Sorry this took so long! Its a big chapter and ive had to split it into two halves while i finish off the second half. Warning: Spock showing more of his human side

Everything was hazy when they got back, Leonard almost felt like he was in some type of lucid dream as he saw Scotties face drop from across the room, the rest of the ensigns at their stations following suit as they looked up from behind their consoles, all baring looks of horror and concern, hands over mouths in shock. Everything happening all at once and not at all as Jim resisted the urge to kick the Vulcan on the ground and instead told him to get up through gritted teeth. Looking up from his spot at Spock's side his hand gently squeezing Alex's arm his eyes met Jims, blue eyes were sharp as there gaze met before softening, Jim gave Leonard a nod and they both knew what they needed to do now they were back. Jims look alone telling Leonard to go. Look after her.

His feet started moving as his mind went into overdrive, Spock and Nyota hot on his heels as he stormed his way to med bay, shouting down his comm listing off to his staff all the things he was going to need setting up before they got there. Snapping out of auto pilot for a second when Nyota squeezed his bicep, looking over to see the sad smile he didn't know how to respond, he didn't speak, his mind just stopped. I can't do this right now, i can't stop to process anything. I need to stay on task. I need to clean up all these cuts.

"Are you hurt?" His voice was gruff as he spoke but he ignored it, clearing his throat after the words left his lips looking pointedly at Nyota waiting for the small shake of her head that soon followed.

"No, im fine. Leonard, he injected her with something, i-i don't know what it was but it made it impossible for her to fight back, her arms and legs looked like they were weighing her down. Her movements were so overly lethargic I-."

"I'll check for a relaxant in her system but its not usually the type of thing that lasts too long so it should be out of her system pretty soon either way." However he wanted that to sound was the exact opposite of what he ended up sounding like and Nyota frowned at him and his flat tone.

"You know if you just bottle it all up you'll soon explode." she said in a motherly tone and it made Leonard smile weakly. Nyota always had that scolding mother tone about her, the type of tone you'd hear if your grandma found out you haven't eaten all day and the "youll waste away you know" that always followed before they fed you till you were full to bursting. It brought a bit of warmth to him, knowing they were still keeping it co workers but that she would be there if he did fall apart because she was also his friend.

"If i don't bottle it up for a while longer i'll be no help to anyone. I'll be fine, you should get some rest after i've had chapel check you out." He gave her his best doctors orders voice trying to get a smile of some sorts out of her.

"I'm not leaving her." Nyota stated, Leonard raised a brow at her tone, noting it was said as a fact rather than an opinion.

"Well you'll be sleeping in the med bay tonight." He muttered.

"Fine by me."

His attention snapped to Alex as she started wincing in Spock's arms, her eyes shut tight as her hand came up to her temple in a attempt to rub soothing circles.

"You can't just bust back in here after all these years… who let you in…" she mumbled eyes opening again in their constant unfocused daze as they finally approached the med bays doors.

"Torin." Leonard stated, at least i hope its him and shes not losing her mind. He didn't completely understand all this mind stuff but there'd be time to ask about it all later, when the cuts in her head were cleaned and closed and her mind wasn't in the state that Spock said it was.

"It is unwise of him to be trying to communicate with her this way, it will be causing him pain."

"He's worried Spock. How would you feel if it was me in Alex's position?" Spock gave her a glance as the medbay doors opened before responding.

"Point made." Spock stated. Leonard couldn't help the small chuckle that left him, even with all the shit that was happening and the anxiety rushing around his veins Spock being corrected on something still managed to get a rise from him. Green blooded softy.

As they came through the med bay doors his professional mask came into place almost immediately, he was shouting orders to 5 different nurses at a time as Spock placed the usually lively red haired doctor down on the biobed that he'd had Christine prep for her, drawing the curtain half way around the bed instinctively as if it was some kind of barrier that would stop some of the ruckus getting to Alex's ears and giving her headache on top of all the other things she had going on.

"Wow, did i just hear Leonard McCoy shouting orders for the first time, asserting himself as cmo? I should get injured more often." Leonard sucked in a breath as Alex spoke her eyes focusing in on Leonard before she faded out again, Leonard felt the mask he was wearing breaking as he finally understood what Spock had meant. She was here but she was lost. She'd been back for a split second before they'd lost her again. The vacant expression in her eyes had vanished just as quickly as it had came back. Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose as he sat down on the bed next to her forcing the feelings right back down where he had to hold them until the med bay cleared.

"Please don't go out of your way to injure yourself, I'd rather you stayed in one piece." His voice was soft as he looked down at glassy green eyes, stroking a thumb over a freckled cheek before getting hold of himself again, whipping his hand away and looking up at Spock as if he'd been stung. Spock looked back with a level of understanding in his eyes that unnerved him, no judgement of his lack of emotional control present at all. "Sorry."

"You do not need to apologise to me Leonard, physical contact intended to comfort is one of the most pure instincts i have had the honour of witnessing amongst humans, i would never look down on anyone for this, least of all you."

For the first time in all his time knowing Spock this had to be the first time the man had made him speechless. He had no idea how to respond so instead got to work cleaning Alex's head and disinfecting the cuts on her scalp. Making sure to check her neck and face for any other injuries, making sure her windpipe hadn't been crushed or deformed during the the horrendous strangling he'd witnessed. That bastard is lucky we never bumped into him or id-

"Alex? What-" Torin stumbled over standing between Leonard and Spock as he watched water run down the side of Alex's head filling up the cuts with shallow pools of pink as the blood was slowly washed away. Spock could see the rage filling the Vulcan as he stood rigid and noticed Alex squirming in her bed.

"Torin remain calm your anger is only going to cause her more pain." Spock put a hand up to stop him from stepping too close while the wound was being cleaned out. Spock knew he would not hurt her but he still felt apprehension towards him and his current state of being especially since his controls seemed to be lacking since the link had opened. It was no doubt taking its toll on Torin due to how abrupt and violent its reopening was.

"He did this." It was a statement rather than a question as Torin teetered on the edge of control, Leonard could feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing to attention and saw Spock shifting forward slightly in his seat as an uneasy tension continued to build. Alex squirmed more on the bed before Torin let out a breath, letting the tension and anger slip away leaving through his fingertips as he opened his palms splaying his fingers, Alex stilled then, eyes closing as if she was at some kind of peace. "Let me help her? If i enter into a mind meld with her i may be able to help ease the pain, help her find her way back so to speak." The desperation in the Vulcans voice was nothing but alarming, especially from a species that preached emotional control religiously.

Leonard looked to spock with scepticism that was returned. Spock eyed the Vulcan closely for a minute turning his face to Alex and pausing. I must not put her at risk, you need to be absolutely sure of this if you are to let him assist her. And if he cannot then i will volunteer, though it may take days for her mind to be strong enough for an entirely new mind to successfully meld with her.

"You must promise to have a healer break your link with her, though i do not know what she would say to your request, i believe the link was opened accidently, It appears Alex was seeking help which is why it was opened so violently and caused you physical pain, she had no control over this." Spock contemplated his offer after telling him his own theory on why there link was now reopened. Turning momentarily to look over at Nyota who was looking across at them heart aching at what Torin would soon know.

"I cannot tell you what she would say as i cannot hear her clearly but i know… there is something she needs to tell me… though she worries for peoples safety at my reaction. I do not understand-"

"Then maybe it's best we hear it first so we can get a sense of what your reaction could be. I know this could be deeply personal but-"

Torin could Leonard off with a nod. "You are right, she feels that would be for the best under the circumstances. But how can-"

"I know what it is she needs to tell you." Nyota spoke from the edge of her bio bed. "You don't want to hear this from me so id leave the med bay for a couple of minutes, come back and ask a nurse where we are when you get back in." Nyota looked up through sad eyes at the clueless but clearly anxious Vulcan infront of her, his grey eyes conveying thousands of emotions, the mind link knocking down whatever walls had been in place to keep them in check.

"If you think it is best." He spoke aloud, though Nyota wasn't sure if it was meant for her or for Alex. The way she was awake but unseeing was making her want to cry, her eyes looked barron.

Drawing the curtain entirely around the bed she sighed, sitting down tentatively beside Leonard. She didn't know how to start, how to say it. Is it something you ease into or something you say all at once, this is one if those situations... Where no matter how good i am with languages it's never going to be easy to break the news.

"I think we should move them to a secure room that has the ability to transport Torin on a moments notice, possibly to the brig. But not in the same cell as Lyras unless you want a dead Vulcan before a trial."

Dread filled Leonards stomach hearing this and this wasn't even the news. What the hell could it possibly be?

There are numerous possibilities that could trigger such a violent reaction in a Vulcan, the loss of our home world being one-

"She was pregnant, Lyras H-he found out. He poisoned her, she-. She'd thought it was just one of those things that happened for all these years, but… he took the choice away from her. He made it for her. He killed that baby before it even had a chance, before she'd even decided herself."

Leonard felt his heart rip in two as soon as the first sentence left Nyotas mouth. He couldn't imagine it- he just knew if Jo was taken away from him permanently he'd be unconsolable. He knew it wasn't the same but by god he had nightmares about that. Christ no wonder she's in pain, having a miscarriage is painful enough but to find out it wasnt that at all? To find out someone killed the thing growing inside of you-the fetus before it even had a chance to become a child… before she'd even made up her mind if she was ready to be a mother or not. That kid could have been what 3 or 4 round about now… what kind of monster-

"Leonard. Perhaps this is why Torin had to leave, he could not tell us before while Lyras was still free but-"

"Yea, Lyras threatened Torins family and Alex as soon as he found out that Torin was considering leaving his, well now his wife for Alex. They weren't married back then, just paired up from a young age for… biological reasons. The reason his ship was attacked, he turned up at Yorktown to make peace with her thinking after all these years Lyras wouldn't be paying attention. But he was…" Nyota cut Spock off brushing a thumb over Alex's hand as she looked down at her friend. "Neither of them deserved this, least of all her." Nyota snapped pulling her hand away to look over at leonard with grief.

"Nobody deserves this." Leonard soothed, wrapping his arms around Nyotas smaller frame as she sunk into his chest with a soft sob.

"I think Nyotas' suggestion seems the wisest giving the information we've just been told. However we should monitor them while the mind meld is taking place, the captain should also be informed of this information and our plan, Nyota if you would be so kind as to track him down and tell him?" Spocks voice was low and smooth as Nyota looked up from Leonards embrace into those oh so human brown eyes, giving him a small nod she scurried away, leaving them in a heavy silence. Spock sighed, standing up slowly from his seat and looking down at the redhead who was seemingly staring straight past him.

"Whats on your mind Spock, i haven't seen you this tense over another crew member before unless its Jim or Nyota." Leonard sounded somewhat defensive in his tone but Spock knew it was just worry making the doctor suspicious of almost everyone's intentions with Dr Reid.

"I find myself conflicted, i do not see myself as close to Dr Reid as you or Lieutenant Uhura, however… I wish to help her. I do not wish to see her go through what i have been through alone and especially without being taught certain aids such as meditation."

"She's not going to be alone Spock she's got me, she's got all of us. As Long as you aren't gunna try turn her into a entirely logical being then-"

"Do not worry Leonard, i do not wish to change who she is, i simply want to teach her how to deal with certain aspects of her Vulcan biology rather than see her struggle. Meditation would be a solid starting point in helping her deal with her heightened emotions. I will not let her go through this journey alone, as a half human myself i do not wish to witness others like me suffer ridicule from society alone." Spock finished his fists clenching a little too tightly behind his back before they relaxed.

And that was when Leonard realised something. Watching Spock as he looked down at the steady rise and fall of her chest beneath the thin sheets, watching his knuckles turn white for a split second behind his back as he glanced at the Vulcan markings carved into her scalp. To Spock this wasn't just a friend being mutilated. This is personal to him. Someone just like him has been mutilated for simply existing as a mixture of two races. Her life course altered by someone who thought themselves superior, someone trying to play god. Something tells me Spock's gunna turn into an older brother when it comes to her… it's an oddly sweet thing considering he's got a pole up his ass a lot of the time, then again i suppose if i was in his shoes I'd be protective of her as well. I mean he's not starting any mind training until she's fully recovered thats for sure, he'll wait however long it damn well takes.

"I think she'd appreciate that Spock. But no mind training till she's fully recovered, you got it?" Leonard pointed a finger at him accusingly chuckling when the hobgoblin raised a brow at him before his face dropped again, staring at the cursive swirls carved into her skin. He knew he wouldn't like what it said but he had to know. "What does it say?" He breathed out the words, barely a whisper but reaching his friends pointed ears all the same.

Spock looked at Leonard before looking at the ground with defeat on his features. "Ulef Khaf. Half blood."

Leonard sighed at this, feeling not anger or rage bubbling up but a sinking feeling in his chest, the human race had came so far with equality in things such as sexuality and race that it was rare to come across a racist or homophobe nowadays. But Vulcans, or some vulcans… it seems like they had a long way to come with being accepting. Different species had been mating with each other for centuries now and were rarely met with stigma, but Vulcans and humans. It was something the entire human race didn't seem to have a problem with, but the entirety of the Vulcan race frowned upon, but why? Why should a species limit itself if they are compatible with another species? Didn't Vulcans need to raise there numbers after their planet was destroyed? He didn't see the problem. "Course he put a label on her, as if being half of either race makes her less of a person." Leonard frowned forcing himself to move, gathering the curtains and pulling them back as he prepped the bed to be moved into a private room.

"I believe the label will not phase her when she comes round, after all, what is the shame in simply existing as one was made?" Spock spoke quietly as he stepped to the other end of the bed helping Leonard move it through the med bay un interrupted. Leonard hadn't been made speechless by Spock so much in his life. He really hoped it didn't become a regular thing for spock to continue saying such profound things. He already respected the man god damn it he couldn't respect him any harder than he already did but somehow that's exactly what was happening. Then everything was happening so suddenly again as Torin was in the room with her before they knew it as they monitored from security cameras closely ready to beam the Vulcan away at a moments notice. Neither Spock or Leonard knew what was going on but Leonard felt almost out of place watching as soon as Torins fingertips found their place on the side of her head. He shifted uncomfortably at the desk, almost feeling guilty that the image coming through was so clear and not grainy as he watched Alex's eyes open looking up at Torin with tears in her eyes searching for something he didn't understand.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, voice hoarse as she lifted her hand to cup the one resting against her head. "You don't have to do this-"

"Do not apologize for something that wasn't your fault." Torins voice broke as he spoke, making Leonard look away. We really shouldn't be watching this, this is private. He could see tears streaming out of the mans eyes as he finally lost grip on the tethers of his controls, brow creasing and his head bowing as an muffled sob sounded. "I am the one that should be apologising, this is my fault-"

"Shut up. You're in my head right now so you know damn well i don't blame you for this. This isn't on you or me." there was no real bite to her words as she said them but she was looking at him with sincerity, their pain was mutual on the matter but they both knew nothing could be done to change the past.

"You misunderstand ashayam, i do not just mean the circumstances that have came to light but your kidnapping in general. I came to apologise and make right by the things that I'd done, i came to tell you everything. And you were not in yorktown. But he knew. He came for me and then he came for you. I came to apologise after years to rid myself of guilt selfishly...and this is where it has lead us." His voice was hoarse as he spoke his words heavy with such foreign emotion that it was chilling to bare witness to. Spock visibly clenched beside Leonard at the display.

"Torin, it's all over now. You've explained everything better than you ever could with words through this." Alex tapped at her head. "You have nothing to be sorry for not anymore, but you need to do me one big favour, you need to go meditate with your family. They're worried."

The corner of Torins mouth raised slightly though the mood was still sombre. "Vulcans do not experience worry or anxiety."

"Says the worried and anxious Vulcan in my head." C'mon sweety let's wrap this up you've helped me come back from a dark place, i didn't know if i was gunna make it back on my own, i can't thank you enough. But you need to meditate this link isn't healthy for you.

"Shut up." Torin muttered, a burst of laughter came from Alex at his little outburst along with a short lived grin. Always the doctor looking out for others before herself, but i will heed your advice Alex. We will need to get the link removed by a healer on new vulcan, i… Torin removed his hand from her face as his eyes re focused. "I do hope we can remain friend's Alex, i am also glad to see you have moved on. Do not look at me like that i-"

"Pervert." Alex muttered, relishing the few moments of bantering and normalcy before the sadness sunk in again. She wanted to be strong but she knew it was going to be a long haul back to where she had been.

"Your mind was in shambles if it is anyone's fault i saw the things i did then it is yours. The doctor will metaphorically speaking, have his hands full." Torin rolled his eyes sarcastically before offering one of those exceedingly rare Vulcan half smiles, "But he is also very lucky." Torin paused before looking at the door then back towards Alex on the bed holding out his arm for her to link her own through. "i can hear you mocking me in a childish tone we are still in physical contact and your thoughts have Always been extremely loud."

"Sorry… if you need anything before we get to new vulcan just shout me, not literally but yea- you know what i mean." Alex breathed out a sigh as they headed for the door arm in arm. "It's gunna take more than just ourselves to get us through this."

"And i will be here, as will all of your friends no doubt. And the doctor. He's not going to punch me when we walk through this door is he?" Torin questioned seriously causing Alex to look up at him completely perplexed for a second before laughing.

"No. Why would he punch you?"

"Human males seem to act out when another male is in close proximity of their mate, as a display of dominance.- do not even finish that thought, i do not want the mental image."

"He's definitely not gunna punch you, hes a doctor. And sorry you know my mind wanders i can't help it." Alex apologised sheepishly turning slightly pink in the cheeks. Leonard couldn't describe the amount of relief he had seeing her back in her body being able to converse with others again. The hint of jealousy at the level of comfort Torin was able to give her was overruled by his own relief as a doctor and his own sense of logic. It would have been Alexs and Torins child, so it made sense that he would need to know and she would be most comforted by him in that respect. But everything else, Leonard was the man for that. Everything else he'd be there for her to help her with and he'd never let her down. Atleast she's not lost in her own mind anymore, the amount of emotional relief that must have gave her for her to be up and moving on her own accord is un thinkable, how do minds work? was she lost and he had to find her? Call her back from where she was wandering aimlessly? Either way it's helped massively, but the pain is still there. Obviously. It's still there in her eyes, just a minute or two of normalcy until the weight of reality rears its ugly head again. Crying on and off for days probably, but thats grief, you hold her through it all, she'll get through this.

"Your patient, doctor. " Torin relaxed his arm forcing Alex to unlink her arm as she scooted over till she was pressed gently against Leonards side, one arm gently grazing at his back as if she didn't quite know what to do with herself or how to ask for affection and comfort. A vulnerability she very rarely showed and something Leonard picked up on instantly as he plucked her hand from his back holding it in his own gently, rubbing his thumb over her knuckle reassuringly as their fingers intertwined.

"Thankyou." Leonard didn't know what to say to the man other than that, there wasn't enough words in the universe to describe his gratitude. Alex could have permanently became lost in her own mind, she might have had to have been hooked up too a life support machine and fed through tubes if it wasn't for him. Apparently his eyes did the talking for him as Torins greys met his browns and his lip curved upward slightly before he gave a curt nod, turning he headed out of the med bay without another word. In walked Jim then looking frustrated but calming down when he saw Torin walking out looking slightly more peaceful than he usually was, turning he saw the three of them all stood to the side in the back of the med bay and he smiled cautiously, slightly worried and feeling guilty in himself still.

"You have the next two days off duty and you let me know when you're ready to head back to work there's no rush alright?" Jim rushed out as he approached them, gesturing to Leonard before turning his attention to Alex who he noticed had herself firmly tucked to Leonards side and one of his arms tucked behind them undoubtedly holding her hand. "I'm glad to see you up and about again... " Jim paused, his feelings of relief anger and confusion all turning into a cocktail in his mind before he sighed and tugged her in for a hug. Feeling her tense up before she relaxed giving him a squeeze he felt her smile into the crook of his shoulder. "You're a tough bitch i hope you know that, don't go getting kidnapped, like ever again or I'll have to court martial you." Jim chuckled as he let her go nodding towards Bones as a small smile spread across the redheads face. God this is so strange, i feel guilty for feeling more about Nyota being kidnapped but now they're back. Now Alex isn't a mumbling mess, i- jesus this smart ass sass monster has made me have feelings. She's made herself one of us, she's part of the group. I'm requesting shore leave as soon as possible after all this. We need to get to know her properly, i want to get to know her properly. Damn it Spock stop looking at me like im soft. "Alright go on you two, no more stress, go!" He waved them off with a sigh, turning to Spock who was wearing his half smile that made Jim roll his eyes at the Vulcan as they walked out of the medbay together.