Chapter 1: Paris

A/N: This was the first Rizzles story I tried writing, but I hadn't yet finished it. While re-reading it in preparation to write the rest of the story, I realized that I wasn't a big fan of the writing. However, the storyline was still near and dear to me. Therefore, I've re-written it in hopes of improving it with the skills I've learned writing for the past year and a half.

Early chapters of this story received a lot of negative reviews. I love getting reviews, including *constructive* criticism. However, I'm not sure what good reviews that just spew hate do. For now, I still plan to approve every review, but if it gets out of hand, I may change this policy (e.g., "I hate you" comments directed at me/the author). I will post an update if I change my mind.

In the meantime, please be warned that this is an angsty story, and Maura *will* be with Ian (no explicit straight or even non-Rizzles sex scenes) before they figure their shit out (I'm removing the FWB relationship for Jane though because it was too OOC). As with all my stories, this will end in Rizzles, of course.

Sunday/Wednesday posting schedule

Trigger warning: subtle emotional abuse

Maura and Jane: July 2016

"Mauraaaa! Where are we going?" Jane whined.

Maura rolled her eyes as she responded, "I promise you will like it, Jane."

"If I'm still alive when we get there."

Maura rolled her eyes again. It was true that they had been walking quite a bit today, but she knew Jane was fine and just liked complaining. Maura and Jane had been in Paris for three weeks and only had one week left of their trip. So far, the trip had been even better than Maura had imagined when Jane told her that she was coming with her to Paris. They had been able to see so much, and Maura had written plenty for her novel, but most importantly, they had been able to spend time together before Jane moved to Virginia – something Maura was still not happy about.

Maura could see the restaurant they were going to up ahead. "It's just up the block, Jane."

Jane visibly perked up as she tried to see where they might be going. Despite the fact that Maura had told her she would like it, Maura could tell that Jane was surprised when they stopped in front of The Great Canadian Pub Sports Bar.

"Okay, now I love you, Maura," Jane said.

Maura laughed. She was also secretly glad it was dusk so that Jane couldn't see the slight blush that crept up her neck and cheeks. "Well, I figured you might miss your so-called 'normal' food."

Jane looked around as they walked in, and Maura was pleased by Jane's reaction. Even though the Red Sox weren't currently playing, there were plenty of American baseball games playing on the TVs around the bar.

"Thanks, Maur," Jane said, turning to look at her friend. They shared a soft smile as Jane admitted, "I have actually enjoyed the French food more than I had expected, but I do miss my 'normal' food. And I really miss baseball!"

Maura laughed again, shaking her head. This was classic Jane – missing greasy cheeseburgers while enjoying some of the best food in the world. They were shown to a table with a good view of multiple TVs – Jane, of course, sitting on the side looking at the bar since most of the TVs were behind the bar.

They enjoyed some idle chit-chat as they waited for their waiter. After both of them ordered a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and beer – Maura figured she could indulge since they were on vacation, and she had had a salad for lunch – they talked about their favorite parts of their trip so far. Maura, for one, was pretty sure she had enough pictures to fill multiple photo albums, and she may have already sent a few of her favorites to be printed and sent to her home.

The waiter brought their food, and even Maura had to admit that her mouth was watering. Everything looked and smelled so good.

Jane moaned into her first bite, "Oh my God, I did miss American, or I guess Canadian, burgers."

Maura smiled, "I'm glad you are enjoying your surprise."

"I really am," Jane replied with a smile. "I know it's silly but thank you for doing this for me. I know you would never come here on your own."

"No, I suppose I would not, but I am enjoying my burger very much, as well," Maura said.

As they were finishing their meal, Jane made the comment they were both avoiding, "I can't believe we only have a week left together in Paris."

Maura immediately sobered. Jane could see the unshed tears in her eyes as Maura responded, "I don't want to think about that. I know we can't avoid it forever, but I'd like to avoid it for a bit longer."

"Okay," Jane responded quietly. If she was being honest, she wanted to avoid thinking about it as well. Not knowing what to say next, she looked around the bar silently. After staring around aimlessly for a few moments, she noticed someone who reminded her of someone she'd rather not see. Hoping she was wrong, she kept looking back in his direction. Eventually, he looked up and made eye contact. Her face immediately fell as he smiled at her, recognizing her.

Maura, of course, noticed, "Jane, you look like you've seen a ghost." She turned around looking in the direction Jane was staring. Her face broke into a smile as she noticed the man walking towards their table.

When he reached their table, Maura jumped up. She called out to him, "Ian," before pulling him into a passionate kiss.

Luckily, Maura was too preoccupied to notice Jane's reaction. Jane felt like crying, but she knew that Maura loved Ian – she had called him the "love of her life." She wouldn't ruin this moment for Maura, no matter how she felt.

By the time Maura had turned back to their table, Jane had plastered a smile on her face. "Hi, Ian. It's been a while." She held out her hand to shake his. She was disappointed when he sat down next to Maura at their booth.

"How long have you two been in Paris?" Ian asked.

"We've been here three weeks," Maura responded. "Jane is moving to Virginia to be an instructor for the FBI, so we decided to spend a month together in Paris before she left." She didn't feel like telling him how she had originally planned the trip to get over Jane and learn how to live without her nor that Jane had surprised her by joining her at the last minute."

"Wow, congratulations, Jane," Ian said looking at Jane.

"Thanks. I'm looking forward to not getting shot at on a daily basis," Jane laughed without much emotion. She felt like she was supposed to say, 'I'm looking forward to it' or 'to my new job' or 'to starting over,' but she would be lying if she said this. She honestly wasn't sure if she had made the right decision, but she was looking forward to not being shot at.

Ian laughed.

"What are you doing in Paris?" Maura asked Ian.

"I'm actually trying to figure out what to do next with my life," Ian responded.

"What do you mean?" Jane questioned.

"It's a long story, but I'm no longer able to do the work I've been doing for so long. I can no longer help bring supplies to people who need them. I'm disappointed, but I am determined to find other ways to help. On the bright side, I've been cleared by Interpol."

"That's wonderful, Ian. I know what you were doing was technically illegal, but it was so important. Your really didn't deserve to be charged. I'm sorry you can no longer continue your work, but I'm sure you will find something just as meaningful, if not more meaningful," Maura told Ian.

"Thanks. I hope so," Ian responded. Looking around, Ian said, "I think a lot of people are waiting for a table. Do you guys want to move to the bar or find somewhere else to get a drink?"

"I'm actually really tired. Maura made me walk like one hundred miles today," Jane responded. She saw Maura's reaction to her comment and knew that Maura wanted to spend more time with Ian. "Maura, you should spend some time with Ian though, if you're still feeling up to it."

Maura looked at Jane, "First, that is a gross exaggeration. We did not walk one hundred miles today."

Jane and Ian both laughed at the fact that Maura just had to point that out.

Trying to read Jane's face, Maura continued, "However, I would really like to get a drink with Ian. Are you sure you would be okay with that, Jane?"

"Of course. I'm sure you are sick of me anyway and we still have plenty of time to spend together. Enjoy your evening!"

"I'm not sick of you, Jane," Maura smiled. "Maybe it's you that's sick of me," Maura started to worry.

"Of course, I'm not sick of you, but I do want you to enjoy your night."

Maura was still unsure if Jane was actually okay with her going out without her, but in the end, she decided to just take Jane at her word. "Okay, thanks. Ian, I'd love to join you for a drink, but let's find somewhere a bit quieter."

Maura paid for their meal and all three walked out of the bar together. Maura turned to Jane, "Are you sure this is okay? Do you know how to get back to the hotel?"

Jane smiled, trying to reassure Maura, "Yes, I'm 100% okay. And while I may act like a child sometimes, I am actually a fully grown adult who can find her hotel, even in a foreign city."

Maura laughed. Squeezing Jane's hand, she replied, "Okay, have a good evening and try to relax."

Jane: July 2016

Jane walked towards the street to hail a cab. When she got back to the hotel, she was feeling extremely grumpy. She could never say it to Maura, but she was not happy about Maura going out with Ian. Not only did she dislike – no, hate – Ian, but she wanted to spend as much time as possible with Maura before she moved. She wanted Maura to be happy though and she knew she was happy around Ian. She also did not want to seem too clingy.

She decided to take a warm bath. Her feet were, in fact, quite sore from all of the walking they had been doing. As she lowered herself into the bath, immediately feeling her muscles relax, she thought back to Maura – not that her mind had actually ever really left Maura. She had known she was in love with Maura for years, but she was also certain that Maura would never feel the same. If she were being honest with herself, this was part of the reason for moving away – she was running away from her feelings – but this was also why she was unsure if she had made the right decision. Even if it hurt to watch Maura date other people, she didn't really want to leave her. On the other hand, she knew that if she stayed close, it would hurt more once Maura married someone and started a family, once she moved on.

Crawling into bed, her body feeling much better, Jane felt the tears she had been holding back all evening – all month, actually – start to flow. She finally stopped fighting it, burying her face in her pillow as she sobbed. She eventually fell asleep crying before Maura returned to the room.

The next morning, she groaned, realizing she hadn't closed the blinds. It was early, too early for Jane's liking. Turning to Maura's side of the bed, she realized it hadn't been slept in. This instantly woke her up as she felt the panic rising quickly. Finding her phone, she saw that she had a text from Maura telling her she was staying the night with Ian and would be back before breakfast. Jane's panic was immediately replaced with a sick feeling. She knew this meant they had had sex – something Jane really did not want to think about – but she also knew this meant that Maura would talk about the sex. Maura really didn't have a filter. While Jane liked that Maura felt comfortable talking to her, she would really prefer not to hear about her sex life, or at least, not her sex life with other people. Jane groaned again as she tried to stop her brain from going down that road.

Behind her, Jane heard to door open. She turned to see Maura trying to return to their suite without waking Jane. Maura smiled as she noticed that Jane was already awake, "Jane, I didn't expect you to be up this early."

Jane returned Maura's smile, "Yeah, I didn't plan to be up this early, but I fell asleep early last night without closing the blinds. The sun decided it was time for me to get up."

"Are you going to try to go back to sleep?" Maura asked.

"No, I don't think so. We're you hoping to sleep?"

"No. I'd like to take a shower though. Why don't I do that? Then we can maybe go out for breakfast?"

"That sounds great, Maur. I took a bath last night, so I just need to wash my face and brush my teeth, which I can do after your shower."

"Great! That will be lovely," Maura replied as she walked to the bathroom.

Jane took a deep breath as Maura closed the door. She was feeling better this morning. Seeing Maura smile, especially seeing Maura smile at her, always made her feel better. She made a promise to herself to not let this ruin her last few days in Paris with Maura.

They had a wonderful day together and ended the day with a movie marathon in their pajamas.

At lunch the next day, Maura received a text. Jane could see the uncomfortable look on Maura's face, "What is it?"

"Nothing," Maura responded.

"Yeah, I don't believe you."

"It's just Ian. He wants to meet up again."

"And that makes you sad?" Jane asked.

"No, I just…" Maura trailed off.

Jane realized that she was uncomfortable because she probably wanted to see Ian again but didn't want to disappoint Jane. "It's okay, you know, if you want to see him again."

Maura looked up. She did want to see him again, but she also wanted to enjoy her time with Jane.

"Maura, it really is okay. Why don't we spend the day together and you can meet him for a drink after dinner?" Jane suggested. "Unless he already suggested something."

"No, he just said he wanted to see me again," Maura said looking Jane directly in the eyes. "I would like to see him again, as well. Would you really be okay with that?"

"Yes, I would really be okay with that. I want you to enjoy yourself."

"I am enjoying myself with you," Maura stated.

"I know. I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I just meant that I know you like Ian and like spending time with him. You don't get to do that often; you should take the opportunity while you can."

Finally believing Jane, Maura replied, "Thanks, Jane. Let me see if that works for him."

So, Jane once again found herself spending the evening alone in their hotel suite. She knew it was her fault. She had told Maura to go. She really did want Maura to enjoy herself. She just had to keep reminding herself that Maura was happy.

In the early hours of the morning, Jane was jolted from sleep by a crashing sound from somewhere in the dark from. "Maura, is that you?" she called sleepily.

"Yes, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Although, I somewhat blame you since you left your shoes in the middle of the room." She had tripped over Jane's shoes – loudly.

Jane laughed sleepily, "Sorry, I meant to move those."

"Um, Jane, are you going back to sleep, or can we talk for a little bit?" Maura asked. Jane could tell that Maura was trying to hide her bubbling happiness, torn between wanting to talk to Jane and not wanting to wake her.

"Of course, we can talk," Jane said, wondering what Maura wanted to talk about. Since Maura seemed happy, Jane hoped it wasn't anything bad.

Maura crawled into the bed, sitting close to Jane. "Ian is moving to Boston!" she squealed.

Jane sat up, feeling distinctly disoriented. She didn't expect this. "Wow, that's great," she said after she realized Maura was waiting for a response.

"I asked him to move in with me. I know it's fast, but I've loved him for a long time. I'm almost 40, and I don't want to waste more time," she told Jane as she tried to see Jane's face. It was too dark, though.

Jane didn't know what to say. "I guess that makes sense, if you're sure…" Jane trailed off.

"This way he also has time to figure out what he's going to do next without having to worry too much about expense."

"Don't let him take advantage of you."

Maura frowned, "I'm not. This was my idea."

Jane realized Maura really just wanted her approval, not her actual opinion, "Sorry, yeah, that makes sense then." She knew she was repeating herself, but she really didn't know what to say.

"Okay, I'm going to go get ready for bed. I just couldn't wait to tell you. Sorry again for waking you up."

"Maura, you can always wake me up. I want to know your good news and your bad news."

Maura smiled, "Goodnight, Jane."

"Goodnight, Maura."

"Maybe this means Maura won't see him for the remainder of their trip," she hoped as she fell back to sleep quickly.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. The next morning, Maura told Jane she was planning to see Ian again that evening. They were going to have dinner together.

After having dinner alone, Jane couldn't take it anymore. She pulled out her phone and looked up flights to D.C. and Boston. She knew this was the exact wrong thing to do, but she couldn't help it. She ended up booking a flight for that night to D.C. She quickly packed up her stuff and wrote a note to Maura:

Maura,
I got a call from the FBI. They need me in Quantico a few days early. I was able to get a flight back to D.C. tonight. I am so sorry I wasn't able to say goodbye. I didn't want to ruin your evening by texting you, so I'm leaving a note. I'll text you when I land and when I get to my apartment. I already miss you.
❤️ Jane

She was being a coward and she hated herself for it. She was lying to Maura AND not saying goodbye. She walked out of the suite, getting a taxi to the airport outside the hotel. She didn't even try to stop the tears as she rode to the airport.

A/N: I don't actually know how Interpol works or how being wanted by Interpol works, but I needed Ian to be able to travel to the U.S. for this story to work. Sorry for the cop-out.