I've seen my brother get his butt handed to him more times in my life than I care to count. Just like now, I'd more often than not be standin' off to the side, waitin' on my turn and tryna guess how bad my own ass whuppin' was gonna be based off of his. Even if I weren't next in the firin' line I'd most likely be loitering nearby, ready to snuggle up with him in bed once Daddy was done with his own cuddles. I know how Ponyboy sounds when he's cryin' 'cause he's smartin' compared to when he's cryin' 'cause he's sorry, how he wriggles when he's tryna to get away versus when he can't help it, how sometimes he throws his hand back not because he's trya cover himself but 'cause he wants you to hold it. So what I'm sayin' is it ain't exactly like this was new territory for me. But this time…oh man, this time.
I swear I felt ever smack that fell on Pony like a punch to my own stomach. I wanted to look away so bad but I couldn't because it'd be like lettin' Ponyboy down all over again. Darry was spanking with a steely determination and I knew from the expression on his face that he'd hardened his heart against Pony's cries. People often accuse my brother of being a hard-ass but he ain't, he just steps up and does what needs to be done even if he don't like it. It can be hard to remember that when you're the one gettin' waled on though. Pony's bare-feet are drummin' against the floor and he's sobbin' big and gaspin' like he's forgotten we're even in the room and I hope to god that he has.
Dar shifts his attentions to the lower part of the kid's butt and Pony's fussin' amps up in response. I swallow against my own risin' emotions and glance across at Steve and Two-Bit. Keith's eyes are fixed firmly on the wall opposite, his gaze hovering somewhere just above Darry's head. He's never been good at seein' others in pain and, much as he likes to prod and tease my brother, I know he has a real soft spot for him, so I wasn't surprised he couldn't bring himself to watch. He sure could hear through and his jaw was clenched tight with it.
Steve, on the other hand, ain't never flinched away from anythin' his whole life and he weren't about to start now. He was starin' at Ponyboy's wriggly little self with a grim determination, like he could will the kid to settle down and suck it up through the power of his own mind. Seein' Pony cry has always grated on his nerves and I'd bet my bottom dollar he was wishin' he was literally anywhere else right now. He was sufferin' through his own endurance test just like Two and I were, except his torment was listenin' to the kid's howls rather than seein' him get his ass beat. Damn but Darry was a smart son of a gun!
Time passes and I can tell our big brother is startin' to bring things to a close when he moves back up to Pony's sit-spots. Dar follows the same spanking pattern no matter who he has over his knee and I know it way better than I care to. I'm happy since, while he's clearly made his displeasure known and the kid won't be sittin' pretty for a couple days, I've seen his behind lookin' way worse than it's current state. Not that I'd ever say as much to Pony, but in the hierarchy of Darry beat-downs, he's received about a mid-level punishment and you'd better believe that gives me a glimmer of hope for my own upcoming ass-kicking. He's still sobbin' fit to be tied, of course, but his butt's glowing fire-truck red instead of that deeper sunburn red and I've clocked Darry cuppin' his hand when he strikes which definitely takes the sting out a little. Not that Ponyboy will have noticed!
He's been pretty good at keepin' still, although his pyjama pants were kicked off in the first few minutes and are now layin' in a crumpled heap next to the tv. I'm glad since I didn't want him to make things worse for himself but also because it's unusual for Dar to spank sittin' on the coffee table like he is and I was a little nervous Pone might hurt himself against it if he got too wriggly. But he's done ok. There's a large wet patch on the carpet from his tears and I can see lines of snot decoratin' the bottom of Darry's jeans were he's wiped his nose off against him but he hadn't called out for me, which is what I'd really been dreading. He'd twisted around to look at me just the once, liftin' one arm up and reachin' out toward me when Dar shifted him forward to get at his upper-thighs. My body had sat forward on the couch without my brain's permission and I probably woulda done somethin' stupid if Steve hadn't caught me and held me back. Thank god too since that really woulda screwed both of us.
Darry's hand eventually stops fallin' and I hadn't realized how loud it'd been until the sound is no longer ringin' out. Pony's cryin' so hard he don't even understand he's stopped and I find my body tryin' to move towards him again like a magnet to metal. I get to the edge of the couch before Darry catches me with a glare that stops me in my tracks. He starts stroking Pony's back softly, makin' soft shhhing sounds as he holds my gaze strong enough to keep me pinned to my spot. And that's how we stay for several long minutes until Pony finally starts to calm down, breathy hiccups replacing the harsh sobs as Darry continues to pet him. Soon he starts to squirm about experimentally and I can tell he's confused about why he hasn't been let up yet, since we always get hugged after a spanking and Pony especially likes to cuddle up on the lap of whoever's just walloped him.
Dar still ain't said a word and if I had to guess I'd say he was gatherin' his nerve to follow through with the Little Paddle. He wasn't really mad at Pone, but since he's been attending this parenting support group over at the Y he's started using phrases like 'setting boundaries' and 'following through' so I figure this is probably one of those things. I ain't know much about the classes except my brother comes back from them looking less stressed out than when he'd left and he yells less often than he used to, so they gotta be good for somethin'. Although right about now I can see he ain't feelin' too hot about it all and I wonder if perhaps, just this once, he's gonna cut Ponyboy - and himself - break.
"I'm sorry, Darry," Pony's quiet voice is loud in the silent room. "I'm never gonna do it again - I promise!" Darry takes his time before answering, smoothing out Ponyboy's shirt where it's gotten rucked up around his waist.
"You ain't gonna do what again, kiddo?" He replies eventually and Steve shots me a questioning look like I have any idea what's happening.
"I ain't gonna go to no more parties!" Pony blurts out immediately, understandably desperate to get off of Darry's lap. Again our brother takes him time to respond and I can see he's choosin' his words real careful.
"You're gonna go to a lot more parties, honey. I'm hopin' not for a couple more years but you'll go, just like Soda does now and I did back in the day. And that's ok, it wouldn't be right of me to stop you goin' to hang out with your friends. But what I can do - what I have to do - is make sure you know how to act right when you're at those parties and teach you how to make smart choices even when other people ain't." Ponyboy sniffs and squirms a bit more, lettin' out a defeated whine when Darry tightens the grip he has on his waist. He's a smart kid, he's figured out ain't goin' nowhere just yet. "So…you're gettin' ten with the Little Paddle then we're done, ok? I want you to think back to this moment and remember exactly how your butt feels the next time some jackass offers you a drink."
He didn't wait for a reply before he bought the paddle down with a sharp flick of his wrist. I hadn't even noticed him pick it up and I flinched as it made contact with it's target, Steve and Two-Bit wincing right along side me. Pony howled loud enough for to wake the dead and I could hardly blame him. Darry swatted hard and fast, like he wanted done as much as anyone, and then it was over. Droppin' the Little Paddle on the floor he hauled Ponyboy up by the waist, tucking him into his chest fast as he could.
"It's ok, it's ok now, kiddo. You did real good, baby. You're ok." Pony buried his face in Darry's neck, sittin' up on his knees to press himself against him as Dar hugged him tight, rockin' gently from side to side. His shirt hung down to just below his hips, meaning the bottom of his behind was peekin' out and I could clearly see the angry rectangle splotches made by the paddle. Darry made no effort to cover him up and I knew it was for our benefit as much as Pony's comfort. "Shhh it's ok, I've got you now."
Ponyboy bein' upset after gettin' a spanking ain't nothin' new. Usually he cries hard for about five minutes or so then starts to settle; very occasionally he asks for Hoppy if he's really feelin' bad but mostly he's able to calm himself down with the help of some cuddles and reassurance from me or Dar. But this time it just ain't happenin'. Darry's tried all his usual tricks - rubbin' the kid's back, smoothing the hair at his nape of his neck, rockin' him slowly from side to side - and none of it's made a dent in the tears which are still spilling thick and fast down Pony's cheeks.
"Come on now, baby, why are you still cryin', huh? Try and take some big breaths for me, ok? I can feel your heart hammerin' away like you just run the 100 meter sprint." By this point Darry had shifted Ponyboy so he was sittin' sideways on his lap, curled up so his butt was hangin' down between Dar's spread knees. The kid took a few juddering gulps of air but it didn't seem to help much and I could hardly stand it. "Good boy, just take it easy for a minute and try to relax. You're all worked up, kiddo."
"You want me to take him, Dar?" I blurted before I could stop myself. I've always been good at soothin' our brother, it's why we decided I'd start sleepin' with him when his nightmares got so bad.
"Nah, just give him a moment. I think everything just caught up with him is all. That right, buddy? A lot's happened since I left y'all last night, hmm?" Pony nodded against Darry's chest, his eyes flicking guiltily towards me like he'd done somethin' wrong. Darry was watchin' him closely and followed his eyeline. "You wanna tell me about it? I know Sodapop explained everythin' real well earlier but it's ok if you wanna tell me somethin' too."
Ponyboy worried at his lip, his fingers playin' with Dad's old watch that Dar never takes off. After a minute he shifted himself upwards, looping one arm around Darry's neck to pull himself up so he could press his mouth against his ear. He cupped his hand and started whispering quiet enough that I couldn't hear a damn word. Darry nodded away as Pony told his secrets, keeping a steadying hand on the kid's back and his eyes firmly fixed on me.
"Hmm, I hear ya, buddy, but you know, it's ok to feel scared if you're in a scary situation, right? That feelin' is your body tryna tell your brain to be careful so you don't wind up hurt and it's how people survived in olden times." Darry explained calmly when Pony finally came up for air. "There's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid sometimes."
Ponyboy seemed to consider this for a moment, his eyes flicking over to me and the guys before he put his mouth to Darry's ear again.
"You might think that, kiddo, but I'd bet your big brothers were pretty scared themselves, it just gets easier to hide as you get older. Besides it sounds like you were plenty brave to me so I don't want you to think about it no more. It's all done with now and you're safe at home with me, that's all that matters." By now Pony was resting his head in the crook of Dar's neck lookin' calm for the first time since those flashin' blue lights had shown up. His breath was still hitchin' but the tears had finally stopped and I was unsurprised when Darry got to his feet. "Come on, let's get you settled down while I talk with the boys then I'll come and check on you later, ok? You three!" Dar's raised voice had us all jumpin' to attention as he half turned back to eye-ball us, Ponyboy peeking out at me from over his shoulder. "Keep your butts glued to that couch, you hear me? I'll be right back."
We watched them leave the room in silence.
Apologies for the delay in getting this chapter out, I've been having computer issues! Thanks for being patient!