his sincere tale. With a palpable sigh, he continues; "I did not realize that taking the time to understand them and appreciate them for whom they were was what was right. That was my mistake from the very beginning; I was impatient and too idealistic, to the point where…I ended up hurting someone I cared deeply for."
"I hope my answer does not upset you," Lee mentions while harboring a concerned look about him. "I only wanted to be as truthful as I could be. I would never want to keep anything important from you."
"No, I appreciate it," I smile with reassurance. "I was the same way too, in my first relationship. It was probably over way before it ended, but I was so stubborn. I kept pushing unrealistic expectations and thought I could just turn a blind eye to all the signs. I essentially forced us to continue our relationship; it wasn't fair for the both of us," a feeble chuckle escapes me at the faintest recollection of my past behavior. "So in that sense, we're not so different. But I think we learned our lesson, which is all apart of life, isn't it?"
"You are definitely right. It has been a lesson I will never forget," he agrees, and gazes down at me with a prominent glint in his onyx ovals. "I learned that and something much more."
I tilt my head to the side and bring an inquisitive finger to my lips, "Hm? What else would that be?"
"That I love you, Sho." Lee grins brightly. It reminds me so much of the sun, it almost hurts to indulge in it for so long. "I love everything about you, from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. And even when I trip over your cute bras that you leave on the bathroom floor; it is like an obstacle course gym without the monthly membership fees!" He comes to laugh at my flustered expression, bringing a large palm to deflect the playful punch aimed at his chest. My fist enclosed by his warm hand springs a tint to my cheeks, "You always seem to know how to surprise me. Even more so than any konoichi I have ever met."
"Then if that's the case—!" my fluster causes my free hand to capture the spandex material at his shoulder, and push against him. My unexpected forcefulness urges his back to meet the floor, and I pay no mind the bowls and box of photos I almost knock over. My cheeks simmer with pink as I hover over his taken form, "P-Please date me. I may not be the best cook, but I have a lot of faith in my baking. That and I know how to make really good snacks apparently. Also, I know I have a bit of fat on me, but it's like squishy jello that you can grab when you're stressed. Plus, I have small hands that can easily find missing keys in the couch or other hard to reach places."
"Could you repeat what you just said," Lee captures me with a widened stare sewn with disbelief.
"Oh, um…" I try recollecting the specifics of my spastic monologue. "I'm really good at making snacks?"
"Before that."
"Please date me?"
I blink at the unraveling of pink reaching his cheeks. I watch as he brings his knuckles to hide the embarrassed quiver of his lips. "No one has ever asked me that," I hear his voice break over the surprise of it all. "Besides that, you seemed to have beat me to it, among everything else today."
Before I can make an utterance, the hand covering his mouth reaches to glide against my cheek.
"A-ah…it hurts."
"Just a little longer."
"I-I can't, it's too much. Please, not that far."
"You can do this. Keep bending, just like that."
"No, I really can't. It's too much of a stretch—ah!"
"You're such a baby, Sho," my best friend states, pinching her lips to the side. "I'm barely putting any weight on you, and you're already in tears."
"Obviously. I'm not as flexible as you, Haruka," I whine. "You've been doing yoga for months, I just started right now."
"Pfft. So what? That has nothing to do with putting in actual effort," she chastises with a shake of her head. "Look at you, your hands are barely past your knees."
"Your expectations are insane," I groan, inching my fingertips to my toes. I hardly get past my shins. "Ow—were you this bad when you first started?"
"Oh, hell no," she laughs, pointing a jeering finger at my struggling form. "You, my friend, are stiffer than a plank."
"It's not my fault," I puff at her playful mocking. "I'm really sore right now. Everything hurts, practically."
"Sore? Why would you be sore? Since when did you ever start doing anything physical?"
Haruka rears the question at me and I regret opening my mouth. I gulp down the embarrassing excuse, and lower my head, forcing myself to stretch despite the pain, "I've been jogging recently!" I cry; feeling drops of sweat collecting against my forehead. "A-and I've been doing circuits up and down the complex stairs. Really works those buns out, you know?"
"Uh-huh," she squeezes the words speculatively. I feel her weight shift away from my back, as she leans to my side and grabs my face in her hands. I whimper as she massages my cheeks and squints to examine my features closely. Her dark eyes snap open, "Holy shit, Sho!" she yelps, pressing her hands further against my cheeks. "You finally had sex and didn't even tell me? Pssh, best friend my ass."
I moan in discomfort, feeling my complexion reddening; "Jeez. How can you tell just by looking at my face?"
"I have one hell of a gift, that's how," she states, laying her hands on my shoulders. "But seriously, I know because your skin looks as if it had the best time at the sauna. Plus, you called me early to do yoga, which you never do, because you and me both know you're not that much of a morning person." She goes on to add: "Oh, and let me not forget how 'sore' you are from doing absolutely nothing, because I know your definition of working out, and that's taking that fat ass on a nice slow walk to the kitchen."
"You make me sound like such a slump," I frown, sighing. "It's not that big of a deal."
"So, who did you fuck?"
I gasp at her statement, "Could you seriously be any more forward, Haruka?"
"Well, I'm so glad you asked," she smirks, clearing her throat and opening her large mouth. "So who's pocket rocket did you allow to enter your milky way? Where is the man who released his trouser snake into your pink garden? I demand to know the identity of the gentlemen who gladly placed his meat popsicle inside your picnic basket!"
"Stop!" I shriek, placing my hands over her blabbering mouth. "I'll tell you, just stop screaming inappropriate things inside my apartment."
My best friend nods her head in compliance, and I reluctantly release her mouth, "Okay, it was..." I shift nervously, drawing out the smallest voice I've ever spoken with. "It was my roommate."
"Get the hell out," Haruka says, raising her voice and shaking her hands in the air excitedly. "I knew it! Oh god, I was so worried there for a while. I seriously thought you'd break out the chastity belt soon and check into a nunnery or—" my friend momentarily reigns her rant, until she gasps, shaking my shoulders, "How many times?"
"How many times what?" I groan, bowing my head and hiding my warming face inside my hands.
"Shut up, you know what I'm talking about. How many times did you two do it last night?"
"I'm not telling you that," I weep into my hands, shaking my head.
"Damn it, Sho," she curses at me through clenched teeth, shaking me even harder. "You open your legs like a whore on Christmas for your roommate but now you're too shy to give me a number? Tell me!"
My best friend has a terrible point. I release my last whimper before bringing out one hand and lifting a few fingers for her to count.
"Three times in a row!" Haruka squeals giddily, bringing me into a suffocating hug between her breasts. "Oh! You little slut; I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. We need to get some drinks tonight to celebrate the end of your celibacy."
"S-Sure," I choke, briefly returning the hug. "I really need some water now. Could you help me up?"
"Wow, that bad?" She stands and takes my hand, pulling me onto feet.
"Mhm," I groan, walking with a visible tenseness from my living room into the kitchen. "I think the yoga helped though."
"The stretching really does help doesn't it?" My friend muses, "Since you're getting water, I'm going to use the bathroom."
"Go right ahead," I respond, watching her disappear into the hallway.
I pour myself a glass of water and lean against the kitchen counter, enjoying the refresher after an hour of attempted yoga. I am so out of shape, I think to myself. Before I can dwell on the thought or my drink, the apartment door opens. I almost spit at the suddenness of my roommate entering, making his way over to me with a bounce in his step.
"Sho!" Lee says my name excitedly, "I am so glad you are home."
"Well, it is Saturday after all," I comment, setting aside the glass of water on the counter. "But I know you still have training on the weekends. How was it by the way? Did you finish early?"
"Not only did I finish early, I went out and bought something," he says, grinning. I blink wildly as he presents a bag that I hadn't noticed before hand. I'm about to take it until he shifts it behind his back; "But! Before I show you, I wanted to share my idea with you."
"Idea?" I repeat curiously with a tilt of my head. "What is it?"
"I want to go on a proper date with you," he announces, furrowing his large eyebrows with resolve. "Not only that, but I would also like to pretend as if we just met each other. Think of it as the theme."
"You mean like role-playing?" I ask with an air of amusement, and he nods sternly, which makes me giggle. "Okay, I could do that. When should we go on our themed date?"
"I was hoping we could go right now," he states, and I think I see him spring a little on his feet. "We will go into town and enter a random store. There, we will do our own thing and pretend we have never seen each other before. Then, I will approach you and say, 'you are the prettiest woman I have ever seen, please go on a date with me'. And you will reply, 'you are the most handsome man I have ever seen, I would love to!'"
"Looks like you've got a script and everything," I smile, but it puckers as I recall my best friend still in the bathroom, and her offer for the evening. "You know, Lee—"
"And after our splendid date of getting to know one another, we come home to the best part," he cuts me off in his excitement, bringing around the bag behind him. He fishes through it and takes out a book. "We will have a night of many choices," with a slight tint to his cheeks, he thrusts the book cover to my eye-level, and proclaims loudly, "365 Sex Positions!"
Oh, boy.
My body will never make it to the end of the year, especially if intercourse three times in a row almost every night becomes routine. How am I ever going to keep up with him? My knees shake at the thought, and I have to lean further against the counter for support. Before I can speak, my best friend enters the scene, barring a raised eyebrow.
"Oh-ho, I see where this is going," she smirks, striding towards the living room couch to pick up her purse.
"I did not realize Haruka-san was here," my roommate gulps, unable to rid himself of the fluster in his voice.
"I invited her over this morning," I whisper shyly. "That's what I was trying to tell you."
"Oh, you guys don't have to worry about me. I'm heading out now. We'll hit the bar another time, Sho. When you're not too busy," Haruka exclaims, making her way to the front door. "Oh, and by the way. Position 36 is like my favorite. You two will love it." With a wink she exits the apartment, stilling a pause.
Lee breaks the silence with a sigh, "That was rather embarrassing."
"I thought it was funny," I chuckle at his guilty expression.
"For you, of course," he eases in a smile, placing the book back into the bag and setting it on top of the kitchen table behind him. "What were you doing with Haruka-san today?"
"Oh, nothing special. Just doing some morning yoga since I'm…" my sentence quiets, and I blush, forcing myself to stare at my bare feet. The aches caused by last night's fiasco remain present not only in my thighs, but in my more feminine parts. I force myself to take another sip of water before continuing: "I'm clearly not as flexible as you, and I'm just going to leave it at that."
My company remains slightly lost to my insinuation before making a solid connection. Sheepishly, he scratches the bridge of his nose; "S-Sorry, I did not think I would be so demanding last night. I guess I was just caught up in the moment, but now that you have mentioned it…" his tone unexpectedly lowers, and his features turn suggestive as he takes me by the waist, and presses my body against his. "If you want to improve on your flexibility, practice is the only solution. Am I not correct, sensei?"
Okay, now I definitely know my body won't make it to next year.
"You might be right," I say faintly, staring back into his dark circles. He leans in to take my lips, but I quickly wiggle out of his hold, leaning once again against the kitchen counter. I can't help but grin mischievously, "Oh, but like you said, Lee. We're strangers starting right now, and I'm not the kind of girl to practice my flexibility with just anyone."
"Oh, I knew I should have waited to say it," he says, snapping his fingers at his self-imposed limitation.
"Well, be excited for the fact that I'm willing to spend the night with you on the first date," I add. "But since we'll be strangers, that's only if you can make me fall completely in love with you by the end of our date."
"Sounds like a worthy challenge," he grins, fixing and tightening the bandages around his arms. "I accept, and I promise you, I will win your heart. Not only will you be madly in love with me," he steps closer and bends down to whisper in my ear, "you will be lying on my bed by tonight."
I gasp at the remark, and just before I can slap him playfully on the arm he steps out of my reach.
"Y-You are so…" I wave my fist in the air, taunting him back into the hallway. "That's right, run away. Pervert!"
People come and people go. Relationships start and then they end. However, are ending always final? No, they are merely windows and doors—all simultaneously closing and opening. It's all a matter of individual choice, which ones you enter and leave. My father would tell me out of all the relationships you can create, the most loving and longest you can have is the relationship with yourself. It's a concept so simple, yet carries profoundness as deep as an ocean. Each and everyday we need to wake up loving ourselves, and the changes we can bring to our own lives. Then others will choose to be in your life, because it's yours and they want to be apart of it. It's safe to say that we should never force ourselves to accept and pursue people who don't want to be in ours. The concept of letting go is simultaneous the concept to receive; all gifts in life are not ones you fight to have, but ones you are open to receive with love.
And I know for a fact that all of us will have what we want, because we know our worth and we won't accept anything less than that. We deserve love, and not so much from anyone else…but from ourselves.
That, I believe, is when we finally start living.
FIN.