Chapter 79

But it took Scarlett at least a month to find the right person who could help Ella. Whoever she favoured as a good teacher, she brought home with her and introduced the person to her daughter. And almost by the end of the day, Ella would be throwing the most awful tantrums and simply refuse to be compliant or reasonable. Yet Scarlett persisted. She refused to give up.

Then one day, when the butler announced a stranger at her doorstep, she found a middle-aged woman eagerly inquiring about a vacant position for a governess.

"A governess?" asked Scarlett, confused. "I was only looking for someone who can teach my daughter some painting- She is a very small child- only about seven or so."

"Oh yes, Madam- I could teach painting too. I am an experienced governess. I lived in England with my sister's family during the war and I looked after two children there. And now I've returned but my land is gone and I lived with my relatives for the past year and a half. Please do consider me, Madam"

Something in the woman's manner seemed very familiar but Scarlett couldn't put her finger on it. She let the woman inside and while the woman took off her hat and gloves, Scarlett observed her gown and shoes. They were very plain but neatly stitched. She saw the plain brooch on the clean white collar and instantly thought of dear Melanie. Yes, this woman also had a heart-shaped face but her hair had more volume and seemed more attractive.

"I can also teach the scripture and a little bit of grammar if you like-"

"What is your name, please?"

"My name is Finch. I live with my two cousins down in the Country. My husband was Mr. Barton Finch who served as a soldier in the war. He was later given an honorary promotion to a captain. I have a son - John Finch who works as a store clerk. He is married with two children. This is the first time I have come to Atlanta. It is such a busy place-"

"Yes-er.." Scarlett was hesitant to let the woman into her parlour as she was a much older person than she had wished for. Why this woman seemed to be in her forties- Scarlett didn't seem to like that too much.

She turned on a charming smile and called out to Lousia to bring Ella to the hall. "You must meet my daughter first. Her name is Ella Lorena- She is very shy and temperamental- you know how strong-willed daughters can be-"

Scarlett looked at Mrs. Finch once again and was relived to find Ella bouncing down the stairs.

Mrs. Finch quickly bent down and stretched out her hand towards Ella and said "Hello there, Lorena- What a lovely name your mother has given you-"

Ella blushed in surprise. "No one calls me that. Everybody calls me Ella-"

"But Lorena is such a beautiful name. Its is a sentimental name-"

Ella drew near in curiosity and finally shook Mrs. Finch's hand. Then she went nearer to Scarlett and looked from her mother to the strange lady. "What is sentiment?"

"Sentiment is the what you feel about something- It is the feeling that calls your heart to come home - come home to love and safety, to family and friends. You must be very special if your Mother named you Lorena-"

Scarlett easily picked up on Ella's feelings as she looked at Mrs. Finch. It seemed like a miracle. "Perhaps if we went into the parlour?" she offered, eagerly.

But Mrs. Finch was already holding onto Ella's hand and gently singing,

The years creep slowly by, Lorena,
The snow is on the grass again.
The sun's low down the sky, Lorena,
The frost gleams where the flow'rs have been.
But the heart throbs on as warmly now,
As when the summer days were nigh.
Oh, the sun can never dip so low
A-down affection's cloudless sky.

"Its was a song that made soldiers remember their mothers, wives and family during the hardships of fighting and when they came home, they were happy and proud to live those precious few moments with the ones they loved- The song was written by a Reverand - when he was young and it became popular since then-"

"It is beautiful", said Ella, staring at Scarlett in wonder.

"You see, Lorena- the soldiers remembered their loved ones not because of the happy times- this song isn't a happy song. It speaks of how duty often stands in the way of expressing affection and how slow moments are lost in the rush of life- it is this feeling of loss- this true and honest feeling that makes a soldier imagine...and finally remember with a warm fondness of his home- to imagine and to remember-"

Ella looked absolutely enchanted.

"My name is Mrs. Ada Finch- Would you enjoy learning from me how to use your imagination, Lorena?"

Ella looked from Scarlett to Mrs. Finch and nodded quickly.

Tea was served.

Scarlett was delighted as she arranged for Mrs. Finch to live with her in an upstairs room. "Ella is known to throw a few tantrums and she is very shy- I have an older son who is attending law school and I have to mind him too. He is a very intelligent young boy-" Scarlett spoke the words quickly- they seemed to tumble out of her mouth for she was eager for Mrs. Finch to perform her wonders on Ella. And if later on Mrs. Finch should complain of Ella's whining and bad temper, she would point out that she herself had encouraged it by calling Ella as "Lorena" and she would admonish Ella for being silly- She had it all worked out. She could get the most out of this relationship and as the days passed, as she had predicted Ella often cried and never paid much attention when she was being taught something. After another frightful tantrum one afternoon, she found Mrs. Finch coming out of the room with all her drawing books folded up in her hands.

"What's the matter?" she asked, nervously.

"Come here, Mrs. Butler-" said Mrs. Finch, beckoning Scarlett to the half-open door and she peered inside. Ella was seated behind the curtain in a window, looking out at the garden. Mrs. Finch pointed to the floor where a paper half-soaked with some water and a bit of paint lay. "That is where she is supposed to sit. But whenever she cries, that window is where she climbs and sits there in a huff. The first lesson this child needs is not how to paint but how to stop using the window as a place of refuge. She must come down from there to here-"

Mrs. Finch pointed from the window to the floor where the chair was lying overturned.

"I'll speak to her-" said Scarlett, sternly.

"No, not now- Mrs. Butler- Please. Let me do it. There art lessons can wait. The child must be teachable first-"

Mrs. Finch closed the door and walked quickly to her room to lay down her things.

Another week passed and Ella's tantrums lessened. Scarlett had been right in making Mrs. Finch stay with her for Ella often crept to Mrs. Finch's room to tearfully apologize after an angry fit. And when she apologized, she tended to observe more and more of Mrs. Finch- her drawing folder, her books, her diaries, her pictures of her husband and son- even her things.

Scarlett gratefully steered clear of both Ella and Mrs. Finch. Their bond seemed to vaguely resemble Rhett's bond with Bonnie and Scarlett had learned her lesson by now. She never interfered and she soon saw Ella paint her first picture. It was an ordinary picture but Scarlett was thrilled. She saw good things ahead of Ella.

The one evening, when Mrs. Finch returned from her outing, she approached Scarlett with something on her mind.

"Yes, Mrs. Finch-"

"Mrs. Butler- I went into town for the first time and well- perhaps I should have told you this- but-"

"Yes?" asked Scarlett. She called for her butler to bring some sandwiches and two cups of strong coffee.

Mrs. Finch was soon seated in an armchair and sipping coffee. "You see, Mrs. Butler- I met Pittypat Hamilton just now. I know her because you see, we share the same relatives in Macon- That's where I come from- Macon-"

Scarlett's hands almost dropped the cup and saucer. With tremendous effort, she gathered her composure and said "Macon? Yes, I know about that place- But then you must also know Melanie Hamilton-"

"Yes, I have not met Melanie Hamilton but I have heard of her. Your Aunt always tells such warm stories-"

"Yes...yes, I know she does-" said Scarlett, warily.

"I also know India Wilkes-" said Mrs. Finch, evenly. "She came to live in our house for just a month or so-"

Scarlett's throat dried out. She couldn't speak. She knew when India had gone down to Macon. She knew the reason why too.

"Some misunderstanding- But of course, Pittypat wrote begging India to come back to Atlanta and India returned-"

"Did..did she tell you about the misunderstanding..?" asked Scarlett, already afraid of the answer.

"Yes, she did. I am afraid I do know some rather intimate details. But I assure you it didn't go past me. I was merely a passing sympathetic listener- I never remembered all this until it came to my ears that Scarlett Butler was looking for a governess- News travels fast down South- I thought I had better hide these things from you because I was badly off. My son could hardly support his own family and I had no land- So, I thought I would hide it all until I came here. Until I knew who you were- And now that I've met Pittypat, the news will be out. So, this is why I want you to be the first to know- I hope you don't mind, dear-"

"If you know all about that misunderstanding, you must either laugh at me or pity me. I can't believe India would blab all this to somebody else- I wish I never-" Scarlett wanted to remove Mrs. Finch from her position but she feared Ella's well-being. She was in a difficult spot.

"Now, Mrs. Butler- Who am I to say anything- I don't know the context of the things that happened-"

"India must have told you a lot of lies about me- she was jealous of me- she hated me! If you only knew Melanie- Melanie was sweet- till her dying breath- She was like a sister to me. She never accused or blamed me at all-"

"Mrs. Butler- please calm yourself. I never insinuated anything. I was merely apologizing for hiding the acquaintance. I need this job. I need the salary you pay me. And in this context, perhaps you wouldn't mind my knowing this as I am living in this house and teaching your own daughter. Perhaps, if you wished we could sort it all out and make your family more closely knit?"

"What do you mean? We are a tightly knit family- You speak as if you know everything about us! You don't- Why, how could you speak like this?"

Mrs. Finch calmly sipped her tea.

Scarlett decided to drink her coffee too. After a few minutes, her heart seemed to regain its normal pace. "Did you know Ashley Wilkes too?" she asked, glumly. "You must know it all came to a glorious nothing- My own husband said he loved me. He is abroad now but when he comes back, we will be together again-"

"This is not for them that I am saying these words, Mrs. Butler- I am only thinking of you. Don't you want to resolve that small confusion in you life- saving up all the yearnings in your heart for one person who might or might not return your affection- It still stands in the way- this nasty incident-"

Scarlett slowly shook her head. "It was a nasty, shameful incident- It shames me even to remember it. How can I possibly-"

"You must- for your children's sake. Free yourself from that incident- if you never address it, you might end up repeating the same mistake-"

"With Ashley Wilkes?! Why I would never-"

"Not Mr. Wilkes- with your own children and your husband-"

"I don't understand-" Then suddenly Scarlett's brow cleared up with understanding. Mrs. Finch was talking about that desire to submit- that desire that she kept putting away. Her eyes lit up with a sudden knowing light. When she saw Mrs. Finch, she could suddenly peer right into her soul. It seemed to be a friendly, gentle soul.

Suddenly she found herself calming down. She returned a faint smile. "I already know what you are talking about, Mrs. Finch. Its a bad habit I picked up and I do try to stop it. I do know what you are saying-"

Mrs. Finch stood up and after a smile and a nod, she walked to her room.

Scarlett leaned back in her chair, surprised and pleased with herself for handing her own emotions so well.