Kazuma's brow furrowed as he hammered away at his keys, the current raid he was participating in was going less than stellar. Still, a small smile did remain on his face as he spotted a familiar fireball soar in from the left side of his screen, knowing Crimson was likely down again and needed to be revived.
xXCrims0n_D3monXx: ded. h2, could u stop heal sat 4 a bit and help me plz? thx
Satou: Yes, stop healing the party leader and cater to my every whim! What a wonderful suggestion, except for the part where it's NOT-
H2OwningU: With our brave party leader's permission, I shall avenge u, Crimson! Here I come!
With that, H2 promptly darted away, oblivious to her friend's sarcasm. While this initially just sparked utter disbelief within Kazuma, he found himself giving way to laughter as he realized just how phenomenally poor they were doing. Darkest, despite putting a few more points into her offensive stats here and there, was getting shit combat rolls left and right, leaving him the sole offensive pusher, who'd just lost his source of healing and buffs, no less. They really should have invited more people.
Darkest Knight: WHY CAN'T I HIT FOR SHIT THIS GAME IS RIGGED!
Darkest Knight: …
Darkest Knight: I apologize for that…I suppose this is what Chris was referring to when she said I sometimes have 'heated gamer moments'…
H2OwningU: Lol, nothing 2 apologize 4, Dark! We all get a little heated sometimes! Just look at the dum bosses face and tell me he doesn't look pwnchable.
xXCrims0n_D3monXx: seems even masochists have limts, lol. also, guess wat time it is…
Satou: Crimson, don't you fucking dare, we are in the MIDDLE OF A RAID.
xXCrims0n_D3monXx: i am srry, my child…but it must b done…
As soon as that message appeared, a torrent of dead, stupid, or untranslated memes blew through the chat, utterly distracting the young man, who soon enough fell to one of the raid bosses' stronger attacks. And yet, instead of grumbling over the loss or protesting like he normally would under most circumstances, he continued to laugh over just how absurd the chat had become in a matter of seconds, all thanks to Crimson.
H2OwningU: This chat has become cursed 0_0
Darkest Knight: It's practically a meme graveyard...none of these have been funny for months now…
xXCrims0n_D3monXx: hey, i threw a spongebob meme or 2 in there for good measure. those will always be timeless. btw, u guys watch it sub or dub? if the latter, leave chat now filthy casuals
Satou: You are certifiably insane, Crimson. Not over sub or dub, just...the usb, man. How many memes have you even gone through? Half?
xXCrims0n_D3monXx: wat u've seen from me thus far is but the tip of the ice burg my friend : )
H2OwiningU: I am both fearful and envious of her power!
Darkest Knight: That USB must be full to bursting…Please don't take that out of context!
Satou: What context can be extruded from a bursting USB..?
Darkest Knight: …Nevermind, forget I typed anything at all.
Kazuma leaned back in his chair and shook his head in equal parts exasperation and amusement. He'd been playing with this trio for about a month now, and things were actually going decently well. They were still strange as all hell, but in a familiar way. Again, the internet just brought that out in people. Regardless, it was nice to have a proper group of friends to talk to and hang out with, even if it was only ever online.
Eyeing the time at the bottom corner of his screen, Kazuma frowned when he realized it was getting late. While that normally meant nothing for the shut-in hikikomori, that usually meant closing time at the café Crimson frequented to mooch off of their free Wi-Fi. And with them logging off the others were quick to follow, leaving the socially withdrawn young man to go back to his quiet life of desperation. Back to reality…
H2OwningU: It's starting 2 get a lil' late, but there was somethin I wanted 2 ask u guys about before we part ways for the night!
Now that was enough to pull Kazuma out of his depressing thoughts and he raised his brow as his fingers went to the keyboard.
Satou: Oh yeah? Well, go ahead: shoot.
H2OwingU: Wellll, I was thinkin. We get along really well, and I like u guys a bunch! So, I thought I might as well ask if u guys wanna hang out sometime in person?
Kazuma froze at that last line of text sent by H2. What would normally be seen as a momentous milestone in the eyes of regular human beings was a rude slap to the face for the reclusive NEET. Just when he believed he finally had a good thing going here with these faceless knuckleheads, they had to go and drop this kind of bomb on him!?
His heart started beating so fast, it got to the point where it actually caused him physical discomfort. He needed to go splash some water on his face.
Quickly rising to his feet, he stumbled his way out of his room and down the adjoining hall into the bathroom, doing just what he said he was going to and splashing his face with water, trying his damndest to force his heart to stop thundering away in his chest.
Hang out in person? Kazuma cited to himself mentally as he stared at his dripping wet face in the mirror. What, is playing and chatting online not doing it for you anymore H2? Fuck, what did you have to go and do this to me? We had a perfectly good system in place! GODDAMNIT!
The longer he stared at his reflection, the more his anger shifted into self-loathing. He should be mad at H2 for asking a normal question, and he shouldn't be such a shut-in loser, either! But it was so damn easy to ask him to just...go out into the world, do what everyone else does. It sounded so easy, but it felt so hard…
As Kazuma dragged himself out of the bathroom, mind lost wondering how long it had been since his last meaningful interaction outside of…her, he entered his room and lazily glanced at his monitor. Unsurprisingly, Crimson and Knight had already expressed their enthusiasm over H2's request to meetup. Now there were a few lines of them asking for his thoughts on the matter followed by one or two repeats of asking if he was still there. Kazuma sighed through his nose before forcing himself to type…something, anything.
Satou: srry, bathroom emergency. What's up?
H2OwningU: Ah, there you are, Sat! Was getting worried I scared u off or something, lol! Anyway, we're wondering what you'd think of linking up irl?
Satou: ...I'm gonna be honest with you guys, because I think you deserve that much: I'm not good with people. Or socialization. Or...normal life stuff, I guess. I don't think a get together is a good idea, or at the very least I probably shouldn't attend it.
There was a pause in between the messages from his online buddies. A long pause, too long in fact, it'd already been a full two minutes since Kazuma decided to bite the bullet and come clean. The dreaded anticipation was far worse than whatever any one of them could come up with as a response. Truthfully, it didn't matter much to him what they had to say to his response, it was just the growing anxiety of waiting for them to say anything at all.
Just as Kazuma began lightly tugging at the roots of his hair, H2 generously supplied him with a message and he rapidly began reading it.
H2OwningU: Oh…wow, uh, I was not expecting that. I'm…really sorry to hear, Satou. I know that may sound superficial, but I truly mean it, I'm sorry. That being said, however, don't you think this could make for a great learning experience? Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that junk?
Kazuma stared at the message for several long seconds, his hands hovering over his keyboard. H2 was right, and he knew it. If he never took the chance, nothing would change. He'd still be stuck here, in this room, feeling just as lonely as he did before. The shot was worth taking...but did he have the courage to take it?
Darkest Knight: Satou, you and everyone else here have been nothing but kind, supportive, and understanding of me despite my…"likes". If you're worried that we might judge you in person, rest assured, we will do no such thing. You've been patient with our suboptimal gameplay, it's only fair we be patient with your social awkwardness. Take it from me, it is nothing to be ashamed of. And I'm a hopeless masochist for God's sake ; )
xXCrims0n_D3monXx: Yeah, Dark has a point man. You've been really cool about us being...well, us for a while now, so we get it. Hell, I have a childhood friend struggling with the same issue, you're not the only one out there. You can take as long as you need, no rush for our sakes.
Crimson bothering to use proper grammar and spelling? Kazuma thought to himself almost incredulously. Shit, that's a first. They must be really serious about this then, huh? Wouldn't mind learning more about their friend, too. It's at least nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like they're standard on an island.
Satou: Thank you guys, really. I've never really talked with anyone about my tendencies, I just kinda stew in them. Honestly...I wouldn't mind meeting with you all. If that's really something you three want to try, I'm willing to bite the bullet.
H2OwningU: HOORAY! Nature's Beauty to celebrate the next step in our friendship!
xXCrims0n_D3monXx: Glad to hear you're considering it, man. It wouldn't be the same without you there.
Darkest Knight: Crimson is right, we'd be disappointed if you couldn't make it. We know you have it in you, Satou, just believe in yourself! A tad cliché, I'm aware, but I believe the sentiment holds water in this instance.
Kazuma honestly felt warmed by the group's sentiments, despite the nerves that were still bundled in his chest. They wanted to hang out, and they wanted him there for it. He hadn't had real friends in years, let alone gone out on the town to meet anyone! Speaking of which…
Satou: Alright, so…if we're going to be doing this, where do we meetup? I'm actually not too familiar with my town on account of my…not going out a whole lot…
H2OwningU: Oh, Crimson suggested the café she uses for free wifi! We can send you the directions soon enough, but I think Crimson's about to get kicked out given the time-
xXCrims0n_D3monXx: shit manager gotta go send u an email h2!
xXCrims0n_D3monXx has logged off.
Darkest Knight: Oh dear. She's probably fine, yes?
Satou: Hope so.
H2OwingU: I'm sure she's fineeee. Crimson's a scrappy one, y'know!
Satou: Btw, since when did u two exchange contacts? Sometime before I logged in one session I presume?
H2OwningU: Yeah, actually! We logged on a bit early and just ended up swapping contacts. Figured it might be useful in the future, right?
Satou: Huh. Yeah, I guess so.
H2OwningU: Speaking of which...fork it over, the both of you! Emails and/or phone numbers! We're all stayin in contact now while we set this up!
Darkest Knight: Uuu, I've never done something this risky before…but, if it means getting the chance to meet you all in person…very well. But a moment…
Satou: Same, gimme a sec to grab the essentials.
Over the next few minutes, Kazuma and his online pals exchanged contact information and went their separate ways for the night, with the shut-in gamer continuing to grind solo quests for the next raid they'd participate in. Soon enough, he got an address from H2 over his email. Apparently, the current date they had set was Friday next week.
Tabbing out of the game real quick, Kazuma logged the upcoming event in his desktop calendar. For a brief moment, the young man stared intently at the screen, transfixed on the date he'd set up for himself; a blip in the empty sea that was his current life represented by an otherwise barren calendar. It used to be filled with all sorts of urgent reminders and due dates back when he still attended school. He'd thought clearing up his miserable workload would bring a sense of freedom and relief, but looking at it now? It merely brought him a new sense of despair he'd become too used to by now…
This is good for me. One way or another, something will come of this meeting. He thought to himself, closing the calendar and, after a few beats, the game as well. While he was anxious beyond belief, he had to believe that this was going to end well. Otherwise, he'd drive himself nuts, and that wasn't going to help anyone. It's a meet up at a café. Even I couldn't screw that up, right?
With that…hopefully optimistic thought in mind, Kazuma nearly collapsed into his bed, not realizing just how tired he really was until he made contact with the inviting pillows and blankets. Wrapping himself up, he closed his eyes and, in one of those rare instances of merciful gratitude, found himself in an easy sleep in spite of his unchecked insomnia. A good omen he would think to himself when waking up the following morning.
A week passed like no time at all, and suddenly the day of reckoning arrived. After a few more check-ins both in game and over email, they agreed to meet at the café at noon for lunch. Kazuma's morning had been spent finding something a bit more...presentable than his usual green jumpsuit. After a few hours, he'd manage to instead settle on a dark green hoodie, grey t-shirt, and jeans.
Kazuma contemplated a bit too long over whether or not he should brush his teeth but finally settled on combing his ratty hair instead. He'd be eating at the café, anyway, brushing his teeth seemed kinda pointless. Still, sweating over the fine details, Kazuma figured he would make a quick pit stop over by the convenience store and pick up some minty gum. He didn't want to ruin his first impression in, well, years by having bad breath and making them think he was a slob. He'd never live it down otherwise.
As he descended the stairs for the moment of truth, however, he ran into the one thing he had forgotten to plan on. That being his mother and father, standing in the adjoining hallway and having a muted discussion, likely about him. However, they both fell silent as they noticed him, turning to look at him with those same, hopelessly disappointed eyes he'd come to expect at this point.
It was the world's most uncomfortable stare-off between son and parents. For a while, it seemed both parties didn't know what to say or how to say it. Kazuma usually did his best to limit his encounters with his mom and dad as much as humanly possible, often skipping out on dinner and subsisting off leftovers in the dead of night. Prolonged contact with them such as this was an avoided rarity, sad as that fact was. However, given the...unexpected developments brewing over on Kazuma's end, he felt he owed it to them to at least try and explain what he was doing.
It was the least he could do for being such a disappointment to his family…
"H-hi, Mom. Hi Dad…" he mumbled in a reserved tone.
"Good morning, son." His father replied numbly, sending a simple nod his way with a blank expression. However, as he seemed to take in the young man's appearance, he raised an eyebrow and adapted a more inquisitive tone. "You seem to be rather put together on this day. What has sparked this newfound cleanliness?"
Ignoring the hurtful implications of his father taking his own son for an unapologetic slob (which was admittedly fair to a degree), Kazuma rubbed the back of his neck and averted looking into his eyes. "Well, uh…I've been playing with this group of people online for a while now. W-we seem to click really well together so we figured we'd…schedule to meetup for lunch?"
He didn't need to see their expressions, to feel the doubt, the confusion. Didn't want to, either. However, after a few seconds he raised his head and realized that while some doubt was still present, there was the slightest shine of surprise in their eyes, paired with the smallest of smiles on both of their faces.
"Oh…well, that's…that's nice to hear, Kazuma," said his mother, mulling over her words as she spoke. "Do you, um…have your phone on you?"
"Uh...yeah. Yeah, I have it." Kazuma managed after a second, nodding in confirmation as he took another step down towards the ground floor. "I promise to be home in time for dinner, and before dark. Do you...want me to keep you updated while I'm out?"
"It certainly wouldn't hurt," his father said plainly, arms crossed as he hid his true feelings over a mask of neutral indifference. "Perhaps you could send us a picture while you're at it. Would be nice to know who you've gotten yourself tangled up with online."
Again, while the words were less than sympathetic, Kazuma couldn't really fault his father for the sentiment. Meet ups with people online didn't always go as planned, he knew that much from the internet alone. Still, he nodded all the same and started for the door while replying.
"I will. I'll try not to be gone too long…l-love you…"
"We love you too, Kazuma." His mother replied after a beat, allowing Kazuma to be silently grateful since the exchange sounded genuine for the first time in years. No pre-practiced, forced dialogue. Just...a genuine farewell before he left for the day.
With a subtle, delayed nod in return, Kazuma closed the front door behind him and put his hand to his chest, sighing heavily in the process. So many things were running through his mind at rapid speed that it started to make his head spin a little. However, he lightly smacked both his cheeks and decided to sort out his thoughts later. Pulling out his phone, Kazuma copy & pasted the directions to the café into Google Maps and groaned slightly when he realized how long of a walk it would be.
Figures. Guess it's the bus for me.
Thirty minutes later, after both stopping at the convenience store and riding over on the bus, Kazuma stood outside of the café, gripped by a final, silent wave of anxiety. This was it, ride or die time. He was going to finally meet his online friends, and to be honest...he was kinda terrified. Still, deep down he knew there was already no going back, and with that thought in mind...he entered.
He was greeted by the standard pleasantries typical of any eating establishment. With a half-hearted wave, Kazuma scanned the rows of tables and seats, not particularly sure what he was supposed to be looking out for exactly. He double-checked the time and address. This was the right place alright.
H2 probably should've been more specific on what to do next, He thought to himself before his eyes were suddenly drawn to the backend of a black laptop, one that was practically littered with both Japanese and American pop culture stickers. He was only able to tell it was black underneath from the few gaps the stickers didn't cover all the way. As Kazuma carefully stepped closer, he got a good look at the owner: a young girl, roughly a year or two younger than him from the looks of it. She had brown hair, red eyes (probably contacts), and wore a choker, leather jacket, skirt, and combat boots.
If Kazuma had to sum up their appearance in one word? Chuunibyou.
Taking a moment to weigh his options of just how to approach the girl, including the fact that there was a chance she wasn't who he thought she was. Still, fortune favored the bold and all that, so with so trepidation he walked over to the table she was sitting at and lightly rapped his knuckles on the wood.
"Crimson?"
Jumping ever so slightly, the girl removed her fingers from the keyboard and looked over to Kazuma, wide red eyes blinking in surprise before she narrowed them. "Satou I presume?"
"Ah, yeah. That's me. Satou Kazuma." He confirmed awkwardly, before clearing his throat and managing what he hoped was a confident enough smile. "Nice to finally meet you in person."
It was only after Kazuma had formally introduced himself that "Crimson" let out a low, almost smug chuckle, making the reclusive teen both parts confused and anxious. However, the latter of these two emotions quickly evaporated when she struck what he assumed was supposed to be a dramatic pose and covered her face with her hand, separating her middle and ring finger to leave her left eye exposed.
"So, it would seem our meeting truly was preordained after all," She said in her best deep voice. "Tell me, o' denizen of cyberspace, are you prepared to hear my forbidden true name? A name that has driven many men and women to madness upon hearing it? A name that only the Chosen One prophesied to befriend the Spawn of the Crimson Hellfire can hear and live to tell the tale?"
"Ah...yes. I think." Kazuma managed with a bewildered grin, utterly confused by the girl's presentation, but unwilling to interrupt quite yet. She was clearly getting a kick out of it anyway. "So, what does the 'Spawn of Crimson Hellfire' go by?"
Said spawn actually faltered for the briefest of moments. It was almost as if she hadn't been expecting him to humor her with the theatrics. Nevertheless, Crimson cleared her throat, slammed her boot on the table, and bellowed to the heavens.
"I AM MEGUMIN! The last surviving member of the Crimson Demon race! She who will go on to reform her lost clan and show the world the true meaning of hell on Earth!"
"OI! MEGUMIN!" shouted what looked to be the manager of the café as he stuck his head out of the employee's room. "Get your feet off the table, people eat here!"
Flinching over the shout, Megumin quickly retracted her foot and shouted an apology in reply, before turning back to Kazuma and noticing he was trying his damndest not to laugh, crossing her arms and pouting over the realization.
"Shut up! They're kind enough to let me mooch off of their free Wi-Fi, okay?" Megumin grumbled, inadvertently causing Kazuma to snort at that and further souring her mood. "Not my fault Dad is strict with our income, what little we get anyway…"
"Alight, alright! I get your point, sorry for laughing." Kazuma apologized with a small smile, taking the seat across from her with one last amused chuckle. "I just really wasn't expecting such a show upon my arrival. Don't tell me you have that planned out for the others too?"
"Well…that was the idea, but I'd rather not risk pissing off the manager a second time in a row. So I might just give 'em a toned down introduction or something," Megumin answered with a nonchalant shrug. "Some say I'm chuuni, I see myself more as a free-spirit; a 'diet chuuni' if you will. I may be weird but I'm not that delusional."
"Mhm, noted for future reference." Kazuma quipped, before scratching his chin as he fumbled for a proper subject to discuss, like a normal person would. "How did you find this place? Just somewhere you always frequented, or did you just get attached after a good meal?"
"Came for the free Wi-Fi, stayed for the good food and service," Megumin supplied with a smile, resting her arms over the table and idly kicking her legs. She made conversing like a regular human look so easy. "In fact, I'm thinking about quitting my current part-time job and applying for a spot here. I come here so often that I might as well, right? Plus, if I work hard enough and become employee of the month, I'd have a stronger alibi for coming in to play games on my days off!"
"Makes sense to me. No harm in spending more time somewhere you like." Kazuma replied earnestly, despite his own track record. He could see where Megumin was coming from, and admired that she actually had the drive to do something. "Have the others reached out to you yet? I figured I was a bit early, but I didn't want to risk being late."
Before Megumin could get her words out, a new voice suddenly rang out, a particularly cheery and feminine one at that.
"No way! Are you guys who I think you guys are!?"
Megumin and Kazuma turned around to face the new voice, their gazes landing upon a girl about Kazuma's age who was beaming at the both of them with an utterly enthused smile. The most eye catching attribute that Kazuma noticed, of course, was her aqua-blue hair that seemed all too similar to a certain video game goddess.
"...H2?"
"Owning you!" The blue gyaru practically cheered, holding up peace signs in the process. "I take it you're Crimson and Satou from KonoSuba?"
"Ah...yeah, that's us." Kazuma confirmed and briefly cast a glance towards Megumin, questioning if she'd been expecting such a reveal. Judging by the equal amount of surprise on her face, I assumed not. "Well, I'm Satou Kazuma, and this one here...well, she'd probably prefer to introduce herself."
"…wha? O-oh! Yeah, right…" Megumin sputtered after a moment of stunned blinking. Once she got her act together, the young girl cleared her throat and leaned back in a cool pose, lowering her bangs to partially obscure her totally real crimson red eyes. "You may know me as 'Crimson' in the Digital Borderworld, but in this world I go by Megumin, Sole Remnant of the mighty Crimson Demon Clan. A pleasure to finally make your acquaintance in this base reality…"
Unlike Kazuma, H2 seemed entirely unphased by Megumin's eccentrics, giggling to herself before nodding and extending a hand to her expectantly.
"Funny and cute! You're a real delight, Megumin! I'm Mizu, nice to meet ya!"
"Wait a second...Mizu. As in water." Kazuma interjected, a look of disbelief evident on his face as he glanced between the two girls. "I...I actually don't know what to say to that, especially given the whole 'Aqua' thing."
"Yeah, I guess that's part of the reason why I felt so attached to the character. Just saw a bit of myself in her, y'know?" Mizu mused aloud before apparently coming to a realization of sorts as she snapped her fingers. "Say, what if I really am Aqua? Like, the very incarnation of the water goddess herself! You gotta admit, I do bear a strikingly uncanny resemblance to her with my hair dyed blue, don't I? If not, well…just wait till you see my full cosplay~"
"While I'll give you the resemblance part, I'm not sure I can entertain the notion that you're a water goddess." Kazuma deadpanned, slowly coming to terms with the fact that his online friends all seemed the slightest bit eccentric. "Still, you definitely fit the name. Aqua suits you a bit more than Mizu."
"You think so? Well, I suppose I have no choice but to take on the burden of standing in as the benevolent water goddess herself," Mizu, or rather "Aqua" joked as she plopped herself right next to Kazuma as though they were childhood friends. "Thanks for the compliment, Sat! And I thought you said you were bad at the socializing stuff~"
"Oh, it's a process, I assure you. I'm honestly doing better than I was expecting." Kazuma chuckled, leaning back in his seat and shaking his head slightly. What a group they were, and their final member hadn't even arrived yet. "Just waiting on Darkest now. Figure they'll show up any second now?"
With almost supernatural timing that made Kazuma briefly wonder if this was the work of a higher power, another individual had approached their table. She was tall, beautiful, blonde, and noticeably Caucasian, likely a foreigner from either the U.S. or Europe. Though Kazuma couldn't quite pinpoint any obvious accent when she soon introduced herself in fluent Japanese to the group.
"Um, hello there. I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but I believe that you three are the people I'm looking for." She greeted politely, fidgeting slightly in what Kazuma rightfully assumed to be nervousness. "You may know me as Darkest Knight from online?"
"Aw heck ya, now our party's complete!" Aqua cheered with a celebratory fist pump, turning to flash the newcomer with a pearly white smile. "H2OwningU, real name Mizu! But you can just call me Aqua like the goddess in the game. The others seem to think it suits me, and I don't blame them."
"I'm Satou Kazuma, or just Satou online. And this one is Megumin, or Crimson." Kazuma introduced, before noticing the look Megumin was shooting him and rolling his eyes. "Oh, c'mon. Were you really gonna do it three times? It feels a bit excessive."
"Hey, if I was going to tone it down for the manager's sake, the least I could do was give each of you guys a unique introduction," Megumin argued calmly while crossing her arms and leaning back into seat. "But you just had to go and throw a wrench into that plan. Thanks for cursing me with bad luck for not completing a set of threes."
"Didn't take you for the superstitious type, but I guess that's on me." Kazuma snorted, before taking in the surrounding group and cracking a small smile. This...definitely hadn't been what he was expecting, but he definitely wasn't upset either. So far, the three of them seemed just as cool as they did online, which was an obvious plus. Still, the question did remain. "So...now that we're all here, what's the game plan?"
"Well, the first step in this 'game plan' is to order something to eat," Megumin lightly snarked as the player behind Darkest Knight (How come she hasn't introduced herself yet?) quietly took a seat next to Aqua. "Of course, you're going to have to pay for your own meal. I'm poor so I have a solid reason to not foot the bill myself even though I invited you here."
"Oh, of course! No worries whatsoever!" Darkest replied eagerly, seemingly as polite as she was online as she nodded and took the last remaining seat. "If it is helpful, I would be happy to pay for your meals as well. It's no trouble at all, I assure you!"
Kazuma let out a low whistle. "Big spender are we? I can pay for my own food, Knight, it's fine. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think we ever got your real name. Please don't tell me it's somehow linked to your username like 'Water' over here."
"Ah, no. Not particularly." Darkest replied, clearing her throat was an awkward smile as she seemed to psych herself up to something. "And you don't have to refer to me as my username. My real name is...Lalatina Dustiness Ford."
A moment of silence passed over the group…
Until Kazuma accidentally let out a small snort.
"It's not funny!" The blonde woman cried out in despair, body going rigid and fists tightly clenched. "My father, God bless him, thought Lalatina would be a cute name for his little girl. But he failed to take into account that I would be stuck with it even into adulthood…"
"I mean...it's not so bad. You definitely could have gotten worse." Megumin chimed in, hiding her smile better than Kazuma did while keeping her tone earnest. "I mean, you could have been a Beatrice, or Matilda. There's always worse names out there than...t-than…"
Alas, even she wasn't immune to the infectious giggles coming from Aqua and promptly pursed her lips to keep her own noises of amusement in check. Meanwhile, Lalatina put her elbows up on the table and held her slowly rocking head.
"Honestly, gang, come on…even us masochists can only tolerate so much abuse. Oh, why didn't I come up with an alias beforehand?"
"Mhm, sorry Lala. This is just how it has to be." Aqua replied with another giggle, though it was less teasing than the cackles from the other two. After a few seconds, she snapped her fingers in realization. "Hey! Why don't we just...call you whatever you're comfortable with? I mean, since we've already agreed to just dub me Aqua for the hell of it."
"Oh, OH! I have a suggestion!" Megumin called out, sitting up straight with an excited gleam in her eyes. "How about 'Darkness', to reflect both your nickname and your darkest desires? A fitting and edgy nickname I'd say!"
While Kazuma restrained a scoff over the silliness of the name at first, he noticed that Lalatina did actually look a bit intrigued with the prospect, her blue eyes having lit up with interest as she seemed to mull it over.
"I'm…actually quite partial to Darkness as a nickname," She mused to herself before nodding and smiling at the subdued chuuni. "Thank you, Megumin. Henceforth, I shall work under the moniker of D-Darkness! Did, uh, that delivery sound befitting of a crusader?"
"Not the worst nickname in the world. Looks like you picked yourself a winner, Darkness." Kazuma congratulated with a small smile and nod to the woman, before turning to the others and lacing his hands together. "So, any recommendations on the menu, Megumin?"
After sorting out some of the girl's favorite options to choose from, the group soon flagged down a waitress and began ordering their respective lunches. Once that matter was settled, Aqua rested her chin in her hands and leaned over the table expectantly.
"So, Sat, seeing as how you're our de facto 'leader', why not tell us a little about yourself first? You've been on a roll with making conversation so far, let's try to keep that ball rolling."
"Oh, well...fair is fair I guess. Can't say I'm all that interesting, though." Kazuma replied with an embarrassed shrug, eyes flicking to the table below for a moment. "As you guys know, I'm not a particularly social being, so a lot of my freetime goes to games, like KonoSuba."
"Well, you certainly have good taste, that's a plus," Megumin encouraged with a light nudge to the shoulder. "What else are you into?"
"I try to play a few different games, genre wise and such. It also depends on what interests me at the time." Kazuma answered earnestly, allowing himself to relax a little now that the topic had shifted to something he could talk about more freely. "As of late, I've really been into MMOs or RPGs, but I've branched out in the past. Last month I was hooked on a game called Alien Swarm, it was really fun."
"Mmm, I don't believe I've ever heard of that particular title. It sounds interesting," Darkness commented politely while folding her arms comfortably atop the table. "My only experience with RPGs is with the Fallout series. I like to think V.A.T.S. have spoiled me since I can barely play without abusing the feature. But, in my defense, I mainly play games for the story rather than the gameplay. KonoSuba was the exception thanks to Chris."
"Hey, I think the Fallout series is great! It's the perfect blend of in-game story and compelling combat systems, pretty damn fun all around if you ask me." Kazuma agreed with a small smile, tilting his head curiously. "Say, I've been meaning to ask, who exactly does your friend do voice work for in KonoSuba? I've never looked at the credits before, and I'm curious at this point."
"Oh, she's the voice of the game's main goddess character; Eris, I believe her name was," Darkness supplied with a tap of the chin before taking note of Kazuma's bewildered expression. "Is there something wrong, Satou-san?"
"Ah...no, not at all. Just surprised, that's all." Kazuma managed after a moment, shaking his head and chuckling at this thoroughly unexpected news. "She's actually probably my favorite character in the game, so...wow. That's pretty awesome!"
"Eh, I personally think she's overrated…" Aqua mumbled half-heartedly. "But, of course, whenever I say that online, people gang up on me and tell me I'm wrong. I'm sorry, but I'm an Aqua fangirl for life! I'm making a cultural stand!"
"Relax, no one's dissing Aqua! She's great too, just a little...underdeveloped, compared to Eris." Kazuma refuted, huffing at the offended gasp that followed. "I mean, character wise, Aqua's kind of a one-off right now. Outside of her city, she doesn't really have that much bearing on the story. Eris is a central piece of the puzzle, y'know?"
"Yeah, only because the writer for the game is biased and she's the fan favorite," Aqua moodily grumbled, looking emotionally drained for once just from the discussion alone. "Look, don't get me wrong, I like Eris just as much as anyone else, there's no reason not to. But let's face it: the girl gets way too much attention, and other characters that I like more get little to no development as a consequence. Doesn't that seem a little…off-balanced to you?"
"I mean...I guess? I've never really thought of it that way, honestly." Kazuma replied, cupping his chin in consideration. "Maybe I just never noticed because I like Eris so much. Come to think of it, I guess the rest of the other main NPCs could use some more work in the story department...huh."
"That's all I'm trying to get across. But fans in the community just don't want to hear what I have to say," Aqua sighed with a small nod. "I'm tired of hearing everyone talk smack about my favorite character – even when it's admittedly justified – while simultaneously praising the 'best girl'. It puts fans like me in a weird place, y'know? By the way, that reminds me, thanks for not being one of those elitists when I first told you who my fav was. I appreciate it, Sat."
"No problem at all, H2. I've never really understood the whole divide anyhow." Kazuma replied with a small shrug, waving his hand dismissively. "I mean, I don't think the game has a single bad character, just ones that aren't quite fleshed out yet. Considering the developers said something about more content in the future, I still think it's likely characters like Aqua will get their time to shine."
The blue gyaru smiled sweetly at Kazuma, unintentionally making his heart race in his chest due to his prior shut-in tendencies. "Yeah…I certainly hope so…"
"Meanwhile, Demon King General fans like me are out here vibing," Megumin snorted with a cheeky look as she leaned back in her seat. She cracked an eye open to see Aqua glaring daggers at her and added, "But for real, try not to let the hate get to you so much. Like whatever character you want to like for whatever reason. Doesn't bother me."
"How very apt, Megumin. I must concur." Darkness chimed in with a warm smile, nodding in agreement to the younger girl across the table. "Why spoil the fun for others? Everyone should be allowed to enjoy whatever it is they like, instead of being criticized endlessly over characters in a game."
"I know, right!? At the end of the day, these aren't even real people we're talking about. They're fictional characters that just have flaws and junk that makes them human!" Aqua supplied enthusiastically. "You know, I had a feeling you guys were secretly a bunch of smarties. I'm glad to know I was right as per usual!"
"First and only time I've been referred to as a smarty. Gotta savor this moment as long as I can." Kazuma snarked, earning a small ripple of laughter from the surrounding girls, one that gradually tapered off as the waitress returned with their food. "Alright, looks like you weren't kidding, Megumin! Shall we dig in?"
The girls didn't need to be told twice, and frankly, it seemed like they were all hungry at this point. For the next two hours or so, the four ate, and talked, and really did just...hang out without the slightest hint of awkwardness. Kazuma could hardly believe it, but he couldn't be happier with it either. Eventually, however, his phone buzzed, and he checked to see who had texted him. It was his mother asking how everything was going and if he could send that picture they mentioned earlier.
"Hey, guys?" Kazuma asked aloud, causing the three girls to pause their eating and turn to look at him expectantly. That was only going to make what he was about to ask next all the more awkward. "Um…I don't know how else to put this in a way that doesn't make me sound like an ultimate, no-life loser but…would you mind if I took a group photo of us so I can send it to my parents? We, uh, kinda grew apart a little after I dropped out and they probably wanna make sure I wasn't lying about going out to socialize so…y-yeah."
"Oh, sure! I'm totally down!" Aqua chimed in damn near instantly, the bright smile on her face never faltering as she nodded exuberantly, before turning to the others. "What about you guys? A picture to commemorate the occasion would be pretty cool regardless, right?"
"Only if you share that pic with me," Megumin said with a stern expression while pointing at Kazuma. Her tough girl façade was quick to melt away the moment she let her smirk show. "Wouldn't be fair otherwise."
"Agreed, it's only fair." Darkness agreed with a soft chuckle, before nodding to Kazuma. "I'd be delighted to take a picture with all of you. Is there anything in particular you had in mind, Kazuma-san?"
Still reeling from the fact that his new…friends were enthusiastic over the proposition, Kazuma pulled up the camera app on his phone as he thought of an answer. "Uh…I guess whatever you want? So long as your faces are visible."
Nodding, all three girls assumed their respective poses, with Aqua flashing a pair of peace signs as Darkness opted for a simple wave, with Megumin in the center showing off an edgy, extra pose that coaxed a soft chuckle from Kazuma as he snapped the picture. He sent it to those three first before sending it to his mother with the assurance he was having a great time.
"Thanks for agreeing to do this," Kazuma mumbled bashfully as he resumed his meal. "You know, I almost forgot how good hanging out felt. Guess I got lucky finding you guys. I don't know why but I feel like we just…mesh well together, you know?"
"Indeed! It was a pleasant surprise for me as well!" Darkness replied, glancing amongst the assembled friends and beaming. "I wasn't certain if we would work quite as well together as we did online, but I'm more than happy to have been wrong."
"Yeah, we should totally do this more often! Oh, and play more games together of course!" Aqua cheered with stars in her eyes. "Just a group of like-minded gamers coming together to become good friends! They should make an anime out of that…"
"I'd watch it, sounds like a blast." Megumin snorted, though the smile on her face was just as bright and genuine as the rest of us. "Seriously, though, I'm glad we did this too. It's nice to have some in person company every now and again, y'know?"
"So…I guess that's it then?" Kazuma asked boldly. "We're officially our own little group now? Like I said, I've been out of the loop when it comes to making friends and shit, so I want to make sure there's no misunderstandings here."
"Oh yeah, it's official. No getting rid of us now." Aqua assured him with a giggle, bumping his shoulder playfully. "We're friends for life now, online and off. Again, no take backs."
"I don't know whether I should feel flattered or scared right now…" Kazuma deadpanned.
"Oh, what's a little fear between friends?" Megumin snarked, shooting the young man a set of dual finger guns and a smirk. "I can break out my meme drive, if it makes you feel safer."
"Do not," Kazuma answered earnestly. "I feel like if I view the source of those damned things directly, my eyeballs will melt."
Another round of chuckles followed, and Kazuma allowed himself to laugh along because, frankly, he saw this little get together as a total success. He was thrilled beyond belief that it had gone this well, and beyond that...to actually have friends for a change. It was nice, knowing that he had people he could just talk to, without any threat of anxiety or fear.
It was then that Kazuma's phone buzzed, causing him to discreetly check his messages. Another text from his mother after he sent her the group photo…
Mom: I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!