"Hey Darry, it's Soda. Um…I hate havin' to do this to you but I need you to come home. There's…we've gotten ourselves into…a little situation. Nothin' bad, no one's hurt or anythin' like that but…shit, Dar, we're at Kiefer Police Station and they won't let us leave until they've spoken to you. It's me, Two-Bit, Steve and…and the kid but don't freak out, we're lookin' after him I promise. Just…just get here as quick as you can without gettin' in a wreck, ok? I'm real sorry and I swear I'll make it up to you…somehow. Guess I'll see you soon, just…just try and stay calm will ya? Bye."
The stuttering message I'd left for Darry provided little comfort as I watched Two-Bit shout into the receiver, tryin' to convince some drunk chick at Buck's to put Dal on the phone. I could feel the anger just rolling offa Officer Delaney, he'd been pissed enough that it took me so long to find the number in the damn phonebook and now Two-Bit was workin' his last nerve.
"No, NO, Dally…it rhymes with err…" he floundered for a moment, lookin' around like someone was gonna help him. "Pally, no wait, Sally! Yeh, like Sally but with a D… No I know you ain't Sally, jesus sweetheart, you're killin' me here!"
I guess that musta been the last straw for Delaney since he reached forward and wrenched the phone away from Keith, slammin' it down like he wished it was my buddy's head.
"Time's up," he growled, just daring Two-Bit to protest. For once in his life he made the smart choice and backed up, holdin' his hands up in a 'don't shoot' gesture.
"You got it, chief, no complaints here. Guess I shoulda called Perry Mason instead huh?" Delaney rolled his eyes, not even botherin' to respond.
"Hey, you two!" He hollered across to Steve and my brother. "Get your asses over here, I ain't got all night to waste on you bozos!"
"Why? You gonna charge us with somethin'?" Steve called back, holdin' Ponyboy down when he began to stand up.
"Keep talkin', smartass, see how well that works out for you," Delaney threatened, bringing one hand up to rest conspicuously on his holster. Steve rolled his eyes but got to his feet, tugging a now confused Pony up with him. I guess he'd had forgotten to mention his rule of never doin' what a cop told you first time around when he gave my brother the lowdown on greaser vs fuzz etiquette!
"Geez, you gotta learn to relax, man! Bein' so tetchy all the time ain't good for your blood pressure," he drawled as they sidled up to the desk, Steve's cool guy act less effective than usual with Ponyboy hangin' onto his belt loops.
"Give me id for the kid," Delaney snapped as soon as they were in front of him. "I'm writin' y'all up for disturbing the peace."
"How the heck were we disturbin' the peace from inside our car?!" Keith demanded. "We didn't even have the freakin' radio on!"
"Yeah that don't even make sense!" I agreed, my voice comin' out louder than I'd intended.
"You're disturbing my peace right now!" Delaney barked, effectively cuttin' off any more discussion. He took a moment to collect himself, straightening him shirt before directing his next comment over our heads. "How about you, Officer Garret? Is your peace bein' disturbed too?"
"Sure is," came a bored soundin' voice from behind us. I'd forgotten all about the other cop who'd been gabbin' with Delaney earlier, I guess he must be on desk duty tonight. He was a big guy too (must be somethin' in the water round these parts) with a handlebar moustache and a toothpick in his mouth. He was leaning in the doorway of his office, lookin' mighty unimpressed by what had been dragged into his station house. Delaney, back on solid ground, threw open his arms in a 'there ya go' gesture and grinned like the cat that ate the canary.
"That's bullshit!" Steve snapped, never one to back down without a fight. "You're stitchin' us up!"
"Easy now, gotta think 'bout that blood pressure, boy," Delaney threw back at him smugly. Officer Garret chuckled in appreciation and Steve looked like he was about to blow a gasket. "Now gimme some godamn identification for this kid before I add resisting arrest to his rap sheet!"
"Resisting arrest?! Look at him!" I yelped, jabbing my finger towards Ponyboy who looked about as dangerous as a field mouse, his hand grippin' the bottom of Steve's shirt exactly how he clings to me after he wakes from a nightmare.
At the same time Two-Bit yelled, "He's a kid for christ's sake! It ain't like he's got a license he can show you!"
"He should have a school id," the dumb receptionist broad chimes in and when I swing around to stare at her she's actually leanin' forward in her seat to watch all this like it's her daytime soap opera. "Or at least a library card."
"Butt out, lady, he ain't got none of that!" Steve snarls and she quickly sits back, cheeks pinched and flushed like that's the most out-of-line thing happening right now!
"He ain't even got a name, we just call him Kid. And he don't talk either!" Two-Bit suddenly blurted, so obviously flyin' by the seat of his pants it would be funny if shit wasn't so serious. Even he looks surprised by what he's come out with, quickly glancin' across at Steve and me before shruggin' his shoulders. "Sure is a lot of hassle to book a kid who ain't even got a name, ain't it, boss?"
"Whaddya mean he don't talk? He soft in the head or somethin'?" Delaney demands, seeming flustered by this unexpected new development. I figure a guy like him ain't real used to havin' to think on his feet.
"He's mute," Steve growls, draping an arm across my brother's thin shoulders in a way that looks real casual but I catch him squeezing the back of Pony's neck like he does when he thinks the kid might rat us out to Darry. My brother squirms but keeps his silence, smart enough to play along. Delaney sucks his teeth for a moment, exchangin' a look with Toothpick before throwin' his head back and laughing meanly.
"Baloney! I know how youse guys operate, you lie as you breathe! Get over here and empty your pockets, you little punk!" Both Pony and Steve turn to look at me, waitin' on my permission. While ideally I don't want my brother within arms reach of Delaney, I know the kid won't be packin' anythin' more incriminating that a pack of smokes and even that's unlikely since I made him put his good jeans on for the party, so I nod my head.
"Go on, kiddo, do as the nice officer says," I direct, talkin' to Ponyboy but keepin' my gaze firmly on Delaney, who sneers at my shit-eating tone.
Swallowing audibly, Pony slowly moves away from Steve and steps up to the desk as Delaney reaches for a plastic tray and holds it out in front of him. When my brother doesn't immediately understand what he's supposed to do, he waves the tray in front of his face and barks, "Hurry up, turn them pockets out now!"
Ponyboy jumps and quickly starts rummagin' around in his pants, producing item after item with shakin' hands while we all look on. When he's finally done Delaney is left staring down at a bird's feather, three creased baseball cards, a pebble with a hole in it, a half-eaten bar of taffy, two metal soldiers and a pencil stub. I dunno what he'd been expecting my brother to hand over, but it definitely wasn't all that! Pony stayed gazin' up at Delaney for a long moment before turnin' to me and askin' with his eyes what he should do next. I widened my eyes back to him, because hand to god I did not expect him to have that much crap concealed on his person, but he just lifted one shoulder in reply and I could see from the way he was bitin' his lip he wanted out of this situation right now. Two-Bit musta been watchin' our silent conversation too since he cleared his throat loudly.
"Gee, you caught us Officers. What can I say, the kid is a criminal mastermind. You better book him pronto, I'd wager he was plannin' on holdin' up the town Piggly-Wiggly with that fine-lookin' feather right there!" Keith's sarcasm was so heavy it practically dripped off his tongue and Delaney glowered like he'd cheerfully murder the lot of us if he thought he could get away with it. With a muffled curse he reached out and yanked Pony towards him, furiously patting him down. Luckily Pony's pretty used to being manhandled by Darry so he didn't freak out, just let Delaney do his thing while shootin' desperate glances at me over his shoulder. Of course he found nothin' and eventually pushed Pone back towards Steve with a grunt of frustration.
"So lemme get this straight, you're gonna charge a kid - this kid right here, who still carries around toy soldiers and can't even tell you his name - with distrubrin' the peace and resistin' arrest?" Steve asks slowly, clearly implying it's the stupidest thing he's ever heard. "That's gonna be kinda a hard sell ain't it?"
"Is that why you joined the force, Officer Delaney? To arrest little kids? You really feel like that's a good use of police resources? I don't wanna tell you how to do your job but…" I trail off, makin' sure to raise my eyebrows sceptically.
"Yeah, you're already gonna have to fill out the paperwork for us three, why make things harder for yourself? I mean I don't even remember us havin' a kid with us, do you fellas?" Two-Bit looked around at us expectantly, his eyes slidin' over Ponyboy like he weren't even there and just like that I know we've moved onto Phase Two.
"Nope, I hate kids. Wouldn't catch me within ten feet of one, swear to god," Steve piped up, his face poker straight even as his hands rested on Pony's shoulders.
"No kids here, no siree. Just us hoodlums ready and waitin' to have the book thrown at us, nice and easy, no trouble…" I rocked back and forth on my heels, tryna act like my heart wasn't hammerin' away in my chest so hard it might jump right outta my mouth any second. Delaney knew what we were sayin' and we knew he knew what we were sayin', now it was just a matter of who was gonna give first. The silence stretched and I could feel cool sweat startin' to gather at the back of my neck. If this didn't work…well I didn't even wanna think it.
"Hey man, look, here!" Decidin' it was time to play his ace, Two-Bit reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his flask, bangin' it down on the desk in front of Delaney with a flourish. "You got me for public intoxication too! How about that, huh? You're the best damn detective in Oklahoma! Now do us a solid and forget the kid was ever here so we're even stevens, eh?"
"Jesus Christ, ok, fine! The kid was never here BUT," Delaney raised his voice as we all let out a collective whoops of success, "I'm writin' the rest of you up for wasting police time as well as disturbing the peace!"
"That is a-ok, Cap'n, just show us where we sign!" Two-Bit declared, beaming as I clapped him on the shoulder in thanks. Steve took the opportunity to quickly bundle Ponyboy back over to the chairs we'd been sat on earlier and I turned to shoot him a quick thumbs up. He gave ma a shaky smile before stickin' his thumb back in his mouth and watchin' solemnly as Delaney pulled out the fingerprint ink. I wished he'd look away, not wantin' him to see us get processed like honest to god criminals but too much had happened and I didn't wanna push our luck. Still, it stung.
Ten minutes late we were being lead back to the cells by Toothpick, my ink-stained fingers holdin' tight to Pony's hand. My initial elation at Two-Bit's coup had started to fade as the reality of a night in the cells set in. Keifer only had the one jail cell - dirty white bars with a hatch for food, a metal bench against the far wall and a bucket in the corner. As we came up I saw what looked like a pile of old blankets dumped on the bench so at least we wouldn't be cold, but a real toilet sure would've been nice!
"Make yourself at home, gentleman, because I don't wanna hear so much as a peep from your ever-lovin' mouths until I'm handing you off to whatever fool turns up to collect y'all. I don't like noise and I don't like trouble, ain't that right Joe?!" Toothpick watched us file into the cell before turning his head expectantly towards the pile of rags.
"Darn tootin', Officer Garret!" Came the slurred reply from the heap and Pony turned to stare at me in alarm. Of course we'd wind up havin' to share a cell with the town drunk, jesus, this night just didn't know when to quit!
"Ol' Joe's a regular visitor of ours, so he knows how we run things 'round here. He's sleepin' off a heavy night but he's mostly harmless. You'll find you get used to the smell. Sleep well, boys!" And with that he slammed the door with a echoing clang, locked it behind him and strolled away whistlin' to himself like he hadn't a care in the world.
"Jesus, is that stink comin' from Ol' Joe or the bucket?" I asked eventually, pullin' the collar of my shirt up to cover my nose. "It's makin' my eyes sting! Try not to breath too much, Pone."
"There but by the grace of God, eh guys," Two-Bit joked, gesturing to Ol' Joe then looking around at us all.
"Speak for yourself," Steve mumbled tiredly, bringing his hand up to scrub at his face. "Christ, what a bastard of a night. Next time you find yourself at a godamn hick party, Matthews, don't bother invitin' us. And I swear, Sodapop, we are never bringin' the kid with us anywhere ever again. I mean it, I'm done."
"Ok, Mr Crankypants, cool your jets. What's done it done, we just gotta make the best of it!" Two-Bit shrugged his shoulders, turning around in a small circle like a dog before deciding his spot was as good as anywhere and sittin' down right where he was. Steve scoffed.
"You're like a cockroach, Two-Bit, you can survive anywhere." He didn't mean it as a compliment and his eyes flashed dangerously as they landed on my brother. "And don't even get me started on you! What's with all the weird shit in your pockets, huh? You made us look completely ridiculous back there!"
"If that's what you keep in your good pants, kiddo, I dread to think what kind of crap do you carry around normally? No wonder our washing machine makes that strange clanging noise!" I deliberately kept my tone upbeat and ruffled Pony's hair so he knew I was just messin' with him, hopin' it would be enough to neutralize Steve's shitty attitude.
"It's just stuff I find," Pony mumbled defensively, frowning as he wrapped his arms around himself. "Leave me alone, I don't wanna talk about it!"
"No wonder our pal Delaney thought you were simple-minded!"
"Shut up, Steve, you're being mean!" My brother yelped, turnin' to me to back him up.
"Shhh, keep your voice down! They think you don't talk, remember?!" I quickly shushed him. "It's time for bed anyway! Ol' Joe has dibs on the bench so I guess… well I guess we'll just take the floor…"
I trailed off, lookin' around at the dirty concrete ground to see if there was anywhere that looked a bit less gross. Pony reluctantly crouched down next to me, pushin' some of the dust around with his shoe and makin' a face. I wasn't overly thrilled by the prospect either but what choice did we have? Shuffling us both backwards until we were resting against the bars, I sat down on my butt and pulled my brother down with me. Steve rolled his eyes but did the same, taking the corner opposite the bucket so he could rest his head while still keepin' an eye on everyone. Pony wriggled against me as I tried to pull him in, squirming his way out of my arms and I suddenly got why Darry was always takin' deep breaths and countin' to ten. I just needed him still and quiet so I could think for a minute.
"Lean against me, kiddo. I've got no idea what time it is but I know it waaaay late for you." I tried really hard to keep my voice light and coaxing but Pony stayed stubbornly upright.
"No, Soda, what if I have a nightmare?! Ol' Joe might wake up and that other cop will get mad at us!"
"Shh, I ain't gonna let you have a nightmare. Come on now, settle down." Pony sniffed like he was deciding whether to believe me or not. After a moment he let himself sag against me and I almost laughed with relief.
"Will the social worker find out about your charges? She won't try and put you in the boy's home will she?" He continued, plucking at my jeans with nervous fingers.
"Nah, kiddo, social services ain't bothered about me, they know I'm a lost cause. And there's gonna be no record of you ever bein' here so don't go worryin' about that either."
"But how's Darry gonna be able to find us? Does he know the way to…to here? If he don't come tomorrow will we have to stay here another night? What if -"
"Jesus, kid, enough with the questions already! I liked you better when you were mute."
"Lay down, babe, let's just try and get comfortable, ok?" I shot Steve a 'quit it' look over Pony's head as I gently began manoeuvre him into a more sleep-friendly position.
"Oww," he whined softy when I pushed on his left shoulder, stiffening up suddenly. I frowned and quickly tugged the collar of his shirt down so I could have a look.
"Oh yeh, the kid's shoulder's botherin' him. I think he knocked it when Delaney screwed with us in the cop car." Sure enough Pony had a large red mark stretching from his upper bicep to his shoulder that years of wrestling with Darry had taught me was definitely gonna turn into a bruise. I glared at Steve, pissed that he hadn't thought to mention this before and he shrugged his shoulders defensively. "What?! He told me earlier but it ain't like there's anythin' we can do about it!"
"Man if I'd known Delaney had messed up the kid's shoulder I wouldn't have bothered with the whole public intoxication bullshit! We could've just used that as leverage!" Keith piped up, although the way he was reclining back on his elbows like we were enjoyin' a relaxing day at the lake made it hard to take his outrage seriously.
"Can it, Two-Bit, you know you love bein' the fall guy!" Steve griped dismissively and I quickly jumped in before this could turn into something.
"Guys can we not do this right now?!" I hissed, jabbing my finger towards Ponyboy and widening my eyes. Both of them got my meaning and nodded, so I turned my attention back to my brother. "Here, Pone, lie on this side so you don't make it worse."
I shift him slightly so his head is resting in my lap and start stroking his hair, hopin' it'll calm him enough that he'll be able to get some shut eye. He whines again as I get him settled but doesn't fight me and I know he's exhausted. Heck I'm exhausted too. I hate that he has to lay on this dirty floor but there ain't nothin' to be done about it unless I pull him completely onto my lap and there's no way he'll let me. He shuffles around like he can't get comfortable and I can't hardly blame him - I'll never complain about our lumpy old mattress again!
"Here," Steve says after a moment, sitting forward to take off his jacket. He gets to his knees and crawls across to us, holdin' it out for me to take. "Cover him with this. It's cool in here and the last thing we need is him to catch a chill."
"You sure?" I ask before I take it, not because I'm shocked at him offering but it is pretty chilly and it'll leave him in just a thin muscle shirt. Steve shouldn't get sick himself just because I was too dumb to bring jackets for Pony and me. My buddy just rolls his eyes and lays the jacket over my brother length-ways so it stretches down to his knees almost like a blanket.
"'Course," he responds gruffly, despite tucking the denim over Ponyboy with gentle hands. "Best thing the kid can do is pass out for the night. Plus I'd rather not have to listen to him bitch about bein' cold - that kid can kick up a stick like no one I've ever met!"
I smile at my best friend, not buying his tough guy act at all. Steve treats Pony like he's something stuck to the bottom on his shoe most of the time but I know he loves my brother like he's…well like he's his own little brother. Just the type of kid brother who's a pest!
"You hear that, Pone? Listen to your Uncle Steve and close those peepers, huh?" I grin as Steve flips me the bird, but he's smilin' as he settles back into his spot. Pony groans against me, hunching his shoulders to draw Steve's jacket closer up around his chin.
"I can't," he whines miserably, rubbing his cheek against my thigh. He moves like he's gonna try and sit up but I quickly move a hand to his shoulder to keep him down.
"I know, but you gotta try, buddy. Here, I'll put my hand over your eyes so it's dark and then we'll think of nice things like mama told us, huh?" I didn't give him a chance to protest before cupping my hand across whereabouts I figured his eyes should be. He let out a disgruntled sigh but didn't pull away, just sneaked his own hand up from under Steve's coat and adjusted my placement. At the same time he butted his head gently against my hip to get me to start pettin' his hair again. "Ok, I'll go first. Remember that time we woke up and it had snowed and we all ran off the porch to jump in it and it was so deep you disappeared and Dad had to fish you out? And that time we were at the county fair and they had all the dogs visiting from the pound and mama let us play with them all afternoon? Wasn't that the best, kiddo?"
"I liked the one with the floppy ear, he kept licking me," Pony mumbled softly and I hummed in agreement, restin' my own head back against the bars while I tried to think of more happy memories to fill my brother's with. While I'd promised him he wouldn't have a nightmare the truth was I couldn't guarantee it, but I figured talkin' him to sleep would be a good start since we didn't have a book with us.
If we could just make it through the next few hours without anything else goin' wrong then Darry would be here to take over. Despite dreadin' the ass kickin' I knew I had comin' to me, I was desperate to have my big brother swoop in and start makin' the decisions again. Turns out bein' in charge isn't all it's cracked up to be and boy howdy was I learnin' that the hard way.