"Kazuma, Kazuma!"

The young Japanese man huffed quietly over Aqua's demands for attention, which had been even more persistent than usual this morning. Really, all the girls were up to their usual games; Megumin was already thundering away at Yunyun about their rivalry on the far end of Wiz's shop, while Darkness observed a fresh shipment of monster attractor with not-so-subtle interest. Same old, same old.

"Hai, Kazuma desu…" he mumbled half-heartedly in Japanese. He never really understood why his teammates had such a strange habit of repeating his name like broken wind-up toys. And after surviving a narrowing sixth death inside of a bobby-trapped dungeon his idiot "goddess" friend picked out thinking it was safe, he didn't particularly care at the moment.

"Check out what I just found!" Aqua pleaded, giving Kazuma just a moment of pause before his curiosity one out and he turned to face her, where she was presenting a pink, perfume-eque bottle with a big smile. "It's called a Lovely Potion! It's only five eris, and it's supposed to make people like you more!"

"If it's only five eris, there must be something wrong with it," Kazuma sated cynically, raising a cautious brow at the dubious potion the blue-haired girl was presenting him. "And it's one of Wiz's products. That thing is setting off all kinds of flags."

"Oh, c'mon! Don't be such a debbie downer!" Aqua chided with an eyeroll, bouncing the potion back and forth between her hands and making the young man cringe in nervous anticipation. Sooner or later, the clutz of a goddess was gonna drop it, and it'd be all on him. "Hey, what's that look for?"

"First of all, don't just juggle it like a circus clown!" Kazuma scolded, causing Aqua to freeze in place and gawk at him in offense. "Secondly, why are you showing me this? What, is your 'godly beauty' not cutting it anymore?"

"Yeesh, what's got you in such a mood? I just thought it was cool...and Eris knows you could always use more ways to get people to like you." The goddess sniped back with a huff, before her eyes widened and that offended look returned with a vengeance. "Hey, you're not still mad at me for the dungeon the other day, right? I said I was sorry already!"

"No, you're not!" Kazuma practically yelled, inadvertently drawing the attention of all the girls in the room. "If you were really sorry, you'd learn to be more responsible! That means doing more thorough research on quests, not thinking in the short-term, and most importantly, STOP GETTING US INTO CONSTANT DEBT!"

Aqua shark back a bit following the outburst, and Kazuma felt just the slightest twinge of guilt kick up in his chest when he noticed the tears in her eyes. Maybe they were fake, maybe they were real. Either way, he hated seeing the goddess cry, irritating or not. Swallowing his pride and irritation in equal measures, he tried again, calmer this time.

"Alright, look, I'm sorry for yelling at her like that, okay?" He apologized, only half-expecting Aqua to really listen to his words. "It's just that…the things you do frustrate me sometimes. I know you don't always mean to do it, but your laid-back attitude towards it is what really leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Sometimes I get the impression you don't really care about how people other than yourself feel."

Aqua shifted from foot to foot for a moment, drying her eyes before offering Kazuma a genuinely apologetic look, prompting the young man to once again try to block out the sting he felt run through him. "I'm sorry, Kazuma. Really. I-I don't mean to cause problems. I'll try to do better in the future, I promise!"

Despite himself, Kazuma allowed a small smile to reach his lips. "Well, as long you're not half-assing it, then that's all I can really ask for."

Aqua beamed at him, and while he would never admit this to anyone in a million years…he always thought she was truly beautiful whenever she smiled like that…

Kazuma's eyebrows shot up in sudden realization before he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the water goddess. "Wait, I see what's going on now. Butter me up with a sappy promise then guilt-trip me into buying that potion for you in return, is that it? Well, nice try, useless."

There was a few seconds of silence as he watched the smile disappear from Aqua's face, quickly replaced with a snarl of absolute irritation. If he didn't realize he'd screwed up by then, he caught the hint when she winded up her hand and practically hucked the potion at his head with a shriek of, "YOU STUPID, STUBBORN HIKINEET!"

Luckily, Kazuma was quick enough on the dry to shield his head from any serious injury. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to prevent the glass bottle from breaking, spilling its contents all over the boy. Now he was left feeling sticky and smelling like ass. "Ugh! Wiz, this gunk is supposed to be perfume? It smells like Lewdness' monster attractor!"

"Oh, heavens! Kazuma!" The shopkeeper practically shouted, hurrying over from behind the counter with a few towels, the distinctly worried look on her making Kazuma even more concerned. "I'm so sorry, that was a defective product! It shouldn't have even been out on the shelves, it's actually dangerous!"

"Wiz, I like you, you're really cool, but why the hell do you do this!?" Kazuma vented while the busty lich frantically did her best to wipe the remaining residue off his body. "First it was that fitness gimmick choker, now whatever this crap is! What's wrong with it?"

"W-well, I'm afraid Lady Aqua was mistaken. It's not a Lovely Potion, it's...w-well, it's a Love Potion." Wiz replied with visible embarrassment, prompting Kazuma to balk instantly in disbelief. "I-it doesn't work in the traditional fashion, either. There's a reason it ended up at my shop, after all…"

"Okay…" Kazuma breathed, trying his best to remain calm. He's seen enough shows involving love potions to know that it almost always ends up badly for everyone involved. "So what's the catch then?"

"Well, the potions have been known to...elevate the emotions of those around the affected party, prompting said affected to profess their love to the recipient." Wiz explained, tapping her fingers together as she did so and averting her gaze. "U-unfortunately, the longer potion lasts, the more...aggressive these advances will become."

Biting his knuckle in a restrained attempt to hold back a scream of fear and aggravation, Kazuma steadied his breathing and asked plainly, "Okay, is there any way to wash it off then? While I don't particularly mind the thought of having female adventurers swoon over me, I'd rather not have any of them jump me. Not after those lady orcs tried to have their way with me."

"I'm afraid not, no. T-the only solution is to wait it out, i-it should only last a day or two." Wiz replied, her blush growing deeper as she began to fidget, still unable to look Kazuma in the eyes. "...I'm terribly sorry, Kazuma. I don't suppose there's anything I can do to help?"

"Other than stop lining your shelves with dangerous products, not really," Kazuma sighed, pulling out his money pouch and offering the strangely shy lich lady five eris. "This should cover for Aqua's screw up. Sorry for her misbehavior…again."

"A-ah, right. Of course, thank you." Wiz replied after a beat, shaking her head and taking the proffered eris, slapping on a small smile as she nodded to Kazuma and inched back towards the counter. "Sorry for the trouble again, and best of luck!"

With a mock salute, Kazuma waited for Megumin to finish her latest spat with Yunyun and Darkness to pay for her monster attractor before heading home with his party. Even though Wiz told him trying to wash the potion out wouldn't do him any good, he still felt the urge to draw a bath anyway, at least in hopes of getting the stink out. And here I thought toad slime smelled rotten.

After smirking to himself at his own dumb joke, Kazuma was struck with a rather peculiar realization: the girls hadn't so much as peeped since leaving the store. In fact, he couldn't help but notice them sneaking quick glances his way as they walked back home together. If there was one thing the green-clad adventurer had learned during his time spent leaving with these knuckleheads, it's that them being quiet was NEVER a good sign.

"Alright, out with it," Kazuma demanded point blank. "What did you three do while I wasn't looking?"

"N-nothing! We didn't do anything!" Megumin replied quickly, raising her hands in a placating gesture. "We just, uh…we were talking about...how scary that dungeon was from yesterday, y'know? I mean, you nearly caught an arrow to the neck, it's gotta be bad for you, right?"

Kazuma looked at the obviously lying Megumin before shrugging and looking back directly in front of him. "Eh, it would've sucked, that's for damn sure. Heh, I imagine a certain pervert in our team probably would've found a way to envy me, though."

"T-that's not funny, Kazuma!" Darkness chimed in, her eyes shining with genuine worry as she regarded him. "You could have been seriously injured by that trap, that's nothing to joke about! A-as if I'd dare bring up my habits with such a serious subject at hand!"

"So those encounters we've had with Beldia, Vanir, Hans, and Sylvia don't count then?" Kazuma shot back with a deadpan expression, masking his inner confusion on why the crusader was suddenly so worried about his well-being. Didn't she know Aqua would've just revived him anyway? Seriously, what a meathead.

"W-well...I suppose they do, but…" Darkness started before trailing off and crossing her arms, cheeks flushed once more in what Kazuma could only guess to be real embarrassment for once as she continued. "Just because you can shrug off a few deaths doesn't mean you should just hurl yourself into danger without a care. We...we worry about you."

Kazuma…faltered. For once, he had nothing snarky to say back and was left internally shocked with the sheer sincerity in the masochist's tone. Should he be this surprised to hear that one of his batshit insane friends say that? He…didn't know. And honestly, he didn't want to think too hard about it, either. Right now, this conversation was getting a little too "friendship anime" in his professional opinion.

"Uh…thanks, you too," Kazuma answered awkwardly, electing to keep facing forward to avoid eye contact. "I worry about you guys too, y'know. You may annoy the hell outta me, but you're also still my friends, so…yeah."

The green clad boy mentally contemplated just how much of a putz he sounded like as he kept facing forward, utterly missing the luminescent blushes that blossomed on all three of the girls' faces as they continued on their way home.

Once the colorful gang of misfits finally reached their mansion, the first thing Kazuma did was head straight to the bathroom, determined to wash the stink of the potion out if nothing else. Truthfully, he was a little disappointed that not a single member of the opposite came rushing at him to profess their secret love to him on the way home. A part of him had to wonder if the stupid potion was simply a dud. Seeing as how it came from Wiz's shop, it honestly wouldn't surprise him if that turned out to be the case all along.

Sinking into the warm water of the bath, he allowed his eyes to flutter close, well and truly relaxed for the first time in what felt like hours as he considered that Wiz really might have just spooked him over nothing. It was bizarrely equal parts reassuring and disappointing, but hey, that's just how the cookie crumbles sometimes. At least he had nothing else out of the ordinary to worry about!

Well…almost nothing, anyway. The sound of the bathroom door opening (which he just remembered that he forgot to lock) alerted him to Megumin wearing nothing but a towel holding Chomusuke. Kazuma was quick enough to go for his own towel and cover his exposed crotch as he sat in the tub.

"Woah, woah, WOAH! What the hell are you doing in here!?" He demanded. "I already called the bathroom, go wait your turn, jailbait!"

"Oh, come on! Don't be a baby, we've done this before, remember?" Megumin replied with an edge of snark, though her cheeks did glow a light pink as she inched towards the bath, managing a small smile. "It's really not that big a deal, right?"

"Well, maybe to us it isn't, but I'd rather not have to live through Aqua calling me pedoNEET again," Kazuma insisted. "If her or Darkness found out we did this again, they'd never let me hear the end of it."

"Mhm...fine, I'll wait outside." Megumin relented, her expression visibly faltering into...was that annoyance? Kazuma didn't get a better look as the young wizard turned on her heel and marched back out the door, Chomps still in hand (he felt that was an easier and shorter way to call her cat). Suddenly, he was left alone again, wondering just what the hell that was all about.

Seems Darkness isn't the only one acting strange today, Kazuma thought to himself as he started to actually clean himself. Well, stranger than normal, anyway. And just when you think you know your friends like the back of your hand.

After taking a few minutes to clean himself and relax a bit longer, Kazuma eventually grabbed his towel and made his way over to the door, walking past the waiting Megumin and over to his folded pile of clothes nearby. He was about to start getting dressed when he paused, feeling a set of eyes lingering on him. "...you mind?"

"Huh? O-oh, right! Sorry…" Megumin mumbled in an uncharacteristically shy manner as she and her familiar entered the bathroom, once again leaving Kazuma in a state of utter confusion. Ultimately, she shrugged and put some clean clothes on before walking out the hallway.

On his way back to his room, Kazuma passed through the living room and noticed Aqua, already switched into her pjs, lounging on the couch nearby, a fresh bottle of cracked bubbly in her hands. He nearly rolled his eyes, until he realized that it was actually one of her reserve bottles, and as such one of her favorites. She must have had a reason for breaking one open outta nowhere.

"What's the special occasion?" Kazuma couldn't help but ask from behind, smirking in amusement seeing her jump slightly at his sudden presence. "Is it for going a whole day without drinking?"

"Oh, uh...naw, just felt like cracking open a bottle of something I really liked for a change." Aqua replied after a beat, giggling slightly and making Kazuma quirk an eyebrow at her. Man, she gets tipsy quick. "You wanna sip? Once in a lifetime offer, right here~!"

That mere suggestion was enough to wipe the smirk off Kazuma's face as he studied the alcoholic archpriest before him. "You never let anyone have a sip of your reserve…"

"Well, what can I say? I'm feeling generous." Aqua replied easily, not even bothering to bat an eye at her friend's apparent suspicion, though she did mutter to herself a few seconds later. "Besides...you're not just anyone, are you?"

"What was that?"

"I said, stop your glaring and just take a sip, you dork." The goddess huffed offering Kazuma the bottle emphatically. Bewildered but likewise curious, Kazuma finally accepted the bottle and took a swift swig after a moment of contemplation. "Eh? Pretty good, right?"

"Huh. Actually, yeah, that stud hits the spot!" Kazuma declared before wiping off the rim of the bottle with his shirt before handing it back to Aqua who, weirdly enough, looked mildly annoyed when he did that. He assumed she wouldn't want an indirect kiss from a "hikiNEET" such as himself, so he thought it mandatory to clean it before she got the wrong idea. "Something up?"

"No, nothing at all." Aqua replied quietly, taking another long swig of her drink before tilting her head back to Kazuma, seemingly stewing on something for a few seconds before finally putting it to words, and admittedly...it wasn't what he expected. "Have I ever told you that you have pretty eyes?"

"…no, you haven't…" Kazuma replied quietly but simply, staring at her with wide, apparently "pretty" eyes before slowly backing out of the room. "I am going to go take a nap now…goodbye."

Without giving her a moment to reply, Kazuma hastily booked it down the hall back to his room, stepping inside quickly and shutting the door, a quiet sigh of relief escaping him as he slumped against it, eyes closed. That...that was a little weird, even for Aqua. Maybe he did have something to worry about…

"K…kazuma?"

Once again, Kazuma's pretty – STOP THAT! His eyes shot open when he heard that flustered yet distinctly mature voice. Standing directly in front of him, in his own bedroom, was none other than Darkness, in naught but a pink robe which left very little to the imagination. The two held an impromptu staring contest before Kazuma ended it by shaking his head clear from any unsavory thoughts about this whole setup.

"I'll give you ten seconds to explain what you're doing in my room before I use Drain Touch on you," he threatened, only to realize his mistake a second too late when she perked up in excitement. "Explain."

"Ah, right. Well, I thought...really, it wasn't my intention...the funny thing is…" Darkness attempted, trailing off before she got too far into any particular lie. She paused for a moment as Kazuma's glare persisted, her mouth suddenly going terribly dry. "Aha...I suppose I don't have a proper excuse, then. Oh well, actions have consequences...are you prepared to deliver on mine?"

This wouldn't be the first time Kazuma found himself in a rather ecchi situation with the crusader, and he had a feeling it certainly wouldn't be the last. Though they've had their close calls with taking things too far, the young teenager would be lying through his teeth if he denied having any fantasies featuring her in particular. The only thing that halted his libido from doing something he'd regret was her insatiable M personality; it was such a turn off for him! Shame that body like that was wasted on someone with a rotten character.

…but have you ever tried looking past the masochism? Whispered a traitorous voice within the back of his head. Or, at the very least, play along and see if there's something to it?

Kazuma pinched the bridge of his nose, torn between desperately willing away the blush that was brewing on his own face and banishing the lewd thoughts that threatened to spill over in his mind. Slowly, he managed to calm himself down for the most part, jabbing a thumb at the door behind him with a subdued scowl.

"Out. Now."

"Y-yes, sir~" Darkness moaned, cupping her blushing cheeks in ecstasy as she walked out of Kazuma's room, muttering barely intelligible things to herself. Once she was out of his line of sight, he slammed the door shut and flopped face-first onto his bed, screaming into his pillow as he did so.

What the hell is going on?! There is no reason for these guys to be acting so out of sorts! Kazuma thought to himself desperately, before a particularly troubling thought crossed his mind. Maybe...maybe they're being affected by the potion? I guess it really could be kicking into high gear, and it's not like Wiz was really elaborate on the rules…

The troubled young man suddenly raised his head out of his pillow as his thoughts spiraled out of control. Wait, if the potion really is affecting the girls, wouldn't that mean they've already had underlying feelings for…N-no, that can't be right! They've never expressed interest in me before, we're just friends and that's it! You know what, I wouldn't be surprised if the love potion adds an artificial sense of affection in those who are simply close to the user. Yeah, that…doesn't sound like too much of a stretch, right? And maybe it makes the wearer a little horny, too.

The meaningless debate bounced around in Kazuma's brain for another few hours, before he finally drifted off into a restless sleep, wholly unaware that his party members were facing similar problems...and that while he'd focused on his internal struggle, someone had slipped into his room long before he nodded off.

The silver-haired thief used her Farsight skill to scan the room for any valuable loot she could nab and was rewarded with an internal "ping" coming from Kazuma's closet. Chris shook her head lightly in mirth at how predictable her thieving friend was when it came to hiding his money. She almost felt inclined to leave it as an act of pity…but then quickly realized how stupid that line of thinking before activating Lurk and creeping over to Kazuma's closet.

Cracking open the closet with the utmost care, Chris retrieved the small pouch tucked away below the spare blanket, pulling it out with a small smirk. It was almost like he was asking for his goodies to get stolen, the big dork. As the thought passed, however, she glanced in the direction of the sleeping man, and something...shifted inside her.

Not only was Chris just now realizing how cute and peaceful Kazuma looked when sleeping…but it actually made her start to feel just the tiniest bit guilty over breaking into his home to steal his shit. There was never meant to be any honor among thieves like her, of course, and the fact they were friends didn't change that golden standard. Plus, stealing his money would be payback for all the times she stole the panties right off of her! And yet, for whatever reason, just seeing Kazuma sleep peacefully was enough for Chris to be compelled to do the right thing for once in her career…

"Mhm...damn you, Satou." Chirs muttered to herself softly, taking a few tentative steps closer and leveling a half-hearted glare at the young man as she did so. However, as she reached the edge of his bed, the unexplainable warmth in her chest reached a fever pitch, and her cheeks lit up with a sudden realization; there were better things to steal than a few eris...like a kiss…

Before Chris knew what she was doing, she was already bent forward, her lips mere inches away from his soft…warm…inviting lips…only to realize that Kazuma was now awake and staring at her in stunned silence.

"...ah...you need something, buddy? Cup of sugar?" Kazuma mused with a groggy tone, lifting a hand to rub his eyes and try and figure out if what he was seeing was just the remnants of sleep being weird. "Y'know, must be important enough to break into my room. Without knocking, no less."

"Well, as a thief and more importantly your friend, I felt the need to test your security," Chris replied smoothly, her poker face having been crafted to perfection long ago. "In conclusion: it sucks. Better bump it up before a burglar becomes tempted, 'kay~?"

"Wow. So quick witted, and so late at night no less! You must run on thievery alone or something'." Kazuma muttered, still toeing the line between sleepy and awake as he rolled over slightly. "Hmm, thanks for the check-up, you weirdo. I'm sure you'll take a fair fee for your work, and I'll track you down tomorrow to get it back. Night, Chris."

"Night, Kaz," Chris replied before moving over to open the window. Before she leapt out, however, the silver-haired thief looked down at her feet and noticed an old pair of discarded boxers. Glancing back at Kazuma, who was already in the process of soundly falling back to sleep, Chris bit her lip and contemplated longer than she cared to admit. With a muted, "Fuck it," she swiped the goods and leapt back into the night, having no regrets whatsoever.