Chapter 4
Four pov.
"I still think Four should read chapter four." Zeke says still amused over this joke.
I roll my eyes. "Not happening." There isn't a real reason for my refusal but I am not going to give in that quickly.
"Next book." Zeke promises.
I'll think about it.
Andrew offers to read and takes the book.
"BIOTECHNOLOGY HAS BEEN around for a long time, but it wasn't always very effective," Caleb says. He starts on the crust of his toast—he ate the middle first, just like he used to when we were little.
"Your brother is crazy." Uriah states. Tris shrugs.
"You two are like polar opposites." says Marlene.
They share the Erudite trait but they use it in completely different ways. He uses it to learn and study everything and hers appears as genuine curiosity. So I can't say I disagree they really are like polar opposites. Excluding their habit of curiosity.
He sits across from me in the cafeteria, at the table closest to the windows. Carved into the wood along the table's edge are the letters "D" and "T" linked together by a heart, so small I almost didn't see them. I run my fingers over the carving as Caleb speaks.
"But Erudite scientists developed this highly effective mineral solution a while back. It was better for the plants than dirt," he says. "It's an earlier version of that salve they put on your shoulder—it accelerates the growth of new cells."
Zeke groans "I didn't know we'd be getting a history lesson, or is it science. Whatever it is, make it stop." Everyone laughs. I roll my eyes at him but then join into the laughter.
His eyes are wild with new information. Not all the Erudite are power hungry and devoid of conscience, like their leader, Jeanine Matthews. Some of them are like Caleb: fascinated by everything, dissatisfied until they find out how it works.
Yeah but the ones in power are the bad type of Erudite. Even if there are good people in the faction, it's typically the awful ones that are power hungry enough to go for those positions, and that creates the problems.
I rest my chin on my hand and smile a little at him. He seems upbeat this morning. I am glad he has found something to distract him from his grief.
"So Erudite and Amity work together, then?" I say.
"More closely than Erudite and any other faction," he says. "Don't you remember from our Faction History book? It called them the 'essential factions'—without them, we would be incapable of survival. Some of the Erudite texts called them the 'enriching factions.' And one of Erudite's missions as a faction was to become both—essential and enriching."
"I think he is a textbook." Shauna states rolling her eyes.
It doesn't sit well with me, how much our society needs Erudite to function. But they are essential—without them, there would be inefficient farming, insufficient medical treatments, and no technological advance.
I bite my apple.
"You aren't going to eat your toast?" he says.
"The bread tastes strange," I say. "You can have it if you want."
"All the serum they put in that stuff." Max says, shaking his head.
"I'm amazed by how they live here," he says as he takes the toast from my plate. "They're completely self-sustaining. They have their own source of power, their own water pumps, their own water filtration, their own food sources…. They're independent."
Maybe if all the factions were more like that we wouldn't have so much dependency on the others. But it would probably disrupt whatever balance there is -if there is any. And for some reason the other factions have no interest in this.
"Independent," I say, "and uninvolved. Must be nice."
It is nice, from what I can tell. The large windows beside our table let in so much sunlight I feel like I'm sitting outside. Clusters of Amity sit at the other tables, their clothes bright against their tanned skin. On me the yellow looks dull.
"So I take it Amity wasn't one of the factions you had an aptitude for," he says, grinning.
Tris snorts "Not even close."
"No." The group of Amity a few seats away from us bursts into laughter. They haven't even glanced in our direction since we sat down to eat. "Keep it down, all right? It's not something I want to broadcast."
It should never be broadcasted. Ever. It will do nothing but create problems, and we have enough of them as it is.
"Sorry," he says, leaning over the table so that he can talk quieter. "So what were they?"
I feel myself tensing, straightening. "Why do you want to know?"
This triggers alarm bells in my head. It could be curiosity, he is Erudite. But something about this just feels wrong. Maybe it's just because they are discussing divergence I tell myself.
"Tris," he says, "I'm your brother. You can tell me anything."
Family doesn't always mean something Caleb. But I guess I have no right to say that.
His green eyes never waver. He's abandoned the useless spectacles he wore as a member of Erudite in favor of an Abnegation gray shirt and their trademark short haircut. He looks just as he did a few months ago, when we were living across the hall from each other, both of us considering switching factions but not brave enough to tell one another. Not trusting him enough to tell him was a mistake I do not want to make again.
"Abnegation, Dauntless," I say, "and Erudite."
"Three factions?" His eyebrows lift.
"Yes. Why?"
"It just seems like a lot," he says. "We each had to choose a research focus in Erudite initiation, and mine was the aptitude test simulation, so I know a lot about the way it's designed. It's really difficult for a person to get two results—the program actually doesn't allow it. But to get three … I'm not even sure how that's possible."
Why would he choose to study the aptitude test? Stop it Tobias. You're being paranoid.
"Well, the test administrator had to alter the test," I say. "She forced it to go to that situation on the bus so that she could rule out Erudite—except Erudite wasn't ruled out."
Caleb props his chin on a fist. "A program override," he says. "I wonder how your test administrator knew how to do that. It's not something they're taught."
Tori rolls her eyes. "It's not that hard. You just need to learn how to do it. I bet Four could learn it easily."
"He probably could." Max agrees.
I frown. Tori was a tattoo artist and an aptitude test volunteer—how did she know how to alter the aptitude test program? If she was good with computers, it was only as a hobby, and I doubt that a computer hobby would enable someone to fiddle with an Erudite simulation.
Then something from one of my conversations with her surfaces. My brother and I both transferred from Erudite.
"She was Erudite," I say. "A faction transfer. Maybe that's how."
"Maybe," he says, tapping his fingers—from left to right—against his cheek. Our breakfasts sit, almost forgotten, between us. "What does this mean about your brain chemistry? Or anatomy?"
"That would have been considered a strange question for anybody other than an Erudite." Shauna states.
I have never thought about it. I guess it doesn't really matter. Well to anybody who isn't Erudite.
I laugh a little. "I don't know. All I know is that I'm always aware during simulations, and sometimes I can wake myself up from them. Sometimes they don't even work. Like the attack simulation."
"How do you wake yourself up from them? What do you do?"
"I …" I try to remember. I feel like it has been a long time since I was in one, though it was only a few weeks. "It's hard to say, because the Dauntless simulations were supposed to end when we had calmed down. But in one of mine … the one where Tobias figured out what I was … I just did something impossible. I broke glass just by putting my hand on it."
"I think all divergents have a different way of doing it." I whisper to her.
"Makes sense." she says nodding. I might ask her more about that later. I'm kind of curious as to what her full thoughts are.
Caleb's expression becomes distant, like he is looking into faraway places. Nothing like what I just described ever happened to him in the aptitude test simulation, I know. So maybe he is wondering what it felt like, or how it's possible. My cheeks grow warmer—he is analyzing my brain like he would analyze a computer or a machine.
I almost want to laugh. Good luck with that. Tris is way too unpredictable for that.
"Hey," I say. "Come back."
"Sorry," he says, focusing on me again. "It's just …"
"Fascinating. Yeah, I know. You always look like someone's sucked the life right out of you when something fascinates you."
He laughs.
"Can we talk about something else, though?" I say. "There may not be any Erudite or Dauntless traitors around, but it still feels weird, talking about it in public like this."
"All right."
"Why is it weird to talk about?" Marlene asks.
"Because it's generally not something you talk about. The point that it's dangerous usually keeps it quiet." Natalie explains.
Before he can go on, the cafeteria doors open, and a group of Abnegation come in. They wear Amity clothes, like me, but also like me, it's obvious what faction they are really in. They are silent, but not somber—they smile at the Amity they pass, inclining their heads, a few of them stopping to exchange pleasantries.
"The abnegation are obvious no matter what clothing they are in," Will states.
Susan sits down next to Caleb with a small smile. Her hair is pulled back in its usual knot, but her blond hair shines like gold. She and Caleb sit just slightly closer than friends would, though they do not touch. She bobs her head to greet me.
"We just can't escape the abnegation flirting." Zeke complains, shaking his head.
"I'm sorry," she says. "Did I interrupt?"
"No," says Caleb. "How are you?"
"I'm well. How are you?"
"Oh my god it gets worse."
I am just about to flee the dining hall rather than participate in careful, polite Abnegation conversation
"Same Tris same." Zeke says. Everybody laughs at him, although I can guarantee that the majority of the people here feel the same way. I definitely do.
when Tobias comes in, looking harassed. He must have been working in the kitchen this morning, as part of our agreement with the Amity. I have to work in the laundry rooms tomorrow.
"What happened?" I say as he sits down next to me.
"In their enthusiasm for conflict resolution, the Amity have apparently forgotten that meddling creates more conflict," says Tobias. "If we stay here much longer, I am going to punch someone, and it's not going to be pretty."
"Damn what the hell did they do to you." Zeke exclaims. I shrug but if I were to guess it was something personal.
"I would love to watch that go down though." Uriah adds.
Caleb and Susan both raise their eyebrows at him. A few of the Amity at the table next to ours stop talking to stare.
"You heard me," Tobias says to them. They all look away.
Tris starts laughing and the others follow.
"What do you want to bet that the Amity are terrified?" Shauna asks. Which makes everyone laugh harder.
"As I said," I say, covering my mouth to hide my smile, "what happened?"
"I'll tell you later."
It must have to do with Marcus. Tobias doesn't like the dubious looks the Abnegation give him when he refers to Marcus's cruelty, and Susan is sitting right across from him. I clasp my hands in my lap.
"Do you think it was?" Marlene asks.
"Probably" I reply. It would have to be something that would be able to set me off like that and Marcus definitely makes the list.
The Abnegation sit at our table, but not right next to us—a respectful distance of two seats away, though most of them still nod at us. They were my family's friends and neighbors and coworkers, and before, their presence would have encouraged me to be quiet and self-effacing. Now it makes me want to talk louder, to be as far from that old identity and the pain that accompanies it as possible.
Tobias goes completely still when a hand falls on my right shoulder, sending prickles of pain down my right arm. I clench my teeth to keep from groaning.
"It's definitely Marcus." Tori declares.
"How do you know that?" Will asks.
"It says he freezes. Marcus is really the only person I know of that can make him freeze up like that." She explains.
"Besides anyone else he probably would have gone ballistic." Max adds.
I don't mean too. But I get tense. I hate this. Hate that he has that effect on me, hate that it's noticeable, hate that he is hurting her- even if it wasn't necessarily intentional.
"She got shot in that shoulder," Tobias says without looking at the man behind me.
"My apologies." Marcus lifts his hand and sits down on my left. "Hello."
"What do you want?" I say.
"What could the asshole possibly want?" Zeke asks.
"Why would he touch her if abnegation aren't big fans of touching?" Will asks.
"Well if we want to believe he was being nice maybe he was trying to get her attention." Max says. "Or he was trying to bother Four. Both seem pretty likely to me."
Can we please talk about anything else?
"Beatrice," Susan says quietly. "There's no need to—"
"Susan, please," says Caleb quietly. She presses her lips into a line and looks away.
I frown at Marcus. "I asked you a question."
"I would like to discuss something with you," says Marcus. His expression is calm, but he's angry—the terseness in his voice betrays him.
I nearly flinch. I know that expression all too well.
"The other Abnegation and myself have discussed it and decided that we should not stay here. We believe that, given the inevitability of further conflict in our city, it would be selfish of us to stay here while what remains of our faction is inside that fence. We would like to request that you escort us."
I did not expect that. Why does Marcus want to return to the city? Is it really just an Abnegation decision, or does he intend to do something there—something that has to do with whatever information the Abnegation have?
I have no idea at this point. And honestly I'm not even sure if I want to think about it.
I stare at him for a few seconds and then look at Tobias. He has relaxed a little, but he keeps his eyes focused on the table. I don't know why he acts this way around his father. No one, not even Jeanine, makes Tobias cower.
I train my eyes on a spot on the floor. Ashamed. It's embarrassing how I act around him. And I hate how it's been two years and I still act that way.
Tris moves even closer to me and moves her hand so that it rests on my middle back,
I don't look up. Just continue staring at that spot on the floor.
Luckily, no one makes a comment.
"What do you think?" I say.
"I think we should leave the day after tomorrow," Tobias says.
"Okay. Thank you," says Marcus. He gets up and sits at the other end of the table with the rest of the Abnegation. I inch closer to Tobias, not sure how to comfort him without making things worse. I pick up my apple with my left hand, and grab his hand under the table with my right.
I'm not sure either. Comfort is not something I know.
But I can't keep my eyes away from Marcus. I want to know more about what he said to Johanna. And sometimes, if you want the truth, you have to demand it.
"End of chapter."