Chapter 64

"All right, all right... I do admit now that I shouldn't have done that- especially after you were so warm and comforting whenever I woke up from my nightmares- It's just that, when Mother died and Pa lost his mind, the plantation was gone and there was no food and everyone was starving and I thought-" said Scarlett, frowning in thought. "What is the meaning of all this? Is this all? Are we all going to starve and die? Is this what everything has finally come up to? And everything that Mother had taught me, I thought they were useless-"

"We already spoke about that, Scarlett- You said things like kindness, gentleness were slowing you down and you needed to sail faster in your boat-"

"I was wrong" said Scarlett, immediately.

"Why?" asked Rhett, in genuine curiosity.

"Because I let that drive me.. that meaningless existence. Don't you see, Rhett... when I designed our house? The huge sculptures, the curtains, the rooms, the gazebo.. everything was meant to escape the meaninglessness of life-"

As Scarlett spoke, the expression on Rhett's face seemed to go gradually from unreadable blankness to faint signs of sincerity. "But what do you mean by this meaninglessness.. I have pointed out several silly traditions and customs to you.. why, I've even damned the entire South several times during our relationship- why should you still be afraid of meaninglessness?!"

"Afraid?" asked Scarlett, with a strange smile. "Why, Rhett- are you really so blind to your own heart? Just because things appear meaningless doesn't mean we have to accept them- we just have to create our own meaning, that's all. And the way I built that house and pushed everyone away, I also made sure I could never get anything meaningful or purposeful in my life."

Rhett remained silent, his eyes intently studying her.

A moment passed and a slow smile spread across his face. "Then I was right! That house was a monstrosity!"

"It was." replied Scarlett, stoically.

Rhett sat back on his chair, his grin growing wider and wider until Scarlett could see his white teeth shining.

"You needn't grin so much." she said, faintly annoyed. "Everyone makes a mistake-"

"But what a mistake! I thank you, my heart- I hadn't wasted my efforts after all!"

"Did you want to see me fail?" asked Scarlett, astonished.

"No. I could never predict what you were going to do with my money. But I also did lie that I was investing the money in you and hoping for returns-" said Rhett with a chortle. "I could always bait you with that line- But you know what I wanted to bait you into, Scarlett- I wanted you to grow up a little- You were such a child before and you were carrying such a huge load- Now you are speaking your own truth and it is heartening to know that after everything I've been through with you, at least there are some real returns!"

"Now, don't start showing off again! I can't stand your odiousness!"

"You always had a string of colourful names to call me."

"Well, I can't call you all that now, can I?! Not after-" Scarlett looked irritable. "Now, let me just finish my story-"