Chapter 58
Scarlett was now in Savannah. She was stepping on the soil of her Mother's home town after so many years and to her plesant surprise, the war hadn't wiped out everything. Some of the old architecture still stood proud and elegant. The city hadn't been burnt to the ground!
Once she settled into a good hotel, she took out the letter which her Aunt Pauline had written back to her and ran her finger down the list of names - probable acquaintences and friends of Ellen Robillard during her girlhood. She had already written to some of the people mentioned in the list and had received replies from a few of them. But Scarlett was particularly interested in visiting a Ms. Anne Musgrove who has been a school friend to Ellen.
As her carriage turned down the cobble-stone street, she leaned out the window and saw a small, pretty-ish house with a small pre-war cast iron balcony. A middle-aged lady sat on that balcony, wearing a wide brimmed sun hat and a maid standing behind her watering her potted plants that lined the balcony ledge. When Scarlett neared the gate, the woman followed the coach with her eyes and Scarlett knew that her observer was Ms. Musgrove. She wore a black taffeta gown just like the one her Mother used to wear and that same black chignon high up on her neck. Yes, there was a definite similarity. Perhaps, Ms. Musgrove might be able to provide the answers to Scarlett's questions.
"Ellen was my dearest friend" said Anne Musgrove as she sipped her tea and regarded Scarlett across the small parlour tea table. "Now, you are her eldest, aren't you? Scarlett O'Hara- that's a sweet name."
"My Mother had three little boys before me- Only incidentally, I became the eldest-" replied Scarlett, with a charming smile.
"That's right. You told me all this at first. I do need more time remembering these facts." Anne sighed lightly. "So much has happened after Ellen left the Savannah. She never wrote back, you know- She was too unhappy-"
"But Mother always thought well of her Aunts and Uncles-"
"Oh no- I meant the place, dear- after everything that happened-"
"Well-" said Scarlett, smiling shyly and then looked up, hoping that she looked earnest and pained enough for the lady to explain why her Mother felt it necessary to forget her hometown and surrender herself to Gerald O'Hara.
"Ellen was the most loving person, Scarlett. She looked quiet and shy on the outside but she was full of life to the ones who really knew her. She never came to the fore front - oh no! She was always behind the stage- so to speak.. listening to her friends, making a joke or two, giving earnest advice.. She never liked her father much. He was a proud man and he directed everybody in the family. Her Mother was extremely outspoken and a daring lady. Very much opposite to Ellen in disposition. Her father was very surprised when the news came out that Phillippe was in love with Ellen Robillard-"
Here, Anne Musgrove hesitated a little. "You must understand Ellen's disposition, Scarlett- She wanted to be loved for who she was. And that was enough for her. She was nothing but pure heart and love. And in a way, Phillippe understood that. He knew that although Ellen was in a difficult family, as a person, she was free and was in her own original nature and he did love her. And Ellen loved him for it. She told me that she had never felt that kind of love in her life."
"Oh" replied Scarlett, a little sullen. Inwardly she felt annoyed and vaguely depressed.
"But it happened so long ago" said Ms. Musgrove, quickly. "I am very sorry I got carried away, dear-"
"That's all right." replied Scarlett.
"She must have led a very different life as the wife of Mr. O'Hara-"
"Mother was happy with Pa..Father" replied Scarlett, bristled. "She ran Tara- although she always gave the credit to Pa.. Father- But what I don't understand is, how could Mother have been so hurt by this one small thing? How could she..for so many years..?"
Ms. Anne smiled lightly. "Oh Scarlett, you are so different. I see you are the kind of person who can summon up the courage to do what's best for the family, even if it means sacrificing you own feelings in the matter- But not everyone is like you, dear- Perhaps your Mother could not see past her own individuality. Perhaps that was her blind spot. Everybody has theirs. And she needed someone- she needed someone to lean on. She was so dependant by nature- Phillippe Robillard promised to save her- to prevent her from slipping into the opinions and concerns of others- She needed him and he was going to be everything to her!"
"Oh!" cried Scarlett, for the first time understanding the seriousness of the bond between her Mother and her dark-eyed cousin.
"It was a real bond" said Ms. Musgrove, mildly amused by the reaction she had caused in Scarlett. "But it happened so long ago!"
"But she loved Pa too-"
"Yes, she must have!" agreed the lady, nodding her head. "Mr. O'Hara in a way saved her. She did leave her family with her pride still intact- Her family felt genuinely distraught after she left. Her father, I think, died of a broken heart. But he just didn't understand Ellen. His was an independent nature. Like yours- If she had married Phillippe, she would have stayed more true to herself, I think. But I do blame Ellen for not seeing the turn things would take. Phillippe Robillard was the dark horse of the family. He drank more than a gentleman ought to drink and he lost more money than a gentleman ought to lose. He was always found in saloons and barroms, gambling with unsavoury, disreputable hooligans. Bringing such disgrace to the family. He was a constant thorn in their side. Ellen should have known the turn things would take when she declared her love for Phillippe! How could her father approve of such a match?! No man believes in that kind of sublime love!"
Scarlett inwardly shrunk at these words.
"Mother raised us to be great ladies- That was what the people of Georgia expected from her and she did it with all earnestness. But of course if we had been Phillippe's children-"
Scarlett cast her mind back and she saw the image of Ellen, living in a smaller house, with poorer clothes and looking happy and hearty with Phillippe by her side and all her three children being allowed to be who they really were- there would have been more kindness ,more time to love and be happy-"
"Phillippe was her soul-" she said, her voice shaking lightly.
"We all have blind spots in our nature, Scarlett. And in a way, we are dependant on certain people to be the best we can ever be- Ellen knew she lost her chance when Philippe died- So, she settled for a second best. Mr. O'Hara no doubt loved and cared for her-"
"Pa worshipped her!" said Scarlett. "But I don't think he ever thought that she could be more than what she was- Oh! Mother should have waited! She should have waited so that Pa knew exactly who she was..and then maybe he could have-"
Ms. Musgrove smiled. "Oh Scarlett, why are you worrying so? Your Mother had many faults and she was still happy and she's gone now. Why should all this matter now? You are not so emotional. And you are not so dependant too. Why do you analyse the things that cannot be changed? You must live your life and make the best of whatever life has offered to you."