Chapter 106

"A ball?" asked Scarlett, some days later when Rhett tossed the card on the side-table. She picked up the ivory card with embellished letters eagerly. "It couldn't be like the balls we had in Atlanta before the war, could it?!"

"Its tradition, Scarlett. Our annual ball- why don't you pick out the waltzes that you want to dance and I'll be there when the time comes-" Rhett had spoken offhandedly but Scarlett was thrilled.

"Then it will be just like the old times!" she cried in pleasure. "Oh, I simply must have a new dress-"

"Pick out the waltz, madam- If you forget, I may not show up at the dance at all."

"Oh Rhett, how can you be so tiresome. Why should I decide now which waltz I must dance to? I am not a young belle being courted by many beaus. I am not sixteen! Can't we simply decide then and there?"

"Decide now."

"Oh, all right. It takes the excitement out of everything!" Scarlett complained but she quickly scanned the contents and picked out the dances she liked best. but even as she made the markings in ink, she could sense that something was off - as if she had a faint foreshadowing that events might not unfold as she would like them to. She gazed in Rhett's direction. He usually went along with whatever she suggested and she knew that he had energy enough to dance many dances, even if he was getting on in age. This planning was unlike Rhett. It gave her an irksome feeling."

Her eyes unwillingly diverted to Rhett, wondering if he would keep his word since she was now committing to these dances but then she told herself that she was being rather silly. Still, she could not shake away that feeling.

When she sat at her own desk, she realized that perhaps it was time she wrote to Mrs. Finch. She remembered her kindly face and welcome guidance and decided to write a few lines to her.

A week before the ball, Scarlett received reply from Mrs. Finch. As she had expected Mrs. Finch readily rejoiced in her change in situation and encouraged her to oblige Rhett in whatever way he wanted as long as it was fair to her. And as to her hints of the change in Rhett's behaviour, Mrs. Finch only asked her not to fade away and become a wallflower.

Again, this puzzled Scarlett for she had never thought herself possible of fading away into any background. She did not have that self-effacing manner that Melanie had and everyone who knew her told her that she was will full and stubborn. So, she dismissed those words and began to be more at ease with the preparations to the ball.

When the day finally arrived, Scarlett entered the elegant ballroom wearing an evening gown styled in the latest trends from Paris with festoons of flowers along the back of her dress and a lace collar about her neck. The green emeralds in her earbobs sparkled in the light from the chandelier. She was in the matron circle but she resisted acting like one as much as possible. And she tried her best to draw Rosemary from that dreary crowd.

The balls at Charleston were more subdued and elegant than the ones she had attended in Atlanta. The music was rather subdued too. But the dancers were more graceful and there was warm bonhomie in the air. But that nagging feeling never seemed to give any peace to Scarlett. As she stared at her programme sheet, she wondered once again why Rhett could not be spontaneous. This prior marking of dances seemed so very unlike him.

She felt as if she were in a cage- entrapped by the wishes of her huband.

Then suddenly, unbiddingly, her mind went back to when her own father, who never gave a thought to Ellen had shoved so many responsibilities on her on the management of the plantation. What if this was the start of something like that?

Suddenly she saw herself like her Mother, going about the management of her family and slaves, tired but never complaining, upset but never shirking, sad but never stepping out from that rut and Scarlett felt the entire ballroom dipping in brightness and beauty.

She felt herself growing uneasy and just as she thought to taking a stroll down the room, the next waltz was announced. It was the waltz that she had promised to Rhett.

At that moment, she had a wild plan. She set the programme down and pretended to turn to Rosemary with a laugh. She would pretend to have forgotten all about the dance and Rhett seeing her engaged with his sister, he would naturally come to fetch her and then everything will be all right.

Scarlett began talking delightedly to Rosemary and as she had hoped Rhett shot her a long look from across the room. But instead of approaching her, just for a flash, a look of anger flashed across his face and then that awful look of amusement and contempt. Scarlett realized in horror that he was not planning to approach her at all. Oh, how could she have been so foolish?!

She quickly rose to her feet but Rhett had already turned away. The other dancers slowly walked to the centre of the room and Scarlett, desperate to correct her mistake, tried her best to catch Rhett's eye. But he deliberately buried himself in a group of men - young and old, who were in conversation.

Scarlett's step faltered and she felt an unusual weariness steal over her. Then she remembered Mrs. Finch's words. She was fading into the background like a wallflower. Not because she was plain or scatterbrained. But because she was so very afraid.

Then suddenly she began to move forward. The dance was about to begin and Scarlett was walking towards the men at the other end of the ballroom. Her hands trembled but she pressed on what seemed like a journey across a desert. When she arrived at the group, they all turned to her in surprise and thinly veiled disapproval.

"Well, Mr. Butler, this is our dance-" said Scarlett, in a voice that seemed high and unnatural to her. She cleared her throat and tried to smile. Rhett's face was entirely blank and he stood as if he did not care about anything at all. The other men looked extremely uncomfortable for it was not proper for a lady to propose the dance to a gentleman. Even if the gentleman were her own husband.

Scarlett laughed lightly, recovering her charm. "Gentlemen, I know this all seems strange and against your customs but I made a rather silly mistake right now. I had promised to dance this waltz with my husband and when the moment came, I was unsure. And now I realize I was wrong and I do want to have a good time."

The men looked at Rhett who was staring directly at her. He eyed her from head to toe but Scarlett wasn't sure if it was out of contempt or anger.

The waltz had begun.

Seeing this was turning into an uncomfortable, embarrassing situation for Scarlett, one of the younger men nodded to the other and a young man, dressed smartly in the latest fashion, stepped up and offered his arm to Scarlett. She bowed to him but turned her eyes on Rhett who seemed to be brooding. "Its all right. If Mr. Butler doesn't want to oblige this waltz, I will walk back to my place. I only wanted to show him that it was all right, even if ..it is a little late-"

The look on the men's faces turned to bewilderment and in those moments of silence, Rhett unwillingly looked at Scarlett again.

Something strange happened.

Something she never thought would ever happen to her.

She felt her eyes glowing softer and calling out to him. Her face tilted slightly in a tired yet beckoning tone. Here was Rhett, appearing so powerful and yet how powerless he seemed in the matters of the heart. But she would make everything seem good. She would make him look powerful too. She was the only one who could. She was the only one who could give him that place of belonging, if he only wished to listen to her.

He stared at her in the shock of recognition and quickly looked away. Then taking a swift breath, he suddenly walked toward her and led her to the dance.

She could not meet his eyes for she was frightened. When she did look at him, she found that he was having the same trouble. But they were alike weren't they?

"This is a fine waltz, isn't it?" she asked, demurely.

"It is" he replied, his voice oddly forced and rather crude. There was a mix of emotion of his face. He was angry and yet he was also relieved. He looked as if he were frightened too but he was holding himself back.