Chapter 97
Scarlett went out to the stables in her riding habit. She had only then bought a new one and after telling Rosemary that she was going to go out riding, she didn't wait for a reply but simply left the house as fast as she could. The horse was ready and he seemed to be a gentle beast. She climbed up and led the horse in a little trot to the gate at the back of the house. From there she took a narrow lane that led back to the road on the Battery.
She rode the horse down the long road until she came to an open ground from where she could catch a lovely glimpse of the sea. She saw the ships that dotted the horizon and the small fishing boats. Then as she left the more familiar roads and pulled off in her own path, she made the horse gallop faster. And with the speed of the animal, she relaxed well enough to bring her own movement at one with the horse. Now she was really travelling. All she could see was a whirl of houses, trees, a clear blue sky and the sun.
It was she who was running now and yet there were no shadows. There was nothing reaching for her from the mist. She wasn't heading towards any person. Just one turn and she saw a farm with a garden by it. Just another swerve down the path and she came to a brook. A little while and she was back on the road and there was a park full of lawns and a statue with a fountain. She could be as spontaneous as she wanted to be and the horse took her along according to her every whim.
Every turn brought about new sights and new avenues. She was running and yet she wasn't trapped or afraid. The horse leapt over a little fence and she sailed along with confidence. She felt a surge of freedom rushing through her.
She had often searched for hope in others. But here was hope- at every turn, around every corner- another reason to live for. She always had hope. It only need some freedom to grow stronger and come alive!
When Scarlett returned to the house, it was nearly afternoon. Rhett wasn't at home and Scarlett felt relieved. Most of her anger was gone now. She felt cheerful and even a little energetic as she walked back into the house. The ride had brought back the colour in her cheeks and a distinct vigour in her stride.
Although Rhett came back that evening, Scarlett mostly avoided his company. Now she decided to read the book which Rhett had carelessly tossed into her hands and she often sat with Rosemary after dinner to learn how to write a note or a summary. When she could not learn as fast as she thought, Scarlett decided to forgo the dessert after every meal. She made up different excuses and no one really seemed to notice this. But since the deserts were often very tempting in the Butler household, this was truly a sacrifice on Scarlett's part just to gain some knowledge and put it to good use.
At first, she had keenly expected Rhett to apologize to her. But he ignored her completely and she never went to see him. They never went out together. But when Scarlett began to read more often, she found she did not mind Rhett ignoring her. She found a strange relief in not rushing to him or pouring out her troubles to him. She had handled herself very well. A little horseback riding everyday set her straight. She was happier now and she saw pleasant days ahead when she could be useful to Rosemary and Old Mrs. Butler.
She went out often with Wade and Ella too. In fact, she seemed to take pleasure in slowing off her good relations with her children. This was a happiness she had honestly worked for and she didn't mind being a little indulgent once in a while.
Yet during her idle moments, she began to imagine Rhett worrying over why she so blatantly avoided him. He didn't leave off somewhere to some strange country so she figured he was still interested in her. She imagined him coming to her, trying to bait her in some way with clever words- Perhaps he would be envious of her. Perhaps he would suddenly fly into a rage and demand some explanation from her. But she was prepared for everything. She wouldn't lose her temper like she did before and she also wouldn't let him lead her on. Instead she would mince her words and be as blunt with him as possible.
She would even throw an ultimatum that she would indeed leave him, now that she didn't need him anymore. But this she saved for last. Surely Rhett would shed some tears to see the kind of woman he would be losing. Surely her recent efforts ought to put her in a more favourable light. She imagined Mrs. Butler rising to her aid, commanding her son to listen to his wife and to love her. Surely Rhett would stop being so impulsive then. And surely Wade and Ella would ask for Rhett to come home with them. All these things stood in her favour and she wouldn't bend her ear even a little to ever listen to Rhett's impudent talk ever again. Not until she had the pleasure of inflicting the same pain on him!
As she sat in the library every evening with Rosemary, her confidence grew higher and higher. It was at its peak when she finally finished her first summary of Shakespeare's play and it had been a great achievement for her. Mrs. Butler appreciated her and Scarlett basked in her affection. She had missed every dessert just to discipline herself and yesterday had been the worst when she had refused Turkish delight. She rued over that opportunity but this was worth it. She was worth it and she could do anything she put her mind to.
She was smiling to herself when she saw Rhett beside her. Before she could move away, he opened his hand and there was the smallest of bonbons in his palm. Scarlett nearly laughed out loud at the puny sweet and without thinking, she haughtily took it and popped it in her mouth. Then she frowned and glowered at Rhett whose face was suspiciously blank. Had he noticed that she had been giving up on sweets? Was he appreciating her? Why didn't he say anything about her literary attempt?
This little sweet couldn't be some kind of bait could it? She glanced warily at Rhett met her glance with innocence and gave a sudden grin. Scarlett froze up at once and half snatching her summary, she went out of the room.
Let Rhett just try and get back in her favour- She would prove to him that she didn't need him anymore!.